The Staple of News (1626)

Edited by Joseph Loewenstein

INTRODUCTION

The sonnet that serves as The Prologue for the Court alleges, in an idiom of genteel submissiveness, that ‘although our title, sir, be News, / We yet adventure here to tell you none’ (9–10). Thus, at its court performance, which probably occurred at Shrovetide (19–21 February) in 1626, Jonson claimed that The Staple of News was distinguished less by novelty than by timelessness. Whereas the claim of timelessness suffers, to be sure, when we note that the play has been revived only once since its first run, Jonson’s more explicit claim, that the object of its satire is a set of enduring ‘common follies’ and not the fashionable lapses specific to a particular historical and cultural moment, may be easier to defend. Yet even that claim may be challenged: throughout his career, Jonson brought something very like a journalist’s eye to the timbre and twitch of a season’s vanities. There is some irony to the fact that the first printing of Staple, the copy-text for the present edition, was deferred until 1631 and that this printing was withheld from publication, along with the other plays in the second folio, until 1641; whatever their claims to timelessness, Jonson’s plays are nearly always sutured to their moment. (For the publication history of Staple, Bartholomew Fair, and The Devil Is an Ass, see John Creaser’s essay on F2(2) in the Electronic Edition.)

Of course Jonson could be both serenely and hysterically conservative, fiercely suspicious of (others’) social mobility, and by turns gloomily and hilariously nostalgic for the ethos of a military aristocracy now felt to be so fully degraded that the disguised father of The Staple of News might with mocking gaiety describe his son, surrounded by spurrier and barber, linener, haberdasher, and shoemaker, as ‘an heir in the midst of his forces’ (1.3.8). Spruce for the court performance of this play, Jonson expresses his peculiar embrace of aristocratic values – a profound ideological affectation – in the insistences that there is nothing new to the play, that it is no more than a pageant of ‘common follies’ (The Prologue for the Court, 11), and that it aims simply to enact a deliberate resistance both to novelties and Novelty, and to defeat the New by confirming the rightness of traditional judgement. Yet conservative as he was, Jonson was also – and knew himself to be – a writer especially fascinated by the superficial flux of fashion and newfangledness, and by the deeper motion of social change. The author of this play is thus irresistibly drawn to telling us the news of news, of journalism.

As with many of Jonson’s comedies, a set of satiric vignettes on individual vanity spark out from a central romantic plot. In the very first scene, Pennyboy Junior, soon to undertake the courtship of the adorable Princess (or, as she is more frequently addressed, ‘the Infanta’) Pecunia, will celebrate the moment of his majority by mustering all the resources of fashionable dress. From this scene of sartorial self-indulgence, almost a Jonsonian signature, variations on vanity will follow: Lickfinger the cook will profess, at length, the supremacy of the culinary arts; the miser Pennyboy Senior (modelled on Euclio in Plautus’s Aulularia, a favourite of Jonson’s, already mined for The Case Is Altered) will go temporarily mad as he loses control of his assets (and will, like Lear, deliriously attempt to reassert control by convening a madman’s court of law); a club of Jeerers will compete in the art of self-important sneering; and Pennyboy Junior will extend himself, with charming and nearly empty-headed enthusiasm, to imagine founding a College of Canters for the protection and cultivation of all modern species of jargon. Of all these fantasias on vanity, the most elaborate is the one that gives the play its title: capitalizing on the early modern passion for outlandish information and implausible secrets, the entrepreneurial Cymbal has recruited specialist reporters with distinct news ‘beats’, arranged for the swift acquisition of overseas dispatches, and is now prepared to open the doors of an office for the collection and retail sale of information, a Staple – that is, a centralized market – of News.

Jonson appears to have written The Staple of News in time for first performance in the spring of 1626; references at 3.2.301 and 205–6 to the coronation (2 February 1626) and the death of William Rowley (buried 11 February), reinforced by allusions to Lent (Int. 2.49) and to the Dutch eel-boats which traded in London in that season (3.2.84), all point to that date. Some nine years had passed, then, since he had written his previous work for the theatre, The Devil Is an Ass, first staged in 1616. Those years had seen the stirrings of a revolution in English print culture (Dahl, 1953; Levy, 1999). Jonson saw the development not so much as a revolution than as a debilitating fashion in information, and to fashion he responded, as he always did, with bristling and impassioned disdain. The Staple of News sustains relentless comic allusions to the printed corantos that had, since 1618, brought news of the Thirty Years’ War out of the Low Countries into England, and to Nathaniel Butter, since 1620 one of the chief native publishers of printed newssheets (Frank, 1961; Lambert, 1992). (Coranto was the term used, both on the continent and in England, to describe the earliest news publications, characteristically printed in broadsheet format.) Yet the modern reader should not reduce Jonson’s elated satire on news to a satire on Early Modern print culture: after all, Jonson’s news-vendor, Cymbal, prides himself on the fact that his is a mart for handwritten news and explains to the young Pennyboy that ‘when news is printed, / It leaves, sir, to be news’ (1.5.50–1; Atherton, 1999; Baron, 2001; Mousley, 1991; Woudhuysen, 1996, 179–85).

Cymbal’s remark calls for a complex set of reflections on the media from which the culture of news emerges. He reminds us, first, that a various commerce in current information in manuscript predates and conditions the beginnings of printed news, and that those manuscript forms of news were by no means swiftly supplanted by printed ones (Love, 1993, 9–20). The circulation of manuscript news probably originated as early as the 1560s and was well established by the 1580s; professional ‘intelligencers’ like Cymbal’s Buzz and Ambler were working in London by the 1590s; and by 1620 the market in manuscript news was established and of sufficient notoriety to provoke Jonson’s caricature, in News from the New World, of a hack author of newsletters, ‘a factor of news for all the shires of England’, as the newsman describes himself, boasting that ‘I do write my thousand letters a week ordinary’ (31–2). Factor’s statistic is certainly inflated, but by the end of the decade handwritten ‘separates’ concerned with parliamentary news were being produced, swiftly, at a rate of about fifty to seventy-five copies per ‘issue’. The next few years saw the establishment of a system of periodical manuscript newsletters, published by subscription.

The circulation of national news, whether in manuscript or in print, had remarkable psychological effects. On 9 April 1625, the Reverend Joseph Meade wrote to Sir Martin Stuteville, ‘Our doctor’s letter failed us on Saturday;’ – Meade got a regular briefing on London news from Dr James Meddus – ‘and since we have no letters but such as tell us there is no news stirring. My last relation of His Majesty’s sickness and death, though I hear not for the general contradicted, yet by some, many of the particulars are for circumstances diminished. I am told for certain that after Friday at night till the hour of his death, his tongue was swollen so big in his mouth, that either he could not speak at all, or not be understood’ (Birch, 1848, 1:5). Meade was a clearing-house: he was in Cambridge, he collected news, and he circulated it to his friends (Levy, 1982, 21–2). News was a vector of extended social solidarities, but the dependent curiosity it produced – a curiosity that Jonson plainly deplored – was sometimes unpleasant. Mr Meade and his correspondents have a habit to sustain, and Dr Meddus has failed them.

Of course the swell of news had political effects that complemented its psychological ones (Cust, 1986; Frearson, 1993). According to a tradition of long standing, MPs and clerks were expected to keep the details of parliamentary debate secret, but with the rise of subscription news publication traditional secrecy began to fracture (Notestein, 1921, xxiii). The shape of parliamentary publicity changed with decent formality in some respects – under pressure from MPs the range of subjects recorded in the Clerk’s Book was enlarged – but the increased circulation of parliamentary news separates also unleashed irregularity and informality. By the mid-1620 MPs were leaking the details of parliamentary debate and even the texts of their speeches to scriveners; they thus marshalled the manuscript news trade to create timely pressures on the further unfolding of parliamentary debate – a newly tightened loop of political feedback. Indeed, from this moment forth Members of Parliament might suppose themselves to be speaking over the heads of their auditors, communicating with a reading public. And while the circulation of political information quickened, the focus of that information also changed, slowly transforming the nature of political constituencies. Addressed to a generalized market, news separates inevitably widened and extended the field of their readers’ attention; for their part, MPs, who had long felt an obligation to inform their constituencies, now began to inform them about ‘national’ as opposed to narrowly local aspects of parliamentary deliberation. The new forms of political communication contributed to the centralization of the English polity even as it rendered that polity ‘opinionated’.

If the commerce in news is not specifically a phenomenon of print, print did help to produce the conditions for a market in both manuscript and printed news. All the overlapping constituents of what we call print culture – the growth of a non-bespoke, speculative market in books; increases in literacy and book ownership; the ubiquitous availability of the products of job-printing; the reorientation of religious life around reading practices; and the general elaboration of individual and communal reading – all this stimulated the appetite for information, multiplied the ‘natural’ objects of gossip, and extended the range of human interests, which was cantilevered out from the local and the regional until, finally, interest reached beyond the national realm to the international. Yet these effects of print culture had manifested themselves long before Nathaniel Butter and his colleagues, Thomas Archer and Nicholas Bourne, began printing news; the early printed corantos traffic almost exclusively in news of foreign politics and, above all, of foreign wars.

When Cymbal insists that, once printed, news is no longer really news, he tells us that the perceived value of the information purveyed in corantos and newsletters had to do with something more than accuracy or momentous novelty. For Cymbal, news derives its political, economic, social, and psychological value from its relative scarcity, from a social exclusivity that produced informational haves and have-nots. But the irony of the remark derives from the fact that while Cymbal here speaks for a culture of private information, it was a culture that the market in news was quite obviously destroying.

Jonson was not alone in deploring the growth of the news market and the deprivatization of information. On 4 August 1621, John Chamberlain wrote to Sir Dudley Carleton (who had many news informants) about attempts to inhibit the publication of news and of the perceived resistance to those attempts:

there is come out a new proclamation against lavish and licentious talking in matters of state, either at home or abroad; which the common people know not how to understand, nor how far matters of state may stretch or extend, for they continue to take no notice of it, but print every week, at least, corantos, with all manner of news, and as strange stuff as any we have from Amsterdam. (Chamberlain, Letters, ed. McLure)

The proclamation was provoked by the proliferation of printed corantos (the publication of which it failed to inhibit); by the flap over the circulation, in manuscript and print, of the first instalment of Thomas Scott’s Vox Populi (1620), a fancifully satiric newsbook blunt in its criticism of James’s rapprochements with Spain; and above all by the ‘lavish talking’ that these publications incited. Chamberlain regards access to information as one of the prerogatives of rank. The early audience for manuscript news was a political elite, and the same may be said of those willing to pay the high cost of subscription newsletters. To Chamberlain’s dismay, print democratized news. This fact allows us to pinpoint an incoherence at the core of Jonson’s satire. If Cymbal has founded a Staple of manuscript News, his customers, who extend down the social hierarchy from Pennyboy Junior to an Anabaptist bent on bargaining down the price of the sectarian news she seeks, seem to have found their way into his office from the new world of cheaper printed news. The satirist’s eye sees double here.

Jonson began his career as a satirist in the 1590s with theatrical exposés of how fashion competition distorts the individual, but when he repeats and refreshes that exposé in The Staple of News he imagines the news as an heir to fashion, plotting an arc in the play’s first scenes as the object of satire shifts from modishness of person to modishness of data. There’s a special felicity in Jonson’s invention, for the person who brings the fashion-obsessed news of the new News Exchange, and so enables this transition from one object of satire to the next, is a barber – a member of a trade whose practitioners, then as now, served as semi-professional gossips. Tom Barber turns pro in the first act, forsaking his razor to take up a clerkship at the Staple of News.

One need seldom look far in Jonson’s work before one discovers the traces of autobiography. Jonson’s career tracks Tom’s, for the frame of the play also registers developments in Jonson’s dramatic practice, and in much larger theatrical histories as well. From as early as Every Man Out of His Humour, one of Jonson’s chief means of schooling his audience had been to colonize the critical and disruptive chatter of those gallant spectators who made themselves and their criticism conspicuous by purchasing the privilege of sitting on stage; Jonson’s trick was to displace the worst of them from their stools, replacing them with ‘spectators’ whose commentary he has fully scripted. In The Staple of News, the audience of women who interrupt the Prologue – the Gossips Mirth, Tattle, Expectation, and Censure – press both onto the stage and into a modern world of lavish talking and compulsory novelty to which a culture of news was giving rise: ‘Look your news be new and fresh, Master Prologue’, says Gossip Tattle (Ind. 21). In one sense the Gossips comically prove Jonson’s claim that there is no news in The Staple of News, for they remind us that the appetite for news, or something like it, is old and unprofessional: assessing the products of the new Staple after the third act, Tattle claims to ‘have had better news from the bake-house by ten thousand parts in a morning’, boasts of the reach of her own informal and noncommercial networks of information, and insists that ‘we gossips are bound to . . . credit all and make more of it in the reporting’ (3 Int. 15–16, 29–32). But in their last and disapproving word on Jonson’s play, the Gossips register the power of a historical tide that transforms gossip into news and oral culture into written: ‘Let a protest go out against him’, says Censure –

EXPECTATION

In all our names –

CENSURE

For a decayed wit –

EXPECTATION

Broken –

TATTLE

Non-solvent –

CENSURE

And forever forfeit –

MIRTH

To scorn of Mirth!

CENSURE

Censure!

EXPECTATION

Expectation!

TATTLE

Subsigned, Tattle.

(4 Int. 64–72)

As The Staple of News straddles archaic and emergent regimes of information, so the Gossips – the awkward chic of whose presence on stage unsettles the old-fashioned nature of their allegorical being– straddle archaic and emergent theatrical practices. Even as they respond to the pressure of the modern, they insist that we recognize the old dramatic substrate beneath the The Staple of News. After only the first act, Expectation has concluded, to her disappointment, that ‘Here’s nothing but a young prodigal come of age’ (1 Int. 3–4), and so draws to our attention the fact that the outline of The Staple of News is provided by those Prodigal Son plays that had been so popular among early humanist playwrights and that Jonson had already subjected to such radical reinvigoration in Every Man In His Humour and Bartholomew Fair. In the play’s next intermean, Mirth asks her fellows ‘How like you the Vice i’the play?’, and then observes that the function of the Vice of medieval drama has been shared out among several characters, whose essentially allegorical natures she effortlessly remarks: ‘old Covetousness’, appearing in the guise of ‘the sordid Pennyboy; . . . Prodigality like a young heir, and his mistress Money (whose favours he scatters like counters) pranked up like a prime lady, the Infanta of the Mines’ (2 Int. 5, 7, 15–17). These are vices, albeit quite unlike the ingenious Vice of the older drama, whose critical, frame-breaking jocularity has been most securely reincarnated in The Staple of News in Mirth herself and her companion gossips. Jonson’s inductions and para-representations most brightly display his pleasure in his own craft, and he especially enjoys himself here, allowing Tattle to protest that the poet has turned his back on the traditional representation of the Vice; ‘that was the old way, gossip’, Mirth responds (2 Int. 12), and her explanation thus identifies Jonson, so critical of the new, as an agent of modernization. These gossips have lost the old Vice’s presentational posture and are now compelled to sit down, watch, and offer fitful, scripted commentary. With a flexibility and discernment that distinguishes her from her companions, Mirth sees through the procedural surface and into the logic of Jonson’s play, to the afterlife of allegory within it.

The afterlife is morally unsettled and aesthetically strange, and Jonson’s gossips insist that we attend to the disturbance. Having unleashed a diatribe against the diffusion of luxury in 3.4.37–68, Pennyboy Senior will give his assault on over-indulgence the added force of emblematic tableau when, in his next appearance, he bursts in on the feast at Lickfinger’s tavern and ‘strikes the [cup of] sack out of his hand’. Jonson quite obviously alludes here to the manner and themes of so many Prodigal Son plays, in which rigid Probity scourges unscrupulous Pleasure, yet that tradition is made to seem at once persistently relevant and somehow outmoded. Pennyboy Senior has little moral authority, after all, since he stands, not for sage conservatism, but for increasingly frantic miserliness. It’s a characteristic Jonsonian trick (though one that Jonson might well have learned from Spenser): enlisting the flawed and obsessive to perform the work of principled rectification. Gossip Tattle, almost as discerning as Mirth and as lenient in her judgements, nicely gauges the compromised moral authority of Pennyboy Senior’s rage: ‘He has rich ingredients in him, I warrant you, if they were extracted’ (3 Int. 3). In Pennyboy Senior, mania, not virtue, confronts the brainless exuberance of Pennyboy Junior and the sodden Jeerers, all of whose prodigality seems cheerfully resilient, almost beyond the grip of censure. The energies of modern character cannot be subdued to a regimen of moral order.

When Mirth identifies the Infanta of the Mines, Pennyboy Senior, and Pennyboy Junior as allegorical characters, we might feel that Jonson is simply joking, insisting as he often does that, like Mirth, most spectators at the theatre are unable to see anything but the familiar things that they are disposed to see – insisting, in this case, that these allegorical spectators can see the play only as an allegory. On the other hand, this seeing, which dissolves character and superficial attire into essence, is exactly that spectatorial habit which would make colourable Jonson’s claim that the play is not news but timeless. But between the joking insinuation that allegorical characters ‘naturally’ read allegorically and the soberly high-minded faith that spectators seek to gaze upon moral essences (and that authors seek to reveal them) lies an uncanny something-else, an uneasy and marvellous encounter of the actual and the ideal. If that encounter was one of the great achievements of the older English moral drama, it was Jonson’s distinctive mission to sustain and reinvigorate it. He had refined this sense of mission by his many years as a deviser of masques.

Returning to playwriting with The Staple of News, Jonson elaborates the conceit of News from the New World, his masque of 1620. But the The Staple of News has a deeper debt to masque-making, for the play is invigorated by representational practices inspired by the odd resources of the masque form: the compound of identifiable noble person and the abstract allegorical role he or she embodies on the masque stage; the dance, during the revels, in which spectators are partnered by those marvellously defamiliarized compounds. Such modern encounters of the allegorical and the actual seem to unsettle Mirth, who nostalgically recalls that in ‘the old way’ of allegorical mimesis ‘Iniquity came in like Hocus-Pocus, in a juggler’s jerkin, with false skirts like the Knave of Clubs. But now,’ she worries, allegorical representation has lost its unfamiliarity; ‘But now they are attired like men and women o’the time, the Vices, male and female!’ (2 Int. 12–14). Mirth’s companion, Censure, finds this compounding of the abstract and the personal an impertinence and, clearly, both these Gossips would like to preserve the boundary between the allegorical and the personal. When Mirth remarks that ‘Money’, Pecunia, has been ‘pranked up like a prime lady, the Infanta of the Mines’, Censure objects that ‘therein they abuse an honourable princess, it is thought’ (15–18). At first it seems that Censure is protesting against a slur, by association with Money, on some stainless individual. Asked to specify the nature of the abuse, Censure veers confusingly, objecting, on behalf of Pecunia’s own stainlessness, to ‘the styling her “Infanta”, and giving her three names’ (20). Mirth sees nothing wrong with the title, Infanta, and reassures her companion and herself that the abstract names are untainted by personal reference: ‘what have Aurelia, Clara, Pecunia to do with any person?’ (21–2). Of course, Jonson was here defending himself against the charge that his Pecunia was to be identified with any particular historical person, but the defence allows him to draw attention to precisely that mark of dramaturgic novelty that disturbs the Gossips, the exciting and dangerous approach of the abstract to the real. (In the particular instance, the real persons being approached are the Infantas Isabella Clara Eugenia, daughter of Philip Ⅱ of Spain, and her niece, Maria Anna. To the horror of his most fervently anti-Catholic subjects, James had long sought a match between Prince Charles and the Infanta Maria Anna; the collapse of these marriage plans is tactfully celebrated in Jonson’s masque of 1623, Neptune’s Triumph, many passages of which are recycled in Staple.) Although Jonson’s great nineteenth-century editor, William Gifford, admired The Staple of News – ‘few of Jonson’s dramatic works . . . exhibit stronger marks of his peculiar talents than this play’ – he joins Censure in being troubled by its ‘occasional confusion of the allegorical and the real character’. The second intermean of the play should have reassured Gifford that Jonson was aware of this confusion, and should have suggested to him that Jonson regarded this confusion as a source of dramatic energy.

He also regarded it as a source of amusement. In the midst of Fitton’s attempts to persuade Pecunia’s ladies-in-waiting to take up residence at the Staple, Band turns to her fellows to remark with dismissive irony on their petitioner: ‘Pity the gentleman is not immortal’ (3.2.249), as if that would make him more attractive and assimilable to the ladies’ society. Unlike Jonson’s masquers, who partake both of mortal and specific social being and of immortal and abstract ideality, Fitton is expected to feel the sting of exclusion from that essential realm of allegory in which Pecunia and her entourage enjoy themselves.

But to what end did Jonson so energetically grapple with allegory? The central action of the play, the competitive courtship of Pecunia, is a distinctively modern allegory, up-to-the-Caroline-minute in both its themes and compounded procedures. To be sure, Jonson’s modern plot tracks the form of a Roman New Comedy, in which the ingenuities of youthful desire must circumvent (and also, often, adapt themselves to) the blunt sovereignties of patriarchal intransigence: in The Staple of News, the young heir who seeks the precious lady must struggle with her guardian, his uncle, who keeps her under lock and key. To this traditional plot, Jonson brings the analytic resources of allegory, enabling us to interrogate what Pecunia is that she should be the object of such longing, what it means to covet Pecunia. We learn Pecunia’s lineage, we see the accessory beings who make up her household, and we see how differently she is courted and are told a bit about the social uses to which she may be put. Young Pennyboy is dazzled by her beauty, and is almost as infatuated by the complicated charms of her entourage, Statute, Band, Mortgage, and shining, pliant Wax. The other suitors to Pecunia are somewhat less susceptible to the shimmer of Pecunia and her ladies: they see more clearly that this wealthy heiress is Wealth herself and are moved, therefore, by her essential Value. Still, Pennyboy Junior will best such cannier rivals as Cymbal and Picklock, but his success seems to entail assimilating their deeper appreciation of Pecunia’s essence, even as he continues to delight in her more superficial sheen.

Jonson’s conservatism is plain enough here: the play repudiates the arriviste ingenuities of the news-projector and the machinations of the lawyer in favour of the Pennyboys’ old money. Yet the twenty-first-century reader may find it odd that ‘moral Jonson’ seems to indulge Pennyboy in the superficialities of his ardour for Pecunia. As an essay on the ethics of economic behaviour, the play is unwilling to punish the Pennyboys’ acquisitiveness: although the miserly guardian reforms, he is not made to turn away from Wealth, nor is he obliged to profess that true value cannot be found in money. Rather, in the last moments of the play, the uncle, Pennyboy Senior, claims to be cleansing his vices by kissing the Lady Pecunia, and he recovers his proper place in the social system by allying Pecunia with his nephew, the reformed prodigal, to whom he gives all his property, keeping his house, goods, and lands tidily within the family. Jonson thus makes common cause with the Austen of Pride and Prejudice, the Yeats of ‘A Prayer for My Daughter’, and the Shakespeare of The Merchant of Venice, all of whom accede, without reproach, to the love of gold and to its handsome sheen, if not its glitter.

Jonson’s distinctive task in the main plot of The Staple of News is to mete out the proper dimension and configuration of that love, and the last lines of the play are fastidiously specific in this regard. Pecunia presides over this conclusion, but the work of her magistracy is to constitute herself as neither tyrant nor slave, but as a personification of some middling sort, a ‘golden mean’, as she puts it (5.6.64). She chides the miserly to generosity, the prodigal to caution – although the play has strongly implied (as does The Merchant of Venice), that, when in doubt, one should err on the side of generosity. Pecunia aspires, she tells us, to be an ‘aid unto their uses’ (61), a usefully working capital, capable of remaking the mutually distrustful family of Pennyboys into a community of mature lenders and investors.

There is some archness in these lines, an archness especially located in the double nature of Pecunia’s address: the ‘they’ of ‘their uses’ is at once the family of Pennyboys and the community of the play’s spectators. Such double address may be an unremarkable gesture of dramatic conclusion, yet there is something quite eerie in this reminder that for all of ‘them’ Pecunia is at once a bride – to be desired, kept safe, and intimately cherished – and a property – to be circulated, invested, ‘used’, and ‘ventured’, in the loaded vocabulary of The Merchant of Venice. Readers may divide on the question of the degree of Jonson’s awareness of the eerie paradox of this Pecuniary ethics, but we can hardly deny its centrality.

In The Staple of News, then, Jonson nervously inspects modernizations of both media and morals. His entrepreneur, Cymbal, may traffic conservatively in private, even tailored information, but he has an apprehensive nose for the incipient vulgarizations of printed news, the emergence of mass culture out of what were once quite private circuits of information. Pecunia may also conservatively favour the Pennyboys’ landed family, but when she urges a general ethical principle, the economic ethics of moderated generosity, we may notice that she is consigning an economic ethics graduated and specified to social position to the cultural and historical past. Now there is an economic morality that will suit all of us. Something of this sense of social generality invades even Jonson’s handling of dialogue. Consider the conversation between Cymbal and Fitton, as Cymbal describes his rearguard attack on print:

CYMBAL

Nor shall the stationer cheat upon the time,

By buttering over again –

FITTON

(Once, in seven years,

As the age dotes –

CYMBAL

And grows forgetful o’them)

His antiquated pamphlets, with new dates.

But all shall come from the mint –

(1.5.58–62)

Such sharing-out of sentences is everywhere in The Staple of News: we have seen it before when the Gossips gaily collaborate in censuring Jonson. As a poet, Jonson is at the top of his experimental game here, harvesting the vocabulary and rhythms of non-dramatic satire and, at the same time, recalling that orchestration of fashionable and slanging conversation that he virtually invented at the outset of his career as a playwright. Instead of the early crowd scenes, in which different clusters of speakers compete, we here have a sequence of choruses – the workers at the Staple, Pecunia’s entourage, the noisy spectatorial Gossips – clutches of the like-minded unleashing volleys of instruction or aimless abuse or pure, exuberant elaboration. Implying an intimacy of understanding and purpose neither predatory nor even conspicuously self-conscious, the conversational world of The Staple of News may recall the depictions of collusion in plays like The Alchemist and Volpone, but it is far more convivial. It is worth asking what the historical anchor of such choral dramatic practice might be.

Jonson here invents the verbal form of the corporation. An elaboration and advance on the way in which Jonson’s earlier criminal heroes interact with their tricky servants, the remarkable symbiosis of projector and courtier that characterizes the conversation of Cymbal and Fitton implies the emergent historical power of the Pecuniary. Pecunia is, of course, an old figure – Jonson draws inspiration for her portrayal from Aristophanes (Plutus), Lucian (Timon), and Horace (Epistles, 1.6) among others – but her presence in The Staple of News has the startling novelty of harmonizing grace. By acceding to her Value(s), the competitors for her hand understand each other. She produces, at the levels of both ethical standard and conversational form, the subtle cohesiveness of a culture given over to the pursuit of profit, in which individuals in very different social situations find themselves quite capable of speaking for and on behalf of each other. Pecunia emerges in the play as a civilizing force, a principle of political, ethical, and even verbal concord. The Staple of News thus bespeaks a sensibility perhaps surprising, if not alien, to the modern reader. We are so accustomed to the repudiation of greed that we cannot but be startled by the final tableau, by the apparently serene harmony of this culture, in which Wealth has graciously smoothed away all familial and social tensions. It is a moment worthy of, say, Brecht (though Brecht would have meant the moment quite differently), but it did not recommend itself to the actor-managers and directors of subsequent centuries. The play has been performed only once since 1626, when, in 1973, D. F. McKenzie directed a rehearsed reading with a small amount of staged action at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand. (McKenzie published his indispensable essay on the play in the same year.) The challenge of producing such a play lies not so much in its tether to topicalities of the mid-1620s as in its embrace of the Pecuniary, which may be too uneasy, at once too reactionary and too Brechtian, for most theatrical audiences.

 

 The Persons of the Play

 PENNYBOY [JUNIOR]

the son: the heir and suitor

PENNYBOY [CANTER]

the father: the  canter

PENNYBOY [SENIOR]

the uncle: the usurer

 CYMBAL

Master of the  Staple and prime  jeerer

 FITTON

 Emissary Court and jeerer 5

ALMANAC

Doctor in  physic and jeerer

 SHUNFIELD

Sea-captain and jeerer

 MADRIGAL

 Poetaster and jeerer

 PICKLOCK

Man o’Law and Emissary  Westminster

PIEDMANTLE

 Pursuivant-at-arms and heraldet 10

 REGISTER

of the Staple, or Office

NATHANIEL

First Clerk of the Office

THOMAS BARBER

Second Clerk of the  Office

 PECUNIA

  Infanta of the Mines

MORTGAGE

her nurse 15

STATUTE

her first woman

 BAND

her second woman

 WAX

her chambermaid

BROKER

 secretary and  gentleman-usher to  Her Grace

LICKFINGER

a master-cook and  parcel-poet 20

 FASHIONER

the tailor of the times

 LINENER
 
HABERDASHER
 
 [LEATHERLEG,

a] shoemaker

 SPURRIER
    25
CUSTOMERS, male and female

[including  DOPPER, a she-Anabaptist]

PORTER
 DOGS, two [LOLLARD and BLOCK]
 
[ Musicians
 
NICHOLAS a boy singer
      30
PROLOGUE
 
 GOSSIP MIRTH
 
GOSSIP TATTLE
 
GOSSIP EXPECTATION
 
GOSSIP CENSURE, or Curiosity
  35
 BOOKHOLDER
 
A COUNTRY WOMAN
 
TIREMEN]
 

The Scene: LONDON

THE STAPLE OF NEWS
The Induction

The PROLOGUE enters. After him, GOSSIP MIRTH, GOSSIP TATTLE, GOSSIP EXPECTATION, and GOSSIP CENSURE, four gentlewomen, ladylike attired.

   PROLOGUE

[To the audience] For your own sake, not ours –

MIRTH

[To Gossip Tattle] Come, gossip, be not ashamed. The play is The Staple of

News, and you are the mistress and lady of Tattle; let’s ha’ your opinion of it.

[To the Prologue] Do you hear, gentleman? What are you?  Gentleman-usher to

the play? Pray you, help us to some stools here. 5

PROLOGUE

Where?  O’the stage, ladies?

MIRTH

Yes, o’the stage: we are persons of quality, I assure you, and women

of fashion, and come to see and to be seen – my Gossip Tattle here, and

Gossip Expectation, and my Gossip Censure, and I am Mirth, the daughter

of Christmas and spirit of  Shrovetide. They say,  ‘It’s merry when gossips 10

meet.’ I hope your play will be a merry one!

PROLOGUE

Or you will make it such, ladies. [To a stagehand] Bring a  form here.

[To the ladies, who sit] But what will the noblemen think, or the grave wits here,

to see you seated on the  bench thus?

MIRTH

Why, what should they think? But that they had mothers, as we had, and 15

those mothers had  gossips (if their children were christened), as we are, and

such as had a  longing to see plays and  sit upon them, as we do, and arraign

both them and their poets.

PROLOGUE

Oh, is that your purpose? Why, Mistress Mirth and Madam Tattle,

enjoy your delights freely. 20

TATTLE

Look your news be new and fresh, Master Prologue, and untainted; I

shall find them else, if they be stale or fly-blown, quickly!

PROLOGUE

We ask no favour from you, only we would entreat of Madam

Expectation –

EXPECTATION

What, Master Prologue? 25

PROLOGUE

That Your Ladyship would expect no more than you understand.

EXPECTATION

Sir, I can expect enough!

PROLOGUE

I fear too much, lady; and teach others to do the  like?

EXPECTATION

I can do that, too, if I have cause.

PROLOGUE

 Cry you mercy;  you never did wrong, but with just cause. What’s this 30

lady?

MIRTH

 Curiosity, my Lady Censure.

PROLOGUE

Oh, Curiosity! You come to see who wears the new suit today? Whose

clothes are best  penned, whatever the part be? Which actor has the best leg

and foot? What king plays without cuffs and his queen without gloves? Who 35

 rides post in stockings and dances in boots?

CENSURE

Yes, and which amorous prince makes love in drink, or does overact

prodigiously in  beaten satin and, having got the trick on’t, will be monstrous

still, in despite of counsel!

 [Enter BOOKHOLDER.]

BOOKHOLDER

Mend your  lights, gentlemen. Master Prologue, begin. 40


 The TIREMEN enter to mend the lights.

TATTLE

Ay me!

EXPECTATION

Who’s that?

PROLOGUE

Nay, start not, ladies. These carry  no fireworks to fright you, but a

torch i’their hands, to give light to the business. The truth is, there are a

set of gamesters within  in  travail of a thing called a play, and would fain 45

be delivered of it,  and they have entreated me to be their man-midwife, the

Prologue, for they are  like to have a hard labour on’t.

TATTLE

Then the  poet has abused himself, like an ass, as he is.

MIRTH

No, his actors will  abuse him enough, or I am deceived. Yonder he is

within (I was i’the  tiring-house awhile to see the actors dressed), rolling 50

himself up and down like a  tun i’the midst of ’em, and  spurges. Never did

vessel of  wort or wine  work so! His sweating put me in mind of  a good

shroving dish (and I believe would be taken up  for a service of state somewhere,

an’t were known) – a stewed poet! He doth sit like an  unbraced drum

with one of his heads beaten out. For that you must note: a poet hath two 55

heads, as a drum has, one for  making, the other  repeating,

and his repeating head is all to pieces – they may gather it up i’the tiring-house – for he hath

torn  the book in a  poetical fury and put himself to silence in dead  sack, which,

were there no other vexation, were sufficient to make him the most miserable

 emblem of Patience. 60

CENSURE

The  Prologue. Peace!

The Prologue for the Stage


PROLOGUE

For your own sakes, not his, he bade me say,

 Would you were come to hear, not see, a play.

Though we his actors must provide for those

Who are our guests, here, in the way of shows,

The  maker hath not so; he’d have you wise 5

Much rather by your ears than by your eyes,

And prays you’ll not prejudge his play for ill,

Because you mark it not and sit not still,

But have a longing to  salute or talk

With  such a female, and from her to  walk 10

With your discourse to what is done, and where,

How, and by whom, in all the town – but here.

Alas! What is it to his  scene to know

 How many coaches in  Hyde Park did  show

Last spring, what fare today at  Medley’s was, 15

If  Dunstan or  the Phoenix best wine has?

They are things – but yet, the stage might stand as well

If it did neither hear these things, nor tell.

Great noble wits, be good unto yourselves,

And make a difference ’twixt  poetic elves 20

And poets; all that dabble in the ink,

And defile quills, are not those few  can think,

Conceive, express, and steer the souls of men,

As with a rudder, round thus with their pen.

 He must be one that can instruct your youth, 25

And keep your  acme in the state of truth,

Must  enterprise this work; mark but his ways,

What flight he makes, how new. And then he says,

 If that not like you that he sends tonight,

’Tis you have  left to judge, not he to write. 30 [Exit.]

