The Cambridge Edition of the Works of Ben Jonson

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Cynthia’s Revels, or The Fountain of Self-Love, revised scenes from the 1616 folio

Edited by Eric Rasmussen and Matthew Steggle

Introduction

The text of Cynthia’s Revels printed in the 1616 folio differs significantly from that published in 1601 in quarto. The most obvious of these changes is the name of the central character. In the quarto, he was ‘Criticus’, but in the folio, ‘Crites’, taking his name from the Greek, not the Latin, word for a judge. The folio also adds a Dedication and frequently alters verbal details. But the most important changes relate to the addition of around a thousand lines, in a series of episodes added into Acts Three, Four, and Five. Four long scenes in a block at the start of Act 5 introduce an entirely new element to the play, Asotus’s attempt to become a master of courtliness by ‘playing a prize’.

A range of explanations has been offered for the status of these passages. Baskervill (1911) and De Vocht (1950) argue that it was material that Jonson had written while the play was taking shape, but which he had decided not to include in the finished text, and which found its way into the folio version thanks to the mistaken zeal of his unscrupulous printers. Herford and Simpson, on the other hand, believe that the folio’s full version represents the play as acted in 1601, but that Jonson prepared a cut version, perhaps for performance at court, which was then printed as the quarto text. They do, however, concede the possibility of minor retouchings post-dating 1601. Berringer (1943) argues that the F1-only material post-dates the composition of the rest of the play, and could have been written at any time up to 1616.

This edition agrees with Berringer in supposing that the F1-only sections should be treated as later additions, a basis for this view being the inconsistencies that they introduce into a previously more coherent text. The events described in the additions are not reflected in the plot summary given in the Praeludium (Q)/Induction (F1), which remains essentially the same in both versions. The dramatis personae of the folio includes Morphides from the additional material, but not the Citizen or the Wife, who also have speaking parts in 5.3, nor any of the minor roles from 5.4. Whereas the quarto goes to some lengths to make an almost plausible timescale, spreading the action across a single day, this is ruined by the addition of the extra material. On a more thematic level, the folio additions make nonsense of the treatment of Asotus in Act Four of the quarto, where the engine is the emblematic rise and fall of Asotus’s wealth. By the end of the act he is penniless, with empty pockets, and being stalked by the beggar: he is already finished as a courtier. Much of the power of this is lost in the folio, which simply gives Asotus a new lease of life, with a new and comically extravagant suit and a new budget. In practical and thematic terms, the F1-only passages are, clearly, additions rather than organic parts of the structure.

Furthermore, there is no trace of the folio material in circulation before 1616. Among the earliest witnesses, the commonplace book of Edward Pudsey (compiled 1600–1613), which extracts numerous lines from the play, indicates no knowledge of the folio, although this is of limited significance since Pudsey seems to have worked from printed quartos (Gowan, 1967). More tellingly, three near-contemporary plays allude intensively to Cynthia’s Revels, imitating speeches and borrowing dialogue: John Marston’s What You Will, performed, probably, in 1601; Dekker’s Satiromastix, performed in 1601; and the anonymous Timon (an Inns-of-Court entertainment datable to c. 1601–2; see Bulman, 1974). De Vocht (1950), 218, offers one weak and doubtful ‘echo’ of the F-only sections within Satiromastix, but aside from this, all the other material imitated in the three plays is from the quarto, even to the extent of using names changed in the folio (Satiromastix, for instance, uses ‘Criticus’). One other claim that the folio material was in circulation before 1616 — the evidence offered by Potts (1954) of a ‘parody’ of an F1 passage in Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida — is too flimsy to be taken seriously: see the note at 3.4.35–6.

Therefore, there is nothing to prove that F1-only material from the play was current in 1601. Yet it is equally difficult to discover decisive evidence that the material does not date from 1601 or before. Berringer (1943) notes that 5.4.499 seems to parody a poem in John Davies of Hereford’s Wit’s Pilgrimage (printed after 1605), but this is of little definite value, especially given the extent of Davies’s manuscript circulation prior to 1605. He also suggests that the folio’s introduction of an allusion to Andromeda (4.1.52) might be read as a reference to Chapman’s Andromeda Liberata (1614), although the connection is tenuous. In other respects, too, there are hints of a Jacobean flavour to some of the additions. ‘Non-entry’ at 5.3.36 appears to be a misuse of a piece of Scottish legal jargon; the same passage describes the crowd control at court entertainments in terms which either reflect or strikingly predict some of Jonson’s experiences in years after 1601 (see 5.3 headnote); and at 5.3.84, Phoebus seems far more powerful than his sister Cynthia, who is hardly mentioned in the folio additions.

An alternative strategy is to consider the revisions introduced into existing scenes, on the supposition that these might be from the same date as the added material. Hints that such revisions significantly post-date 1600 can be found in 1.4, where, as shown in the apparatus to the quarto text, details of fashion are altered and prices are increased; in a possible allusion to ambitious Scottish courtiers (see Q 2.3.36n.); and in the revised Induction, where a reference to Salomon Pavy is removed, as would be necessary in any production after his death in July 1602. But none of this evidence conclusively demonstrates that Jonson could not have written those passages and made those alterations in 1600, and one date-specific reference survives Jonson’s revisions unscathed (see Q Praeludium, 168n., 176n.). Oaths are consistently toned down, in accordance with the 1606 Act to Restrain Abuses, but it is not necessarily the case that this is part of the same ‘layer’ as the other revisions. Then, neither the revisions nor the F1-only sections can be dated with any confidence, other than to say that they were written after 1601 (and, most likely, after 1603), and before their publication in 1616. What is more, because there is no evidence post-1601 of a performance of Cynthia’s Revels, they may have never been performed.

As to the nature of the additions, four sections are in technique and content merely amplifications of what the scene already contains: 3.1 prolongs Amorphus’s advice to Asotus; 3.4 extends the monologue of Criticus/Crites by satirizing more court types; the major additions to 4.1 and 4.3 are both extra party games of the sort already represented in the play by Q 4.3.63–127. But the remaining sections introduce something distinctly new, which reshapes the last two acts: the trial of courtship.

Cynthia’s Revels is already surreal in technique, but this section pushes at the boundaries of fantasy again. Amorphus claims that courtesy is a ‘mystery’ (5.3.73) or art on a footing similar to fencing, with various degrees of initiation; that he, Amorphus, is a master in that art; and that Asotus can reach the rank of master by offering to take on all comers in a prize bout at the four ‘weapons’ of courtship (5.3.74–6 and n.). It is left unclear whether any of this system has any reality within the world of the play, or whether it is all made up by Amorphus. If his statements are lies, it is left equally unclear whether their purpose is to deceive or merely to entertain the other courtiers. No explanation fits all the indications adequately, especially when Mercury produces a certificate that Amorphus appears to recognize as genuine.

As the games are played out, what is revealed is a vision of courtship as a succession of learned movements, indeed as a martial art. Jonson specializes in writing comedy where the speaking characters are not necessarily the ones generating the laughter (Woolland, 1999), of which the long sequence 5.2–4 is an excellent example, with the dialogue merely suggesting the comic gestures of the combatants, and the equally comic tensions and undercurrents among the spectators. In terms of staging, the courtship test offers several challenges. First, there are indications that its location is in some way unusual: a ‘long gallery’ (4.5.70), and a ‘fair gallery’ (5.3.78–9) with a ‘wall’ (5.3.92). How is this change of scene in the world of the play translated into staging practice? Secondly, 5.4 has eighteen speaking parts, and even if Mercury and Crites double as Morphides and the Citizen, it still requires sixteen actors. It would therefore need the full resources of the acting company. For comparison, Act 5 of Q requires sixteen speaking characters (seventeen if Hesperus is not doubled) and three mutes.

The key to the 5.1–4 sequence is the careful management of pace, with a series of comic climaxes each of which must cap what has come before. First, Amorphus and Asotus are at the centre of the action – and Asotus is dressed in a new and extravagant costume reserved for this moment – and of the contest, two rounds of the ‘bare accost’ (5.3.75). In each of these, Amorphus must show off some ridiculously smooth manners, as a foil for Asotus’s two sets of very physical pratfalls. But then, Amorphus and Mercury have two further bouts of this skill. Each time Amorphus must produce a more excessive version of what he has already done, and each time Mercury must top it with something more extravagant still. In all, the audience will have seen eight versions of the ‘bare accost’: two of comic ineptitude, and six of increasingly ludicrous sophistication. But then the competition escalates into the second ‘weapon’ between Mercury and Amorphus, the ‘better regard’, with four more performances, each overtopping the one before in length, silliness, and physicality. By now, the audience is aware that, under the rules of the contest, they can expect two more weapons. But Jonson then leaves this expectation hanging for almost a hundred lines during which the two men get ready, so that, throughout this sequence, in the style of a Renaissance banquet, each offering is exceeded by the one which follows it. Asotus’s splendid costume, for instance, must look plain next to whatever Amorphus and Mercury end up wearing, bedecked with jewels, feathers, and dangerous quantities of perfume. Finally, the contest resumes, and the four performances of the ‘solemn address’ to Philautia must each in turn exceed the previous one, as the duel becomes, in effect, an onstage wrestling match, before its surprising twist as the last ‘weapon’ turns into a walkover. Then Crites takes over and demonstrates, finally, a performance more outrageous and transgressive than anything that has gone before. All the while, the onstage audience have the challenge of steadily raising the sense of growing momentum which should be transmitted to the real audience.

And the pace and excitement of this sequence constitutes another problem with the play as presented in the folio. In any performance, the masque for Cynthia has to exceed the splendour of anything the audience has seen so far and the rest of the play in terms of comic energy. In the quarto, the masque is the first time we have seen the characters in special costumes, and the first time they engage in strenuous physical activity, with obvious possibilities to break new comic ground. For instance, Amorphus’s dancing can be comically elaborate (and is indeed alluded to at 5.5.1–3), and Asotus’s can be hilariously inept. But the problem with the folio is that we reach this masque only after a long and exhausting sequence in which the actors have already been required to pull out all the stops. It is hard to see how a production could keep enough in reserve – in terms not just of costume, but of surprises and energy – to top the trial of courtship sequence.

As well as disrupting the climax, the additions completely alter the sense of the ending of the play. In the folio, 5.1 radically changes the balance of power within Cynthia’s Revels, offering Crites something that Criticus does not attain until the climax of the play, namely, personal contact with and patronage from a god. Once Crites has such a cast-iron guarantee that he will succeed, much of the tension of the play starts to disappear. Mercury also gives Crites a theory of reformation through destructive satire — ‘to correct, / And punish, with our laughter’ (5.1.17–18) — quite different from the more constructive reformation through masque pursued by Criticus. For Crites, the masque is not the pivotal episode: the trial of courtship is.

In the course of the folio’s 5.4, Crites gains complete ascendancy over the four male courtiers and drives them out of their humours. Amorphus, the expert in sophistication, is humiliated by Mercury’s outwitting of him in the contest to win Phantaste; Hedon and Anaides, the experts in mockery, are mocked to their faces by Crites and have no reply; and Asotus is so disgusted with the courtiers that he leaves, symbolically accompanying his citizen sister back to the world from which he came. The four female courtiers are also, in different ways, driven out of their humours. Argurion is already gone, to be succeeded (and perhaps doubled) by Asotus’s sister. (From this point of view the folio is rather tidier than the quarto, where Argurion is replaced by Gelaia for Act 5; the folio additions find no place for Gelaia at all, and write her out, pairing Anaides with her mother Moria.) Philautia is humilated in Crites’s parody of Hedon’s praise of her, and Moria in Crites’s parody of Anaides’s flirtation with her. Most interesting is the fate of Phantaste, since the only direct attention she receives is a vigorous burst of kissing from Mercury, which renders her mute for the rest of the scene. Allegorically this might represent the mastering of undisciplined fantasy by proper Mercurial poetic creativity, but it would also be highly effective comic theatre.

In fact, the folio additions to Act 5 constitute an almost complete ending of the play in themselves. For the reader of the folio, there is a noticeably bad join at the conclusion of 5.4, where the end of the additions is followed by what had been 4.6 in the quarto and then Act 5. The most directly comparable reading experience, perhaps, is the jolt in Sidney’s New Arcadia where the unrevised Books 4 and 5 are attached to the unfinished revision of Book 3. In Cynthia’s Revels as in The New Arcadia, it is almost as if the plot goes backwards at this transition. For example, it seems absurd for Crites to start to pray to Mercury (5.5.65) when he has been on stage talking with him in an ‘ironical confederacy’ (5.1.29) until seventy lines earlier. And Crites is not in fact getting the fools to ‘muster in their pomp and fullness’ (5.5.44), since he has already comprehensively deflated that pomp himself. The structural problem with the Act 5 additions is that they themselves should constitute the culmination of the play.

Perhaps, then, the folio additions should be considered as an unfinished revision of the whole ending, with F1 5.1–4 intended as a substitute for, rather than a supplement to, the quarto masques. A tantalizingly workable text could be produced from F1 by cutting everything between 5.4.507 (where Mercury, left alone on stage with Crites, tells him that the fools will have seen the error of their ways) and the entry of the procession of fools in the Palinode, which proves him right. Such a hypothetical version omits Cynthia altogether; leaves some trifling loose ends around the minor characters, including Arete and the pages, which would not need dialogue to resolve them; and more serious unfinished business around Cupid and the water of self-love. Such a version, therefore, regrettably, remains incomplete. While one can be reasonably certain that the folio changes are later additions, the problems of when, and in what circumstances, they were written, and of how, exactly, they made up a whole play, remain intractable.

What is incontestable is that the folio as a whole, because of its extra material, is a long, unwieldy, and not entirely satisfying play. The folio text certainly fits with the whole 1616 folio’s wider programme of presenting Jonson as a formidably learned, copious, and satirical writer. Those pursuing Jonson for pleasure may prefer the more economical, and better-shaped, quarto version of the play; but in the trial of courtship, an unusually extended and ambitious scene of ensemble comic playing, the folio incorporates one of the most intriguing dramatic fragments in the Jonson canon.

The text edited here contains material that is unique to the folio along with passages that have been heavily revised, specifically the dedicatory letter, 3.1, 3.4, and Acts 4 and 5 in their entirety. Collation notes record variant readings in the unrevised 1601 quarto (a full edited text of which appears in volume 1). In the commentary on these revised folio scenes, cross-references to Acts 1–3 use the line numbers of the quarto (without further identification); cross-references to Acts 4 and 5 are to the line numbers of this edition of the folio, unless otherwise stated.

 

Dedication

 TO THE SPECIAL FOUNTAIN OF MANNERS:

THE COURT

Thou art a bountiful and brave  spring, and waterest all the noble plants of

this island. In thee, the whole kingdom dresseth itself, and is ambitious to

use thee as her  glass. Beware, then, thou render men’s figures truly, and teach

them no less to hate their deformities than to love their forms; for,  to grace

there should come reverence; and no man can call that lovely which is  not 5

also venerable. It is not powdering, perfuming, and every day smelling of

the tailor that  converteth to a beautiful object, but a mind, shining through

any suit, which needs no  false light either of riches or honours to help it.

Such shalt thou find some here, even in the reign of  Cynthia (a Crites, and an

Arete).  Now, under thy Phoebus, it will be thy province to make more; except 10

thou desirest to have thy source mix with the Spring of Self-Love, and so wilt

draw upon thee as welcome a discovery of thy days as was then made of her

nights.

Thy  servant, but not slave,

Ben Jonson. 15

3.1  [Enter] AMORPHUS [and] ASOTUS.

AMORPHUS

Sir, let not this discountenance or  disgallant you a whit; you must

not sink under the first disaster. It is with your young  grammatical courtier, as

with your  neophyte  player, a thing usual to be daunted at the first presence or

  interview. You saw there was Hedon and Anaides, far more practised gallants

than yourself, who were both  out, to comfort you. It is no disgrace, no more 5

than for your adventurous reveller to fall by some inauspicious chance

in his galliard, or for some subtle  politic to undertake the  bastinado, that the

state might think worthily of him and respect him as a man well  beaten to

the world. What, hath your tailor provided the  property we spake of at your

chamber, or no? 10

ASOTUS

I think he has.

AMORPHUS

Nay, I entreat you, be not so flat, and melancholic.  Erect your mind.

You shall redeem this with the  courtship I will teach you  against afternoon.

Where eat you today?

ASOTUS

Where you please, sir, anywhere, I. 15

AMORPHUS

Come, let us go and taste some light dinner, a dish of sliced  caviar,

or so, and after you shall practise an hour at your lodging some few forms

that I have  recalled. If you had but so far gathered your spirits to you as to

have taken up a  rush, when you were out, and wagged it thus [Demonstrating]

or cleansed your teeth with it, or but turned aside and feigned some  business 20

to whisper with your page till you had recovered yourself, or but found some

slight stain in your stocking, or any other pretty invention, so it had been

sudden, you might have come off with a most clear and courtly grace.

ASOTUS

A poison of all, I think I was  forspoke, I.

AMORPHUS

No,  I must tell you, you are not audacious enough. You must frequent 25

 ordinaries a month more, to initiate yourself, in which time it will not

be amiss if, in private, you keep good your acquaintance with Crites, or some

other  of his poor coat; visit his lodging secretly and often; become an earnest

suitor to hear some of his labours.

ASOTUS

Oh, Jove, sir! I could never get him to read a line to me. 30

AMORPHUS

You must then wisely mix yourself in rank with such as you know

can, and as your ears do meet with a new phrase or an acute jest, take it in.

A quick nimble memory will lift it away, and, at your next public meal,  it is

your own.

ASOTUS

But I shall never utter it perfectly, sir. 35

AMORPHUS

No matter, let it come lame. In ordinary talk you shall play it away,

as you do your  light crowns at  primero; it will pass.

ASOTUS

I shall attempt, sir.

AMORPHUS

Do. It is your  shifting age for wit, and I assure you, men must be

prudent. After this, you may to court, and there fall in, first with the waiting- 40

woman, then with the lady.  Put case they do retain you there as a fit  property

to hire coaches some pair of months or so, or to read them asleep in afternoons

upon some pretty pamphlet, to  breathe you; why, it shall in time embolden

you to some farther achievement. In the interim, you may fashion yourself

to be careless and  impudent. 45

ASOTUS

How if they would have me to make verses? I heard Hedon spoke to for

some.

AMORPHUS

Why, you must prove the aptitude of your genius. If you find none,

you must  hearken out a  vein, and buy, provided you  pay for the silence as for

the work. Then you may securely call it your own. 50

ASOTUS

Yes, and I’ll  give out my acquaintance with all the best writers, to

 countenance me the more.

AMORPHUS

Rather seem not to know ’em, it is  your best. Ay. Be wise that you

never so much as mention the name of one, nor remember it mentioned; but

if they be offered to you in discourse, shake your light head, make between 55

a sad and a smiling face [Demonstrating], pity some, rail at all, and commend

yourself: ’tis your only safe and unsuspected course. Come, you shall look

back upon the court again today, and be restored to your  colours. I do  now

partly aim at the cause  of your repulse – which was ominous indeed – for

as you enter at the door, there is opposed to you the  frame of a wolf in the 60

 hangings, which,  surprising your eye suddenly, gave a false alarm to the

heart; and that was it called your blood out of your face, and so  routed the

whole rank of your spirits. I beseech you labour to forget it.  And remember,

as I inculcated to you before, for your comfort, Hedon and Anaides. [Exeunt.]

3.4   [Enter] ARETE [and] CRITES.

ARETE

What, Crites! Where have you  drawn forth the day?

You have not visited your  jealous friends?

CRITES

Where I have seen, most honoured Arete,

The strangest pageant, fashioned like a court–

At least I dreamt I saw it– so  diffused, 5

So painted, pied, and full of rainbow  strains,

As never yet, either by time, or place,

Was made the food to my  distasted sense;

Nor can my weak imperfect memory

Now render half the forms unto my tongue 10

That were  convolved within  this  thrifty room.

Here  stalks  me by a proud and  spangled sir

That looks three  handfuls higher than his  foretop;

Savours himself alone, is only kind

And loving to himself; one that will speak 15

More  dark and doubtful than six oracles;

Salutes a friend as if he had  a stitch,

Is his own  chronicle, and scarce can eat

For  regist’ring himself; is waited on

By  mimics, jesters,  panders,  parasites, 20

And other such like prodigies of men.

 He past,  appears some  mincing  marmoset

Made all of clothes and face; his limbs so set

As if they had some voluntary  act

Without man’s  motion, and must move just so 25

In spite of their creation; one that weighs

His breath between his teeth, and dares not smile

Beyond a point, for fear  t’unstarch his look;

Hath travelled to  make legs, and seen the  cringe

Of several courts and courtiers; knows the time 30

Of giving titles and of  taking walls;

Hath read  court commonplaces; made them his;

Studied the grammar of state, and all the rules

Each formal  usher in that politic school

 Can teach a man. A third comes giving nods 35

To his repenting creditors, protests

To weeping suitors, takes the coming gold

Of insolent and base  ambition,

That hourly rubs his dry and  itchy palms;

 Which gripped, like burning coals, he hurls away 40

Into the laps of bawds and  buffoons’ mouths.

With him there  meets some subtle  Proteus, one

Can change and vary with all forms he sees;

Be anything but honest,  serves the time,

Hovers betwixt two factions, and explores 45

The drifts of both; which, with  cross face, he bears

To the divided  heads, and is received

 With mutual grace of either; one that dares

Do deeds worthy the  hurdle or the  wheel,

To be thought somebody; and is, in sooth, 50

Such as the satirist points truly forth,

 That only to his crimes owes all his worth.

ARETE

You tell us wonders, Crites.

CRITES

 This is nothing.

There stands a neophyte  glazing of his face,

  Pruning his clothes, perfuming of his hair 55

 Against  his idol enters, and repeats,

 Like an unperfect prologue, at third music,

His part of speeches and  confederate jests

 In passion to himself. Another swears

His scene of courtship over;  bids, believe him, 60

Twenty times, ere they will; anon, doth seem

As he would  kiss away his hand in kindness.

 Then walks  off melancholic, and stands  wreathed,

As he were pinned up to the arras, thus.

A third is most in action,  swims and frisks, 65

 Plays with his mistress’ paps, salutes her  pumps,

Adores her hems, her skirts, her  knots, her curls,

Will spend his  patrimony for a garter,

Or the least feather in her bounteous fan.

A fourth, he only comes in for a mute, 70

 Divides the act with a dumb show, and exit.

Then must the ladies laugh, straight comes their scene,

A  six times worse confusion than the rest.

Where you shall hear one talk of this man’s eye,

Another of his lip, a third his nose; 75

A fourth commend his leg, a fifth his foot,

A sixth his hand, and everyone a limb,

That you would think the poor distorted gallant

Must there expire. Then fall they in discourse

Of  tires and fashions; how they must  take place, 80

Where they may kiss, and whom; when to sit down,

And with what grace to rise; if they salute,

What courtesy they must use; such  cobweb stuff

As would enforce the common’st sense abhor

Th’ Arachnean workers.

ARETE

Patience,  gentle Crites. 85

This knot of spiders will be soon dissolved,

And all their webs swept out of Cynthia’s court,

When once her glorious deity appears,

And but presents itself in her full light.

Till when, go in, and spend your hours with us 90

Your honoured friends,  Timè and Phronesis,

In contemplation of our goddess’  name.

Think on some sweet and choice  invention now,

Worthy her serious and  illustrous eyes,

That from the merit of it we may take 95

Desired occasion to prefer your worth,

And make your service known to Cynthia.

It is the pride of Arete to grace

Her studious lovers; and, in scorn of time,

Envy, and ignorance, to lift their state 100

Above a vulgar height. True happiness

Consists not in the multitude of friends,

But in the worth and choice. Nor would I have

Virtue a popular  regard pursue;

Let them be good that love me, though but few. 105

CRITES

I kiss thy hands, divinest Arete,

And vow myself to thee and Cynthia.   [Exeunt.]

4.1     [Enter] PHANTASTE, PHILAUTIA, ARGURION, MORIA, [and] CUPID.

PHANTASTE

 I would this water would arrive once our  travelling friend so

commended to us.

ARGURION

So would I, for he has left all us in  travail with expectation of it.

PHANTASTE

Pray Jove I never rise from this couch if ever I thirsted more for a

thing in my whole time of being a  courtier. 5

PHILAUTIA

Nor I, I’ll be sworn; the very mention of it sets my lips in a worse

heat than if he had  sprinkled them with mercury. Reach me the glass, sirrah.

CUPID

Here, lady.

MORIA

 They do not peel, sweet  charge, do they?

PHILAUTIA

Yes, a little, guardian. 10

MORIA

Oh, ’tis  an eminent good sign. Ever when my lips do so, I am sure to have

some delicious good drink or other approaching.

ARGURION

Marry, and this may be good for us ladies: for, it seems, ’tis  far-fet  by

their stay.

MORIA

My  palate for yours, dear Honour, it shall prove most elegant, I warrant 15

you; oh, I do fancy this  gear that’s long a-coming, with an unmeasurable

strain.

PHANTASTE

Pray thee sit down, Philautia; that    rebato becomes thee singularly.

PHILAUTIA

Is’t not quaint?

PHANTASTE

Yes, faith. Methinks thy servant Hedon is nothing so obsequious to 20

thee as he was wont to be; I know not how, he’s  grown out of his garb  alate,

he’s warped.

MORIA

In trueness, and so methinks too; he’s much  converted.

PHILAUTIA

Tut, let him be what he will;  ’tis an animal I dream not of. This tire,

methinks, makes me look very    ingeniously, quick, and spirited; I should be 25

some  Laura or some  Delia, methinks.

MORIA

As I am wise, fair honours, that title  she gave him, to be her Ambition,

spoiled him: before, he was the most propitious and observant young

novice —

PHANTASTE

No, no, you are the whole heaven awry, guardian;  ’tis the swaggering 30

  coach-horse Anaides  draws with him there has been the diverter

of him.

PHILAUTIA

For Cupid’s sake, speak no more of him; would I might never dare to

look in a mirror again if I respect e’er a marmoset of  ’em all, otherwise than I

would a feather or my shuttlecock, to make sport with now and then. 35

PHANTASTE

Come sit down; troth, an you be good beauties, let’s  run over’em

all now. Which is the  properest man amongst them? I say the  traveller,

Amorphus.

[They look at pictures of the male courtiers.]

PHILAUTIA

Oh, fie on him; he looks like a   Venetian trumpeter i’the  battle of

Lepanto in the gallery yonder; and speaks to the tune of a country lady that 40

 comes ever i’the rearward or train of a fashion.

MORIA

I should have judgement in a feature, sweet beauties.

PHANTASTE

A body would think so, at these years.

MORIA

And I prefer another now, far before him, a million at least.

PHANTASTE

Who might that be, guardian? 45

MORIA

Marry, fair charge, Anaides.

PHANTASTE

Anaides! You talked of a tune, Philautia; there’s one speaks  in a key,

like the opening of some justice’s gate or a  post-boy’s horn, as if his voice

feared an arrest for some ill words it should give and were loath to come

forth. 50

PHILAUTIA

Ay, and he has a very imperfect face.

PHANTASTE

Like a  sea-monster that were to ravish  Andromeda from the rock.

PHILAUTIA

His hand’s too great, too, by at least a straw’s breadth.

PHANTASTE

Nay, he has a worse fault than that, too.

PHILAUTIA

A long heel? 55

PHANTASTE

That were a fault in a lady rather than him. No,  they say he puts off

the calves of his legs with his stockings every night.

PHILAUTIA

Out upon him! Turn to another of the  pictures, for  love’s sake. What

says Argurion? Whom does she commend afore the rest?

CUPID

  [Aside] I hope I have instructed her sufficiently for an answer. 60

MORIA

Troth,   I made the motion to her ladyship for one today, i’the presence,

but it appeared she was other ways furnished before; she would none.

PHANTASTE

Who was that, Argurion?

MORIA

Marry, the   poor, plain gentleman, i’the black,  there.

PHANTASTE

Who, Crites? 65

ARGURION

Ay, ay, he. A fellow that nobody so much as looked upon, or regarded,

and she would have had me done him particular grace.

PHANTASTE

That was a true trick of yourself, Moria, to  persuade Argurion  to

affect the scholar.

ARGURION

Tut, but she shall be no chooser for me. In good faith, I like the 70

citizen’s son there, Asotus; methinks none of them all come near him.

PHANTASTE

Not Hedon?

ARGURION

Hedon, in troth, no. Hedon’s a pretty slight courtier, and he wears

his clothes well, and sometimes in fashion; marry, his face is but indifferent,

and he has no such excellent body. No, th’other is a most delicate youth, a 75

sweet face, a straight body, a well-proportioned leg and foot, a  white hand, a

tender voice.

PHILAUTIA

How now, Argurion?

PHANTASTE

Oh, you should have let her alone, she was bestowing a  copy of him

upon us.  Such a nose were enough to make me love a man, now. 80

PHILAUTIA

And then his several colours he wears, wherein he flourisheth

changeably every day.

PHANTASTE

Oh,   but his short hair and his narrow eyes!

PHILAUTIA

Why, she dotes more palpably upon him than e’er his father did

upon her. 85

PHANTASTE

Believe me,  the young gentleman deserves it. If she could dote more,

’twere not amiss. He is an exceeding proper youth, and would have made a

most neat  barber-surgeon, if he had been put to it in time.

PHILAUTIA

Say you so? Methinks he looks like a tailor already.

PHANTASTE

Ay, that had  sayed on one of his customers’ suits.  His face is like a 90

 squeezed orange, or —

ARGURION

Well, ladies, jest on; the best of you both would be glad of such a

 servant.

MORIA

Ay, I’ll be sworn would they,  though he be a little shame-faced.

PHANTASTE

Shame-faced, Moria! Out upon him. Your shame-faced servant 95

is your only gull.

MORIA

Go to, beauties, make much of time, and  place, and occasion, and opportunity,

and favourites, and things that belong to ’em, for I’ll  ensure you they

will all  relinquish, they cannot endure above another year. I know it out of

 future experience, and therefore take  exhibition and warning: I was once 100

a reveller myself, and though I speak it, as mine own trumpet, I was then

esteemed —

PHILAUTIA

The very  marchpane of the court, I warrant  you!

PHANTASTE

And all the gallants came about you like flies, did they not?

MORIA

Go to, they did somewhat, that’s no matter now. 105

PHANTASTE

   Nay, good Moria, be not angry. Put case that we four now had the

grant from  Juno to wish ourselves into what happy estate we could. What

would you wish to be, Moria?

MORIA

Who, I? Let me see now. I would wish to be a  wise-woman, and know all the

secrets of court, city, and country. I would know what were done behind the 110

arras, what upon the stairs, what i’the garden, what i’the nymphs’ chamber,

what by barge, and what  by coach. I would tell you which courtier were

 scabbed and which not;  which lady had her own face to lie with her a-nights

and which not; who put off their teeth with their clothes in court, who their

hair, who their complexion; and in which box they put it.  There should not 115

a nymph, or a widow be got with child i’the  verge, but I would guess, within

one or two, who was the right father, and in what month it was gotten,

with what words, and which way. I would tell you which madam loved a

monsieur, which a player, which a page; who slept with her husband, who

with her  friend, who with her gentleman-usher, who with her horse-keeper, 120

who with her monkey, and who with all. Yes, and who  jigged the cock too.

PHANTASTE

Fie, you’d tell all, Moria! If I should wish now, it should be to have

your tongue out. But what says Philautia? Who would she be?

PHILAUTIA

Troth, the very same I am. Only I would wish myself a little more

command and sovereignty; that all the court were subject to my absolute 125

 beck, and all things in it depending on my look; as if there were no other

heaven but in my smile, nor other hell but in my frown; that I might send for

any man I list, and have his head cut off when I  have done with him, or made

an eunuch if he denied me; and if I saw a better face than mine own, I might

have my doctor to  poison it. What would you wish, Phantaste? 130

PHANTASTE

Faith, I cannot readily tell you what, but methinks I should wish

myself all manner of creatures. Now I would be an empress, and by and by a

duchess; then a great lady of state; then one of your  miscellany madams;

then a waiting-woman; then your citizen’s wife; then a coarse country

gentlewoman; then a dairy-maid; then a shepherd’s lass; then an empress 135

again, or the queen of fairies; and thus I would prove the vicissitudes and

whirl of pleasures about and again. As I were a shepherdess, I would be

piped and sung to; as a  dairy-wench, I would dance at maypoles, and make

 syllabubs; as a country gentlewoman, keep a good house, and come  up to term

to see motions; as a citizen’s wife, be troubled with a jealous husband, and put 140

to my  shifts —  others’ miseries should be my pleasures; as a waiting-woman,

I would  taste my lady’s delights to her; as a miscellany madam, invent new

 tires, and go visit courtiers; as a great lady, lie abed, and have courtiers visit

me; as a duchess, I would keep my state; and as an empress, I’d do anything.

And, in all these  shapes, I would ever be followed with th’affections of all 145

that see me. Marry, I myself would affect none; or if I did, it should not be

heartily, but so as  I might save myself in ’em still, and take pride in tor- menting

the poor wretches. Or, now I think on’t, I would for one year wish

myself one woman, but the richest, fairest, and delicatest in a kingdom, the

very  centre of wealth and beauty, wherein all lines of love should meet; and 150

in that person I would  prove all manner of suitors, of all humours, and of

all  complexions, and never have any two of a sort. I would see how love, by

the power of his  object, could work inwardly alike in a  choleric man and a

sanguine, in a melancholic and a phlegmatic, in a fool and a wise-man, in a

clown and a courtier, in a valiant man and a coward; and  how he could vary 155

outward, by letting this  gallant express himself in dumb gaze; another with

sighing and rubbing his fingers; a third with  play-ends and pitiful verses;

a fourth with  stabbing himself and drinking healths, or writing languishing

letters in his blood; a fifth in  coloured  ribbons and good clothes; with this

lord to smile, and that lord to court, and the t’other lord to dote, and one lord 160

to hang himself. And, then, I to have a book made of all this, which I would

call the ‘Book of Humours’, and every night read a little piece ere I slept, and

laugh at it. Here comes Hedon.

4.2     [Enter] HEDON, ANAIDES, [and] MERCURY.

HEDON

Save you, sweet and clear beauties! By the  spirit that moves in me, you

are all most pleasingly bestowed, ladies. Only I can take it for no good omen

to find mine Honour so dejected.

PHILAUTIA

You need not fear, sir; I did of purpose humble myself against your

coming, to decline the pride of my Ambition. 5

HEDON

Fair Honour, Ambition dares not stoop; but if it be your sweet pleasure

I shall lose that title, I will, as I am Hedon, apply myself to your bounties.

PHILAUTIA

That were the next way to  distitle myself of honour. Oh, no, rather

be still ambitious, I pray you.

HEDON

I will be anything that you please whilst it pleaseth you to be yourself, 10

lady. Sweet Phantaste, dear Moria, most beautiful Argurion —

ANAIDES

Farewell, Hedon.

HEDON

Anaides, stay! Whither go you?

ANAIDES

’Slight, what should I do here? An you  engross ’em all for your own

use, ’tis time for me to  seek out. 15

HEDON

I, engross ’em? Away, mischief, this is one of your extravagant jests now,

because I began to salute ’em by their names —

ANAIDES

Faith, you might have spared us Madam  Prudence, the guardian there,

though you had more covetously aimed at the rest.

HEDON

’Sheart, take ’em all, man! What speak you to me of aiming or covetous? 20

ANAIDES

Ay, say you so? Nay, then,  have at ’em; ladies, here’s one hath distinguished

you by your names already; it shall only become me to ask, ‘how you

do?’

HEDON

God’s so, was this the design you  travailed with?

PHANTASTE

Who answers the  brazen head? It spoke to somebody. 25

ANAIDES

Lady Wisdom, do you  interpret for these puppets?

MORIA

In  truth and sadness, honours, you are in great offence for this. Go to!

The gentleman (I’ll undertake with him) is a man of fair living, and able

to maintain a lady in her two   caroches a day, besides pages, monkeys, and

 paraquitos, with such attendants as she shall think meet for her turn; and 30

therefore there is more respect requirable, howsoe’er you seem to  connive.

Hark you, sir, let me discourse a syllable with you. I am to say to you, these

ladies are not of that   close and open behaviour, as  happily you may  suspend;

their carriage is well known to be such as it should be, both gentle and

extraordinary. 35

  MERCURY

Oh, here comes the other pair.

4.3     [Enter] AMORPHUS [and] ASOTUS.

AMORPHUS

That was your father’s love, the nymph Argurion. I would have

you direct all your courtship thither; if you could but endear yourself to her

affection, you were eternally  engallanted.

ASOTUS

In truth, sir? Pray Phoebus I prove  favoursome in her fair eyes.

AMORPHUS

All divine mixture and increase of beauty to this bright  bevy of 5

ladies; and to the male courtiers, compliment and courtesy.

HEDON

In the behalf of the males, I  gratify you, Amorphus.

PHANTASTE

And I of the females.

AMORPHUS

Succinctly  returned: I do  vail to both your thanks and kiss them;

but primarily  to yours, most ingenious, acute, and polite lady. 10

PHILAUTIA

God’s my life, how he does  all to  bequalify her! Ingenious, acute,

and polite? As if there were not others in place as ingenious, acute, and polite

as she!

HEDON

Yes, but you must know, lady, he cannot speak  out of a  dictionary

method. 15

PHANTASTE

Sit down, sweet Amorphus. When will this water come, think you?

AMORPHUS

It cannot now be long, fair lady.

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Now observe, Mercury.

ASOTUS

 [To Argurion] How, most  ambiguous beauty, love you? That I will,  by this

 handkerchief. 20

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] ’Slid, he draws his oaths out of his pocket.

ARGURION

But will you be constant?

ASOTUS

Constant, madam? I will not say for constantness, but by this purse —

which I would be loath to swear by unless ’twere embroidered — ‘I protest,

more than most fair lady, you are the only absolute and unparalleled creature 25

I do adore, and admire, and respect, and reverence in this court, corner of the

world, or kingdom; methinks you are melancholy.’

ARGURION

Does your heart speak all this?

ASOTUS

 Say you?

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Oh, he is groping for another oath. 30

ASOTUS

Now,  by this watch — I  mar’l how  forward the day is — I do unfeignedly

vow myself — ’slight, ’tis  deeper than I took it,  past five — yours entirely

 addicted, madam.

ARGURION

I require no more dearest Asotus, henceforth let me call you mine;

and in remembrance of me, vouchsafe to wear this chain and this diamond. 35

ASOTUS

Oh, God, sweet lady.

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] There are new oaths for him. What, doth Hermes taste

no alteration in all this?

