Excerpts from Eastward Ho!

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Touch. Prentises recreations are seldome with their maisters profit. Worke vpon that now. You shall giue vp your cloake tho you be no Alderman. Heyday, Ruffins hall. Sword, pumps, heers a Racket indeed.

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Qui. […] lets be no longer fooles to this flat-cap Touchstone. Eastward Bully: this Sattin belly, & Canuas backt Touchstone; Slife man his father was a Malt-man, and his mother sould Ginger-bread in Christ-church.

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Goul. No, thou wilt vndoe thy selfe. Alas I behold thee with pitty, not with anger; thou common shot-clog, gull of all companies: mee thinkes I see thee already walking in Moore fields without a Cloake, with halfe a Hatte, without a band, a Doublet with three Buttons, without a girdle,

a hose with one point and no Garter, with a cudgell vnder thine arme borrowing and begging three pence.

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Mil. Well Sister, those that scorne their nest, oft flye with a sicke wing.

Gir. Boe-bell.

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Gir. Boddy a truth, Chittizens, Chittizens. Sweet Knight, as soone as euer wee are married, take mee to to thy mercie out of this miserable Chittie, presently, carry me out of the sent of New-castle Coale, and the hearing of Boe-bell, I beseech thee downe with me for God sake.

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Touch. Sir, Eastward hoe, will make you go Westward ho; I will no longer dishonest my house, nor endanger my stocke with your licence; […]

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Pet. Faith to seeke her Fortune I thinke. I said I had a castle and land Eastward, and Eastward she will without contradiction; her coach, and the coach of the Sunne must meete full butt: And the Sunne being out shined with her Lady-ships glorie, she feares hee goes Westward to hange himselfe.

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Qui. Gods me Knight, put ’hem in sufficient sureties, rather then let your Sworde bayle you; Let ’hem take their choice, eyther the Kings Benche, or the Fleete, or which of the two Counters1 they like best, for by the Lord I like none of ’hem.

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Pet. Welcome good Captaine Seagull, and worthy Gentlemen, if you will meete my friend Francke here, and me, at the blew Anchor Tauerne by Billinsgate this Euening, we will there drinke to our happy voyage, be merry, and take Boate to our Ship with all expedition.

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Gyr. […] Mary hang you; Westward with a waniō te’yee. […]

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Petronell. Well my kinde Compere, you haue now Th’assurance we both can make you; let mee now entreate you, the money wee agree’d on may bee brought to the Blewe Ancor, nere to Billings-gate, by Six a Clocke: where I and my cheife friends, bound for this voyage, will with Feastes attend you.

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Sea. Come Drawer, pierce your neatest Hogsheades, & lets haue cheare, not fit for your Billingsgate Tauerne; but for our Virginian Colonel; he wilbe here instantly.

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Secu. Well, God pardon her for my part, and I doe Ile bee

sworne; and so Maister Francis, here’s to all that are going Eastward to night, towardes Cuckolds hauen; and so to the health of Maister Bramble.

Quick. I pledge it Sir, hath it gone rounde, Captaines?

Sea. It has sweet Franck, and the rounde closes with thee.

Quic. Wel Sir, here’s to al Eastward & toward Cuckolds, & so to famouse Cuckolds hauen so fatally remembred. Surgit.

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Draw. Sir Petronell, here’s one of your water men come to tell you, it wilbe flood these three houres; and that t’will bee dangerous going against the Tyde: for the skie is ouer cast, & there was a Porcpisce, euen now seene at Londō bridge, which is alwaies the messenger of tempests, he sayes.

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Secu. You must bend then Maister Bramble; So, now I am for you: I haue one corner of my braine, I hope, fit to beare one carouse more. Here Lady, to you that are encompast there, & are asham’d of our company. Ha, ha, ha, by my troth, (my learn’d counsaile Maister Bramble) my minde runnes so of Cuckolds hauen to night, that my Head runnes ouer with admiration.

Bram. But is not that your wife. Neighbour?

Secu. No by my troth Maister Bramble; ha, ha, ha, a Pox of all Cuckolds-hauens I say.

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Pet. Gossip, laugh no more at Cuckolds-hauen Gossip.

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Secu. What Winnie? Wife, I say? out of dores at this time! where should I seeke the Gad-flye? Billingsgate, Billingsgate, Billingsgate. Shee’s gone with the Knight, shee’s gone with the Knight; woe be to thee Billingsgate. A boate, a boate, a boate, a full hunderd Markes for a boate.