The Prologue for the Court

A  work  not smelling of the lamp, tonight,

But fitted for Your Majesty’s disport,

And  writ to the meridian of your court,

We bring; and hope it may produce delight –

The rather, being offered as a  rite 5

To scholars, that can judge and fair report

The sense they hear above the vulgar sort

Of  nut-crackers, that only come for sight.

Wherein, although our title, sir, be News,

We yet adventure here to tell you none, 10

 But show you common follies, and so known

That though they are not truths, th’innocent Muse

Hath made so like as Fancy could them state,

Or Poetry, without scandal, imitate.  [Exit.]

1.1    [Enter] PENNYBOY JUNIOR [and] LEATHERLEG [the SHOEMAKER].

  His shoemaker has pulled on a new pair of boots, and he walks in his gown, waistcoat, and  trouses, expecting his tailor.

PENNYBOY JR

 Gramercy, Leatherleg. Get me the  spurrier,

And thou hast fitted me.

SHOEMAKER

I’ll do’t  presently. [Exit.]

PENNYBOY JR

 Look to me, wit, and look to my wit,  land,

That is, look on me, and with all thine eyes,

Male, female, yea, hermaphroditic eyes, 5

And  those bring all your helps and  perspicils

To see me at best advantage and augment

My form as I come forth, for I do feel

I will be one worth  looking after, shortly.

 Now, by and by, that’s shortly.  ’T  strikes!

 He draws forth his watch and sets it on the table.

 One, two, 10

Three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch,

Thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep, and rest;

Would thou couldst make the time to do so, too,

I’ll wind thee up no more. The hour is come

So long expected!

He throws off his gown.

There, there,  drop my  wardship, 15

My  pupil age and  vassalage together,

And  Liberty,  come, throw thyself about me,

In a rich suit, cloak, hat, and  band, for now

I’ll  sue out no man’s livery but  mine own.

I stand on my own feet,  so much a year, 20

Right, round, and sound, the lord of mine own ground,

And (to rhyme to it) threescore thousand pound!

 He goes to the door, and looks.

 Not come? Not yet?  Tailor, thou art a vermin,

Worse than the same thou prosecut’st and  prick’st

In  subtle seam –  go to, I say no more – 25

Thus to retard my  longings, on the day

I do  write man, to beat thee. One-and-twenty,

Since the clock  struck, complete! And thou wilt feel  it,

Thou foolish animal! I could pity him

 (An I were not heartily angry with him now) 30

For this one piece of folly he bears about him,

To dare to tempt the fury of an heir

T’above two thousand a year, yet  hope his custom!

Well, Master  Fashioner, there’s some must  break

A head, for this your  breaking. [Addressing Fashioner as he enters] Are you

come, sir? 35

1.2   [Enter] FASHIONER [with a suit].

FASHIONER

God give Your Worship joy.

PENNYBOY JR

What? Of your  staying?

And leaving me to stalk here in my trouses,

Like a tame   hernshaw, for you?

FASHIONER

I but waited

Below, till the clock struck.

PENNYBOY JR

Why, if you had come

 Before a quarter, would it so have hurt you 5

In reputation to have waited here?

FASHIONER

No, but Your Worship might have pleaded  nonage,

If you had got ’em on,  ere I could make

Just affidavit of the time.

PENNYBOY JR

That jest

Has gained thy pardon. Thou hadst lived condemned 10

To thine own  hell else, never to have wrought

Stitch more for me or any Pennyboy.

I could have hindered thee, but now thou art mine.

For one-and-twenty years, or  for three lives,

Choose which thou wilt, I’ll make thee a  copyholder, 15

 And thy first bill  unquestioned. Help me on.

 He says his suit.

FASHIONER

Presently, sir. I am bound unto Your Worship.

PENNYBOY JR

Thou shalt be, when I have  sealed thee a lease of my custom.

FASHIONER

Your Worship’s barber is  without.

PENNYBOY JR

 Who? Tom?

[Calling] Come in, Tom.

 [Enter] THOMAS BARBER.

Set thy things upon the board 20

And spread thy cloths, lay all forth  in procinctu,

And tell’s what news?

THOMAS

Oh, sir, a  staple of news!

Or the New Staple, which you please.

PENNYBOY JR

 What’s that?

FASHIONER

An office, sir, a  brave young office set up.

I had forgot to tell Your Worship.

PENNYBOY JR

For what? 25

THOMAS

To enter all the news, sir, o’the time –

FASHIONER

And  vent it as occasion serves! A place

Of huge commerce it will be!

PENNYBOY JR

Pray thee, peace;

 I cannot abide a talking tailor. Let Tom

(He’s a barber) by his place relate it. – 30

What is’t, an office, Tom?

THOMAS

Newly erected

 Here in the house, almost on the same floor,

Where all the news of all sorts shall be brought,

And there be examined, and then registered,

And so be issued under the seal of the office, 35

As staple news; no other news be  current.

PENNYBOY JR

 ’Fore me, thou speak’st of a brave business, Tom.

FASHIONER

Nay, if you knew the brain that hatched it, sir –

PENNYBOY JR

I know thee well enough. – Give him a loaf, Tom;

Quiet his mouth; that oven will be  venting else. 40

Proceed –

THOMAS

He tells you true, sir. Master Cymbal

Is Master of the Office; he  projected it.

He  lies here i’the house, and the great rooms

He has taken for the office and set up

His desks and classes, tables and his shelves – 45

FASHIONER

He’s my customer and a wit, sir, too.

But h’has brave wits under him –

THOMAS

Yes, four  emissaries –

PENNYBOY JR

Emissaries? Stay, there’s a fine new word, Tom!

Pray God it signify anything. What are ‘emissaries’?

THOMAS

Men employed outward that are sent abroad 50

To fetch in the commodity.

FASHIONER

From all regions

Where the best news are made –

THOMAS

Or vented forth –

FASHIONER

By way of exchange, or trade –

PENNYBOY JR

Nay, thou wilt speak –

FASHIONER

My share, sir. There’s enough for both.

PENNYBOY JR

  (He gives the tailor leave to talk.) Go on, then;

Speak all thou canst. Methinks the  ordinaries 55

Should help them much.

FASHIONER

Sir, they have ordinaries

And extraordinaries, as many changes

And variations as there are points i’the compass.

THOMAS

But the four cardinal quarters –

PENNYBOY JR

Ay, those, Tom –

THOMAS

The court, sir,  Paul’s,  Exchange, and  Westminster Hall. 60

PENNYBOY JR

Who is the chief? Which hath precedency?

THOMAS

The governor o’the Staple, Master Cymbal.

He is the chief; and after him the emissaries:

 First Emissary Court, one Master Fitton,

He’s a  jeerer too.

PENNYBOY JR

What’s that?

FASHIONER

A wit. 65

THOMAS

Or half a wit; some of them are half-wits,

Two to a wit; there are a set of ’em.

Then Master  Ambler, Emissary Paul’s,

A  fine-paced gentleman as you shall see walk

 The middle aisle. And then my  froy Hans Buzz, 70

A Dutchman; he’s Emissary  Exchange.

FASHIONER

I had thought Master  Burst, the merchant, had had it.

THOMAS

No,

He has a rupture; he has sprung a leak.

Emissary Westminster’s undisposed of yet;

Then the Examiner, Register, and two  clerks – 75

They manage all at home, and sort, and file,

And seal the news, and issue them.

PENNYBOY JR

Tom, dear Tom,

What may my means do for thee? Ask, and have it;

I’d fain be doing some  good – it is my birthday –

And I’d do it  betimes. I feel  a grudging 80

Of bounty, and I would not long lie fallow.

I pray thee think, and speak, or wish for something.

THOMAS

I would I had but one o’the clerks’ places

I’this news  office.

PENNYBOY JR

Thou shalt have it, Tom,

If silver or gold will fetch it. What’s the rate? 85

 At what is’t set i’the market?

THOMAS

Fifty pound, sir.

PENNYBOY JR

An’t were a hundred, Tom, thou shalt not  want it.

 The tailor leaps and embraceth him.

FASHIONER

Oh, noble master!

PENNYBOY JR

How now,  Aesop’s ass!

Because I play with Tom, must I needs run

Into your rude embraces? Stand you still, sir; 90

 Clown’s fawnings are a horse’s salutations.

How dost thou like my suit, Tom?

THOMAS

Master Fashioner

Has hit your measures, sir;  he’s moulded you

And  made you, as they say.

FASHIONER

No, no, not I.

I am an ass, old Aesop’s ass.

PENNYBOY JR

Nay, fashioner, 95

I can do thee a good turn, too; be not  musty,

Though thou hast moulded me, as little Tom says;

I think thou hast put me in mouldy pockets.

 He draws out his pockets.

FASHIONER

As good,

Right Spanish perfume, the Lady  Estifania’s;

They cost twelve pound  a pair.

PENNYBOY JR

 Thy bill will say so. 100

I pray thee tell me, Fashioner,  what authors

Thou read’st to help thy invention? Italian prints?

Or  arras hangings? They are  tailors’ libraries.

FASHIONER

I scorn such helps.

PENNYBOY JR

Oh, though thou art a silk-worm,

And deal’st in satins and  velvets and rich plushes, 105

Thou canst not spin all forms out of thy self;

They are quite other things. I think this suit

Has made me  wittier than I was.

FASHIONER

Believe it, sir,

That clothes  do much upon the wit, as weather

Does on the brain; and thence comes your proverb, 110

‘The tailor makes the man.’ I speak by experience

 Of my own customers. I have had gallants,

Both court and country,  would ha’ fooled you up,

In a new suit, with the best wits in being,

And kept their  speed as long as their clothes lasted 115

Handsome and neat; but then as they grew out

At the elbows again, or had a stain, or spot,

They have sunk most wretchedly.

PENNYBOY JR

What thou report’st

Is but the common calamity, and seen daily;

And therefore  you’ve another, answering proverb: 120

‘A  broken sleeve keeps the arm back.’

FASHIONER

’Tis true, sir.

And thence we say that such a one plays at  peep-arm.

PENNYBOY JR

Do you so? It is wittily said. I wonder gentlemen

And men of means will not maintain themselves

Fresher in wit, I mean in clothes, to the highest. 125

For he that’s out o’ clothes is out o’ fashion,

And out of fashion is  out of countenance,

And out o’ countenance is out o’ wit.

Is not rogue Haberdasher come?

 [Enter HABERDASHER, LINENER, HATTER, and SHOEMAKER with apparel and bills.]

HABERDASHER

Yes, here, sir.

I ha’ been  without this half hour.

PENNYBOY JR

Give me my hat. 130

 They are all about him, busy.

Put on my girdle. Rascal, sits my ruff well?

LINENER

 In print.

PENNYBOY JR

Slave.

LINENER

 [Showing him a mirror]  See your self.

PENNYBOY JR

[Scrutinizing himself] Is this same hat

 O’the block passant? Do not answer me;

I cannot stay for an answer. I do feel

The powers of one-and-twenty like a tide 135

Flow in upon me, and perceive an heir

 Can conjure up all spirits in all circles.

 Rogue, rascal, slave – give tradesmen their true names,

And they appear to ’em  presently.

LINENER

For profit.

PENNYBOY JR

Come, cast my cloak about me. I’ll go see 140

This office, Tom, and be  trimmed afterwards.

I’ll put thee in possession, my prime work!

 His SPURRIER comes in [with spurs].

 God’s so, my spurrier! Put ’em on boy, quickly;

  I’d like to ha’ lost my spurs with too much speed.

[The Spurrier helps Pennyboy Jr with his spurs.]

1.3  [Enter]  PENNYBOY  CANTER to them, singing,  [in a patched cloak, with a bag of money].

CANTER

‘Good morning to my joy, my jolly Penny-boy!

The lord and the prince of plenty!

I come to see what riches thou bearest in thy breeches,

The first of thy one-and-twenty.

What, do thy pockets jingle? Or shall we need to mingle 5

 Our strength both of foot and horses?

These fellows look so eager as if they would beleaguer

An heir in the midst of his forces!

I hope they be no  sergeants that hang upon thy  margents!

(This rogue has the  jowl of a jailor!)’ 10

The young Pennyboy answers in tune.

PENNYBOY JR

 ‘Oh,  founder, no such matter, my spurrier, and my hatter,

My linen-man, and my tailor –’

Thou shouldst have been brought in, too, shoemaker,

If the time had been longer, and Tom Barber –

How dost thou like my company, old canter? 15

Do I not muster a brave troupe? All  billmen –

Present your arms, before my founder here;

This is my founder, this same learnèd canter!

He  brought me the first news of my father’s death;

I thank him, and ever since I call him founder. 20

Worship him, boys. I’ll read only the sums,

And  pass ’em straight.

  He takes the bills.

SHOEMAKER

Now ale!

ALL THE REST

And strong ale bless him!

PENNYBOY JR

God’s so, some  ale and sugar for my founder!

Good bills, sufficient bills; these bills may pass.

[He] puts them up in his pockets.

CANTER

I do not like those paper  squibs, good  master. 25

They may undo your store (I mean, of credit)

And fire your arsenal,  if case you do not

In time make good those  outer works, your pockets,

And take a garrison in of some two hundred

To beat these  pioneers off that carry a mine 30

Would blow you up at last. Secure your   casemates.

 Here Master Picklock, sir, your man o’law

And learn’d attorney, has sent you a bag of munition.

PENNYBOY JR

What is’t? [He takes the bag.]

CANTER

Three hundred  pieces.

PENNYBOY JR

I’ll dispatch ’em.

CANTER

Do. I would have your  strengths lined and perfumed 35

With gold as well as  amber.

PENNYBOY JR

Godamercy,

Come;  ad solvendum, boys!  There, there, and there, etc.

He pays all.

 I look on nothing but totalis.

CANTER

[Aside] See!

 The difference ’twixt the covetous and the prodigal:

The covetous man  never has money, and 40

The prodigal will have none shortly!

PENNYBOY JR

Ha,

What says my founder? – I thank you, I thank you, sirs.

ALL

God bless Your Worship, and Your Worship’s   chanter.

[Exeunt Shoemaker, Linener, Haberdasher, and Hatter.]

CANTER

I say ’tis nobly done, to cherish shopkeepers,

And pay their bills without examining, thus. 45

PENNYBOY JR

Alas! They have had a pitiful hard time on’t,

A  long vacation from their  cozening.

Poor rascals, I do do it out of charity.

I would advance their trade again, and have them

Haste to be rich, swear and forswear wealthily. – 50

What do you stay for,  sirrah?

SPURRIER

To my  box, sir.

PENNYBOY JR

Your box? Why, there’s an angel.

 He gives [money to] the Spurrier, to his box.

If my spurs

Be not  right Ripon –

SPURRIER

Give me never a penny

If I strike not through your bounty with the rowels. [Exit.]

PENNYBOY JR

Dost thou want any money, Founder?

CANTER

Who, sir, I? 55

Did I not tell you I was bred i’the mines,

Under  Sir Bevis Bullion?

PENNYBOY JR

That is true;

I quite forgot, you mine-men want no money,

Your streets are paved with’t. There the molten silver

Runs out like cream on cakes of gold.

CANTER

And rubies 60

Do grow like strawberries.

PENNYBOY JR

’Twere brave being there! –

Come, Tom, we’ll go to the office now.

CANTER

What office?

PENNYBOY JR

News office, the New Staple; thou shalt go, too.

’Tis here i’the house, on the same floor, Tom says.

Come, Founder, let us  trade in ale and  nutmegs. 65[Exeunt.]

1.4    [Enter the] REGISTER, [and NATHANIEL, the] clerk. A COUNTRY WOMAN [enters at another door and] waits there.

REGISTER

What, are those desks fit now? Set forth the table,

The  carpet, and the chair. Where are the news

That were examined last? Ha’ you filed them up?

NATHANIEL

 Not yet;  I had no time.

REGISTER

Are those news registered,

That Emissary Buzz sent in last night? 5

Of  Spinola and his eggs?

NATHANIEL

Yes, sir, and filed.

REGISTER

What are you now upon?

NATHANIEL

 That our new Emissary

Westminster gave us, of the  Golden Heir.

REGISTER

Dispatch! That’s news indeed, and of importance.

 [The Country Woman approaches.]

What would you have, good woman?

WOMAN

I would have, sir, 10

 A groatsworth of any news, I care not what,

To carry  down this Saturday to our vicar.

REGISTER

Oh, you are a  butterwoman. Ask Nathaniel

The clerk, there.

NATHANIEL

Sir, I tell her, she must stay

Till Emissary Exchange or Paul’s send in, 15

And then I’ll  fit her.

REGISTER

Do, good woman, have patience.

 It is not now as when the captain lived. [Exit Country Woman.]

NATHANIEL

You’ll blast the reputation of the office

Now, i’the bud, if you dispatch these groats

So soon. Let them  attend, in name of  policy. 20

1.5   [Enter] CYMBAL [and] FITTON, [showing in] PENNYBOY [JUNIOR]. THOMAS BARBER [and PENNYBOY] CANTER [enter behind them and stand apart].

PENNYBOY JR

In troth, they are  dainty rooms. What place is this?

CYMBAL

This is the outer room, where my clerks sit

And keep their sides, the Register i’the midst;

The  Examiner, he sits private there, within,

And here I have my  several rolls and files 5

Of news by the alphabet, and all put up

Under their heads.

PENNYBOY JR

But those, too, subdivided?

CYMBAL

Into authentical and apocryphal.

FITTON

Or news of doubtful credit, as barbers’ news.

CYMBAL

And tailors’ news, porters’, and watermen’s news.10

FITTON

Whereto, beside the  coranti, and gazetti

CYMBAL

I have the news of the season.

FITTON

As vacation-news,

Term-news, and Christmas-news.

CYMBAL

And news o’the  faction.

FITTON

As  the  Reformed news, Protestant news –

CYMBAL

And Pontificial news,  of all which several, 15

The  day-books, characters, precedents are kept,

Together with the names of special friends –

FITTON

And men of correspondence i’the country –

CYMBAL

Yes, of all ranks and all religions –

FITTON

 Factors and agents –

CYMBAL

 Liegers that lie out 20

Through all the shires o’the kingdom.

PENNYBOY JR

This is fine

And  bears a brave relation! But what says

 Mercurius Britannicus to this?

CYMBAL

Oh, sir,  he gains by’t half in half.

FITTON

Nay, more;

 I’ll stand to’t.  For where he was wont to get 25

In hungry captains, obscure statesmen  

CYMBAL

Fellows

To drink with him in a dark room in a tavern,

And eat a sausage –

FITTON

We ha’ seen’t –

CYMBAL

As fain

To keep so many  politic pens

Going, to feed the press –

FITTON

And dish out news, 30

Were’t true, or false –

CYMBAL

Now all that charge is saved

The public chronicler –

FITTON

  How do you call him there? –

CYMBAL

And gentle reader –

FITTON

 He that has the maidenhead

Of all the books.

CYMBAL

Yes, dedicated to him  

FITTON

Or rather prostituted –

PENNYBOY JR

You are right, sir. 35

CYMBAL

No more shall be abused, nor country parsons

O’the  Inquisition, nor busy justices

Trouble the peace, and both torment themselves

And their poor ign’rant neighbours with inquiries

After the many and most innocent monsters 40

That never came i’th’counties they were charged with.

PENNYBOY JR

 Why, methinks, sir, if the honest common people

 Will be abused, why should not they ha’ their pleasure

 In the believing lies are made for them,

 As you i’th’office making them yourselves? 45

FITTON

Oh, sir, it is the printing we oppose!

CYMBAL

We not forbid that any news be made,

But that ’t be printed; for when news is printed,

It  leaves, sir, to be news. While ’tis but written –

FITTON

Though it be ne’er so false, it runs news still. 50

PENNYBOY JR

See  diverse men’s opinions! Unto some

The very printing of them makes them news

That ha’ not the heart to believe anything

But what they see in print.

FITTON

Ay, that’s an error

Has abused many; but we shall reform it, 55

As many things beside (we have a hope)

Are crept among the popular abuses.

CYMBAL

Nor shall the  stationer cheat upon the time,

By  buttering over again –

FITTON

(Once, in seven years,

As the age dotes –

CYMBAL

And grows forgetful o’them,) 60

His antiquated pamphlets, with new dates.

But all shall come from the mint –

FITTON

Fresh and new stamped –

CYMBAL

With the office seal, Staple Commodity.

FITTON

And if a man will  assure his news, he may:

Twopence a sheet he shall be warranted, 65

And have a  policy for’t.

PENNYBOY JR

Sir, I admire

The method o’your place; all things within’t

Are so digested, fitted, and composed

As it shows  Wit had married Order.

FITTON

Sir –

CYMBAL

The best we could to  invite the times.

FITTON

It has 70

Cost sweat and freezing.

CYMBAL

And some broken sleeps

Before it came to this.

PENNYBOY JR

I easily think it.

FITTON

But now it has the shape –

CYMBAL

And is come forth.

PENNYBOY JR

A most  polite neat thing! With all the limbs

As sense can taste!

CYMBAL

It is, sir, though I say it, 75

As well-begotten a business, and as fairly

Helped to the world.

PENNYBOY JR

You must be a midwife, sir!

Or else the son of a midwife, pray you pardon me,

Have helped it forth so  happily! What news ha’ you?

News o’this morning? I would fain hear some 80

Fresh from the forge,  as new as day, as they say.

CYMBAL

And such we have, sir.

REGISTER

Show him the last roll,

Of Emissary Westminster’s: ‘the Heir’.

PENNYBOY JR

Come nearer, Tom.

 [Thomas Barber comes forward.]

NATHANIEL

 [Reading] There is a brave, young heir

Is come of age this morning, Master Pennyboy.

PENNYBOY JR

  (Rejoiceth that he is in.) That’s I! 85

NATHANIEL

His father died on  this day seventh-night.

PENNYBOY JR

True!

NATHANIEL

At six o’the clock i’the morning, just a week

Ere  he was one-and-twenty.

PENNYBOY JR

(Tells Tom of it.) I am here, Tom!

[To Clerk] Proceed, I pray thee.

NATHANIEL

 An old canting beggar

Brought him first news, whom he has entertained 90

To follow him since.

PENNYBOY JR

Why, you shall see him! (Calls in the Canter.) Founder,

Come in!

[Enter] PENNYBOY CANTER.

No follower, but companion.

[To Cymbal] I pray thee  put him in, friend. [To Clerk] There’s an  angel.

He gives [money to] the Clerk.

[To Cymbal] Thou dost not know he’s a wise old fellow,

Though he seem patched thus and made up o’ pieces. 95

[To Canter] Founder, we are in, here, in i’the News Office! [Exit Clerk.]

In this day’s  roll, already! [To Cymbal and Fitton] I do muse

 How you came by us, sirs.

CYMBAL

One Master Picklock,

A lawyer, that hath purchased here a place,

This morning, of an emissary under me – 100

FITTON

Emissary Westminster –

CYMBAL

Gave it into th’office,

FITTON

For his  essay, his piece.

PENNYBOY JR

My man o’law!

He’s my attorney, and solicitor too,

A fine  pragmatic! What’s his place worth?

CYMBAL

A  nemo-scit, sir.

FITTON

 ’Tis as news come in – 105

CYMBAL

And as they are issued. I have the  just  moiety

For my part; then the other  moiety

Is parted into seven. The four emissaries –

Whereof my cousin Fitton here’s for Court,

Ambler for Paul’s, and Buzz for the Exchange, 110

Picklock for Westminster, with the Examiner

And Register – they have full parts, and then one part

Is  underparted to a couple of clerks;

And there’s the  just division of the profits!

PENNYBOY JR

 Ha’ you those clerks, sir?

CYMBAL

There is one desk empty, 115

But it has many suitors.

PENNYBOY JR

Sir, may I

Present one more and  carry it, if his  parts,

Or gifts, which you will call ’em –

CYMBAL

Be sufficient, sir.

PENNYBOY JR

What are your present clerk’s abilities?

How is he qualified?

CYMBAL

A  decayed stationer 120

He was, but knows news well, can sort and rank ’em.

FITTON

And for a need can make ’em.

CYMBAL

True Paul’s bred,

I’th’ churchyard.

PENNYBOY JR

And this at the  west door,

O’th’other side, he’s my barber, Tom,

A  pretty scholar, and a Master of Arts – 125

 Was made, or went out, Master of Arts in a throng

At the university, as before, one Christmas,

He got into a masque at court by his wit,

And the good means of his   cittern, holding up thus

For one o’the music. He’s a nimble fellow, 130

And alike skilled in every liberal science,

As having certain  snaps of all; a neat,

Quick vein in forging news too. I do love him,

And promised him a good turn, and I would do it.

What’s your price? The value?

CYMBAL

Fifty pounds, sir. 135

PENNYBOY JR

[To Tom] Get in, Tom; take possession; I install thee.

  He buys Tom a clerk’s place.

Here,  tell your money. – Give thee joy, good Tom,

And let me hear from thee every minute of news

While the New Staple stands or the Office lasts,

Which I do wish may ne’er be less for thy sake. 140

 [Enter NATHANIEL, the clerk.]

NATHANIEL

 [To Cymbal] The emissaries, sir, would speak with you

And Master Fitton; they have brought in news,

Three bale together.

CYMBAL

[To Pennyboy Junior] Sir, you are welcome here.

FITTON

So is your  creature.

 They take leave of Pennyboy [Junior] and [Pennyboy] Canter.

CYMBAL

Business calls us off, sir,

That may concern the office.

PENNYBOY JR

 Keep me fair, sir, 145

Still i’your Staple; I am here your friend,

On the same floor.

FITTON

We shall be your servants.

 [Exeunt all but Pennyboy Junior and Pennyboy Canter.]

PENNYBOY JR

How dost thou like it, Founder?

CANTER

All is well,

But that your man o’law, me thinks, appears not

In his due time. Oh, here comes Master’s Worship. 150

1.6   [Enter] PICKLOCK.

PICKLOCK

How does the heir, bright Master Pennyboy?

Is he awake yet in his one-and-twenty?

Why, this is better far than to wear  cypress,

Dull  smutting gloves, or melancholy blacks,

And have a pair of  twelvepenny broad ribbons 5

Laid out like  labels.

PENNYBOY JR

I should ha’  made shift

To have laughed as heartily in my mourner’s hood

As in this suit, if it had pleased my father

 To have been buried with the trumpeters.

PICKLOCK

The heralds of arms, you mean.

PENNYBOY JR

I mean, 10

All noise that is superfluous!

PICKLOCK

All that idle pomp

And vanity of a tombstone your wise father

Did, by his will, prevent. Your Worship had –

PENNYBOY JR

A loving and obedient father of him,

I know it: a right, kind-natured man, 15

To die  so opportunely.

PICKLOCK

And to settle

All things so well,  compounded for your wardship

The week afore, and left your state entire

Without any charge upon’t.

PENNYBOY JR

I must needs say,

I lost an officer  of him, a good  bailiff, 20

And I shall want him. But all peace be with him;

I will not wish him alive again, not I,

For all my fortune. Give Your Worship joy

O’your new place, your emissaryship,

I’the news office!

PICKLOCK

Know you why I bought it, sir? 25

PENNYBOY JR

Not I.

PICKLOCK

To work for you, and  carry a mine

Against the master of it, Master Cymbal,

Who hath a plot upon a gentlewoman

 Was once designed for you, sir.

PENNYBOY JR

Me?

PICKLOCK

Your father,

Old Master Pennyboy, of happy memory, 30

And wisdom, too, as any i’the county,

Careful to find out a fit match for you

In his own lifetime (but he was prevented),

Left it in writing in a  schedule here

To be annexèd to his will  [showing a document], that you, 35

His only son,  upon his charge, and blessing,

Should take due notice of a gentlewoman,

Sojourning with your uncle, Richer Pennyboy.

PENNYBOY JR

A  Cornish gentlewoman. I do know her:

Mistress  Pecunia Do-all.

PICKLOCK

A great lady 40

Indeed she is, and not of mortal race,

Infanta of the Mines; Her Grace’s grandfather

Was duke and cousin to the King of  Ophir,

The  Subterranean; let that pass. Her name is,

Or, rather,  her three names are (for such she is) 45

 Aurelia Clara Pecunia, a great princess,

Of mighty power, though she live in private

With a  contracted family. Her  secretary –

CANTER

Who is her gentleman-usher, too –

PICKLOCK

One Broker;

And then two gentlewomen, Mistress Statute 50

And Mistress Band, with Wax, the chambermaid,

And Mother Mortgage, the old nurse;  two grooms,

Pawn and his fellow: you have not many to bribe, sir.

The work is feasible, and th’approaches easy,

By your own kindred. Now, sir, Cymbal thinks, 55

The master here and governor o’the Staple,

By his fine arts and pomp of his great place

To  draw her. He concludes she is a  woman,

And that so soon as sh’ hears of the new office

She’ll come to visit it, as  they all have longings 60

After new sights and  motions. But your bounty,

Person, and  bravery must achieve her.

CANTER

She is

The talk o’the time! Th’adventure o’the age!

PICKLOCK

You cannot put yourself upon an action

Of more importance.

CANTER

All the world are suitors to her. 65

PICKLOCK

All sorts of men and all professions!

CANTER

You shall have  stall-fed doctors,  crammed divines

 Make love to her, and with those studied

And perfumed flatteries as no  room can stink

More elegant than where they are.

PICKLOCK

Well chanted, 70

Old Canter! Thou sing’st true.

CANTER

And, by your leave,

Good Master’s Worship, some of your velvet coat

Make corpulent curtsies to her till they  crack for’t.

PICKLOCK

There’s Doctor Almanac woos her, one of the jeerers,

A fine physician.

CANTER

Your sea-captain, Shunfield, 75

 Gives out he’ll  go upon the cannon for her –

PICKLOCK

Though his loud  mouthing get him little credit.

CANTER

Young Master  Piedmantle, the fine herald,

Professes to   derive her through all ages,

From all the kings and queens that ever were. 80

PICKLOCK

And Master Madrigal, the crownèd poet

Of these our times, doth offer at her praises

As fair as any, when it shall please  Apollo

That wit and rhyme may meet both in one subject.

CANTER

And you to bear her from all these, it will be – 85

PICKLOCK

A work of fame.

CANTER

Of honour.

PICKLOCK

Celebration.

CANTER

Worthy your name.

PICKLOCK

The Pennyboys to live in’t.

CANTER

It  is an action you were built for, sir.

PICKLOCK

And none but you can do it.

PENNYBOY JR

I’ll undertake it,

CANTER

And carry it.

PENNYBOY JR

 Fear me not, for since I came 90

Of mature age, I have had a certain itch

In my right eye, this corner, here – do you see? –

To do some work, and  worthy of a chronicle. [Exeunt.]

THE FIRST  INTERMEAN AFTER THE FIRST ACT

MIRTH

How now,  gossip! How does the play please you?

CENSURE

Very scurvily, methinks, and sufficiently naught.

EXPECTATION

As a body would wish. Here’s nothing but a young prodigal come

of age, who makes much of the barber, buys him a place in a new office – i’the

air, I know not where – and his man o’law to follow him, with the beggar to 5

boot, and they two help him to a wife.

MIRTH

Ay,  she is a proper piece that such creatures can broke for!

TATTLE

 I cannot abide that nasty fellow, the beggar. If he had been a court-

beggar in good clothes, a beggar-in-velvet, as they say, I could have endured

him. 10

MIRTH

Or a begging scholar in black, or one of these beggarly poets, gossip, that

would hang upon a young heir like a horse-leech.

EXPECTATION

Or a threadbare doctor of  physic, a poor  quacksalver.

CENSURE

Or a sea-captain, half-starved.

MIRTH

Ay, these were  tolerable beggars, beggars of fashion! You shall see some 15

such anon.

TATTLE

 I would fain see the fool, gossip; the fool is the finest man i’the

company, they say, and has all the wit. He is the very Justice o’Peace o’the

play, and can   commit whom he will, and what he will, error, absurdity, as

the  toy takes him, and  no man say black is his eye, but laugh at him. 20

MIRTH

But they ha’ no fool i’this play, I am afraid, gossip.

TATTLE

It’s a wise play, then.

EXPECTATION

They are all fools the rather, in that.

CENSURE

Like enough.

TATTLE

My husband, Timothy Tattle (God rest his poor soul), was wont to say 25

 there was no play without a fool and a devil in’t; he was  for the devil still,

God bless him. The devil for his money, would he say, ‘I would fain see the

devil.’ ‘And why would you so fain see the devil?’ would I say. ‘Because he

has horns, wife, and may be a cuckold, as well as a devil,’ he would answer.

‘You are e’en such another, husband,’ quoth I. ‘Was the devil ever married? 30

Where do you read the devil was ever so honourable to commit  matrimony?’

‘The play will tell us that,’ says he, ‘we’ll go see’t tomorrow, The Devil Is an

Ass. He is an  errant learned man that made it and can write, they say, and I

am foully deceived but he can  read too.’

MIRTH

I remember it, gossip; I went with you. By the same token,  Mistress 35

Trouble-Truth  dissuaded us, and  told us he was a profane poet, and all his

plays had devils in them; that he kept school upo’ the stage, could conjure

there above the school of Westminster, and  Doctor Lamb, too; not a play

he made but had a devil in it; and that he would learn us all to make our

husbands cuckolds at plays; by another token, that a young married wife 40

i’the company said she could find in her heart to steal thither and see a little

o’the vanity through her mask, and come  practise at home.

TATTLE

Oh, it was Mistress –

MIRTH

Nay, gossip, I name nobody. It may be ’twas myself.

EXPECTATION

But was the devil a  proper man, gossip? 45

MIRTH

As fine a gentleman  of his inches as ever I saw trusted to the stage, or

anywhere else, and loved the commonwealth as well as e’er a  patriot of ’em

all.  He would carry away the Vice on his back, quick to hell, in every play

where he came, and reform abuses.

EXPECTATION

There was  The Devil of Edmonton, no such man, I warrant you. 50

CENSURE

The  conjurer cozened him with a candle’s end. He was an ass.

MIRTH

But there was one Smug, a smith, would have made a horse laugh, and

broke his halter, as they say.

TATTLE

Oh, but the poor man had got a  shrewd mischance, one day.

EXPECTATION

How, gossip? 55

TATTLE

He had dressed a rogue  jade i’the morning that had the  staggers, and

had got such a  spice of ’em himself by noon as they would not away all the

play time, do what he could, for his heart.

MIRTH

’Twas his part, gossip;  he was to be drunk, by his part.

TATTLE

Say you so?  I understood not  so much. 60

EXPECTATION

Would we had such another part and such a man in this play! I

fear ’twill be an excellent dull thing.

CENSURE

 Expect,  intend it.

2.1   [Enter] PENNYBOY SENIOR, PECUNIA, MORTGAGE, STATUTE, BAND, [and] BROKER.

PENNYBOY SR

[To Pecunia]  Your Grace is sad, methinks, and melancholy.

You do not look upon me with that  face

As you were wont, my goddess, bright Pecunia.

Although Your Grace be  fall’n of two i’the hundred

In vulgar estimation, yet am I 5

Your Grace’s servant still, and teach this body

To bend, and these my agèd knees to buckle

In adoration and just worship of you.