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Yes, thou hast  struck Argurion enamoured on Asotus,

methinks? 40

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Alas, no; I am nobody, I; I can do nothing in  this disguise.

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] But thou hast not wounded any of the rest, Cupid?

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Not yet; it is enough that I have begun so prosperously.

ARGURION

 Nay, these are nothing to the gems I will hourly bestow upon thee;

be but faithful and kind to me and I will  lade thee with my richest bounties. 45

Behold, here my bracelets from mine arms.

ASOTUS

Not so, good lady, by this  diamond.

ARGURION

Take ’em; wear ’em; my jewels, chain of  pearl, pendants, all I have.

ASOTUS

Nay, then, by this pearl, you make me  a wanton.

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Shall not she answer for this to maintain him thus in 50

swearing?

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Oh, no, there is a way to wean him from this; the

gentleman may be reclaimed.

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Ay,  if you had the airing of his apparel,  coz, I think.

ASOTUS

 Loving? ’Twere pity I should be living else, believe me. 55

Save you, sir; save you, sweet lady; save you, Monsieur Anaides; save you, dear madam.

ANAIDES

Dost thou know him that saluted thee, Hedon?

HEDON

No, some idle  fungoso,  that hath got  above the cupboard since yesterday.

ANAIDES

’Slud, I never saw him till this morning, and he salutes me as familiarly

as if we had known together since   the deluge or the  first year of Troy-action. 60

AMORPHUS

A most  right-handed and auspicious encounter. Confine yourself to

your fortunes.

PHILAUTIA

For  sport’s sake, let’s have some riddles or  purposes,  ho!

PHANTASTE

No, faith, your  prophecies are best, the t’other are stale.

PHILAUTIA

Prophecies? We cannot all sit in at them; we shall make a confusion. 65

No, what called you that we had in the forenoon?

PHANTASTE

 Substantives and adjectives. Is’t not, Hedon?

PHILAUTIA

Ay that, who begins?

PHANTASTE

I have thought; speak your adjectives,  sirs.

PHILAUTIA

But  do not you change, then. 70

PHANTASTE

Not I, who says?

MORIA

Odoriferous.

PHILAUTIA

Popular.

ARGURION

Humble.

ANAIDES

White-livered. 75

HEDON

Barbarous.

AMORPHUS

Pythagorical.

HEDON

Yours, signor.

ASOTUS

What must I do, sir?

AMORPHUS

Give forth your adjective with the rest; as prosperous, good, fair, 80

sweet, well —

HEDON

Anything that hath not been spoken.

ASOTUS

Yes, sir,  ‘well-spoken’ shall be mine.

PHANTASTE

What, ha’ you all done?

ALL

Ay. 85

PHANTASTE

Then the substantive is ‘breeches’. Why odoriferous breeches,

guardian?

MORIA

Odoriferous, because odoriferous: that which contains most variety of

savour, and smell, we say is most odoriferous; now, breeches I presume are

 incident to that variety, and therefore, odoriferous breeches. 90

PHANTASTE

Well, we must take it howsoever. Who’s next? Philautia.

PHILAUTIA

 Popular.

PHANTASTE

Why popular breeches?

PHILAUTIA

Marry, that is when they are not content to be generally noted in

court, but will press forth on  common stages and  brokers’ stalls to the public 95

view of the world.

PHANTASTE

Good. Why humble breeches, Argurion?

ARGURION

Humble, because they use to be sat upon; besides if you tie ’em not

up, their property is to fall down about your heels.

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid]  She has worn the breeches, it seems, which have done 100

so.

PHANTASTE

But why  white-livered?

ANAIDES

Why? ’Sheart, are not their linings white? Besides, when they come in

 swaggering company, and will  pocket up anything, may they not properly

be said to be white-livered? 105

PHANTASTE

Oh, yes, we  must not deny it. And why barbarous, Hedon?

HEDON

Barbarous, because commonly when you have worn your breeches

sufficiently  you give them to your barber.

AMORPHUS

That’s good. But now  Pythagorical?

PHANTASTE

Ay, Amorphus, why Pythagorical breeches? 110

AMORPHUS

Oh, most kindly of all, ’tis a conceit of that fortune I am bold to hug

my brain for.

PHANTASTE

How is’t, exquisite Amorphus?

AMORPHUS

Oh, I am rapt with it, ’tis so fit, so proper, so happy —

PHILAUTIA

Nay, do not rack us thus! 115

AMORPHUS

I never truly relished myself before. Give me your ears: breeches

Pythagorical, by reason of their transmigration into several shapes!

MORIA

Most rare, in sweet troth! Marry, this young gentleman, for his well-

spoken —

PHANTASTE

Ay, why well-spoken breeches? 120

ASOTUS

Well-spoken? Marry, well-spoken because —  whatsoever they speak is

well taken, and whatsoever is well taken, is well-spoken.

MORIA

Excellent, believe me!

ASOTUS

Not so, ladies, neither.

HEDON

But why breeches now? 125

PHANTASTE

Breeches,  quasi bear-riches; when a gallant bears all his riches in

his breeches.

AMORPHUS

 Most fortunately etymologized.

PHANTASTE

 Nay, we have another sport afore this, of ‘a thing done and who did

it, etc.’ 130

PHILAUTIA

Ay, good Phantaste, let’s have that. Distribute the places.

PHANTASTE

Why, I imagine a thing done; Hedon thinks who did it; Moria, with

what it was done;

Anaides, where it was done; Argurion, when it was done; Amorphus, for what cause it was done; you, Philautia, what followed upon

the doing of it; and this gentleman, who would have done it better. What? 135

Is’t conceived  about?

ALL

Yes, yes.

PHANTASTE

Then speak you, sir. Who would have done it better?

ASOTUS

How? Does it begin at me?

PHANTASTE

Yes, sir; this  play is called The Crab, it goes backward. 140

ASOTUS

May I not name myself?

PHANTASTE

If you please, sir, and dare  abide the venture of it.

ASOTUS

Then, I would have done it better, whatever it is.

PHANTASTE

No doubt on’t, sir; a good confidence. What followed upon the act,

Philautia? 145

PHILAUTIA

A few  heat-drops, and a month’s mirth.

PHANTASTE

For what cause, Amorphus?

AMORPHUS

For the delight of ladies.

PHANTASTE

When, Argurion?

ARGURION

Last  progress. 150

PHANTASTE

Where, Anaides?

ANAIDES

Why, in a pair of   paned slops.

PHANTASTE

With what, Moria?

MORIA

With a  glyster.

PHANTASTE

Who, Hedon? 155

HEDON

A  traveller.

PHANTASTE

Then, the thing done was, an oration was made. Rehearse. An

oration was made.

HEDON

By a traveller.

MORIA

With a glyster. 160

ANAIDES

In a pair of paned slops.

ARGURION

Last progress.

AMORPHUS

For the delight of ladies.

PHILAUTIA

A few heat-drops, and a month’s mirth followed.

PHANTASTE

 And this silent gentleman would have done it better. 165

ASOTUS

This was not so good, now.

PHILAUTIA

In good faith,  these unhappy pages would be whipped for staying

thus.

MORIA

 Beshrew my hand and my heart else.

AMORPHUS

I do wonder at their protraction! 170

ANAIDES

Pray  Venus,  my whore have not discovered herself to the rascally boys,

and that be the cause of their stay.

ASOTUS

I must suit myself with another page; this idle Prosaites will never be

brought to wait well.

MORIA

Sir, I have a kinsman I could willingly wish to your service, if you would 175

deign to accept of him.

ASOTUS

And I shall be glad, most sweet lady, to embrace him; where is he?

MORIA

I can fetch him, sir, but I would be loath to make you turn away your

other page.

ASOTUS

You shall not, most  sufficient lady, I will keep both: pray you, let’s go 180

see him.

ARGURION

Whither goes my love?

ASOTUS

I’ll return presently; I go but to see a page with this lady.

 [Exeunt Asotus and Moria.]

ANAIDES

As sure as fate, ’tis so; she has opened all; a pox of all  cockatrices. Damn

me if she have played loose with me, I’ll  cut her throat within a hair’s breadth, 185

so it may be healed again.   [Exit.]

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] What, is he jealous of his  hermaphrodite?

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Oh, ay, this will be excellent sport.

PHILAUTIA

Phantaste! Argurion! What? You are suddenly  struck, methinks; for

 love’s sake, let’s have some music till they come. Ambition, reach the  lyra, I 190

pray you.

HEDON

Anything to which my Honour shall direct me.

PHILAUTIA

Come, Amorphus, cheer up Phantaste.

AMORPHUS

It shall be my pride, fair lady, to attempt all that is in my power.

But here is an instrument that alone is able to infuse soul in the most melancholic 195

and dull disposed creature upon earth. Oh, let me kiss thy fair  knees!

Beauteous ears attend it.

HEDON

 Will you have  ‘The Kiss’, Honour?

PHILAUTIA

Ay, good Ambition.

 Song

  HEDON

Oh, that joy so soon should waste! 200

Or so sweet a bliss

As a kiss,

Might not forever last!

So sugared, so melting, so soft, so delicious,

The dew that lies on roses, 205

When the morn herself discloses,

Is not so precious.

Oh, rather than I would it smother,

Were I to taste such another;

It should be my wishing 210

That I might die, kissing.

I made this ditty and  the note to it upon a kiss that my Honour gave me; how

like you it, sir?

AMORPHUS

A pretty air! In general, I like it well. But, in particular, your long

  ‘die’ note did  arride me most, but it was somewhat too long. I can show 215

one almost of the same nature but much before it, and not so long, in a

composition of mine own. I think I have both the note and ditty about me.

HEDON

Pray you, sir, see.

AMORPHUS

[Producing a paper] Yes, there is the note and all the parts, if I misthink

not. I will read the ditty to your beauties here, but first I am to make 220

you familiar with the occasion, which presents itself thus: upon a time,

going to take my leave of the  emperor and kiss his great hands, there being

then present the kings of France and Aragon, the dukes of Savoy, Florence,

 Orleans, Bourbon, Brunswick, the Landgrave, Count Palatine — all which had

severally feasted me — besides infinite more of inferior persons, as  counts and 225

others — it was my chance,  the emperor detained by some  exorbitant affair,

to wait him the fifth part of an hour, or much near it. In which time, retiring

myself into a bay-window,  the beauteous Lady Annabel, niece to the empress

and sister to the king of Aragon, who, having never before eyed me but only

heard the common report of my virtue, learning, and  travel, fell into that 230

extremity of passion for my love that she there immediately  swooned. Physicians

were sent for; she had to her chamber; so to her bed, where languishing

some few days, after many times calling upon me, with my name in her  lips,

she expired. As that, I must  mourningly say, is the only fault of my fortune,

that as it hath ever been my hap to be  sued to by all ladies and beauties where 235

I have come, so, I never yet sojourned or rested in that place or part of the

world where some  high-born admirable fair  feature died not for my love.

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Oh, the sweet power of travel! Are you guilty of this,

Cupid?

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] No, Mercury; and that his page, Cos, knows,  if he were 240

here present to be sworn.

PHILAUTIA

But, how doth this  draw on the ditty, sir?

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Oh, she is too quick with him; he hath not devised that

yet.

AMORPHUS

Marry, some hour before she departed, she bequeathed to me this 245

 glove [Showing the glove], which  golden legacy the emperor himself took care

to send after me, in six coaches, covered all with black  velvet, attended

by the  state of his empire; all which he freely  presented me with, and I

reciprocally — out of the same bounty —  gave to the lords  that brought it; only

 reserving the gift of the deceased lady, upon which I composed this ode, and 250

set it to my most affected instrument, the lyra.

 Song

Thou more than most sweet glove,

Unto my more sweet love,

Suffer me to store with kisses

This empty lodging, that now misses 255

The pure rosy hand that ware thee,

Whiter than the kid that bare thee:

Thou art soft, but that was softer;

Cupid’s self hath kissed it ofter

Than e’er he did his mother’s  doves, 260

Supposing her the Queen of  Love’s,

That was thy mistress,

Best of gloves.

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid]  Blasphemy, blasphemy, Cupid!

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Ay, I’ll revenge it time enough, Hermes. 265

PHILAUTIA

Good Amorphus, let’s hear it sung.

AMORPHUS

 I care not to  admit that, since it pleaseth Philautia to request it.

HEDON

Here, sir.

AMORPHUS

Nay, play it, I pray you; you do well, you do well. [He sings.]

 (After he hath sung) How like you it, sir? 270

HEDON

Very well, in troth.

AMORPHUS

But ‘very well’? Oh, you are a mere  mammothrept in judgement

then! Why, do you not observe how excellently the ditty is  affected in every

place? That I do not marry a word of short  quantity to a long note, nor

an ascending syllable to a descending tone. Besides, upon the word ‘best’ 275

there, you see how I do enter with an odd  minim and drive it  through the

 breve, which no intelligent musician I know but will affirm to be very rare,

extraordinary, and pleasing.

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] And yet not fit to lament the death of a lady, for all this.

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] Tut,  here be they will swallow anything. 280

PHANTASTE

Pray you, let me have a copy of it, Amorphus.

PHILAUTIA

And me too, in troth, I like it exceedingly.

AMORPHUS

I have denied it to princes; nevertheless, to you, the true female

twins of perfection, I am won to  depart withal.

HEDON

I hope I shall have my  Honour’s copy. 285

  PHANTASTE

You are ambitious in that, Hedon.

[Enter ANAIDES,]  who is returned from seeking his page.

AMORPHUS

How now, Anaides? What is it hath conjured up this distemperature

in the  circle of your face?

ANAIDES

 ’Slud, what have you to do? A pox  upo’ your filthy  travelling  face; hold

your tongue. 290

HEDON

Nay, dost hear mischief?

ANAIDES

Away,  musk-cat.

AMORPHUS

I say to thee: thou art rude,  debauched, impudent, coarse,

impolished; a  frapler, and base.

HEDON

[Aside] Heart of my father, what a strange alteration has half a year’s 295

haunting of ordinaries wrought in this fellow! That came with a  tuftaffeta

jerkin to town but  the other day,  and a pair of penniless hose, and now he is

turned  Hercules, he wants but a club!

ANAIDES

Sir,  you with the  pencil on your chin, I will  garter my hose with your

guts and that shall be all. 300   [Exit.]

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] ’Slid, what rare fireworks be here? Flash, flash!

PHANTASTE

What’s the matter, Hedon? Can you tell?

HEDON

Nothing but that  he lacks  crowns, and thinks we’ll lend him some to be

 friends.

ASOTUS returns with MORIA and MORUS.

ASOTUS

Come, sweet lady, in good truth I’ll have it, you shall not deny me. 305

Morus, persuade your aunt I may have her  picture, by any means.

MORUS

Yes, sir. —  Good aunt, now, let him have it; he will use me the better, if

you love me, do, good aunt.

MORIA

Well, tell him he shall have it.

MORUS

Master, you shall have it, she says. 310

ASOTUS

Shall I? Thank her, good page.

CUPID

 [Aside to Mercury] What, has he entertained the  fool?

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Ay, he’ll wait close, you shall see, though the  beggar

hang off,  awhile.

MORUS

Aunt, my master thanks you. 315

MORIA

Call him  hither.

MORUS

Yes. — Master!

MORIA

Yes, in  verity, and gave me this  purse, and he has promised me a most fine

 dog; which he will have drawn with my picture,  he says, and desires most

vehemently to be known to your ladyships. 320

PHANTASTE

Call him hither, ’tis good  groping such a gull.

MORIA

Master Asotus! Master Asotus!

ASOTUS

[To Argurion] For  love’s sake, let me go; you see I am called to the ladies.

ARGURION

Wilt thou forsake me then?

ASOTUS

 God’s so, what would you have me do? 325

MORIA

Come hither, Master Asotus. I do ensure your ladyships he is a gentleman

of a very worthy desert and of a most bountiful nature. You must show and

insinuate yourself responsible and equivalent now to my commendment.

Good honours, grace him.

ASOTUS

‘I  protest, more than most fair ladies, I do wish all variety of divine 330

 pleasures, choice sports, sweet music, rich fare, brave attire, soft beds, and

silken thoughts attend these fair beauties. Will it please your ladyship to

wear this chain of pearl, and this  diamond for my sake?’

ARGURION

Oh!

ASOTUS

And you, madam, this jewel and pendants. 335

ARGURION

 Oh!

PHANTASTE

We know not how to deserve these bounties out of so slight merit,

Asotus.

PHILAUTIA

No, in faith, but there’s my  glove for a favour.

PHANTASTE

And soon after the revels I will bestow a garter on you. 340

ASOTUS

Oh, Lord, ladies! It is more grace than ever I could have hoped, but that

it pleaseth your ladyships to extend. I protest it is enough that you but take

knowledge of my — if your ladyships want embroidered gowns, tires of any

fashion,   rebatoes, jewels, or  carcanets, anything whatsoever, if you vouchsafe

to accept. 345

CUPID

 [Aside to Mercury] And for it they will help you to shoe-ties and devices.

ASOTUS

I cannot  utter myself, dear beauties, but you can conceive —

ARGURION

Oh!

PHANTASTE

Sir, we will acknowledge your service, doubt not; henceforth you

shall be no more Asotus to us but our  goldfinch, and we your cages. 350

ASOTUS

Oh,  Venus, madams! How shall I deserve this? [Aside] If I were but made

acquainted with Hedon now. I’ll try. [To Argurion] Pray you, away.

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] How he prays Money to go away from him!

ASOTUS

Amorphus, a word with you; here’s a watch I would bestow upon you,

pray you make me known to that gallant. 355

AMORPHUS

That I will, sir. Monsieur Hedon, I must entreat you to exchange

knowledge with this gentleman.

HEDON

’Tis a thing, next to the water we expect, I thirst after, sir. Good Monsieur

Asotus.

ASOTUS

Good Monsieur Hedon, I would be glad to be loved of men of your rank 360

and spirit, I protest. Please you to accept this pair of  bracelets, sir, they are

not worth the bestowing —

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Oh, Hercules, how the gentleman purchases! This must

needs bring Argurion to a  consumption.

HEDON

Sir, I shall never stand in the merit of such bounty, I fear. 365

ASOTUS

Oh,  Venus, sir, your acquaintance shall be sufficient. And if at any time

you need my bill or my bond —

ARGURION

Oh, oh!

 Argurion swoons.

AMORPHUS

Help the lady there!

MORIA

God’s dear, Argurion! Madam, how do you? 370

ARGURION

Sick.

PHANTASTE

Have her forth and give her air.

ASOTUS

I come again  straight, ladies.

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Well, I doubt all the  physic he has will scarce recover

her; she’s too far spent. 375

 [Exeunt Asotus, Morus, assisting Argurion.]

4.4   [Enter] ANAIDES, GELAIA, COS, [and] PROSAITES.

PHILAUTIA

Oh, here’s the water come. — Fetch glasses, page.

GELAIA

 Heart of my body, here’s a  coil indeed with your jealous humours.

Nothing but ‘whore’, and ‘bitch’, and all the villainous swaggering names

you can think on! ’Slid, take your bottle and put it in your guts  for me, I’ll

see you  poxed ere I follow you any longer! 5

ANAIDES

Nay, good  punk, sweet  rascal; damn me if I am jealous now.

GELAIA

That’s true indeed, pray let’s go.

MORIA

What’s the matter there?

GELAIA

’Slight, he has me upon  intergatories — nay, my mother shall know how

you use me — where I have been? And why I should stay so long? And how is’t 10

possible? And withal calls me at his pleasure I know not how many cockatrices

and things.

MORIA

In truth and sadness, these are no good   epitaphs, Anaides, to bestow

upon any gentlewoman; and, I’ll  ensure you, if I had known you would have

dealt thus with my daughter, she should never have fancied you so deeply, 15

as she has done. Go to!

ANAIDES

Why, do you hear, Mother Moria?  Heart!

MORIA

Nay, I pray you, sir, do not swear.

ANAIDES

Swear? Why?  ’Sblood, I have sworn afore now, I hope. Both you and your

daughter mistake me. I have not honoured Arete that is held the  worthiest 20

lady in  court (next to Cynthia) with half that observance and respect as I have

done her in private, howsoever outwardly I have carried myself careless and

negligent. Come, you are a foolish punk and know not when you are well

employed. Kiss me. Come on. Do it, I say!

MORIA

Nay, indeed I must confess  she is apt to  misprision.  But I must have you 25

leave it, minion.

 [Enter ASOTUS.]

AMORPHUS

How now, Asotus? How does  the lady?

ASOTUS

Faith, ill. I have left my page with her at her lodging.

HEDON

Oh, here’s the rarest water that ever was tasted; fill him some.

PROSAITES

What! Has my master a new page? 30

MERCURY

Yes, a kinsman of the Lady Moria’s. You must  wait better now or you

are  cashiered, Prosaites.

ANAIDES

Come, gallants, you must pardon my foolish humour. When I am angry

that anything crosses me, I grow impatient  straight. Here, I drink to you.

PHILAUTIA

Oh, that we had five or six bottles more of this liquor. 35

PHANTASTE

Now, I commend your judgement, Amorphus.

[A knock at the door.]

Who’s that knocks? Look, page.

MORIA

Oh, most delicious, a little of this would make Argurion well.

PHANTASTE

Oh, no, give her no cold drink, by any means.

ANAIDES

 ’Sblood, this water is the  spirit of wine, I’ll be hanged else. 40

CUPID

Here’s the Lady Arete, madam.

4.5     [Enter] ARETE.

ARETE

What! At your  bever, gallants?

MORIA

Wilt please Your Ladyship drink? ’Tis of the new fountain water.

ARETE

 Not I, Moria, I thank you.  Gallants, you are for this night free to your

peculiar delights; Cynthia will have no sports; when she is pleased to come

forth, you shall have knowledge. In the meantime, I could wish you did 5

provide for solemn revels, and some unlooked-for device of wit, to entertain

her against she should vouchsafe to grace your pastimes with her presence.

AMORPHUS

What say you to a masque?

HEDON

Nothing better, if the  project were new and rare.

ARETE

Why, I’ll send for Crites and have his advice.  Be you ready in your endeavours. 10

 He shall discharge you of the inventive part.

PHANTASTE

 But will not Your Ladyship stay?

ARETE

Not now, Phantaste.   [Exit.]

PHILAUTIA

Let her go, I pray you. Good Lady Sobriety, I am glad we are rid of

her. 15

PHANTASTE

What a set face the gentlewoman has, as she were still going to a

sacrifice!

PHILAUTIA

Oh, she is the  extraction of a dozen of puritans for a look.

MORIA

Of all nymphs i’the court I cannot  away with her;  ’tis the coarsest thing —

PHILAUTIA

I wonder how Cynthia can affect her so above the rest! Here be they 20

are every way as fair as she, and  a thought fairer, I trow.

PHANTASTE

Ay, and as  ingenious and conceited as she.

MORIA

Ay, and as  politic as she, for all she sets such a  forehead on’t.

PHILAUTIA

 Would I were dead if I would change to be Cynthia.

PHANTASTE

Or I. 25

MORIA

Or I.

AMORPHUS

And there’s her minion Crites! Why his advice more than

Amorphus’? Have  not I  invention  afore him? Learning, to better that invention,

above him? And  infanted with pleasant  travail —

ANAIDES

Death, what talk you of his learning? He understands no more than 30

a schoolboy; I have put him down myself a thousand times, by this air, and

yet I never talked with him but twice in my life. You never saw his like; I

could never get him to argue with me but once, and then because I could not

 construe  an  author I quoted at first sight he went away and laughed at me.

By  Hercules, I scorn him, as I do the  sodden nymph that was here  e’en now, 35

his mistress Arete, and I love myself for nothing else.

HEDON

I wonder the fellow does not hang himself, being thus scorned and

 contemned of us that are held the most accomplished society of gallants!

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] By yourselves, none else.

HEDON

I protest, if I had no music in me, no  courtship, that I were not a reveller 40

and could dance, or had not those excellent qualities that give a man life

and perfection, but a mere poor scholar as he is, I think I should  make some

desperate way with myself; whereas now, would I might never breathe more,

if I do know  that creature in this kingdom with whom I would change.

CUPID

[Aside to Mercury] This is excellent! Well, I must  alter all this soon. 45

MERCURY

[Aside to Cupid] Look you do, Cupid.  The bottles have wrought, it seems.

ASOTUS

 Oh, I am sorry the revels are crossed. I should ha’  tickled it soon. I did

never  appear till then. ’Slid, I am the neatliest-made gallant i’the company

and have the best presence; and my dancing —  well, I know what  our  usher

said to me the last time I was at the  school; would I might have led Philautia 50

in the  measures, an it had been the gods’ will. I am most worthy, I am sure.

 [Enter MORUS.]

MORUS

Master, I can tell you news:  the lady kissed me yonder, and played with me,

and says she loved you once as well as she does me, but that you cast her

off.

ASOTUS

Peace, my most esteemed page. 55

MORUS

Yes.

ASOTUS

What  luck is this that our revels are dashed? Now was I beginning to

 glister i’the very highway of preferment.   An Cynthia had but seen me dance

a  strain, or do but one  trick, I had been kept in court, I should never have

needed to look towards my friends again. 60

AMORPHUS

Contain yourself. You were a fortunate young man if you knew your

own good; which I have now  projected, and will presently multiply upon you.

 Beauties and Valours, your vouchsafed applause to a motion. The humorous

Cynthia hath, for this night, withdrawn the light of your   delight —

PHANTASTE

’Tis true, Amorphus, what may we do to redeem it? 65

AMORPHUS

Redeem that we cannot, but to create a new flame is in our power.

 Here is a gentleman my scholar, whom, for some private reasons me specially

moving, I am covetous to gratify with title of Master in the noble and subtle

science of courtship; for which grace, he shall this night in court, and in

the long gallery, hold his public  act by open challenge to all masters of the 70

 mystery whatsoever, to play at the four choice and principal  weapons thereof,

viz., the bare accost, the better regard, the solemn address, and the perfect

close. What say you?

ALL

Excellent, excellent, Amorphus.

AMORPHUS

 Well, let us then  take our time by the forehead. I will instantly have 75

bills drawn, and advanced in every angle of the court. — [To Asotus] Sir, betray

not your too much joy. — Anaides, we must mix this gentleman with you in

acquaintance, Monsieur Asotus.

ANAIDES

I am easily entreated to grace any of your friends, Amorphus.

ASOTUS

Sir, and his friends shall likewise grace you, sir. Nay, I begin to  know 80

myself, now.

AMORPHUS

[Aside to Asotus] Oh, you must continue your bounties.

ASOTUS

[Aside to Amorphus] Must I? Why, I’ll give him this ruby on my  finger. Do

you hear, sir? I do heartily wish your acquaintance, and I partly know myself

worthy of it; please you, sir, to accept this poor ruby in a ring, sir. The poesy 85

is of my own device: ‘ Let this blush for me’, sir.

ANAIDES

So it must for me, too. For I am not ashamed to take it.   [Exit.]

MORUS

Sweet man! By my troth, master, I love you; will you love me, too, for my

aunt’s sake? I’ll wait well, you shall see. I’ll still be here.  Would I might never

stir, but you are  a fine man in these clothes, master, shall I have ’em when 90

you have done with them?

ASOTUS

 As for that, Morus, thou shalt see more hereafter; in the meantime, by

this  air, or by this feather, I’ll do as much for thee as any gallant shall do for

his page, whatsoever, ‘in this court, corner of the world, or kingdom’.

 [Exeunt all but the pages.]

MERCURY

I wonder this gentleman should affect to keep a fool! Methinks he 95

makes sport enough with himself.

CUPID

Well, Prosaites, ’twere good you did wait closer.

PROSAITES

Ay, I’ll look to it, ’tis time.

COS

 The revels would have been most sumptuous tonight, if they had gone

forward. 100   [Exit.]

MERCURY

 They must needs, when all the choicest  singularities of the court  were

 up in pantofles, ne’er a one of them but  was able to make a whole show of

itself.

  ASOTUS

(Within) Sirrah, a torch, a torch!

  PROSAITES

Oh, what a call is there? I will have a  canzonet made with nothing in 105

it but ‘sirrah’; and the  burden shall be ‘I come.’ [Exit.]

  MERCURY

How now, Cupid, how do you like this change?

CUPID

Faith, the thread of my device is cracked, I may go sleep till the revelling

music awake me.   [Exit.]

MERCURY

 And then too, Cupid, without you had prevented the fountain. Alas, 110

poor god, that remembers not self-love to be proof against the violence of his

quiver! Well, I have a plot upon these  prizers, for which I must presently find

out Crites, and with his assistance pursue it to a high strain of laughter, or

Mercury hath  lost of his  metal. [Exit.]

5.1   [Enter] MERCURY [and] CRITES.

MERCURY

  It is resolved on, Crites, you must do it.

CRITES

The grace divinest Mercury hath done me,

In this vouchsafed  discovery of himself,

 Binds my observance in the utmost  term

Of satisfaction to his godly will; 5

Though I profess ( without the affectation

Of an  enforced and formed austerity)

I could be willing to enjoy no place

With so unequal natures.

MERCURY

We believe it.

But for our sake, and to inflict just pains 10

On their prodigious follies, aid us now;

No man is  presently made bad with ill.

And good men, like the sea, should still maintain

Their  noble taste, in midst of all fresh humours

That flow about them to corrupt their streams, 15

Bearing no  season, much less salt of goodness.

It is our purpose, Crites, to  correct

And punish, with our laughter, this night’s sport,

Which our  court-dors so heartily intend;

And by that worthy scorn, to make them know 20

How far beneath the dignity of man

Their serious and most practised actions are.

CRITES

Ay, but though Mercury can  warrant out

His undertakings, and make all things good,

Out of the powers of his divinity, 25

Th’offence will be returned with weight on me,

That am a creature so despised and poor;

When the whole court shall take itself abused

By our  ironical confederacy.

MERCURY

You are deceived. The better race in court, 30

 That have the true nobility, called virtue,

Will apprehend it as a grateful  right

Done to their separate merit; and approve

The fit rebuke of so ridiculous heads,

Who, with their  apish customs and  forced garbs, 35

Would bring the name of courtier in contempt,

Did it not live unblemished in some few

 Whom equal Jove hath loved, and Phoebus formed

Of better metal and in better mould.

CRITES

Well, since my leader-on is Mercury, 40

I shall not fear to follow. If I fall,

 My proper virtue shall be my relief,

That followed such a cause, and such a chief.   [Exeunt.]

5.2   [Enter] ASOTUS [and] AMORPHUS.

ASOTUS

 No more, if you love  me, good master, you are incompatible to live

withal; send me for the ladies!

AMORPHUS

Nay, but  intend me.

ASOTUS

Fear me not, I warrant you, sir.

AMORPHUS

Render not yourself a  refractory on the sudden. I can allow well you 5

should repute highly, heartily, and to the most, of  your own endowments.

It gives you forth to the world the more assured, but with reservation of an

eye, to be always turned dutifully back upon your teacher.

ASOTUS

Nay, good sir, leave it to me. Trust me with  trussing all the points of this

action, I pray. ’Slid, I hope we shall find wit to perform the science as well as 10

another.

AMORPHUS

I confess you to be of an    apt and  docible humour. Yet there are certain

 punctilios, or (as I may more nakedly insinuate them) certain  intrinsicate

 strokes and wards, to which your activity is not yet  amounted — as your

 gentle  dor in colours. For supposition, your mistress appears here  in prize, 15

 ribbanded with green and yellow; now, it is the part of every obsequious

servant to be sure to have daily about him  copy and variety of  colours, to

be presently answerable to any hourly or half-hourly change in his mistress’

revolution —

ASOTUS

 I know it, sir. 20

AMORPHUS

Give leave, I pray you — which if your  antagonist, or player-against-you,

shall ignorantly be without, and yourself can produce, you  give him the

dor.

ASOTUS

Ay, ay, sir.

AMORPHUS

Or,  if you can  possess your opposite that the green your mistress 25

wears is her rejoicing or exultation in his service; the yellow, suspicion of

his truth, from her height of affection; and that he,  greenly credulous, shall

withdraw thus, in private, and from the abundance of his pocket, to displace

her jealous conceit, steal into his hat the colour whose blueness doth express

trueness, she being  not so, nor so affected, you give him the dor. 30

ASOTUS

Do not I know it, sir?

AMORPHUS

Nay, good — swell not above your understanding. There is yet a third

dor, in colours.

ASOTUS

I know it too, I know it.

AMORPHUS

Do you know it too? What is it? Make good your knowledge. 35

ASOTUS

Why it is — no matter for that.

AMORPHUS

Do it, on   pain of the dor.

ASOTUS

Why? What is’t, say you?

AMORPHUS

Lo, you have given yourself the dor. But I will  remonstrate to you the

third dor, which is not, as the two former dors,  indicative but deliberative; 40

as how? As thus: Your  rivalis, with a dutiful and serious care, lying in his

bed, meditating how to observe his mistress, dispatcheth his lackey to the

chamber, early, to know what her colours are for the day, with purpose

to  apply his wear that day accordingly; you  lay wait before,  preoccupy the

chambermaid, corrupt her to  return false colours; he follows the  fallacy, 45

comes out accoutred to his believed instructions; your mistress smiles, and

you give him the dor.

ASOTUS

Why, so I told you, sir, I knew it.

AMORPHUS

Told me! It is a strange  outrecuidance! Your humour too much

 redoundeth. 50

ASOTUS

Why, sir? What, do you think you know more?

AMORPHUS

 I know that a cook may as soon and properly be said to smell well,

as you to be wise. I know these are most clear and clean strokes. But then you

have your  passages and   imbroccatas in courtship; as the bitter  bob in wit; the

 reverse in face, or  wry-mouth; and these more subtle and secure  offenders. I 55

will example unto you: [He demonstrates] your opponent makes entry as you

are engaged with your mistress. You seeing him, close in her ear with this

whisper, ‘Here comes your   baboon, disgrace him’, and withal stepping off,

fall on his bosom, and turning to her, politicly, aloud say, ‘Lady, regard this

noble gentleman, a man  rarely parted, second to none in this court’; and 60

then, stooping over his shoulder, your hand on his breast, your mouth  on

his backside, you give him the reverse stroke, with this  sanna, or stork’s bill,

which makes up your wit’s bob, most bitter.

ASOTUS

Nay, for heaven’s sake, teach me no more. I know all as well — ’slid, if I

did not, why was I nominated? Why did you choose me? Why did the ladies 65

 prick out me? I am sure there were other gallants. But me of all the rest! By

that light, and as I am a courtier, would I might never stir, but ’tis strange.

Would to the Lord, the ladies would come once!

5.3   [  Enter] MORPHIDES.

MORPHIDES

 Signor, the gallants and ladies are at hand. Are you ready, sir?

AMORPHUS

Instantly. Go, accomplish your attire. [Exit Asotus.]

Cousin Morphides, assist me to make good the door with your  officious tyranny.

CITIZEN

  [Within] By your leave,  my masters there, pray you let’s come by.

PAGES

[Within] You by? Why should you come by more than we? 5

WIFE

[Within] Why, sir? Because he is my brother that  plays the prizes.

MORPHIDES

Your brother!

CITIZEN

[Within]  Ay, her brother, sir, and we must come in.

TAILOR

[Within] Why, what are you?

CITIZEN

[Within] I am her husband, sir. 10

TAILOR

[Within] Then thrust forward your head.

AMORPHUS

What tumult is there?

MORPHIDES

Who’s there? Bear back there! Stand from the door!

AMORPHUS

 Enter none but the ladies and their  hang-bys.

  [Enter] HEDON, ANAIDES, PHANTASTE, PHILAUTIA, [and] MORIA.

Welcome beauties, and your kind  shadows. 15

HEDON

This  country lady, my friend, good Signor Amorphus.

ANAIDES

And my cockatrice here.

AMORPHUS

She is welcome.

MORPHIDES

   Knock those same pages there; and,  Goodman  Coxcomb the citizen,

who would you speak withal? 20

AMORPHUS

With whom? Your brother?

MORPHIDES

Who is your  brother?

AMORPHUS

Master Asotus! Is he your brother? He is taken up with great persons;

he is not to know you tonight.

 [Enter] ASOTUS.

ASOTUS

Oh, Jove, master! An there come e’er a citizen gentlewoman in my name, 25

let her have entrance, I pray you; it is my sister.

WIFE

[Within] Brother!

CITIZEN

[Within] Brother, master Asotus!

ASOTUS

Who’s there?

WIFE

[Within] ’Tis I, brother. 30

ASOTUS

 God’s me, there she is! Good master,  intrude her .

MORPHIDES

Make place! Bear back there!

  [Enter] WIFE.

AMORPHUS

 Knock that simple fellow there.

WIFE

Nay, good sir, it is my husband.

MORPHIDES

The simpler fellow he. — Away! Back with your head, sir! 35

 [ Exit Morphides, beating back the Citizen.]

ASOTUS

Brother, you must pardon your  non-entry;  husbands are not allowed

here, in truth. I’ll come home soon with my sister, pray you meet us with a

lantern, brother. Be merry, sister, I shall make you laugh anon.   [Exit.]

PHANTASTE

Your  prizer is not ready, Amorphus.

AMORPHUS

 Apprehend your places; he shall be soon, and  at all points. 40

ANAIDES

Is there anybody come to answer him? Shall we have any sport?

AMORPHUS

Sport of importance; howsoever, give me the  gloves.

HEDON

Gloves? Why gloves, signor?

PHILAUTIA

What’s the ceremony?

AMORPHUS

 (He distributes gloves.) Besides their received fitness, at all prizes, they 45

are here properly  accommodate to the nuptials of my scholar’s haviour to the

Lady Courtship. Please you apparel your hands, Madam

Phantaste, Madam Philautia, guardian, Signor Hedon, Signor Anaides, gentlemen all, ladies.

ALL

Thanks, good Amorphus.

AMORPHUS

I will now call forth my  provost, and present him. 50   [Exit.]

ANAIDES

Heart! Why should not we be masters as well as he?

HEDON

That’s true, and play our masters’ prizes as well as the t’other?

MORIA

 In sadness, for using your court-weapons, methinks you may.

PHANTASTE

Nay, but why should not we ladies play our prizes, I pray? I see no

reason but we should take ’em down  at their own weapons. 55

PHILAUTIA

Troth, and so we may, if we handle ’em well.

WIFE

Ay, indeed,  forsooth, madam, if ’twere i’the city, we would think foul scorn

but we would, forsooth.

PHANTASTE

Pray you, what should we call your name?

WIFE

My name is  Downfall. 60

HEDON

Good Mistress Downfall! I am sorry your husband could not get in.

WIFE

’Tis no matter for him, sir.

[She sits to one side.]

ANAIDES

No, no, she has the more liberty for herself.

 A flourish.