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Slit. All haile, faire Hauen of married men onely, for there are none but married men Cuckolds. For my part, I presume not to arriue here, but in my Maisters behalfe, (a poore Butcher of East-cheape) who sends me to set vp (in honour of Saint Luke) these necessarie Ensignes of his homage: And vp I got this morning, thus early, to get vp to the toppe of this famous Tree, that is all fruite and no leaues, to aduance this Crest of my Maisters occupation. Vp then, Heauen and Saint Luke blesse me, that I be not blowne into the Thames as I clime, with this furious Tempest; Slight, I thinke the Deuill be abroade, in likenesse of a storme, to rob me of my Hornes: Harke how he roares. Lord! what a coyle the Thames keepes! she beares some vniust burthen I beleeue, that she kicks and curuets thus to cast it: Heauen blesse all honest passengers, that are vpon her back now, for the Bitte is out of her mouth I see, and shee will runne away with ’hem. So, so, I thinke I haue made it looke the right way, it runnes against London-Bridge (as it were) euen full butt. And now, let mee discouer from this loftie prospect, what pranckes the rude Thames playes in her desperate lunacie. O me, here’s a Boate has beene cast away hard by. […]

⁂

Secu. What! landed at Cuckolds hauen? Hell and damnation. I will runne backe and drowne my selfe. { He falles downe.

Slit. Poore man how weake hee is! the weake water ha’s washt away his strength.

Sec. Landed at Cuckolds hauen? if it had not bin to die twentie times a liue, I should neuer haue scapt death: I will neuer arise more: I will grouell here, and eate durt till I be choak’t: I will make the gentle earth doe that, which the cruell water ha’s denied me.

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Slit. […] A womanly faith, a woman, though it be almost at S. Kath’rins, I discerne it to be a woman for al her bodie is aboue the water, & her clothes swim about her most handsomely. O they beare her vp most brauely! has not a woman reason to loue the taking vp of her cloathes the better while she liues, for this? Alas, how busie the rude Thames is about her? A pox a’ that waue. It wil drowne her, yfaith, twill drowne her. […]

⁂

Draw. Comfort your selfe; That power that preserued you from death: can likewise defend you from infamie, howsoeuer you deserue it. Were not you one that tooke Bote, late this night, with a Knight, and other Gentlemen at Billings-gate?

Wynn. Vnhappy that I am, I was.

Draw. I am glad it was my good happe to come downe thus farre after you, to a house of my friends heere in S. Kath’rines, since I am now happily made a meane to your rescue, from the ruthlesse tempest; […]

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Slit. See, see, see! I hold my life, there’s some other a taking vp at Wapping, now! […]

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1. Gen.2 On the cost of Doggs Sir: Y’are ith’ Ile a Doggs I tell you. I see y’aue bene washt in the Thames here, & I beleeue ye were drownd in a Tauerne before, or els you would neuer haue tooke boate in such a dawning as this was. […]

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Pet. […] Woe, woe is me, what shall become of vs? the last money we could make, the greedy Thams has deuourde; and if our Ship be attach’t, there is no hope can relieue vs.

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Touch. […]

[…] I wonder I heare no news of my sonne Goulding! He was sent for to the Guild-hall, this Morning betimes, and I maruaile at the matter, if I had not layd vp Comfort, & hope in him, I should grow desperate of al. […]

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Gould. They haue their degree of welcome, I dare affirme. The Colonell, and all his company, this morning putting forth drunke from Belinsgate, had like to haue been cast away o’this side Greenwich: and (as I haue intelligence, by a false Brother,) are come dropping to towne, like so many Masterlesse men, i’their doublets and hose, without Hatte, or Cloake, or any other—

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Quic. Would it had beene my fortune, to haue beene trust vp at Wapping, rather then euer ha’ come here.

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Touch. […] he was a Gentleman, and I a poore Cheapeside Groome […] one that married a daughter of mine, Ladefied her, turn’d two thousand poundes worth of good land of hers, into Cash, within the first weeke, bought her a new Gowne, & a Coach, sent her to seeke her fortune by land, whilst himselfe prepared for his fortune by sea, tooke in fresh flesh at Belingsgate, for his owne diet, to serue him the whole voyage, the wife of a certaine vsurer, cald Securitie, who hath bene the broker for ’hem in all this businesse: Please Maister Deputy, Worke vpon that now.

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Touch. Now sonne, come ouer ’hem with some fine guird, as thus, Knight you shall be encountred, that is, had to the Counter;3 or Quicksiluer, I will put you in a crucible or so.

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Touch. […] They’le looke out at a window, as thou rid’st in triumph to Tiborne, and crye, yonder goes honest Franck, mad Quicksiluer; […]

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Goul. Officers take ’hem to the Counter.4

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Wolfe. And he has conuerted one Fangs a Sarieant, a fellow could neither write, nor read, he was call’d the Bandog o’the Counter:5 and he has brought him already to pare his nailes, and say his prayers, and ’tis hop’d, he will sell his place shortly, and become an Intelligencer.

⁂

Fri.6 Is the Knight any, Scholler too?

Pris. 1.7 No, but he will speake verie well, and discourse admirably of running Horses, and White-Friers, and against Baudes; and of Cocks; and talke as loude as a Hunter, but is none.

⁂

Qui. In Cheapside famous for Gold & (Plate,

Quicksiluer I did dwel of late:

I had a Master good, and kind,

That vvould haue vvrought me to his (mind.

⁂

Pet. I thanke you Francis.

I thought by Sea to runne away, —But Thames, and Tempest did me stay.