Indeed, I do confess,  I have no shape

To make a minion of, but I’m your martyr, 10

Your Grace’s martyr. I can hear the rogues,

As I do walk the streets, whisper and point:

 ‘There goes old Pennyboy, the slave of money,

Rich Pennyboy, Lady Pecunia’s drudge,

A sordid rascal,  one that never made 15

Good meal in his sleep, but sells the  acates are sent him,

Fish, fowl, and venison, and preserves himself,

Like an old hoary rat, with mouldy pie-crust.’

This I do hear, rejoicing I can suffer

This and much more for Your good Grace’s sake. 20

PECUNIA

Why do you so, my guardian? I not bid you.

Cannot my  grace be gotten, and held, too,

Without your self-tormentings and your watches,

Your  macerating of your body thus

With cares and scantings of your diet and rest? 25

PENNYBOY SR

Oh, no, your services, my princely lady,

Cannot with too much zeal of rites be done,

They are so sacred.

PECUNIA

But my reputation

May suffer, and the  worship of my family,

When by so servile means they both are sought. 30

PENNYBOY SR

You are a noble, young,  free, gracious lady,

And  would be everybody’s in your bounty,

But you must not be so.  They are a few

That know your merit, lady, and can value’t.

 Yourself scarce understands your  proper powers. 35

They are almighty, and that we your servants,

That have the honour here to stand so near you,

Know, and can  use too.  All  this nether world

Is yours; you command it and do sway it;

The honour of it and the honesty, 40

The reputation, ay, and the religion

(I was about to say, and  had not erred)

Is Queen Pecunia’s – for that  style is yours,

If mortals knew Your Grace, or their own good.

MORTGAGE

[To Pecunia] Please Your Grace to retire.

BAND

I fear Your Grace 45

Hath ta’en too much of the sharp air.

PECUNIA

Oh, no!

I could endure to take a great deal more

(And with my constitution), were it left

Unto my choice. What think you of it, Statute?

STATUTE

A little now and then does well, and keeps 50

Your Grace in your  complexion.

BAND

And true temper.

MORTGAGE

But too much, madam, may increase  cold rheums,

Nourish catarrhs,  green-sicknesses, and  agues,

And put you in consumption.

PENNYBOY SR

Best to take

Advice of your  grave women, noble madam; 55

They know the state o’your body, and ha’ studied

Your Grace’s health –

BAND

And honour. Here’ll be visitants

Or suitors by and by; and ’tis not fit

They find you here.

STATUTE

’Twill make Your Grace too cheap

To give them audience  presently.

MORTGAGE

Leave your secretary 60

To answer them.

PECUNIA

Wait you here, Broker.

BROKER

I shall, madam,

And do Your Grace’s trusts with diligence.  [Exeunt all but Broker.]

2.2   [Enter]  PIEDMANTLE.

PIEDMANTLE

What luck’s this? I am come an inch too late.

[To Broker]  Do you hear, sir? Is Your Worship o’the family

Unto the Lady Pecunia?

BROKER

I serve Her Grace, sir,

Aurelia Clara Pecunia, the Infanta.

PIEDMANTLE

Has she all those titles, and ‘Her Grace’ besides? 5

I must correct that ignorance and oversight

Before I do  present. Sir, I have drawn

A pedigree for Her Grace, though yet a novice

In that  so noble study.

BROKER

A herald at arms?

PIEDMANTLE

No, sir, a   pursuivant. My name is Piedmantle. 10

BROKER

Good Master Piedmantle!

PIEDMANTLE

I have  deduced her –

BROKER

From all the Spanish mines in the West  Indies,

I hope, for she comes that way by her mother,

But by her grandmother she’s Duchess of Mines.

PIEDMANTLE

From man’s creation I have  brought her.

BROKER

No further? 15

Before, sir, long before;  you have done  nothing, else.

 Your mines were before Adam. Search your office,

 Roll five-and-twenty, you will find it so.

I see you are but a novice, Master Piedmantle,

If you had not told me so.

 [Enter PENNYBOY SENIOR behind, concealing himself.]

PIEDMANTLE

Sir, an apprentice 20

In  armory. I have read the  Elements

And Accidence, and all the leading books,

And I have now upon me a great ambition

How to be brought to Her Grace to kiss her hands.

BROKER

Why, if you have acquaintance with Mistress Statute, 25

Or Mistress Band, my lady’s gentlewomen,

They can  induce you. One is a judge’s daughter,

But somewhat  stately; th’other, Mistress Band,

Her father’s but a  scrivener, but she  can

Almost as much with my lady as the other, 30

Especially if  Rose Wax, the chambermaid,

Be willing. Do you not know her, sir, neither?

PIEDMANTLE

No, in troth, sir.

BROKER

She’s a good pliant wench

And easy to be  wrought, sir. But the nurse,

Old Mother Mortgage – if you have a  tenement 35

Or such a morsel? Though she have no teeth,

She loves a sweetmeat, anything that melts

In her warm gums. She could command  it for you

On such a trifle, a toy. Sir, you may see

How for your love and  this so pure complexion, 40

A perfect sanguine, I ha’ ventured thus

The straining of a  ward, opening a door

Into the secrets of our family.

PIEDMANTLE

I pray you let me know, sir, unto whom

I am so much beholden;  but your name. 45

BROKER

My name is Broker. I am secretary

And usher to Her Grace.

PIEDMANTLE

Good Master Broker!

BROKER

Good Master Piedmantle.

PIEDMANTLE

Why, you could do me,

If you would, now, this favour  of yourself.

BROKER

Truly, I think I could; but if I would, 50

I hardly should, without  or Mistress Band

Or Mistress Statute please  to appear in it,

Or the good nurse I told you of, Mistress Mortgage.

We know our places here; we mingle not

One in another’s sphere, but all move orderly 55

In our own orbs; yet we are all  concentrics.

PIEDMANTLE

Well, sir, I’ll wait a better season.

BROKER

Do,

And study the right means. Get Mistress Band

To urge on your behalf, or little Wax.

  Broker makes a mouth at him.

PIEDMANTLE

I have a hope, sir, that I may, by chance, 60

Light on Her Grace as she’s taking the air.

He jeers him again.  [Exit Piedmantle.]

BROKER

That air of hope has  blasted many an   eyrie

Of kestrels like yourself, good Master Piedmantle –

 Old PENNYBOY leaps [forth].

PENNYBOY SR

Well said, Master Secretary; I stood behind

And  heard thee all. I honour  thy dispatches. 65

If they be rude, untrainèd  in our method,

And have not studied the rule, dismiss ’em quickly.

Where’s Lickfinger, my cook? That  unctuous rascal,

He’ll never keep his hour, that  vessel of  kitchen stuff!

2.3   [Enter] LICKFINGER.

BROKER

Here he is come, sir.

PENNYBOY SR

Pox upon him,  kidney,

Always too late!

LICKFINGER

 To wish ’em you, I confess,

That ha’ them already.

PENNYBOY SR

What?

LICKFINGER

The pox!

PENNYBOY SR

The piles,

The plague, and all diseases light on him

 Knows not to keep his word. I’d keep my word sure! 5

I hate that man that will not keep his word.

When did I break my word?

LICKFINGER

Or I, till now?

And ’tis but half an hour –

PENNYBOY SR

Half a year,

To me that stands upon a minute of time.

I am a  just man; I love  still to be just. 10

LICKFINGER

Why, you think I can run like  light-foot Ralph,

Or keep a wheelbarrow with a sail in town here

To whirl me to you? I have lost  two stone

Of suet i’the service  posting hither.

You might have followed me like a watering pot, 15

And seen the  knots I made along the street.

My face  dropped like the skimmer in a fritter pan,

And my whole body is yet, to say the truth,

A  roasted pound of butter with grated bread in’t!

  He sweeps his face.

PENNYBOY SR

 Believe you, he that list. You  stayed of purpose 20

To have my venison stink and my fowl  mortified,

That you might ha’ ’em –

LICKFINGER

A shilling or two cheaper,

That’s your  jealousy.

PENNYBOY SR

Perhaps it is.

Will you go in and view and value all?

 Yonder is venison sent me, fowl, and fish, 25

In such abundance I am sick to see it!

I wonder what they mean – I ha’ told ’em of it –

To burden a weak stomach and provoke

A dying appetite! Thrust a sin upon me

I ne’er was guilty of: nothing but gluttony, 30

Gross gluttony, that will undo this land!

LICKFINGER

And  bating two i’the hundred.

PENNYBOY SR

Ay, that same’s

A crying sin, a fearful damned device,

Eats up the poor, devours ’em –

LICKFINGER

 Sir, take heed

What you give out.

PENNYBOY SR

Against your grave, great  Solons? 35

Numae Pompilii, they that made that law

To take away the poor’s inheritance?

It was their portion,  I will stand to’t,

And they have robbed ’em of it, plainly robbed ’em.

I still am a just man; I tell the truth. 40

When  moneys went at ten i’the hundred, I,

And such as I, the servants of Pecunia,

Could spare the poor two out of ten, and did it. –

How say you, Broker?

LICKFINGER

 [Aside] Ask your echo.

BROKER

You did it.

PENNYBOY SR

I am for justice. When did I leave justice? 45

We knew ’twas  theirs. They’d right and title to’t.

Now –

LICKFINGER

You can spare ’em nothing –

PENNYBOY SR

Very little –

LICKFINGER

As good as nothing.

PENNYBOY SR

 They have bound our hands

With their wise, solemn act,  shortened our arms.

LICKFINGER

Beware those worshipful ears, sir, be not shortened, 50

And you  play Crop i’the Fleet, if you use this licence.

PENNYBOY SR

What licence, knave? Informer?

LICKFINGER

I am Lickfinger,

Your cook.

PENNYBOY SR

A saucy  jack you are,  that’s once. –

What said I, Broker?

BROKER

Nothing that I heard, sir.

LICKFINGER

[Aside] I know  his gift; he can be deaf when he list. 55

PENNYBOY SR

Ha’ you provided me my  bushel of eggs

I did bespeak – I do not care how stale

Or stinking that they be; let ’em be rotten –

For ammunition here to pelt the boys

That break my windows?

LICKFINGER

Yes, sir, I ha’ spared ’em 60

Out of the  custard politic for you, the mayor’s.

PENNYBOY SR

’Tis well. Go in, take hence all that excess;

Make what you can of it, your best. And when

I have friends that I invite at home, provide me

Such, such, and such a dish as I bespeak, 65

One at a time, no superfluity;

Or if you have it not, return me money.

You know my ways.

LICKFINGER

They are a little crooked.

PENNYBOY SR

How, knave?

LICKFINGER

Because you do  indent.

PENNYBOY SR

’Tis true, sir,

I do indent you shall return me money – 70

LICKFINGER

Rather than meat, I know it. You are just still.

PENNYBOY SR

I love it still. And therefore if you  spend

The  red-deer pies i’your house, or sell ’em forth, sir,

 Cast so that I may have their  coffins all

Returned here and piled up.  I would be thought 75

To keep some kind of house.

LICKFINGER

By the  mouldy signs?

PENNYBOY SR

And then remember, meat for my two dogs:

Fat flaps of mutton, kidneys, rumps of veal,

Good plenteous scraps. My maid shall eat the relics –

LICKFINGER

When you and your dogs have dined! A sweet  reversion. 80

PENNYBOY SR

[Looking offstage] Who’s here? My courtier and my little doctor,

My  muster-master – and  what plover’s that

They have brought to  pull?

BROKER

I know not; some  green plover.

I’ll find him out.

PENNYBOY SR

Do, for I know the rest:

They are the Jeerers, mocking, flouting jacks.

2.4   [Enter] FITTON, ALMANAC, SHUNFIELD, [and] MADRIGAL.

FITTON

How now, old  money-bawd?  We’re come –

PENNYBOY SR

To jeer me,

As you were wont. I know you.

ALMANAC

No, to give thee

Some good security, and see Pecunia.

PENNYBOY SR

 What is’t?

FITTON

Ourselves.

ALMANAC

We’ll be one bound for another.

FITTON

[Indicating Almanac] This noble doctor here.

ALMANAC

[Indicating Fitton] This worthy courtier. 5

FITTON

[Indicating Shunfield] This man o’war, he was our muster-master.

ALMANAC

But a sea-captain now, brave Captain Shunfield.

 He [Pennyboy Senior] holds up his nose.

SHUNFIELD

You snuff the air now,  as the scent displeased you?

FITTON

[To Pennyboy Junior] Thou need’st not fear him, man. His credit

is sound.

ALMANAC

And seasoned, too, since he took salt at sea. 10

PENNYBOY SR

I do not love  pickled security.

Would I had one good  fresh-man in for all,

For truth is, you three stink.

SHUNFIELD

You are a  rogue.

PENNYBOY SR

I think I am, but I will lend no money

On that security, captain.

ALMANAC

Here’s a gentleman, 15

A fresh-man i’the world, one Master Madrigal.

FITTON

Of an untainted credit; what say you to him?

Madrigal steps aside with Broker.

SHUNFIELD

He’s gone, methinks. Where is he? – Madrigal?

PENNYBOY SR

H’has an odd  singing name. Is he an  heir?

FITTON

An heir to a fair fortune –

ALMANAC

And full hopes, 20

A dainty scholar and a pretty poet!

PENNYBOY SR

You’ve said enough. I ha’ no money, gentlemen;

An he go to’t in rhyme once, not a penny.

He snuffs again.

SHUNFIELD

Why, he’s  of years, though he have little beard.

PENNYBOY SR

His beard has time to grow. I have no money. 25

Let him still dabble in poetry. No Pecunia

Is to be seen.

ALMANAC

Come, thou lov’st to be  costive

Still i’thy  court’sy, but I have a  pill,

A golden pill, to purge away this melancholy.

[They jeer at Pennyboy Senior.]

SHUNFIELD

’Tis nothing but his keeping o’the house here, 30

With his two drowsy dogs.

FITTON

A  drench of sack

At a good tavern, and a fine fresh pullet,

Would cure him.

LICKFINGER

Nothing but a young   hare in white broth.

I know his diet better than the doctor.

SHUNFIELD

What, Lickfinger, mine old host of  Ram Alley? 35

You ha’ some market here.

ALMANAC

Some  dosser of fish

Or fowl to fetch off.

FITTON

An odd bargain of venison

To drive.

PENNYBOY SR

[To Lickfinger] Will you go in, knave?

LICKFINGER

 I must needs.

You see who drives me, gentlemen.

 Pennyboy [Senior] thrusts him in.

ALMANAC

Not the devil.

FITTON

He may be, in time; he is his agent, now. 40

PENNYBOY SR

You are all  cogging jacks, a  covey o’wits,

The Jeerers, that  still call together at meals;

Or rather an  eyrie, for you are birds of prey

And fly at all – nothing’s too big or high for you –

And are so truly feared, but not beloved, 45

One of another as no one dares break

Company from the rest, lest they should fall

Upon  him absent.

[They continue to jeer at Pennyboy Senior.]

ALMANAC

Oh, the only oracle

That ever peeped or  spake out of a doublet!

SHUNFIELD

How the rogue stinks, worse than a   fishmonger’s sleeves! 50

FITTON

Or  currier’s hands!

SHUNFIELD

And such a  parboiled visage!

FITTON

His face looks like a  dyer’s apron, just!

ALMANAC

A  sodden head, and his whole brain a  posset curd!

PENNYBOY SR

Ay, now you jeer. Jeer on; I have no money.

ALMANAC

I wonder what religion he’s of? 55

FITTON

No certain species sure, a kind of mule

That’s half an  ethnic, half a Christian!

PENNYBOY SR

I have no money, gentlemen.

SHUNFIELD

This  stock,

He has no sense of any virtue, honour,

Gentry, or merit.

PENNYBOY SR

You say very right, 60

My meritorious captain (as I take it).

Merit will keep no house, nor pay no house-rent.

Will Mistress Merit go to market, think you?

Set on the pot, or feed the family?

Will gentry  clear with the butcher or the baker, 65

 Fetch in a pheasant or a brace of partridges

From goodwife  Poulter for my lady’s supper?

FITTON

See this  pure rogue!

PENNYBOY SR

This rogue has money, though;

My worshipful  brave courtier has no money –

No, nor my valiant captain.

SHUNFIELD

Hang you, rascal! 70

PENNYBOY SR

[To Almanac] Nor you, my learned doctor. I loved you

While you did hold your  practice and kill  tripe-wives,

And kept you to your  urinal; but since your thumbs

Have greased the  Ephemerides, casting  figures,

And  turning over for your candle-rents, 75

 And your twelve  houses in the Zodiac,

With your  almutens,  almacantaras,

Troth, you shall cant alone  for Pennyboy.

SHUNFIELD

[To the others] I told you what we should find him: a  mere bawd.

FITTON

A rogue, a cheater.

PENNYBOY SR

What you please, gentlemen. 80

I am of that humble nature and condition

Never to mind Your Worships, or take notice

Of what you throw away thus. I keep house here

 Like a lame cobbler, never out of doors,

With my two dogs, my friends, and, as you say, 85

Drive a quick, pretty trade still. I get money;

And as for titles, be they ‘rogue’ or ‘rascal’,

Or what Your Worships fancy, let ’em pass

As transitory things. They’re mine today

And yours tomorrow.

ALMANAC

Hang thee, dog!

SHUNFIELD

Thou cur! 90

PENNYBOY SR

You see how I do blush and am ashamed

Of  these large attributes? Yet you have no money.

ALMANAC

Well, wolf, hyena, you old  pocky rascal,

You will ha’ the hernia fall down again

Into your scrotum, and I shall be sent for. 95

I will remember then, that; and your  fistula

In ano I cured you of.

PENNYBOY SR

Thank your  dog-leech craft.

They  were ’olesome piles, afore you meddled with ’em.

[They continue to jeer at Pennyboy Senior.]

ALMANAC

What an ungrateful wretch is this!

SHUNFIELD

He minds

A courtesy no more than  London Bridge 100

What arch was mended last.

FITTON

He never  thinks,

More than a  log, of any grace at court

A man may do him, or that such a lord

Reached him his hand.

PENNYBOY SR

Oh, yes! if grace would  strike

The brewer’s tally, or my good lord’s hand 105

Would  quit the scores; but, sir, they will not do it.

He shows a piece [of gold].

Here’s a piece, my good Lord Piece, doth all:

Goes to the  butcher’s, fetches in a mutton,

Then to the baker’s, brings in bread, makes fires,

Gets wine, and does more real courtesies 110

Than all  milords I know. My sweet Lord Piece!

You are my lord; the rest are  cogging jacks,

 Under the rose.

SHUNFIELD

Rogue!  I could beat you now.

PENNYBOY SR

True, captain, if you durst beat any other,

 I should believe you. But indeed you are hungry; 115

 You are not angry, captain, if I know you

Aright, good captain.  No Pecunia

Is to be seen, though Mistress Band would speak,

Or little  Blushet Wax be ne’er so easy;

 I’ll stop mine ears with her against the sirens, 120

Court and Philosophy. God be wi’ you, gentlemen;

 Provide you better names, Pecunia is for you.
[Exit.]

FITTON

What a damned  harpy  it is! Where’s Madrigal?

Is he sneaked hence?

MADRIGAL returns [with BROKER].

SHUNFIELD

 Here he comes with Broker,

Pecunia’s secretary.

ALMANAC

He may do some good 125

With him, perhaps. – Where ha’ you been, Madrigal?

MADRIGAL

Above with My Lady’s women, reading verses.

FITTON

 That was a favour. [To Broker] Good morrow, Master Secretary.

SHUNFIELD

Good morrow, Master Usher.

ALMANAC

Sir, by both

Your worshipful titles and your name,  Mas’ Broker, 130

Good morrow.

MADRIGAL

I did ask him if he were

 Amphibian Broker.

SHUNFIELD

Why?

ALMANAC

A  creature of two natures,

Because he has two offices.

BROKER

You may jeer,

You ha’ the wits, young gentlemen, but  your hope

Of Helicon will never carry it here 135

With our  fat family. We ha’ the dullest,

Most  unbored ears for verse amongst our females.

I grieved you read so long, sir. Old nurse Mortgage,

She snored i’the chair, and Statute, if you marked her,

Fell fast asleep, and Mistress Band, she nodded, 140

But not with any consent to what you read.

They must have somewhat else to  chink than rhymes;

If you could make an epitaph on your land –

Imagine it  on departure – such a poem

Would wake ’em and  bring Wax to her true temper. 145

MADRIGAL

I’faith, sir, and I will try.

BROKER

’Tis but earth,

Fit to make bricks and tiles of.

SHUNFIELD

Pox upon’t,

’Tis but for pots or  pipkins at the best.

If it would keep us in good tobacco pipes –

BROKER

’Twere worth keeping;

FITTON

Or in porcelain dishes, 150

There were some hope.

ALMANAC

But this is a  hungry soil,

And must be helped.

FITTON

Who would hold any land

To have the trouble to  marl it?

SHUNFIELD

Not a gentleman.

BROKER

Let  clowns and hinds affect it that love ploughs,

And carts, and harrows, and are busy still 155

In vexing  the dull element.

ALMANAC

Our sweet songster

Shall rarify ’t into air.

FITTON

 [Aside] And you, Mas’ Broker,

Shall have  a feeling.

BROKER

So it  supple, sir,

The nerves.

MADRIGAL

Oh, it shall be palpable:

 Make thee run  through a  hoop, or a thumb-ring, 160

The nose of a tobacco pipe, and draw

Thy  ductile bones out like a knitting needle,

To serve my subtle turns.

BROKER

I shall obey, sir,

And  run a thread, like an hourglass.

 [Enter PENNYBOY SENIOR.]

PENNYBOY SR

Where is Broker?

Are not these  flies gone yet? – Pray, quit my house. 165

I’ll smoke you out else.

FITTON

Oh, the prodigal!

Will you be at so much charge with us, and loss?

MADRIGAL

[To Pennyboy Senior]  I have heard you ha’ offered, sir, to lock up smoke,

And caulk your  windows,  spar up all your doors,

Thinking to keep it a close prisoner wi’ you, 170

And wept when it went out, sir, at your chimney.

[They continue to jeer at Pennyboy Senior.]

FITTON

And yet his eyes were drier than a pumice.

SHUNFIELD

 A wretched rascal, that will bind about

The nose of his bellows lest the wind get out

When he’s abroad!

ALMANAC

Sweeps down no  cobwebs here, 175

But sells ’em for cut fingers. And the  spiders,

As creatures reared of dust and cost him nothing,

To   fat old ladies’ monkeys.

FITTON

He has offered

To gather up spilt water, and preserve

Each  hair falls from him to stop balls  withal. 180

SHUNFIELD

A slave, and an idolater to Pecunia!

PENNYBOY SR

You all have happy memories, gentlemen,

In rocking my poor cradle. I remember, too,

When you had lands, and credit,  worship, friends,

Ay, and could  give security. Now you have none, 185

Or will have none right shortly.  This can time,

And the vicissitude of things. I have

All these, and money too, and do possess ’em,

And am right heartily glad of all our memories,

And  both the changes.

FITTON

 [To the others] Let us leave the viper. 190

[Exeunt all but Pennyboy Senior and Broker.]

PENNYBOY SR

[Aside] He’s glad he is rid of his torture, and so soon. –

[To Broker] Broker, come hither. Up, and tell your lady

She must be ready presently, and Statute,

Band, Mortgage, Wax. My prodigal young kinsman

Will straight be here to see her:   top of our house, 195

The flourishing and  flaunting Pennyboy.

We were but three of us in all the world:

My brother Francis, whom they called Frank Pennyboy,

Father to this – he’s dead; this Pennyboy,

Is now the heir; I, Richer Pennyboy, 200

Not ‘Richard’, but  old Harry Pennyboy,

And (to make rhyme) close,  wary Pennyboy,

I shall have all at last, my hopes do tell me.

Go, see all ready, and where my dogs have  faulted,

Remove it with a broom, and sweeten all 205

With a  slice of juniper – not too much, but sparing.

We may be faulty ourselves else, and turn prodigal

In entertaining of  the Prodigal.  [Exit Broker.]

[Pennyboy Senior sees his nephew approaching.]

Here he is! And with him – what? A  clapper dudgeon!

That’s a good sign, to have the beggar follow him 210

So near at his first entry into fortune.

2.5   [Enter] PENNYBOY JUNIOR, PICKLOCK, [and PENNYBOY] CANTER.

Broker, Pecunia, Statute, Band, Wax, [and] Mortgage [are] hid in the study [offstage, in the discovery space].

PENNYBOY JR

How now, old uncle? I am come to see thee

And the brave lady here, the daughter of  Ophir,

They say thou keep’st.

PENNYBOY SR

Sweet nephew,  if she were

The  daughter o’the sun, she’s at your service,

And so am I, and the whole family, 5

Worshipful nephew.

PENNYBOY JR

Say’st thou so, dear uncle?

Welcome my friends, then. Here is  Domine Picklock,

My man o’law, solicits all my causes,

Follows my business, makes and  compounds my quarrels

Between my tenants and me, sows all my strifes 10

And reaps them too, troubles the country for me,

And vexes any neighbour that I please.

PENNYBOY SR

But with commission?

PENNYBOY JR

Under my hand and seal.

PENNYBOY SR

A worshipful place!

PICKLOCK

I thank His Worship for it.

PENNYBOY SR

[Indicating Pennyboy Canter] But what is this old gentleman?

CANTER

A rogue, 15

A very canter; ay, sir, one that  maunds

Upon the pad. We should be brothers, though,

For you are near as wretched as myself.

You dare not use your money, and I have none.

PENNYBOY SR

Not use my money,  cogging jack? Who  uses it 20

At better rates?  Lets it for  more i’the hundred

Than I do, sirrah?

PENNYBOY JR

Be not angry, uncle.

PENNYBOY SR

What? To disgrace me with my queen? As if

I did not know her value.

CANTER

Sir, I meant

You durst not to enjoy it.

PENNYBOY SR

Hold your peace; 25

You are a jack.

 Young Pennyboy is angry.

PENNYBOY JR

Uncle, he shall be a   John,

  And, you go to that, as good a man as you are.

An I can make him so, a better man,

Perhaps I will, too. [To Canter and Picklock] Come, let us go.

PENNYBOY SR

Nay, kinsman,

My worshipful kinsman, and the top of our house, 30

Do not your penitent uncle that affront,

For a rash word to leave his joyful threshold

Before you see the lady that you long for,

The Venus of the time and state, Pecunia!

I do perceive your bounty loves the man 35

For some concealèd virtue that he hides

Under those rags.

CANTER

I owe my  happiness to him,

The waiting on His Worship, since I brought him

The happy news, welcome to all young heirs.

PENNYBOY JR

Thou didst it indeed, for which I thank thee yet. – 40

Your fortunate princess, uncle, is long a-coming.

PENNYBOY SR

She is not rigged, sir. Setting forth some lady

Will cost as much as furnishing a fleet.

    The study is opened where she [PECUNIA] sits in state, [attended by
STATUTE, BAND, WAX, MORTGAGE, and BROKER].

Here she’s come at last,  and like a galley

 Gilt i’the prow.

PENNYBOY JR

Is this Pecunia? 45

PENNYBOY SR

[To Pecunia] Vouchsafe my  toward kinsman, gracious madam,

The favour of your hand.

PECUNIA

Nay, of my  lips, sir,

To him. (She kisseth him).

PENNYBOY JR

[Aside] She kisses like a mortal creature. –

[To Pecunia] Almighty madam, I have longed to see you.

PECUNIA

And  I have my desire, sir, to behold 50

That youth and shape which in my dreams and wakes

I have so oft contemplated, and felt

Warm in my veins and native as my blood.

When I was told of your arrival here,

I felt my heart beat as it would leap out 55

In speech, and all my face it was aflame;

But how it came to pass I do not know.

PENNYBOY JR

Oh, beauty  loves to be more proud than nature,

That made you blush! I cannot satisfy

My curious eyes, by which alone I’m happy 60

 In my beholding you. (He kisseth her.)

CANTER

[To the others] They pass the compliment

Prettily well.

PICKLOCK

Ay, he does kiss her.  I like him.

PENNYBOY JR

 My passion was clear  contrary and doubtful:

I shook for fear, and yet I danced for joy.

I had such motions as the sunbeams make 65

Against a wall or playing on a water,

Or trembling vapour of a boiling pot –

PENNYBOY SR

[To the others] That’s not so good. It should ha’ been a crucible

With molten metal; she had understood it.

PENNYBOY JR

[To Pecunia] I cannot talk, but I can love you, madam. 70

Are these your gentlewomen? I love them, too.

  [He kisses them all.]

And which is Mistress Statute? Mistress Band?

They all kiss  close; the last stuck to my lips.

BROKER

It was my lady’s chambermaid, soft Wax.

PENNYBOY JR

Soft lips she has, I am sure on’t. – Mother Mortgage – 75

[Hesitates] I’ll owe a kiss, till she be  younger.

  He doubles the compliment to them all.

– Statute,

Sweet Mistress Band, and honey, little Wax,

We must be better acquainted.

STATUTE

We are but servants, sir.

BAND

But whom Her Grace is so content to grace

We shall  observe –

WAX

 And with all fit respect – 80

MORTGAGE

In our poor places –

WAX

Being Her Grace’s shadows.

PENNYBOY JR

A fine, well-spoken family. [To Broker] What’s thy name?

BROKER

 Broker.

PENNYBOY JR

[Aside to him] Methinks my uncle should not need thee,

Who is a crafty knave enough, believe it.

Art thou Her Grace’s steward?

BROKER

No, her usher, sir. 85

PENNYBOY JR

What, o’the hall? Thou hast a  sweeping face;

 Thy beard is like a broom.

BROKER

No barren chin, sir.

 I am no eunuch, though a gentleman-usher.

PENNYBOY JR

Thou shalt go with us. – Uncle, I must have

My princess forth today.

PENNYBOY SR

Whither you please, sir, 90

You shall command her.

PECUNIA

I will do all grace

To my new servant.

 Old Pennyboy thanks her, but makes his condition.

PENNYBOY SR

Thanks unto your bounty;

He is my nephew and my chief, the point,

Tip, top, and  tuft of all our family! –

But, sir, conditioned always, you return 95

Statute and Band home, with my sweet, soft Wax,

And my good nurse here, Mortgage –

PENNYBOY JR

Oh! What else?

PENNYBOY SR

 By Broker.

PENNYBOY JR

Do not fear.

PENNYBOY SR

She shall go wi’ you,

Whither you please, sir, anywhere.

CANTER

[Aside to Picklock] I see

A money-bawd is  lightly a flesh-bawd, too. 100

PICKLOCK

[To Canter]  Are you advised? [Aside] Now, o’my faith, this canter

Would make a good grave  burgess in some barn.

PENNYBOY JR

[To Pennyboy Sr] Come, thou shalt go with us, uncle.

PENNYBOY SR

 By no means, sir.

PENNYBOY JR

We’ll have both sack and fiddlers.

PENNYBOY SR

I’ll not draw

That charge upon Your Worship.

CANTER

[Aside to Picklock] He speaks modestly, 105

And like an uncle.

PENNYBOY SR

But Mas’ Broker here,

He shall attend you, nephew, Her Grace’s usher,

And what you fancy to bestow on him –

Be not too lavish, use a temperate bounty –

I’ll take it to myself.

PENNYBOY JR

I will be princely 110

While I possess my princess, my Pecunia.

PENNYBOY SR

Where is’t you eat?

PENNYBOY JR

Hard by, at Picklock’s lodging;

Old Lickfinger’s the cook, here in Ram Alley.

PENNYBOY SR

He has good cheer. Perhaps I’ll come and see you.

 The Canter takes him [Pennyboy Junior] aside, and, [along with Picklock,] persuades him.

CANTER

Oh, fie! An alley, and a  cook’s shop, gross! 115

’Twill savour, sir, most rankly of ’em both.

Let your meat rather follow you to a tavern.

PICKLOCK

A tavern’s as unfit, too, for a princess.

CANTER

No, I have known a princess, and a great one,

 Come forth of a tavern.

PICKLOCK

Not go in, sir, though. 120

CANTER

She must go in, if she came forth. The blessed

 Pocahontas, as the historian calls her,

 And great king’s  daughter of Virginia,

Hath been  in womb of a tavern. And, besides,

Your nasty uncle will spoil all your mirth, 125

And be as noisome.

PICKLOCK

That’s true.

CANTER

No, ’faith,

Dine in  Apollo with Pecunia

At brave Duke Wadloe’s. Have your friends about you

And make a day on ’t.

PENNYBOY JR

Content, i’faith;

Our meat shall be brought thither. Simon the king 130

Will bid us welcome.

PICKLOCK

Patron, I have a suit.

PENNYBOY JR

What’s that?

PICKLOCK

That you will carry the Infanta

To see the Staple. Her Grace will be a grace

To all the members of it.

PENNYBOY JR

I will do it,

And  have her arms set up there with her titles – 135

Aurelia Clara Pecunia, the Infanta –

And in Apollo. [To Pecunia] Come, sweet princess, go.

PENNYBOY SR

Broker, be careful of your charge.

BROKER

I warrant you. [Exeunt.]

THE SECOND INTERMEAN AFTER THE SECOND ACT

CENSURE

Why, this is duller and duller! Intolerable! Scurvy! Neither devil nor

fool in this play! Pray God some  on us be not a  witch, gossip, to  forespeak the

matter thus.

MIRTH

 I fear we are all such, an we were old enough;  but we are not all old

enough to make one witch. How like you the Vice i’the play? 5

EXPECTATION

Which is he?

MIRTH

Three or four: old Covetousness, the sordid Pennyboy; the money-bawd

who is a flesh-bawd too, they say.

TATTLE

But here is never a fiend  to carry him away. Besides, he has never a

 wooden dagger! I’d not give a  rush for a Vice that has not a wooden dagger 10

to snap at everybody he meets.

MIRTH

That was the old way, gossip, when Iniquity came in like  Hocus-Pocus,

in a juggler’s jerkin, with false  skirts like the  Knave of Clubs. But now they

are attired like men and women  o’the time, the Vices, male and female!

Prodigality like a young heir, and his mistress Money (whose favours he 15

scatters like counters) pranked up like a prime lady, the  Infanta of the

Mines.

CENSURE

Ay, therein they abuse an honourable princess, it is thought.

MIRTH

By whom is it so thought? Or where lies the abuse?

CENSURE

Plain in the styling her ‘Infanta’ and giving her three names. 20

MIRTH

Take heed it lie not in the vice of your interpretation. What have  Aurelia,

Clara, Pecunia to do with any person? Do they any more but express the

property of money, which is the daughter of earth and drawn out of the

mines? Is there nothing to be called ‘Infanta’ but what is  subject to exception?

Why not the ‘Infanta of the Beggars’, or  ‘Infanta o’the Gypsies’, as well as 25

‘King of Beggars’ and ‘King of Gypsies’?

CENSURE

Well,  an there were no wiser than I, I would sew him in a sack and send

him by sea to his princess.