 [Enter AMORPHUS and ASOTUS.]

PHANTASTE

Peace, peace! They come.

AMORPHUS

So. Keep up your ruff,  the tincture of your neck is not all so pure but 65

it will ask it. Maintain your  sprig upright; your cloak on your  half-shoulder

falling; so. I will read your bill, advance it, and present you. — Silence!

[He reads]  the challenge.

‘ Be it known to all that profess courtship, by these presents — from the

 white satin reveller to the cloth of  tissue and baudkin  — that we, 70

Ulysses- Polytropus-Amorphus, master of the noble and subtle science of courtship,

do give leave and licence to our provost,  Acolastus- Polypragmon-Asotus, to

play his master’s prize against all masters whatsoever in this subtle mystery,

at these  four, the choice and most cunning weapons of court- compliment,

viz. the bare  accost; the better regard; the solemn address; and the perfect 75

close. These are therefore to give notice to all comers, that he, the said

Acolastus-Polypragmon-Asotus, is here present (by the help of his mercer,

 tailor, milliner, sempster, and so forth) at his designed hour, in this fair gallery,

the present day of this present month, to perform and do his uttermost

for the achievement and bearing away of the  prizes, which are these: viz. for 80

the bare accost, two  wall-eyes in a  face forced; for the better regard, a face

favourably simpering, with a  fan waving; for the solemn address, two  lips

wagging, and never a wise word; for the perfect close, a  wring by the hand,

with a  banquet in a corner.  And Phoebus save Cynthia!’ Appeareth no man

yet, to answer the prizer? No voice? — Music, give them their summons. 85

 Music sounds.

PHANTASTE

The solemnity of this is excellent.

AMORPHUS

Silence! Well, I perceive your name is their terror, and keepeth them

back.

ASOTUS

I’faith, master, let’s go; nobody comes.   Victus, victa, victum; victi, victae,

victi. — Let’s  be retrograde. 90

AMORPHUS

Stay. That were  dispunct to the ladies. Rather ourself shall be your

   encount’rer. Take your  state up to the  wall. — [To Moria] And,  lady, may we

implore you to stand forth as first term or bound to our courtship.

HEDON

’Fore heaven, ’twill show rarely.

AMORPHUS

Sound a  charge! 95

A  charge [is sounded].

ANAIDES

A pox on’t!  Your vulgar will count this fabulous and impudent now.

By that candle, they’ll ne’er  conceit it.

    They act their accost severally to the lady that stands forth.

PHANTASTE

Excellent well! Admirable!

PHILAUTIA

Peace!

HEDON

Most fashionably, believe it. 100

PHILAUTIA

Oh, he is a  well-spoken gentleman.

PHANTASTE

Now the other.

PHILAUTIA

Very good.

HEDON

For a scholar, Honour.

ANAIDES

Oh, ’tis too  Dutch. He reels too much. 105

 A  flourish.

HEDON

 This weapon is done.

AMORPHUS

No, we have our two  bouts at every weapon;  expect.

5.4   [Enter] CRITES [and] MERCURY   to them.

CRITES

 Where be these gallants, and their brave prizer here?

MORPHIDES

[Within] Who’s there? Bear back, keep the door.

AMORPHUS

What are you, sir?

CRITES

By your licence, grand-master. [To Mercury] Come forward, sir.

ANAIDES

Heart! Who let in that  rag there amongst us? Put him out! An 5

impecunious creature.

HEDON

Out with him!

MORPHIDES

[Within] Come, sir.

AMORPHUS

You must be  retrograde.

CRITES

Soft, sir, I am  truchman, and do  flourish before this monsieur, or  French-behaved 10

gentleman, here; who is drawn hither by report of your    cartels,

advanced in court, to prove his fortune with your prizer, so he may have fair

play shown him, and the liberty to choose his  stickler.

AMORPHUS

Is he a master?

CRITES

That, sir, he has to show here; and confirmed under the hands of the most 15

skilful and cunning  complementaries alive. [Giving him a certificate] Please you

read, sir.

AMORPHUS

What shall we do?

ANAIDES

Death, disgrace this fellow i’the black  stuff, whatever you do.

AMORPHUS

Why, but he comes with the stranger. 20

HEDON

That’s no matter. He is our own countryman.

ANAIDES

Ay, and he is a scholar besides. You may disgrace him here with

authority.

AMORPHUS

Well, see these first.

ASOTUS

Now shall I be observed by yond scholar, till I sweat again. I would to 25

Jove it were over.

CRITES

 [Aside to Mercury] Sir, this is the wight of worth that dares you to the

encounter. A gentleman of so pleasing and ridiculous a carriage as, even

standing, carries  meat in the mouth, you see; and, I assure you, although no

bred  courtling, yet a most particular man, of goodly  havings, well-fashioned 30

haviour, and of as  hardened and excellent a bark as the most naturally

qualified amongst them, informed, reformed, and transformed from his original

 citicism, by this  elixir, or mere  magazine of man. And, for your spectators,

you behold them what they are, the most choice particulars in court. This

tells tales well; this provides coaches; this repeats jests; this presents gifts; 35

this  holds up the arras; this takes down from horse; this protests by this

light; this swears by that candle; this delighteth; this adoreth. Yet, all  but

three men. Then for your ladies, the most proud, witty creatures, all things

apprehending, nothing understanding, perpetually laughing, curious

maintainers of fools, mercers, and minstrels, costly to be kept, miserably  keeping, 40

all disdaining but their  painter and pothecary, twixt whom and them there is

this   reciproque commerce: their beauties maintain their painters, and their

painters their beauties.

MERCURY

Sir, you have played the painter yourself, and   limned them to the life.

I desire to  deserve before ’em. 45

AMORPHUS

(Having read the certificate)  This is   authentic. We must resolve to

entertain the monsieur, howsoever we neglect  him.

HEDON

Come, let’s all go together and salute him.

ANAIDES

Content, and not look o’the other.

AMORPHUS

Well devised; and a most punishing disgrace. 50

HEDON

On.

AMORPHUS

[To Mercury] Monsieur, we must not so much betray ourselves to

 discourtship, as to suffer you to be longer unsaluted. Please you to use the

 state ordained for the opponent; in which nature, without envy, we receive

you. 55

HEDON

And embrace you.

ANAIDES

And commend us to you, sir.

PHILAUTIA

Believe it, he is a man of excellent silence.

PHANTASTE

He keeps all his wit for action.

ANAIDES

This hath discountenanced our  scholaris most richly. 60

HEDON

 Out of all emphasis. The monsieur sees we regard him not.

AMORPHUS

Hold on; make it known how bitter a thing it is not to be looked on

in court.

HEDON

’Slud,  will he call him to him yet! Does not monsieur perceive  our

disgrace? 65

ANAIDES

Heart! He is a fool, I see. We have done ourselves wrong to grace him.

HEDON

’Slight, what an ass was I to embrace him!

CRITES

 Illustrious and  fearful judges —

HEDON

Turn away, turn away.

[They turn their backs on Crites and Mercury.]

CRITES

It is the suit of the strange opponent — to whom you ought not to turn 70

your tails, and whose  noses I must follow — that he may have the justice

before he encounter his respected adversary to see some light stroke of his

play, commenced with some other.

HEDON

Answer  not him, but  the stranger; we will not believe him.

AMORPHUS

I will demand him myself. 75

CRITES

Oh, dreadful disgrace, if a man were so foolish to feel it!

AMORPHUS

Is it your suit, monsieur, to see some prelude of my scholar? Now,

sure the monsieur wants language.

HEDON

And take upon him to be one of the accomplished! ’Slight, that’s a good

jest; would we could take him with that  nullity. —   Non sapete voi parlare Italiano? 80

ANAIDES

’Sfoot,  the carp has no tongue.

CRITES

[To Amorphus] Signor, in courtship, you are to bid your abettors forbear,

and satisfy the monsieur’s request.

AMORPHUS

Well, I will strike him more silent with admiration, and terrify his

daring hither. He shall behold my own play with my scholar. [To Moria] Lady, 85

with the touch of your white hand, let me  reinstate you. —  Provost,  begin to

me at the  bare accost.

  A charge. [Asotus demonstrates the accost.]

Now, for the honour of my discipline!

HEDON

Signor Amorphus,  reflect, reflect! — [Mercury makes a face.] What means

he by that  mouthed wave? 90

CRITES

He is in some distaste of your fellow disciple.

MERCURY

 [To Amorphus] Signor,  your scholar  might have played well still, if he

could have kept his seat longer; I have enough of him, now. He is a mere piece

of  glass, I see through him, by this time.

AMORPHUS

You come not to give us the scorn, monsieur? 95

MERCURY

Nor to be frighted with a face. Signor,  I have seen the lions! You must

pardon me. I shall be loath to hazard a reputation with one that has not a

reputation to lose.

AMORPHUS

How!

CRITES

Meaning your pupil, sir. 100

ANAIDES

This is that  black devil there.

AMORPHUS

You do offer a strange affront, monsieur.

CRITES

Sir,  he shall yield you all the honour of a competent adversary, if you

please to undertake him —

MERCURY

I am  prest for the encounter. 105

AMORPHUS

Me? Challenge me?

ASOTUS

[To Mercury] What? My master, sir? ’Slight, monsieur,  meddle with me,

do you hear, but do not meddle with my master.

MERCURY

Peace, good  squib, go out.

CRITES

And stink, he bids you. 110

ASOTUS

Master!

AMORPHUS

Silence! I do accept him. Sit you down and observe. Me! He never

professed a thing  at more charges. — Prepare yourself, sir. — Challenge me? I

will prosecute what disgrace my hatred can dictate to me.

CRITES

How tender a  traveller’s  spleen is!  Comparison to men that deserve least 115

is ever most offensive.

AMORPHUS

[To Mercury] You are instructed in our  cartel, and know our weapons?

MERCURY

 I appear not without their notice, sir.

ASOTUS

But must I lose the prizes, master?

AMORPHUS

I will win them for you, be patient. —  Lady,  vouchsafe the tenure of 120

this  ensign. — Who shall be your  stickler?

MERCURY

[Pointing to Crites] Behold him.

AMORPHUS

I would not wish you a weaker. — Sound, musics. — I provoke you at

the bare accost.

  A charge [is sounded. Amorphus performs the accost].

PHANTASTE

Excellent comely! 125

CRITES

And worthily studied. This is ‘th’exalted  foretop’.

HEDON

Oh, his leg was too much  produced.

ANAIDES

And his hat was carried  scurvily.

[Mercury performs the accost.]

PHILAUTIA

Peace; let’s see the monsieur’s accost. Rare!

PHANTASTE

Sprightly and short. 130

ANAIDES

True, it is the French  curteau. He lacks but to have his nose slit.

HEDON

He does hop. He does bound too much.

 A flourish.

AMORPHUS

The second bout, to conclude this weapon.

 A charge. [Mercury and Amorphus each perform the accost.]

PHANTASTE

Good, believe it!

PHILAUTIA

An excellent offer! 135

CRITES

This is called ‘the solemn  band-string’.

HEDON

Foh, that cringe was not  put home.

ANAIDES

’Sfoot, he makes a face like a stabbed  Lucrece.

ASOTUS

Well, he would needs take it upon him, but would I had done it for all

this. He makes me sit still here, like a  baboon as I am. 140

CRITES

Making villainous faces.

PHILAUTIA

See,  the French  prepares it richly.

CRITES

Ay, this is  ycleped ‘the  serious trifle’.

ANAIDES

’Slud, ’tis ‘the   horse-start out o’the  brown study’.

CRITES

Rather ‘the  bird-eyed stroke’, sir. Your observance is too blunt, sir. 145

 A flourish.

AMORPHUS

Judges, award the prize. — Take breath, sir. This bout hath been

laborious.

ASOTUS

And yet your critic, or your  besonio, will think these things foppery and

easy, now.

CRITES

Or rather  mere lunacy. For would any reasonable creature make these 150

his serious studies and perfections? Much less, only live to these ends? To be

the false pleasure of a few, the true love of none, and the just laughter of all?

HEDON

 We must prefer the monsieur; we courtiers must be partial.

ANAIDES

[To Moria] Speak, guardian. Name the prize at the  bare accost.

MORIA

A pair of wall-eyes in a face forced. 155

ANAIDES

Give the monsieur. Amorphus hath lost his eyes.

AMORPHUS

I? Is the  palate of your judgment down? Gentles, I do appeal.

ASOTUS

Yes, master, to me. The judges be fools.

ANAIDES

How now, sir? Tie up your tongue, mongrel. He cannot appeal.

ASOTUS

Say you, sir? 160

ANAIDES

Sit you still, sir.

ASOTUS

Why, so I do; do not I, I pray you?

MERCURY

 Remercie, madame, and these honourable  censors.

AMORPHUS

Well, to the second weapon, the  better regard. I will encounter you

better. Attempt. 165

HEDON

[To Philautia] Sweet Honour!

PHILAUTIA

What says my good Ambition?

HEDON

 Which take you at this next weapon? I lay  a discretion with you on

Amorphus’ head —

PHILAUTIA

Why, I take the French-behaved gentleman. 170

HEDON

’Tis done, a discretion.

CRITES

A discretion? A pretty court-wager! Would any discreet person hazard

his wit so?

PHANTASTE

I’ll lay a discretion with you, Anaides.

ANAIDES

Hang ’em, I’ll not venture a     doit of discretion on either of their  heads. 175

CRITES

 No, he should venture all then.

ANAIDES

I like none of their plays.

 A charge. [They perform the better regard.

The courtiers comment to one another in various groupings.]

HEDON

See,  see, this is strange play!

ANAIDES

’Tis too full of uncertain motion. He hobbles too much.

CRITES

’Tis called your  court-staggers, sir. 180

HEDON

That same fellow talks so, now he has  a place!

ANAIDES

Hang him, neglect him.

MERCURY

[To Moria] ‘Your good ladyship’s  affectioned.’

WIFE

[To Asotus] God’s so! They speak at this weapon, brother.

ASOTUS

They must do so, sister; how should it be the better regard, else? 185

PHANTASTE

Methinks he did not this  respectively enough.

PHILAUTIA

Why, the monsieur but dallies with him.

HEDON

Dallies! ’Slight, see! He’ll put him to’t in earnest. — Well done, Amorphus!

ANAIDES

That  puff was good indeed.

CRITES

God’s me! This is desperate play. He hits himself o’the shins. 190

HEDON

An he make this good   though, he carries it, I warrant him.

CRITES

Indeed he displays his feet rarely.

HEDON

See, see, he does the respective  leer damnably well.

AMORPHUS

‘The true idolater of your beauties shall never pass their deities

unadored; I rest your poor knight.’ 195

HEDON

See, now the oblique leer, or the  Janus; he satisfies all with that aspect

most nobly.

 A flourish.

CRITES

And most terribly he comes off; like your  Rodomontado.

PHANTASTE

How like you this play, Anaides?

ANAIDES

Good play; but ’tis too rough and boisterous. 200

AMORPHUS

I will second it with a stroke easier, wherein I will prove his language.

 A charge. [Amorphus and Mercury perform again.]

ANAIDES

This is   fitly and grave, now.

HEDON

Oh, ’tis cool and wary play. We must not disgrace our own   camerade too

much.

AMORPHUS

  Signora, ho tanto obbligo per il favore riconosciuto da lei che veramente   205

desidero con tutto il cuore a rimunerarla in parte. E stia sicura, signora mia cara, che io

saró sempre pronto a servirla ed onorarla. Bacio le mani di vostra Signoria.

CRITES

The Venetian  dop, this.

PHANTASTE

Most unexpectedly excellent! The French goes down, certain.

ASOTUS

 As buckets are put down into a well, 210

Or as a schoolboy—

CRITES

[To Asotus] Truss up your simile,  jackdaw, and observe.

HEDON

Now the monsieur is moved.

ANAIDES

 Bo-peep!

HEDON

Oh, most    antic! 215

CRITES

The French  quirk, this, sir.

ANAIDES

Heart, he will overrun her.

MERCURY

    Mademoiselle, je voudrai que pouvai montrer mon affection, mais je suis tant

malheureuse, si froid, si laid, si — je ne sais qui de dire — excuse moi, je suis tout votre.

 A flourish.

PHILAUTIA

Oh, brave and spirited! He’s a right  Jovialist. 220

PHANTASTE

No, no, Amorphus’ gravity outweighs it.

CRITES

And yet your lady, or your  feather, would outweigh both.

ANAIDES

What’s the prize, lady, at this better regard?

MORIA

A face favourably simpering, and a fan waving.

ANAIDES

 They have done doubtfully. Divide. Give the favourable face to the 225

signor, and the light wave to the monsieur.

AMORPHUS

You become the  simper well, lady.

MERCURY

And the wag better.

AMORPHUS

Now, to our solemn address. Please the well-graced Philautia to

relieve the  lady sentinel; she hath stood long. 230

PHILAUTIA

With all my heart. — Come, guardian, resign your place.

 [Moria comes from the state.]

AMORPHUS

Monsieur, furnish yourself with what solemnity of ornament you

think fit for this  third weapon; at which you are to show all the cunning of

 stroke your devotion can possibly devise.

MERCURY

 Let me alone, sir. I’ll sufficiently decipher your amorous solemnities. 235

— Crites, have patience. See if I  hit not all their  practic observance with which

they  lime twigs to catch their fantastic ladybirds.

CRITES

Ay, but you should do more charitably to do it more  openly, that they

might discover themselves mocked in these monstrous affections.

 A charge. [The contestants prepare to perform again.]

  [Enter] TAILOR, MERCER, PERFUMER, FEATHER-MAKER, MILLINER, BARBER, [and] JEWELLER.

MERCURY

Lacquay, where’s the tailor? 240

TAILOR

Here, sir.

HEDON

See, they have their tailor, barber, perfumer, milliner, jeweller, feather-

maker, all in common!

 They  make themselves ready on the stage.

ANAIDES

Ay, this is pretty.

AMORPHUS

[To the Barber] Here is a hair too much; take it  off. Where are thy 245

 mullets?

MERCURY

[To the Tailor] Is this  pink of equal proportion to this cut, standing off

this distance from it?

TAILOR

That it is, sir.

MERCURY

Is it so, sir? You impudent poultroun, you slave, you  list, you shreds, 250

you —

HEDON

Excellent! This was the best yet.

ANAIDES

 ’Sfoot, we must use our tailors thus. This is your true magnanimity.

MERCURY

Come, go to,  put on. We must bear with you for the time’s sake.

AMORPHUS

Is the perfume rich in this jerkin? 255

PERFUMER

Taste, smell; I assure you, sir, pure  benjamin, the only spirited scent

that ever awaked a  Neapolitan nostril.  You would wish yourself all nose for

the love on’t. I  frotted a jerkin for a  new-revenued gentleman, yielded me

threescore crowns but this morning, and the same  titillation.

AMORPHUS

I savour no  sampsuchine in it. 260

PERFUMER

I am a  nullifidian, if there be not three-thirds of  a scruple more of

sampsuchinum in this confection than ever I put in any. I’ll tell you all the

ingredients, sir.

AMORPHUS

You shall be  simple to discover your simples.

PERFUMER

Simple? Why,  sir? What reck I to whom I discover? I have in it 265

 musk, civet,  amber,  phoenicobalanus, the decoction of  turmeric,  sesame,

 nard, spikenard,  calamus odoratus,  stacte,  opobalsamum,  amomum,  storax,

 ladanum,  aspalathum,   opoponax,  oenanthe. And what of all these now?

What are you the better? Tut, it is the sorting, and the dividing, and the

mixing, and the tempering, and the  searcing, and the  decocting that makes 270

the  fumigation and the suffumigation.

AMORPHUS

Well,  endue me with it.

PERFUMER

I will, sir.

HEDON

An excellent  confection.

CRITES

And most worthy a true voluptuary. Jove, what a  coil these  musk-worms 275

take to purchase another’s delight! For themselves who bear the odours have

ever the least sense of them. Yet I do like better the prodigality of  jewels

and clothes, whereof one passeth to a man’s heirs; the other at least wears

out time. This presently expires, and, without continual  riot in reparation,

is lost; which whoso strives to keep, it is one special argument to me, that 280

 affecting to smell better than other men, he doth indeed smell far worse.

MERCURY

I know, you will say it sits well, sir.

TAILOR

Good faith, if it do not, sir, let your mistress be judge.

MERCURY

By heaven, if my mistress do not like it, I’ll make no more conscience

to  undo thee than to undo an oyster. 285

TAILOR

Believe it, sir, there’s ne’er a mistress i’the world can mislike it.

MERCURY

No, not goodwife tailor, your mistress; that has only the judgement to

heat your  pressing-tool. But for a court-mistress that studies these decorums,

and knows the proportion of every cut to a hair, knows why such a colour is

 cut upon such a colour, and when a satin is cut upon six taffetas, will look 290

that we should dive into the depth of the cut — Give me my scarf. Show some

 ribbons, sirrah. Ha’ you the feather?

FEATHER-MAKER

 Ay, sir.

MERCURY

Ha’ you the jewel?

JEWELLER

Yes, sir. 295

MERCURY

What must I give for the  hire on’t?

JEWELLER

You’ll give me six crowns, sir.

MERCURY

Six crowns! By heaven, ’twere a good deed to borrow it of thee to show,

and never let thee have it again.

JEWELLER

I hope Your Worship will not do so, sir. 300

MERCURY

By Jove, sir, there be such tricks stirring, I can tell you, and worthily

too. Extorting knaves, that live by these court-decorums, and yet — What’s

your jewel worth, I pray?

JEWELLER

A hundred crowns, sir.

MERCURY

A hundred crowns, and six for the loan on’t an hour! What’s that  i’the 305

hundred for the year?  These impostors would not be hanged? Your thief is

not comparable to ’em, by Hercules. Well, put it in, and the feather; you will

ha’t and you shall, and the pox give you good on’t!

AMORPHUS

Give me my  confects, my  moscardini, and place those colours in my

hat. 310

MERCURY

These are  Bolognian ribbons, I warrant you.

MILLINER

In truth, sir, if they be not right  Granado silk —

MERCURY

A pox on you, you’ll all say so.

MILLINER

You give me not a penny, sir.

MERCURY

Come, sir, perfume my  devant; may it ascend, like solemn sacrifice, 315

into the nostrils of the  Queen of Love!

HEDON

Your French ceremonies are the best.

ANAIDES

[To Mercury] Monsieur, signor, your  solemn address is too long. The

ladies long to have you  come on.

AMORPHUS

Soft, sir, our coming on is not so easily prepared. Signor  Fig! 320

PERFUMER

Ay, sir.

AMORPHUS

Can you help my complexion, here?

PERFUMER

Oh, yes, sir, I have an excellent mineral  fucus for the purpose. The

gloves are right, sir; you shall bury ’em in a muck-hill, a  draught, seven years,

and take ’em out and wash ’em, they shall still retain their first scent,  true 325

Spanish. There’s amber i’the  umber.

MERCURY

Your price, sweet Fig?

PERFUMER

Give me what you will, sir. The signor pays me two crowns a pair;

you shall give me your love, sir.

MERCURY

My love! With a pox to you, Goodman  Sassafras. 330

PERFUMER

I come, sir. There’s an excellent  diapasm in a chain, too, if you like it.

AMORPHUS

Stay, what are the ingredients to your fucus?

PERFUMER

Naught but  sublimate and crude mercury, sir, well prepared and

 dulcified, with the  jaw-bones of a sow, burnt, beaten, and  searced.

AMORPHUS

I approve it. Lay it on. 335

MERCURY

I’ll have your chain of pomander, sirrah. What’s your price?

PERFUMER

We’ll agree, monsieur. I’ll assure you, it was both decocted and dried

where no sun came, and kept in an  onyx ever since it was  balled.

MERCURY

[To the Barber] Come,  invert my mustachio, and we have done.

AMORPHUS

 ’Tis good. 340

BARBER

Hold still, I pray you, sir.

PERFUMER

Nay, the fucus is  exorbitant, sir.

MERCURY

Death! Dost thou burn me,  harlot?

BARBER

I beseech you, sir.

MERCURY

Beggar, varlet, poultroun! 345

[Mercury beats the Barber.]

 A flourish.

HEDON

Excellent, excellent!

ANAIDES

Your French  beat is the most natural beat of the world.

ASOTUS

Oh, that I had played at this weapon!

 A charge. [Mercury and Amorphus perform another exchange.]

PHANTASTE

Peace, now they come on;  the second part!

AMORPHUS

[To Philautia] Madam, your beauties being so attractive, I muse you 350

are left thus alone.

PHILAUTIA

Better be alone, sir, than ill-accompanied.

AMORPHUS

Naught can be ill, lady, that can come near your goodness.

MERCURY

Sweet madam, on what part of you soever a man casts his eye, he

meets with perfection. You are the lively image of Venus throughout; all the 355

Graces smile in your cheeks; your beauty nourishes as well as delights; you

have a tongue steeped in honey, and a breath like a  panther; your breasts and

forehead are whiter than goats’ milk, or  may blossoms; a cloud is not so soft

as your skin —

HEDON

Well struck, monsieur! He charges like a  Frenchman indeed, thick and 360

hotly.

MERCURY

Your cheeks are  Cupid’s baths, wherein he uses to steep himself in

milk and nectar. He does light all his  torches at your eyes, and instructs

you how to shoot and wound with their  beams. Yet I love nothing in you

more than your innocence; you retain so native a simplicity, so unblamed a 365

behaviour. Methinks, with such a love, I should find  no head nor foot of my

pleasure. You are the very spirit of a lady.

ANAIDES

Fair play, monsieur? You are too hot on the  quarry;  give your competitor

audience.

AMORPHUS

Lady,  how stirring soever the monsieur’s tongue is, he will lie by 370

your side more dull than your eunuch.

ANAIDES

A good stroke; that  mouth was excellently put over.

AMORPHUS

You are fair, lady —

CRITES

You offer  foul, signor, to  close. Keep your distance, for all your  bravo

 rampant here. 375

AMORPHUS

I say you are fair, lady, let your choice be fit, as you are fair.

MERCURY

I say ladies do never believe they are fair, till  some fool begins to dote

upon ’em.

PHILAUTIA

You play too rough, gentlemen.

AMORPHUS

[Aside to Philautia]  Your Frenchified fool is your only fool, lady. [Aloud] 380

I do yield to this honourable monsieur in all civil and humane courtesy.

 A flourish.

MERCURY

 Buzz!

ANAIDES

Admirable. Give him the prize, give him the prize!  That mouth again

was most courtly hit, and rare.

AMORPHUS

I knew I should pass upon him with the  bitter bob. 385

HEDON

Oh, but the reverse was singular.

PHANTASTE

It was most subtle, Amorphus.

ASOTUS

If I had done’t, it should have been better.

MERCURY

How heartily they applaud this, Crites!

CRITES

You suffer ’em too long. 390

MERCURY

I’ll  take off their edge instantly.

ANAIDES

Name the prize, at the solemn address.

PHILAUTIA

Two lips wagging.

CRITES

And never a wise word, I take it.

ANAIDES

Give to Amorphus. And, upon him again; let him not draw free breath. 395

AMORPHUS

 Thanks, fair deliverer, and my honourable judges. Madam Phantaste,

you are our worthy object at this next weapon.

PHANTASTE

Most  covetingly ready, Amorphus.

HEDON

Your monsieur is  crestfallen.

ANAIDES

So are most of ’em once a year. 400

AMORPHUS

You will see, I shall now give him the  gentle dor presently; he

forgetting to shift the colours, which are now changed with alteration of the

mistress. — At your last weapon, sir: the perfect close. Set forward.  Intend

your approach, monsieur.

 A charge.

MERCURY

’Tis  yours, signor. 405

AMORPHUS

With your example, sir.

MERCURY

Not I, sir.

AMORPHUS

It is your right.

MERCURY

By no possible means.

AMORPHUS

You have the way. 410

MERCURY

As I am noble —

AMORPHUS

As I am virtuous —

MERCURY

Pardon me, sir.

AMORPHUS

I will die first.

MERCURY

You are a  tyrant in courtesy. 415

AMORPHUS

He is  removed.  (Amorphus stays the other on his moving.) Judges, bear

witness.

MERCURY

What of that, sir?

AMORPHUS

You are removed, sir.

MERCURY

Well. 420

AMORPHUS

I challenge you; you have received the dor. Give me the prize.

MERCURY

Soft, sir. How, the dor?

AMORPHUS

The  common mistress, you see, is changed.

MERCURY

Right, sir.

AMORPHUS

And you have still in your hat the former colours. 425

MERCURY

 You lie, sir, I have none; I have pulled ’em out. I meant to play

discoloured.

 A flourish.

CRITES

The dor, the dor, the dor, the dor, the dor, the  palpable dor!

ANAIDES

Heart of my blood, Amorphus, what ha’ you done? Stuck a disgrace

upon us all, and at your last weapon! 430

ASOTUS

I could have done no more.

HEDON

By heaven, it was most unfortunate luck.

ANAIDES

Luck! By that candle, it was mere rashness and oversight. Would any

man have ventured to play so open, and forsake his  ward? Damn me if he ha’

not eternally undone himself in court, and discountenanced us that were his 435

main  countenance, by it.

AMORPHUS

Forgive it now. It was the  solecism of my stars.

CRITES

The wring by the hand, and the banquet is ours.

MERCURY

Oh, here’s  a lady feels like a wench  of the first year. [Mercury takes

Phantaste by the hand.] You would think her hand did melt in your touch, and 440

the bones of her fingers ran out at length when you pressed ’em, they are so

gently delicate! He that had the grace to print a kiss on these lips should taste

wine and rose-leaves. [He kisses her.] Oh, she kisses  as close as a cockle. Let’s

take  ’em down as deep as our hearts,  wench, till our very souls mix. Adieu,

signor. Good faith, I shall drink to you at supper, sir. 445

ANAIDES

Stay, monsieur. Who awards you the prize?

CRITES

Why, his proper merit, sir. You see he has played down your grand

 garb-master, here.

ANAIDES

That’s not in your logic to determine, sir; you are no courtier. This is

none of your  seven or nine beggarly sciences, but a certain mystery above 450

’em, wherein we that have skill must pronounce, and not such  freshmen as

you are.

CRITES

Indeed, I must declare myself to you no professed courtling, nor to have

any excellent stroke at your subtle weapons; yet if you please, I dare venture

a hit with you, or your fellow, Sir  Dagonet, here. 455

ANAIDES

With me?

CRITES

Yes, sir.

ANAIDES

Heart, I shall never have such a fortune to save myself in a fellow again,

and your two reputations, gentlemen, as in this. I’ll undertake him.

HEDON

Do, and  swinge him soundly, good Anaides. 460

ANAIDES

Let me alone; I’ll play other manner of play than has been seen yet. I

would the prize lay on’t.

MERCURY

It shall if you will, I  forgive my right.

ANAIDES

Are you so confident? What’s your weapon?

CRITES

At any, I, sir. 465

MERCURY

 The perfect close, that’s now the best.

ANAIDES

Content. I’ll  pay your scholarity.  Who offers?

CRITES

Marry, that will I. I dare give you  that advantage, too.

ANAIDES

You dare! Well, look to your  liberal  sconce.

AMORPHUS

Make your play still,  upon the answer, sir. 470

ANAIDES

Hold your peace, you are a  hobby-horse.

ASOTUS

[To Amorphus] Sit by me, master.

MERCURY

Now, Crites, strike home.

CRITES

You shall see me undo the assured swaggerer with a trick, instantly. I will

play all his own play before him; court the wench in his garb, in his phrase, 475

with his face; leave him not so much as a look, an eye, a  stalk, or an imperfect

oath, to express himself by, after me.

MERCURY

Excellent, Crites.

 A charge. [Crites and Anaides engage.]

ANAIDES

When begin you, sir? Have you consulted?

CRITES

 To your cost, sir. Which is the  piece stands forth to be courted? Oh,  are 480

you she? Well, madam, or sweet lady, it is so, I do love you in some sort, do

you conceive? And though I am no monsieur, nor no signor, and do want, as

they say, logic and sophistry, and good words, to tell you why it is so; yet by

this hand and by that candle it is so. And though I be no bookworm, nor one

that deals by art, to give you rhetoric and causes why it should be so, or make 485

it good it is so, yet damn me but I know it is so, and am assured it is so, and

I and my sword shall make it  appear it is so, and  give you reason sufficient

how it can be no otherwise  but so —

HEDON

’Slight, Anaides, you are mocked, and so we are all.

MERCURY

How now, signor! What, suffer yourself to be cozened of your 490

courtship before your face?

HEDON

This is plain confederacy to disgrace us. Let’s be gone, and plot some

revenge.

AMORPHUS

 ‘  When men disgraces share,

The lesser is the care.’ 495

CRITES

  [To Hedon] Nay, stay, my dear  Ambition, I can do you over too. You that

tell your mistress her beauty is all composed of  theft; her hair stole from

Apollo’s  goldilocks; her  white and red, lilies and roses stolen out of paradise;

her eyes, two stars plucked from the sky; her nose, the  gnomon of Love’s dial,

that tells you how the clock of your heart goes; and for her  other parts, as you 500

cannot reckon ’em, they are so many, so you cannot recount them, they are

so manifest.  Yours, if his own, unfortunate  Hoyden, instead of Hedon.

 A flourish.

ASOTUS

[To the Wife]  Sister, come away, I cannot endure ’em longer.

MERCURY

 Go, dors, and you, my madam  courting-stocks,

Follow your scornèd and derided mates. 505

Tell to your  guilty breasts what mere gilt  blocks

You are, and how unworthy human states.

 [Exeunt all but Mercury and Crites.]

CRITES

[To Mercury] Now, sacred god of wit, if you can make

Those whom our sports tax in these apish graces

Kiss, like the  fighting snakes, your peaceful rod, 510

 These times shall canonize you for a god.

MERCURY

Why, Crites, think you any noble spirit,

Or any worth the title of a man,

Will be incensed to see th’enchanted veils

Of self-conceit and servile flattery, 515

Wrapt in so many folds by time and custom,

Drawn from  his wrongèd and bewitchèd eyes?

Who sees not now their shape and nakedness

Is blinder than the  son of earth, the mole;

Crowned with no more humanity, nor soul. 520

CRITES

Though they may see it, yet the huge  estate

Fancy and  form and sensual pride have gotten

Will make them blush for anger, not for shame,

And turn  shown nakedness to impudence.

Humour is now the test we try things in; 525

 All power is just: naught that delights is sin.

 And yet the zeal of every knowing man

Oppressed with hills of tyranny, cast on virtue

By the light  fancies of fools, thus transported,

Cannot but vent the  Etna of  his fires, 530

T’inflame best bosoms with much worthier love

Than of these  outward and  effeminate  shades;

That these vain joys, in which their wills consume

Such powers of wit and soul as are of force

To raise their beings to eternity, 535

May be  converted on works fitting men;

And,  for the practice of a forcèd look,

An  antic gesture, or a fustian phrase,

Study the native frame of a true heart,

An inward comeliness of bounty, knowledge, 540

And spirit that may conform them actually

To  God’s high figures, which they have  in power;

Which to neglect for a self-loving neatness,

Is sacrilege of an unpardoned greatness.

MERCURY

Then let the truth of these things strengthen thee 545

In thy  exempt and only manlike course.

Like it the more, the less it is respected;

Though men fail, virtue is by gods protected.

See, here comes Arete; I’ll withdraw myself.

 [Exit.]

5.5     [Enter] ARETE.

ARETE

 Crites,  you must provide straight for a masque,

’Tis Cynthia’s pleasure.

CRITES

How, bright Arete?

Why, ’twere a labour more for  Hercules.

Better and sooner durst I undertake

To make the different seasons of the year, 5

The winds, or elements to sympathize,

Than  their  unmeasurable vanity

Dance truly in a measure. They agree?

What though all  concord’s borne of contraries,

So many follies will confusion prove, 10

And like a  sort of jarring instruments,

All out of tune; because, indeed, we see

There is not that  analogy twixt discords,

As between things  but merely opposite.

ARETE

There is your error. For as  Hermes’ wand 15

Charms the disorders of tumultuous ghosts,

And as the  strife of Chaos then did cease

When better light than Nature’s did arrive;

So, what could never in itself agree,

Forgetteth the  eccentric property, 20

And at her sight turns forthwith regular,

 Whose sceptre guides the flowing ocean.

And  though it did not, yet the most of them,

Being either courtiers, or not wholly rude,

Respect of majesty, the place, and presence, 25

Will keep them  within ring; especially

When they are not presented as themselves,

But  masked like others. For, in troth, not so

T’ incorporate them could be nothing else

Than like a state ungoverned, without laws,  30

Or  body made of nothing but diseases;

 The one, through impotency poor and wretched;

The other, for the anarchy absurd.

CRITES

But lady,  for the revellers themselves

It would be better, in my poor conceit, 35

That others were employed; for such as are

Unfit to be in Cynthia’s court can seem

No less unfit to be in Cynthia’s sports.

ARETE

That,  Crites, is not purposèd without

Particular knowledge of the goddess’ mind; 40

Who, holding true intelligence what follies

Had crept into her palace, she resolved

 Of sports and triumphs; under that pretext,

To have them muster in their pomp and fullness,

That so she might more strictly, and  to root, 45

Effect the reformation she intends.

CRITES

I now conceive her heavenly drift in all,

And will apply my spirits to serve  her will;

O thou, the very power by which I am,

And but for which it were in vain to be; 50

Chief, next Diana, virgin, heavenly fair,

Admired Arete, of them admired

Whose souls are not  enkindled by the sense,

Disdain not my chaste fire, but feed the flame

Devoted truly to  thy gracious name. 55

ARETE

Leave to suspect us; Crites  well shall find

As we are now most dear, we’ll prove most kind.

Hark, I am called.   [Exit.]

CRITES

I follow instantly.

 Phoebus Apollo, if with ancient rites

And due devotions I have ever hung 60

Elaborate paeans on thy golden shrine,

Or sung thy triumphs in a lofty strain,

Fit for a theatre of gods to hear:

And thou the other son of mighty Jove,

 Cyllenian Mercury, sweet  Maia’s joy, 65

If in the busy tumults of the mind

My path thou ever hast illuminèd,

For which thine altars I have oft perfumed

And decked thy  statues with  discoloured flowers:

Now  thrive invention in this glorious court, 70

That not of bounty only, but of right,

Cynthia may grace, and give it life by  sight.   [Exit.]

5.6       [Enter] HESPERUS, CYNTHIA, ARETE, TIMÈ, PHRONESIS, [and] THAUMA.

 The Hymn

HESPERUS

 Queen and huntress, chaste and fair,

Now the sun is laid to sleep,

Seated in thy silver chair,

 State in wonted manner keep;

Hesperus entreats thy light, 5

Goddess excellently bright.