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Quic. Still Eastward hoe vvas all my (word:

But VVestward I had no regard.

Nor neuer thought, vvhat vvould come (after

As did alas his youngest Daughter, […]

⁂

Quick. […] Farevvel Cheapside, farevvel svveet trade

Of Goldsmithes all, that neuer shall fade

Farevvell deare fellovv Prentises all

And be you vvarned by my fall:

Shun Vsurers, Bauds, and dice, and drabs.

Auoide them as you vvould French scabs

Seeke not to goe beyond your Tether,

But cut your Thongs vnto your Lether

So shall you thriue by little and little,

Scape Tiborne, Coūters,8 & the Spitle

⁂

Touch. Bring him forth, Maister Wolfe, and release his bands. This day shalbe sacred to Mercy, & the mirth of this Encounter, in the Counter.9—See, we are encountred with more Suters.

⁂

Gert. As heartely, as I would be forgiuen, Knight. Deare Father, giue me your blessing, and forgiue me too; I ha’ bene proud, and lasciuious, Father; and a Foole, Father; and being raisd to the state of a wanton coy thing, calld a Lady, Father; haue scorn’d you, Father; and my Sister; & my Sisters Veluet Cap, too; and would make a mouth at the Citty, as I ridde through it; and stop mine eares at Bow-bell: I haue said your Beard was a Base one, Father; and that you look’d like Twierpipe, the Taberer; and that my Mother was but my Midwife.

⁂

Touch. […] Haue you no apparell to lend Francis to shift him?

Quick. No sir, nor I desire none; but here make it my suite, that I may goe home, through the streetes, in these as a spectacle, or rather an example to the Children of Cheapside.

⁂

EPILOGVS.

STay Sir, I perceiue the Multitude are gatherd together, to view our comming out at the Counter.10 […]

⁂

Notes

I.e., Wood Street Counter and Southwark Counter. (KL)↑
I.e., First Gentleman. (KL)↑
I.e., Wood Street Counter or Southwark Counter. (KL)↑
I.e., Wood Street Counter or Southwark Counter. (KL)↑
I.e., Wood Street Counter or Southwark Counter. (KL)↑
I.e., Friend. (KL)↑
I.e., First Prisoner. (KL)↑
I.e., Wood Street Counter and Southwark Counter. (KL)↑
I.e., Wood Street Counter or Southwark Counter. (KL)↑
I.e., Wood Street Counter or Southwark Counter. (KL)↑

References

Drouillard, Tara. Executions. The Map of Early Modern London, Edition 6.6, edited by Janelle Jenstad, U of Victoria, 30 Jun. 2021, mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/6.6/EXEC1.htm.

Cite this page

MLA citation

Chapman, George, Ben Jonson, and John Marston. Excerpts from Eastward Ho! The Map of Early Modern London, Edition 6.6, edited by Janelle Jenstad, U of Victoria, 30 Jun. 2021, mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/6.6/EAST3.htm.

Chicago citation

Chapman, George, Ben Jonson, and John Marston. Excerpts from Eastward Ho! The Map of Early Modern London, Edition 6.6. Ed. Janelle Jenstad. Victoria: University of Victoria. Accessed June 30, 2021. mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/6.6/EAST3.htm.

APA citation

Chapman, G., Jonson, B., & Marston, J. 2021. Excerpts from Eastward Ho! In J. Jenstad (Ed), The Map of Early Modern London (Edition 6.6). Victoria: University of Victoria. Retrieved from https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/editions/6.6/EAST3.htm.

RIS file (for RefMan, RefWorks, EndNote etc.)

Provider: University of Victoria
Database: The Map of Early Modern London
Content: text/plain; charset="utf-8"

TY  - ELEC
A1  - Chapman, George
A1  - Jonson, Ben
A1  - Marston, John
ED  - Jenstad, Janelle
T1  - Excerpts from Eastward Ho!
T2  - The Map of Early Modern London
ET  - 6.6
PY  - 2021
DA  - 2021/06/30
CY  - Victoria
PB  - University of Victoria
LA  - English
UR  - https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/6.6/EAST3.htm
UR  - https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/6.6/xml/standalone/EAST3.xml
ER  -

TEI citation

<bibl type="mla"><author><name ref="#CHAP2"><surname>Chapman</surname>, <forename>George</forename></name></author>, <author><name ref="#JONS1"><forename>Ben</forename> <surname>Jonson</surname></name></author>, and <author><name ref="#MARS7"><forename>John</forename> <surname>Marston</surname></name></author>. <title level="a">Excerpts from <title level="m">Eastward Ho!</title></title> <title level="m">The Map of Early Modern London</title>, Edition <edition>6.6</edition>, edited by <editor><name ref="#JENS1"><forename>Janelle</forename> <surname>Jenstad</surname></name></editor>, <publisher>U of Victoria</publisher>, <date when="2021-06-30">30 Jun. 2021</date>, <ref target="https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/6.6/EAST3.htm">mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/6.6/EAST3.htm</ref>.</bibl>

Excerpts from Eastward Ho!

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