MIRTH

Faith, an he heard you, Censure, he would go near to  stick the ass’s ears

to your high  dressing, and perhaps to all ours for hearkening to you. 30

TATTLE

By’r Lady, but he should not to mine. I would hearken and hearken and

censure, if I saw cause, for th’other princess’ sake, Pocahontas, surnamed

The Blessed, whom he has abused indeed (and I do censure him, and will

censure him), to say she came forth of a tavern was said like a paltry poet.

MIRTH

That’s but one gossip’s opinion, and my gossip Tattle’s, too! But what 35

says Expectation here? She sits sullen and silent.

EXPECTATION

Troth, I expect their office, their great office, the Staple, what it

will be! They have talked on’t, but we see’t not open yet. Would Butter would

come in and  spread itself a little to us!

MIRTH

Or the  butter-box, Buzz, the emissary. 40

TATTLE

When it is churned and  dished we shall hear of it.

EXPECTATION

If it be fresh and sweet butter; but say it be sour and wheyish?

MIRTH

Then it is worth nothing, mere  pot-butter, fit to be spent in

suppositories or greasing coach wheels, stale stinking butter, and such I

fear it is, by the being barrelled up so long. 45

EXPECTATION

Or rank Irish butter.

CENSURE

Have patience, gossips. Say that contrary to our expectations it prove

right,  seasonable, salt butter?

MIRTH

Or to the time of year, in Lent, delicate  almond butter! I have a sweet

tooth yet, and I will hope the best, and sit down as quiet and calm as butter, 50

look as smooth and soft as butter, be merry and melt like butter, laugh and

be fat like butter –  so butter answer my expectation and be not mad butter.

If it be, it shall both  July and December see. I say no more, but –  Dixi.

TO THE READERS

In this following act, the Office is  opened and shown to the Prodigal and his

princess, Pecunia, wherein the allegory and purpose of the author hath hitherto

been wholly mistaken, and so sinister an interpretation been made  as if the souls

of most of the spectators had lived in the eyes and ears of these ridiculous gossips

that tattle between the acts. But he prays you thus to mend it: to consider the 5

news here vented to be none of his news or any reasonable man’s, but news made

like the time’s news – a weekly cheat to draw money –  and could not be fitter

reprehended than in raising this ridiculous office of the Staple, wherein the age

may see her own folly or hunger and thirst after published pamphlets of news, set

out every Saturday, but made all at home, and no syllable of truth in them, than 10

which there cannot be a greater disease in nature or a fouler scorn put upon the

times. And so apprehending it, you shall do the author and your own judgement a

courtesy, and perceive the trick of alluring money to the Office and there cozening

the people. If you have the truth, rest quiet, and consider that

 Ficta, voluptatis causa, sint proxima veris. 15

3.1    [Enter] FITTON [and] CYMBAL.

FITTON

You hunt upon a wrong scent still, and think

The  air of things will carry ’em, but it must

Be reason and proportion, not fine sounds,

My  cousin Cymbal, must get you this lady.

You have entertained a  pettifogger here, 5

Picklock, with  trust of an emissary’s place,

 And he is all for the young prodigal;

You see he has left us.

CYMBAL

Come, you do not know him

That speak thus of him. He will have a trick

To open us a gap by a  trap-door 10

When they least dream on’t. Here he comes.

 [Enter] to them PICKLOCK.

[To Picklock] What news?

PICKLOCK

Where is my brother,  Buzz? My brother, Ambler?

The Register, Examiner, and the clerks?

Appear and let us muster  all in pomp,

  [Enter the] REGISTER, [NATHANIEL the] clerk, [and] THOMAS BARBER.

For here will be the rich Infanta, presently, 15

To make her visit. Pennyboy the heir,

My patron,  has got leave for her to play,

With all her train, of the old churl her guardian.

Now is your time to make all court unto her,

That she may first but know, then love, the place, 20

And show it by her frequent visits here;

And afterwards get her to sojourn with you.

She will be weary of the prodigal quickly.

CYMBAL

Excellent news!

FITTON

And counsel of an oracle!

CYMBAL

How say you, cousin Fitton?

FITTON

Brother Picklock, 25

I shall adore thee for this parcel of tidings.

It will  cry up the credit of our Office

Eternally, and make our Staple immortal!

PICKLOCK

Look your addresses, then, be fair and fit,

And entertain her and her creatures, too, 30

With all the  migniardise and  quaint caresses

You can put on ’em.

FITTON

Thou seem’st by thy language

No less a courtier than a man o’law.

I must embrace thee.

PICKLOCK

Tut, I am  Vertumnus

On every change or chance; upon occasion, 35

A true chameleon; I can  colour for’t.

I move upon my axle like a  turnpike,

Fit my face to the parties, and become,

 Straight, one of them.

CYMBAL

[To Register, etc.] Sirs, up, into your desks,

And spread the rolls upon the table, so. 40

[The Register, Clerk, and Tom Barber take their places.]

Is the Examiner set?

REGISTER

Yes, sir.

CYMBAL

Ambler and Buzz

Are both  abroad now.

PICKLOCK

We’ll sustain their parts.

No matter, let them ply the affairs  without.

 Let us alone within; I like that well.

On with the cloak, and you with the Staple gown, 45

 Fitton puts on the office cloak, and Cymbal the gown.

And  keep your state; stoop only to the infanta.

We’ll  have a flight at Mortgage, Statute, Band,

And  hard but we’ll bring Wax  unto the retrieve.

Each know his several province, and discharge it.

 Fitton is brought about.

FITTON

I do admire this nimble  engine, Picklock.

CYMBAL

[Aside to Fitton]  Cuz, 50

What did I say?

FITTON

[Aside to Cymbal] You have rectified  my error!

3.2   [Enter to them] PENNYBOY JUNIOR, PENNYBOY CANTER, PECUNIA, STATUTE, BAND, MORTGAGE, WAX, [and] BROKER.

PENNYBOY JR

By your leave, gentlemen, what news? Good, good still,

I’your new office? – Princess, here’s the Staple.

This is the Governor; kiss him, noble princess,

For my sake. [Pecunia kisses Cymbal.]

Tom, how is it, honest Tom?

How does thy place, and thou? –  My creature, princess, 5

This is my creature; give him your hand to kiss.

 [Tom kisses Pecunia’s hand.] He tells Pecunia of Tom.

He was my barber, now he  writes Clericus!

I bought this place for him and gave it him.

CANTER

He  should have spoke of that, sir, and not you.

 Two do not do one office well.

PENNYBOY JR

’Tis true, 10

But I am loath  to lose my courtesies.

CANTER

So are all they that do them to vain ends,

 And yet you do lose when you pay  yourselves.

PENNYBOY JR

No more o’your  sentences, Canter; they are stale.

We come for news; remember where you are. – 15

I pray thee let my princess hear some news,

Good Master Cymbal.

CYMBAL

What news would she hear,

Or of what kind, sir?

PENNYBOY JR

Any, any kind,

So it be news, the newest that thou hast;

Some news of state, for a princess.

CYMBAL

[To Tom Barber]  Read from Rome, there. 20

News from Rome.

THOMAS

They  write the King of Spain is chosen pope.

PENNYBOY JR

How?

THOMAS

And emperor, too, the thirtieth of February.

PENNYBOY JR

Is  the emperor dead?

 News of the emperor and Tilly.

CYMBAL

No, but he has resigned,

And  trails a pike now under  Tilly –

FITTON

For penance.

PENNYBOY JR

These will beget strange turns in Christendom! 25

 News of Spinola.

THOMAS

[Reading] And  Spinola is made general of the Jesuits.

PENNYBOY JR

Stranger!

FITTON

Sir, all are alike true and certain.

 The Fifth Monarchy uniting the ecclesiastical and secular power.

CYMBAL

All the  pretence to the  Fifth Monarchy

Was held but vain until the ecclesiastic

And secular powers were united thus, 30

Both in one person.

 A plot of the house of Austria..

FITTON

’T has been long the aim

Of the house of Austria.

CYMBAL

See but  Maximilian,

His letters to the Baron of  Bouttersheim,

Or Scheiterhuyssen.

FITTON

No, of  Liechtenstein –

Lord Paul, I think.

PENNYBOY JR

I have heard of some such thing. 35

Don Spinola made general of the Jesuits!

 More of Spinola.

 A priest!

CYMBAL

Oh, no, he is  dispensed withal,

And the whole Society, who do now appear

The only  engineers of Christendom –

PENNYBOY JR

They have been thought so long, and rightly too – 40

FITTON

Witness  the engine that they have presented him

To wind himself with up into the moon

And thence make all his discoveries!

CYMBAL

[To Tom Barber] Read on.

THOMAS

And  Vitellesco, he that was last general,

Being now turned cook to the Society, 45

Has dressed His Excellence such a dish of eggs –

 His eggs.

PENNYBOY JR

What, poached?

THOMAS

No,  powdered.

CYMBAL

All the yolk is  wildfire,

As he shall need beleaguer no more towns,

But throw his  egg in.

FITTON

It shall  clear consume

Palace and place, demolish and bear down 50

All strengths before it!

CYMBAL

Never be extinguished

Till all become one ruin!

 Galileo’s study.

FITTON

And from Florence –

THOMAS

They write was found in Galileo’s study

A  burning glass, which they have sent him, too,

To  fire any fleet that’s out at sea – 55

 The burning glass by moonshine.

CYMBAL

By  moonshine, is’t not so?

THOMAS

Yes, sir, i’the water.

PENNYBOY JR

His strengths will be unresistible, if this hold!

Ha’ you no news against him on the contrary?

NATHANIEL

 Yes,  sir, they write here, one   Corneliuson

 The Hollanders’ eel.

Hath made the Hollanders an invisible eel 60

To swim the haven at  Dunkirk and sink all

The shipping there.

PENNYBOY JR

Why ha’ not you this, Tom?

CYMBAL

 Because he keeps the pontificial  side.

 Pennyboy will have him change sides –

PENNYBOY JR

How? Change sides, Tom. ’Twas never in my thought

To put thee up against ourselves.  Come down, 65

Quickly.

CYMBAL

Why, sir?

PENNYBOY JR

I ventured not my money

Upon those terms. If he may change, why so.

I’ll ha’ him  keep his own side, sure.

FITTON

Why, let him.

 ’Tis but writing so much over again.

PENNYBOY JR

For that I’ll bear the charge: there’s two pieces. [Offering money] 70

FITTON

[To Cymbal] Come, do not  stick with the gentleman.

CYMBAL

I’ll take none, sir;

And yet he shall ha’ the place.

PENNYBOY JR

[Offering more money] They shall be ten, then. –

– though he pay for it.

Up, Tom; and th’office shall take ’em. Keep your side, Tom.

Know your own side; do not forsake your side, Tom.

[Tom Barber and the Clerk change desks.]

CYMBAL

[To Tom] Read.

THOMAS

They write here, one Corneliuson 75

Hath made the Hollanders an invisible eel

To swim the haven at Dunkirk and sink all

The shipping there.

PENNYBOY JR

But how is’t done?

CYMBAL

I’ll show you,  sir.

It is an  automa, runs underwater,

With a  snug nose, and has a nimble tail 80

Made like an auger, with which tail she wriggles

Betwixt the  coasts of a ship and sinks it straight.

PENNYBOY JR

Whence ha’ you this news?

FITTON

From a  right hand, I assure you:

The  eel boats here that lie before  Queenhithe

Came out of Holland.

PENNYBOY JR

A most  brave device 85

To murder their flat  bottoms!

FITTON

I do grant you.

But what if Spinola have a new project

 Spinola’s new project: an army in  cork shoes.

To bring an army over in cork shoes,

And land them, here, at  Harwich? All his horse

Are shod with cork, and fourscore pieces of  ordnance, 90

Mounted upon cork-carriages, with bladders

Instead of wheels to run the passage over

At a  spring tide.

PENNYBOY JR

Is’t true?

FITTON

As true as the rest.

PENNYBOY JR

He’ll never leave his  engines. I would hear now

Some  curious news.

CYMBAL

As what?

PENNYBOY JR

Magic, or alchemy, 95

Or flying i’the air, I care not what.

 Extraction of farts.

NATHANIEL

 [Reading] They write from Leipzig ( reverence to your ears)

The art of  drawing farts out of dead bodies

Is by the  Brotherhood of the  Rosy Cross

Produced unto perfection, in so sweet 100

And rich a tincture –

FITTON

As there is no princess

But may perfume her chamber with th’extraction.

PENNYBOY JR

[To Pecunia] There’s for you, princess.

CANTER

What, a fart for her?

PENNYBOY JR

I mean the spirit.

CANTER

Beware how she  resents it.

PENNYBOY JR

And what hast thou, Tom?

 The  perpetual motion.

THOMAS

[Reading] The perpetual motion 105

Is here found out by an  alewife in Saint Katherine’s

At the sign o’the Dancing Bears –

PENNYBOY JR

What, from her tap?

I’ll go see that, or else I’ll send old Canter.

He can make that  discovery.

CANTER

Yes, in ale.

 [Noise without.]

PENNYBOY JR

Let me have all this news  made up and sealed. 110

The Register offers him a room.

REGISTER

The people press upon us; please you, sir,

Withdraw with your fair princess. There’s a room

Within, sir, to retire to.

PENNYBOY JR

No, good Register.

We’ll  stand it out here and observe your office,

What news it issues.

 The office called the  House of Fame.

REGISTER

’Tis the House of Fame, sir, 115

Where both the  curious and the negligent,

The scrupulous and careless, wild and  staid,

The idle and laborious, all do meet

To taste the cornucopiae of her rumours,

Which  she, the mother of  sport, pleaseth to scatter 120

Among the vulgar. Baits, sir, for the people!

And they will bite like fishes.

PENNYBOY JR

Let’s see’t.

 [Enter] FIRST CUSTOMER:  [DOPPER,] a she-Anabaptist.

DOPPER

Ha’ you, in your profane shop, any news

O’the saints at Amsterdam?

REGISTER

Yes. How much would you?

DOPPER

Six pennyworth.

REGISTER

Lay your money down. [Dopper pays.] Read, Thomas. 125

  Prophet Baal expected in  Holland.

THOMAS

[Reading] The saints do write, they expect a prophet shortly,

The Prophet Baal, to be sent over to them

To calculate  a time, and half a time,

And the whole time, according to  Naometry.

PENNYBOY JR

What’s that?

THOMAS

The measuring o’the Temple. A  cabal 130

Found out but lately, and set out by  Archy,

Or some such  head, of whose long coat they have heard,

And, being  black, desire it.

  Archy mourned, then.

DOPPER

Peace be with them!

REGISTER

 So there had need, for they are still  by the ears

One with another.

DOPPER

It is their zeal.

REGISTER

Most likely. 135

DOPPER

Have you no other of that species?

REGISTER

Yes,

But dearer; it will cost you a shilling.

DOPPER

[Offering money] Verily,

There is a  ninepence; I will shed no more.

REGISTER

Not to the good o’the saints?

DOPPER

I am not sure

 That man is good.

REGISTER

[To Tom] Read, from Constantinople, 140

Nine penny’orth.

 The  Great Turk turned Christian.

THOMAS

[Reading] They give out here the grand Signor

Is certainly turned Christian, and, to clear

 The controversy ’twixt the Pope and him,

Which is the Antichrist, he means to visit

The church at Amsterdam this very summer, 145

And  quit all marks o’the Beast.

DOPPER

Now, joyful tidings!

Who brought in this? Which emissary?

REGISTER

 Buzz,

Your countryman.

DOPPER

Now, blessèd be the man,

And his whole  family, with the nation!

REGISTER

Yes, for  Amboyna, and the justice there! 150

[Aside to Tom] This is a  Dopper, a she-Anabaptist!

Seal and deliver her her news. Dispatch!

 [Enter] SECOND CUSTOMER. [Dopper steps aside to receive her parcel of news.]

SECOND CUSTOMER

Ha’ you any news from the Indies?  Any  miracles

Done in Japan by the Jesuits, or in China?

 A colony of cooks sent over to convert the  cannibals.

NATHANIEL

 No, but we hear of a colony of cooks 155

To be set ashore o’the coast of America

For the conversion of the cannibals,

And making them   good-eating  Christians.

Here comes the  colonel that undertakes it.

  [Enter] THIRD CUSTOMER, [accompanied] by Colonel LICKFINGER.

SECOND CUSTOMER

Who? Captain Lickfinger?

LICKFINGER

News, news, my boys! 160

I am to furnish a great feast today,

And I would have what news the office affords.

NATHANIEL

We were  venting some of you, of your new project –

REGISTER

Afore ’twas paid for. You were somewhat too hasty.

PENNYBOY JR

What,  Lickfinger, wilt thou convert the cannibals 165

With  spit-and-pan divinity?

LICKFINGER

Sir, for that

I will not urge, but for the fire and zeal

To  the true cause, thus I have undertaken:

With two lay-brethren  to myself, no more –

One o’the  broach, th’other o’the boiler – 170

In one six months, and by plain cookery,

No magic to’t, but old  Japhet’s physic

(The father of the European arts)

To make such sauces for the savages

And   cook their meats with those enticing steams 175

As it would make  our cannibal-Christians

Forbear the mutual eating one another,

Which they do do more cunningly than the wild

 Anthropophagi that snatch only strangers,

Like my old patron’s dogs there.

PENNYBOY JR

Oh, my uncle’s! 180

Is dinner ready, Lickfinger?

LICKFINGER

When you please, sir.

I was bespeaking but a parcel of news

To  strew out the long meal withal, but ’t seems

You are furnished here already.

PENNYBOY JR

Oh, not half!

LICKFINGER

What court news is there? Any proclamations 185

Or edicts to come forth?

THOMAS

Yes, there is one

That the King’s barber has got for aid of our trade,

Whereof there is a manifest decay:

 To let long hair run to seed, to sow bald pates.

 A precept for the wearing of long hair,

To run to seed, to sow bald pates withal, 190

And the preserving fruitful heads and chins,

To help a  mystery, almost antiquated.

Such as are  bald and barren beyond hope

Are to be separated and set by

For ushers to old countesses –

LICKFINGER

And coachmen 195

To mount their boxes, reverently, and drive

 Like lapwings with a shell  upon their heads

Thorough the streets. Ha’ you no news o’the stage?

They’ll ask me  about new plays at dinnertime,

And I should be  as dumb as a fish.

  Spalato’s legacy to the players.

THOMAS

Oh, yes! 200

There is a legacy left to the  King’s Players,

Both for their various shifting of their scene

And dext’rous change o’their persons to all shapes

And all disguises, by the right reverend

Archbishop of Spalato.

LICKFINGER

 He is dead 205

That played him!

THOMAS

Then he’s lost his share o’the legacy.

LICKFINGER

What news of Gondomar?

  Gondomar’s use of the Game at Chess, or play so-called.

THOMAS

 A second fistula,

Or an  excoriation, at the least,

For putting the poor English play was writ of him

To such a sordid use, as is said he did, 210

Of cleansing his posteriors.

LICKFINGER

Justice! Justice!

THOMAS

Since when he lives condemned to  his  chair at Brussels,

And there sits filing certain  politic hinges

To hang the  states on  he’s heaved off the  hooks.

LICKFINGER

 What must you have for these?

PENNYBOY JR

Thou shalt pay nothing, 215

 But reckon ’em in i’the bill. There’s twenty pieces

He gives twenty pieces to the office.

Her Grace bestows upon the office, Tom;

Write thou  that down for news.

REGISTER

We may well do’t;

We have not many such.

PENNYBOY JR

 (Doubles it) There’s twenty more,

If you say so. My  princess is a princess! 220

And put that, too, under the office seal.

 Cymbal takes Pecunia aside, [and] courts and woos her to the office.

CYMBAL

If it will please Your Grace to sojourn here

And take my roof for  covert, you shall know

The  rites belonging to your blood and birth,

Which few can apprehend. These sordid servants, 225

Which rather are your keepers than attendants,

Should not come near your presence. I would have

You waited on by ladies, and your train

Borne up by persons of quality and honour.

Your  meat should be served in with  curious dances, 230

And set upon the board with virgin hands

Tuned to their voices; not a dish removed

But to the music, nor a drop of wine

Mixed with  his water without harmony.

PECUNIA

You  are a courtier, sir, or somewhat more, 235

That have this tempting language.

CYMBAL

I’m your servant,

 Excellent princess, and would ha’ you appear

That which you are. Come forth,  state and wonder

Of these our times.  Dazzle the  vulgar eyes

And strike the people blind with admiration! 240

CANTER

[Aside] Why, that’s the  end of wealth! Thrust riches outward,

And remain beggars within;  contemplate nothing

But the vile sordid things of time, place, money,

And let the noble and the precious go.

Virtue and honesty – hang ’em, poor thin  membranes 245

Of honour, who respects them? Oh, the Fates!

How hath all just, true reputation fall’n

Since money, this base money,  ’gan to have any!

 Fitton hath been courting the waiting-women this while, and is jeered by them.

BAND

 Pity the gentleman is not immortal!

WAX

As he gives out, the place is, by description – 250

FITTON

A very paradise, if you saw all, lady.

WAX

I  am the chambermaid, sir; you mistake.

My lady may see all.

FITTON

Sweet Mistress Statute, gentle Mistress Band,

And Mother Mortgage, do but get Her Grace 255

To sojourn here. –

PICKLOCK

 I thank you, gentle Wax.

MORTGAGE

 If it were a chattel, I would try my credit.

PICKLOCK

So it is, for  term of life; we count it so.

STATUTE

She means inheritance to him and his heirs,

Or that he could assure a  state of years; 260

I’ll be his  Statute-Staple, Statute-Merchant,

Or what he please.

PICKLOCK

He can expect no more.

BAND

 His cousin, Alderman Security,

That he did talk of so, e’en now –

STATUTE

Who is

The very  brooch o’the bench, gem o’the city – 265

BAND

 He and his deputy but assure his life

For one seven years.

STATUTE

And see what we’ll do for him,

Upon his  scarlet motion –

BAND

And old Chain,

That  draws the City ears –

WAX

When he says nothing,

But  twirls it thus.

STATUTE

A  moving oratory! 270

BAND

Dumb rhetoric and silent eloquence,

As the  fine poet says.

FITTON

Come, they all scorn us,

Do you not see’t? The  family of scorn!

BROKER

Do not believe him! – Gentle Master Picklock,

They understood you not. The gentlewomen, 275

They thought you would ha’ my lady sojourn with you,

And you desire but now and then a visit?

PICKLOCK

 Yes, if she pleased, sir, it would  much advance

Unto the office, her continual residence!

I speak but as a member.

BROKER

’Tis enough. 280

 [Aside to Picklock] I apprehend you. And it shall go hard

But I’ll so work as somebody shall work her.

PICKLOCK

[To Broker] Pray you,  change with our master but a word about it.

[They step aside.]

PENNYBOY JR

Well, Lickfinger, see that our  meat be ready;

Thou hast news enough.

LICKFINGER

Something of  Bethlem Gabor, 285

And then I’m gone.

 Beth’lem Gabor’s drum.

THOMAS

[Reading] We hear he has devised

 A drum to fill all Christendom with the sound,

But that he cannot draw his forces near it

To march yet, for the violence of the noise.

And therefore he is fain by a design 290

To carry ’em  in the air and at some distance

Till he be  married; then they shall appear.

LICKFINGER

Or never. Well, God b’wi’you. [Leaving.] Stay, who’s here?

[Enter two more CUSTOMERS.]

[To the Clerk, Nathaniel] A little of the Duke of  Bavier, and then –

 The Duke of Bavier.

NATHANIEL

 He’s taken a  grey habit, and is turned 295

The church’s miller, grinds the Catholic grist

With every wind; and  Tilly takes the toll.

FOURTH CUSTOMER

 Ha’ you any news o’the pageants to send down

Into the several counties? All the country

Expected from the city most brave speeches 300

Now at the coronation.

 The pageants.

LICKFINGER

 It expected

More than it understood, for they stand mute,

Poor, innocent, dumb things. They are  but wood,

As is the bench and blocks they were wrought on, yet

If  May Day come, and the sun shine, perhaps 305

They’ll sing like  Memnon’s statue and be vocal.

FIFTH CUSTOMER

Ha’ you any forest news?

 The new park in the Forest of Fools.

THOMAS

None very wild, sir.

Some  fame there is out o’the  Forest of Fools:

A new park is a-making there, to sever

 Cuckolds of antler from the  rascals. Such 310

Whose wives are dead and have since cast their  heads

Shall remain  cuckolds-pollard.

LICKFINGER

I’ll ha’ that news.

DOPPER

And I.

SECOND CUSTOMER

And I.

THIRD CUSTOMER

And I.

FOURTH CUSTOMER

And I.

FIFTH CUSTOMER

And I.

 Pennyboy [Junior] would invite the Master of the Office [to dine].

CYMBAL

Sir, I desire to be excused; and, madam,

I cannot leave my office the first day. 315

My cousin Fitton here shall wait upon you,

And emissary Picklock.

PENNYBOY JR

And Tom Clericus?

CYMBAL

I cannot spare him yet, but he shall follow you

When they have  ordered the rolls. [To the clerks] Shut up th’office,

When you ha’ done, till two o’clock. 320[Exeunt all but the clerks.]

3.3   [Enter] SHUNFIELD, ALMANAC, [and] MADRIGAL.

  The Jeerers.

SHUNFIELD

 By your leave, clerks, where shall we dine today?

Do you know?

ALMANAC

Where’s my fellow, Fitton?

THOMAS

New gone forth.

SHUNFIELD

Cannot your office tell us what brave fellows

Do eat together today in town, and where?

THOMAS

Yes, there’s a gentleman, the brave heir, young Pennyboy, 5

Dines in  Apollo.

MADRIGAL

Come, let’s thither, then.

I ha’ supped in Apollo.

ALMANAC

With the  muses?

MADRIGAL

No,

But with two gentlewomen called the Graces.

ALMANAC

They were ever three in poetry.

MADRIGAL

This was truth, sir.

THOMAS

Sir, Master Fitton’s there, too.

SHUNFIELD

All the better. 10

ALMANAC

We may have a jeer, perhaps.

SHUNFIELD

Yes, you’ll drink, doctor,

(If there be any good meat) as much good wine now

As would lay up a  Dutch ambassador.

THOMAS

If he dine there, he’s sure to have good meat,

For Lickfinger provides the dinner.

ALMANAC

Who? 15

The glory o’the kitchen,  that holds cookery

A trade from Adam,  quotes his broths and salads,

And swears  he’s not dead yet, but  translated

In some immortal crust, the paste of almonds?

MADRIGAL

The same.  He holds no man can be a poet 20

That is not a good cook, to know the palates

And several tastes o’the time. He  draws all arts

Out of the kitchen but the art of poetry,

Which he concludes the same with cookery.

SHUNFIELD

Tut, he maintains more heresies than that. 25

He’ll draw  the magisterium from a minced pie,

And prefer jellies to your  juleps, doctor.

ALMANAC

 I was at an  olla podrida of his making,

Was a brave piece of cookery, at a funeral.

But opening the pot-lid, he made us laugh 30

Who’d wept all day, and sent us such a tickling

Into our nostrils as the funeral feast

Had been a wedding dinner.

SHUNFIELD

Gi’ him allowance,

And that but moderate, he will make a  Siren

Sing i’the kettle, send in an Arion, 35

In a brave broth and of a wat’ry green,

Just the sea colour, mounted on the back

Of a grown  conger, but in such a posture

As all the world would take him for a dolphin.

MADRIGAL

He’s a  rare fellow, without question. But 40

He holds some  paradoxes.

ALMANAC

Ay, and  pseudodoxes.

Marry, for most, he’s orthodox i’the kitchen.

MADRIGAL

And knows the clergy’s taste.

ALMANAC

Ay, and the laity’s.

SHUNFIELD

You think not o’your time. We’ll come too late

If we go not presently.

MADRIGAL

Away, then.

SHUNFIELD

[To the clerks] Sirs, 45

You must get  o’this news to  store your office,

Who dines and sups i’the town, where, and with whom.

’Twill be beneficial, when you are stored;

And as we like our fare we shall reward you.

[Exeunt Madrigal, Almanac, and Shunfield.]

NATHANIEL

 A hungry trade ’twill be.

THOMAS

Much like  Duke Humphrey’s; 50

But, now and then, as th’wholesome proverb says,

’Twill  obsonare famem ambulando.

NATHANIEL

Shut up the office, gentle brother Thomas.

THOMAS

Brother Nathaniel,  I ha’ the wine for you.

I hope to see us, one day, emissaries. 55

NATHANIEL

Why not? ’Slid, I despair not to be Master! [Exeunt.]

3.4    [Enter] PENNYBOY SENIOR [and] BROKER [at different doors].

PENNYBOY SR

  (He is started with Broker’s coming back.) How now? I think I was

born under  Hercules’ star!

Nothing but trouble and tumult to oppress me?

Why come you back? Where is your  charge?

BROKER

I ha’ brought

A gentleman to speak with you.

PENNYBOY SR

To speak with me?

 You know ’tis death for me to speak with any man. 5

What is he? Set me a chair.

BROKER

[Bringing a chair] He’s the master

Of the great office.

PENNYBOY SR

What?

BROKER

The Staple of News,

A mighty thing. They  talk six thousand a year.

PENNYBOY SR

Well, bring your six in. Where ha’ you left Pecunia?

BROKER

Sir, in Apollo. They are scarce set.

PENNYBOY SR

Bring six. 10

 [Broker exits and returns with CYMBAL.]

BROKER

Here is the gentleman.

PENNYBOY SR

He must pardon me.

I cannot rise, a diseased man.

CYMBAL

By no means, sir.

Respect your health and ease.

PENNYBOY SR

It is no pride in me,

But  pain, pain! What’s your errand, sir, to me?

 He sends Broker back.

Broker, return to your charge;  be Argus-eyed; 15

Awake to the affair you have in hand;

Serve in Apollo, but take heed of  Bacchus. [Exit Broker.]

Go on, sir.

CYMBAL

I am come to speak with you.

PENNYBOY SR

’Tis pain for me to speak, a very death,

But I will hear you.

CYMBAL

Sir, you have a lady 20

That sojourns with you.

PENNYBOY SR

 (He pretends infirmity.) Ha? I am somewhat short

In my  sense, too –

CYMBAL

Pecunia.

PENNYBOY SR

 [Pointing to his ear] O’ that side,

Very imperfect, on –

CYMBAL

Whom I would draw

Oft’ner to a poor office I am master of –

PENNYBOY SR

My hearing is very dead; you must speak  quicker. 25

CYMBAL

Or, if it please you, sir, to let her sojourn

In part with me, I have a  moiety

We will divide, half of the profits.

PENNYBOY SR

Ha?

I hear you better now. How come they in?

Is it a  certain business, or a casual? 30

For I am loath to seek out doubtful courses,

Run any hazardous  paths. I love straight ways,

A just, and upright man! Now all trade totters.

The trade of money is fall’n,  two i’the hundred,

That was a certain trade while th’age was thrifty 35

And men good  husbands, looked unto their  stocks,

Had their minds bounded. Now the public riot

Prostitutes all,  scatters away in coaches,

In footmen’s coats and waiting-women’s gowns.

They must have velvet  haunches –  with a pox – 40

Now  taken up, and yet not pay the  use.

 He talks vehemently and aloud.

 Bate of the use? I am mad with this time’s manners.

CYMBAL

You said e’en now it was death for you to speak.

PENNYBOY SR

Ay, but an anger, a just anger, as this is

Puts life in man.  Who can endure to see 45

The fury of men’s gullets and their groins?

What fires, what cooks, what  kitchens might be spared?

 [He] is moved more and more.

What  stews, ponds, parks, coops, garners,  magazines?

What velvets,   tissues, scarves, embroideries,

And laces they might lack? They covet  things 50

Superfluous still, when it were much more honour

They could  want necessary! What need hath Nature

Of silver dishes or  gold chamberpots,

Of perfumed  napkins, or a numerous  family

To  see her eat?  Poor and wise, she requires 55

Meat only. Hunger is not ambitious.

Say that you were the emperor of pleasures,

The great dictator of fashions for all Europe,

And had the pomp of all the courts and kingdoms

 Laid forth unto the show to make yourself 60

Gazed and admired at? You must go to bed

And take your natural rest; then, all  this vanisheth.

Your  bravery was but shown; ’twas not possessed.

While it did boast itself, it was then perishing.

CYMBAL

[Aside] This man has  healthful lungs.

PENNYBOY SR

All that excess 65

Appeared as little yours as the spectators’.

It scarce fills up the expectation

Of a few hours that  entertains men’s lives.

CYMBAL

[Aside] He has the  monopoly of sole-speaking.

 (He is angry.) Why, good sir, you talk all!

PENNYBOY SR

Why should I not? 70

Is it not under mine own roof, my ceiling?

CYMBAL

But I came  here to talk with you.

PENNYBOY SR

Why,  an I will not

Talk with you, sir, you are answered. Who sent for you?

CYMBAL

Nobody sent for me –

PENNYBOY SR

But you came.

 [He] bids him get out of his house.

Why, then,

Go as you came; here’s no man holds you. There, 75

There lies your way. You see the door.

CYMBAL

This’s strange!

PENNYBOY SR

’Tis my  civility, when I do not relish

The party or his business. Pray you, be gone, sir.

I’ll ha’ no  venture in your ship, the office,

Your  bark of six,  if ’twere sixteen, good sir. 80

CYMBAL

(Rails at him.) You are a rogue!

PENNYBOY SR

I think I am, sir, truly.

CYMBAL

A rascal and a money-bawd!

PENNYBOY SR

My surnames.

CYMBAL

A wretched rascal!

PENNYBOY SR

You will  overflow

And spill all.

CYMBAL

 (He jeers him.)  Caterpillar, moth,

Horse-leech, and dung-worm –

PENNYBOY SR

Still you lose your labour. 85

I am a broken vessel, all runs out:

A shrunk old  dryfat. Fare you well, good six.  [Exeunt.]

THE THIRD INTERMEAN AFTER THE THIRD ACT

CENSURE

A notable tough rascal, this old Pennyboy! Right city-bred!

MIRTH

In  Silver Street, the region of money, a good  seat for a usurer.

TATTLE

He has rich ingredients in him, I warrant you, if they were extracted; a

true  receipt to make an alderman, an he were well wrought upon according

to art. 5

EXPECTATION

I would fain see an alderman  in chimia! That is a treatise of

 aldermanity truly written.

CENSURE

To show how much it differs from urbanity.

MIRTH

Ay, or humanity. Either would appear in this Pennyboy, an he were

rightly  distilled. But how like you the news? You  are gone from that. 10

CENSURE

Oh, they are monstrous, scurvy, and stale! And too  exotic! Ill-cooked

and ill-dished!

EXPECTATION

They were as good yet as butter could make them!

TATTLE

In a word, they were beastly buttered! He shall never  come o’my bread

more, nor  in my mouth, if I can help it. I have had better news from the  bake- 15

house by ten thousand parts in a morning, or the  conduits in Westminster,

all the news of Tuttle Street and both the  Alm’ries,  the two Sanctuaries, Long

and Round Woolstaple – with   King Street and  Cannon Row to boot!