 Earth, let not thy envious shade

Dare itself to interpose;

Cynthia’s shining orb was made

Heaven to clear, when day did close: 10

Bless us then with wishèd sight,

Goddess excellently bright.

Lay thy bow of pearl apart,

And thy crystal-shining quiver;

Give unto the flying  hart 15

Space to breathe, how short soever;

Thou, that mak’st a day of night,

Goddess excellently bright.

 [Exit Hesperus.]

CYNTHIA

 When hath  Diana, like an envious  wretch

That  glitters only to his  soothèd self, 20

Denying to the world the precious use

Of hoarded wealth, withheld her friendly aid?

Monthly we spend our  still-repairèd  shine,

And not forbid our  virgin-waxen torch

To burn and blaze while nutriment doth last; 25

That once consumed, out of Jove’s treasury

A new we take, and stick it in our sphere

To give the mutinous  kind of wanting men

Their looked-for light. Yet  what is their desert?

 Bounty is wronged, interpreted as due; 30

Mortals can challenge not a ray  by right,

Yet do expect the whole of Cynthia’s light.

But if that deities withdrew their gifts

For human follies, what  could men deserve

But death and darkness?  It behoves the high 35

For their own sakes to do things worthily.

ARETE

Most true, most sacred goddess; for  the heavens

Receive no good of all the good they do;

Nor Jove, nor you, nor other heavenly power

Are fed with fumes which do from incense rise, 40

Or sacrifices  reeking in their gore;

 Yet for the care which you of mortals have,

Whose proper good it is that they be so,

You well are pleased with odours redolent:

But ignorant is all the race of men, 45

Which still complains, not knowing why or when.

CYNTHIA

Else, noble Arete, they would not blame

And tax  for or unjust, or for as proud,

Thy Cynthia in the things which are indeed

The greatest glories in our starry crown: 50

Such is our chastity, which safely scorns

Not love — for who more fervently doth love

Immortal honour and divine renown? —

But giddy  Cupid, Venus’ frantic son.

 Yet Arete,  if by this  veilèd light 55

We but discovered —  what we not discern —

Any the least of imputations, stand

Ready to sprinkle our unspotted  fame

With note of lightness from these revels  near:

Not for the  empire of the universe 60

Should night or court,  this whatsoever shine

Or grace of ours,  unhappily enjoy.

Place and occasion are two  privy thieves,

And from poor innocent ladies often steal

The best of things: an honourable name. 65

To stay with follies, or where faults may be,

Infers a crime, although the party free.

ARETE

How  Cynthianly — that is, how worthily

And like herself — the matchless Cynthia speaks!

Infinite jealousies, infinite  regards, 70

Do watch about the  true virginity;

But  Phoebe lives from all not only fault,

But as from thought, so from  suspicion free.

Thy presence  broad-seals our delights for pure;

What’s done in Cynthia’s sight is done secure. 75

CYNTHIA

That then so answered, dearest Arete,

 What th’argument, or of what sort our sports

Are like to be this night, I not demand.

 Nothing which duty and desire to please

Bears  written in the forehead comes amiss; 80

But  unto whose invention must we owe

The complement of this night’s furniture?

ARETE

Excellent goddess, to  a man’s, whose worth,

Without hyperbole, I thus may praise:

One, at least, studious of deserving well, 85

And, to speak truth, indeed deserving well;

Potential merit stands for actual

Where only opportunity  doth want,

Not will, nor power; both which in him abound.

One whom the Muses and Minerva love. 90

For whom should they  than Crites more esteem,

Whom  Phoebus, though not Fortune, holdeth dear?

And, which  convinceth excellence in him,

A principal admirer of yourself.

Even through th’ungentle injuries of fate, 95

And difficulties, which do virtue choke,

Thus much of him appears. What other things

Of farther note do lie unborn in him,

Them I do leave for  cherishment to show,

And for a goddess graciously to judge. 100

CYNTHIA

We have already judged him, Arete.

Nor are we ignorant how noble minds

Suffer too much through those indignities

Which times and vicious persons cast on them.

 Ourself have ever vowèd to esteem 105

As virtue for itself, so, fortune base;

Who’s first in worth, the same be first in place.

Nor farther notice, Arete, we crave

Than thine approval’s sovereign warranty:

  Let’t be thy care to make us known to him, 110

Cynthia shall brighten what the world made dim.

 5.7 The First Masque

[  Enter] to them CUPID like     ANTEROS [presenting a crystal. PHILAUTIA as STORGE, GELAIA as AGLAIA, PHANTASTE as EUPHANTASTE, and MORIA as APHELEIA are visible in the masque. The masquers carry imprese with mottoes. ]

CUPID

[As Anteros] Clear pearl of heaven, and not to be farther ambitious in titles,

Cynthia. The fame of this  illustrious night, among others, hath also drawn

these four fair virgins from the palace of their queen,  Perfection — a word

which makes no sufficient difference ’twixt hers and thine — to visit thy

imperial court; for she, their sovereign, not finding where to dwell among 5

men, before her return to heaven, advised them wholly to consecrate themselves

to thy celestial service, as in  whose clear spirit — the proper element

and sphere of virtues — they should behold not her alone, their ever honoured

mistress, but themselves, more  truly themselves, to live  enthronized. Herself

would have commended them unto thy favour more particularly, but that 10

she knows no commendation is more available with them than that of proper

virtue. Nevertheless, she willed them to present this crystal  mound, a note

of monarchy and symbol of perfection, to thy more worthy deity; which as

here by me they most humbly do, so amongst the  rarities thereof, that is the

chief, to show whatsoever the world hath excellent, howsoever remote and 15

various. But your  irradiate judgement will soon discover the secrets of this

little crystal world. Themselves, to appear  more plainly, because they know

nothing more odious than false pretexts, have chosen to express their several

qualities thus in several colours.

 The first, in  citron colour, is Natural Affection, which given us to procure 20

our good, is sometime called  Storge, and as everyone is  nearest to himself,

so this handmaid of Reason, allowable self-love, as it is without harm, so are

none without it; her place in the court of Perfection was to quicken minds

in the pursuit of honour. Her  device is a  perpendicular level upon a cube or

square. The  word,  se suo modulo, alluding to that true measure of one’s self, 25

which as everyone ought to make, so is it most conspicuous in thy divine

example.

 The second, in green, is  Aglaia, delectable and pleasant Conversation,

whose property  is to move a kindly delight, and sometime not without

laughter. Her office to entertain assemblies, and keep societies together with 30

fair familiarity. Her device within a ring of clouds, a heart with shine about

it. The word,  curarum nubila pello, an allegory of Cynthia’s light, which no less

clears the sky than her fair mirth the heart.

 The third,  in the discoloured mantle spangled all over, is  Euphantaste,

a well-conceited Wittiness, and employed in honouring the court with the 35

riches of her pure invention. Her device upon a  petasus, or mercurial hat, a

crescent. The word,  sic laus ingenii, inferring that the praise and glory of wit

doth ever increase as doth thy growing moon.

 The fourth, in white, is  Apheleia, a nymph as pure and simple as the

soul, or as  an abrase table, and is therefore called Simplicity; without folds, 40

without  pleats, without colour, without counterfeit, and, to speak plainly,

plainness itself. Her device is  no device. The word under her silver shield,

 omnis abest fucus, alluding to thy spotless self, who art as far from impurity as

from mortality.

Myself, celestial goddess, more fit for the court of Cynthia than the 45

arbours of   Cythere, am called Anteros, or Love’s Enemy; the more welcome

therefore to thy court and the fitter to conduct this   quaternion, who as they

are thy professed votaries, and for that cause adversaries to Love, yet thee,

perpetual virgin, they both love and vow to love eternally.

   5.8 [  Cynthia looks into the crystal. ]

CYNTHIA

 Not without wonder, nor without delight,

Mine eyes have viewed in contemplation’s depth

 This work of wit, divine and excellent.

What shape, what substance, or what unknown power,

In virgin’s habit crowned with  laurel leaves 5

And  olive branches woven in between,

On  sea-girt rocks  like to a goddess shines?

O  front! O face! O all celestial sure

And more than mortal! Arete, behold

 Another Cynthia, and another queen, 10

Whose glory, like a lasting  plenilune,

Seems ignorant of what it is to wane!

Not under heaven an object could be found

More fit to please. Let Crites   make approach.

Bounty forbids to   pall our thanks with stay, 15

Or to defer our favour after view:

 The time of grace is, when the cause is new.

 [Enter] CRITES.

ARETE

 Lo, here the man, celestial  Delia,

Who, like a  circle bounded in itself,

Contains as much, as man in fullness may. 20

Lo, here the man, who, not of usual earth,

But of that  nobler and more precious  mould

Which Phoebus’ self doth temper, is composed;

And who,  though all were wanting to reward,

Yet to himself he would not wanting be; 25

Thy favour’s gain is  his ambition’s most,

And labour’s best; who, humble in his height,

Stands fixèd silent in thy glorious sight.

CYNTHIA

With no less pleasure than we have beheld

This precious crystal, work of rarest wit, 30

Our eye doth read thee, now  enstyled, our Crites;

Whom learning, virtue, and our favour last,

Exempteth from the gloomy multitude.

With common eye the  supreme should not see.

Henceforth be ours, the more thyself to be. 35

CRITES

Heaven’s purest light, whose orb may be eclipsed,

But not thy praise, divinest Cynthia,

How much too narrow for so high a grace

 Thine, save therein, the  most unworthy Crites

Doth find himself! Forever  shine thy fame, 40

Thine honours ever, as thy beauties do;

In me they must, my dark world’s chiefest lights,

By whose propitious beams my powers are raised

To hope some part of those most lofty points

Which blessèd Arete hath pleased to name 45

As  marks, to which  m’endeavour’s steps should bend;

Mine, as begun at thee, in thee must end.

 5.9  The Second Masque

[Enter] MERCURY as a page. [AMORPHUS as EUCOSMOS, HEDON as EUPHATHES, ANAIDES as EUTOLMOS, and ASOTUS as EUCOLOS are visible as MERCURY presents them, fitted out with suitable heraldic devices. ]

MERCURY

Sister of Phoebus, to whose bright orb we owe that we not complain of

his absence; these four brethren — for they are brethren and sons of  Eutaxia,

a lady known and highly beloved of your resplendent deity — not able to

be absent when Cynthia held a  solemnity,  officiously  insinuate themselves

into thy presence; for, as there are four  cardinal virtues upon which the 5

whole frame of the court doth move, so are these the four cardinal properties

without which the body of  compliment moveth not. With these four silver

 javelins, which they bear in their hands, they support in princes’ courts the

state of the  presence, as by office they are obliged; which though here they

may seem superfluous, yet for honour’s sake they thus presume to visit thee, 10

having also been employed in the palace of Queen Perfection. And though

to them, that would make themselves gracious to a goddess, sacrifices were

fitter than presents or   impresas, yet they both hope thy favour, and, in place

of either, use several  symbols containing the titles of thy imperial dignity.

 First, the hithermost, in the  changeable blue and green robe, is the 15

commendably  fashioned gallant,  Eucosmos; whose courtly habit is the grace

of the presence and delight of the surveying eye; whom ladies understand by

the names of Neat and Elegant. His symbol is  divae virgini, in which he would

express thy deity’s principal glory, which hath ever been virginity.

 The second, in the rich accoutrement and robe of purple  impaled 20

with gold, is  Eupathes; who entertains his mind with an harmless but

not  incurious variety. All the objects of his senses are sumptuous, himself

a gallant that without excess can make use of  superfluity, go richly

in  embroideries, jewels, and what not, without vanity, and  fare delicately

without gluttony; and  therefore, not without cause, is universally thought 25

to be  of fine humour. His symbol is  divae optimae, an attribute to express thy

goodness in which thou so resemblest Jove, thy father.

 The third, in the blush-coloured suit, is  Eutolmos, as duly respecting

others as never neglecting himself; commonly known by the title of Good

Audacity; to courts and courtly assemblies, a guest most acceptable. His 30

symbol is  divae viragini, to express thy hardy courage in chase of savage beasts

which harbour in woods and wilderness.

 The fourth, in  watchet-tinsel, is the kind and truly  benefic  Eucolos,

who imparteth not without respect, but yet without difficulty; and hath the

happiness to make every kindness seem  double, by the timely and freely 35

bestowing thereof; he is the chief of them who, by the vulgar, are said to be of

good nature. His symbol is  divae maximae, an  adjunct to signify thy greatness,

which in  heaven, earth, and hell is formidable.

 5.10  The Masques join and they  dance.

CUPID

Is not that Amorphus, the  traveller?

MERCURY

 As though it were not? Do you not see how his legs are in  travail with

a measure?

CUPID

Hedon, thy master, is next.

MERCURY

What, will Cupid turn  nomenclator and cry them? 5

CUPID

No, faith, but I have  a comedy toward that would not be lost for a kingdom.

MERCURY

In good time, for  Cupid will prove the comedy.

CUPID

Mercury, I am studying how to  match them.

MERCURY

How to  mismatch them were harder.

CUPID

 They are the nymphs must do it; I shall sport myself with their passions 10

 above measure.

MERCURY

Those nymphs  would be tamed a little indeed, but I fear thou hast

not arrows for the purpose.

CUPID

Oh, yes, here be of all sorts,  flights,  rovers, and  butt-shafts. But I can

wound with a  brandish and never draw bow for the matter. 15

MERCURY

I cannot but believe it, my  invisible archer, and yet methinks you are

tedious.

CUPID

It behoves me to be somewhat circumspect, Mercury, for if Cynthia hear

the twang of my bow, she’ll  go near to whip me with the string. Therefore,

to prevent that, I thus discharge a brandish upon — it makes no matter which 20

of the couples. Phantaste and Amorphus, at you.

MERCURY

Will the shaking of a shaft strike ’em into such a fever of affection?

CUPID

As well as the wink of an eye. But I pray thee hinder me not with thy

prattle.

MERCURY

Jove forbid I hinder thee! Marry, all that I fear is Cynthia’s presence, 25

which, with the cold of her chastity, casteth such an  antiperistasis about the

place that no heat of thine will tarry with the patient.

CUPID

It will tarry the rather, for the antiperistasis will keep it in.

MERCURY

I long to see the experiment.

CUPID

Why their  marrow boils already,  or they are all turned eunuchs. 30

MERCURY

Nay, and’t be so, I’ll give over speaking, and be a spectator only.

 The first  strain done.

AMORPHUS

Cynthia, by my bright soul, is a right exquisite and  splendidious

lady; yet Amorphus, I think, hath seen more fashions, I am sure more

countries; but whether I have or  not, what need we gaze on Cynthia that

have ourself to admire? 35

PHANTASTE

Oh, excellent Cynthia! Yet if Phantaste sat where she does and had

such a  tire on her head (for attire can do much) I say no more — but goddesses

are goddesses, and Phantaste is as she is! I would the revels were done once,

I might go to my  school of glass again and learn to do myself right after all

this  ruffling. 40

MERCURY

How now, Cupid? Here’s a wonderful change  with your brandish! Do

you not hear how they dote?

CUPID

What prodigy is this? No word of love? No mention? No motion?

MERCURY

Not a word, my little     ignis fatue, not a word.

CUPID

Are my darts enchanted? Is their vigour gone? Is their virtue — 45

MERCURY

What? Cupid turned jealous of himself? Ha, ha, ha!

CUPID

Laughs Mercury?

MERCURY

Is Cupid angry?

CUPID

Hath he not cause, when his purpose is so  deluded?

  MERCURY

A rare comedy; it shall be entitled Cupid’s. 50

CUPID

Do not scorn us, Hermes.

MERCURY

 Choler and Cupid are two fiery things; I scorn ’em not. But I see that

come to pass which I  presaged in the beginning.

CUPID

You cannot tell; perhaps the physic will not work so soon upon some as

upon others. It may be the rest are not so  resty. 55

MERCURY

 Ex ungue, you know the old adage: as these, so are the remainder.

CUPID

I’ll try; this is the same shaft with which I wounded Argurion.

MERCURY

Ay, but let me save you a labour, Cupid; there were certain bottles of

water fetched and drunk off, since that time, by these gallants.

CUPID

Jove, strike me into earth! The Fountain of Self-Love! 60

MERCURY

Nay, faint not, Cupid.

CUPID

I remembered it not.

MERCURY

Faith, it was ominous to take the name of  Anteros upon you; you

know not what charm or enchantment lies in the word. You saw I durst not

venture upon any device in our  presentment, but was content to be no other 65

than a simple page. Your arrows’ properties, to keep  decorum, Cupid, are

suited, it should seem, to the nature of him you  personate.

CUPID

Indignity not to be borne!

MERCURY

 Nay, rather an attempt to have been forborne.

CUPID

[Aside] How might I revenge myself on this insulting Mercury? There’s 70

Crites, his minion; he has not tasted of this water. It shall be so. —

 The second strain.

Is Crites turned  dotard on himself too?

MERCURY

That follows not, because the venom of your shafts cannot pierce him,

 Cupid.

CUPID

As though there were one antidote for these, and another for him? 75

MERCURY

As though there were not! Or as if one effect might not arise of diverse

causes? What say you to Cynthia, Arete, Phronesis, Timè, and others there?

CUPID

They are divine.

MERCURY

And Crites aspires to be so.

CUPID

But that shall not  serve him. 80

MERCURY

’Tis  like to do  it at this time. But Cupid is grown too covetous, that

will not spare one of a multitude.

CUPID

 One is more than a multitude.

MERCURY

Arete’s  favour makes anyone shot-proof against thee, Cupid.

 The third strain.

I pray thee, light  honey-bee, remember thou art not now in  Adonis’ garden, 85

but in Cynthia’s presence, where thorns lie in garrison about the roses. Soft,

Cynthia speaks.

 5.11

CYNTHIA

  Ladies and  gallants of our court, to end

And give a timely  period to our sports,

Let us conclude them with  declining night;

Our empire is but of the  darker half;

And if you judge it any recompense 5

For your fair pains, t’have earned Diana’s thanks,

Diana grants them, and bestows their  crown

To gratify your acceptable zeal.

For you are they that not, as  some have done,

Do  censure  us as too severe and sour, 10

But as, more rightly, gracious to the good;

Although we not deny, unto the proud

Or the profane, perhaps indeed austere;

For so  Actaeon, by presuming far,

Did, to our grief, incur a fatal doom; 15

And so,  swoll’n  Niobe, comparing more

Than  he presumed, was    trophied into stone.

But are we therefore judgèd too extreme?

Seems it no crime to enter sacred bowers

And hallowed places with impure  aspect 20

Most lewdly to pollute? Seems it no crime

To  brave a deity?  Let mortals learn

To make religion of offending heaven,

And not at all to censure powers divine.

To men, this argument should stand for firm, 25

 A goddess did it, therefore it was good.

We are not cruel, nor delight in blood.

But what have serious  repetitions

To do with revels and the sports of court?

We not intend to sour your late delights 30

With harsh expostulation.  Let’t suffice

That we take notice and can take revenge

Of these calumnious and lewd blasphemies;

For we are no less Cynthia than we were,

Nor is our power, but as ourself,  the same, 35

 Though we have now put on no tire of shine

But mortal eyes undazzled may endure.

Years are  beneath the spheres, and time makes weak

Things under heaven, not powers which govern heaven.

And though ourself be in ourself secure, 40

Yet let not mortals  challenge to themselves

Immunity from thence. Lo, this is all:

 Honour hath store of spleen, but wanteth gall.

Once more, we  cast the slumber of our thanks

On your ta’en toil, which here let take an end. 45

And that we not mistake your several worths,

Nor you our favour; from yourselves remove

What makes you not yourselves, those clouds of  mask;

Particular pains, particular thanks do ask.

  They unmask.

 How! Let me view you! Ha? Are we  contemned? 50

Is there so little awe of our disdain

That any, under trust of their disguise,

Should mix themselves with others of the court?

And, without  forehead, boldly press so far,

 As  farther none? How apt is lenity 55

To be abused? Severity to be loathed?

And yet, how much more doth the seeming face

Of neighbour virtues, and their borrowed names,

Add of lewd boldness to loose vanities?

Who would have thought that Philautia durst 60

 Or have usurpèd noble Storge’s name,

Or with that theft have  ventured on our eyes?

Who would have thought that all of them should hope

So much of our  connivance as to come

To grace themselves with titles not their own? 65

Instead of med’cines, have we maladies?

And such  impostumes as Phantaste is

Grow in our palace? We must  lance these sores,

Or all will putrefy. Nor are these all,

For we suspect a farther fraud than this; 70

Take off our veil that shadows may depart

And shapes appear, belovèd Arete. [She is unmasked] — So.

Another  face of things presents itself

Than did of late. What, feathered Cupid masked,

And masked like  Anteros? And stay! More strange! 75

Dear Mercury, our  brother, like a page,

To countenance the  ambush of the boy?

Nor endeth our discovery as yet;

Gelaia like a nymph that but erewhile

In male attire did serve Anaides? 80

Cupid came hither to find sport and game,

Who, heretofore, hath been too conversant

Among our train, but never felt revenge;

And Mercury bare Cupid company.

Cupid, we must confess this time of mirth, 85

Proclaimed by us, gave opportunity

To thy attempts, although no  privilege;

Tempt us no farther, we cannot endure

Thy presence longer; vanish, hence, away!

[  Exit Cupid.]

You, Mercury, we must entreat to stay, 90

And hear what we determine of the rest;

For in this plot  we well perceive your hand.

But — for we mean not a  censorian task

And yet to lance these ulcers grown so  ripe —

Dear Arete and  Crites, to you two 95

We give the  charge; impose what pains you please;

Th’incurable cut off, the rest reform;

Rememb’ring ever  what we first decreed,

Since revels were proclaimed, let now none bleed.

ARETE

How well Diana can  distinguish times 100

And sort her censures! Keeping to herself

The doom of gods, leaving the rest to us!

Come,  cite them,  Crites, first and then proceed.

CRITES

First  Philautia, for she was the first,

Then light Gelaia in Aglaia’s name, 105

Thirdly Phantaste, and Moria next,

 Main follies all, and of the female  crew;

Amorphus, or Eucosmos counterfeit,

Voluptuous Hedon ta’en for Eupathes,

 Brazen Anaides, and Asotus last, 110

With his two pages, Morus and Prosaites;

And thou, the  traveller’s evil, Cos, approach,

Impostors all, and male deformities —

ARETE

Nay, forward, for I delegate my power,

And  will that at thy mercy they do stand 115

Whom they so oft so plainly scorned before.

’Tis virtue which they want, and wanting it,

Honour no garment to their backs can fit.

 Then, Crites, practise thy discretion.

CRITES

Adorèd Cynthia, and bright Arete, 120

Another might seem fitter for this task

Than  Crites far, but that you judge not so;

 For I, not to appear  vindicative,

Or mindful of contempts, which I contemned

As done of impotence, must be remiss; 125

Who, as I was the author in some sort,

 To work their knowledge into Cynthia’s sight,

So should be much severer to revenge

 Th’indignity hence issuing to her name.

But there’s not one of these who are unpained, 130

Or by themselves unpunishèd; for vice

Is like a  fury to the vicious mind,

And turns delight itself to punishment.

But we must forward to  design their doom;

You are offenders, that must be confessed. 135

Do you confess it?

  ALL

We do.

CRITES

And that you merit sharp correction?

ALL

 Yes.

CRITES

Then we (reserving unto  Delia’s grace 140

Her farther pleasure, and to Arete

What Delia granteth) thus do sentence you.

That from this place, for  penance known of all,

Since you have drunk so deeply of self-love,

You, two and two, singing a  palinode, 145

March to your  several homes by Niobe’s stone,

And offer up  two tears apiece thereon;

That it may change the name, as you must change,

And of a stone be callèd  Weeping Cross;

Because it standeth cross of  Cynthia’s way, 150

One of whose names is sacred  Trivia.

And after penance thus performed, you pass

In like set order, not as  Midas did

To wash his gold off into  Tagus’ stream,

But to the well of knowledge, Helicon, 155

Where, purgèd of your present maladies,

Which are  not few nor slender, you become

Such as you fain would seem; and then return,

Off ’ring your service to great Cynthia.

This is your sentence, if the goddess please 160

To ratify it with her high consent;

The scope of wise mirth unto fruit is bent.

CYNTHIA

We do approve thy  censure,  belov’d Crites;

Which  Mercury, thy true propitious friend,

A deity, next Jove, belov’d of us, 165

Will undertake to see exactly done.

And for this service of discovery

Performed by thee, in honour of our name,

We vow to  guerdon it with such due grace

As shall become our bounty and thy place. 170

Princes that would their people should do well

Must at themselves begin, as at the   head;

For men by their example pattern out

Their imitations and  regard of laws:

 A virtuous court, a world to virtue draws. 175

[ Exeunt Cynthia and her nymphs, followed by Arete, Crites, and Mercury.]

 Palinode  

AMORPHUS

From  Spanish shrugs, French faces, smirks,  irpes, and all affected

humours.

CHORUS

Good Mercury  defend us!

PHANTASTE

From secret friends, sweet servants, loves, doves, and such fantastic

humours. 5

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

AMORPHUS

From  stabbing of arms,  flap-dragons,  healths,  whiffs, and all such

swaggering humours.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

PHANTASTE

From waving of fans, coy glances,  glicks,  cringes, and all such 10

simpering humours.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

AMORPHUS

From making love  by attorney,  courting of puppets, and paying for

new acquaintance.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us! 15

PHANTASTE

From  perfumed dogs,  monkeys,  sparrows,  dildos, and  paraquitos.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

AMORPHUS

From wearing  bracelets of hair, shoe-ties, gloves, garters, and rings

with  posies.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us! 20

PHANTASTE

From  pargeting, painting,  slicking,  glazing, and renewing old

 rivelled faces.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

AMORPHUS

From  squiring to tilt-yards, playhouses, pageants, and all such

public places. 25

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

PHANTASTE

From entertaining one gallant to gull another, and making fools

of either.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

AMORPHUS

From  belying ladies’ favours, noblemen’s countenance, coining 30

counterfeit employments, vain-glorious taking to them other men’s services,

and all self-loving humours.

CHORUS

Good Mercury defend us!

  Song

Now each one dry his weeping eyes,

And to the well of knowledge haste; 35

Where purgèd of your maladies,

 You may of sweeter waters taste:

And with refinèd voice report,

The grace of Cynthia and her court.

   The Epilogue

[Enter EPILOGUE.]

  EPILOGUE

Gentles, be’t known to you, since I went in

I am turned rhymer, and do thus begin:

The author,  jealous, how your sense doth take

His travails, hath enjoinèd me to make

Some short and ceremonious epilogue; 5

But if I yet know what, I am a rogue:

He ties me to such laws, as quite distract

My thoughts, and would a year of time  exact.

I neither must be faint, remiss, nor sorry,

Sour, serious, confident, nor peremptory: 10

But betwixt these. Let’s see; to lay the blame

Upon the children’s action, that  were lame.

To crave your favour with a begging knee,

Were to distrust the writer’s faculty.

To promise better at the next we bring, 15

 Prorogues disgrace, commends not anything.

Stiffly to stand on this, and proudly approve

The play, might  tax the maker of Self-Love.

I’ll only speak what I have heard him say:

  ‘By  (—), ’tis good, and if you like’t, you may.’ 20

[Exeunt.]

the end

 Ecce rubet quidam, pallet, stupet, oscitat, odit.

Hoc volo: nunc nobis carmina nostra placent.

This  comical satire was first

acted in the year 25

1600

by the then  Children of Queen

Elizabeth’s Chapel.

The principal comedians were

    nathan field     john underwood 30

    salomon pavy     robert baxter

  thomas day   john frost.

With the allowance of the Master of Revels.