MIRTH

Ay, my gossip Tattle knew what fine  slips grew in  Gardiner’s Lane, who

kissed the butcher’s wife with the cow’s breath, what matches were made in 20

the  Bowling Alley and what bets won and lost, how much grist went to the

mill and what besides, who conjured in Tuttle Fields and  how many, when

they never came there, and which boy rode upon Doctor Lamb in the likeness

of a roaring lion that run away with him in his teeth and has not devoured

him yet. 25

TATTLE

Why, I had it from my maid, Joan Hearsay, and she had it from a  limb

o’ the school, she says, a little limb of nine year old, who told her the master

left out his conjuring book one day, and he found it, and so the fable came

about. But whether it were true or no, we gossips are bound to believe it,

an’t be once out and afoot. How should we entertain the time else, or find 30

ourselves in fashionable discourse for all companies, if we do not credit all

and make more of it in the reporting?

CENSURE

For my part, I believe it.  An there were no wiser than I, I would

have ne’er a cunning schoolmaster in England – I mean a  cunning man, a

schoolmaster, that is a conjurer, or a poet, or that had any acquaintance with 35

a poet. They make all their scholars  playboys! Is’t not a fine sight to see all our

children made interluders? Do we pay our money for this? We send them to

learn their grammar and their  Terence, and they learn their play-books? Well,

they talk we shall have  no more parliaments, God bless us, but an we have, I

hope  Zeal-of-the-land Busy and my  gossip Rabbi Troubletruth will start up

and see we shall have  painful good ministers to keep school and catechize

our youth, and not teach ’em to speak plays and act fables of false news in

this manner, to the super-vexation of town and country,  with a wanion.

4.1    [Enter] PENNYBOY JUNIOR, FITTON, SHUNFIELD, ALMANAC, MADRIGAL, [PENNYBOY] CANTER, [and] PICKLOCK.

PENNYBOY JR

Come, gentlemen, let’s  breathe from healths awhile.

This Lickfinger has made us a good  dinner

For our Pecunia. What shall’s do with ourselves

While the women  water and the fiddlers eat?

FITTON

Let’s  jeer a little.

PENNYBOY JR

Jeer? What’s that?

SHUNFIELD

 Expect, sir. 5

ALMANAC

We first begin with ourselves, and then at you.

SHUNFIELD

A game we  use.

MADRIGAL

We jeer all kind of persons

We meet  withal, of any rank or quality,

And if we cannot jeer them, we jeer ourselves.

CANTER

A pretty sweet society, and a  grateful! 10

PICKLOCK

Pray, let’s see some.

SHUNFIELD

 Have at you then, lawyer.

They say there was one of your  coat in  Bedlam lately –

ALMANAC

I wonder all his clients were not there.

MADRIGAL

They were the madder sort.

PICKLOCK

Except, sir, one

Like you, and he made verses.

FITTON

Madrigal, 15

A jeer.

MADRIGAL

I know.

SHUNFIELD

[To Picklock] But what did you do, lawyer,

When you made love to Mistress Band at dinner?

MADRIGAL

Why,  of an advocate, he grew the client.

PENNYBOY JR

Well played, my poet!

MADRIGAL

And showed the  law of nature

Was there above the common law.

SHUNFIELD

 Quit, quit! 20

PENNYBOY JR

Call you this jeering? I can play at this;

’Tis like a ball at tennis.

FITTON

Very like,

But we were not well in.

ALMANAC

’Tis indeed, sir,

When we do speak at volley all the ill

We can one of another –

SHUNFIELD

As this morning 25

(I would you had heard us) of the rogue your uncle –

ALMANAC

That money-bawd –

MADRIGAL

We called him a  coat-card

O’the  last order.

PENNYBOY JR

What’s that? A knave?

MADRIGAL

Some  readings have it so. My manuscript

Doth speak it,  ‘varlet’.

CANTER

And yourself a fool 30

O’the first rank, and one  shall have the leading

O’ the right-hand file under this brave commander.

PENNYBOY JR

What say’st thou, Canter?

CANTER

Sir, I say this is

A very wholesome exercise, and comely –

Like lepers showing one another their scabs, 35

Or flies feeding on ulcers.

PENNYBOY JR

What news, gentlemen?

Ha’ you any news for after dinner? Methinks

We should not spend our time unprofitably.

CANTER

They never lie, sir, between meals;  ’gainst supper

You may have a  bale or two brought in.

FITTON

[Aside to the other Jeerers] This canter 40

Is an old envious knave!

ALMANAC

A very rascal!

FITTON

I ha’ marked him all this meal: he has done nothing

But mock, with  scurvy faces, all we said.

ALMANAC

A supercilious rogue! He looks as if

He were the  patrico –

MADRIGAL

Or  archpriest o’ canters. 45

SHUNFIELD

He’s some  primate metropolitan rascal,

Our  shot-clog makes so much of him.

ALMANAC

The law

And he does govern him.

PENNYBOY JR

What say you, gentlemen?

FITTON

We say, we wonder not your man o’law

Should be  so gracious wi’ you; but how it comes, 50

This rogue, this canter?

PENNYBOY JR

Oh,  good words.

FITTON

A fellow

That speaks no language –

ALMANAC

 But what  jingling gypsies

And peddlers trade in –

FITTON

And no honest Christian

Can understand –

CANTER

 (He speaks to all the Jeerers.) Why, by that argument

You all are canters – you, and you, and you; 55

All the whole world are canters. I will prove it

In your professions.

PENNYBOY JR

I would fain hear this.

But stay, my princess comes.  Provide the while;

I’ll call for’t anon. [To Pecunia] How fares Your Grace?

4.2  [Enter] LICKFINGER, PECUNIA, STATUTE, BAND, WAX, [and MORTGAGE] to them.

LICKFINGER

I hope the fare was good.

PECUNIA

Yes, Lickfinger,

And we shall thank you for’t and reward you.

 Lickfinger is challenged by Madrigal  of an argument.

MADRIGAL

Nay, I’ll not lose my argument, Lickfinger.

Before these   gentlewomen, I  affirm

 The perfect and true strain of poetry 5

Is rather to be given the quick cellar

Than the fat kitchen.

LICKFINGER

Heretic, I see

Thou art for the vain  Oracle of the Bottle.

The hogshead,  Trismegistus, is thy  Pegasus.

Thence flows thy Muse’s spring, from that hard hoof. 10

Seducèd poet, I do say to thee,

A boiler, range, and  dresser were the fountains

Of all the knowledge in the universe,

And they’re the kitchens, where the master cook –

Thou dost not know the man, nor canst thou know him, 15

Till thou hast served some years in that deep school

That’s both the nurse and mother of the arts,

And hear’st him read, interpret, and demonstrate! –

A master cook! Why, he’s the  man o’ men

For a  professor! He designs, he draws, 20

He paints, he carves, he  builds, he fortifies,

Makes citadels of  curious fowl and fish:

Some he   dry-ditches, some moats round with broths,

 Mounts marrowbones, cuts  fifty-angled custards,

Rears  bulwark pies, and for his  outerworks 25

He raiseth  ramparts of immortal crust,

And teacheth all the tactics at one dinner:

What ranks, what files to put his dishes in –

The whole art military. Then, he knows

The  influence of the stars upon his meats, 30

And all  their seasons, tempers, qualities,

And,  so to fit his relishes and sauces,

He has Nature in a pot ’bove all the  chemists

Or airy brethren of the   Rosy Cross.

He is an architect, an engineer, 35

A soldier, a physician, a philosopher,

A general mathematician.

MADRIGAL

It is granted.

LICKFINGER

And that you may not doubt him for a poet –

ALMANAC

This  fury shows, if there were nothing else,

And ’tis divine! I shall for ever hereafter 40

Admire the wisdom of a cook.

BAND

And we, sir!

 Pennyboy is courting his princess all the while.

PENNYBOY JR

Oh, how my princess draws me with her looks

And hales me in, as eddies draw in boats

Or strong  Charybdis ships that sail too near

The  shelves of love! The tides of your two eyes, 45

Wind of your breath, are such as suck in all

That do approach you!

PECUNIA

Who hath changed my servant?

PENNYBOY JR

Yourself, who drink my blood up with your beams

As doth the sun the sea!  Pecunia shines

More in the world than  he, and makes it spring 50

Where’er she favours! Please her but to show

Her melting  wrists, or bare her ivory hands,

She catches still! Her smiles, they are Love’s fetters!

Her breasts, his apples! Her teats,  strawberries,

Where Cupid, were he present now, would cry, 55

‘Farewell, my mother’s milk; here’s sweeter nectar!’

[To the others] Help me to praise Pecunia, gentlemen.

She’s your princess; lend your wits.

 They all begin the encomium of Pecunia.

FITTON

A lady

The  Graces taught to move!

ALMANAC

The  Hours did nurse!

FITTON

Whose lips are the instructions of all lovers! 60

ALMANAC

Her eyes their lights, and rivals to the stars!

FITTON

A voice  as  if that Harmony still spake!

ALMANAC

And polished skin whiter than Venus’ foot!

FITTON

Young  Hebe’s neck or  Juno’s arms!

ALMANAC

 A hair

Large as the Morning’s, and her breath as sweet 65

As meadows after rain and but new mown!

FITTON

 Leda might yield unto her, for a face!

ALMANAC

 Hermione, for breasts!

FITTON

 Flora, for cheeks!

ALMANAC

And Helen, for a mouth!

PENNYBOY JR

Kiss, kiss ’em, princess.

 She kisseth them.

FITTON

The pearl doth strive in whiteness with her neck, 70

ALMANAC

But loseth by it. Here the snow thaws snow;

One frost  resolves another!

FITTON

Oh, she has

 A front too slippery to be looked upon!

ALMANAC

And glances that beguile the seer’s eyes!

PENNYBOY JR

Kiss, kiss again.

 [She kisseth them]  again.

What says my man o’war? 75

SHUNFIELD

I say she’s more than Fame can promise of her.

 A theme that’s overcome with her own matter!

Praise is struck blind and deaf and dumb with her;

She doth astonish commendation!

PENNYBOY JR

Well pumped, i’faith, old sailor. – Kiss him, too, 80

Though he be a  slug.

 She kisseth Captain Shunfield.

[To Madrigal] What says my  poet-sucker?

He’s chewing his muse’s cud, I do see by him.

MADRIGAL

I have almost done; I want but e’en to finish.

FITTON

That’s the ill luck of all his works still.

PENNYBOY JR

What?

FITTON

To begin many works, but finish none. 85

PENNYBOY JR

How does he do his mistress’ work?

FITTON

Imperfect.

ALMANAC

I cannot think he finisheth that.

PENNYBOY JR

[To Magrigal] Let’s hear.

MADRIGAL

It is a madrigal. I  affect that kind

Of poem much.

PENNYBOY JR

And thence you ha’ the name.

FITTON

It is  his rose. He can make nothing else. 90

MADRIGAL

I made it to the tune the fiddlers played

That we all liked so well.

PENNYBOY JR

Good. Read it, read it.

MADRIGAL

The  sun is father of all metals, you know,

Silver and gold –

PENNYBOY JR

Ay, leave your prologues; say!

Song

MADRIGAL

As bright as is the Sun, her sire, 95

Or Earth, her   mother, in her best attire,

Or Mint, the midwife, with her fire,

Comes forth Her Grace!

PENNYBOY JR

 That ‘Mint, the midwife’ does well.

MADRIGAL

The splendour of the wealthiest mines! 100

The stamp and strength of all imperial  lines,

Both majesty and beauty shines

In her sweet face!

FITTON

  That’s fairly said of money.

MADRIGAL

  Look how a torch of taper light, 105

Or of that torch’s flame, a beacon bright –

PENNYBOY JR

 Good!

MADRIGAL

Now, there I want a line to finish, sir.

PENNYBOY JR

Or of that beacon’s fire, moonlight –

MADRIGAL

So takes she place! 110

FITTON

 ’Tis good.

MADRIGAL

And then  I have a  saraband:

She makes good cheer, she keeps full  boards,

She holds a fair of knights and lords,

A market of all offices, 115

And shops of honour, more or less.

According to Pecunia’s grace,

The bride hath beauty, blood, and place,

The bridegroom virtue, valour, wit,

And wisdom, as he stands for it. 120

PENNYBOY JR

  Call in the fiddlers. Nick, the boy, shall sing it.

 He [Pennyboy Junior] urgeth her [Pecunia] to kiss them all.

Sweet princess, kiss him. Kiss ’em all, dear madam;

And, at the close, vouchsafe to call them cousins.

PECUNIA

[Kissing them in turn] Sweet cousin Madrigal, and cousin Fitton,

My cousin Shunfield, and my learnèd cousin – 125

CANTER

 [Aside]  Al-manach, though they call him Almanac.

PICKLOCK

 [Aside] Why, here’s the prodigal  prostitutes his mistress!

PENNYBOY JR

And Picklock, he must be a kinsman too.

My man o’law will teach us all to  win

And keep our own. [To Canter] Old founder –

CANTER

 Nothing, I, sir? 130

I am a wretch, a beggar. She, the fortunate,

Can  want no kindred; we, the poor, know none.

FITTON

Nor none shall know,  by my consent.

ALMANAC

Nor mine.

[Enter FIDDLERS, and NICK, the boy singer.]

PENNYBOY JR

Sing, boy. Stand here.

 The boy sings the song. [The guests dance.]

CANTER

[Aside] Look, look, how all their eyes

Dance i’their heads – observe –  scattered with lust 135

At sight o’their brave idol! How they are tickled

With a light air, the bawdy  saraband!

They are a kind of  dancing engines all,

And set by nature thus to run alone

To every sound! All things within,  without them 140

Move but their brain, and that stands still! Mere monsters

Here, in a chamber, of most subtle feet!

And  make their legs in tune,  passing the streets!

These are the gallant spirits o’the age,

The miracles o’the time, that can  cry up 145

And down men’s wits and set what rate on things

Their half-brained fancies please. Now, pox upon ’em!

See how  solicitously he learns the jig,

As if it were a  mystery of his faith!

 They are all struck with admiration.

SHUNFIELD

A  dainty ditty!

FITTON

Oh, he’s a dainty poet 150

When he sets to’t.

PENNYBOY JR

And a dainty scholar.

ALMANAC

No, no great scholar; he  writes like a gentleman.

SHUNFIELD

Pox o’your scholar!

CANTER

[Aside] Pox o’your distinction!

As if a scholar were no gentleman.

With these, to write like a gentleman will in time 155

Become all one as to write like an ass.

These  gentlemen? These rascals! I am sick

Of indignation at ’em.

PENNYBOY JR

[To Fitton] How do you like’t, sir?

FITTON

’Tis excellent!

ALMANAC

’Twas excellently sung!

FITTON

A dainty air!

PENNYBOY JR

What says my Lickfinger? 160

LICKFINGER

I am telling Mistress Band and Mistress Statute

What a  brave  gentleman you are, and Wax here.

How much ’twere better that My Lady’s Grace

Would here  take up, sir, and keep house with you.

PENNYBOY JR

What say they?

STATUTE

We could consent, sir, willingly. 165

BAND

Ay, if we knew Her Grace had the least liking.

WAX

We must obey Her Grace’s will and pleasure.

PENNYBOY JR

I thank you, gentlewomen. – Ply ’em, Lickfinger.

Give Mother Mortgage, there –

LICKFINGER

Her  dose of  sack.

I have it for her, and her  distance of hum. 170

 [Lickfinger serves wine all around.] The gallants are all about Pecunia.

PECUNIA

Indeed, therein I must confess, dear cousin,

I am a most unfortunate princess.

ALMANAC

And

You still will be so, when Your Grace may help it.

MADRIGAL

Who’d lie in a room, with a  close-stool and  garlic,

And kennel with his dogs, that had a prince 175

Like this young Pennyboy to sojourn with?

SHUNFIELD

He’ll let you ha’ your liberty –

ALMANAC

Go forth

Whither you please, and to what company –

MADRIGAL

 Scatter yourself amongst us –

PENNYBOY JR

[To Madrigal] Hope of  Parnassus!

Thy  ivy shall not wither, nor thy bays. 180

Thou shalt be had into Her Grace’s cellar,

And there know sack and claret  all December.

Thy  vein is rich, and we must cherish it.

Poets and bees swarm nowadays, but yet

There are not those good taverns for the one sort 185

As there are flow’ry fields to feed the other.

Though bees be pleased with dew – ask little Wax

That brings the honey to her lady’s hive –

 The poet must have wine. And he shall have it.

4.3   [Enter] PENNYBOY SENIOR.

PENNYBOY SR

Broker! What, Broker!

PENNYBOY JR

Who’s that? My uncle!

PENNYBOY SR

I am abused. Where is my knave, my Broker?

LICKFINGER

[Pointing offstage] Your Broker is laid out upon a bench, yonder.

Sack hath seized on him, in the shape of sleep.

PICKLOCK

He hath been dead to us  almost this hour. 5

PENNYBOY SR

This hour?

CANTER

Why sigh you, sir? ’Cause he’s at rest?

PENNYBOY SR

It breeds my unrest.

LICKFINGER

[Offering drink] Will you take a cup

And try if you can sleep?

PENNYBOY SR

No,  cogging jack,

Thou, and thy cups too, perish!

 He strikes the sack out of his hand.

SHUNFIELD

Oh, the sack!

MADRIGAL

The sack, the sack!

CANTER

A madrigal on sack! 10

PICKLOCK

Or rather an elegy, for the sack is gone.

PECUNIA

Why do you this, sir – spill the wine, and rave?

For Broker’s sleeping?

PENNYBOY SR

What? Through sleep and sack

My trust is wronged.

 He [Pennyboy Senior] would have Pecunia home.

But I am still awake

To wait upon Your Grace. Please you to quit 15

This strange,  lewd company; they are not for you.

But she [Pecunia] refuseth.

PECUNIA

No, guardian,  I do like them very well.

PENNYBOY SR

Your Grace’s pleasure be observed, but you,

Statute, and Band, and Wax, will go with me.

And her Train [also refuseth].

STATUTE

 Truly, we will not.

BAND

We will stay and wait here 20

Upon Her Grace, and this your noble kinsman.

PENNYBOY SR

Noble! How noble? Who hath made him noble?

PENNYBOY JR

Why, my most noble  money hath, or shall –

My princess, here. She that, had you but kept

And treated kindly, would have made you noble 25

 And wise, too; nay, perhaps have done that for you

An Act of Parliament could not: made you honest.

The truth is, uncle, that Her Grace dislikes

Her entertainment, specially her lodging.

PECUNIA

Nay, say her jail.  Never unfortunate princess 30

Was used so by a jailer. Ask my women. –

Band, you can tell, and Statute, how he has used me,

Kept me close prisoner, under twenty bolts –

STATUTE

And forty padlocks –

BAND

All malicious engines

A wicked smith could forge out of his iron, 35

As locks and keys, shackles and manacles,

To torture a great lady.

STATUTE

He’s abused

Your Grace’s body.

PECUNIA

No, he would ha’ done;

That lay  not in his power. He had the use

Of  your bodies, Band, and Wax, and sometimes Statute’s. 40

But once he would ha’ smothered me in a chest

And strangled me in leather, but that you

Came to my rescue, then, and gave me air.

STATUTE

For which he crammed us up in a close box,

All three together, where we saw no sun 45

In one six-months.

WAX

A cruel man he is!

BAND

He’s left my fellow Wax out i’the cold –

STATUTE

Till she was stiff as any frost, and crumbled

Away to dust, and almost lost her  form.

WAX

Much ado to recover me.

PENNYBOY SR

Women jeerers! 50

Have you learned, too, the subtle faculty?

Come, I’ll show you the way home, if drink

Or too full diet have  disguised you.

BAND

Troth,

We have not any mind, sir, of return –

STATUTE

To be bound back to back –

BAND

And have  our legs 55

Turned in, or writhed about –

WAX

Or else displayed –

STATUTE

Be lodged with dust and fleas, as we were wont –

BAND

And dieted with dogs’ dung.

PENNYBOY SR

Why, you whores,

My bawds, my instruments, what should I call you

Man may think base enough for you?

PENNYBOY JR

Hear you, uncle: 60

I must not hear this of my princess’ servants,

And in  Apollo, in Pecunia’s room.

Go, get you down the stairs, home to your kennel

As swiftly as you can. Consult your dogs,

The  lares of your family, or, believe it, 65

The fury of a footman and a drawer

Hangs over you.

 They all threaten [him].

SHUNFIELD

Cudgel and pot do threaten

A kind of vengeance.

MADRIGAL

Barbers are at hand.

ALMANAC

Washing and shaving will ensue.

FITTON

The pump

Is not far off. If’t were, the  sink is near, 70

Or a good  jordan.

MADRIGAL

You have now no money –

SHUNFIELD

But are a rascal.

PENNYBOY SR

I am cheated, robbed,

Jeered by confederacy.

 And [they all] spurn him.

FITTON

No, you are kicked

And used  kindly as you should be.

SHUNFIELD

Spurned

From all commerce of men, who are a cur. 75

 [They] kick him out.

ALMANAC

A stinking dog in a doublet with foul linen.

MADRIGAL

A snarling rascal. Hence!

SHUNFIELD

Out!

PENNYBOY SR

 ([Retreating,] he exclaims) Well, remember,

I am  cozened by my cousin and his whore.

Bane o’these meetings in Apollo!

LICKFINGER

 [Trying to lead him away] Go, sir.

You will be tossed like Block in a blanket, else.  (One of his dogs.) 80

PENNYBOY JR

Down with him, Lickfinger!

PENNYBOY SR

[Shaking him off] Saucy jack, away!

 Pecunia is a whore!

[Exit, followed by Lickfinger.]

PENNYBOY JR

[To the musicians] Play him down, fiddlers,

And drown his noise! [Seeing someone approach] Who’s this?

FITTON

Oh, Master Piedmantle!

4.4  PIEDMANTLE [enters] to them.  Piedmantle brings the Lady Pecunia her pedigree.

PIEDMANTLE

By your leave, gentlemen.

FITTON

Her Grace’s herald –

ALMANAC

No herald yet, a  heraldet.

PENNYBOY JR

What’s that?

CANTER

A canter.

PENNYBOY JR

Oh, thou said’st thou’dst  prove us all so.

CANTER

Sir, here is one will prove himself so, straight.

So shall the rest, in time.

PECUNIA

[To Piedmantle] My pedigree? 5

I tell you, friend, he must be a good scholar

 Can my descent. I am of princely race,

And as good  blood as any is i’the mines

Runs through my veins. I am every  limb a princess!

Duchess o’Mines was my great-grandmother, 10

And by the father’s side I come from  Sol.

My grandfather was Duke of  Or, and matched

In the blood  royal of  Ophir.

PIEDMANTLE

[Pointing to the pedigree] Here’s his coat.

PECUNIA

I know it if I hear the  blazon.

PIEDMANTLE

He bears,

In a  field azure, a sun proper, beamy, 15

Twelve of the second.

CANTER

[Aside to Pennyboy Junior] How far’s this from canting!

PENNYBOY JR

[Aside to Canter] Her Grace doth understand  it.

CANTER

[Aside to Pennyboy Junior] She can cant, sir.

PECUNIA

[Pointing to the pedigree] What be these?  Besants?

PIEDMANTLE

Yes, an’t please Your Grace.

PECUNIA

That is our coat, too, as we come from Or.

What line’s this?

PIEDMANTLE

The rich mines of  Potosi, 20

The Spanish mines i’the West Indies.

PECUNIA

This?

PIEDMANTLE

The mines o’  Hungary; this, of Barbary.

PECUNIA

But this, this little branch?

PIEDMANTLE

The  Welsh mine, that.

PECUNIA

I ha’ Welsh blood in me, too. Blaze, sir, that coat.

  PIEDMANTLE

She bears (an’t please you)  argent, three leeks vert 25

In canton or, and tasseled of the first.

CANTER

[Aside to Pennyboy Junior] Is not this canting? Do you understand him?

PENNYBOY JR

[Aside to Canter] Not I, but it sounds well, and the whole thing

Is rarely painted. I will have such a scroll,

Whate’er it cost me.

PECUNIA

Well, at better leisure 30

We’ll take a view of it, and so reward you.

PENNYBOY JR

Kiss him, sweet princess, and style him a cousin.

PECUNIA

I will, if you will have it. ( She kisseth [him].) Cousin Piedmantle!

PENNYBOY JR

I love all men of virtue, from my princess

Unto my beggar here, old Canter. On, 35

On to thy proof. Whom prove you the next canter?

CANTER

The doctor here; I will proceed with the learnèd.

When he discourseth of  dissection,

Or any point of anatomy, that he tells you

Of  vena cava and of vena porta, 40

The  meseraics, and the mesenterium,

What does he else but cant? Or if he run

To his  judicial astrology,

And  troll the  trine, the quartile, and the sextile,

 Platic aspect, and partile, with his  hyleg 45

Or  alchochoden,  cusps, and horoscope,

Does not he cant? Who here does understand him?

ALMANAC

This is no canter, though.

CANTER

Or when my  muster-master

Talks of his tactics, and his ranks and files,

His  bringers-up, his leaders-on, and cries, 50

 ‘Faces about to the right hand!’, ‘The left!’,

‘Now,  as you were!’, then tells you of  redoubts,

Of  cats, and  cortines, doth not he cant?

PENNYBOY JR

Yes, ’faith.

CANTER

My  egg-chinned laureate here, when he comes forth

With dimeters and trimeters, tetrameters, 55

Pentameters, hexameters,  catalectics,

His hyper- and his brachy-catalectics,

His  Pyrrhics, epitrites, and choriambics,

What is all this but canting?

MADRIGAL

[To the others] A rare fellow!

SHUNFIELD

Some begging  scholar.

FITTON

A decayed doctor, at least! 60

PENNYBOY JR

Nay, I do cherish virtue, though in rags.

CANTER

And you, Mas’ Courtier –

PENNYBOY JR

[To Fitton] Now he treats of you,

Stand forth to him fair.

CANTER

With all your  fly-blown  projects,

And  looks out of the Politics, your shut faces,

  And reserved questions and answers that you game with, as, 65

‘Is’t a clear business? Will it manage well?

My name must not be used else. Here, ’twill  dash.’

‘Your business has received a taint;  give off.

I may not prostitute myself.’ ‘Tut, tut,

That little dust I can blow off at pleasure. 70

Here’s no such mountain, yet, i’the whole work

But a light purse may level.’ ‘I will  tide

This affair for you, give it  freight and passage’ –

And such  mint-phrase as ’tis the  worst of canting

By how much it affects the sense it has not. 75

FITTON

[To the others] This is some other than he seems!

PENNYBOY JR

How like you him?

FITTON

This cannot be a canter!

PENNYBOY JR

But he is, sir,

And shall be still, and so shall you be, too.

We’ll all be canters. Now I think of it,

A noble whimsy’s come into my brain: 80

 Canters’ College begun to be erected.

I’ll build a college, I and my Pecunia,

And call it  Canters’ College. Sounds it well?

ALMANAC

Excellent!

PENNYBOY JR

And here stands my father rector,

And you professors – you shall all profess

Something, and live there with Her Grace and me, 85

Your founders. I’ll endow’t with lands and means,

And Lickfinger shall be my master cook.

What? Is he gone?

  CANTER

And a professor.

PENNYBOY JR

Yes.

CANTER

And  read  Apicius’ De re culinaria

To your brave  doxy and you!

PENNYBOY JR

You, cousin Fitton, 90

Shall, as a courtier, read the  Politics;

Doctor Almanac, he shall read astrology;

Shunfield shall read the military arts.

CANTER

 As carving and assaulting the cold custard.

PENNYBOY JR

And Horace here, the Art of Poetry. 95

 (That’s Madrigal.)

His lyrics and his madrigals, fine songs

Which we will have at dinner, steeped in claret,

And,  against supper,  soused in sack.

MADRIGAL

In troth

A divine whimsy!

SHUNFIELD

And a worthy work

Fit for a chronicle!

PENNYBOY JR

Is’t not?

SHUNFIELD

To all ages. 100

PENNYBOY JR

And Piedmantle shall give us all our arms.

But Picklock, what wouldst thou be? Thou canst cant too.

PICKLOCK

In all the languages in  Westminster Hall,

 Pleas, Bench, or  Chancery.  Fee-farm,  fee-tail,

 Tenant in dower,  at will, for term of life, 105

By copy of  court roll,  knight’s service,  homage,

Fealty,  escuage,  soccage, or  frank almoin,

 Grand sergeanty, or  burgage.

PENNYBOY JR

Thou appear’st,

 Κατ᾽ έξοχὴν, a canter. Thou shalt read

All  Littleton’s Tenures to me, and  indeed 110

All my conveyances.

PICKLOCK

And  make ’em, too, sir?

 Keep all your courts, be steward o’your lands,

Let all your leases, keep your evidences?

But first, I must  procure and pass your mortmain.

You must have licence from above, sir.

PENNYBOY JR

Fear not; 115

Pecunia’s friends shall do it.

CANTER

But I shall stop it.

 Here his [Pennyboy Junior’s] father discovers himself.

Your Worship’s loving and obedient father,

Your  painful steward and lost  officer,

Who have done this to try how you would use

Pecunia when you had her. Which since I see, 120

I will take home the lady to my charge,

And these her servants, and leave you my cloak

 To travel in to Beggars’ Bush! A seat

Is built already, furnished too, worth twenty

Of your imagined structures, Canters’ College. 125

FITTON

[To the others] ’Tis his father!

MADRIGAL

He’s alive, methinks.

ALMANAC

I knew he was no rogue!

CANTER

[To Pennyboy Junior] Thou, prodigal,

Was I so careful for thee to procure

And plot wi’ my learn’d counsel, Master Picklock,

This noble match for thee, and dost thou prostitute, 130

Scatter thy mistress’ favours, throw away

Her bounties as they were red-burning coals

Too hot for thee to handle, on such rascals

Who are the scum and excrements of men?

If thou hadst sought out good and virtuous persons 135

Of these professions,  I’d loved thee, and them –

For these shall never have that plea ’gainst me,

Or  colour of advantage, that I hate

Their callings,  but their manners and their vices.

A worthy courtier is the ornament 140

Of a king’s palace, his great master’s honour.

This [He points to Fitton] is a moth, a rascal, a  court-rat

That gnaws the commonwealth with  broking suits

And eating grievances! So [Points to Shunfield], a true soldier,

He is his  country’s strength, his sovereign’s safety, 145

And, to secure  his peace, he makes himself

The heir of danger, nay, the  subject of it,

And  runs those virtuous hazards that this scarecrow

Cannot endure to hear of.

SHUNFIELD

 You are pleasant, sir.

CANTER

With you I dare be! [He points to Piedmantle.] Here is Piedmantle: 150

’Cause he’s an ass, do not I love a herald

Who is the pure preserver of descents,

The keeper fair of all nobility,

Without which all would run into confusion?

Were he a  learnèd herald, I would tell him 155

He can give  arms and marks; he cannot honour,

 No more than money can make noble – it may

Give place and rank, but it can give no virtue –

And he would thank me for this truth. [He points to Almanac.]

This dog-leach,

You style him ‘Doctor’, ’cause he can compile 160

An almanac, perhaps erect  a scheme

For my great madam’s monkey when’t has ta’en

A  glister and  berayed the  ephemerides.

Do I despise a learn’d physician

In calling him a  quack-salver? Or  blast 165

The  ever-living garland, always green,

Of a good poet when I say his wreath [He points to Madrigal.]

 Is pieced and patched of dirty, withered flowers?

Away! I am impatient of these ulcers

( That I not call you worse).  There is no sore 170

Or plague but you to infect the times. I abhor

Your very scent. [To Pecunia] Come, lady, since my Prodigal

Knew not to entertain you  to your worth,

I’ll see if I have learned how to receive you

With more respect to you and your fair train here. 175

[To Pennyboy Junior] Farewell, my beggar in velvet, for today;

 He points him to his patched cloak thrown off.

Tomorrow you may put on that grave robe

And enter your great work of Canters’ College,

Your work, and worthy of a chronicle.  [Exeunt.]

THE FOURTH INTERMEAN AFTER THE FOURTH ACT

TATTLE

Why, this was the worst of all! The catastrophe!

CENSURE

The matter began to be good but now – and he has spoiled it all with

his beggar there!

MIRTH

A beggarly jack it is, I warrant him, and  akin to the poet.

TATTLE

Like enough, for he had the chiefest part in his play, if you mark it. 5

EXPECTATION

Absurdity on him, for a huge overgrown play-maker! Why should

he make him live again, when they and we all thought  him dead? If he had

left him to his rags, there had been an end of him.

TATTLE

Ay, but set a beggar on horseback, he’ll never  lin till he be a-gallop.

CENSURE

The young heir grew a fine gentleman in this last act! 10

EXPECTATION

So he did, gossip, and kept the best company.

CENSURE

And feasted ’em and his mistress!

TATTLE

And showed her to ’em all! Was not jealous –

MIRTH

But very  communicative and liberal, and began to be magnificent, if the

churl his father would have let him alone. 15

CENSURE

It was spitefully done o’the poet to make the  chuff  take him off in his

height, when he was going to do all his brave deeds!

EXPECTATION

To found an academy!

TATTLE

Erect a college!

EXPECTATION

 Plant his professors and water his lectures – 20

MIRTH

With wine, gossips, as he meant to do; and then to defraud his purposes!

EXPECTATION

Kill the hopes of so many  towardly young spirits –

TATTLE

As the doctor’s –

CENSURE

And the courtier’s!  I protest, I was in love with Master Fitton. He did

wear all he had, from the hat-band to the shoe-tie, so  politically, and would 25

stoop and  leer –

MIRTH

And lie so in wait for a piece of wit, like a mousetrap!

EXPECTATION

Indeed, gossip, so would the little doctor. All his behaviour was

 mere glister! O’my conscience, he would make any party’s physic i’the world

work with his discourse. 30

MIRTH

I wonder they would suffer it, a foolish old fornicating father to ravish

away his son’s mistress –

CENSURE

And all her women at once, as he did!

TATTLE

I would ha’  flyen in his  gypsy’s face, i’faith.

MIRTH

It was a plain piece of  political incest, and worthy to be brought afore 35

the  high commission of wit. Suppose we were to censure him. You are the

youngest voice, gossip Tattle, begin.

TATTLE

Marry, I would ha’ the old  cony-catcher cozened of all he has, i’the young

heir’s defence, by his learn’d counsel, Master Picklock.

CENSURE

I  would rather the courtier had found out some trick to beg him from 40

his estate.

EXPECTATION

Or the captain had courage enough to beat him.

CENSURE

Or the fine madrigal-man, in  rhyme, to have run him out o’the country

like an Irish rat.

TATTLE

No, I would have Master Piedmantle, Her Grace’s herald, to pluck down 45

his  hatchments,  reverse his coat-armour, and nullify him for  no gentleman.

EXPECTATION

Nay, then let Master Doctor dissect him, have him opened, and

his tripes translated to Lickfinger, to make a  probation dish of.

CENSURE AND TATTLE

Agreed! Agreed!

MIRTH

Faith, I would have him  flat disinherited by a decree of court, bound to 50

make restitution of the Lady Pecunia, and the use of her body to his son.

EXPECTATION

And her train, to the gentlemen.

CENSURE

And both the poet and himself to ask them all forgiveness –

TATTLE

And us, too –

CENSURE

In two large sheets of paper – 55

EXPECTATION

Or to  stand in a skin of parchment, which the court please –

CENSURE

And those filled with news –

MIRTH

And dedicated to the sustaining of the Staple –

EXPECTATION

Which their poet hath let fall, most abruptly.

MIRTH

Bankruptly, indeed! 60

CENSURE

You say wittily, gossip, and therefore let a protest go out against

him –

MIRTH

A  mournival of protests, or a gleek at least –

EXPECTATION

In all our names –

CENSURE

 For a decayed wit – 65

EXPECTATION

Broken –

TATTLE

Non-solvent –

CENSURE

And forever forfeit –

MIRTH

To scorn of Mirth!

CENSURE

Censure!

EXPECTATION

Expectation! 70

TATTLE

Subsigned, Tattle. Stay, they come again.

 5.1    [Enter] PENNYBOY JUNIOR.

He comes out in the patched cloak his father left him.

PENNYBOY JR

[Indicating his own clothes] Nay, they are fit  as they had been made

for me,

And I am now  a thing worth looking at,

The same I said I would be in the morning.

No rogue at a  comitia of the canters

Did ever there become his parent’s robes 5

Better than I do these. Great fool and beggar!

Why do not all that are of those societies

Come forth and  gratulate me one of theirs?

Methinks I should be, on every side, saluted

 Dauphin of beggars! Prince of prodigals! 10

That have so fall’n under the ears and eyes

And tongues of all,  the fable o’the time,

 Matter of scorn, and  mark of reprehension!

I now begin to see my vanity

Shine in this glass, reflected by the  foil. 15

Where is my fashioner, my feather-man,

My linener, perfumer, barber, all

That tail of riot followed me this morning?

Not one! But a dark solitude about me

Worthy my cloak and patches, as I had 20

The  epidemical disease upon me;

And I’ll sit down with it. [He sits on the ground.]

 [Enter] to him THOMAS BARBER.

THOMAS

My master! Maker!

How do you? Why do you sit thus o’the ground, sir?

Hear you the news?

PENNYBOY JR

No, nor I care to hear none.

Would I could here sit  still, and slip away 25

 The other one-and-twenty, to have this

Forgotten, and the day   razed out, expunged

 In every  ephemerides or almanac!

 Or, if it must be in that time and nature

Have decreed, still, let it be a day 30

 Of tickling prodigals about the gills,

Deluding gaping heirs,  loosing their loves

And their discretions, falling from the favours

Of their best friends and parents, their own hopes,

And ent’ring the society of canters! 35

THOMAS

A doleful day it is, and dismal times

Are come upon us. I am clear undone.

PENNYBOY JR

How, Tom?

THOMAS

Why, broke! Broke! Wretchedly broke!

PENNYBOY JR

Ha?

THOMAS

Our Staple is all to pieces, quite dissolved!

PENNYBOY JR

Ha?

THOMAS

 Shivered as in an earthquake! Heard you not 40

The crack and ruins? We are all blown up!

Soon as they heard th’Infanta was got from them,

Whom they had so devoured i’their hopes

To be their patroness and sojourn with ’em,

Our emissaries, register, examiner 45

Flew into vapour; our grave governor

Into a subtler air, and  is returned,

As we do hear, grand captain of the Jeerers.

I and my fellow melted into butter

And spoiled our ink, and so the office vanished. 50

The last  hum that it made was that your father

And Picklock are fall’n out, the man o’law.

PENNYBOY JR

  (He starts up at this.) How? This awakes me from my lethargy.

THOMAS

And a great suit is  like to be between ’em.

 Picklock denies the feoffment and the trust 55

(Your father says) he made of the whole estate

Unto him,  as respecting his mortality,

When he first laid this late  device to try you.

PENNYBOY JR

Has Picklock then a trust?

THOMAS

I cannot tell.

[He looks out.] Here comes the worshipful –

 [Pennyboy encourages Tom to hide himself behind an arras.]

 PICKLOCK enters.

PICKLOCK

What? My  velvet heir, 60

Turned beggar in mind, as robes?

PENNYBOY JR

You see what  case

Your and my father’s plots have brought me to.

PICKLOCK

Your father’s, you may say, indeed, not mine.

He’s a hard-hearted gentleman! I am sorry

To see his rigid resolution. 65

That any man should so put off affection

And human nature, to destroy his own,

And triumph in a victory so cruel!

He’s  fall’n out with me for being  yours,

And calls me knave and  trait’rous to his trust, 70

Says he will have me  thrown over the bar –

PENNYBOY JR

Ha’ you deserved it?

PICKLOCK

 Oh, good heaven knows

My conscience and the  silly latitude of it!

A  narrow-minded man, my thoughts do  dwell

All in a lane or line indeed, no turning 75

Nor  scarce obliquity in them. I  still look

Right forward to th’intent and scope of that

Which he would go from now.

PENNYBOY JR

Had you a trust, then?

PICKLOCK

Sir, I had  somewhat will keep you still lord

Of all the estate, if I be honest – as 80

I hope I shall. My tender scrupulous breast

Will not permit me see the heir defrauded

And, like an alien, thrust out of the blood.

The laws forbid that I should give consent

To such a  civil slaughter of a son! 85

PENNYBOY JR

Where is the deed? Hast thou it with thee?

PICKLOCK

No,

It is a thing of greater consequence

Than to be borne about in a black box

Like a Low-Country   Verlof or Welsh  brief.

It is at Lickfinger’s, under lock and key. 90

PENNYBOY JR

Oh, fetch it hither.

PICKLOCK

I have bid him bring it

That you might see it.

PENNYBOY JR

Knows he what  he brings?

PICKLOCK

No more than a gardener’s ass what roots he carries.

PENNYBOY JR

I was a-sending my father, like an ass,

A penitent epistle, but I am glad 95

I did not, now.

PICKLOCK

Hang him! An  austere grape

That has no juice but what is  verjuice in him.

PENNYBOY JR

I’ll show you my letter.

 (Pennyboy runs out  [as if] to fetch his letter.)

PICKLOCK

Show me a  defiance!

If I can now  commit father and son,

And make my profits out of both, commence 100

A suit with the old man for his whole  state,

And go to law with the son’s credit, undo

Both, both with their own money, it were a  piece

Worthy my  nightcap and the gown I wear,

 A Picklock’s name in law. [He calls.] Where are you, sir? 105

What do you do so long?

[PENNYBOY JUNIOR returns.]

PENNYBOY JR

I cannot find

Where I have laid it, but I have laid it safe.

PICKLOCK

No matter, sir. Trust you unto my trust.

’Tis that that shall secure you, an  absolute deed!

And I confess, it was in trust for you 110

Lest anything might have happened mortal to him.

But there must be a  gratitude thought on,

And aid, sir, for the charges of the suit,

Which will be great, ’gainst such a mighty man

As is   our father, and a man possessed 115

Of so much land, Pecunia, and her friends.

I am not able to  wage law with him,

Yet must maintain the thing as mine own right,

Still for your good, and therefore must be bold

To use your credit for moneys.

PENNYBOY JR

What thou wilt, 120

So we be safe, and the trust bear it.

PICKLOCK

Fear not;

’Tis he must pay arrearages in the end.

We’ll milk him and Pecunia, draw their cream down

Before he get the deed into his hands.

My name is Picklock, but he’ll find me a padlock. 125

5.2   [Enter] PENNYBOY CANTER.

CANTER

How now? Conferring wi’ your learnèd counsel

Upo’ the cheat? Are you o’the plot to cozen me?

PENNYBOY JR

What plot?

CANTER

 Your counsel knows there, Master Picklock.

Will you restore the trust yet?

PICKLOCK

Sir, take patience

And memory unto you, and bethink you: 5

 What trust? Where dost appear? I have your deed.

Doth your deed specify any trust? Is’t not

A  perfect act, and absolute in law,

Sealed and delivered before witnesses,

The day and date  emergent?

CANTER

But what conference? 10

What oaths and vows preceded?

PICKLOCK

I will tell you, sir,

Since I am urged of those.  As I remember,

You told me you had got a grown estate

By  griping means, sinisterly –

CANTER

[Interjecting] How?

PICKLOCK

– and were

E’en weary of  it. If the parties lived 15

From whom you had wrested it –

CANTER

[Interjecting] Ha!

PICKLOCK

– you could be glad

To part with all, for satisfaction.

But since  they’d yielded to humanity,

And that just heaven had sent you, for a punishment –

You did acknowledge it – this riotous heir 20

That would bring all to beggary in the end,

And daily sowed consumption where he went –

CANTER

 You’d cozen both, then? Your confederate, too?

PICKLOCK

After a long, mature deliberation,

You could not think where better how to place it – 25

CANTER

Than on you, rascal?

PICKLOCK

 What you please i’your passion,

But  with your reason, you will come about

And think a faithful and a frugal friend

To be preferred.

CANTER

Before a son?

PICKLOCK

A prodigal,

A tub without a bottom, as you termed him; 30

For which I might return you a vow or two

And seal it with an oath of thankfulness.

I  not repent it, neither have I cause, yet –

CANTER

 Forehead of steel and  mouth of brass! Hath impudence

Polished so gross a lie, and dar’st thou vent it? 35

 Engine, composed of all mixed metals! Hence!

I will not  change a  syllab’ with thee more

Till I may meet thee at a bar in court

Before thy judges.

  [Enter PORTER. Pennyboy Junior talks to him aside and receives the deed.]

PICKLOCK

 Thither it must come

Before I part with  it to you, or you, sir. 40

CANTER

I will not hear thee.

 His [Canter’s] son entreats  him.

PENNYBOY JR

Sir, your ear to me, though.

 Not that I see through his perplexèd plots

And hidden ends, nor that  my  parts depend

Upon the unwinding this so knotted skein,

Do I beseech your patience. Unto me 45

He hath confessed the trust.

PICKLOCK

How? I confess it?

PENNYBOY JR

Ay, thou, false man.

CANTER

Stand up to him and confront him.

PICKLOCK

Where? When? To whom?

PENNYBOY JR

To me, even now, and here.

Canst thou deny it?

PICKLOCK

Can I eat or drink,

Sleep, wake, or dream, arise, sit, go, or stand, 50

Do anything that’s natural?

PENNYBOY JR

Yes: lie.

It seems thou canst, and perjure; that is natural!

PICKLOCK

Oh, me! What times are these, of  frontless carriage!

 An egg o’the same nest! The father’s bird!

It runs in a  blood, I see.

PENNYBOY JR

I’ll stop your mouth. 55

PICKLOCK

With what?

PENNYBOY JR

With truth.

PICKLOCK

With noise. I must have  witness.

Where is your witness? You can produce witness?

PENNYBOY JR

As if my testimony were not twenty,

Balanced with thine.

PICKLOCK

So say all prodigals,

Sick of self-love, but that’s not law, young  Scattergood. 60

 I live by law.

PENNYBOY JR

Why, if thou hast a  conscience,

That is a  thousand witnesses.

PICKLOCK

No court

Grants out a writ of summons for the conscience

That I know, nor  subpoena, nor  attachment.

I must have witness, and of your producing, 65

Ere this can come to hearing, and it must

Be heard on oath and witness.

PENNYBOY JR

 (He produceth Tom [from behind the arras].) Come forth, Tom.

Speak what thou heard’st, the truth, and the whole truth,

And nothing but the truth. What said this varlet?

PICKLOCK

 A rat behind the hangings!

THOMAS

Sir, he said 70

 It was a trust, an act the which your father

Had will to alter, but his tender breast

Would not permit to see the heir defrauded

And, like an alien, thrust out of the blood.

The laws forbid that he should give consent 75

To such a civil slaughter of a son! –

PENNYBOY JR

And talked of a gratuity to be given,

And aid unto the charges of the suit,

Which he was to maintain in his own name,

But for my use, he said.

CANTER

It is enough. 80

THOMAS

And he would milk Pecunia and draw down

Her cream before you got the trust again.

CANTER

[To Picklock] Your  ears are in my pocket, knave; go shake ’em

The little while you have them.

PICKLOCK

You do trust

To your great purse.

CANTER

I ha’ you in a  purse-net, 85

Good Master Picklock, wi’ your  worming brain

And wriggling  engine-head of  maintenance,

Which I shall see you  hole with very shortly –

A fine round head, when those two lugs are off,

To  trundle through a pillory. [To Thomas] You are sure 90

You heard him speak this?

PENNYBOY JR

Ay, and more.

THOMAS

Much more!

PICKLOCK

I’ll prove  yours maintenance and  combination,

And sue you all.

CANTER

  Do, do, my  gownèd vulture,

Crop in reversion. I shall see you   quoited

Over the bar,  as bargemen do their billets. 95

PICKLOCK

 This ’tis when men repent of their good deeds

And would ha’ ’em in again. They are almost mad,

But I forgive their lucida intervalla.

  Picklock spies LICKFINGER [entering to them].

Oh, Lickfinger! Come hither. ([He] asks him aside for the writing.) Where’s

my writing?

 5.3

LICKFINGER

I sent it you, together with your keys.

PICKLOCK

How?

LICKFINGER

By the porter that came for it, from  you –

  And by the token you had giv’n me, the keys –

And bade me bring it.

PICKLOCK

And why did you not?

LICKFINGER

Why did you send a countermand?

PICKLOCK

Who, I? 5

LICKFINGER

 You, or some other you you put in trust.

PICKLOCK

In trust?

LICKFINGER

Your trust’s another self, you know,

And without trust, and your trust, how should he

Take notice of your keys or of my charge?

 [As Picklock and Lickfinger talk,] Young Pennyboy discovers it to his father to be his plot of sending for it by the porter, and that he is in possession of the deed.

PICKLOCK

 Know you the man?

LICKFINGER

I know he was a porter – 10

And  a sealed porter, for he bore the badge

On breast, I am sure.

PICKLOCK

I am lost. A plot! I  scent it!

LICKFINGER

Why, and I sent it by the man you sent,

Whom else I had not trusted.

PICKLOCK

Plague o’your trust!

I am trussed up among you.

PENNYBOY JR

Or you may be. 15

PICKLOCK

In mine own halter; I have made the noose.

 Picklock goes out.

PENNYBOY JR

What was it, Lickfinger?

LICKFINGER

A writing, sir;

He sent for’t by a token. I was bringing it,

But that he sent a porter, and he seemed

A man of decent  carriage.

CANTER

’Twas good fortune! 20

To cheat the cheater was no cheat, but justice.

[To Pennyboy Junior] Put off your rags and be yourself again.

 This act of piety and good affection

Hath partly reconciled me to you.

PENNYBOY JR

Sir –

CANTER

No vows, no promises.  Too much protestation 25

Makes that suspected oft we would persuade.

LICKFINGER

Hear you the news?

PENNYBOY JR

The office is down: how should we?

LICKFINGER

But of your uncle?

PENNYBOY JR

No.

LICKFINGER

He’s run mad, sir.

 Elder Pennyboy startles at the news.

CANTER

How, Lickfinger?

LICKFINGER

Stark staring mad, your brother;

H’has almost killed his maid –

CANTER

Now, heaven forbid! 30

LICKFINGER

But that she’s cat-lived and squirrel-limbed,

With throwing  bed-staves at her. H’has set wide

His outer doors, and now keeps open house

For all the passers-by to see  his justice.

First, he has apprehended his two dogs 35

As being o’the plot to cozen him,

And there he sits like an  old worm of the peace,

Wrapped up in furs, at a square table, screwing,

Examining and committing the poor curs

To two old  cases of close-stools, as prisons, 40

The one of which he calls his  Lollard’s tower,

Th’other his  Block-house, ’cause his two dogs’ names

Are Block and  Lollard.

PENNYBOY JR

This would be  brave matter

Unto the Jeerers.

CANTER

Ay,  if so the subject

Were not so wretched.

LICKFINGER

Sure, I met them all, 45

I think, upon that quest.

CANTER

’Faith, like enough.

The vicious  still are swift to show their natures.

I’ll thither too, but with another aim,

If all succeed well and my  simples take. [Exeunt.]

5.4     PENNYBOY SENIOR is seen sitting at his table with papers before him.

[Enter a] PORTER.

PENNYBOY SR

Where are the prisoners?

PORTER

They are forthcoming, sir,

Or coming forth, at least.

PENNYBOY SR

[To himself] The rogue is drunk

Since I committed them to his charge. – Come hither;

Near me. Yet nearer; breathe upon me.  (He smells him.) Wine!

Wine,  o’my worship! Sack,  canary sack! 5

Could not  your badge ha’ been drunk with fulsome ale

Or beer, the porter’s element? But sack!

PORTER

I am not drunk. We had, sir, but one pint,

An honest carrier and myself.

PENNYBOY SR

Who paid for’t?

PORTER

Sir, I did give it him.

PENNYBOY SR

What? And spend sixpence? 10

A  frock spend sixpence! Sixpence!

PORTER

Once in a year, sir.

PENNYBOY SR

In seven years, varlet! Know’st thou what thou hast done,

What a consumption thou hast made of a  state?

It might please heaven, a  lusty knave and young,

To let thee live some seventy years longer, 15

Till thou art fourscore-and-ten, perhaps a hundred –

Say, seventy years.  How many times seven in seventy?

Why, seven times ten is ten times seven. Mark me,

I will demonstrate to thee on my fingers:

Sixpence in seven year ( use upon use) 20

Grows in that first seven year to be a twelvepence;

That, in the next, two shillings; the third, four shillings;

The fourth seven year, eight shillings; the fifth, sixteen;

The sixth, two-and-thirty; the seventh, three pound four;

The eighth, six pound and eight; the ninth, twelve pound sixteen; 25

And the tenth seven, five-and-twenty pound

Twelve shillings. This thou art fall’n from, by thy riot,

Shouldst thou live seventy years, by spending sixpence

Once i’the seven. But in a day to waste it:

There is a sum that number cannot reach! 30

Out o’my house, thou pest o’ prodigality!

Seed o’ consumption, hence! A wicked  keeper

Is oft worse than the prisoners. [He pays him.] There’s thy penny;

Four  tokens for thee. Out, away! [Exit Porter.]

My dogs

May yet be innocent and honest. If not, 35

I have an entrapping question or two more

To put unto ’em, a  cross-interr’gatory,

And I shall catch ’em. – Lollard!

  He calls forth [the dog,] Lollard, and examines him.

Peace!

What whisp’ring was that you had with Mortgage

When you last licked her feet? The truth, now. Ha? 40

Did you smell she was going?  [To an imaginary recorder] Put down that.

And not,

Not to return? You are silent. Good. And when

Leaped you on Statute? As she went forth? ‘Consent’!

There was consent as she was going forth?

’Twould have been fitter at her coming home, 45

But you knew that she would not? To your Tower.

 He commits him again.

You are cunning, are you? I will meet your craft.

 [He] calls forth Block, and examines him.

Block, show your face, leave your caresses. Tell me,

And tell me truly, what affronts do you know

Were done Pecunia, that she left my house? 50

None, say you so? Not that you know, or  will know?

I fear me I shall find you an obstinate cur.

Why did your fellow Lollard cry this morning?

’Cause Broker kicked him? Why did Broker kick him?

Because he pissed against my lady’s gown? 55

Why, that was no affront? No? No distaste?

You knew o’ none? You’re a dissembling  tyke;

(Commits him.) To your hole, again, your Block-house.

 Lollard is called again.

Lollard, arise.

Where did you lift your leg up last? ’Gainst what?

Are you struck  dummerer now, and whine for mercy? 60

Whose  kirtle was’t you gnawed, too? Mistress Band’s?

And Wax’s stockings?  Who? Did Block  bescumber

Statute’s white suit wi’ the  parchment lace there,

And Broker’s satin  doublet? All will out.

They had offence, offence enough to  quit me. 65

 Block is summoned the second time.

Appear, Block! Fough, ’tis manifest. He shows  it.

Should he forswear ’t, make all the affidavits

Against it that he could afore the bench

And twenty juries, he would be  convinced.

He bears an air about him doth confess it! 70

To prison again, close prison!  (He [Block] is remanded.)

Not you, Lollard.

Lollard has the liberty of the house.

You may enjoy the liberty o’the house.

And yet there is a  quirk come in my head

For which I must commit you, too, and close.

Do not repine; it will be better for you. [He commits Lollard again.] 75

5.5    Enter the Jeerers, CYMBAL, FITTON, SHUNFIELD, ALMANAC, [and] MADRIGAL.

CYMBAL

This is enough to make the dogs mad, too.

Let’s in upon him.

PENNYBOY SR

How now? What’s the matter?

Come you to  force the prisoners? Make a rescue?

FITTON

We come to bail your dogs.

PENNYBOY SR

They are not bailable.

They stand committed without bail or  mainprise. 5

Your bail cannot be taken.

SHUNFIELD

Then the truth is

We come to vex you.

ALMANAC

Jeer you.

MADRIGAL

Bait you, rather.

CYMBAL

A  baited userer will be good flesh.

FITTON

And tender, we are told.

PENNYBOY SR

Who is the butcher

Amongst you that is come to cut my throat? 10

SHUNFIELD

You would die a calf’s death  fain, but ’tis an ox’s

Is meant you.

FITTON

To be fairly knocked o’the head –

SHUNFIELD

With a good jeer or two.

PENNYBOY SR

And from your  jawbone,

Don Assinigo?

CYMBAL

Shunfield, a jeer; you have it.

SHUNFIELD

I do confess a  ’washing blow. [Addressing Pennyboy Senior]

But, Snarl – 15

You that might play the third dog for your teeth –

You ha’ no money now?

FITTON

No, nor no Mortgage.

ALMANAC

Nor Band.

MADRIGAL

Nor Statute.

CYMBAL

No, nor  blushet Wax.

PENNYBOY SR

Nor you no office, as I take it.

SHUNFIELD

Cymbal,

A mighty jeer.

FITTON

 Pox o’these true jests, I say. 20

MADRIGAL

He will turn the better jeerer.

ALMANAC

Let’s upon him,

And if we cannot jeer him down in wit –

MADRIGAL

Let’s do’t in noise.

SHUNFIELD

Content.

MADRIGAL

Charge, man o’war!

ALMANAC

Lay him, aboard!

SHUNFIELD

We’ll gi’ him a broadside first.

FITTON

[To Pennyboy Senior] Where’s your venison now?

CYMBAL

Your red-deer pies? 25

SHUNFIELD

Wi’ your baked turkeys?

ALMANAC

And your partridges?

MADRIGAL

Your pheasants and fat swans?

PENNYBOY SR

Like you, turned geese.

MADRIGAL

 But such as will not keep your Capitol!

SHUNFIELD

You were wont to ha’ your breams –

ALMANAC

And trouts sent in –

CYMBAL

Fat carps and salmons –

FITTON

Ay, and, now and then 30

An emblem o’yourself, an o’er-grown  pike?

PENNYBOY SR

You are a jack, sir.

FITTON

You ha’ made a shift

To swallow twenty such  poor jacks ere now.

ALMANAC

If he should come to feed upon poor john –

MADRIGAL

Or turn pure  Jack-a-Lent after all this? 35

FITTON

Tut, he’ll live like a  grasshopper –

MADRIGAL

On dew.

SHUNFIELD

Or like a  bear, with licking his own claws.

CYMBAL

Ay, if his dogs were away.

ALMANAC

He’ll eat them, first,

While they are fat.

FITTON

Faith, and when they are gone,

 Here’s nothing to be seen beyond.

CYMBAL

Except 40

His kindred, spiders, natives o’the soil.

ALMANAC

 Dust he will ha’ enough here to breed fleas.

MADRIGAL

But by that time he’ll ha’ no blood  to rear ’em.

SHUNFIELD

He will be as  thin as a lantern; we shall see  through him –

ALMANAC

And his  gut colon,  tell his  intestina45

PENNYBOY SR

Rogues!  Rascals!

 (His dogs bark: Bow wow!)

FITTON

He calls his dogs to his aid.

ALMANAC

Oh, they but rise at mention of his tripes.

CYMBAL

Let them alone. They do it not for him.

MADRIGAL

They bark  se defendendo.

SHUNFIELD

Or for custom,

As commonly curs do, one for another. 50

[Enter] LICKFINGER.

LICKFINGER

Arm, arm, you gentlemen Jeerers! Th’old Canter

Is coming in upon you with his forces,

The gentleman that was the canter.

SHUNFIELD

Hence!

FITTON

Away!

CYMBAL

What is he?

ALMANAC

Stay not to ask questions.

FITTON

He’s a flame.

SHUNFIELD

A furnace.

ALMANAC

A consumption, 55

Kills where he goes.

 They all run away.

LICKFINGER

See, the whole covey is scattered!

 ’Ware, ’ware the  hawk! I love to see  him fly.

5.6  [Enter] PENNYBOY CANTER, PENNYBOY JUNIOR, [and] PECUNIA [with her] train [MORTGAGE, STATUTE, BAND, and WAX].

CANTER

[To Pennyboy Junior] You see by this amazement and distraction

What your companions were: a poor, affrighted,

And guilty race of men, that dare to  stand

No breath of truth, but, conscious to themselves

Of their no-wit or honesty, ran routed 5

At every  panic terror themselves bred,

Where, else, as confident as  sounding brass,

Their tinkling captain, Cymbal, and the rest

Dare put on any  visor to deride

The wretched, or, with   buffon licence, jest 10

At whatsoe’er is serious, if not sacred.

 Pennyboy Senior acknowledgeth his elder brother.

PENNYBOY SR

Who’s this? My brother, and restored to life!

CANTER

Yes, and sent hither to restore your wits,

If your  short madness be not more than anger

Conceivèd for your loss! – which I return you. 15

See here, your Mortgage, Statute, Band, and Wax,

Without your Broker, come to abide with you

And vindicate the prodigal from stealing

Away the lady.  Nay, Pecunia herself

Is come to free him fairly, and discharge 20

All ties, but those of love, unto her person,

To use her like a friend, not like a slave

Or like an idol. Superstition

Doth violate the deity it worships

No less than scorn doth. And believe it, brother, 25

 The use of things is all, and not the store.

Surfeit and fullness have killed more than famine.

The sparrow, with his little plumage, flies,

While the proud peacock, overcharged with  pens,

Is fain to sweep the ground with his  grown train 30

And load of feathers.

PENNYBOY SR

Wise and honoured brother!

None but a brother, and sent from the dead,

As you are to me, could have altered me.

I thank my destiny, that is so gracious.

Are there no pains, no penalties decreed 35

 From whence you come to us that smother money

In chests and strangle her in bags?

CANTER

Oh, mighty,

Intolerable fines and  mulcts imposed,

Of which I come to warn you, forfeitures

Of whole estates, if they be known and  taken! 40

PENNYBOY SR

I thank you, brother, for the light you have given me;

I will prevent ’em all. First, free my dogs,

Lest what I ha’ done to them and against law

Be a  praemunire, for, by Magna Carta,

They could not be committed as close prisoners, 45

My learnèd counsel tells me here,  my cook –

And yet he showed me the way, first.

LICKFINGER

Who did? I?

I  trench the liberty o’the subjects?

CANTER

Peace!

Picklock, your  guest, that  stentor, hath infected you,

Whom I have safe enough in a wooden collar. 50

PENNYBOY SR

Next, I restore these servants to their lady

With freedom, heart of cheer, and countenance.

It is their year and day of  jubilee.

 Her train thanks him.

PECUNIA’S TRAIN

 We thank you, sir.

PENNYBOY SR

And lastly, to my nephew

I give my house, goods, lands, all but my vices, 55

And those I go to cleanse –  kissing this lady,

Whom I do give him, too, and join their hands.

[He joins the hands of Pennyboy Junior and Pecunia.]

CANTER

If the spectators will  join theirs, we thank ’em.

PENNYBOY JR

And wish they may, as I, enjoy Pecunia.

PECUNIA

And so Pecunia herself doth wish, 60

That she may still be aid unto their  uses,

Not slave unto their pleasures or a tyrant

Over their fair desires, but teach them all

The golden mean: the prodigal, how to live,

The sordid and the covetous, how to die – 65

 That, with sound mind; this, safe frugality. [Exeunt.]


THE END

The Epilogue

[Enter EPILOGUE.]

Thus have you seen the  maker’s double  scope,

To  profit and delight, wherein our hope

Is, though the  clout we do not always hit,

It will not be imputed to his wit –

A  tree so tried and bent as ’twill not  start. 5

Nor doth he often  crack a string of art,

Though there may other accidents as strange

Happen: the  weather of your looks may change,

Or some high wind of  misconceit arise

To cause an alteration in our skies. 10

If so, we’re sorry that have so misspent

Our time and  tackle; yet  he’s confident,

And vows the next fair day he’ll have us shoot

The same match o’er for him, if you’ll come to’t. [Exit.]