Title-page 12 Nasutum . . . polyposum Martial, 12.37.2: ‘I want a reader with a good nose [for good literature] — not one with a nose full of growths’, i.e. ingenious, but not over-ingenious, in his reading. Nasutus and Polyposus are used as the character names in Poetaster’s Apologetical Dialogue.
Dedication ] this edn; not in F1
Dedication 1 spring A widespread image for the relationship between prince or court and country. Lees-Jeffries (2007) cites numerous sixteenth-century examples, including Elyot, The Image of Governance (1556), E5v: ‘the prince’s palace is like a common fountain or spring to his city or country, whereby the people by the cleanness thereof be long preserved in honesty, or by the impureness thereof, are with sundry vices corrupted’.
3 glass mirror.
4–6 to grace . . . venerable From Seneca, Epistles, 115.3: Quanta esset cum gratia auctoritas! nemo illam amabilem qui non simul venerabilem diceret, ‘How great authority would be with grace as well! No one can call that lovable which is not at the same time venerable.’
6–7 not . . . object From Seneca, Epistles, 115.2: Nosti comptulos iuvenes, barba et coma nitidos, de capsula totos: nihil ab illis speraveris forte, nihil solidum, and loosely translated in Discoveries, 1009–10: ‘There is nothing valiant or solid to be hoped for from such as are always kempt and perfumed and every day smell of the tailor.’
7 converteth i.e. changes a courtier.
8 false light Picking up on light imagery within the play itself: see Zender (1978).
9 Cynthia Elizabeth, as opposed to Phoebus (James).
10–13 Now . . . nights Under James, you will produce further virtuous courtiers, unless you submit to self-love, and your days will be discovered in the way her nights were. Judson, Cynthia, argues the middle phrase is parenthetical, but actually the third phrase can be read either way: the discovery to be either welcome or unwelcome depending upon the court’s relationship to self-love. (The sentence is thus functionally ambiguous.)
14 servant . . . slave See Butler (1995), who argues that this phrase goes to the heart of Jonson’s uneasy relationship with the court throughout his career.
3.1 The long addition to the dialogue between Amorphus and Asotus (Jonson’s 25–58) is the first extensive recasting of Q.
1 disgallant deprive of gallantry. Apparently a Jonsonian coinage.
2 grammatical As if still at grammar school. OED has no exact parallels, but the examples under ‘Grammatist’ n. indicate the patronizing flavour.
3 neophyte new convert (literally, one newly planted). Controversially used in the Rheims Bible (1582) to transliterate 1 Timothy, 3.6’s ν∊όφυτος, and clearly having the force of a neologism in Jonson’s day (OED). A favourite word of early Jonson, interesting in the light of its associations with a Catholic Bible. See also 3.4.54; and cf. EMO, 5.3.6; and Poet., 1.2.97.
3 player Cf. Donne, Satires, 4: ‘[In the Presence] All are players’.
3.1 4 interview] Q, F1 (enter-view)
4 interview Q’s ‘enter-view’ invites a false alternative etymology: ‘a view on entering’.
5 out i.e. at a loss for words; like ‘property’ (9), a theatrical term.
7 politic] F1 (politique); Politician Q
7 bastinado A Turkish punishment, involving being beaten on the soles of the feet.
8–9 beaten . . . world A pun, since this phrase is used as praise of an experienced courtier in Plutarch, as translated by Philemon Holland, The Philosophy, commonly called the Morals (1603), 390: ‘one, who hath been trained and employed all the days of his life in politic affairs and thoroughly beaten to the world, and the administration of the common-weal’.
9 property Here used to mean ‘outfit’, but with overtones of a theatrical costume.
12 Erect your mind Rouse yourself up (OED, Erect v. 5).
13 courtship courtly behaviour.
13 against in preparation for.
16 caviar See Q 2.3.80–1n.
18 recalled] F1; remembred Q
19 rush From the floor matting. Carlo in EMO advises Sogliardo to ‘pick your teeth when you cannot speak’ (1.2.47).
20 business Perhaps also a theatrical term, meaning stage action, although OED’s first example is 1671.
24 forspoke bewitched.
25–58 I must . . . colours] F1; not in Q
26 ordinaries taverns. Such behaviour is recommended by Carlo in EMO, 3.1.393–400.
28 of . . . coat Idiomatic: ‘of that sort’.
33–4 it is . . . own i.e. you can say it yourself. Jonson frequently attacks such theft: e.g. Epigr. 56, 81, 100.
37 light crowns Clipped coins, which are not legal tender.
37 primero A card game. Amorphus imagines that having received substandard coins, one might as well use them for gambling, in the hope of winning other people’s legal tender. Quicksilver practises a similar subterfuge in East. Ho!, 1.1.32ff.
39 shifting age Era of desperate measures.
41 Put case Suppose (a legal term).
41 property As at 3.1.9, a term with theatrical overtones, reducing the courtier to an accessory.
43 breathe exercise.
45 impudent.] F1 (impudent. —)
49 hearken find.
49 vein streak of genius (belonging to someone else).
49 pay . . . silence Such allegations of ghostwriting were current in the Renaissance, but Jonson’s phrasing also recalls Martial, 1.66.13–14: Aliena quisquis recitat et petit famam, / non emere librum, sed silentium debet, ‘Anyone who recites verses written by others and seeks fame for doing so, should not really buy the [ghostwriter’s] writings: he should buy their silence.’ Loewenstein (2002) discusses the importance of Martial to Jonsonian conceptions of intellectual property.
51 give out advertise.
52 countenance grace (OED, v. 4).
53 your best i.e. your best way, as at Volp., 2.3.12.
58 colours A three-way pun. The word implies: (1) health (cf. 55); (2) the military meaning as the symbol of one’s regiment (OED, n. 7b); (3) the use of coloured ribbons as love tokens, as in 5.2–5.4.
58 now] F1; not in Q
59 of your repulse] F1; not in Q
60 frame form.
61 hangings wall hangings.
61 surprising your eye] F1; your eye taking Q
62 routed] F1; disordred Q
63–4 And . . . Anaides] F1; not in Q
3.4 F1 develops Q’s version of this dialogue, adding a long passage (22–41), and amplifying some of the subsequent caricatures. This scene is similar to, indeed perhaps based on, Donne, Satires, 4.175ff., another representation of the grotesque types found in the Elizabethan presence chamber. See Blissett (2001) for discussion of the relationship between the texts. But it is hard to make a convincing one-on-one fit between Crites’s list and the foolish courtiers of the play, since he is satirizing types rather than individuals.
3.4 1 drawn forth] F1; spent Q
2 jealous i.e. anxious for your welfare.
5 diffused disordered.
6 strains streaks of colour (OED, n.3).
8 distasted disgusted.
11 convolved coiled together.
11 this thrifty room Since Act 3 takes place in a room near the presence chamber (see headnote to 3.1), perhaps Crites gestures to indicate it offstage.
11 thrifty fertile. OED, adj. 4c lists this as the sole occurrence meaning physically small, however, the imagery is rather of fertility growing out of control, closer to OED, adj. 3. Cf. Thomas Powell, Virtue’s Due (1603), C3v, imagining Elizabeth as the sun, and the court as mud warmed by her: ‘the rank, and thrifty slime beneath, / Where honour’s heat begets the parasite, / And other monstrous shapes’.
12 stalks Often used of the gait of an animal (OED, v. 4b), but also carrying theatrical overtones: Crispinus in Poet. writes in a ‘new stalking strain’ (Cain, Poet., 3.4.165 and n.).
12 me by by me.
12 spangled Wearing clothing covered with spangles, small pieces of glittering metal used as adornments on expensive clothing (OED, Spangle n. 1).
13 handfuls handsbreadths; a measure of about four inches (OED, n. 3).
13 foretop The top of the head.
16 dark and doubtful Ambiguously, as oracles were famed for doing.
17 stitch sudden pain (OED, n.1 2).
18 chronicle The courtier is imagined as constantly making notes to himself, as Hamlet does (Ham., 1.5.107).
19 regist’ring himself i.e. writing notes down about himself. Sir Politic Would-be demonstrates, at length, such behaviour (see Volp., 4.1.133–4).
20 mimics buffoons (OED, n. 1).
20 panders pimps.
20 parasites hangers-on.
22 He past When he has gone past.
22–41 appears . . . him] F1; not in Q
22 mincing affectedly dainty; often applied to gait, as at MV, 3.4.67: ‘I’ll . . . turn two mincing steps into a manly stride.’
22 marmoset Literally, a small monkey, but often used as a derogatory term for an unimpressive man.
24 act vital spark (OED, n. 3).
25 motion ‘The action of the body in walking, running, etc.’ (OED, n. 3c). Crites imagines these limbs as having a non-human intelligence which instructs them how to move in ways that they were not created to.
28 t’unstarch Implying his whole look is fixed in place with stiffening starch.
29 make legs bow.
29 cringe bow. The idea that travel gives one, in effect, new gestural possibilities is also raised and mocked in Amorphus’s face-making activities. Cf. Barnabe Rich, Faults, Faults (1606), C4: ‘if at his return he hath but some few foolish phrases in the French, Spanish, or Italian language, with the Bazelos Manos, the duck, the mump, and the shrug, it is enough’. Similarly in Brome, The Antipodes, ed. Haaker, 1.3.62: ‘Who’s not familiar with the Spanish garb, / Th’ Italian shrug, French cringe, and German hug?’
31 taking walls When two people passed on the street, etiquette set that the more privileged would ‘take the wall’, the drier and more pleasant side away from the centre of the road (OED, Wall n. 16a).
32 court commonplaces collections of court etiquette.
34 usher Assistant schoolteacher (OED, n. 4).
35–6 giving nods . . . creditors Potts (1954), 297, sees a conscious parody in Tro., 1.2.185–7: ‘Cres. Will he give you the nod? / Pan. You shall see. / Cres. If he do, the rich shall have more.’ This requires attention, since, if true, it would constitute evidence (otherwise entirely lacking) that the F1 additions were in circulation before 1609. However, the parallel is too weak and general for this conclusion.
38 ambition Pronounced as four syllables.
39 itchy palms A sign of greed. Cf. JC, 4.3.10, where Brutus is ‘much condemned to have an itching palm’.
40 Which i.e. The gold.
41 buffoons’] F1 (buffons)
42 meets] F1; comes Q
42 Proteus Greek god of the sea, famed for his shape-shifting abilities. Again, no particular courtier is discernible.
44 serves the time follows whatever fashion or faction is in the ascendant.
46 cross opposite (to his previous face).
47 heads i.e. of the factions.
48–52 one . . . worth Imitating (and in Q, finally quoting) Juvenal, Satires, 1.73–5: Aude aliquid brevibus Gyaris et carcere dignum, / si vis esse aliquid. Probitas laudatur et alget. / Criminibus debent hortos praetoria mensas, ‘Dare something deserving prison and narrow Gyara [a prison-island], if you want to amount to anything. Honesty is praised, and then freezes. They owe their gardens, palaces, and tables to their crimes.’
49 hurdle Sledge on which Elizabethan traitors were drawn through the streets to the place of execution.
49 wheel An instrument of torture: a giant wheel, to which a prisoner was tied, and which broke his arms and legs as it rolled over him. Crites’s imagination characteristically mixes classical past and Elizabethan reality.
52 ] F1; Criminibus debent hortos, praetoria, mensas Q
53 This] F1; Tut, this Q
54 glazing making sleek.
55 Pruning Sprucing up. Cf. Praeludium, 164–5.
55 ] F1; not in Q
56 Against In preparation for when (OED, prep. 19).
56 his idol i.e. his mistress. Cf. TGV, 2.4.144: ‘Pro. Was this the idol that you worship so? Val. Even she.’
57 Like the speaker of a prologue who has got to ‘third music’ (the cue for the prologue to start) without having memorized his lines. Cf. EMO, Induction, 273–5.
58 confederate jests rehearsed collaborative witticisms.
59 In passion Passionately.
60–1 bids . . . seem] F1; and then seemes Q
62 kiss . . . hand Cf. LLL, 5.2.323–5.
63–4, 67 ] F1; not in Q
63 off] F1 (of)
63 wreathed with his arms crossed. A typical pose of the melancholy lover (as in the Newbattle Abbey portrait of John Donne).
65 swims Cf. Q 2.4.41.
66 Plays . . . paps While this would now be perceived as sexual assault, it clearly carried milder overtones in Jonson’s day. At Devil, 2.6.70 SD, Wittipol ‘Grows more familiar in his courtship, plays with her paps, kisseth her hands, etc.’, but it is still courtship.
66 pumps Light indoor shoes. This fashionable affectation is described in EMO, 4.1.59, and Poet., 1.2.37.
67 knots Ornamental bows on her dress (OED, Knot, 2a).
68 patrimony inheritance.
71 Divides . . . show Act intervals in late Elizabethan theatre were often marked with dumb shows.
73 six] this edn; sixt F1
80 tires headdressings.
80 take place find their ceremonial place or seating.
83 cobweb (1) a light fabric (OED, n. 6), and clearly taken in this sense by Dekker in Satiromastix (see headnote to 3.3, and Hoy, 1980, 1.215); (2) figuratively, something flimsy and untrustworthy, like the ‘cobweb bosoms’ of Cat., 4.5.21.
85 Arachnean The skilled weaver Arachne was transformed to a spider after her vanity led her into a weaving contest with Pallas Athene (Ovid, Met., 6.1–145). Like Arachnean workers (spiders), the ladies are making insubstantial cobweb stuff. Like her, they are driven by vanity.
85 gentle] F1; not in Q
91 Timè and Phronesis See Q Number and Names of the Actors, 20n., 22n.
92 name Arete hints at the subject of the masque, which does indeed explore the meanings of Cynthia’s names (cf. F1 5.9.15–38). Devotion to her name also recalls the Catholic practice for the Name of Mary, here re-engineered to apply to a goddess who is both pagan and Protestant.
93 invention artistic creation. Specifically, the choice of subject or fable for a poem or masque. See Sidney, Astrophil and Stella, 1.6, and Gordon (1975).
94 illustrous An alternative spelling of ‘illustrious’, which suggests more clearly the connection with ‘lustre’. Cf. 5.7.2, where the more usual spelling is preferred.
104 regard reputation.
107 SD] Q; not in F1
4.1 In F1 as in Q, the stage is continuously occupied throughout Act 4, with the additional material making this sequence even longer than in Q. The location is apparently ‘the nymphs’ chamber’ (3.5.112); it is not the presence chamber (4.1.61).
4.1 ] F1 (Act IIII. Scene I.)
1–2 I wish the water would arrive that Amorphus has so recommended to us. The precise meaning of ‘once’ is unclear. Phantaste appears to be using it as a petulant equivalent of ‘if only’: the event only needs to happen once for her to be happy.
1 travelling] F1 (trauailing)
3 travail (1) travel; (2) labour: a laboured pun.
5 courtier The sense is ‘ladies of the court’.
7 sprinkled . . . mercury Mercury was a beauty treatment applied to the face (see Q 1.1.16 and n.).
9 They i.e. Philautia’s lips.
9 charge Philautia is one of Moria’s charges in her capacity as Mother of the Maids (Q Praeludium, 56 and n.).
11 an eminent] F1; a imminent Q
13 far-fet i.e. fetched from afar; with allusion to the proverb: ‘Dear bought and far fetched [things] are dainties for ladies’ (Tilley, D12).
13–14 by their stay i.e. Their delay in returning is an indication that they have had to travel far to get the water.
15 palate The roof of the mouth, considered in the Renaissance as the organ responsible for taste: nonsensically, Moria seems to offer hers as part of a bet.
16 gear thing, i.e. the water.
18 rebato ‘A kind of stiff collar worn by both sexes from about 1590 to 1630’ (OED). See also Hoy (1980), 1.204–5.
18 rebato] F1 (rebatu)
21 grown . . . garb Literally, outgrown his clothing.
21 alate lately.
23 converted changed.
24 ’tis an animal i.e. Hedon; ‘’tis’ is a Latinism, agreeing with ‘animal’, which in Latin has a neuter gender. See also 4.5.19n.
25 ingeniously spiritedly.
25 ingeniously] F1; ingenuously Q
26 Laura Beloved of Petrarch, addressed in his widely influential Canzoniere, and frequently used in Renaissance literature for an idealized female beloved.
26 Delia Primarily, the heroine of Samuel Daniel’s widely-read sonnet sequence of the same name (1592). In Und. 27, Jonson discusses the names Laura and Delia, and recalls the association of Delia with Tibullus. Also, ‘Delia’, ‘from Delos’, is properly a title of Cynthia (see 5.8.18). In arrogating to herself one of Cynthia’s names, Philautia commits an act of lese-majesty.
27 she gave him Philautia gave Hedon.
30–2 ’tis . . . him Philautia says it is Anaides who has corrupted Hedon. (She elides ‘who has’.)
31 coach-horse A horse used for drawing coaches. Used as a metaphor for arrogance by Marlowe, Tamburlaine, Part II, 4.3.51–2: ‘To restrain / These coltish coach-horse tongues from blasphemy’. Changed from ‘tilt-horse’ in Q.
31 coach-horse] F1; tilt-horse Q
31 draws The men are imaged as a pair of horses yoked together (OED, v. 2).
34 ’em] F1 state 2 (’hem); them F1 state 1, Q
36 run over’em Phantaste invites the other ladies to consider the male courtiers one by one, and they appear to be looking at pictures (see 58n., 64n.), in the manner of Marston, Antonio and Mellida, 5.1, or Ham., 3.4.51, where Hamlet invites Gertrude to compare the portraits of Old Hamlet and of Claudius. Again, by analogy with those plays, one cannot say whether the portraits are miniatures or images big enough to be visible to the audience. Either has obvious comic potential, both here and (if they remain on stage) throughout the rest of the sequence.
37 properest handsomest.
37 traveller] F1 (trauailer)
39 Venetian trumpeter Changed from ‘Dutch’ in Q.
39 Venetian] F1; Dutch Q
39–40 battle of Lepanto A sea battle off the coast of Greece in 1571, where the combined Papal, Spanish, Venetian, and Genoese fleets, led by Don John of Austria, inflicted a major defeat on the Turks, checking their expansionist ambitions. The victory was celebrated in many works of art of the period.
41 comes . . . fashion i.e. is always behind the times in dress sense; also used of Shallow in 2H4, 3.2.307.
47 in a key This comments on the pitch of Anaides’s voice, which is apparently at once deep and squeaking. It was interpreted by Jonson’s contemporary Edmund Pudsey, in his common place book, c. 1600–13, as describing ‘slow speech’ (Gowan, 1967, 315), but Steggle (2003) argues that the voice of the actor who plays Anaides and Third Child is breaking.
48 post-boy’s horn ‘Remarkable, no doubt, for its loud and strident tone’ (Judson, Cynthia). One is used by Truewit in Epicene, 2.1.
52 sea-monster . . . rock] F1; squeez’d Orenge, sower, sower Q
52 Andromeda Her mother having displeased Poseidon, Andromeda was chained to a rock to be devoured by a sea-monster, but was saved by Perseus (Ovid, Met., 4.662–751). F1’s revision, a seemingly gratuitous simile, possibly a reference to Chapman’s Andromeda Liberata (1614), adds an Ovidian reference to a play already full of them.
56–7 they . . . night Implying that Anaides wears shin pads to make his legs look more muscled. Davenant, Love and Honour (1634, printed 1649), 8, suggests that this is infra dig: ‘She kept another shop / Under St Maudlin’s wall, and quilted ushers’ calves.’
58 pictures This could be taken as merely metaphorical, a derogatory term for the male courtiers (OED, 4a), but it more naturally implies that the ladies are looking at pictures of some sort (see 36n.).
58 love’s] F1; Gods Q
60 Cupid has caused Argurion to be in love with Asotus. In view of 4.3.39, it is tempting to supply some stage business here, in which, unnoticed by the other characters, Cupid (still disguised as a page) wounds Argurion with a love arrow, either by touching her with it or merely by brandishing it at her. See 4.3.39 and n., and 5.10.15 and n.
61 made . . . one i.e. suggested to Argurion that she should favour one courtier (Crites) over the others.
64 poor] F1; little, poore Q
64 there Crites, of course, is offstage, and takes no part in these scenes, so that this line seems to clinch the suggestion that the ladies are looking at portraits. Similarly, at 71, for Asotus.
68–9 persuade . . . scholar An allegorical joke. Only under the influence of Moria (Folly or Error), would Argurion (Money) be attracted to a scholar.
68–9 to affect] F1; affect Q
76 white hand Indicates that Asotus is not a labourer: cf. Und. 2.9.25–6.
79 copy portrait.
80–3 Such . . . eyes!] F1; not in Q
84–5 i.e. Argurion dotes on Asotus even more than his dead father, Philargyrus, doted on her. Philargyrus’s love for Argurion is implicit in his name.
86 the young gentleman Asotus.
88 barber-surgeon Not really a compliment, as they were not members of a gentlemanly profession.
90 sayed tried (OED, v.2 3). The tailor Nick Stuff and his wife engage in this activity in New Inn, 4.3.
90–1 His . . . or —] F1; not in Q
91 squeezed orange Implying a sour expression, or possibly, bad skin; an insult aimed in Q at Anaides, rather than Asotus (see Q 4.1.52).
93 servant male admirer (here, Asotus).
94–6 though . . . gull] F1; not in Q
97 place, and occasion Pointedly echoed at 5.6.63.
98 ensure assure. Not a malapropism: see OED, v. 3.
99 relinquish disappear (OED, v. 5).
100 future experience A paradoxical conundrum, like much of what Moria says.
100 exhibition Literally, display, or financial support; presumably, another malapropism.
103 marchpane marzipan; proverbially sweet (OED, n. 1b).
103 you] F1; not in Q
106–63 This game, added in F1, represents (like the others) a debased version of the games played in Castiglione’s The Courtier.
106–63 phantaste . . . it] F1, (subst.); not in Q
107 Juno In Ovid, Juno was responsible for some metamorphoses, notably, for the context of this play, that of Echo. However, the self-centred Phantaste fails to appreciate how little say the victims have in determining their final form.
109 wise-woman ‘Female magician’ according to the OED, but wise women were important figures in the daily life of a local community, giving advice on a range of sexual and domestic matters. See Thomas (1971).
112 by coach] F1 state 1; coach F1 state 2
113 scabbed Implies syphilis.
113–15 which lady . . . it Imitated from Martial, 9.37.1–5: Cum sis ipsa domi mediaque ornere Subura, / fiant absentes et tibi, Galla, comae, / nec dentes aliter quam Serica nocte reponas, / et iaceas centum condita pyxidibus, / nec tecum facies tua dormiat, ‘While you yourself are at home, Galla, your clothing belongs in the middle of the Subura, and your hair is absent from you too, and you lie stored in a hundred caskets, and your face does not sleep with you.’ Also imitated in Epicene, 4.2.74–83; and see 115–18n in this present text.
115–18 There . . . way Cf. Juvenal, Satires, 6.402–6: Haec eadem novit quid toto fiat in orbe, / quid Seres, quid Thraces agitant, secreta novercae / et pueri, quis amet, quis diripiatur adulter; / dicit quis viduam praegnantem fecerit et quo / mense, quibus verbis concumbat quaeque, modis quot, ‘This woman knows what is happening the whole world over, what the Chinese and the Thracians are up to, the secrets of stepmother and stepson alike, who is in love, what adulterer is being seized: she tells you who has made the widow pregnant and in what month, and what each woman says while having sex, and in how many ways she has it.’ Imitated again, and combined again with the preceding passage from Martial, at Sej., 1.304–10.
116 verge ‘An area subject to the jurisdiction of the Lord High Steward, defined as extending to a distance of twelve miles round the king’s court’ (OED, n.1 10a).
120 friend This can have the modern meaning, but frequently, as here, means ‘lover’ (OED, n. 4); as Leontes observes at WT, 1.2.109: ‘To mingle friendship far is mingling bloods.’
121 jigged the cock To jig is ‘to jerk to and fro or up and down’ (OED, v. 2b). H&S see ‘cock’ as an innocent reference to the tap of a beer barrel, i.e. drunkenness; but Gifford more convincingly assumes it to be bawdy.
126 beck command, as in ‘beck and call’.
128 have done ‘a coarse equivoque’ (H&S) for the act of sex. Cf. Und. 88.1: ‘Doing a filthy pleasure is, and short.’
130 poison This implies corrosives applied to the face, as for Sidney’s Parthenia, whose beauty is destroyed by ‘poison’ rubbed over her face by an unsuccessful suitor (New Arcadia, 90).
133 miscellany madams OED, Miscellany n. 1, follows Nares and glosses this as a woman who trades in trinkets, but no other parallel use has been found. Marmion’s Holland’s Leaguer (1632), L3v, a play which has a heavy verbal influence from early Jonson and from Cynthia in particular, has a character called Miscellanio, ‘my piece of fragmentary courtship, / My miscellany gentleman’ who is a fashion adviser and arbiter of taste, modelled on Cynthia’s Amorphus, rather than a retailer of goods. Perhaps, then, Phantaste is here imagining for herself a role as a female arbiter of taste in the style of Amorphus; cf. 142–4.
138–9 dairy-wench . . . as a] F1 state 2; not in F1 state 1
139 syllabubs Desserts made from sweetened cream.
139–40 up to . . . motions i.e. to London during the legal terms, to see the puppet shows; like Sogliardo in EMO, Characters, 63.
141 shifts desperate measures (OED, n. 5e).
141 others’ miseries Presumably, the miseries of those she flirts with. For instance, Shakespeare’s Wiv., like much later city comedy, revolves around the motif of citizens’ wives leading on, but not giving in to, potential seducers. As with the idea of being a ‘shepherd’s lass’ (135), Phantaste’s imagination reflects the genres of late Elizabethan literature.
142 taste . . . her i.e. sample her delights beforehand to ensure they are not poisoned; with bawdy overtones (OED, v. 6c, 3b).
143 tires headdresses.
145 shapes roles.
147 save . . . ’em not lose myself in them. ‘This motif forms the kernel of some of Jonson’s greatest characters’ (Wiltenburg, 1980, 11).
150 centre . . . meet For the idea of love as a circle collecting lines of love, cf. Love’s Tr., 111–14: ‘Deign to receive all lines of love in one – / And by reflecting of them fill this space – / Till it a circle of those glories prove, / Fit to be sought in beauty, found by Love.’
151 prove test.
152 complexions This may suggest skin colour, as at MV, 2.7.79, where Portia dismisses her suitor the Prince of Morocco: ‘Let all of his complexion choose me so.’ But it also refers to humoral make-up as a whole, as discussed by Floyd-Wilson (2003).
153 object The thing towards which the love is directed, here Phantaste herself. She is not interested in the power of love per se, but in her own power, demonstrated through love.
153–4 choleric . . . phlegmatic The four different sorts of man according to humours theory. Again, Love’s Tr. offers a similar anatomization of lovers.
155–6 how . . . outward i.e., how love could cause different externally visible effects: the consequences of the internal changes described in 153–5.
156 gallant] F1 state 2; galland F1 state 1
157 play-ends fragments of plays. Cf. Q 3.5.94 and n., and also Epigr. 53.
158 stabbing himself Cf. Palinode, 7 and n.
159 coloured ribbons See 5.2 headnote.
159 ribbons] F1 (ribbands)
4.2 ] F1 (Act IIII. Scene II.)
0 SD] F1 (Hedon, Anaides, Mercvrie, Phantaste, / Philavtia, Moria, Argvrion, / Cvpid.)
4.2 1 spirit that moves The court again borrows the language of puritanism (cf. Q 2.4.4–5 and n.).
8 distitle take away the title. Not recorded anywhere else. See Q 3.5.23n.
14 engross buy up wholesale.
15 seek out look elsewhere.
18 Prudence A nickname for Moria. Cf. ‘Wisdom’ (26).
21 have at ’em here goes.
24 travailed with aimed at. Anaides’s seizing of the initiative annoys Hedon, presumably since it is accompanied by action breaking etiquette on when to rise and kiss (mentioned explicitly at Q 3.4.56–9).
25 brazen head According to legend, the medieval mage (magus) Roger Bacon created a brass head to speak prophecies. However, it was slow to speak, and due to the negligence of Bacon’s servant, it was not answered. The story is dramatized in Greene’s Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay (1594). Phantaste’s reference implies that she and the other ladies are pointedly ignoring Anaides.
26 interpret speak for: the usual word for a narrator at a puppet show. Cf. Bart. Fair, 3.4.111, where the word is correctly applied to Leatherhead, and 5.4.87, where Cokes offers to ‘interpret’ the puppets to Wasp. Again, the implication is that the ladies are refusing to speak to Anaides.
27–35 Moria tries to make peace, first by chastising the ladies for their disrespect to ‘the gentleman’ Anaides (27–31), then by chastising him for his disrespect for them (32–5).
29 caroches A synonym for ‘coaches’, the word used in Q.
29 caroches] F1; Coaches Q
30 paraquitos parakeets, which, like monkeys (Q 2.1.29), were fashionable luxury pets.
31 connive take no notice (in Q, predating OED’s earliest example, 1602). The word is mocked, probably unfairly, by Dekker as a Jonsonian affectation, in Satiromastix, 2.2.17–20, where Asinius says: ‘I was but at barber’s last day, and . . . did but cry out, fellow thou makst me connive too long, and says he says he, Master Asinius Bubo, you have e’en Horace’s words as right as if he had spit them into your mouth.’
33 close] F1; loose Wh
33 close and open ‘Close’ suggests ‘secret’, and ‘open’ implies sexual availability. Moria’s language is paradoxical; and Whalley’s conjecture, ‘loose’, is unnecessary.
33 happily perhaps (OED, adv. 1).
33 suspend A malapropism for ‘suspect’.
36 SH] Q; Mor. F1
4.3 ] F1 (Act IIII. Scene III.)
0 SD] F1 (Amorphvs, Asotvs, Hedon, Anaides, / Mercvrie, Cvpid, Phantaste, / Philavtia, Argvrion, / Moria.)
4.3 3 engallanted made a gallant; not found except in this play.
4 favoursome Otherwise unattested in OED.
5 bevy ‘The proper term for a company of maidens or ladies’ (OED, n. 1).
7 gratify thank.
9 returned] F1; spoken Q
9 vail Take off my hat; or bow.
10 to yours i.e. to Phantaste’s. Amorphus and Phantaste are the natural leaders of their groups, and fittingly end up paired with each other in the masque and palinode. Philautia is jealous because Amorphus greets Phantaste before her.
11 all to very much (OED, All n. 15). The obsolete prefix ‘to’ means ‘asunder’: hence there is a suggestion of destructive excess about the construction.
11 bequalify ascribe qualities to (OED, sole example).
14 out of except by.
14–15 dictionary method For the phrase, cf. Sidney, Astrophil and Stella, 15.5–6, mocking: ‘Ye that do dictionaries’ method bring / Into your rhymes, running in rattling rows’ (i.e. alliteration). For the idea, cf. Guilpin, Skialetheia (1598), 5.143, describing a courtier as a ‘Dictionary of Complements’.
19–20 A conversation between Argurion and Asotus has already begun in dumb show. Once Cupid draws attention to it, Jonson makes it audible to the audience when Argurion has evidently just given permission to Asotus to love her.
19 ambiguous Cf. Q 3.5.85.
19–20 by this handkerchief The first of a series of contrived oaths similar to those rehearsed in Q 3.5.
20 handkerchief] F1 (hand-kercher)
29 Say you What did you say?
31 by this watch ‘Watches, at this time, were scarce and dear, and seem to have confirmed some kind of distinction on their owners’ (Gifford, on Alch., 1.2.6–7). Asotus gives the watch away at 354.
31 mar’l marvel.
31 forward advanced (in time).
32 deeper later (OED, Deep adj. 15; sole example).
32 past five i.e. late afternoon. The joke is that Asotus is distracted by his own watch, thus spoiling the compliment. One of a series of indications of the passing of time in the play, which is set over a single day. See Kallich (1942).
33 addicted devoted.
39 struck Traditionally, Cupid would achieve this by firing an arrow at the victim. But in this play he only needs to brandish an arrow at the person involved, as at 5.10.14–21. He may have performed such a trick on Argurion already, on stage, the most propitious moment for the action being perhaps around 4.1.60.
41 this disguise Cupid claims, with false and mischievous modesty, that because he is pretending to be a page, he cannot exercise his divine powers. Cf. 5.10.63–7, where Mercury suggests that disguise leads to a temporary loss of such powers. Also, on a more practical note, Cupid’s current dress does not include a bow and arrows; but perhaps he is carrying a concealed arrow.
44 Nay] F1; Tut Q
45 lade load.
47 diamond This is the diamond given to him (35), and which he gives away (333).
48 pearl Asotus swears by one of the pearls on the chain she has just given him, which he gives away (333).
49 a wanton spoiled.
54 if . . . apparel Literally, if you were in charge of drying his clothes. The implication is that Mercury would steal them, since clothes hung outside were a favourite target of thieves (cf. WT, 4.2.5–8), and all his other trappings of wealth.
54 coz] F1 (couss’)
55 Loving We are to imagine a mimed speech by Argurion, while we have listened to Cupid and Mercury, in which she asks Asotus whether he will be loving to her. He so promises, but is immediately then distracted by the other courtiers.
58 fungoso ‘mushroom’ (It.), and hence upstart, but also a Jonsonian self-reference: Hedon and Anaides condemn Asotus by comparing him to Fungoso, the upstart law student in the recently acted EMO.
58 that . . . yesterday] F1; I warrant you Q
58 above the cupboard In a formal dining room, with the guests seated in order of precedence, to be sat higher up the table than the cupboard was a marker of relative social success. Cf. the reference to those seated ‘below the salt’ at Q 2.2.72–3, and also Sir John Roe, ‘To Sir Nicholas Smith’, 103–5: ‘Hear how the ushers’ cheques, cupboard and fire / I passed; by which degrees young men aspire / In Court’ (quoted from Donne, 1912, 1.405).
60 the deluge Noah’s flood.
60 deluge . . . Troy-action] F1; first year of the siege of Troy Q
60 Troy-action Siege of Troy. Periphrasis for ‘a long time ago’.
61 right-handed fortunate; the opposite of sinister, or left-handed.
63 sport’s] F1; gods Q
63 purposes A party game mentioned in Castiglione, The Courtier, Book 1. Favoured by Paridell as a seduction technique, in Spenser, The Faerie Queene, 3.10.8.6. Edward Philips, Mysteries of Love and Eloquence (1685), [319], describes the rules: each player whispers a question to the player next to them who comes up with an answer. The questions and answers are then recited in the wrong order, so that they are amusingly at cross purposes. See also OED, ‘Cross-purposes’ n., and Crane (1920) on the origin and spread across Europe of such games.
63 ho] F1 (hough)
64 prophecies As shown at Q 2.2.47–52.
67 Substantives and adjectives A party game also mentioned by Marvell, Rehearsal Transposed (1672), 1.70: ‘They seem like the words of Cabal, and have no significance till they be deciphered. Or, you would think he were playing at Substantives and Adjectives.’ The rules are: Phantaste thinks of a noun, and the players (without knowing what it is) state an adjective. Each in turn has to explain why their choice is appropriate, before Phantaste offers an etymology of her noun. Described by Philips, Mysteries of Love and Eloquence, [322]. Crane (1920), 534, discusses general models for these games, but finds no precise source for this one. While in the play the game grinds to an unamusing halt, the satire continues on the false values of the gallants.
69 sirs Used here to address a mixed audience of men and women (OED, n. 9).
70 do . . . change i.e. do not change your choice of substantive. Phantaste is of course notoriously fickle.
83 ‘well-spoken’ Asotus’s choice of adjective is, fittingly, not original, but echoes Amorphus and Hedon.
90 incident . . . variety i.e. breeches do not always smell the same. Another paradoxical answer from Moria.
92 Popular Pejoratively implying ‘uncourtly’, as the answer shows.
95 common stages A category which excludes Blackfriars, a private theatre. Cf. Q Praeludium, 144–5n.
95 brokers’ stalls stalls selling second-hand clothes.
100 She . . . breeches Proverbial for a domineering woman (Tilley, B645; OED, Breech n. 2).
102 white-livered (1) having white insides (Anaides’s first line of reasoning in 103–5); (2) cowardly (his second).
104 swaggering wild or disreputable.
104 pocket up Ambiguous: (1) accept an insult meekly; (2) receive into their pockets, implying the owner is stealing (OED, Pocket v. 2, 3).
106 must not] F1; cannot Q
108 you . . . barber Nashe, Lenten Stuff, in Works, 3.148, describes a gallant who has not paid his barber for a year settling his debts in small change and ‘a cast riding jerkin and an old Spanish hat into the bargain, and God’s peace be with him’. Cf. also Asotus’s payment to his pedant at Q 3.5.78–80.
109 Pythagorical Relating to Pythagoras (c. 569–c. 475 bc), mathematician and philosopher. Amorphus’s answer, like the song in Volp., 1.2, or EMI (Q), 3.4.147, refers to the Pythagorean belief that souls would undergo ‘transmigration’ or reincarnation in a series of different physical forms.
121–2 whatsoever . . . well-spoken Proverbial. Cf. Henry Porter, Two Angry Women of Abingdon (1599), B1v: ‘She speaks it scornfully, i’faith I care not. Things are well spoken, if they be well taken.’ It is not clear in what sense Asotus imagines breeches speaking: by the elegance of their design or by farting (OED, Speak v. 7, to emit a loud noise). Perhaps both senses are present, or none.
126 quasi as if (Lat.).
128–66 ] F1; not in Q
129–30 No specific source has been found for this game, which is another of F1’s additions. Philips, Mysteries of Love and Eloquence, [321], describes ‘The Crab, or a thing done, and who did it’, but as his only illustration is this passage, it is not independent corroboration. As happens earlier in the scene, the humour lies precisely in the fact that the game itself is so thoroughly unentertaining. It is particularly striking, then, that it should appear in the very conduct manuals that the rest of Cynthia satirizes.
136 about on all sides (OED, adv. 1a).
140 play game (OED, n. 8).
142 abide the venture take the risk.
146 heat-drops Drops of rain on a hot day, or figuratively, sweat or transient tears.
150 progress The summer travels of Elizabeth, and her court, around her kingdom. It is unclear in what sense, if any, Cynthia/Diana could go on progress.
152 paned slops i.e. breeches made up of ‘panes’, squares, of material of various colours.
152 paned] F1 (pain’d)
154 glyster enema, or else the pipe or syringe used to administer one.
156 traveller] F1 (trauailer)
165 Phantaste’s point is that Asotus has failed, either through embarrassment or incompetence, to say his line at the appropriate moment.
167 these . . . whipped i.e. those wretched (unhappy) pages have delayed (stayed) so long, that it is as if they’re wanting to receive a whipping as a punishment. The ‘pages’ are Prosaites and the rest, who have gone to fetch the water.
169 A mild oath expressing agreement.
171 Venus] F1; God Q
171 my whore Gelaia.
180 sufficient As at Q 3.5.85, a malapropism by Asotus.
183 SD] Q (at 181); not in F1
184 cockatrices mistresses; OED’s first example of the metaphorical sense; it literally is a fabulous monster. Used again at 4.4.11.
185 cut her throat Anaides imagines wounding Gelaia by inflicting a shallow slash across her skin, not quite deep enough to sever the windpipe or a major blood vessel (186), but to be a warning.
186 SD] Q; not in F1
187 hermaphrodite Literally, a creature who can be of both genders at once, and therefore appropriate to the cross-dressing Gelaia (OED, n. 1b).
189 struck struck silent, or, possibly, struck ill. Cf. the ominous silence at the banquet in Poet., 4.5.158–60.
190 love’s sake] F1; Gods will Q
190 lyra (1) harp-like stringed instrument of Ancient Greece, of which Mercury was traditionally identified as the inventor; (2) the lyra viol. Chan (1980), 58, notes that a new form of the lyra viol, with sympathetic metal strings beneath the fingerboard, was becoming fashionable around 1600.
196 knees To whose knees is Amorphus referring? ‘Knee’ can mean an angular piece of wood (OED, n. 7), thus he may kiss the instrument; however, the audience and the other characters onstage could share a moment of alarm and uncertainty before this is revealed.
200–11 See the Music Edition, Electronic Edition, for the settings of Hedon’s song in MS Christ Church, Oxford Mus. 439, and in the Henry Lawes MS (BL Add. MS. 53723, f.5), ‘possibly made for a revival of the play’ (Chan, 1980, 58), although there is no evidence that Cynthia was performed after 1601. The Christ Church setting is crudely mimetic of the words, in a way which mocks the advice given by Italian music theorists such as Zarlino and their English followers such as Morley: ‘You must then when you would express any word signifying hardness, cruelty, bitterness, and other such like make the harmony like unto it, that is somewhat harsh and hard . . . Likewise when any of your words shall express complaint, dolour, repentance, sighs, tears, and such like let your harmony be sad and doleful’ (Plain and Easy Introduction, 1597, 290–1). But ‘Hedon has taken the rules for “setting” too literally; and this, coupled with the fact that the words contain very little “wisdom” worth expressing in any case, creates a setting which is little more than a string of musical cliches, of affective devices’ (Chan, 1980, 61).