Title-page 6 1625 i.e. 1625/6. Jonson is using the legal calendar, which began the new year on 25 March. The play was acted in early 1626, and registered in the Stationers’ Register on 14 April 1626.
10 Hor . . . Poet. Horace, The Art of Poetry (333–4).
11–12 Aut . . . vitae'Poets wish either to instruct or delight, or to join at once both the pleasant and the useful to life.' (See Jonson's translation of Horace, Of the Art of Poetry, 7.50, lines 477–8.)
14 I. B. John Beale, printer.
14 Robert Allot London bookseller and publisher (d. 1635). His shop was at the sign of the black bear in St. Paul’s Churchyard. He was the principal publisher of the Shakespeare second folio in 1632. For Beale and Allot, see the Textual Essay on F2(2), Electronic Edition.
16 1631 Printed in 1631, but not issued until the folio of 1640–1.
The Persons of the Play 0.1 The list of dramatis personae in F2 organizes the cast into significant groups.
Persons of the Play 1, 2, 3 PENNYBOY] F2 (PENI-BOY)
2 canter One adept in the use of jargon or cant. Beggars were notorious for their use of mysterious cant; cf. 1.5.89. That Pennyboy Jr’s father, ostensibly dead, has disguised himself as the Canter remains undisclosed for most of the play, although the identity of these two figures is tersely disclosed here in the printed list of dramatis personae.
4 CYMBAL In her edition Kifer remarks a reminiscence of Paul’s comparison of spiritually bankrupt or uncharitable speech to the sounding of cymbals, 1 Corinthians, 13.1; the biblical association is strengthened at 5.6.8, when Pennyboy Canter refers to Cymbal as ‘their tinkling captain’.
4 Staple An official export commodities market, usually exclusive and under royal protection; also, a warehouse or a quantity of stored provisions.
4 jeerer sneerer.
5 FITTON ‘Fitton’ (or ‘Fitten’) is a rare word, of uncertain origin, meaning ‘lie’. In the folio revision of Cynthia’s Revels, the word ‘fictions’ is changed to ‘fittens, fragments’: see collation to Cynthia (Q), 1.4.18.
5 Emissary OED gives this as the first use of the term to mean ‘informant’ or ‘person sent on a mission’ although Jonson had already used the term thus in Devil, 5.5.47; the earlier sense of the term, ‘outlet’ or ‘duct’, insinuates nasty connotations. See 1.2.47n.
6 physic medicine.
7 SHUNFIELD The name broadly evokes the captain’s fear of the dangers of the battlefield.
8 MADRIGAL Part-song, usually on pastoral themes, or a love-poem suitable for setting in parts. Jonson’s references to the form are scornful: Und. 42.68 and Epicene, 2.3.19ff.
8 Poetaster Petty rhymer; see Jonson’s play by that name. Jonson’s use of this word in Cynthia (Q), 2.4.11, is the first cited in OED.
9 PICKLOCK The name implies this lawyer’s disposition to subterfuge; cf. Bart. Fair, Ind. 103 and 3.5.234.
9 Westminster The seat of Parliament.
10 Pursuivant-at-arms and heraldet Both terms designate a petty herald, although ‘heraldet’ seems to be a diminutive of Jonson’s own devising. A ‘herald’ is an official genealogist, specialist in the invention of coats-of-arms, and arbiter of aristocratic conduct. The official organization of English heralds was the College of Heralds, or College of Arms, the members of which were distributed across three ranks, the Kings of Arms, the Heralds, and the Pursuivants. Each member of the College had a traditional name: one of the pursuivants was ‘Bluemantle’, a name parodied in ‘Piedmantle’, a name that evokes motley, the traditional garb of fools.
11 REGISTER Senior book-keeper or clerk.
13 THOMAS BARBER] F2 (THO: BARBR)
14 PECUNIA Money, wealth (Lat.).
14–18, 22–5 indented, F2
14 Infanta (Sp.) Princess. Because of her title, Jonson’s audience could hardly avoid associating Pecunia with the Spanish Infanta Maria Anna, whom Prince Charles had courted in 1622–3.
17 BAND Refers to the ribbons used to bind up official documents, usually sealed with wax.
18 WAX A tradition of salacious insinuations about chambermaids triggers bawdy associations to this name: it takes little to render wax pliant, after all; morever, seal could be used to denote sexual congress, hence Knowell’s reflections (EMI (F), 2.5.39–40) on how debauched fathers call their sons ‘into fellowship of vice, / Bait ’em with the young chambermaid, to seal.’
19 secretary One who does the private business of an employer, especially the handling of his or her correspondence.
19 gentleman-usher male attendant on a lady; harbinger (OED, 26 and 3a). See Induction, 4. A gentleman-usher would attend on a lady, preceding her, whenever she walked abroad. Like ‘broker’, the term sometimes has a slight bawdy tincture.
19 Her Grace Pecunia.
20 parcel-poet demi-poet or poetaster.
21 FASHIONER ‘One who makes articles of dress; a tailor, costumier, modiste’ (OED, Fashioner, b, OED’s first usage).
22 LINENER shirtmaker.
24–5 F2 (SHOOMAKER. SPVRRIER.)
25 SPURRIER maker of spurs.
26 DOPPER, Anabaptist; cf. News NW, 164–6.
28 DOGS, two [LOLLARD and BLOCK] this edn; DOGGES.II. F2; Block and Lollard, two Dogs. G
29–30 Musicians / NICHOLAS a boy singer] Parr; not in F2
32 GOSSIP confidante. OED gives three senses: a godmother (in which sense it is used at Induction, 16–17 below), familiar acquaintance, or a trifling woman.
36 BOOKHOLDER prompter.
1–4, 13 SDs] this edn; not in F2 13 SD] G, subst.; not in F2
The Induction 1 The speaker of the Prologue begins until he is interrupted; see Prologue 1, where the line is slightly varied.
4 Gentleman-usher door-keeper; see Persons of the Play 19n.
6 O’the stage At private theatres like the Blackfriars, where this play was first performed, gallants could rent stools or a place on a bench on stage, making a show of themselves, of their gestures, clothes, and critical connoisseurship; cf. Cynthia (Q), Praeludium, 92–5. (It may have been possible to secure such ostentatious seating at the public theatres as well; certainly one could rent seats in the ‘lords’ room’, often used as an upper stage at a theatre like the Globe, whether or not it were allowable to sit on the main stage itself.) Apparently, women did not purchase such seats, though it may be that the Prologue’s question at 13–14 about what the noblemen and the wits will think of the Gossips’ self-display entails a criticism of their transgression of the proprieties not only of gender, but also of social status.
10 Shrovetide The three days of indulgence and merriment prior to Lent.
10–11 It’s . . . meet Apparently proverbial; cf. Samuel Rowlands’s ballad of 1602, ’Tis Merry When Gossips Meet.
12 form bench.
14 bench With a play on the judicial sense; see ‘sit upon’ and ‘arraign’ at 17 below.
16 gossips The term is used here in the specific sense of ‘godmother’.
17 longing Although Rabbi Busy explains that ‘longing, it is a disease . . . incident to women’, in Bart. Fair, 1.6.39–40, the Prologue for the Stage in Staple does not specify longing to sex. At 1.6.60, ‘longings’ is used specifically to denote the appetite for novelty.
17 sit upon pass judgement on. Jonson was partial to the analogy between legal and literary judgement. See his reference to ‘the wise and many-headed bench that sits / Upon the life and death of plays and wits’ in his commendatory verses for Fletcher’s The Faithful Shepherdess, as well as the Induction to Bart. Fair (Induction 73ff.), and his commendatory verses prefixed to Shakespeare’s first folio ‘Shakes. Beloved’ (5.638–42), lines 27–8.
28 like?] F2 (like?); like. F3
30 Cry you mercy I beg your pardon.
30 you . . . cause This is the way Jonson seems to misremember the remark of Shakespeare’s Caesar (JC, 3.1.47–8): he quotes it derisively in Discoveries as ‘Caesar did never wrong, but with just cause’ (480–1 and n.).
32 Curiosity Cf. the opening SD of Time Vind., which announces the entrance of Fame to an audience of ‘the Curious’.
34 penned written or, by metaphoric extension, composed or constructed. But the suggestion in H&S that ‘penned’ means ‘feathered’ also has merit.
36 rides post rides hastily. Originally the specific sense was of riding one leg of a route divided into stages or ‘posts’, each of a length appropriate for a horseman to travel at speed, so that messages might be passed from one post-rider to the next. It would be as inappropriate to ride post in stockings as to dance in boots.
38 beaten embroidered.
39 SD] not in F2
40 lights At indoor private theatres like the Blackfriars, where Staple was first performed, plays were performed by candlelight. (At public theatres like the Globe, performances were illuminated only by daylight.) Candle wicks had to be trimmed (‘mended’) at regular intervals, obliging a performance pause at act breaks and, as here, just before the beginning of a play, since the candles would have already been burning in the period during which the audience was settling itself.
40 SD] placement, F3; as marginal note F2; and similarly passim for all marginal notes in F2
43 no fireworks Responding to Tattle’s and Expectation’s nervous reaction to the Bookholder’s instructions to the Tiremen, the Prologue reassures the gossips that Staple will not resort to startling pyrotechnics of the sort sometimes employed to excite the more vulgar audiences at the public theatres.
45 in travail in labour, i.e. (1) working on; (2) about to give birth to.
45 travail] F2 (trauell)
46 and] F3; aud F2
47 like likely.
48 poet Jonson’s preferred term for ‘playwright’.
49 abuse him (By acting his play poorly).
50 tiring-house dressing room.
51 tun large cask or barrel.
51 spurges ferments, froths (and so gives off impurities).
52 wort The mixture of grain, yeast, and water prepared in the first stages of beer-brewing.
52 work ferment, ‘stew’.
52–3 a good shroving dish rich, Shrovetide fare.
53 for a service of state as a dish served at a banquet.
54 unbraced loosened.
56 making composing, devising.
56 repeating reciting.
58 the book the script of the play.
58 poetical fury The phrasing links Jonson’s notorious disposition to pique with furor poeticus, the violent mania associated with the inspired enthusiasm described in Plato’s Ion and the subject of the last lines of Horace’s Art of Poetry.
58 sack The general term for a range of strong, dry white wines imported from Spain or the Canary Islands; the particular wine in which the poet has indulged is, apparently, flat and insipid, or ‘dead’.
60 emblem of Patience Cf. TN, 2.4.110, ‘she sat like Patience on a monument’.
61 Prologue. Peace!] this edn; Prologue, peace. F2
The Prologue for the Stage 2 Characteristically, Jonson here prefers the ear to the eye as an organ of moral and aesthetic judgement, but it was not uncommon at this time to speak of hearing a play.
5 maker Together with ‘poet’, this is Jonson’s preferred term not only for an author of non-dramatic poetry, but also for a dramatist.
9 salute greet.
10 such such-and-such.
10 walk move on.
13 scene play.
14–15 How . . . spring Although the use of coaches in England dates to the mid-1550s, hackney-coaches, available for public hire, only became available in London in the early 1620s. Jonson had commented on Hyde Park as a favoured gathering place for those riding in coaches as early as 1620 in News NW, 201–2; and cf. the remarks on riding in coaches in East. Ho! (2.3.12–14) and Bart. Fair (4.5.80–1).
14 Hyde Parke] F2 (Hide-parke)
14 show appear.
15 Medley’s An ordinary – an eating-and-drinking establishment somewhat more upscale than a tavern – in Milford Lane, which runs south from the Strand.
16 Dunstan The Devil and St Dunstan Tavern, near Temple Bar, on the south side of Fleet Street, in the Apollo Room of which Jonson often met with friends. A set of rules of conduct that Jonson composed in Latin verse, the Leges Convivales, were engraved over the chimney in this room and his English verses welcoming those who had come to consult ‘the oracle of Apollo’ were painted over the doorway to the room (5.420).
16 the Phoenix A tavern, near the theatre of the same name, in Drury Lane.
20 poetic elves The effect is at once diminutive and derisive: ‘little rhymers’.
22 can who can.
25 He The true dramatic poet.
26 acme high point; Jonson uses the term in Discoveries, 662 to refer, again, to a state of particularly verbal excellence.
27 enterprise undertake.
29 If . . . that If you do not care for that which.
30 left ceased.
30 SD] Parr; not in F2
The Prologue for the Court 1 This prologue takes the form of a sonnet, which Jonson generally eschews: although he also adopts the form for Epigr. 103, he expresses his general dislike for sonnets in Informations, 42–4. See also Epigr. 56, headnote.
1 not . . . lamp unstudied, fresh.
3 writ . . . meridian of written to suit the taste of.
5 rite solemn offering.
8 nut-crackers Referring to the habit, ostensibly vulgar, of cracking and eating nuts during plays.
11–14 Jonson is doing more than asserting that the play does not submit to the contemporary mania for novelty. He here renders the relation between accuracy and truth with unusual subtlety and emphatic latitude: he tells us that the satiric representation of common folly cannot properly be claimed as a truth, though Fancy might proceed as if it were and, indeed, subsequent poets may properly imitate such representations. Gently adjusting the important received idea that poetry should aim only to represent the True, Jonson proposes that poetry may set its sights on the merely actual. Here, then, is an important moment in the complex history of realism.
13 SD] Parr; not in F2
1.1 The first three scenes are imagined to take place in Pennyboy Jr’s lodgings.
1.1 ] F2 (Act. I. Scene. I.)
0 SD.1–2] F2 (Peni-boy. Iv. Lether-legge.)
0 SD.3–4] His . . . tailor] F3; in right margin, F2, preceded by an asterisk indicating placement in dialogue
0.3 His . . . boots Leatherleg, Pennyboy’s shoemaker, has just assisted Pennyboy in pulling on a new pair of boots.
0.4 trouses breeches, not the modern, looser-fitting trousers.
1 Gramercy Many thanks. (Fr. Grand merci.)
1 spurrier spur-maker.
2 presently at once.
3–9 That this parodies the opening of Donne’s Elegy on Prince Henry (‘Look to me, faith, and look to my faith, God’) was first noted by Pottle (1925); cf. Informations, 91–6.
3 land Neatly ambiguous: while Pennyboy calls upon his compatriots (‘land’) to admire his wit, a counter-meaning betrays him, for he seems at the same time to be calling upon the land he has inherited to sustain (‘look to’) his wit, the implication being that his new wealth will compensate for his dearth of intelligence.
6 those in addition to those.
6 perspicils magnifying lenses.
9 looking after paying attention to, admiring.
10 Now . . . shortly By ‘shortly’ I mean right now. (OED notes two temporal senses of Shortly adv. 2: ‘in a short time; not long after the present’ and ‘in early use also: with little delay, speedily, quickly’. Pennyboy insists that his use of the word be taken in the second sense.)
10 ’T] F2 (* ’T)
10 strikes Striking watches had been manufactured since the middle of the sixteenth century.
10, 15 SD] in margin, F2, preceded by asterisk
10–11 One . . . six Normally, of course, the civil day began at midnight, but there were some inconsistencies of practice. According to Eustace Clark’s Almanac, 1633, ‘the Babylonians, Persians, and Bohemians begin their day at sun-rising, holding till sun-setting; and so do our lawyers account it in England’ (B3–B3v).
15 drop] F2 ( *drop)
15 wardship status of being a ‘ward’ or minor, dependent on a guardian or parent.
16 pupil age minority; cf. Cor., 2.2.92.
16 vassalage (1) being a minor in age (vassal-age); (2) being in a state of servitude.
17 Liberty Full rights and prerogatives, as of citizenship, professional ‘mastership’, or majority.
17 come, throw] F2 (come throw)
18 band collar.
19 sue . . . livery To ‘sue for livery’ is to bring suit for the delivery from the Court of Wards of one’s inheritance. In this legal phrase, the term ‘livery’, which remains fairly close to its etymological origins, means ‘that which is provided or delivered’, though Pennyboy Jr is also thinking of a less technical meaning of the term, the uniform or features of clothing that designate one as a servant or retainer in a particular aristocratic household. In effect, Pennyboy Jr conceives of his majority at once as an access of property and as the acquisition of a new suit of clothes, at once idiosyncratic and fashionable; his persistent immaturity is signalled by the fact that he seems to regard the property and the clothing as equivalent.
19 mine] F3; miny F2
20 so much having such-and-such an income.
22 SD] in margin, F2, preceded by asterisk
23 Not come] F2 (*Not come)
23–7 Tailor . . . thee The basic framework of the sentence is ‘Tailor, thou art a vermin thus to retard my longings to beat thee’, implying that beating tradesmen is one of the special prerogatives of the moneyed class. The association of tailors with vermin is common enough, since clothes were frequently infested with lice.
24–5 prick’st . . . seam Recalling ‘prick-louse’, a cant term for tailors.
25 subtle artful, delicate.
25 go to An expression of impatience.
26 longings Cf. Induction 17; 1.6.60.
27 write man write myself down as having reached the age of twenty-one; see EMO, 3.1.167.
28 struck] F2 (strooke)
28 it,] F3; F2 (it)
30 An If.
33 hope his custom hope to have his business.
34 Fashioner See The Persons of the Play, 21n.
34 break] this edn; breake – F2
35 breaking breaking your appointment. (Playing on breaking a head, i.e. drawing blood by inflicting a head wound.)
1.2 ] F3 (Act. I. Scene II.); Act. II. Scene. IJ. F2
0 SD] G (Enter Fashioner.); Fashioner. Peniboy. Thomas / Barber. Haberdasher. F2
1.2 1 staying tardiness.
3 hernshaw heron.
3 hernshaw] F2 (Her’n-sew)
5 Before a quarter A quarter of an hour earlier.
7 nonage legal minority, grounds for temporary exemption from debt.
8–9 ere . . . time i.e. before you were demonstrably old enough to be held accountable for your debts.
11 hell The space under a tailor’s shop-board, where remnants were stored.
14 for three lives A standard means of setting the duration of a contract, designated as in force for the term of the life of the longest-lived of three specified individuals.
15 copyholder One who holds land at the will of the landowner proper.
16 SD] F3; in left margin, F2
16 unquestioned paid without inspection.
16 SD says tries on. (Says is an obsolete, apocopated form of assays.)
18 sealed . . . custom guaranteed that I will be your customer for a fixed period.
19 without outside, in a waiting room.
19 SH jr] F3 (Ju.); IV F2
20 SD.2] G (Enter Thomas, Barber); not in F2, but see massed entry at 1.2.0 SD
21 in procinctu in preparation (originally, in reference to girding up for battle).
22 staple See Persons, 4n.
23–36 This recycles the ‘project’ proposed by the Factor in News NW, 30–44, Jonson’s masque for 1620.
24 brave impressive, splendid. An unobtrusive but central term in the vocabulary of the play, it is used almost exclusively to designate finery and novelty, as opposed to valour; see its mock-heroic use in the next scene. Also in lines 37, 47.
27 vent (1) publish, sell; (2) emit. See also ‘venting’ (40) and ‘vented’ (52).
29–30 Barbers were notorious gossips. Cf. the story of Midas and the ass’s ears, as retold in Lyly’s Midas; the barber, Motto, cannot restrain himself from betraying the royal secret, ‘for it is as hard for a barber to keep a secret in his mouth, as a burning coal in his hand’ (5.2.130–1). Clerimont shocks Truewit in Epicene by reporting on Cutbeard, a barber who, he says, trims Morose in utter silence (1.2.32).
32 The ‘coincidence’ that the Staple is situated in the same building as are Pennyboy Jr’s lodgings invites us to consider the Staple and Pennyboy as comparable, if not as essentially linked; one can think of this building as a nursery of prematurity.
36 current authentic.
37 ’Fore me A mild adjuration, like ‘Upon mine honour’.
40 venting emitting (hot air).
42 projected devised.
43 lies resides.
47 emissaries See Persons of the Play, 5n. In their note to the use of the phrase ‘emissary eye’ at Und. 2.8.17, H&S suggest the direct influence of the ‘oculis emissiciis’ of Plautus’ Aulularia (The Pot of Gold), 1.1.41, a play that leaves many traces in Staple. Parr (ed. Staple) cites Discoveries, 852–3, where ‘the merciful prince’ is said to have no need of ‘emissaries, spies, intelligencers’.
54 SD This note is the first of many that summarize or gloss the action at a particular moment rather than describe the physical behaviour of characters. This particular instance is perhaps unremarkable, but it initiates a drift towards others – e.g. the ‘stage directions’ at 3.2.20ff. – that offer commentary and so resemble marginal glosses in non-dramatic texts far more than they do stage directions proper.
54 SD] He . . . talk] in right margin in F2
55 ordinaries These upscale taverns, the forerunners of the coffee-houses of the eighteenth century, were prime sources for fashionable gossip; see Dekker’s description of the typical ordinary as ‘the very Exchange for news out of all countries’ (The Gull’s Hornbook, chapter 5.)
60 Paul’s This refers less to the bookstalls in the yard of St Paul’s than to ‘Paul’s Walk’ in the middle aisle of the church (see line 70), a notorious source of gossip and political and commercial news; see John Earle’s Microcosmographie (L9) and, perhaps more relevant, Jonson’s own brilliant staging of that fantastical information exchange in Act 3 of EMO.
60 Exchange Probably the Royal Exchange, erected by Sir Thomas Gresham in the 1560s between Cornhill and Threadneedle Street, and not the New Exchange, which opened in the Strand in 1609 – though both were places of fashionable resort and important nodes in the circulation of gossip (see Chalfant (1978), 72–5). In My Lady’s Looking Glass (1616), Barnabe Riche suggests that, in his daily circuit, the ‘news-monger’ takes in Paul’s walk at 10 a.m., and then goes to the Exchange at 11 (G1v).
60 Westminster Hall Location of the Courts of Common Pleas, the King’s Bench, the Exchequer, and Chancery. Westminster Hall also housed several booksellers’ stalls.
64 For a sustained attempt to work out thematic relations among the Staple, the Jeerers, and the College of Canters (the ‘noble whimsy’ of 4.4.80ff), see R. Levin (1971), 184–91. Levin is careful to note Jonson’s indebtedness, in the conception of these new clubs and institutions, to the innovations imagined in several of Aristophanes’ comedies – female government in The Thesmophoriazusae and Ecclesiazusae and the ‘thoughtery’ of The Clouds.
65 jeerer It is fitting that modish jeering and the circulation of court gossip and news be thus closely allied.
68–70 Ambler, Buzz Jonson had used these names to evoke a similar culture of urban chatter in Neptune, the masque for 1624; see Neptune 199–200. The two emissaries are not included in the list of characters and never actually appear on stage here. The repeated reference to the two is part of Jonson’s attempt, perhaps not entirely effective, to maintain the impression that the Staple is a sizable enterprise, despite the limited theatrical resources committed to the illusion.
69 fine-paced] H&S (fine-pac’d); fine pac’d F2
70–3 The competition between Buzz and Burst appears to allude to the struggle between Matthew De Quester, a naturalized Dutchman, and Henry Billingsley, of the Merchant Adventurers, for control of the foreign post. Since 1604, De Quester had held a royal appointment as postmaster for foreign parts, and in 1625 he asserted that his authority included supervision of the Merchant Adventurers’ own sizable foreign mail service, the control of which Billingsley claimed. In 1626, Billingsley ‘sprung a leak’ when De Quester secured a royal proclamation (Steele and Crawford, 1967, 1.172) prohibiting Billingsley’s postal activities. Both men had offices near the Exchanges.
70 froy handsome, fine (from Dutch fraai, which was not uncommonly used with an ironic coloration). This passage is elaborated from Neptune.
71 Exchange] F3 (Exchange); Exhange F2
72 Burst Jonson reuses the name for a citizen in The New Inn. With a play on burse or bourse, a commodity exchange, and also on rupture (73), i.e. bankruptcy.
75 clerks –] F2 (Clerkes,)
79 good – it is my birthday –] F2 (good. It is my birth-day.)
80 betimes promptly.
80 a grudging an inclination (though the phrase also carries a hint of the pathological, since it was used to describe the uncertain symptoms at the onset of an illness). OED’s first example in this sense.
84 office.] F3 (Office.); Office,. F2
86 At what . . . market? Masters were commonly paid a premium for taking a young person into an apprenticeship, and the amount of the premium was unregulated; speaking of a market in these premiums, the young Pennyboy describes an inherent economic dynamic as if it were an actual institution.
87 want lack.
87 SD] placement, Winter; as marginal note F2
88 Aesop’s ass In the Aesopian tale of the ass and the lapdog (available in English versions by both Caxton and Brindley), the ass emulates its master’s favourite pet by trying to jump up on the master’s lap.
91 Clownish fawning of this sort is as awkward as a horse attempting to curtsy.
93 he’s] F2 (h’has)
94 made you Clothes proverbially make the man, or the tailor does; see Dent, T17∗ and Lear, 2.2.48, as well as Polonius’s more measured observation that ‘the apparel oft proclaims the man’ (Ham., 1.3.72), and line 111 below.
96 musty ill-tempered (OED, a.2 3, where the earliest citation is from 1620); but setting up a play on words with another of its senses, mouldy.
98 SD] placement, Winter; as marginal note F2
99 Estifania’s Jonson refers to a Lady Estifania in Devil (4.4.40); the two references suggest that she may have been a Spanish perfume and cosmetics dealer dwelling in London.
100 a pair i.e. pair of perfumed pockets.
100 Thy . . . so i.e. No doubt your bill will reflect this inflated estimate of cost.
101–2 what . . . invention The young Pennyboy attributes to his tailor the same imitative habits that shaped the more prestigious practice of early modern poets and visual artists. In line 104, the modern Fashioner replies by asserting the utter independence of his creativity.
103 arras tapestry.
103 tailors’ libraries Cf. Pan’s Ann., 100–1.
105 velvets . . . plushes Cf. the ‘plush-and-velvet men’ (32) of the ‘Ode to Himelf’ appended to The New Inn.
108 wittier even wittier.
109 do much upon do much to improve.
112–17 Cf. Discoveries, 1185–8.
113 would . . . up who would have deceived one utterly.
115 speed i.e. being socially in the swim.
120 you’ve] F2 (you ’haue)
121 broken torn or worn through; the sentiment is proverbial (Tilley, S53; and cf. Fort. Isles, 97).
122 peep-arm The sole example in OED.
127 out of countenance flustered, put down.
129 SD] this edn; not in F2; Enter Haberdasher, Linener, and Hatter and Shoemaker. G
130 without outside, in a waiting room (as at 1.2.19).
130 SD] placement, Winter; as marginal note F2
132 In print Exactly, perfectly (OED, Print, n. 14).
132 SDs] Parr; not in F2
132 See your self Cf. Forest 13 and Cat., 2.1.227–31.
133 O’ . . . passant Of the most fashionable design (a ‘block’ being a mould for a hat; OED, n. 4a). ‘Passant’ is the French heraldic term for walking, while looking to the dexter or right side.
137–9 Can conjure . . . presently Renaissance magi would summon demonic spirits by uttering or writing out their occult names; and they undertook to confine those spirits within the compass of carefully inscribed circles.
139 presently at once.
141 trimmed barbered.
142 SD] in right margin in F2
143 God’s so From the obscene Italian expletive, ‘Cazzo!’, though the English form seems to have lost the spark of obscenity.
144 I’d . . . spurs I was close to having forgotten my spurs. The locution may be a glancing inversion of the phrase ‘to win one’s spurs’, meaning to achieve one’s first honours: the implication would be that Pennyboy, who is generally more concerned with the trappings of distinction than with the actions by which one earns distinction, here expresses relief at not having lost sight of those trappings.
144 I’d] F2 (I’had)
1.3 ] F2 (Act. I. Scene. IIJ.)
0 SD.1 pennyboy canter] F2 (Peni-boy, Canter.)
1.3 0.1 SD canter Whereas Persons of the Play, 2, tersely indicates that the Canter is indeed Pennyboy Jr’s father in disguise, Jonson does little to disclose the secret.
0 SD.1–2 SD patched . . . money] this edn; patched and ragged cloke G
6 The military idiom begins here with the notion of a mingled muster of footsoldiers and cavalry.
9 sergeants (1) officers charged with summoning debtors to court; (2) personal attendants; (3) inferior executive military officers.
9 margents (1) margins, periphery; (2) military flanks. Canter implicitly links the commercial bill to the halberd or battleaxe, making use of a familiar pun on ‘bill’.
10 jowl jaw or cheek; thence, face.
11 SD] in right margin in F2
11 founder (1) One who sets an enterprise on its foundations; (2) also the master of a metal-foundry or mint, and thus an appropriate ‘surrogate’ parent for the young Pennyboy.
16 billmen soldiers or watchmen armed with bills, weapons with long handles and hooked blades, and here with a pun on ‘bills’ = ‘statements of account’.
19 See Persons of the play n. 2.
22 pass (1) pass over, ignore; (2) with suggestion also of passing or approving legislative bills.
22, 24 SD] placement, this edn; as marginal note at 20 in F2 (He takes the bils, and puts them vp in his pockets.)
22 SD takes What seems to be a damaged ‘k’ made it possible for Winter (ed. Staple) to misread ‘takes’ as ‘tales’, presumably construing Pennyboy’s action as tallying.
23 ale and sugar Heating and sweetening ale or wine just prior to their consumption was not uncommon; Pennyboy is being nicely hospitable.
25 squibs firecrackers.
25 master i.e. a young man now of age. (Not ‘master’ in the sense of one to whom one owes obedience.)
27 if case in case, if perhaps.
28 outer works] F2 (outerworkes)
30 pioneers Low-ranking soldiers who dug trenches and fortifications, especially for the use of explosives and seige engines.
31 casemates Vaulted chambers at the base of fortifications, used primarily by those defending a fortress against seige assault.
31 casemates] F2 (Casamates)
37 SD] in left margin in F2
34 pieces (1) coins; (2) firearms; (3) strongholds.
35 strengths strongholds.
36 amber ambergris, used for the manufacture of perfumes.
37 ad solvendum let’s settle up.
37 There . . . etc. Pennyboy is glancing over the totals on the various bills presented to him and then paying the tradesmen.
38 I look . . . totalis I only checked the totals; I can’t be bothered with itemizing each particular. (In lines 44–5, Canter ironically praises Pennyboy Junior for being so generous to tradesmen.)
40–1 A sententious truism from the pseudo-Senecan De remediis fortuitorum: ‘Aut avarus prodigus est; si prodigus, non habebit, si avarus, non habet’ (10.3). The opposition of the miserly and the prodigal will return in the play’s last lines.
40 never has money i.e. professes to have no money to be able to lend or give. Cf. Shylock in MV, 1.3.50–5.
43 chanter Gifford emends to ‘Canter’, despite the reading in F2 and F3. The folio reading (‘Chanter’) might suggest that the tradesmen are reflecting the elder Pennyboy’s singing entrance. And cf. 1.6.70–1.
43 chanter] F2 (Chanter); Canter G
47 long vacation The period during the summer outside the law terms, when the fashionable members of society went out of London.
47 cozening cheating.
51 sirrah Form of address to a social inferior or intimate acquaintance.
52 box a money-box.
52 SD] in left margin in F2 (He giues the Spurrier, to his boxe.)
53 right Ripon The high quality of ‘Ripon rowels’, the pointed wheels on spurs manufactured in the Yorkshire cathedral town of Ripon, is recorded as proverbial in Fuller’s Worthies (1662), 3A3vv. Their extraordinary strength was sometimes demonstrated, apparently, by showing them capable of striking through a coin.
57 Sir Bevis Bullion A slant allusion to the flamboyant miner Sir Bevis Bulmer (d. 1615), who worked gold mines in northern England and southern Scotland. He was knighted in 1604 and, in 1606, was granted a lease of all gold and silver mines in Scotland.
65 trade in occupy [ourselves] with; cf. Ant., 2.5.2.
65 nutmegs Nutmegs had long been used to spice ale.
1.4 ] F2 (Act. I. Scene. IIII.)
1.4 0.1 The rest of Act 1 is located in the News Office, in the same building where Pennyboy has his lodgings.
0 SD.1–2] this edn; Register. Clerke. VVoman. F2; A countrey-/woman/ waites there./ as marginal note following 11, F2
2 carpet Used to cover the table.
4, 6, 7, 8, 9 SH nathaniel] G; Cle F2
4 I had] F3; Ihad F2
6 Spinola Marquis Ambrosio Spinola, since 1605 the commander of the Spanish troops in the Netherlands, beseiged and eventually triumphed over Breda in 1625. News of Spinola’s incendiary egg-grenades will be recounted in 3.2.
7 That That which.
8 Golden Heir Pennyboy Jr, although, as D. F. McKenzie (1973) pointed out, the slightly mystifying grandeur of the phrase might have excited the flickering suspicion of a reference to Charles Stuart, newly crowned.
9 SD] Parr, subst.; not in F2
11 A groatsworth A small amount; a groat was equal in value to four pence.
12 down into the country, to a village.
13 butterwoman . . . Nathaniel The first oblique reference to Nathaniel Butter, leading figure in the nascent news-publishing industry in London. Baptized in 1583, Butter was made free of the Stationers’ Company in 1604 and began publishing news of the Thirty Years War in the 1620s. Butter’s short quarto newsbooks appeared sometimes weekly. Whereas Jonson satirizes the implausibility of these news reports and the fevered interest of their readers, other objections were also levelled at newsbooks, and Butter was occasionally arrested for disseminating information regarded as more or less incendiary. Jonson will play frequently on his name in the course of Staple. A butterwoman is a woman who makes or sells butter.
16 fit supply. Echoing The Spanish Tragedy, 4.1.70.
17 Parodying a line from The Spanish Tragedy (‘It is not now as when Andrea lived’, 3.14.111) and alluding to the soldier, Thomas Gainsford, who for several years had assisted Butter in the composing of news pamphlets. Gainsford, who had died in 1624, is similarly satirized in Captain Buz of Neptune (200) and Captain Pamphlet of ‘An Execration upon Vulcan’ (79). The Register and Clerk insist that the Staple, with its systematic record-keeping, aims to settle the trade in news: the news will no longer be trumped up on demand.
20 attend wait.
20 policy prudence, expediency.
1.5 ] F2 (Act. I. Scene. V.)
0 SD.1–2] this edn; Peniboy. Cymbal. Fitton. Tho: / Barber. Canter. F2; Enter Cymbal and Fitton, introducing Pennyboy, jun. G; Enter to them Cymbal and Fitton, introducing Pennyboy Junior; Thomas Barber and Pennyboy Canter enter after them and stand apart. / Parr
1.5 1 dainty handsome, pleasant.
4 Examiner Parr (ed. Staple) proposes that this means ‘editor’, though no such usage is recorded in the OED; 1.4.3 suggests that ‘examination’ of news is one of the primary fuctions of the Staple.
5 several separate, various.
11 coranti, gazetti broadside serial (but not strictly periodical) news sheets: the original form of English printed news referring respectively to the periods when the law courts were adjourned and when they were in session. The cycle of these terms had a powerful influence on commerce in general, particularly on the book trade (for the market in books was much quickened by the influx of litigants from the countryside), as well as on the circulation of gossip and fashion. Jonson refers to the gazetti in Volp., 5.4.83 and to the ‘Courants’ in Und. 43.81.
13 faction Apparently meant to refer to contentious groups of specifically religious character.
14 Here, and in the lines that follow, Jonson reworks Factor’s description, in News NW (30ff.), of his project of a staple for news.
14–15 Reformed . . . Protestant . . . Pontificial i.e. Calvinist, Lutheran, and Catholic.
15 of all which several of each of which.
16 day-books, characters, precedents diaries, codes, originals from which copies are taken.
20 Factors Representatives, agents.
20 Liegers Local agents (literally, ambassadors).
22 bears . . . relation makes impressive hearing (Parr, ed. Staple), deserves an impressive report.
23 Mercurius Britannicus In January 1625, Nathaniel Butter and his associates began to use the imprint ‘Printed for Mercurius Britannicus’ in most of their newsbooks. The name imitates the title of the earliest of the continental corantos, the Mercurius Gallobelgicus, first published in 1594.
24 he . . . in half i.e. his profit has increased by 50 per cent.
25 I’ll stand to it I’ll vouch for that.
25–35 For where . . . prostituted Notice the suspense and arc of this explanation, which hales within its perimeter a vast culture of interest, intrigue, concern, and supposition.
26, 27, 30, 31, 32, 34 ] dashes here are represented by a full stop in F2
29 politic (1) tactful; (2) calculating.
32 How Responding to the comma that F2 prints after ‘How’, H&S detect a deprecating reference to Edmund Howes, who extended Stow’s Annals. Jonson’s disdain for Howes is made plain in News NW, 21–8 and note 22.
32 How] F3; How, F2
33–4 He . . . books The unsettling phrase, which figures reading – or, perhaps, the physical opening of books or the cutting of their pages – as a kind of deflowering or even rape, invites us to puzzle over the meaning of the formulaic phrase ‘gentle reader’, by challenging the tenderness of readers and that refinement that ostensibly comes from their high social standing (another meaning of ‘gentle’).
36–41 Because the planned monopoly of the market in news is to put printed news out of business, pastors and justices of the peace will no longer be lured into groundless inquests by the sort of printed accounts of rural enormities reported in News NW, ‘your printed conundrums of the Serpent in Sussex or the witches bidding the Devil to dinner at Derby’ (47–9). That the Staple traffics as much in such accounts as in the foreign political and military reportage in which Butter specializes is highly polemical: Jonson implies that news-culture is animated by an indiscriminate appetite for the sensational.
37 Inquisition Here, an investigation or inquest, but the phrasing (especially the use of the direct object) is meant to evoke the fervid ecclesiastical tribunals that sought out and punished heretics across Catholic Europe.
42–61 Here again Jonson is reworking the Factor’s reflections in News NW (30–44) on the publishing of news.
43 Will be abused Are willfully inclined to be hoodwinked.
44 In . . . lies in believing the lies that.