198 ‘The Kiss’] this edn; the Kisse F1
199 SD Song] F1; Ode Q
200 SH] F1 at 212
212 the note the tune, as opposed to the ‘ditty’ or lyrics. Cf. AYLI, 5.3.36: ‘There was no great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable.’
215 ‘die’ note The note on which the word ‘die’ is sung, which lasts for four full bars in the Christ Church MS setting.
215 ‘die’ note] F1 state 1 (die-note); dic-note F1 state 2
215 arride gratify. Cf. Q 3.5.67n.
222 emperor Amorphus is, of course, lying, but his phraseology implies the Holy Roman Emperor Rudolph II. The ‘Landgrave’ (German title for a count) at 224 would then suggest the German ruler, the Landgrave of Hesse, and the ‘Count Palatine’ (literally, a count attached to an imperial palace) would suggest the Prince Elector of the Rhine.
224 Orleans] F1 (Orleance)
225 counts] F1; Earles Q
226 the emperor detained i.e. while the Emperor was detained (a construction modelled on the Latin ablative absolute).
226 exorbitant] F1; other Q
228 the beauteous] F1; I encountred the Q
230 travel] F1 (trauaile)
231 swooned] F1; sounded Q
233 lips] F1; mouth Q
234 mourningly] F1; needes Q
235 sued] F1 (sew’d)
237 high-born] F1; great and Q
237 feature] F1; Creature Q
240 if] F1; and Q
242 draw on lead to.
246 glove Songs addressed to a mistress’s glove were a love-poetry convention. Cf. Sidney, Old Arcadia, 148: ‘Sweet glove, the witness of my secret bliss’; and Barnes, Parthenophil and Parthenope (1593), Ode 6: ‘Oh fair sweet glove / Divine token / Of her sweet love / Sweetly broken’. Sidney’s glove is ‘done with murrey silk and gold lace’; Amorphus’s is more likely to be as poor and battered as his hat (Q 1.4.137). Chan (1980), 58, notes that ‘No setting of Amorphus’s song is extant.’
246 golden legacy] F1; not in Q
247 velvet] F1 (vellet)
248 state principal persons (OED, n. 26).
248 presented me with] F1; gaue me Q
249 gave] F1; gaue it Q
249 that] F1 state 2, Q; who F1 state 1
250 reserving] F1; reseruing, and respecting Q
251 SD] F1; Ode Q
260 doves Emblematically associated with Venus, goddess of love and Cupid’s mother.
261 Love’s,] this edn; loues, F1
264 Blasphemy A pun: (1) in a figurative sense, an outrageous thing to say; (2) in an appropriate theological sense, Cupid himself is the god whose name the song has taken in vain.
267 I . . . admit I don’t mind if I do admit.
267 admit] F1; do Q
270 SD] in margin in F1; not in Q
272 mammothrept ‘brought up by one’s grandmother’ (Gr. μαμμόθρ∊πτος), and hence a spoilt child. This use seems to have caused some confusion, for Richard Brathwaite took over the term but employed it to mean a severe critic: ‘What strict mammothrept that man should be, / Who has done Chaucer such an injury’ (The Smoking Age, 1617, O2v).
273 affected sought after, cultivated.
274 quantity Cf. English Grammar, 1.3.1–2: ‘all our vowels are . . . in quantity (which is time), long or short’. Amorphus, like Hedon, adheres to fashionable neoplatonic ideas of decorum in musical setting (Chan, 1980).
276–7 minim . . . breve Musical notes, of different duration: a breve is four times the length of a minim.
276 through] F1 (thorow)
277 breve] F1 (briefe)
280 here be they i.e. there are people here who.
284 depart withal part with. Amorphus carries at least two manuscripts of the song in his pockets, which betrays that his apparently impromptu performance was in fact carefully rehearsed. He distributes by them to those whom he wishes to impress, as a form of cultural currency, in pointed contrast to all Asotus’s expensive items.
285 Honour’s Philautia’s. (See 198.)
286 SH Both Q and F1 give this line to Phantaste, although it would more naturally belong to Philautia. In either case, 287 implies that Philautia has refused to hand over the manuscript.
286 SD who . . . page] in margin in F1
288 circle A metaphor from magic, picking up on ‘conjured’.
289 ’Slud By God’s blood; an oath.
289 upo’] F1 state 2 (vpo’); upon F1 state 1; of God o’ Q
289 travelling] F1 (trauailing)
289 face] F1; Beard Q
292 musk-cat Insult against someone wearing too much perfume, as at Marston, What You Will, in Plays (1938), 2.269.
293 debauched] F1; not in Q
294 frapler blusterer.
296 tuftaffeta Taffeta with a pile or nap arranged in tufts (OED).
297 the other] F1; th’other Q
297 and a . . . hose] F1; not in Q
298 Hercules Mythological hero, often depicted carrying a large club, and featured in Pleasure Rec.
299 you . . . chin] F1; not in Q
299 pencil Small tuft of hair (OED, n. 3).
299–300 garter . . . guts Not original to Jonson (not in Tilley, but see OED, Gut n. 1b).
300 SD] Q; not in F1
303 he lacks crowns Anaides is short of money. Hedon wrongly states that Anaides is only pretending to be angry.
303 crowns] F1; mony Q
304 SD] in margin in F1; Enter Asot. Mor. Morus. Q
306 picture Asotus’s desire for the picture reflects his attraction to Moria (and corresponding neglect of Argurion). It is not absolutely necessary to have Moria’s picture onstage, although the scene would be funnier. Perhaps the set of pictures referred to at 4.1.36 includes female as well as male courtiers.
307, 310, 315, 317 SH] F1 state 3 (Morv.); Mor. F1 states 1–2
312 Cupid asks incredulously if Asotus really has taken Morus into service as his page (which he has done, in lines 173–9).
312 fool i.e. Morus, ‘the simpleton’.
313 beggar i.e. Prosaites, Asotus’s other page.
314 awhile] F1; not in Q
316 Asotus and Argurion are once again talking aside in dumb show, from which Asotus breaks away at 323.
318 verity] F1; very truth Q
318 purse Presumably the one mentioned at 4.3.23.
319 dog Moria is fond of dogs. See Q 2.4.17–20 and n.
319 he says,] F1; not in Q
321 groping exploiting. The metaphor could be OED, v. 3c: ‘To handle (poultry) in order to find whether they have eggs’, but the phrase is idiomatic: see Hoy (1980), 1.223.
323 love’s] F1; Gods Q
325 God’s] Q; God F1
330–3 The speech rehearsed at Q 3.5.49–51.
331 pleasures . . . sports . . . attire] F1; pleasure . . . sport . . . Attyres Q
333 diamond Both comic, and symbolic, since Argurion gave it to him (at 4.3.35) to wear in remembrance of her.
336 Argurion weakens as Asotus gives away her gifts.
339–40 glove . . . garter Judson, Cynthia, compares to S. Rowlands, Doctor Merrie-Man (1609), C3v, where female courtiers mention giving gloves and garters as favours. The importance of the gift of the glove – the one material item received by Asotus in return for the money he has spent – is emphasized by Amorphus’s earlier song. There are two staging alternatives: either Philautia does actually gives Asotus her glove, or, perhaps more attractively, she merely recycles the one put on stage earlier by Amorphus, who seems to have lost interest in it now that it has served its purpose. That is a sign of his shifting, improvisatory nature, while it would be characteristic of Philautia to avoid giving away anything that was her own; and the presentation to Asotus of a poor, battered glove would emblematize his Drugger-like gullibility.
344 rebatoes ornamental collars.
344 rebatoes] F1 (rebatu’s)
344 carcanets necklaces. See Q Praeludium, 60n.
346 Cupid wryly suggests that the gifts Asotus receives won’t really amount to much. ‘Shoe-ties’ are shoelaces, and ‘devices’ are mottos, things of small worth.
347 utter myself express myself well.
350 goldfinch An honorific title. This one carries an ironic double meaning, since ‘finch’ can mean ‘fool’. See Hoy (1980), 1.244.
351 Venus] Q; God F1
361 bracelets Presumably those given to Asotus by Argurion at 46.
364 consumption (1) wasting disease (OED, n. 4); (2) exhaustion of resources. Every time Asotus gives away some of his wealth, Argurion (money) becomes fainter.
366 Venus] F1; Lord Q
368 SD] in margin in F1
373 straight at once.
374 physic medicine.
375 SD] Q (Exeunt Asotus, Morus, Argurion); not in F1
4.4 ] F1 (Act IIII. Scene IIII.)
0 SD] F1 (Philavtia, Gelaia, Anaides, Cos, Pro- / saites, Phantaste, Moria, A- / morphvs, Hedon.)
4.4 2–5 Evidently, Gelaia and Anaides have been arguing before they come onstage about Gelaia’s behaviour and Anaides’s jealousy.
2 coil fuss.
4 for me for all I care.
5 poxed infected with syphilis. Cf. the idiom ‘I’ll see you hanged first.’
6 punk prostitute. Rarely used affectionately, but cf. Poet., 4.3.55, 4.5.64.
6 rascal Often used of women (OED, n. 3c).
9 intergatories Syncopated form of ‘interrogatories’: sets of written questions used to elicit witness statements. Also used in Sej., 1.314; Epicene, 4.7.14; and Staple, 5.4.37.
13 epitaphs A malapropism (changed from Q, which gives the correct word ‘epithets’), which anticipates and perhaps influences Sheridan’s use in The Rivals (1775), 3.3.
13 epitaphs] F1; Epithites Q
14 ensure assure (see 4.1.98n.).
17 Heart Elliptical form of ‘by God’s heart’; a mild oath (OED, n. 53).
19 ’Sblood By God’s blood.
20–1 worthiest . . .  court Seemingly contradicting Q Praeludium, 69–70, where Arete is called ‘a poor nymph of Cynthia’s train’.
21 court] F1; the Court Q
25 she Gelaia.
25 misprision misunderstanding.
25–6 But . . . minion It is unclear if this is addressed to Anaides or Gelaia.
26 SD] Q ; not in F1
27 the lady Argurion.
31 wait better Another stage in the allegorical joke: as Argurion (Asotus’s supply of money) grows sicker, Prosaites (the beggar) comes closer and closer to Asotus.
32 cashiered dismissed.
34 straight straight away.
40 ’Sblood] F1 (S’lood)
40 spirit of wine Cf. EMO, Induction, 302, where Carlo praises canary wine as ‘the very elixir and spirit of wine’. In both, the phrase is used as a vague term of praise rather than in its more normal sense as a chemical description.
4.5 ] F1 (Act IIII. Scene V.)
0 SD] Arete, Moria, Phantaste, Philavtia, / Anaides, Gelaia, Cos, Prosaites, / Amorphvs, Asotvs, Hedon, / Mercvrie, Cvpid. F1 state 2; Arete, Phantaste, Philavtia, Moria, / Anaides, Gelaia, Cos, Prosaites, / Amorphvs, Asotvs, Hedon, / Mercvrie, Cvpid. F1 state 1
4.5 1 bever A time for drinking, but also an afternoon snack. See Kallich (1942).
3–9 A complication of the plot from Q, where Arete merely tells the courtiers to spend the rest of the day preparing an entertainment for Cynthia for the evening. Arete’s contradictory instructions here explain the inclusion of both the trial of courtship and the masque.
3–7 Gallants . . . presence] F1; Gallants you must prouide for some solemne Reuels to night, Cynthia is minded to come foorth, and grace your sports with her presence; therefore I could wish there were some thing extraordinary to entertaine her Q
9 project] F1; Inuention or Proiect Q
10 Be you] F1; you will be Q
11 He . . . part.] F1; not in Q
12 But] F1; Yes; but Q
13 SD] Q; not in F1
18 extraction concentrated essence.
19 away with abide, get on with. Cf. Poet., 3.4.230.
19 ’tis A demeaning way to refer to Arete, as if she were a child or a thing. Cf. 4.1.24 and n. .
21 thought trifle; an ironic understatement.
22 ingenious and conceited i.e. full of intelligence and wit.
23 politic wise.
23 forehead (1) audacity; (2) modesty (OED, n. 2a, 2b). Moria cannot tell the difference.
24 I’d rather die than be Cynthia.
28 not I] F1; I not Q
28 invention Here, creativity. See also 3.4.93n.
28 afore him more than he.
29 infanted with pleasant] F1; not in Q
29 travail travel or labour. The line (expanded from Q) alludes to John Southern, Pandora (1584), Ode 1, 44–5, where poems must be ‘of an ingenious invention, / Infanted with pleasant travail’. Southern’s lines were quoted by Puttenham, The Art of English Poesy (1589), 211, as an example of affected gallicized language, and are in turn picked up and prized by the affected Amorphus.
34 construe Analyse and explain the grammar of.
34 an . . . quoted] F1; a peece of Horace Q
34 author The implication is a Latin or Greek author; it replaces Q’s ‘Horace’, perhaps because Jonson does not now want Anaides associated with him at all.
35 Hercules] F1; Gods will Q
35 sodden Literally, boiled; implies dullness. Anaides’s hypocrisy is revealed. Cf. 4.4.21–3.
35 e’en] F1; euen Q
38 contemned spurned.
40 courtship courtly manners and accomplishments.
42–3 make . . . myself i.e. commit suicide.
44 that any.
45 alter all this] F1 state 2; alter this F1 state 1, Q
46 The . . . seems] F1; not in Q
47 Oh . . . tickled] F1; O I shall tickle Q
47 tickled it i.e. cut a fine figure (OED, v. 8).
48 appear Asotus imagines his courtly encounter as the first appearance of his true self.
49 well, I] F1; I Q
49 our] F1; the Q
49 usher assistant teacher (OED, n. 4); here, an assistant teacher of dance.
50 school i.e. of dancing, presumably the one mentioned at Q 2.3.84.
51 measures . . . gods’] F1; measure, and ’tweere gods Q
51 SD] Q; not in F1
52 the lady Argurion.
57–79 ] F1; not in Q
58 glister shine.
58 An If.
58 An] F1 (And)
59 strain A passage of music (OED, n.2 13c); hence, dancing of this duration.
59 trick Feat of skill in dancing. As H&S note, Christopher Hatton’s rise as one of Elizabeth’s favourites was generally ascribed to his skill at dancing: see Althorp, 240–3.
62 projected planned. In conjunction with ‘multiply’, enables an alchemical metaphor, since projection is the final process which initiates the ‘multiplication’ of gold from base metals, as in Alch., 2.1.38–40.
63 Beauties . . . motion Contorted courtly language: Beautiful women and valiant men, I seek you to grant your support to my proposition.
64 delight The phrasing draws attention to the false etymology; the gallants cannot tell delight from moral illumination. See Zender (1978) for a discussion of light imagery in the play.
64 delight] F1 (de–light)
67–73 On the whole imaginative device of the trial of courtship, see Introduction. Briefly, Amorphus imagines courtly manners as itself a form of martial art on the analogy of fencing.
70 act More usually, the university word for the final viva voce disputation by which one gained one’s degree (OED, n. 8).
71 mystery skill or craft.
71 weapons Each of these consists of a courtly manoeuvre, and all four are stages in seducing a woman. See 5.3.74–6n.
75–7 Well . . . joy] F1; Gallants, thinke vpon your Time, and take it by the forehead Q
75 take . . . forehead Conventionally, Time was depicted with flowing locks on the front of her head only, meaning that she could not be seized once she had run past. Cf. Greene (1881–6), 9.311: ‘Take Time now by the forehead, she is bald behind.’
80–1 know myself Asotus comically misinterprets the Stoic maxim, nosce teipsum.
83 finger.] F1; finger. / Hed. Come Ladies; but stay we shall want one to lady it in our Masque in place of Argurion. / Anai. Why my page shall do it, Gelaia. / Hed. Troth and he’le do it well, it shalbe so. Exeunt. Q
85 ruby The ruby is mentioned at Q 2.3.49, and is Asotus’s last explicit gift (but see 93n).
87 SD] Q; not in F1
89–90 Would . . . clothes You are in attractive clothes, and if I am wrong about this, may I be rooted to this spot forever.
90–1 a fine . . . them?] F1; in gay clothes. Q
92 One possible staging would be to have Asotus start to strip off his clothes, intending to give them to Morus, before stopping and promising them to him later.
93 air . . . feather Asotus looks in his pockets for a gift for Morus, but he has nothing left. The ‘air’ could be a fragment of a tune, but perhaps just a handful of empty air; the ‘feather’, as well as being a fashionable costume accessory, is a symbol of lightness and emptiness. Asotus’s final boast is rendered hollow, and perhaps poignant, by this evidence of his imminent poverty.
94 SD] G; not in F1; Exeunt Q
99–100 ] F1; Wee are like to haue sumptuous Reuells to night Sirs Q
100 SD] G; not in F1
101 They] F1; We Q
101 singularities most notable people (OED, n. 9b, sole example).
101 were] F1; are Q
102 up in pantofles (1) wearing shoes with built-up soles; (2) standing on their dignity.
102 was] F1; is Q
104 SH] F1; Hed. Q
105 SH] F1; Mercury. Q
105 canzonet Short vocal song. In Q this speech had been given, perhaps more appropriately, to Mercury.
106 burden refrain.
107–14 ] F1; not in Q
109, 114 SD] G (subst.); not in F1
110 And . . . fountain Mercury says that Cupid could just as well sleep through the revels, as he has not prevented the gallants drinking the water of Self-love, which will make them immune to his weapons (as seen in 5.10). ‘Without’ here functions as a conjunction equivalent in meaning to ‘unless’ (OED, Without conj. 1c). These lines, not in Q, prepare the ground for Cupid’s absence from 5.1–4.
112 prizers Competitors for a prize, usually in fencing.
114 lost of lost some of.
114 metal (1) mercury’s metallic qualities; (2) mettle.
5.1 ] F1 (Act V. Scene I.); scene not in Q
5.1 As the dialogue implies, Mercury has just revealed his true nature to Crites.
3 discovery revelation.
4 Binds my observance Requires my attentive care. ‘Observance’ often suggests religious ritual.
4 term condition.
6–7 without . . . austerity i.e. my reason for wanting to avoid the other courtiers is not a desire to seem austere.
7 enforced Like ‘formed’, implies that the austerity is just an act.
12 presently at once. Cf. Juvenal, Satires, 2.83: nemo repente fuit turpissimus, ‘no one has ever become thoroughly evil in a flash.’
14 noble taste quality of nobility.
16 season flavouring, whereas salt is perceived as an ingredient.
17–18 correct / And punish Orthodox sixteenth-century comic theory. Cf. Sidney, An Apology for Poetry, ed. G. Shepherd (1965), 136, 117: ‘laughter almost ever cometh of things most disproportioned to ourselves and nature. Delight hath a joy in it, either permanent or present. Laughter hath only a scornful tickling.’ Satirical writing, then, ‘sportingly never leaveth until he make a man laugh at folly, and at length ashamed to laugh at himself, which he cannot avoid, without avoiding the folly’.
19 court-dors court-fools. But ‘dor’ is used to mean ‘an act of making someone appear a fool’ at 5.2.15, and also in the idiom ‘give him the dor’ at 5.2.22–3, meaning ‘make a fool of him’ (OED, n.2).
23 warrant out justify with warrant.
29 ironical Ironical in the strict dramatic sense, in that Crites and Mercury will be arranging a performance in which they know more than the performers.
31 Cf. Juvenal, Satires, 8.20: Nobilitas sola est atque unica virtus, ‘nobility is the only and unique virtue’; and Und. 84.8.12.
32 right just action (OED, n.1 4a).
35 apish ape-like, and particularly suggesting the reputation of apes as unthinking imitators.
35 forced unnatural.
38–9 Cf. Virgil, Aeneid, 6.129–30: Pauci, quoas aequus amavit Iuppiter, ‘those few, whom just Jupiter has loved [are able to return from the dead]’; and Juvenal, Satires, 14.34–5: quibus arte benigna/et meliore luto finxit praecordia Titan, ‘those people whose hearts Titan has made with good craftsmanship and out of better clay’. Following an established neoplatonic allegory, the allusion to Virgil implies that everyday existence is like the Virgilian underworld, which only a few select souls are able to escape: see Tudeau-Clayton (1999), 116–17, and also Barkan (1980) on other neoplatonic material in this play. The Juvenal quotation is also used at 5.8.22–3, and at Cat., 3.3.52–3. By Titan, Juvenal means Prometheus, but here and at 5.8.22–3 Jonson interprets as Apollo.
42 My proper My own.
43 SD] G; not in F1
5.2 ] F1 (Act V. Scene II.); scene not in Q
5.2 ‘Amorphus’s dissertation is a locus classicus on the subject’ of wearing the colours of one’s mistress (H&S); in particular, a lover would wear coloured ribbons in his hat to match her clothing. The craze was of long duration. In Sidney, Astrophil and Stella, Sonnet 54, Astrophil claims to be unusual: ‘I breathe not love to everyone, / Nor do not use set colours for to wear, / Nor nourish special locks of vowed hair.’ But the custom is still strong in Thomas Killigrew, The Parson’s Wedding (perf. 1640–1), in Comedies (1664), 102: ‘You are resolved to walk tied up in your own arms, with your love as visible in your face, as your mistress’s colours in your hat; that any porter at Charing Cross may take you like a letter at the carriers, and having read the superscription, deliver Master Sad to the fair hands of Mistress or my Lady such a one, lying at the sign of the hard heart.’ As an extra complication, colours could have symbolic values: cf. 25–30 and n., and William Cavendish, The Country Captain, 2.3, where Device gives a long list of colour symbolism. The location of the current scene, and of 5.3–5, is a ‘fair gallery’ somewhere within Cynthia’s palace (5.3.78–9; see also 4.5.69–70). Once again, the comic motif of teaching courtliness is also reminiscent of the scenes between Bobadill and Matthew in EMI (F). Fisher (1997), 63–6, analyses this scene as an example of Jonson’s ‘slow-developing intra-situational’ comic technique.
2 me Ethic dative: send for the ladies, on my behalf.
3 intend listen to.
5 refractory obstinate person.
6 your own] F1 state 2; your F1 state 1
9 trussing . . . points tying up all the loose ends. A metaphor from the ‘points’ with which Elizabethan hose and stockings were secured.
12 apt F1 reads ‘aped’, described by H&S as ‘an affected spelling’ of apt, although no other examples have been found. As Gifford notes, this spelling and implied pronunciation invite an unflattering alternative etymology: ‘imitative like an ape’. Whalley’s conjecture ‘apted’ seems unneccessary.
12 apt] F1 (aped)
12 docible teachable.
13 punctilios points of detail (OED, n.5). See Q 2.3.34n.
13 intrinsicate entangled, as in Ant., 5.2.302; Marston, Scourge of Villainy (1598), B4, mocks it as one of the fashionable ‘new-minted epithets’.
14 strokes and wards attacks and defences; a metaphor from fencing.
14 amounted risen (OED, v. 1).
15 gentle] F1 (gentile)
15 dor See 5.1.19n.
15 in as a.
16 ribbanded wearing ribbons.
17 copy plenty; recalling particularly and debasing the humanistic idea of copia or copious learning. Cf. ‘abundance’ (28), another humanist term.
17 colours coloured ribbons, worn in one’s hat.
20–1 I . . .you] (I . . .you) F1
21 antagonist As H&S note, this is the first recorded usage in English. Amorphus provides a literal translation of the Greek.
22–3 give . . . dor See 5.1.19n.
25–30 A skilful combatant may be able to deceive his rival into misinterpreting the woman’s signals, and wearing colours which are in the circumstances inappropriate.
25 possess persuade.
27 greenly credulous Because green is also the colour of credulity.
30 not so, nor] Wh; nor so, nor F1
37 pain F1 spells ‘pœne’, again an affected spelling drawing attention to a Latin etymology.
37 pain] F1 (pœne)
39 remonstrate show.
40 indicative but deliberative Amorphus vaguely distinguishes between unpremeditated and premeditated methods, respectively, of disgracing one’s opponent.
41 rivalis ‘rival’ (Lat.).
44 apply his wear choose his colours.
44 lay wait lie in wait (OED, Wait n. 1d).
44 preoccupy Gain control of in advance; with bawdy potential, as at New Inn, Argument, Act 4, 70–1: where Pinnacia is ‘the tailor’s wife, who was wont to be preoccupied in all his customers’ best clothes’.
45 return false report back the wrong.
45 fallacy deception.
49 outrecuidance arrogance. Gifford defends Jonson against possible accusations of inconsistency: ‘this strange petulance and forwardness in the once sheepish and timid Asotus, is the effect of the waters of the Fountain of Self-love. No man ever preserved the consistency of his characters with such scrupulous, such unbending circumspection, as our great poet.’
50 redoundeth surges up.
52–3 I . . . wise An imitation of Petronius, Satyricon, 2: Qui inter haec nutriuntur non magis sapere possunt quam bene olere qui in culina habitant, ‘Those who have grown up among such things [i.e. schoolroom rhetorical exercises] do not know how to be wise, any more than people who live in a kitchen know how to smell well.’
54 passages exchanges of blows.
54 imbroccatas ‘fencing thrusts’ (It.), as at EMI (F), 4.7.60.
54 imbroccatas] F1 (imbroccata’s)
54 bob (1) blow; (2) taunt (OED, n.3).
55 reverse In fencing, a backhanded blow.
55 wry-mouth The act of making a face.
55 offenders offensive manoeuvres (not in OED in this sense).
58 baboon i.e. a ridiculous person.
58 baboon] F1 (Babion)
60 rarely parted i.e. of unusual accomplishments.
61–2 on his backside i.e. on the side of him he cannot see. ‘Backside’ does not necessarily mean ‘rump’ in Renaissance usage.
62 sanna ‘snarl’ (Lat.); but Jonson appears to have understood it as equivalent to the ciconia, or stork, an insulting hand gesture making the shape of a stork’s bill. The terminology is based on Persius, Satires, 1.58–62: o Iane, a tergo quem nulla ciconia pinsit / nec manus auriculas imitari mobilis albas / nec linguae quantum sitiat canis Apula tantae. / vos, o patricius sanguis, quos uiuere fas est / occipiti caeco, posticae occurrite sannae, ‘O Janus! Nobody makes obscene stork-bill gestures behind your back, no waving hands imitate white donkey-ears: when your back is turned nobody sticks their tongue out as far as a thirsty Apulian dog. But you blue-blooded aristocrats, who don’t have eyes in the back of your head, expect snarling faces [sannae] made behind your back.’ H&S quote St Jerome’s Epistles, 125, where the same confusion occurs. It does not affect the joke, which lies in the disjunction between classical Latin terminology, and the broad physical comedy of the obscene gesture.
66 prick out select, in the sense of marking a name in a list.
5.3 ] F1 (Act V. Scene III.); scene not in Q
0 SD] F1 (Morphides, Amorphvs, Asotvs, Hedon, / Anaides, The Throng. Ladies, Ci- / tizen, Wife, Pages, Taylor, / Mercer, Perfvmer, / Ieweller, &c.)
5.3 Court entertainments were often accompanied by disorderly crowds, which ushers attempted to control by striking at people’s heads with long white sticks. Notorious Jacobean incidents included Jonson’s exclusion from a masque in such fashion in 1604 (Informations, 155–6); Blackness (1605), concerning which Carleton commented: ‘The confusion in getting in was so great, that some ladies lie by it and complain of the fury of the white staves’ (Masque Archive, Blackness, 6); and a dramatization in Irish, 10. Cf. H8, 5.6.6–8, where an usher says: ‘fetch me a dozen crab-tree staves, and strong ones: these are but switches to them. I’ll scratch your heads’. While such disorder was certainly an Elizabethan phenomenon too, it was something with which Jonson became much better acquainted after 1601. Loewenstein (1984), 84, describes this whole section as an antimasque before the true masques to come; for a different interpretation, see Introduction.
3 officious tyranny Morphides is acting as doorman.
4–6, 8–11, 27–8, 30 SD] G; not in F1
4 my masters A moderately respectful term of address (OED, n. 21b).
6 plays the prizes i.e. takes part in the competition. On the nature of these prizes, see Introduction.
8 Ay] F1 (I)
14 Enter Permit to enter.
14 hang-bys hangers-on.
14 SD] not in F1, but see massed entry at 5.3.0
15 shadows companions. Cf. Epicene, 2.3.7.
16–17 Who are the ladies whom Hedon and Anaides introduce? Gifford interprets them as two unnamed supernumerary characters, but this is dramatically inelegant, because they would have nothing else to do and nowhere else to belong for this and the next scene. It is also awkward in terms of character since it would imply that Hedon has lost interest in Philautia, whom he has been openly courting throughout. Perhaps, then, ‘country lady’ is a feeble joke by Hedon introducing the super-sophisticated Philautia. One would expect Anaides’s ‘cockatrice’ to be Gelaia, whom he so calls at 4.3.184 (and see 4.4.11–12), but she has no lines and is not mentioned in this scene, and Anaides seems instead to be partnered throughout by Gelaia’s mother Moria. Lines 47–8 refer to three court ladies present, all of whom have lines in 5.4; and we should be reluctant to add more characters to 5.4 which already contains sixteen speaking roles. The best conclusion, then, is Anaides caps Hedon’s feeble witticism introducing Philautia, with a typically blunt remark for Moria.
19–23 The joke here is that the Citizen’s responses are comically inaudible. One staging possibility would be to have only the Citizen’s head visible through a door or curtain, implying he is caught in a huge crush of people and unable to breathe properly. Morphides and Amorphus challenge him (‘who would you speak withal?’), and he evidently replies that he wishes to see his brother and identifies him as Asotus. But we hear the replies only through Amorphus’s derisive repetition of them as questions. Gifford goes so far as to interpolate the two implied lines into his text (although mistakenly giving them to the Citizen’s wife, not to the Citizen). This clarifies the sense, but misses the comedy.
19 Knock . . . pages The pages are not allowed admittance, which enables a naturalistic explanation for their absence. Apart from Mercury, the other pages are free to double as the various tradesmen.
19 Goodman A patronizing form of address.
19 Coxcomb Fool.
22 brother i.e. brother-in-law. The Citizen is married to Amorphus’s sister.
24 SD] not in F1, but see massed entry at 5.3.0
31 God’s me God save me; a mild oath (OED, God n. 8b).
31 intrude her push her in.
31 her] F2; he F1
32 SD wife The Citizen’s wife succeeds Argurion as Asotus’s foil, thus restoring the symmetrical pattern of eight foolish characters as in Act 4.
32 SD] not in F1, but see massed entry at 5.3.0
33 Knock Hit on the head.
35 SD No exit is marked for Morphides in F1. He speaks again only at 5.4.2 and 5.4.8, and then possibly from offstage, and if he exits here the way is open for his role to be doubled by the actor playing Mercury, and for the Citizen to be doubled by Crites.
35 SD] G (Pushes the Citizen back); not in F1
36 non-entry A Scottish legal term, ‘Failure of the heir of a deceased vassal to renew investiture’ (OED); also used by Jonson to mean refusal of entry, Love Rest., 58.
36–7 husbands . . . here The common joke was that city wives were only allowed into court masques without their husbands, or were separated from them by the courtiers. Thus Chloe expects her husband to be ‘left without in the lobby’ when she goes to a court entertainment (Poet., 4.2.44); also Every Woman in her Humour (1609), F3v; and according to the hostile account of Edward Peyton, The Divine Catastrophe of the Stuarts (1652), 47: ‘The courtiers incited the citizens’ wives to these shows [i.e. court revels] on purpose to defile them in such sort. There is not a lobby or chamber (if it could speak) but would verify this.’
38 SD] G; not in F1
39 prizer See 4.5.112n.
40 Apprehend Take.
40 at all points fully equipped. Cf. Ham., 1.2.200, where the ghost of Old Hamlet appears ‘armèd at point’.
42 gloves Gloves were given out as gifts at formal festive occasions, particularly weddings. Cf. Epicene, 3.6.73; Bart. Fair, 3.4.125–6; and Hoy (1980), 1.204. Amorphus jokes that this ceremony is almost like a wedding, between Asotus’s new manners (his ‘haviour’, 46) and Courtship, whom Amorphus imagines personified as a lady.
45 SD] in margin in F1
46 accommodate suitable (OED, ppl. a.).
50 provost Assistant fencing-master (OED, n. 8); like ‘scholar’ (46) and ‘masters’, picks up the imagery of the fencing school.
50 SD] G; not in F1
53 In sadness Without joking.
55 at . . . weapons Used by Phantaste to mean ‘at their own game’; given a bawdy double entendre in Philautia’s reply (OED, Weapon n. 2c, 3).
57 forsooth ‘The city madam’s oath’ (H&S), as at EMO, 2.2.13.
60 Downfall Carries obvious bawdy potential.
63.1 SD] F1, in margin
63.2 SD] G (subst.); not in F1
65–6 the tincture . . . ask it Asotus’s neck is so grubby that it needs to be covered with a ruff.
66 sprig An ornament in the shape of a sprig or spray (OED, n.2 4a); cf. Christmas, 26, where Misrule appears ‘In a velvet cap with a sprig’.
66 half-shoulder The side of the shoulder.
68 the challenge] in margin in F1
69–84 ‘Be . . . Cynthia!’] this edn; italics, and no quotation marks in F1
70 white satin reveller Cf. Q 3.5.100.
70 tissue and baudkin Both varieties of cloth shot with gold and silver.
70 baudkin] F1 (bodkin)
71 Polytropus ‘Much-travelled’ (Gr. πολύτροπος); Homeric epithet of Odysseus (Ulysses), traveller and liar.
72 Acolastus ‘Unbridled’ (Gr. ἀκόλαστος). Also, the eponymous central character of the prodigal-son comedy Acolastus (1529), written in Latin by the Dutch humanist Gnaphaeus, and widely influential in sixteenth-century England.
72 Polypragmon ‘Busybody’ (Gr. πολυπράγμων). See Quinn (1995) for more positive Renaissance interpretations of polypragmosyne. Vives uses Polypragmon as a character name in his dialogue De Europae dissidiis et de bello turcico (1526).
74–6 four . . . close The four ‘weapons’ are all stages in courting a woman, from least to most intimate. Baskervill (1911), 231, notes similarities with the terminology of medieval court-of-love poetry, codifying skills such as the Bel Aceuil, Dous Regard, and Dous Parler.
74 court-compliment] F1 (court-complement)
75 accost greeting. This involves ‘making a leg’, that is, making a courtly bow, and removing one’s hat: see 98–105 and 5.4.125–32. Cf. Sir Giles Goosecap (1606), G1v, on the theory and practice: ‘I . . . held my talk, / With that Italianate Frenchman, and took time / (Still as our conference served) to show my courtship / In the three quarter leg, and settled look, / The quick kiss of the top of the forefinger / And other such exploits of good Accost.’ See also TN, 1.3.40–7, where Toby defines ‘accost’ for Sir Andrew: ‘front her, board her, woo her, assail her’.
78 tailor . . . sempster Strictly speaking, tailors cut cloth and sempsters sew it, although ‘tailor’ was already extending in meaning into its modern sense (OED).
80–4 prizes . . . corner The prizes are pseudo-heraldic pictures apparently painted into ‘ensigns’ (5.4.121), perhaps pasteboard shields since it appears that they can be torn in half (5.4.225–6); they are parodic equivalents of the properly used emblematic pictures in the inset masques later in Act 5 (see headnote to 5.7). Here, the prize for each weapon represents a mark of favour from a woman corresponding to the correct performance of the courtship (Judson, Cynthia). 5.4.439–45 implies that the winner of each prize gains the picture and the corresponding favour from the woman.
81 wall-eyes Eyes of different colour, or squinting in different directions.
81 face forced The inverted word order is a sign that the language of heraldry is being parodied; ‘forced’ implies ‘affected’ (OED, ppl. a. 3c).
82 fan waving ‘A definite mark of favour, according to the standard of Elizabethan gallants’ (Judson, Cynthia). Cf. Marmion, The Antiquary (1641), D1v: ‘And then, because I am familiar, / And deign . . . To wave my fan at you, / Or let you kiss my hand: must we straight marry?’
82–3 lips wagging i.e. for completing the solemn address correctly, the prizer is rewarded by the lady talking to him (OED, Wag v. 4b).
83 wring squeeze.
84 banquet Not of food, but of kisses: cf. 5.4.439–45. Baskervill (1911), 231, again cites parallels with medieval courts of love. But in New Inn, 3.2.124, Beaufort wishes: ‘Give me a banquet o’ sense like that of Ovid’ – with reference to Chapman’s erotic poem Ovid’s Banquet of Sense (1595), which may well be alluded to here.
84 And . . . Cynthia A translation into the world of the play of ‘And God save the Queen’, which incidentally raises Phoebus to a status much higher than Cynthia.
85 SD] in margin in F1
89–90 Victus . . . victi ‘He is defeated, she is defeated, it is defeated, the men are defeated, the women are defeated, they are defeated’ (Lat.) Amorphus declines this adjective, a schoolboy grammatical exercise, but seemingly also a victory celebration, perhaps with some confused recollection of Caesar’s famous boast: veni, vidi, vici. Cf. Middleton, The Family of Love (1608), 5.2.248–9: ‘I may now decline victus victa victum, / One word more shall overthrow her.’ De Vocht (1950), 253, points out the last word should be victa, and blames the compositor, but Asotus seems quite capable of making his own mistakes in Latin.
90 be retrograde go back.
91 dispunct impolite; an affected usage not recorded in OED.
92 encount’rer adversary.
92 encount’rer] F1 state 2 (Encount’rer); Encounter F1 state 1
92 state chair; H&S gloss as ‘canopy’, but this is the first of several allusions to the two chairs used in the contests that follow (e.g. 5.4.53–4).
92 wall Presumably, the back of the stage.
92 lady Gifford deduces that this is Moria, on the basis of 5.4.85–7, 231.
95 charge ‘A signal for the attack sounded on a trumpet or other instrument’ (OED, n. 19).
95 SD A charge] in margin in F1
96 Your vulgar Your average man in the street.
97 conceit understand.
97 SD Amorphus decides that he and Asotus will perform an exhibition match, and they start with the first of the four weapons. Amorphus performs wordlessly the action of greeting Moria with an accost (see 75n.), with enough suavity to impress the onlookers (98–101). Asotus’s technique is comically less polished (102–5). The dramatic purpose, apart from its intrinsic comic potential, is expository, since it demonstrates to Jonson’s audience the rules of the contest to follow.
97 SD] in margin in F1 (at 101)
101 well-spoken Ironic, as the accost is acted in dumb show.
105 Dutch Seems to imply ‘drunken’. Cf. Devil, 1.1.62.
105 SD] in margin in F1
105 SD flourish fanfare. In what follows, charges mark the onset of action, and flourishes the conclusion.
106–7 Hedon wrongly states that this event is over, and Amorphus corrects him.
107 bouts Each weapon, that is, each action, is to be performed twice by each competitor. At the end of both performances, the judges award the prize. But the preparation for the second bout is interrupted by the arrival of Mercury and Crites.
107 expect wait.
5.4 ] F1 (Act V. Scene IIII.); scene not in Q
0 SD to them] in margin in F1
5.4 1–10 The exact timing of the entries is unclear, with scope for horseplay as first Crites and then Mercury shove their way past the doorkeeper. There is no need for Morphides to be seen onstage, and it may be that his two lines are delivered offstage, by the actor who then enters as Mercury.
5 rag poor person (OED, n. 3b).
9 be retrograde leave at once.
10 truchman interpreter; but often, used with reference to the presenter of an entertainment, e.g. King’s Ent., 208.
10 flourish A fencing term: ‘give a short fanciful exhibition by way of exercise before the real performance’ (OED, v. 13).
10–11 French-behaved The gallants seem to believe the disguised Mercury actually is French.
11 cartels written challenges (see 4.5.76).
11 cartels] F1 (chartells)
13 stickler umpire, or second; 121–3 suggest the latter.
16 complementaries A nonce word: experts in compliment. Also with a specifically fencing flavour, since Mercutio in Rom. mocks Tybalt’s fencing: ‘Oh, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, proportion; he rests his minim rests, one, two, and the third in your bosom’ (2.4.19–23).
19 stuff fabric. On Crites’s (Criticus’s) clothing, see Q 3.2.23–4 and n.
27–43 Crites is addressing the disguised Mercury; Asotus is the ‘wight of worth’ (27), and Amorphus (or else, as H&S argue, the court) is the ‘magazine of man’ (33).
29 carries . . . mouth i.e. affords profit or amusement (OED, Meat n. 1d); perhaps, originally, used of a bird of prey; ‘even standing’ implies that Asotus is amusing just to look at.
30 courtling One brought up in the court.
30 havings demeanour and possessions (OED, n. 2, 3).
31 hardened . . . bark Not parallelled in OED, but analogous to calling someone ‘seasoned’.
33 citicism A nonce word, ‘city manners’.
33 elixir alchemical essence.
33 magazine storehouse.
36 holds . . . arras Judson, Cynthia, compares Marston, What You Will, in Plays (1938), 2.275: ‘He is a fine courtier, flatters admirable . . . holds up the arras, supports the tapestry when I pass into the presence very gracefully.’
37–8 but three men i.e. Amorphus, Hedon, and Anaides. Crites’s speech lists behaviour already mentioned, e.g. Q 4.2.29–30.
40 keeping possessive.
41 painter Supplier of make-up.
42 reciproque reciprocal.
42 reciproque] F1 state 2 (reciprock); reciprick F1 state 1
44 limned painted. Mercury’s line here is an aside to Crites, since the others think he is dumb until he speaks at 92.
44 limned] F1 (limb’d)
45 deserve before be deemed worthy by.
46 SD] in margin in F1
46 authentic As a god, Mercury has no trouble obtaining such a document.
46 authentic] F1 (authentique)
47 him Crites, as opposed to Mercury (‘the monsieur’). Similarily, Crites is ‘the other’ in 49, and ‘him’ in 61. The courtiers pointedly ignore Crites, in the expectation that this will oblige Mercury to do the same.
53 discourtship discourtesy. A word recorded only here.
54 state See 5.3.92n.
60 scholaris ‘scholar’ (Lat.): i.e. Crites.
61 Out . . . emphasis An obscure expression: seemingly, a comment on the fact that Crites fails to say anything.
64 will . . . yet Mercury beckons Crites to be his second.
64–5 our disgrace i.e. the disgrace (lack of favour) shown by us towards Crites.
68 Illustrious] F1 (Illustrous)
68 fearful fearsome.
71 noses Seemingly, ‘impulses’, as in the idiom ‘to follow one’s nose’; more normally used of one’s own nose (OED, n. 8a).
74 not him not Crites. Hedon urges his fellows to continue to ignore Crites, in the hope of shaming him.
74 the stranger Mercury, in his disguise as the Frenchman.
80 nullity deficiency.
80 Non . . . Italiano ‘Do you not know how to speak Italian?’ (It.).
80 sapete . . . Italiano] F1 (sapette voi parlar’ Itagliano)
81 carp . . . tongue Anaides makes fun of Mercury’s continuing silence by comparing him to a carp, which has no tongue. Cf. Izaac Walton, The Complete Angler (1653), 165–6: ‘Gesner says, Carps have no tongues like other fish, but a piece of flesh-like-fish in their mouth like to a tongue, and may be so called, but it is certain it is choicely good.’ (Cf. Alch., 2.2.75, where Sir Epicure imagines eating ‘The tongues of carps’.)
86 reinstate you i.e. put you back in your seat.
86 Provost i.e. Asotus.
86–7 begin to me Amorphus invites Asotus to take part in the second interrupted bout.
87 bare accost See 5.3.75.
87 SD A charge] in margin in F1
87 SD A charge Once again, an offstage fanfare sounds to mark the start of the performance of the action. Asotus accosts Moria, with comic ineptitude, and Amorphus is interrupted by Hedon as he starts his second accost.
89 reflect turn back (OED, v. 11); this is another example of Hedon’s taste for pretentious vocabulary.
90 mouthed wave Unexplained. Presumably Mercury (who has still not yet spoken) pulls a face, and in 91, Crites answers Amorphus on Mercury’s behalf. (But F1’s ‘waue’ suggests alternatively OED, Waw n.3, the cry of a cat; see also Waw v.2).
92 Finally Mercury shows the courtiers he can speak.
92 your scholar Asotus. Mercury is addressing Amorphus.
92–3 might . . . longer A carefully weighted insult. Asotus started to play badly from the moment that he stood up to play, and Mercury suggests that only by not playing at all could Asotus have played at all well.
94 glass i.e. Mercury can ‘see through’ Asotus and detect his limitations (OED, See v. 24).
96 have . . . lions i.e. am a man of the world. With reference to the lions in the Tower of London, an early tourist attraction (OED, n. 4a). Cf. Dekker, Gull’s Hornbook (1609), 31–2: ‘A country gentleman that brings his wife up to learn the fashion, see the tombs at Westminster, the lions in the Tower, or to take physic.’
101 black devil Crites, who is dressed in black.
103 he Amorphus. Mercury will fight, not Asotus (who challenged all comers) as he ought to, but Asotus’s master.
105 prest ready for action (Fr. prêt).
107–8 meddle . . . master Idiomatic, as at Cor., 4.5.46–7.
109 squib (1) insignificant person; (2) small firework (hence Crites’s joke). Cf. Epigr. 59.
113 at more charges That would cost him more dearly.
115 traveller’s] F1 (trauailers)
115 spleen Believed to be the seat of anger.
115–16 Comparison . . . offensive A commonplace. Cf. Ado, 3.5.15; and Kyd, The Spanish Tragedy, 3.14.118.
117 cartel] F1 (chartell)
118 I am aware of them (i.e. the cartel and the choice of weapons).
120 Lady Moria. Amorphus gives her the ensign which is to be the reward for the winner at the first weapon, and at 163 she gives it, in turn, to Mercury.
120 vouchsafe . . . of please hold.
121 ensign flag (H&S) or shield bearing the picture which forms the prize they are fighting over.
121 stickler See 13n. Mercury chooses Crites.
124 SD A charge] in margin in F1
124 SD A charge Again, the contest is to accost Moria. Amorphus (125–8), then Mercury (129–32), Amorphus again (134–8), and Mercury (142–5), accost her.
126 foretop forehead.
127 produced ext- ended.
128 scurvily poorly.
131 curteau curtal, a small horse. Mercury is as nimble as one, and Anaides suggests the likeness could be made more exact by cutting Mercury’s nose open (curtals often had their ears and tail docked, and slitting a horse’s nose to improve its breathing was occasionally practised). Cf. Bulwer, Anthropometamorphosis (1650), 80: ‘The Indians’ divers have their noses slit like broken-winded horses.’
132 SD] in margin in F1
133 SD A charge] in margin in F1
136 band-string A string that secures the ruff, which Mercury clearly plays with in some way. In Webster, Duchess of Malfi, 2.1.6–7, Bosola advises Castruchio to ‘learn to twirl the strings of your band with a good grace’.
137 put home pressed to its conclusion; a fencing metaphor.
138 Lucrece Roman gentlewoman who stabbed herself to death after being raped. Shakespeare’s The Rape of Lucrece is one obvious reference point, but her myth circulated widely in Renaissance poetry and art in many forms: see Donaldson (1982).
140 baboon] F1 (babioun)
142 the French i.e. Mercury.
142 prepares it Meaning not clear: perhaps Mercury gives a small gift to Moria.
143 ycleped called; a deliberately archaic form.
143 serious trifle An oxymoron. A trifle can mean anything insignificant, but is perhaps here (in the light of ‘band-string’ above) a small trinket of some sort (OED, n. 3). Cf. Chapman, Eugenia (1614) in Poems, ed. Bartlett (1962), 276: ‘She seemed a serious trifle’; Martial, 2.86.9–10; and Informations, 342–3.
144 horse-start Presumably, a jolt like a startled horse. Cf. 145n.
144 horse-start . . . study] italics in F1
144 brown study reverie. See Hoy (1980), 1.232, for further contemporary examples.
145 bird-eyed Not glossed in OED. Samuel Ward, Balm from Gilead (1618), 46, uses it to describe a horse ‘that starts upon every shadow without occasion or cause’. Cf. Volp., 3.4.20, and W. Bullein, A Dialogue . . . against the Fever Pestilence (1578), 42v–43: ‘Uxor. Oh help me, my horse starteth, and had like to have been unsaddled me [sic], let me sit faster for falling. Civis. He is a bird-eyed jade, I warrant you.’
145 SD] in margin in F1
148 besonio beggarly person, or, as here, novice soldier (OED) (It.), i.e. Crites. John Florio, A World of Words (1598) (cited in H&S), glosses bisogni as ‘new levied soldiers, such as come needy to the wars’. Cf. also Volp., 2.3.8.
150 mere absolute.
153 We . . . partial ‘i.e. etiquette requires us to favour the stranger’ (H&S).
154 bare] F1 state 2; bane F1 state 1
157 palate . . . down Symptom of a cold, and therefore of a loss of taste: cf. Pepys, Diary, 23 September 1664: ‘My cold and pain in my head increasing, and the palate of my mouth falling, I was in great pain.’
163 Remercie Thank you (Fr.).
163 censors judges.
164 better regard The second of the four disciplines (see 5.3.74–6). This weapon involves both speech and bodily movement.
168 Which take you Which do you bet will win?
168 a discretion Unexplained, but also staked as part of a bet in Cavendish Ent., 125–6. Crites, at least, takes it as a wager based on one’s reputation for shrewdness (174–5).
175 doit A small and proverbially worthless Dutch coin.
175 doit] F1 (doibt)
175 heads.] F1 (heads.–-)
176 i.e. Crites says that Anaides possesses only a doit’s worth of discretion.
177 SD A charge] in margin in F1
178–219 Mercury (178–86), then Amorphus (187–97), Amorphus (201–8), and Mercury (213–19) perform the ‘better regard’, each performance climaxing in a speech to their target, Moria. But both characters have carte blanche to engage in physical clowning during their own and their opponent’s, perhaps in attempting to put him off.
180 court-staggers ‘Staggers’ is a brain disease of horses and other domestic animals causing a staggering gait.
181 a place As Mercury’s stickler.
183 affectioned affectionate.
186 respectively respectfully.
189 puff Vague enough to cover any extravagant gesture or speech.
191 though F1, followed by all editions previous to this one, prints ‘through’, but this makes poor sense: such an adverbial use is unnatural and hard to parallel exactly, and ‘though’ fits the tenor of Hedon’s contributions more neatly – praising Amorphus in opposition to others’ criticisms.
191 though] this edn; through F1
193 leer Can mean ‘expression’ rather than the lecherous glance in modern usage (OED, n.1, n.2).
196 Janus Not otherwise recorded as a noun in this sense. Presumably Amorphus favours Moria with a backward glance as he is leaving her, which is named after the Roman god with two faces. (H&S believe that this is an insult like the stork’s bill, 5.2.62, but such a gesture would not make sense here, and, worse, it would spoil the surprise at 380–1.)
197 SD] in margin in F1
198 Rodomontado Rodomonte is a bragging knight in Ariosto, Orlando Furioso, 14; his name was often used as a synonym for a braggart.
201 SD A charge] in margin in F1
202 fitly F1 reads ‘filthie’ and is followed by all editions previous to this one. Anaides’s remark has passed entirely without comment, perhaps because it seems inexplicable, since the context demands that he praise Amorphus’s dignity, and either he momentarily lets his mask slip to reveal his own love of filthiness, or ‘filthy’ carries an otherwise unattested positive meaning. A third possibility is to emend to the rare adjective ‘fitly’, meaning fitting. OED lists only two examples (from Tusser and Robert Browning), but cf. also Arthur Hall, Ten Books of Homer’s Iliads (1581), 7.408–10: ‘If that of truce ye will allow, the bodies on the lands, / Which dead do lie by slaughter of this late and last day’s war, / In fitly graves and sepultures the same for to entarre [inter].’ ‘Fitly’ has the required sense, is of a suitably affected register, and is a rare enough word to trouble a compositor.
202 fitly] this edn; filthie F1
203 camerade] F1 (camerade)
203 camerade comrade. `Comrade’ was newly imported from the French (OED, first usage in 1591). Hedon makes fun of Mercury’s Frenchness. Compare the French vocabulary at 240, 250, 345.
205–7 ] F1 (Signora, ho tanto obligo per ye fauore resciuto da lei; che veramente dessidero con tutto il core, à remunerarla in parte: & sicuratiue signora mea cara, chè iosera sempre pronto à seruirla, & honorarla. Bascio le mane de vo’ signoria)
205–7 ‘Lady, I am so much obliged by the favour received from you, that I truly desire with all my heart to repay you in part: and you may be sure, my dear lady, that I shall be always ready to serve, and honour you. I kiss your ladyship’s hands’ (It.). Judson, Cynthia, notes that the form of address to the lady alternates between second person and the more formal third person.
208 dop A low curtsey.
210–11 Asotus is quoting Sir John Davies, Epigrams, 29, In Haywoodum: ‘Heywood, that did in epigrams excel, / Is now put down since my light muse arose; / As buckets are put down into a well, / Or as a schoolboy putteth down his hose.’ It had been well known since at least 1596, when it is alluded to by Harington (The Metamorphosis of Ajax, 26; further references are collected by Judson, Cynthia). Asotus, then, is using witty quotations as Amorphus recommended, but he seems to forget the last part of the second line; hence Crites’ joke.
212 jackdaw Noted for its talkativeness; also for its thievings.
214 Bo-peep An interjection, ‘Look!’ (OED, n. 1b).
215 antic quaint.
215 antic] F1 (antique)
216 quirk trick; in various senses: in particular, a sudden twist or turn.
218–19 ‘Mistress, I would like to be able to show my affection, but I am so unhappy, so cold, so plain, so — I don’t know what to say — excuse me; I am entirely yours’ (Fr.). ‘Mercury should have spoken better French’ (H&S, noting the error ‘mal hereuse’ for ‘malheureux’).
218–19 ] F1 (Madamoyselle, Ie voudroy que pouuoy monstrer mon affection, mais ie suis tant mal heureuse, ci froid, ci layd, ci – Ie ne scay qui di dire – excuse moy, Ie suis tout vostre)
219 SD] in margin in F1
220 Jovialist A person born under the influence of Jupiter, suggesting cheerfulness, energy, and sexual activity.
222 feather Cf. New Inn, 1.1.5, where the Inn’s emblem is ‘A heart weighed with a feather, and out-weighed too’. In view of the entry of the feather-maker at 239 SD, this line might also suggest that at least one combatant is already wearing an extravagant feather as part of his costume.
225 They . . . doubtfully It is not clear who has won.
227–8 simper . . . wag Elements of the two halves of the ensign, but also perhaps actions performed by Moria.
230 lady sentinel i.e. Moria. If the competition to woo her invites allegorical reading as a flattery of Folly to set beside Erasmus’s Praise of Folly, then when Philautia takes over, the competition becomes a praise of self-love.
231 SD] G; not in F1
233 third weapon The ‘solemn address’ (5.3.73–6), which are delivered at 349–81.
234 stroke Another fencing analogy, applied loosely here to the techniques of gallantry used by the contestants.
235 Let me alone Leave it to me.
236 hit i.e. imitate successfully.
236 practic observance the customs they observe in practice.
237 lime . . . ladybirds Twigs coated with lime are a bird trap. ‘Ladybird’ has been used as an affectionate term of address for a woman, at Q 2.4.5, and also by the Nurse in R&J, 1.3.3. The whole expression is also used by Brome, The Court Beggar (1653), 1.1.27: Frederick’s hair is ‘a very limebush to catch ladybirds’.
238 openly Crites is worried that the gallants are not aware they are being mocked, and that hence the treatment is not working. See 5.1.17n.
239.1 SD A charge] in margin in F1
239.2–3 SD] not in F1, but see massed entry at 5.4.0
243 SD] in margin in F1 (at 245)
243 SD make . . . ready As subsequent dialogue shows, the making ready includes actions such as changing at least some of their clothes, and putting on extra jewellery. The various tradesmen fuss around the two of them throughout, showing their wares and plying their trade, with great possibilities for stage business.
245 off] F1 (of)
246 mullets ‘A kind of pincers or tweezers’ (OED, n.3). Amorphus is addressing the barber.
247 pink ‘A hole or eyelet punched in a garment for decorative purposes’ (OED, n.3 1).
250 list A strip of fabric at the edge of a piece of cloth (OED, n.3): like ‘shreds’, an insult appropriate to a tailor.
253 Anaides is a tailor-beater himself; see Q 2.1.37–8.
254 put on i.e., put this jacket on me. Mercury is addressing the tailor still.
256 benjamin gum benzoin, aromatic gum.
257 Neapolitan Naples was one of the centres of the European perfume industry.
257 You . . . nose From Catullus, 13.13–14: quod tu cum olfacies, deos rogabis, / totum ut te faciant, Fabulle, nasum, ‘When you smell [this perfume], Fabullus, you will ask the gods to transform all of your body into a nose.’
258 frotted rubbed with perfume.
258 new-revenued having gained new revenue.
259 titillation tingling; but used of perfuming gloves in Alch., 4.4.13, and Sir Giles Goosecap (1606), sig. D3v, ‘a pretty kind of term new come up in perfuming, which they call a titillation’.
260 sampsuchine oil of marjoram.
261 nullifidian faithless person. With a pun on religious and secular meanings of ‘faith’.
261 a scruple a small weight, one twenty-fourth of an ounce.
264 simple . . . simples naïve to reveal your ingredients for the perfume. ‘Simple’ can denote a constituent of a medicine or a perfume (OED, n. 6).
265–9 The list of perfume ingredients leans heavily on Pliny’s catalogue of useful plants in Natural History, Book 12, and combines (for Jonson’s audience) associations with a mix of locations and religions.
266 musk, civet Both derived from the scent-glands of animals.
266 amber ambergris, a perfume ingredient derived from whales.
266 phoenicobalanus fruit of the Egyptian date tree (Pliny, 12.47).
266 turmeric, sesame Indian spices.
266 sesame] F1 (sesama)
267 nard, spikenard Aromatic substances derived from Eastern plants (Pliny, 12.26).
267 calamus odoratus scented reed (Pliny, 12.48).
267 stacte myrrh-oil (Pliny, 12.68).
267 opobalsamum ‘The balsam or oleoresin called Balm of Gilead or Balm of Mecca’ (OED) (Pliny, 12.54).
267 amomum Eastern spice sometimes identified with cinnamon (Pliny, 12.28).
267 storax A fragrant gum-resin, sometimes identified with stacte (Pliny, 12.55). Like nard, it is referred to in the Bible.
268 ladanum A resin derived from plants of the genus Cistus (Pliny, 12.37).
268 aspalathum More correctly aspalathus, an aromatic substance derived from a shrub that grows in Cyprus (Pliny, 12.52).
268 opoponax (misprinted ‘opponax’ in F1) a gum-resin from European plant roots, ‘formerly of repute in medicine’ (OED).
268 opoponax] F1 (opponax)
268 oenanthe ‘Variously explained as the grape of the wild vine, and water-dropwort’ (H&S) (Pliny, 12.61).
270 searcing sifting.
270 decocting boiling down.
271 fumigation . . . suffumigation Nonsensically pretentious, but perhaps distinguishing between the finished product (OED gives examples of ‘fumigation’ in this sense) and the effect of the finished product in action (the suffumigation, or process of becoming fumes). ‘Fumigation’ is used again by Jonson, Alch., 3.5.81, to describe the smell in the privy in which Dapper is locked.
272 endue endow. Amorphus does not speak again until 309–10, so that one performance possibility is to have the perfumer continue to apply perfume to him for the next forty lines.
274 confection mixture (i.e. the perfume).
275 coil fuss.
275 musk-worms i.e. people who overvalue perfume. Perhaps formed by Jonson on the analogy of ‘book-worm’.
277–9 jewels . . . time Diamonds are forever, and clothes at least last for a while, unlike perfume.
279 riot expense.
281 Crites suspects anyone using perfume so much has a strong personal smell to hide. Cf. Martial, 2.12.4: non bene olet qui semper olet, ‘he who is always perfumed does not have a good smell’.
285 undo cut open.
288 pressing-tool Tailor’s iron, heated in the fire before use (OED, Pressing-iron n.).
290 cut upon Renaissance luxury clothing employed cuts in the top fabric to show off the richness and variety of the fabrics underneath. Mercury envisages an extravagant fabric with seven layers.
292, 311 ribbons] F1 (ribbands)
293 feather-maker Appropriate since the Blackfriars area was the base of feather-makers.
296 hire Mercury is negotiating to hire, not buy, the jewellery, a frequent practice among those who attended masques.
305–6 i’the hundred i.e. as a percentage rate (of return). Thus, implies Mercury, the jeweller is flagrantly contravening the 1571 anti-usury statute, which limited the interest rate on loans to ten per cent per year.
306 These . . . not Do these impostors not want to.
309 confects comfits, perfumed sweets to act as breath-fresheners.
309 moscardini Sweets flavoured with musk (It.).
311 Bolognian From Bologna, Italy.
312 Granado From Granada, Spain, noted for silk manufacture.
315 devant front (presumably of his clothing).
316 Queen of Love Venus. The metaphor is that the smell of the perfume is like the smoke from a burnt offering wafting up to her.
318 solemn address See 233n. Anaides reminds the contestants that their audience are still waiting eagerly for the next bout.
319 come on resume the contest.
320 Fig Primarily suggesting the fruit (cf. ‘Goodman Sassafras’ at 330), but other possible connotations include the Spanish fig, an obscene gesture. Amorphus interrupts Fig in the middle of selling a pair of perfumed gloves to Mercury, so that, for the next twenty lines, Fig comically divides his attention between the two.
323 fucus make-up.
324 draught privy (OED, n. 46).
325–6 true Spanish Cf. Alch., 4.4.9–14, where Face observes: ‘Your Spanish beard / Is the best cut . . . Your Spanish titillation in a glove / The best perfume.’
326 umber A brown pigment used in leather dyeing.
330 Sassafras A tree with aromatic bark, discovered by the Spanish in North America.
331 diapasm Scented body powder, here incorporated into a piece of jewellery (see 338). Cf. EMO, 2.1.88n., and Alch., 1.4.21 where they are worn as a defence against plague.
333 sublimate and crude refined and unrefined.
334 dulcified Made less corrosive, or literally, ‘sweetened’; a vague chemical term usually referring to the neutralization of acid (OED, Dulcify v. 2; cf. Alch., 2.5.9).
334 jaw-bones . . . sow Cf. Hugh Plat, Delights for Ladies (1602), 4.7: ‘A white fucus or beauty for the face. The jaw bones of a hog or sow well burnt, beaten, and searced through a fine searce, and after ground upon a porphyry or serpentine stone is an excellent fucus, being laid on with the oil of white poppy.’
334 searced See 270n.
338 onyx Unexplained. Usually a hard agate-like stone, so here perhaps a container made from it, as at Volp., 5.3.34.
338 balled Rolled into balls.
339 invert my mustachio The Barber is using heat to style Mercury’s moustache. Presumably he can curl the ends of it to point either up or down.
340 ’Tis good i.e. the mercury-based make-up that the Perfumer has applied to his face at 337.
342 exorbitant Seemingly misused here as a term of praise. This line is spoken to Amorphus, reassuring him that the effect of the make-up looks good.
343 harlot Applied both to men and women at this date (OED).
345.2 SD] in margin in F1
347 beat ‘A stroke or blow in beating’ (OED, n.1 1a).
348 SD A charge] in margin in F1
349 the second part i.e. the third and fourth of the four challenges. Amorphus and Mercury are accoutred even more outrageously, and wearing hats in which are stuck ribbons matching the colours worn by Philautia (see 309–10 and 426–7n.), who once again takes the part of the recipient.
357 panther Panthers were proverbial for the sweetness of their breath. The belief is reported by Pliny, Natural History, trans. Philemon Holland (1601), 8.17: ‘It is said that all four-footed beasts are wonderfully delighted and enticed by the smell of panthers.’ And cf. Volp., 3.7.214, where ‘panther’s breath’ is a sought-after perfume.
358 may hawthorn.
360 Frenchman The French reputation for bravery in the first attack goes back as far as Livy, 10.28: primaque eorum proelia plus quam virorum, postrema minus quam feminarum esse, ‘[Fabius believed that the Gauls’] first assaults were greater than those of mere men: their last ones were weaker than those of women.’
362 Cupid’s baths Jonson uses variants of this conceit in Devil, 2.6.82–3; Gypsies (Burley), 396–7; and Und. 2.5.21–2, 19.7–8. H&S offer possible sources in Propertius, 2.3.12, and Anacreon, 27.
363 torches From pseudo-Tibullus, 3.8.5–6: Illius ex oculis, cum vult exurere divos, / accendit geminas lampadas acer Amor, ‘From the eyes of this person, bitter love lights his twin torches, when he wishes to make the gods burn in passion.’ Another Jonson favourite: cf. Hym., 642–3; Love Rest., 167–8; and Und. 19.1–2.
364 beams As at Q 1.2.37–8, an allusion to the Renaissance idea that eyesight was a matter of emitting beams of perception, rather than receiving beams of light.
366 no . . . foot i.e. no limits.
368 quarry The animal being hunted, i.e. Philautia.
368–9 give . . . audience i.e. Mercury is standing in Amorphus’s way, trying to prevent him from getting access to Philautia. It would appear, from 374, that someone — perhaps Asotus — physically hinders Mercury at this point, allowing Amorphus to get close to her.
370–1 Delivered seemingly without Mercury hearing it, and clearly accompanied with a grimace.
372 mouth grimace (OED, n. 22). Picking up on Amorphus’s earlier skill in face-making (Q 2.3.8–55), and on his discussion of the sanna (F1 5.2.57–63).
374 foul i.e. going against the rules (OED, adj. 14b); quibbling on ‘fair’.
374 close i.e. come to close-quarters fighting (OED, v. 13). In attempting to monopolize Philautia in turn, Amorphus has got too close to her — perhaps even touched her. The ‘perfect close’ is the fourth event, and they have not yet proceeded that far.
374 bravo bully. Cf. Epicene, 3.6.90: ‘Is this your bravo, ladies?’ H&S gloss as ‘bravado’, but ‘rampant’ seems to indicate that Crites is thinking of a particular character. Probably Mercury is being restrained by Asotus or by another ally of Amorphus.
375 rampant A mock-heraldic adjective, literally referring to an animal depicted rearing up on its hind legs. Cf. Bart. Fair, Induction, 95: a ‘hypocrite . . . rampant’.
377 some fool Mercury has in mind Amorphus in particular.
380–1 The joke lies in the first part not being intended for Mercury’s ears, while the second is.
382 SD] in margin in F1
382 An exclamation of impatience. Cf. Ham., 2.2.388–9.
383–4 That . . . rare The face that Amorphus made (372n.) is described as if it were a fencing stroke (‘most courtly hit’).
385–6 bitter bob . . . reverse Cf. 5.2.57–63. Judson, Cynthia, argues, convincingly, that Amorphus has just performed such a manoeuvre accompanying his speech at 380–1.
391 take . . . edge reduce their keenness, i.e. by humiliating Amorphus in the fourth and last round.
396–7 Phantaste comes forward to take the place of Philautia as the recipient of the courtship for the last bout.
398 covetingly A rare and affected word; OED lists only one other example, from 1382.
399 crestfallen (1) disappointed; (2) with particular reference to the annual symptoms of syphilis, ‘the French disease’, indicating either impotence or hair falling out. Hence Anaides claims in the next line that a majority of Frenchmen have syphilis. Hoy (1980), 1.243 explicates a similar joke in Satiromastix.
401 gentle dor See 5.2.39–47. Presumably at this moment Amorphus surreptitiously removes Philautia’s colours from his own hat (see 426–7n.).
403 Intend Make.
404 SD] in margin in F1
405 In an amusing divergence from the established pattern, instead of competing to get at the mistress, both men hang back and invite the other to go first.
415 tyrant] F3; tyranne F1
416 removed Mercury has made a move towards Phantaste, and thus started his bout.
416 SD] in margin in F1
423 common mistress The woman who is the recipient of the courtship, Phantaste, who took over from Philautia at 396–8.
426–7 Mercury has played a trick on Amorphus, who has tried to win by switching colours (see 401n.), but Mercury is too fast for him. This speech is the climax of the whole scene, but in fact it is unclear exactly how it works. ‘Discoloured’ seems to function as a pun, meaning literally ‘with the coloured ribbons pulled out’, and also its more usual meaning of ‘many-coloured’ (see OED, Discoloured adj. 2; 5.5.69 below; and Chlor., 192, where the rainbow is described as ‘our discoloured bow’). Multiple colours are appropriate to Phantaste’s fantasticness, which may be reflected in her costuming, as at 5.7.34. Gifford suggests that Mercury’s dress as the Frenchified Monsieur is as fantastical as hers, and hence that he already matches her clothing without the need for co-ordinated ribbons. But this still does not explain in what sense Amorphus is given the dor (428). Clearly, some stage action is required, and this solution would be workable: (1) Amorphus removes Philautia’s ribbons from his own hat at around 401; (2) during 406–16, the dispute between Mercury and Amorphus about who goes first becomes a scuffle, in which Mercury surreptitiously swaps hats with Amorphus; (3) Mercury thus approaches Phantaste ‘discoloured’; (4) Amorphus walks up to Phantaste to claim his prize, and discovers (428) that he is wearing a hat with Philautia’s colours, thus falling victim to the dor. Such an exchange of hats would fit with Mercury’s reputation for light-fingeredness (Q 1.1.27–8), and would pay Amorphus back both for his attempted trick here and for the earlier exchange of hats (Q 1.4).
427 SD] in margin in F1
428 palpable able to be felt. Cf. Ham., 5.2.92, where, like here, it is used by the observer of a courtly competition: ‘a hit, a very palpable hit’. Indeed, if the participants have changed hats in a scuffle, this line might invite parodic reference to the climactic duel of Hamlet.
434 ward defence; a fencing term.
436 countenance support (OED, n. 8); quibbling on ‘discountenanced’ (embarrassed).
437 solecism blunder.
439 a lady i.e., Phantaste.
439 of . . . year A common expression describing bucks and deer, here demeaningly applied to a woman. Cf. Volp., 1.5.108–9, glossed by Ostovich, Comedies, as ‘in the first season of her womanhood’.
443 as close . . . cockle Another favourite Jonson simile, referring to the closeness with which the two halves of a cockleshell fit together. It reappears in Cat., 2.1.344–5; Alch., 3.3.69; and Hym., 472. Traced by Gifford to a late Latin epigram attributed to the Emperor Gallienus in Scriptores Historiae Augustae, ‘Vita Gallieni’, 11: non murmura vestra columbae, bracchia non hederae, non vincent oscula conchae, ‘doves cannot better your murmurs, ivy cannot entwine better than your arms, and cockleshells are not closer than your lips’. Cf. Tilley, C499.
444 ’em The kisses.
444 wench A demeaning form of address to Phantaste.
448 garb-master Master at the art of clothing; a derogatory description of Amorphus.
450 seven or nine Seven would be the usual number for the liberal sciences: Anaides’s uncertainty most likely reflects his ignorance, although conversely he is an expert in the ‘illiberal sciences’ (Q 2.2.75). Traiano Boccalini’s Ragguagli di Parnaso includes the remark that soldiery and butchery are the eighth and ninth liberal sciences: see John Selden, Table Talk (1689), 44.
451 freshmen newcomers (particularly in an academic sense).
455 Dagonet King Arthur’s fool. Also alluded to in EMO, 4.3.187; and Bart. Fair, 5.5.76.
460 swinge beat.
463 forgive give up.
466 The perfect close The last event of the four at which Mercury and Amorphus have competed.
467 pay your scholarity i.e. get my revenge on your scholarliness.
467 Who offers Who goes first?
468 that advantage The participants perceive an advantage to going second, in that the later knows the standard that he has to beat.
469 liberal Suggests humane learning, hated by Anaides: cf. ‘illiberal’ at Q 2.2.75, and 5.4.450n.
469 sconce head.
470 upon the answer Meaning unclear.
471 hobby-horse fool. Crushing for Amorphus, who until now has been the natural leader of the gallants.
476 stalk gait. Cf. 3.4.12 and n.
478 SD A charge] in margin in F1
480 Crites starts his bout at the ‘perfect close’. No lady has yet taken her place as the recipient.
480 piece woman. See Q 1.3.23.
480–1 are you she It is probably Moria whom Crites singles out, since she is the nearest Anaides has to a partner in this sequence.
487 appear] F1 state 2; good F1 state 1
487 give you] F1 state 3; giue F1 states 1–2
488 but so – What happens at the end of a ‘perfect close’? The audience have not yet seen one executed successfully, but it involves touching the lady (374n.) and the reward is a ‘banquet’ of kisses (5.3.84). A ‘perfect close’, then, seems to consist of achieving a kiss from the lady. If Crites follows this logic, the dash here marks him kissing Moria (and rather roughly, since he is impersonating Anaides).
494–5 ] italics and no quotation marks in F1
494–5 Untraced, but a commonplace. Judson, Cynthia, compares Claudian, De Raptu Proserpinae, 3.197: Levius communia tangunt, ‘things that happen in common wound us less severely’; but cf. also the neo-Latin line cited in Marlowe, Doctor Faustus, 2.1.42: solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris, ‘it is a comfort to the wretched to have company in their pain’, and Seneca, Ad Marciam de Consolatione, 12.5: Malivolum solacii genus est turba miserorum, ‘A crowd of unhappy people is a miserable sort of comfort.’
496–502 Crites’s mock-blazon parodies standard tropes of Elizabethan love poetry in its list of conventional comparisons. H&S compare Griffin, Fidessa, 39, and Daniel, Delia, 18; and several other analogous poems are listed by Judson, Cynthia, but with one exception (499n.) it seems hard to identify particular sources.
496 Ambition i.e. Hedon. The bout is still in progress – it doesn’t conclude until the flourish at 502 SD – and therefore, perhaps, in the lines that follow, Crites performs a second consecutive ‘perfect close’, this time closing in on and kissing Hedon’s mistress Philautia.
497 theft Stolen items (OED, n. 2).
498 goldilocks golden hair.
498 white and red i.e. complexion.
499 gnomon The pointer in the middle of a sundial. Berringer (1943), 17, notes an apparent source in John Davies of Hereford, ‘The Picture of Formosity’, in Wit’s Pilgrimage (?1605), N1v: ‘Her nose, the gnomon of Love’s dial bright, / Doth, by those suns, still shadow out that light / That makes Time’s longest hours, but moments seem.’ This was not printed till after 1605, and Berringer proposes therefore that the F1 additions postdate 1601, but it is hard to be confident that Davies’s poem is the sole source for the image, or that the poem was not widely known in manuscript before 1601. H&S concede that this phrase might be a later retouching.
500–02 other . . . manifest With obvious bawdy potential as he advances on Philautia.
502 Yours . . . own A parody of a phrase with which one might end a love letter, as at EMO, 3.2.34.
502 Hoyden Bumpkin. See 496n.
502 SD] in margin in F1
503 By now, if the ‘perfect close’ has been followed through each time, Phantaste, Moria, and Philautia have all been subjected to unexpected kisses. One staging possibility, then, is to have Crites now turn in a predatory fashion towards the only other woman on stage, Asotus’s sister, thus prompting this response.
504–7 Mercury’s speech is a quatrain; cf. 510–11, 519–20.
504 courting-stocks The women are reduced to mere properties to practise courting on. See Q 3.5.111n.
506 guilty . . . gilt A common quibble, as at Mac., 2.2.57–8.
506 blocks Lumps of wood, and ‘often used in similes as a type of inertia, senselessness, stupidity’ (OED, n. 1b); ‘gilt blocks’, then, are dull things with speciously impressive coatings.
507 SD] G; not in F1
510 fighting . . . rod An allusion to Mercury’s caduceus. Cf. Q 1.2.12, and also 5.5.15 below. Kissing the rod with which one had been beaten was a symbol of submission to one’s punishment (OED, v. 6i).
511 Crites means that it would be an act of godlike power to get the gallants to submit to their punishment gladly, and perhaps implies that Mercury will gain more worshippers through such a miracle.
517 his i.e. the ‘any’ person described in 512.
519 son of earth In the sense that it lives in the ground.
521 estate prestige.
522 form mere etiquette (OED, n. 15).
524 shown nakedness The fact that their nakedness has been revealed to them. ‘Nakedness’ picks up on 518, but also carries obvious overtones of the story of the Fall (Genesis, 3.6).
526 No exact source traced, but cf. Seneca, Hercules Furens, 250–2: prosperum ac felix scelus / Virtus vocatur, sontibus parent boni, / ius est in armis, opprimunt leges timor, ‘successful and fortunate crime is called Virtue, good men obey bad men, might is right, and fears crush the law’.
527–44 This passage is cast as a single, long, complex grammatical structure, although its grammatical logic breaks down. The first part may be paraphrased: Zeal belongs to every knowing man. It is like a volcano, covered over with hills of disrespect by the fools, but still shooting out bursts of fire to inflame the bosoms of the virtuous, with love of finer things than these (527–32).
529 fancies] F1 (phant’sies)
530 Etna Sicilian volcano. Cf. Seneca, Hercules Furens, 105–6: acrior mentem excoquat / quam qui caminis ignis Aetnaeis furit, ‘let a fiercer flame than that which burns in the forge-fires of Etna roast his mind’.
530 his fires i.e. the fires of the zeal (527), not of the knowing man.
532 outward Concerned with appearance, not reality.
532 effeminate In contrast to virtue which is ‘manlike’ (546).
532 shades shadows, and therefore a type of what is unreal. OED cites Sidney’s translation of Psalm 39: ‘They are but shades, not true things where we live’ (OED, Shade n. 5b). It is unclear whether the ‘shades’ are the courtiers themselves, or, perhaps more likely, the things they love.
536 converted on This is where the grammar breaks down, since ‘converted on’ can only mean ‘turned on to’, with an implied image of a gaze, which in turn requires a subject that can see. Lines 533–44 may be paraphrased: The effect of zeal will be that their wills turn their attention from the vain joys they’ve been consuming their powers on, towards works fitting men; and that their wills will study, not those other worthless skills (537–8), but proper worthy things (539–42), which it would be sacrilegious not to study (543–4). But 533 has left the ‘vain joys’ as the subject of the clause, rather than (as the meaning requires) ‘their wills’. Such inconsistency would not be noticeable in performance.
537 for instead of.
538 antic] F1 (antique)
542 God’s high figures Cf. Genesis, 1.26: ‘And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness.’
542 in power in their power, in potentia.
546 exempt picked out.
549 SD] G; not in F1
5.5 ] F1 (Act V. Scene V.); 4.6 Q (SCENA. 6.)
0 SD] F1 (Arete, Crites.)
5.5 This scene corresponds to Q’s 4.6.
1–2 ] F1; Crit. —. A masque, bright Arete? Q
3 Hercules See Q 4.3.258n.
7 their i.e. the courtiers’.
7 unmeasurable (1) unable to be measured; (2) unfit for dancing in measures.
9 concord’s . . . contraries Quintilian, 1.10.12, illa dissimilium concordia quam vocant ἁρμονίαν: ‘they call a concord of dissimilar sounds harmony’. Crites, however, goes on to argue that the gallants are too similar to one another for such harmony to be possible; they are like a group of notes only a semitone apart.
11 sort collection.
13 analogy In its strict mathematical sense of ‘appropriate ratio’ (OED, n. 1). Crites observes that in order to obtain harmony, musical notes have to be from widely separated pitches.
14 but merely i.e. merely; ‘but’ is redundant.
15 Hermes’ wand Mercury’s caduceus, used in leading the dead to the underworld. See Virgil, Aeneid, 2.242–4, and Q 1.1.89.
17 strife of Chaos Jonson pointedly diverges from Ovid, Met., 1.18–21. For Ovid, hanc litem deus et melior litem natura diremit, ‘God and better nature dissolved the struggle [of the elements of Chaos].’ Jonson omits Nature and replaces with Christian light imagery.
20 eccentric ‘In the Ptolemaic astronomy, an orbit not having the earth precisely in its centre’ (OED).
22 (1) As goddess of the moon, Cynthia rules over the tides; (2) an allegorical tribute to Elizabeth’s sea power.
23 though . . . not i.e. even if the mere sight of Cynthia failed to work its transformative magic. ‘Throughout the play, moral restraint is conceived of as multiple’ (Loewenstein, 1984, 85).
26 ring limits.
28 masked] F1 (masqu’d)
29 incorporate (1) make into a team; (2) make into a new body.
30–1 laws;/Or] F1; laws, or / A Q
31 body . . . diseases Imagery of the body politic: cf. Cor., 1.1.93–155.
32–3 The structure is chiastic, since 32 describes the body (31), and 33 the state (30).
34–6 for . . . employed Other people (i.e. other than the vain courtiers) should be chosen to be the ‘revellers’ – the participants in the masque.
39 Crites . . . purposèd] F1; is not done (my Criticus) Q
43 Of On.
45 to root completely.
48 her] F1; thy Q
53 enkindled set on fire; hence, because ‘sense’ carries the meaning of modern ‘sensuality’, lustful.
55 thy gracious name (1) since ‘Arete’ literally means ‘virtue’; (2) recalling the Catholic practice of devotion to the Name of Mary. Cf. Q 3.4.68 and n.
56 well shall] F1; shall Q
58 SD] Q; not in F1
59 Phoebus Apollo Sun god, as at 5.9.1, but invoked here as the god of poetry.
65 Cyllenian Mercury was born on Mount Cyllene, and is called on here as a patron of wit and invention.
65 Maia’s Mercury’s mother.
69 statues] F1; Statue Q
69 discoloured many-coloured. Whalley calls this speech ‘truly noble, and not unworthy of a classic author’, comparing it to Chryses’ prayer to Apollo in Homer, Iliad, 1.
70 thrive i.e. cause invention to thrive: the archaic transitive form of the verb (OED, v. 4).
72 sight i.e. her sight of it. Loewenstein (1984), 82, notes the ‘complex effects of gaze’ invoked here, contrasting Q 1.5.35–59.
72 SD] Q; not in F1
5.6 ] F1 (Act V. Scene VI.); 5.1 Q (ACTVS QVINTVS. / SCENA. I.)
5.6 Corresponds to 5.1 in Q.
0 SD hesperus He is on stage only in Act 5, and has no lines apart from the song. As the Evening Star, he is an appropriate character to introduce the moon goddess. But Lees-Jeffries (2003) notes that Spenser’s Prothalamion finishes with an extended comparison between Essex and Hesperus, and argues that ‘Queen and huntress’ could be read as a plea for clemency for Actaeon/Essex.
0 The Hymn] F1; Hymnus Q
1 Queen and huntress A prayer to Cynthia as moon goddess (and ‘huntress’, since Diana (19) was also the goddess of hunting). ‘This lyric in its stately beauty anticipates the manner of Milton’ (H&S). Loewenstein (1984), 87, calls it ‘the play’s most grave transition — though it is never quite complete — enacting the transfer of dramatic centrality from day to night, from vice to virtue, and a shift into the lyrical mode even more extreme, perhaps, than that which begins the final act of The Merchant of Venice’. Butler (1995a), however, observes that its purpose is to introduce the purging and clarifying of the court. For textual analysis, see Rackin (1962). Chan (1980), 55–6, notes that no early music exists, but suggests that the lyric ‘imitated, and would be complemented by, a dance form and dance music in the style of Dowland’s early Ayres, for instance’. Among later settings are Benjamin Britten’s in Serenade for Tenor, Horn, and Strings (1943), and Mike Oldfield’s on the album Incantations (1978).
4 To keep state is to ‘observe the pomp and ceremony befitting a high position; to keep one’s dignity, behave in a dignified manner’ (OED, State n. 19). But ‘state’ can also mean throne, or the canopy for the throne (OED, n. 20). Cf. Mac., 3.4.5, where Lady Macbeth ‘keeps her state’ by not coming down and joining the other guests; and Milton, Il Penseroso, 37–8: ‘Come, but keep thy wonted state.’
7–8 Earth, do not cause a lunar eclipse.
15 hart (1) deer, an invocation of Cynthia’s mercy as a huntress; (2) heart, with reference to her emotional effect on her courtiers (Wiltenburg, 1990, 17); (3) with allusion to Actaeon, referring back to Act 1; (4) hence, perhaps with particular application to Elizabeth and Essex.
18 SD] Q (subst.); not in F1
19–23 Cynthia insists that she is not like a (male) miser. Edmund Wilson (1948), 221, notes a contradiction: Cynthia frequently denies things to those around her, most of all in not permitting sexual love in her court, and he reads her miserliness as anticipating a streak of this in many Jonson characters, in Volpone most of all.
19 Diana i.e. Cynthia. See Q Number and Names of the Actors, 1n.
19 wretch miser.
20 glitters i.e. is splendid (OED, v. 2).
20 soothèd (1) comforted; (2) flattered. Another version of self-love.
23 still-repairèd constantly replenished (alluding to the moon’s waxing and waning).
23 shine moonlight.
24 virgin-waxen (1) with reference to Cynthia’s virginity; (2) fresh, new, or unused beeswax (OED, Virgin wax n.).
28 kind race.
29 what . . . desert how are they deserving of it?
30–2, 63–7, 74–5, 87–9, 111 ] each line preceded by quotation marks in F1
31 by] F1; but Q
34 could] F1; should Q
35–6 It . . . worthily i.e. Cynthia should perform her role properly, not for the sake of the unworthy humans who benefit, but as a consequence of her own worthiness. By extension, this maxim is applied to all rulers.
37–8 the heavens . . . do Neither Jove nor Cynthia are ‘fed’ (40) by the sacrifices made to them, in the sense that they do not need them for food; however, they are nonetheless pleased by them. Talbert (1943), 207, argues that Arete’s speech derives from Seneca, De Beneficiis, 4.9.1: plurima beneficia ac maxima in nos deus defert sine spe recipiendi, quoniam nec ille conlato eget nec nos ei conferre possumus, ergo benficiium per se expetenda res est, ‘God confers very many and very great benefits upon us without hope of recompense, since he does not lack for what he has given away, and we cannot give any benefit to him. Therefore, a benefit is something to be sought for its own sake.’
41 reeking The mot juste for freshly shed blood at a sacrifice. Cf. JC, 3.1.158: ‘Now, whilst your purpled hands do reek and smoke’; and Cym., 1.2.3, where exercise has made Cloten ‘reek as a sacrifice’.
42–4 Yet . . . redolent ‘You are pleased by the fragrant smells, because they indicate the respect (care) which you have from mortals. Mortals are wise to be thus respectful towards you, since it is in their own interests not to make you angry’.
48 for or F2’s reading ‘or for’ clarifies tangled grammar.
54 Cupid See Q, Number and Names of the Actors, 3n.
55–62 A complex, Latinate sentence, with the subject and verb at the end: ‘Neither night nor court would enjoy our light, if we discovered any imputations [etc.].’
55–7 if . . . stand i.e. if we discovered that any allegations stood. An ‘accusative plus infinitive’ construction, modelled on Latin.
55 veilèd i.e. dimmed. One of a series of references preparing for Cynthia’s unveiling. See Zender (1978).
56 what . . . discern at the moment we don’t observe it to be the case that there are imputations standing (etc.).
58 fame reputation.
59 near imminent.
60 empire rulership.
61 this whatsoever shine ‘Whatsoever’ functions as an adjective, meaning ‘any at all’ (OED, a. 3b). Cynthia warns that if she suspected any imputations, no one would enjoy her grace or her light at all, not even this small amount of light (i.e. the ‘veilèd’ light which she is currently shedding).
62 unhappily inappropriately.
63 privy stealthy (OED, adj. 6).
68 Cynthianly (OED’s sole example).
70 regards attention, watchfulness.
71 true virginity Cf. Milton, A Masque at Ludlow, 419–20, for the belief that chastity benefits from an almost magical protection.
72 Phoebe Alternative title for Cynthia, as sister of Phoebus Apollo.
73 suspicion Perhaps an echo of Julius Caesar’s remark, as translated by North from Plutarch’s Life (Plutarch, 1964, 30): ‘I will not . . . that my wife be so much as suspected.’
74 broad-seals Grants the highest authorization, since this seal is the Great Seal of England (OED’s sole example).
77–8 I do not ask what the argument (subject) of our entertainment will be.
79–80 Cf. MND, 5.1.82–3, where Theseus is similarly generous towards amateurish entertainments at court: ‘For never anything can be amiss / When simpleness and duty tender it.’
80 written . . . forehead i.e. plainly expressed.
81–2 unto . . . furniture who has thought up tonight’s entertainment?
83 a man’s] F1; mans Q
88 doth want is missing.
91 than . . . esteem] F1; more loue then Criticus Q
92 Phoebus In his capacity as god of poetry.
93 convinceth offers convincing proof of.
99 cherishment nourishment; a word with a more practical flavour than merely ‘cherishing’.
105–6 We have vowed always to esteem fortune as base, and, also, to esteem virtue at its true worth.
110 Cynthia gives Arete the task of introducing Crites to her.
110 Let’t] F2; Let’ F1; Let Q
5.7 ] F1 (Act V. Scene VII.); 5.2 Q (SCENA. 2.)
0.2 SD to them] in margin in F1
5.7 Corresponds to 5.2 in Q. Court entertainments frequently took the form of fictitious visits from foreign royalty; cf. LLL, 5.2, and subsequent Jonson masques, esp. Blackness. On the other hand, the underlying figure of paradiastole, in which each vice is repackaged as its neighbouring virtue, links the two masques in Cynthia to the morality tradition. Jonson may have known Skelton’s Magnificence (written (1515–16) or Udall’s Respublica (1553), in which, for instance, Insolence assumes the name of Authority.
0 sd.1 anteros Anti-Eros, in Greek myth the half-brother and enemy of Eros (Cupid). He is usually interpreted as the god of unhappy love, but Jonson uses him as a figure of Love Requited in Challenge at Tilt and Bolsover, and as Love of Virtue in Love Restored. The advantage, for Cupid, of his disguise as Anteros is that it permits him to carry the quiver full of arrows, described at 5.10.14, with which he intends to fulfil his mission of wreaking havoc at Cynthia’s court.
2 illustrious] Q; illustrous F1
3 Perfection Jonson, or rather Crites, appears to have invented this personification. Astraea, goddess of justice, is usually described as unable to remain on earth due to its imperfections (Ovid, Met. 1; Gold. Age). Inigo Jones had a design for a ‘Palace of Perfection’ (c. 1620): see Orgel and Strong (1973), 298, 300.
7 whose i.e. Cynthia’s.
9 truly themselves An important theme of the play. Cf. Q 1.2.34; and 5.8.35 below.
9 enthronized Variant of ‘enthroned’.
12 mound globe; from Lat. mundus, ‘world’: ‘orb or ball of gold or other precious material, intended to represent the globe of the earth’ (OED, n.1 2). Cf. 5.8.10n.
14 rarities (magical) properties; this is a crystal ball as well as a royal symbol.
16 irradiate illuminated.
17 more] F1; the more Q
20 The] F1; 1 The Q
20 citron lemon-yellow.
21 Storge Pronounced as a disyllable. From Gr. στοργή, ‘instinctive affection’; usually parental love, but applied here to describe the instinct of self-preservation. Scolnicov (1987), 94 shows that Jonson is using the distinction made by Aristotle in Nichomachean Ethics, 9.8.1168b, between vicious and virtuous self-love. Since the part is played by Philautia, the vice thus appears transformed into a virtue, as happens also with her colleagues.
21 nearest i.e. dearest: Terence, Andria, 4.1.12: Proximus sum egomet mihi, ‘I am the nearest to myself.’
24 device As in Blackness, all the masquers carry allegorical pictures (imprese), and there the pictures are painted on fans, but 42 suggests that here pasteboard shields, of the sort normally associated with tournaments, are used. Such shields would participate in a stage tradition along with Kyd, The Spanish Tragedy, 1.4, and, later, Per., 2.2.
24–5 perpendicular . . . square Symbols of measure. A ‘level’ is a builder’s tool similar in purpose to a plumb line. Cf. the emblematic figure of Esychia or Quiet in King’s Ent., 384–6: ‘Her feet were placed on a cube, to show stability, and in her lap she held a perpendicular or level, as the ensign of evenness and rest.’
25 word motto.
25 se suo modulo ‘each by his own standard’ (Lat.). Cf. Horace, Epistles, 1.7.98: metiri se quemque suo modulo ac pede verum est, ‘it is a good thing for each man to measure himself by his own standard and yardstick’.
28 The] F1; 2 The Q
28 Aglaia ‘Splendour’ (Gr. ᾽Αγλαΐα). Traditionally one of the three Graces, and so staged, e.g. by Peele in Descensus Astraeae (1591) and Jonson in Haddington. In Crites’s masque, the role of Aglaia is played by Gelaia.
29 is] F1; it is Q
32 curarum nubila pello ‘I dispel the clouds of cares’ (Lat.). H&S compare to Ovid, Epistulae Ex Ponto, 2.1.5: pulsa curarum nube, ‘with the cloud of cares dispelled’. But it also adapts Ovid, Met., 6.692, where Boreas boasts: tristia nubila pello, ‘I dispel sad clouds.’
34 The] F1; 3 The Q
34 in the] F1; in Q
34 Euphantaste A mock-Greek coinage by Jonson: Phantaste (fantastic), but in a good sense. Cf. the character of Phant’sy in Vision. Played in Crites’s masque by Phantaste.
36 petasus A low-crowned, broad-brimmed Greek hat, particularly associated with Mercury, and therefore appropriate to represent wit and invention.
37 sic laus ingenii ‘thus the praise of wit [grows]’ (Lat.); an untraced motto. But cf. Tacitus, Dialogus de Oratoribus, 37: Crescit enim cum amplitudine rerum vis ingenii, ‘the power of wit increases with the seriousness of the matters in hand’.
39 The] F1; 4 The Q
39 Apheleia ‘Simplicity’ (Gr. ἀφέλ∊ια). Played by Moria. Bednarz (2001), 160, casts Moria as Aglaia and Argurion as Apheleia, but cf. Q 4.5.64–6, and >5.11.79 below.
40 an abrase table A tabula rasa, a wax writing-tablet that has been scraped smooth, erasing the previous writing, so that it is can be reused.
41 pleats Folds of cloth, hence suggesting deviousness and hidden artifice (cf. OED, Plait n. 1c).
42 no device Not an original idea: Sidney, The Countess of Pembroke’s Arcadia, 354–5, has a knight ‘whose device was to come without any device, all in white, like a new knight’.
43 omnis abest fucus ‘no make-up is present’ (Lat.). Untraced, but cf. More, Utopia (1518), 27, commending Peter Giles: nemini longius abest fucus, ‘there is no one from whom make-up is further removed’; and Jonson’s own motto in ‘Nashe’, 1.552–3, line 31: fucis non nervis careo, ‘I lack make-up but not strength.’
46 Cythere] F1 (CYTHEREE)
46 Cythere A title of Venus, from her geographical association with Cythera. Trisyllabic.
47 quaternion ‘set of four’ (Lat.). Cf. also Bolsover, 41.
47 quaternion] F1 state 2; Quaternio Q; Quaternion F1 state 1
5.8 ] F1 (Act V. Scene VIII.); 5.3 Q (SCENA. 3.)
5.8 Corresponds to 5.3 in Q.
0 SD] this edn; Cynthia, Arete, Crites. F1
1–14 Cynthia sees a miraculous vision of Elizabeth. Judson, Cynthia, argues that the masque has created this by using a figure representing Elizabeth and perhaps scenic effects too. This would be an effect analogous to Daniel’s The Vision of the Twelve Goddesses (1604), where the masque is presented as a projection of the Sibyl’s vision. However, 1–3 and 29–30 suggest that no vision is actually staged: Cynthia merely gazes into the crystal mound. Thus Crites is established not merely as a writer but as a possessor of magical powers of the sort associated in the Renaissance with the poet-magus Virgil.
3 This . . . wit The crystal mound.
5 laurel Symbol of conquerors.
6 olive Symbol of peace.
7 sea-girt rocks Q reads ‘sea-girt rock’ (see Q 5.3.7 and n.) Given that the singular ‘rock’ might directly allegorize England, the change here might be taken as evidence of revision by a Jacobean Jonson now thinking in terms of Britain; but the reference is oblique, and other reasons for the change are by no means ruled out.
7 rocks] F1; Rocke Q
8 front forehead.
10 Another Cynthia With this indirect figuring of Elizabeth, cf. MND, 2.1.156ff., introducing a distant vision of her as a ‘fair Vestal’. Cf. also Merlin’s ‘world of glass’ in Spenser, The Faerie Queene, 3.2.18–21, another magical crystal ball presented as a gift to a ruler.
11 plenilune full moon (from Lat. plenilunium).
14 make approach] F1; approach Q
15 pall Literally, make pale; hence, make feeble (OED, v.1).
15 pall] F1 (paule)
17, 34 ] preceded by quotation marks in F1
17 SD] not in F1; but see massed entry at 5.8.0
18 Lo . . . man Cf. Spenser, The Faerie Queene, 1 Proem, 1.1: ‘Lo I the man’. Based in turn on the pseudo-Virgilian opening to Renaissance editions of the Aeneid: Ille ego qui, ‘I am the man who’. Is Jonson looking to give Crites a similar Spenserian, and hence pseudo-Virgilian stature?
18 Delia See 4.1.26n.
19 circle A favourite Jonsonian image of completeness: see Greene (1970).
22–3 nobler . . . composed Translating Juvenal, Satires, 14.34–5; see 5.1.38–9n.
22 mould earth.
24 though . . . to even though nothing was given to him by way of.
26–7 his . . . best i.e. his reward.
31 enstyled, our] F1 (enstil’d); our Q
34 supreme highest; used for both royalty and deity (OED, adj. 2, 4).
39 Thine] F1; Thy Q
39 most unworthy] F1; vnworthy Q
40 shine An optative: ‘may it shine’.
46 marks landmarks.
46 m’endeavour’s] F1 (m’indeuours)
5.9 Corresponds to 5.4 in Q.
5.9 ] F1 (Act V. Scene IX.); 5.4 Q (SCENA. 4.)
2 Eutaxia ‘Orderly behaviour’ (Gr. ∊ὐταξία). As with the other names in this scene, Eutaxia is derived from classical Greek, but has no known previous history of personification.
4 solemnity ceremonial occasion.
4 officiously dutifully.
4 insinuate Not yet a pejorative word.
5 cardinal virtues ‘In scholastic philosophy, justice, prudence, temperance, and fortitude’ (OED, n. 2a). ‘Cardinal’ literally means ‘pertaining to hinges’, hence the metaphor in ‘frame’ and ‘move’. The application to courtliness appears to be Jonson’s invention.
7 compliment] F1 (complement)
8–9 javelins . . . state H&S interpret ‘state’ as the canopy over a throne (OED, State n. 20b), and therefore assume that ‘javelins’ is perhaps an otherwise unattested technical term for the poles with which Elizabethan courtiers bore up such a canopy. But it may be used in a more abstract sense of ‘stateliness’, and ‘javelins’ may refer, more literally, to the ceremonial staves or weapons carried by attendants on Elizabethan dignitaries (OED, Javelin n. 2, and Javelin-man n.).
9 presence i.e. the presence chamber.
13 impresas imprese: see 5.7.24n.
13 impresas] F1 (Impreses)
14 symbols Cf. Blackness, 223, where Jonson uses symbols rather than imprese ‘as well for strangeness as relishing of antiquity’. McManus (1998) discusses Jonson’s interest in hieroglyphics.
15 First, the] F1; 1 The Q
15 changeable Shot through with another colour.
16 fashioned] F1; fashionate Q
16 Eucosmos ‘orderly’, or ‘well-mannered’ (Gr. ∊ὐκοσμος). Played by Amorphus.
18 divae virgini ‘to the divine virgin’ (Lat.), a phrase which, in Catholic worship, means the Virgin Mary.
20 The] F1; 2 The Q
20 impaled Placed side by side, separated by a vertical line (usually in heraldry).
21 Eupathes ‘Enjoying good things’ (Gr. ∊ὐπαθης). Played by Hedon.
22 incurious careless.
23 superfluity] F1; superfluities Q
24 embroideries] F1; Imbroyders Q
24 fare dine.
25 therefore, not] Q; therefore not (not F1)
26 of fine humour Diet was believed to be an important factor in determining humoral make-up.
26 divae optimae ‘to the best goddess’ (Lat.). As Mercury notes, this formula would be more usual for Jove. Cf. also King’s Ent., 549, where an altar bears the inscription D. I. O. M.: Domino Iacobo Optimo Maximo, ‘to the best and greatest lord, James’.
28 The] F1; 3. The Q
28 Eutolmos ‘Brave-spirited’ (Gr. ∊ὐτολμος). Played by Anaides.
31 divae viragini ‘to the divine virago’ (Lat.). A ‘virago’ is a female warrior, or a woman with masculine qualities. In Seneca, Phaedra, 51, Hippolytus uses this phrase in praying to Diana (H&S).
33 The] F1; 4. The
33 watchet-tinsel Sky-blue cloth shot through with gold or silver thread.
33 benefic beneficient.
33 Eucolos ‘Good-natured’, or ‘benevolent’ (Gr. ∊ὐκολος). Played by the prodigal Asotus. Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics, 2.7, uses the confusion between prodigality and liberality as his paradigmatic example of paradiastole, and Baskervill (1911), 248, suggests a ‘probable influence’ of Aristotle on the whole passage. All the characters in the masque are noble allegorical figures, and all are played by debased courtiers.
35 double Cf. bis dat qui dat celeriter, ‘he who gives aid quickly, gives twice over’ (Publilius Syrus, Sententiae, 274, but widely quoted elsewhere).
37 divae maximae ‘to the best goddess’ (Lat.); another formula usually more applicable to Jove.
37 adjunct ‘a qualifying addition to a word or name’ (OED, n. 4).
38 heaven . . . hell Referring to elements of Cynthia’s identity: in heaven as Luna, the moon goddess; on earth as Diana; in hell as Hecate. Cf. Chapman, Hymnus in Cynthiam, in Poems (1962), 31: ‘Nature’s bright eyesight, and the Night’s fair soul / That with thy triple forehead dost control / Earth, seas and hell’; and Berry (1994), 139–41.
5.10 This scene and 5.11 correspond to 5.5 in Q.
5.10 ] F1 (Act V. Scene X.); 5.5 Q (SCENA. 5.)
0 SD] Cvpid, Mercvrie. / (in margin) The Maskes / ioyne, and / they / dance. F1 state 1; The Maskes / ioyne, and / dance. F1 state 2; THE MASQVES Ioyne. / Cupid. Mercury. Q
1 traveller] F1 (trauailer)
2 As though . . . not How could it be anyone else?
2 travail The same pun as at 4.1.3 and n.
5 nomenclator announcer (OED, n. 4, first example). A term with overtones of Roman antiquity, since he was the steward who assigned guests to their places at a banquet (OED, n. 3).
6 a comedy Cupid’s plan to make them all fall in love.
7 Cupid . . . comedy i.e. The joke will be turn out to be on Cupid.
8 match i.e. Cupid intends to act as a matchmaker (OED, Match v.1 1a).
9 mismatch Mercury argues that they are all as bad as each other, so that no pairing would be inappropriate.
10 They are] F1; It is Q
11 above measure exceedingly.
12 would be need to be.
14 flights flight arrows; light arrows for long-distance shooting.
14 rovers Arrows designed for shooting at rovers, that, is, at marks selected at random by the archer.
14 butt-shafts Arrows used for shooting at a butt, that is, a target on an archery ground mounted at a fixed distance from the shooter.
15 brandish Act of shaking an arrow. Jonson does not want the complication of live archery onstage. Cf. Marlowe, Dido, 3.1, where Cupid merely touches Dido with an arrow to achieve the effect.
16 invisible Mercury implies that they can become literally invisible to the other characters (cf. Q 2.3.7). A rare example of Jonson displaying ‘real’ supernatural effects on stage.
19 go near to practically, virtually.
26 antiperistasis contrary circumstance. In particular, a scientific term describing the alleged effect whereby heat is intensified by being surrounded by its opposite, intense cold (OED, n.).
30 marrow i.e. bone marrow.
30 or unless.
31 SD] F1 state 2 (in margin); They hauc dan- / ced the first straine F1 state 1 (in margin); They daunce the 1. straine. Q
31 SD strain A piece of music (OED, n.2 12).
32 splendidious magnificent. See also Case, 5.6.168; EMO, 2.2.65; and Volp., 2.2.70.
34 not] F1; no Q
37 tire headdressing, as at 3.4.80.
39 school of glass i.e. mirror: Phantaste’s narcissistic equivalent of Crites’s transcendent ‘world of glass’ (Spenser, The Faerie Queene, 3.2.19.9).
40 ruffling rumpling up; usually used of textiles, but also applicable to hair and skin. Cf. EMO, 1.2.48–9, where Carlo instructs Sogliardo to ‘ruffle your brow like a new boot’.
41 with as a result of.
44 ignis fatue Will-o’-the-wisp.
44 ignis fatue] F1; Hell-fire Q
49 deluded deceived.
50 SH] Q; Mor. F1
52 Choler (1) Anger; (2) the one of the four humours associated with fire, and believed to create anger.
53 presaged See 25–7.
55 resty sluggish; like ‘restive’, it can also mean ‘fidgety’.
56 Ex ungue An ellipsis of the proverb: ex ungue leonem, ‘[you may discover the size of] a lion from his claw’ (Erasmus, Adagia, 1579–80, 1.9.34).
63 Anteros See 5.2.0 SD.1 and headnote.
65 presentment presentation.
66 decorum appropriateness, particularly in an artistic sense: ‘the doctrine of truth to type which Jonson held as of the essence of his art’ (H&S, 10.116). Cf. Bart. Fair, Induction, 119; and Alch., 5.5.159. By impersonating Anteros, Cupid starts to take on his properties. Cf. also Discoveries, 785–7: ‘we so insist in imitating others, as we cannot (when it is necessary) return to ourselves; like children, that imitate the vices of stammerers so long, till at last they become such’.
67 personate impersonate; a newly fashionable word to describe acting: see Haynes (1992), 26–33.
69 The attempt (i.e. to use the arrows) should not have been made.
71 SD] in margin in F1; They daunce the 2. straine. Q
72 dotard on in love with.
74 Cupid] F1; not in Q
80 serve i.e. be of use to.
81 like likely.
81 it] F1; prettily well Q
83 The more normal proverbial expression is ‘One is no number’ (Tilley O54).
84 favour sponsorship.
84 SD] in margin in F1; They daunce the 3. straine. Q
85 honey-bee Cupid was emblematically associated with honey.
85 Adonis’ garden In classical mythology, Venus keeps her mortal beloved Adonis (killed by a boar) half-alive in a garden of sensual pleasure. See Spenser, The Faerie Queene, 3.6.
5.11 ] F1 (Act. V. Scene XI); no scene division in Q
0 ] F1 (Cynthia, Arete, Crites, / Masqvers.)
1–2 gallants . . . And] F1; gallants, / To Q
5.11 2 period point of completion (OED, n. 5a).
3 declining night The end of night; sunrise is approaching. Jacobean masques and entertainments frequently use sunrise as a moment of conclusion. Cf. Cynthia’s final speech in Marston’s Entertainment at Ashby (perf. 1607): ‘the night / (Wherein pale Cynthia claims her right) / Is almost spent’ (Poems, 1961, 205).
4 darker half Of the twenty-four hours.
7 crown i.e. the most important part of her thanks.
9 some Within the world of the play, only Echo has openly voiced dissent against Cynthia, and she is not present here.
10 censure judge; not necessarily a pejorative term.
10 us Throughout this speech, Cynthia uses the royal ‘we’.
14 Actaeon A mortal whom Cynthia killed after he saw her bathing: see Q 1.1.69n. Generally taken as an allegorical reference to the disgrace of Elizabeth’s favourite, the Earl of Essex, and perhaps also to his execution (implied in ‘fatal doom’, although H&S argue that this is merely an allegory of his loss of status). Essex had been high in her favour until his unsuccessful military campaign in Ireland, and on his return in September 1599 he famously and disastrously stormed into her bedchamber, surprising her without her make-up, thus (like Actaeon here) trespassing into ‘sacred bowers’ (19). Essex remained in royal disfavour throughout 1600, and in February 1601 he organized an unsuccessful armed rebellion against Elizabeth. He was executed on 25 February 1601. See Introduction for a discussion of the dating implications of this passage, and Lees-Jeffries (2003) for further discussion. Talbert (1943a) rejects the idea that there is any contemporary reference, and argues that all the phrasing is derived from the account of Actaeon in Stephanus’s dictionary, but he is not altogether convincing.
16 swoll’n with pride.
16 Niobe This ‘may be a faint allusion to Mary Queen of Scots, but it is not pressed home like the reference to Actaeon’ (H&S). Judson, Cynthia, also raises the unconvincing possibility that it refers to Arbella Stuart.
17 he i.e. Actaeon. Niobe’s crime in comparing herself to the gods was worse than his presumption in surprising one of them.
17 trophied i.e. made into a trophy.
17 trophied] F1 (trophæed)
20 aspect gaze.
22 brave defy.
22–3 Let . . . heaven We should take care not to offend Heaven. A Latinism (religionem facere). Cf. Spenser, Colin Clouts Come Home Again, 797–800: ‘But we poor shepherds . . . Do make religion how we rashly go.’
26–7, 38–9, 43, 49, 117, 162, 171–5 ] each line preceded by quotation marks in F1
28 repetitions narrations; in particular, recitals of things learned by heart (OED, n.1 2, 3).
31 Let’t] F1; Let Q
35 the same Alluding to Elizabeth’s personal motto: semper eadem ‘always the same’.
36–7 Cynthia has veiled her full majesty (her crown of rays), so as not to blind mortal eyes.
38 beneath the spheres Sublunary, and therefore not immortal like the heavens but open to the effects of ageing and corruption. Hackett (1995) traces uncertainties in late Elizabethan panegyric about whether or not the Moon, and therefore Elizabeth, should be considered free from such mutability. Jonson’s imagery here explores tensions within the panegyric’s awareness of the ageing queen. See Q, Introduction.
41 challenge i.e. claim as a right (OED, v. 5a).
43 Honour is soon angry, but is not bitter afterwards.
44 cast the slumber The metaphor is that her praise brings their toil to a natural conclusion. But the audience may also remember Lyly’s Endymion, in which love for Cynthia indirectly caused Endymion to fall asleep for forty years.
48 mask] F1 (masque)
49 SD] in margin in F1
50 How . . . Ha?] F1; not in Q
50 contemned scorned.
54 forehead shame. Cf. Volp., The Epistle, 10.
55 As farther none So that there is nowhere further to invade.
55 farther] F1 (farder)
61 Or Either.
62 ventured on dared to approach.
64 connivance tacit permission.
67 impostumes swellings or abscesses; hence, commonly, in this moral sense.
68 lance pierce with a lancet to let out the pus; a medical term.
73 face (1) appearance; (2) Cynthia’s actual face.
75 Anteros? . . . stay] F1; to Anteros? but Q
76 brother Cynthia and Mercury are both children of Jove.
77 ambush i.e. Cupid’s covert attack.
87 privilege personal exemption from the usual public laws; a legal term.
89 SD] Q; not in F1
92 we . . . your] F1; you haue the deepest Q
93 censorian Like the Roman Censors, whose job was to supervise public morals.
94 ripe ready to be lanced; a medical term (OED, adj. 3b).
95 you two] F1; you Q
96 charge responsibility, assignment.
98 what . . . decreed Described at Q 1.1.68–76.
100–1 distinguish . . . censures i.e. distinguish between different occasions, and choose (sort) a system of trial and punishment appropriate to the occasion. As this is a holiday period, Cynthia does not destroy the offenders, but hands them over to Arete and Crites, for punishments but not a death sentence.
103 cite summon to court; a term from ecclesiastical law.
103 Crites, first] F1; Criticus Q
104 Philautia She is first not merely in terms of the order of the masque, but because self-love, or pride, is the root of all other sins.
107 Main Strong.
107 crew company.
110 Brazen Shameless.
112 traveller’s evil i.e. lying. See Q, Number and Names of the Actors, 17n.
115 will decree.
119 Then, Crites, practise] F1; Now Criticus, vse Q
122 Crites far] F1; Criticus Q
123–9 Crites explains his difficulty; he is obliged to be severe (123–5), but also merciful (126–9).
123 vindicative revengeful; at the time, a common alternative spelling of ‘vindictive’ (OED). Jonson also uses it to mean ‘serving to vindicate by defence or assertion’; see Informations, 560.
127 To bring information about them to the attention of Cynthia.
129 Th’indignity] F1; The indignity Q
132 fury An avenging spirit: in particular, suggesting the Eumenides, the Greek goddesses charged with pursuing and tormenting those who have committed crimes.
134 design] F1; define Q
137, 139 SH] F1; Omnes. Q
139 Yes] F1; We doe Q
140 Delia’s i.e. Cynthia’s. See 4.1.26 and note.
143, 152 penance] F1 (pœnance)
145 palinode From Lat. palinodia, ‘a song of recantation’. According to classical legend, Stesichorus’s dispraise of Helen in verse caused him to be cursed with blindness, but his writing of a palinode lifted it. A palinode, then, is a device to avert divine displeasure. Jonson’s use here also invokes an English literary tradition, inviting comparison with the end of Chaucer’s Troilus and Criseyde.
146 several separate.
147 two tears One tear from each eye, symbolically purging them of the eye infections described at Q 1.5.35–7. ‘Tears’ were also commonly used to refer to offerings of verse (e.g. Spenser’s Tears of the Muses), but it would seem hard to enact this meaning onstage.
149 Weeping Cross ‘A place-name occurring in several English counties’ (OED, Weeping Cross n.), referring to crosses perhaps traditionally associated with penitential rites or as resting places in funeral processions. Hence, ‘to come home by Weeping Cross’ is often used metaphorically for ‘to return home in misery’, e.g. Greene, A Quip for an Upstart Courtier, D2: ‘Herein I hold the tailor for a necessary member to teach proud novices the way to Weeping Cross.’ The last metamorphosis of the play is thus a curiously non-exoticizing, domesticating one. Chambers (1923), 3.107, and H&S suggest that a real cross was erected through the trapdoor, but there is nothing to compel this conclusion. Indeed, the next line excludes Christianity altogether, explaining that in Cynthia’s pagan Gargaphie, the cross’s name is because it lies across (i.e. on the way of) the main road.
150 Cynthia’s way Presumably, a main road: the Gargaphian equivalent of ‘the queen’s highway’ (OED, Highway n. 1a).
151 Trivia ‘Three ways meeting’ (Lat.): a title of Cynthia as goddess of crossroads.
153 Midas Cursed by turning everything he touched to gold, the Phrygian king Midas was able to wash it off into the River Pactolus, which then became gold-bearing (Ovid, Met., 11.136–45).
154 Tagus’ Jonson appears to have erred in confusing the gold-bearing Tagus, ‘A river dividing Spain and Portugal, and by the consent of poets styled aurifer [gold-bearing]’ (King’s Ent., marginalia, 32), with the Pactolus in Asia Minor.
157 not] F1; nor Q
163 censure judgement.
163 belov’d Crites] F1; Criticus Q
164 Mercury Cynthia specifies that Mercury is to oversee the punishment. This suggests that Crites is not on stage for the palinode, and that he should be included in the group exit at 175 SD.
169 guerdon reward.
172 head Of a fountain (OED, n.1 16). Cf. the F1 dedication, which develops the image.
172 head] F1; heads Q
174 regard] F1 (reguard)
175 A commonplace. Judson, Cynthia, compares for instance Claudian, De Quarto Consulatu Honorii, 299–300: componitur orbis / regis ad exemplum, ‘the world is formed according to the example of its king’, quoted by King James in Basilicon Doron (1603), 24. Used again in Panegyre, 125–6: ‘kings by their example more do sway / Than by their power.’
175 SD] G; not in F1
Palinode In Satiromastix, 1.2.100–1, Dekker mocks Jonson’s formal innovation by having Horace say: ‘Nay, sirrah, the Palinode, which I mean to stitch to my Revels, shall be the best and ingenious piece that ever I sweat for’; by the end, when Horace has repented, he is himself a ‘palinodical rhymester’ (4.2.69). See also Hoy (1980), 1.212. This palinode is imitated by Middleton at the end of A Trick to Catch the Old One (1607).
0 Palinode] F1; Palinodia Q
1 Spanish shrugs A fashionable affectation, mentioned by Guilpin, Skialetheia, 5.73–4: ‘He, coined in newer mint of fashion, / With the right Spanish shrug shows passion.’
1 irpes grimaces (perhaps). See Q 3.5.65n.
3 defend us A parody of the litany, in which preacher and congregation pray in a call-and-response manner. Cf. the closing song in Nashe, Summer’s Last Will, in Works, 3.292, with its refrain: ‘From winter plague, and pestilence, Lord, have mercy upon us.’ And cf. Gypsies (Windsor), 978–1042.
7 stabbing of arms Another fashionable form of behaviour, apparently with a view to drinking one’s own blood as a sign of loyalty to a mistress. Cf. Dekker, The Honest Whore, Part One, 2.1.435–6, where Bellafronte counts: ‘How many gallants have drunk healths to me / Out of their daggered arms.’
7 flap-dragons A drinking game involving swallowing raisins soaked in burning brandy (OED).
7 healths toasts.
7 whiffs A way of smoking tobacco: see EMO, 3.1.360–85, for a discussion.
10 glicks coquettish glances (OED, Gleek n.2 2).
10 cringes bows.
13 by attorney Indirectly, through deputies.
13 courting of puppets i.e. presumably, courting a woman as a way of gaining access to other women.
16 perfumed dogs Cf. Tomkis, Lingua (1607), H4r: a pomander ‘will make you smell as sweet as my lady’s dog’ (Judson, Cynthia).
16 monkeys Hedon has one as a pet (Q 2.1.29). See also F1 4.2.29.
16 sparrows Kept as pets, but also emblematic of lechery and associated with Cupid.
16 dildos A fashionable sex toy, discussed at length in Nashe’s Choice of Valentines (Works, ed. McKerrow, 3.397–416), and here comic by its juxtaposition with a list of pets. H&S insist that this reference merely refers to popular songs with the word ‘dildo’ in the chorus, and compare WT, 4.4.192–4.
16 paraquitos See 4.2.30 and n.
18 bracelets of hair A love-token. Brisk claims to have received one (EMO, 4.3.261), as does the speaker in Donne’s ‘The Relic’. The other love-tokens here are almost all mentioned elsewhere in Cynthia.
19 posies] F1 (poesies)
21 pargeting Literally, plastering; hence, face painting.
21 slicking i.e. making glossy. Usually referring to leather, but also skin or hair.
21 glazing Cf. 3.4.54 and n.; again, originally an industrial metaphor.
22 rivelled wrinkled.
24 squiring escorting.
30 belying . . . countenance i.e. claiming falsely to have received love-tokens (favours) from ladies, and support (countenance) from noblemen. Cf. 5.4.435–6.
33 SD Gifford, followed by Schelling, gives this song to Mercury and Crites (requiring Crites to re-enter here, after exiting at 5.11.175 SD). It is certainly true that this song, unlike the version in Q, is sung by someone who isn’t part of the procession of fools in the palinode (since it consistently refers to them as ‘you’).
33 SD] F1; CANT Q
37 You] F1; we Q
Epilogue It is not clear by whom this is spoken, or even if it was ever spoken, as opposed to being merely a literary addition. H&S suggest that the speaker is the poet Crites, since the statement about having ‘turned rhymer’ seems to play on the distinction made at Q 2.1.35 about the difference between true poets and mere rhymers. ‘Went in’ perhaps implies that the character has exited and now re-enters, which, if the epilogue follows immediately on the palinode, would make it less likely that the speaker is Mercury or one of the eight foolish gallants involved, especially given the uncertainties surrounding Crites’s probable exit at 5.11.175 SD and possible re-entry for the palinode. A version of the epilogue is transcribed in a 1620s manuscript miscellany, Edinburgh University, H-P. Coll. 401, but there is no warrant for H&S’s statement that it represents an early draft.
0 The Epilogue] F1; Epilogus Q
1 SH] not in F1
3 jealous doubtful (OED, adj. 5b).
8 exact require.
12 were lame would be a weak idea.
16 Prorogues Defers.
18 tax accuse.
20 ‘The point of the joke is that it is the final word on a play which satirizes self-love’ (H&S), which was missed by many contemporaries. Dekker, Satiromastix, 1.2.232–3 alludes to this line, telling Jonson (figured as Horace) that literary success must be earned rather than merely asserted, even if ‘you swear / And make damnation parcel of your oath’. Jonson himself alluded to it (Poet., Induction, 76–81), and the line was widely quoted and parodied: J[ohn] H[eath], The House of Correction (1619), A3v; Shirley, The Witty Fair One (1633), E3r; Lewis Sharpe, The Noble Stranger (1640), G3v; Richard Brome, ‘To my Lord of Newcastle’, in The Weeding of the Covent Garden (1659), A4r. For Richard Whitlock in Zootomia (1654), 24, the line was a moral as well as an artistic statement: ‘Then say (as a poet as justly confident) ’tis good, and if you’ll like it you may: it not being arrogance, but well becoming confidence to scorn the injurious world, when it denieth merit its due.’
20 ‘By . . . may.’] this edn; italics and no quotation marks in F1
20 (—)] F1; God Q
22–3 Quoted from Martial, 6.60.3–4: Laudat, amat, cantat nostros mea Roma libellos, / meque sinus omnes, me manus omnis habet. / Ecce rubet quidam, pallet, stupet, oscitat, odit. / Hoc volo: Nunc nobis carmina nostra placent, ‘My Rome praises, loves, and sings my poems, I am in every breast, in every hand. See a man blush, go pale, be stunned, gape, and hate me. That’s what I want: now my songs please me.’ As at the start, Jonson’s epigraph indicates a deliberately dismissive attitude to hostile audience reaction.
24 comical satire For discussion of this term and the date, see the Introduction to Q.
27–8 Children . . . Chapel See the Introduction to Q.
30 nathan field (bap. 1587, d. 1619/20), the son of the Reverend John Field, a puritan clergyman, attended St Paul’s School until being drafted into the Children of the Chapel, and also named in the cast lists of Poetaster and Epicene. He was Jonson’s ‘scholar’, and went on to become one of the leading actors of his day, as well as a noted playwright (M. E. Williams, 2004). His appearing first in the list implies he took a major role in this play, possibly that of Amorphus.
30 nathan] F1 (Nat.)
30 john underwood (d. 1624) also appears in the cast list of Poetaster. He went on to a career as adult actor and sharer in the Blackfriars, Globe, and Curtain theatres. His name appears in more than twenty cast lists, and he played the role of Delio in the first production of The Duchess of Malfi (Bentley, 1942–68, 2.610–11).
30 john] F1 (Ioh.)
31 salomon pavy (bap. 1588, d. 1602), was born in the parish of St Dunstan’s, Stepney. He was among those children allegedly abducted by Nathaniel Giles to serve as a child actor (see Steggle, 2005). In this capacity, he also appears in the cast list of Poetaster. Jonson commemorated his early death in Epigr. 120, praising him as ‘the stage’s jewel’. Pavy may well have played Criticus in the first production: for discussion, see Praeludium, 176n.
31 salomon] F1 (Sal.)
31 robert baxter (fl. 1600–1), child actor, otherwise almost unknown (Nungezer, 1929, 32; Ashbee and Lasocki, 1998, 134).
31 robert] F1 (Rob.)
32 thomas day (d. 1654) also appears in the cast list of Poetaster. He enjoyed a long subsequent career as a singing-man and lutenist, becoming one of the Gentlemen of the Chapel Royal, and performed in numerous masques. In 1634 he succeeded Nathaniel Giles as Master of the Children of the Chapel (Ashbee and Lasocki, 1998, 338–40).
32 thomas] F1 (Tho.)
32 john frost (d. 1640), like Day, went on to a well-recorded career as a singing-man, serving as a Gentleman of the Chapel Royal from 1611 until his death (Ashbee and Lasocki, 1998, 447).
32 john] F1 (Ioh.)
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