45 As . . . yourselves As much as you take pleasure in manufacturing the lies.
49 leaves ceases.
51–4 Disdainful quips suggesting that print especially provoked the credulous to belief were commonplace; cf. WT, 4.4.249–50.
58 stationer member of the book trade; here, a publisher or, perhaps, a bookseller.
59 buttering Cf. 1.4.13n.
64 assure confirm the authenticity of.
66 policy formal certification.
69 Wit . . . Order H&S suggest an imitation here of the titles of such morality plays as The Marriage of Wit and Science (c. 1569) and The Marriage of Wit and Wisdom (c. 1579), though the effect of such imitation is, of course, gently parodic.
70 invite the times attract contemporary taste.
74 polite Used in its etymological sense, ‘polished’; cf. Poet., 3.1.24.
79 happily fortunately.
81 as new as day Proverbial. Jonson denigrates the idiom at The New Inn, 4.3.31.
84 SD.1 Thomas . . . forward] Parr, subst.; not in F2
84, 86, 87, 89 SH nathaniel] G; Cla. F2
85, 88, 91, 93 SD] in left margin in F2
85 SD Rejoiceth . . . in This marginal comment in F2 directs Pennyboy Jr to speak intimately with Tom of his delight in being the subject of Nathaniel’s news that a young heir has just come of age.
86 this day seventh-night a week ago.
88 he the son, Pennyboy Jr.
89 An . . . beggar Pennyboy Canter has brought news of the father’s death and has been ‘entertained’ (90) or recruited to serve the young man since.
93 put him in Either (1) put him, Canter, in your newspaper; or (2) give the clerkship to Tom.
93 angel A coin worth about 10s.
97 roll news account.
98 How . . . us How you acquired this information about us.
102 essay . . . piece Both are terms for a specimen by which a practitioner demonstrates his or her abilities in a craft – in this case, a narrative that demonstrates skilled newsmongering.
104 pragmatic businessman.
105 nemo-scit no one knows.
105 ’Tis as It depends how.
106 just moiety exact half share.
106 moiety] F2 (meoytie)
107 moiety] F2 (moeytie)
113 underparted to divided between.
114 just exact.
115 Ha’ you Have you yet hired.
117 carry it prevail.
117 parts qualities.
120 decayed stationer bankrupt bookseller or publisher; see 1.5.58.
123 churchyard Location of many bookshops, in the yard of St Paul’s.
123 west door Where advertisements for employment were posted in St Paul’s.
125 pretty apt.
126–7 Was . . . university Alluding to one of the more notorious forms of the debasement of honours under James I, in this case a debasement of academic honours and not the usual debasement of titles of nobility. During state visits to Oxford (1605) and Cambridge (1615), academic degrees were conferred on James’s entire retinue.
129 cittern Barbers often kept this predecessor of the modern guitar on the premises for the entertainment of their customers; see Epicene, 3.5.48 and Vision, 85. In Love Rest., 75–6, Robin Goodfellow recounts his attempt to gatecrash a masque by pretending to be one of the musicians.
129 cittern] F2 (Cythern)
132 snaps snatches.
136 SD He . . . place Pennyboy Jr gives Cymbal £50 as the price of placing Tom in the office clerkship.
136, 144 SD] in right margin in F2
137 tell count.
140 SD] G (Re-enter Nathaniel)
141 SH nathaniel] G; Cla. F2
144 creature dependant, client; one who owes his status to another.
144 SD They . . . Canter Cymbal, Fitton, Clerk, etc., say their goodbyes and prepare to exit a few lines later.
145 Keep me fair Keep me in your good graces.
147 SD] G (Exeunt all but P. jun. and P. Cant.)
1.6 ] F2 (Act. I. Scene. VI.)
0 SD] G; Picklock. Peni-boy. Iv. / P. Canter. F2
1.6 3 cypress gauzy fabric; when dyed dark, cypress was often used for veils and other mourning garments.
4 smutting black or gloomy (OED, citing this as the sole use in this sense).
5 twelvepenny broad ribbons The broadest ribbons commonly available.
6 labels The ribbons on either side of a bishop’s mitre (OED, sb. 1, 1).
6 made shift devised means.
9–11 Burial marshalled by heralds was an expensive prerogative of the nobility, too expensive for the frugal elder Pennyboy. Hiring trumpeters would cost less, but Pennyboy regards even that as a superfluous noise and expense.
16 so opportunely] F2 (soopportunely)
17 compounded arranged. Since ‘to compound’ often means ‘to make a payment’, Picklock’s phrasing here may imply that Pennyboy had made some payment to ensure that his son does not fall under the jurisdiction of the Court of Wards (as does Grace Welborn in Bart. Fair).
20 of him in losing him (my father).
20 bailiff steward, manager, protector.
26 carry a mine dig a tunnel for explosives, to undermine; cf. 1.3.30.
29 Was Who was.
34 schedule codicil.
35 SD] Parr, subst.; not in F2
36 upon . . . blessing as per his charge and concomitant with the receipt of his blessing.
39 Cornish Cornwall had a long-standing reputation, albeit sometimes exaggerated, for mineral wealth.
40–2 Pecunia . . . Mines See The Persons of the Play, 14n.
43 Ophir In 1 Kings, 9.28, King Solomon fetches gold from Ophir, a passage that, Parr notes (ed. Staple), made Solomon the object of special alchemical interest; Job, 28.16 indicates that Ophir was a proverbial source of riches. See Alch., 2.1.4.
44 Subterranean The appellation consolidates the association of Pecunia’s family with both mining and dirt.
45 her three names See the discussion at 2 Int. 18–23.
46 Aurelia Clara Golden (from Lat., aureus), bright or renowned (from Lat., clara).
48 contracted family diminished entourage.
48 secretary See Persons of the Play, 19n.
52–3 two . . . fellow Neither Pawn nor his fellow groom is listed in Persons of the Play, nor in any stage directions as part of Pecunia’s entourage.
58 draw attract.
58 woman,] F2 (woman!)
60 they women generally.
61 motions spectacles; esp. puppet-shows.
62 bravery glamour, splendor.
67 stall-fed fattened like cattle.
67 crammed divines overfed clergymen; cf. The New Inn, 5.1.18.
68 Make love Pay court.
68 room] F2 (rome)
73 crack (1) curtsy to the breaking point; (2) fart.
76 Gives out Lets it be known that.
76 go upon attack frontally.
77 mouthing pompous speaking (and perhaps with a play on the cannon’s mouth).
78 Piedmantle See Persons of the Play, 10n. In the English College of Arms or College of Heralds, the thirteen-member office that presided over heraldic matters, there were four pursuivants or junior heraldic officers, each of whom had a traditional name; ‘Piedmantle’ parodies ‘Bluemantle’, one of those four names. The satire on Piedmantle keeps the play sharply attuned to what were felt to be the abuses perpetrated by the College of Arms: charged with the supervision of funerary pomp, the certification of genealogies, and the granting and proper display of coats of arms, its members had enriched themselves by selling coats of arms, and thus vulgarizing gentlemanly status in much the same way that the king was felt to have degraded aristocracy by his promiscuous awarding of titles. The College had no strong tradition of internal harmony, but it grew increasingly fractious in the early 1620s. Thus, Jonson’s play keeps gesturing towards an institution that noisily demonstrated the breakdown of traditional chivalric culture.
79 derive her trace her lineage.
79 derive] F3; deriuer F2
83 Apollo The god of poetry.
88 The line re-emphasizes the gist of the opening scenes, in which Pennyboy Jr is presented as made, not born.
90 Fear me not Don’t worry about me.
93 worthy of a chronicle The recollection of Theocritus (Idylls, 3.37–8), where a twitch in the eye suggests to the lover that he is soon to see his beloved, has mock-heroic force, inviting us to measure the inflated sense of courtship – and, here, the pursuit of Money – as a kind of heroism.
First Intermean An intermean in a dialogue between acts of a play.
1 gossip See Persons of the Play, 32n.
7 Yes, she must be quite a woman when two such scoundrels act as her agents.
8–10 In keeping with the spirit of sceptical reduction that infuses the gossips’ conversation, Tattle here suggests that the aristocratic pursuit of royal favour is merely a kind of begging, however glamorous. Cf. Brome’s The Court Beggar (1640), which focuses precisely on this state of affairs.
13 physic medicine.
13 quacksalver quack. (From early modern Dutch kwaksalver and German Quacksalber (OED)).
15 tolerable passable.
17–18 I . . . wit Perhaps a valedictory reference to William Rowley, the King’s Men’s clown in the mid-1620s. Rowley died within weeks of the first performance of Staple; see 3.2.205–6 and n.
19 commit (1) consign to prison; (2) perform.
First Intermean 19 commit] F3; cemmit F2
20 toy whim, fancy.
20 no man . . . eye Proverbial (Dent, E252), meaning that no man can impugn his character.
26 there was . . . in’t i.e. a play without a fool or Vice-figure and a devil is no play at all. That Tattle’s disdainful preference for the conventions of morality plays is distinctly old-fashioned and low-brow is suggested by John Gee’s observation, cited by Gifford, that ‘It was wont, when an interlude was to be acted in a country-town, the first question that an hob-nail spectator made, before he would pay his penny to go in, was whether there be a devil and a fool in the play. And if the fool get vpon the devil’s back and beat him with his coxcomb till he roar, the play is complete’ (The Foot out of the Snare, 1624, K2v).
26 for . . . still (1) always in favour of the devil; (2) destined to go to hell.
31 matrimony According to Parr (ed. Staple), this is an allusion to the play Grim the Collier of Croydon, in which Pluto decrees that all devils should wear horns after a minor demon returns with horns from a sojourn on earth, where he has married and acquired the horns of a cuckold.
33 errant A malapropism for ‘arrant’, or possibly an error in transcription or a variant spelling.
34 read too Kifer (ed. Staple) detects a reference here to Jonson’s claiming benefit of clergy (by demonstrating his ability to read) after killing Gabriel Spencer in 1598. Jonson repeats the joke about being able to read as well as write in Pan’s Ann., 206–7.
35–6 Mistress Trouble-Truth Presumably a Puritan.
36 dissuaded us argued against our going.
36–8 told us . . . Westminster Here, as in Censure’s speech in the Third Intermean following, Tattle expresses a tangle of concerns: that the theatre is a devilish institution with nearly occult power over the imagination; that the dramatic poet may be abusing his broad cultural responsibility as a teacher of morals; and that by writing plays for boy-actors the poet contributes to the corruption of children who should properly be in school. (Jonson had himself been a student at Westminster School.)
38 Doctor Lamb An astrologer jailed for witchcraft in 1608, convicted for rape of an eleven-year-old girl in 1623, but pardoned by King James.
42 practise (1) re-enact the vain gestures and devices seen at the theatre; (2) connive.
45 proper attractive.
46 of his inches with respect to height or – by extension, as here – rank or general stature.
47 patriot Though Jonson uses the term in its general sense in Sejanus (4.290) and Volpone (4.1.95), in their editions Winter and Kifer allege that it here takes colour from association with a nascent anti-Stuart faction in Parliament.
48–9 He would . . . came A farcical battle between the devil and the foolish Vice, sometimes culminating in the devil carrying the Vice off to hell on his back, with the Vice battering the devil about the ears as they go, was a staple of such popular plays as W. Wager’s Enough Is as Good as a Feast (printed 1570?) and Robert Greene’s Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay (printed 1594). Cf. Devil, 1.1.37 and 91 and Informations, 319–21.
50 The Devil of Edmonton A tremendously popular comedy, The Merry Devil of Edmonton was first performed c. 1603, first printed in 1608, and regularly revived and reprinted; see the prologue to Devil.
51 The surviving version of the play contains no such episode, but The Life and Death of the Merry Devil of Edmonton, with the Pleasant Pranks of Smug the Smith (1631), by T. B., includes the story in which the conjurer, Peter Fabel, having bargained with a devil to spare his life until an inch-long candle should burn itself out, pocketed the candle before the devil could set it alight.
54 shrewd unfortunate, injurious.
56 jade brokendown horse.
56 staggers A disease of large animals that causes them to stagger. Cf. Shr., 3.2.49.
57 spice of ’em case of the staggers – but presumably produced, in the case of the smith, by drinking too much. Jonson makes roughly the same joke at Bart. Fair, 4.4.4.
59 he] F3; hec F2
60 I . . . much I construed it differently.
60 so.] this edn; so, F2; so? F3
63 Expect Wait.
63 intend (1) pay attention to; (2) anticipate.
2.1 Act 2 takes place in a room in the house of Pennyboy Sr.
2.1 ] F2 (Act. II. Scene. I.)
6 Your] F3; You F2
2 face The side of a coin that bears the effigy, ‘heads’.
4–5 fall’n . . . estimation For nearly a century, the maximum legal interest rate had been set at ten per cent; in 1624, that maximum rate was cut to eight per cent. See below, 2.3.32–49 and 3.4.34.
9–10 I have . . . of I’m not handsome enough to be a lover.
13–18 ‘There . . . pie-crust.’] Kifer; There . . . pye-crust. F2
15–16 one . . . sleep one that never dines well, even in his sleep. That misers deprived themselves by day, but feasted in their dreams was proverbial, according to Winter. Cf. Poet., 1.2.68.
16 acates are delicacies that are.
22 grace favour.
24 macerating mortifying.
29 worship veneration, respect.
31 free generous.
32 would . . . in wish that everyone were a beneficiary of.
33 They . . . few There are only a few.
35–6 Yourself . . . almighty The debt to the opening speech of Volp., pervasive in this scene, is especially strong here, but Jonson is also recalling Horace Epistles, 1.6.37ff., where Horace invents the title ‘Regina’ (i.e. Queen) Pecunia, and, above all, Aristophanes. The present exchange is modelled largely on the interview in the Plutus in which Chremylus demonstrates that Plutus is more powerful than Zeus. In Forest 12, Jonson celebrates ‘almighty gold’ (2) with similar irony.
35 proper native, own.
38 use With a pun on usury.
38–43 All this . . . Pecunia’s Jonson is not only adapting Aristophanes’ Plutus but also Horace’s Satires, 2.3.37: omnis enim res, / virtus, fama, decus, divina humanaque pulchris / divitiis parent; quas qui construxerit, ille / clarus erit, fortis, iustus, ‘Indeed, all things, divine and human, serve the beauty of riches – virtue, reputation, honour; and he who hoards it up will be famous, strong, and just.’ In a similar passage from Epistles, 1.6.36–7, Horace names Pecunia as she who gives wife, dowry, friends, allegiances, status, and beauty.
38 this nether world the world, beneath the heavens.
42 had not would not have.
43 style title.
51 complexion good health.
52 cold rheums runny nose.
53 green-sicknesses An anaemia to which young women were thought to be especially susceptible.
53 agues fevers.
55 grave honourable.
60 presently without delay.
62 SD] G
2.2 ] F2 (Act. II. Scene. II.)
0 SD] G; Pyed-mantle. Broker. / Peni-boy.Sen. F2
2.2 0 SD piedmantle See Persons of the Play, 10n. and 1.6.78n.
2 SD] Parr, subst.; not in F2
7 present present myself (and, perhaps, make her the present of her pedigree; for a similar usage, see Volp., 3.5.12).
9 so noble study Jonson shared his teacher Camden’s scholarly interest in heraldry. But Jonson could be as suspicious of esoteric symbol systems as he was fascinated by them, and that suspicion was reinforced by a distaste for the proliferation of titles and cheapening of heraldic honours that James I sponsored.
10 pursuivant See Persons of the play, 10n.
10 pursuivant] Wh; Pursiuant F2
11 deduced her traced her lineage.
12 Indies] F3 (Indies); Indi’es F2
15 brought her traced her lineage.
16 you . . . else any genealogical endeavour would be meaningless were it not to trace her lineage to well before the creation of mankind.
16 nothing, else.] Kifer; nothing else, F2
17 Your . . . Adam That the earth was created as a kind of treasure trove of precious metals and gems was a commonplace; that the human ransacking of that treasure trove expressed infernal allegiances was also a commonplace (see, for example, Ovid, Met., 1.125–42 or Boethius, Consolation of Philosophy, Bk. 2, metrum 5).
18 Roll five-and-twenty These would be the records of the College of Arms.
20 SD] Parr; not in F2
21 armory the science of heraldry.
21–2 Elements . . . Accidence Edmund Bolton’s Elements of Armories (1610) and Gerard Legh’s Accidence of Armory (1562). Accidence is that part of grammar which treats of inflections, or ‘accidents’, of words; the word is used metaphorically in Legh’s title to imply that the book treats the rudiments of armoury.
27 induce introduce (Lat. inducere, lead in).
28 stately haughty.
29 scrivener Scriveners, professional scribes, often wrote legal form-letters and engaged in loan-sharking.
29 can can accomplish, has influence. That Pecunia esteems Band nearly as much as Statute, despite Band’s inferior lineage, suggests one of the chief ways in which Pecuniary values have eclipsed traditional, aristocratic ones.
31 Rose Most, but not all, sealing wax was red.
34 wrought manipulated.
35 tenement This can refer to either a land holding or an apartment, both meanings being applicable here.
38 it i.e. access to Pecunia.
40–1 this . . . sanguine ‘This’ probably refers to a coin surreptitiously given to Broker by Piedmantle. ‘Complexion’ can refer both generally to humoural temperament – blood was one of the four humours and its correlative temperament is ‘sanguine’ – and particularly to the tincture of the face. Since ‘red’ was a common epithet of gold, and was often used to denote the colour of gold, ‘sanguine’ would be doubly appropriate to a bribe made by means of a gold coin (the obverse or ‘heads’ side of which would bear a ‘red’ complexion).
42 ward Four senses are relevant here: (1) fortification; (2) part of the mechanism of a lock; (3) protectorate; (4) wardship.
45 but your name I ask only your name.
49 of yourself on your own initiative.
51–2 or . . . Or either . . . or.
52 to appear in to endorse (anticipating the astronomical metaphor of lines 54–6).
56 concentrics The metaphor derives from traditional astronomy: since antiquity, the motion of heavenly bodies was understood as determined by the rotation of crystalline spheres. The heavenly bodies were originally imagined as embedded in these invisible but material spheres, but later the spheres came to be conceived of as immaterial, even abstract; with the exception of the spheres of planetary moons, all the spheres were understood to be arrayed with the earth at their centres, though the model eventually required adjustment by means of a great deal of eccentric array in order to ‘save the appearances’. Broker evokes a much simpler system, a concentric array of servants around the Lady Pecunia.
59 SD mouth derisive grimace.
59, 61, 63 SD] in left margin in F2
61 SD] Kifer subst.; He ieeres/ him againe. / as marginal note F2; He jeers him again. F3; Exit Piedmantle. G
62 blasted blighted.
62–3 eyrie / Of kestrels Broker is bringing out a latent referent in Piedmantle’s exit line, transforming the sense of ‘lighting on Her Grace as she’s taking the air’ into a scene from hawking, in which the kestrel-Piedmantle pursues his prey, Pecunia – unsuccessfully, as Broker imagines the scene. Clerimont is similarly dismissive of the ‘cast of kestrels’, Daw and La Foole, in Epicene, 4.4.154.
62 eyrie] F2 (ayrie)
63 SD] this edn; Old Peny-/boy leaps / as marginal note F2
65 heard] F3; hcard F2
65 thy dispatches your skilful deflection of petitioners.
66 in] F3; it F2
68 unctuous See Alch., 2.2.83.
69 vessel . . . stuff Kifer (ed. Staple) explains this as a container of drippings and skimmings from cooking and compares Bart. Fair, 2.5.60.
69 kitchen stuff] Kifer; kitchinstuffe F2
2.3 ] F2 (Act.II. Scene.IIJ.)
0 SD] G; Broker. Peny-boy. Se. / Lick-finger F2
2.3 1 kidney A complicated, idiosyncratic epithet. The term associates Lickfinger with the raw materials of his trade, but since kidney is also a term for ‘temperament’ or ‘character’, Pennyboy Sr seems to be derisively implying that Lickfinger’s tardiness is entirely, if disappointingly, typical.
2 To . . . you To wish you had them (i.e. the pox, which Jonson treats as a plural, ‘pocks’).
5 Knows Who knows.
10 just precise.
10 still always.
11 light-foot Ralph This may be the ‘Rafe’ of ‘A Grace by Ben Jonson Extempore before King James’ (8 and n.), ‘the Countess [of Bedford]’s man who won the race’, identified in Aubrey’s brief life of Jonson as a drawer at the Swan Tavern near Charing Cross. See Electronic Edition, Early Lives.
13 two stone 28 pounds. H&S observe that this is the same amount by which Ursula claims, in Bart. Fair (2.2.65), to be ‘dropping’ away as the result of her exertions at the Fair and the vexations that she suffers there.
14 posting hastening.
16 knots intricate designs; cf. Bart. Fair, ‘I do water the ground in knots as I go, like a great garden-pot’ (2.2.44–5) and, similarly, Tub, 1.1.73–4. And cf. 1H4, 2.2.116.
17 dropped . . . pan dripped (sweat) like oil dripping from a slotted skimmer as it raises fritters from the frying pan.
19 roasted . . . butter A rich, sweet pastry, stiff enough to be spit-roasted.
19 SD sweeps wipes.
19 SD] in right margin in F2
20 Believe . . . list Proverbial (Dent, B264.11), and the title of a play by Philip Massinger in 1631.
20 stayed of purpose delayed in order.
21 mortified hung (OED, Mortify v.6). Fowl, especially game, was hung to tenderize it. The process conferred a ‘ripeness’ of flavour that was prized by those who had acquired the taste for such things; dismissive of such gastronomic sophistication, Pennyboy Sr insists that Lickfinger has taken his time so that Pennyboy Sr’s meat might deteriorate, and so be had more cheaply.
23 jealousy suspicion.
25–6 As indicated at 2.1.16–17, Pennyboy Sr is selling off meat and fish that he has received as gifts.
32 bating . . . hundred See 2.1.4–5n. above. (Bating = abating, reducing.)
34–5 Sir . . . out Although Lickfinger seems unpersuaded by the argument that the reduction in the maximum interest rate would make it more difficult for the poor to borrow, as fewer would be willing to risk lending to those of dubious credit, Pennyboy Sr was not the only economic thinker to resist the new rate cap: John Whistler had made Pennyboy’s argument in the Commons on 8 March 1624 (Jones, 1989, 194); Sir Thomas Culpeper had countered the argument in his 1621 Tract against Usury. Note that, at line 43, Pennyboy Sr claims that it was his custom, before the imposition of the eight per cent cap, charitably to forgive two of the allowed ten per cent: in lines 47–9, he focuses his protest on the fact that the lower rate is now compulsory. See also Owls, 175 and n.
35–6 Solons . . . Pompilii Solon was Athens’s great lawgiver of the fifth century BC; Numa Pompilius – ‘Numae Pompilii’ is the plural form – was the revered legendary king of early Rome.
38 I . . . to’t I’ll guarantee it, as at 1.5.25.
41 moneys] F2 (moneies)
43 SD] Kifer; not in F2
46 theirs i.e. the poor’s.
48 They The legislators.
49 shortened our arms inhibited our capacity for bounty.
51 play . . . Fleet will have your ears cropped in the Fleet prison. The phrase seems also to denote a game, either real or imagined.
53 jack smart-aleck. ‘Saucy jack’ and ‘Jack-sauce’ (Tub, 3.3.47) were proverbial.
53 that’s once. that’s certain. Cf. Mrs Pinchwife’s summary announcement in Wycherley, The Country Wife: ‘Nay, I will go abroad, that’s once’ (3.1.69).
55 his i.e. Broker’s.
56 bushel of eggs i.e. enough to fill an 8-gallon container.
61 custard . . . mayor’s At the Lord Mayor’s Feast, held annually on 28 October, it was customary for the mayor’s fool to leap into a huge custard; cf. Devil, 1.1.97. The casual reference here reinforces the opposition between Pennyboy Sr’s miserliness and a culture of festive ‘superfluity’ (66).
69, 70 indent It was customary to sever the two halves of a legal document produced in duplicate in such a way as to produce an indented – i.e. toothlike, notched, or crooked – edge: the match of the two edges authenticated the document and confirmed the contract. Thus, ‘to indent’ came to mean to make a contract or, less formally, to enter into an agreement or a bargain. Lickfinger is, of course, insisting that Pennyboy Sr’s business dealings are ‘crooked’. (The latter replies using ‘indent’ to mean ‘specify by contract’.)
72 spend Pennyboy Sr’s use of the term here to mean ‘serve’ and ‘consume’ is characteristically idiosyncratic.
73 red-deer pies savoury venison pastries; ‘red deer’ designates the species Cervus elaphus.
74 Cast Arrange it.
74 coffins pie-crusts. Lickfinger will keep the sepulchral association of the term in play with ‘mouldy’ (76), as does Titus in Titus, 5.2.186–9, but this term for a pastry shell was well established and could pass unremarked.
75–6 I would . . . house I wish to have a reputation for hospitality.
76 mouldy rotten, though this primary sense is linked, by pun, to two meanings of mould: pie-crust and the earth of a grave.
80 reversion remnants. The word was most commonly used in a technical sense, as a right to receive a property or office when the current holder’s term of use ended or the current holder died. Lickfinger thus sustains the generally legalistic and morbid verbal character of the exchange.
82 muster-master officer charged with keeping the muster-list of a military company.
82 what plover’s that what inexperienced dupe, or ‘pigeon’, is that.
83 pull pluck, take advantage of.
83 green inexperienced. Cf. Bart. Fair, 4.2.49–50: ‘Was there ever green plover so pulled?’
2.4 ] F2 (Act. II. Scene. IV.)
0 SD] G; Fitton. Peni-boy. Se. Almanach. / Shvnfield. Madrigal. Lick- / Finger. Broker. F2
2.4 1 money-bawd usurer. Jonson repeats this satiric naming in the list of characters in Mag. Lady, where Sir Moth Interest is described as ‘an usurer, or money-bawd’. The essential commonality of usury and pimping is also the theme of the terse poem, Epigr. 57.
1 We’re] this edn; w’are F2
4 lineation, H&S; two lines F2, divided after ‘Our selues.’
7, 17, 23 SD] in right margin in F2
8 as as if.
11 pickled i.e. brined.
12 fresh-man The play on words is admittedly weak: ‘freshman’ (meaning ‘novice’; cf. 16 below) being pronounced so that ‘fresh’ might also imply both ‘not salty’ and ‘not putrid’.
13 rogue.] F3 (Rogue.); Rogue, F2
19 singing resounding. The term sets up the pun on ‘heir’.
19, 20 heir Pennyboy Sr is punning on ‘air’ (song). For his part, Fitton seems to use the term quite metaphorically; Pennyboy Sr’s response suggests that he understands it thus and therefore refuses any sort of loan because he knows that Madrigal stands only to inherit cultural riches, none of which are of use to the miserly man.
24 of years mature, of adult status.
27 costive reluctant, unyielding. This general sense of the term – as in Alch., 1.1.28 and 2.3.26 – derives from a primary and more particular meaning: constipated. Almanac keeps the medical sense alive in his next lines.
28 court’sy generosity. Costive courtesy is sardonically paradoxical.
28–9 pill . . . melancholy. The proverbial phrase ‘a pill to purge melancholy’ (Dent, P324.11) would provide a title not only for Thomas D’Urfey’s celebrated collection of bawdy songs from 1699, but for volumes of poems by Thomas Jordan (1639) and James Hind (1652).
31 drench draught.
33 hare Context makes the pun on ‘heir’ nicely complicated. Fitton has proposed ‘a fine fresh pullet’ as part of the cure for Pennyboy Sr’s melancholy, but since ‘pullet’ (like many terms for poultry) was slang for a female prostitute, the prescription was ambiguous. Lickfinger’s counter-proposal of a hare/heir implies that Pennyboy Sr’s taste might better be satisfied otherwise.
33 hare] Kifer; Haire F2; Heir F3; ’are Parr
35 Ram Alley Now Hare Place, this passageway near the Inns of Court was notoriously disreputable, a place of cookshops, brothels, and taverns. Staple was not the first play to make a theatrical spectacle of this location, having been preceded by Lording Barry’s Ram-Alley of 1611.
36 dosser pannier, apparently to be carried on the back (Fr. dos), as Cotgrave’s French–English dictionary of 1611 makes clear by offering as definitions for hotte, ‘Scuttle, Dosser, Basket to carry on the back’.
38–9 I must . . . devil. Lickfinger and Almanac are playing on the proverb, ‘He must needs go whom the devil drives’ (Dent, D278∗). And cf. Tub, 3.9.42.
39 SD] placement, F3, following 41; as marginal note following 44 F2
41 cogging jacks cheating rascals.
41 covey o’wits Jonson is here recycling a phrase from the ‘Epistle Answering unto One that asked to be Sealed of the Tribe of Ben’ (Und. 47), written in about 1623. In that poem he distinguishes true wits from such depraved sneerers as ‘jest / On all souls that are absent’ (16–17), that ‘covey of wits / That censure all the town’ (22–3). Jeering at the absent is also scourged at Epigr. 115, 16–19.
42 still call together perennially gather themselves. Although the phrase, ‘call together’ is idiomatic, ‘call’ carries the supplementary sense of ‘cry out’, and thus evokes the image of a small covey of scavenger birds cawing over a carcass.
43 eyrie a brood of birds of prey. For the figurative use, see Ham., 2.2.315.
48 him absent Cf. Epigr. 115.15–17.
49 spake . . . doublet! Alludes to ventriloquists or, rather, to engastrimanteis or belly-prophets, of whom the most celebrated in antiquity was Eurykles of Athens. The translators who prepared the Septuagint cast the false oracles of Leviticus, 19.31 and Isaiah, 8.19 as ventriloquists, and Jonson is plainly recalling the rendering of the latter passage in the King James version (the translators of which had their eyes on the Septuagint), where Isaiah warns Israel to avoid necromancers and the ventriloquizing ‘wizards that peep, and that mutter’.
50 fishmonger’s sleeves Many editors follow Gifford in alleging a recollection here of the opening of Suetonius’s life of Horace, where Suetonius reports that Horace’s father was rumoured to have been a seller of salted fish and that someone once taunted Horace by remarking how often he had seen the poet’s father wipe his nose on his arm.
50 fishmonger’s] F3 (Fishmon-/gers); Fishmonger F2
51 currier’s A currier is a leather-dresser (though the term can also denote one who grooms horses). Leather dressers, like tanners, were notorious for their stench.
51 parboiled The spelling in F2, ‘perboil’d’, may imply ‘thoroughly boiled’ (hence, wrinkled), rather than the more common sense, ‘partly boiled’ (hence, mottled, like the dyer’s apron at 52). Cf. EMI (F), 4.1.11.
52 dyer’s apron (which would have been stained and blotchy).
53 sodden stewed.
53 posset curd hot drink of milk curdled in spiced wine or ale.
57 ethnic non-Christian.
58 stock blockhead.
65 clear settle up.
66–7 Cf. Neptune, 202–3.
67 Poulter Poulterer, dealer in poultry.
68 pure utter.
69 brave splendid.
72 practice Though it has its modern sense of professional activity, the word carries the connotation of deceit.
72 tripe-wives female dressers of animal stomachs to serve as food. On the irresponsible murderousness of doctors, cf. Volp., 1.4.32–3.
73 urinal Used in medical diagnoses.
74 Ephemerides Almanacs featuring astrological prognostications; cf. Alch., 4.6.48.
74 figures horoscopes. In the opening of Alch., Face threatens to expose his master Subtle’s deceits, among them ‘Erecting figures in your rows of houses’ (1.1.96), where houses refers to the twelve houses of the Zodiac.
75 turning . . . candle-rents flipping through the pages of almanacs for predictions of revenues from rental properties.
76 And] F3; Aud F2
76 houses See 74n. above.
77 almutens Prevailing planets in a horoscope. Thus Stargaze in Massinger’s The City Madam: ‘Mars almuthen, or lord of the horoscope’ (2.2.61–2).
77 almacantaras Parallels of altitude that provide a means of measuring distance upward from the horizon to the pole of the stellar sphere. (A good analogy is the way in which the parallels of latitude offer a means of measuring distance from the equator to the north and south poles of the terrestrial sphere.)
78 for Pennyboy as far as Pennyboy Sr is concerned.
79 mere bawd (1) complete rascal; (2) a money bawd (as at 1 above).
84 Like a lame cobbler The cobbler’s work is conspicuously sedentary; a lame cobbler would be pre-eminently immobile.
92 these large attributes i.e. those of dogs and curs.
93 pocky pock-marked or pox-infected.
96–7 fistula . . . ano a fistula, or abnormal tract, connecting the perianal area to the bowel; in ano, in the anus.
97 dog-leech Perhaps a term for veterinarian; as likely simply a pejorative term for doctor or for any scoundrel who pretends to scientific expertise (as at Alch., 1.1.103).
98 were ’olesome] this edn; were’holesome F2
100–1 London . . . last London Bridge was notorious for being in perpetual disrepair, hence the children’s Singing game, ‘London Bridge Is Fallen Down’, which seems to date from the thirteenth century. According to Thomas Middleton, no matter how much was spent in maintaining its twenty arches, ‘what the advantage of one tide performs, comes another tide presently and washes away’ (The Black Book, C3v).
101 thinks,] F3; thinkes. F2
102 log Figurative, but not proverbial. In effect, Fitton is calling Pennyboy Sr something like a blockhead.
104 strike strike out, erase.
106 quit the scores pay the bill.
108 butcher’s,] F3 (Butchers); Butehers. F2
111 milords] this edn; my Lords, F2
112 cogging jacks See 41n. above.
113 Under the rose i.e. sub rosa; ‘[I tell you] confidentially’. The OED gives 1546 as the first English occurrence of the phrase, but Tilley gives it as proverbial (Tilley R185); cf. Beaumont and Fletcher’s Beggar’s Bush: ‘if this make us speak / Bold words, anon: ’tis all under the Rose / Forgotten’ (2.3.22–4).
113 I could I’m very tempted to.
115–16 Cf. Epigr. 107–31 (‘Come: be not angry: you are Hungry: eat’). Jonson recycles many aspects of this epigram, ‘To Captain Hungry’, in Staple and, particularly, in the character of Shunfield: the epigram inspects the cachet of continental news and mocks the cowardly soldier who ‘dines out’ on his war stories.
106 SD] in right margin in F2
117 No Pecunia] F3 (No Pecunia); No, Pecunia, F2
119 Blushet Blusher. Used again at 5.5.18, the term may have been Jonson’s coinage: the OED gives only two citations of the word. The other is in Highgate, 221.
120–1 Alluding to the story recounted in the Odyssey (12.39–44 and 158–200) of how the seafaring Odysseus indulged his desire to hear the enchanting song of the Sirens, which had lured so many sailors to their doom, while his men rowed on unmoved by the song, for they had plugged their ears with beeswax. Here, Pennyboy Sr ignores the ‘songs’ of Fitton and Almanac, associated respectively with Courtiership and Natural Philosophy.
122 Provide . . . for you When you provide yourself with better names, you will be rewarded. Pennyboy Sr suggests that the Jeerers will have better prospects, if they will address potential benefactors using better names than ‘dog’ or ‘cur’ (90), the ‘large attributes’ (92) with which they insulted him earlier; he also implies that without better professional names than ‘Courtier’ and ‘Philosopher’ (or the personal names associated with those professions, ‘Fitton’ and ‘Almanac’), they cannot hope to inspire him to generosity.
123 harpy rapacious person. Jonson’s use of the term to refer to Pennyboy Sr is unusual, since it is usually reserved for women.
123 it he.
124 SD] in right margin in F2
128 That . . . favour Fitton is remarking that having been admitted to the ladies’ presence offers Madrigal (and his fellows) a happy opportunity for further ingratiation. But the line is available to witty misconstruction – as if Fitton were saying how lucky the ladies are to have had the opportunity to hear Madrigal’s verses, an assertion that would certainly invite the ironists in the audience to laughter.
130 Mas’] Wh, subst.; Mas. F2
132 Amphibian (Cf. Epicene, 1.4.20, where Otter is described as ‘animal amphibium’).
132 SH almanac] F2 (Alm.); Mad. Wh
135 Helicon Seemingly an appellation for Madrigal; ‘Helicon’ is the mountain home of the Muses.
136 fat thick-headed.
137 unbored unpenetrated.
142 chink The verbs ‘chime’ and ‘chink’, both used to describe the sounding of metal or glass when struck, were given figurative extension (‘chink’ less commonly than ‘chime’) to describe the consonance of rhyming words; this sense competes here with the more customary usage of ‘chink’, to describe the sounding of metal coins against each other or against some other hard surface. This verbal play gains some partial support from the obsolete noun ‘rime’, meaning cleft or chink. Cf. New Inn, 1.3.113.
144 on departure on the verge of being lost.
145 bring . . . temper render Wax pliable. To temper wax is to render it malleable, usually by kneading it and raising its temperature.
148 pipkins small earthenware pots for cooking.
151 hungry poor, infertile.
153 marl amend a sandy soil with marl, a clayey loam.
154 clowns and hinds country-folk and rustic labourers.
156 the dull element the earth, the cold and dry member of the traditional four elements.
157 SD] Parr, subst.; not in F2
158 a feeling a gratuity or bribe. This unusual usage is unrecorded in the OED, but cf. Devil, 3.3.78.
158 supple render supple.
160–3 That music and song have the power to master the will of the hearers was an ancient commonplace. ‘To serve my subtle turns’ suggests a slightly improper coercion, a suggestion compounded by Madrigal’s boast that he will make Broker ‘run through . . . a thumb-ring’, since magi were thought to control the infernal spirits they summoned by penning them in thumb-rings (cf. Devil, Prol., 5–6).
160 through] F3; thorow F2
160 hoop finger-ring.
162 ductile pliable; when used specifically of metal, it denotes a capability of being drawn out into wire or thread.
164 run propagate.
164 SD] G, subst.; not in F2
165 flies parasites.
168–71 I . . . chimney Jonson closely imitates the description of Euclio’s miserliness in Plautus’s Aulularia (‘The Pot of Gold’), 299–301: [PYTHODICUS] . . . quin divom atque hominum clamat continuo fidem / suam rem periise seque eradicarier / de suo tigillo fumus si qua exit foras, ‘PYTH . . . . he calls on gods and men to witness that he’s ruined, wiped out, if even a wisp of smoke escapes his stingy fire’. Jonson sustains his imitation of Plautus’s excursus on miserliness in the ensuing lines.
169 windows] F2 (windores)
169 spar up bar.
173–5 A wretched . . . abroad! Jonson’s imitation here slightly softens the sordidness of Plautus’s humour (Aulularia, 302–5): ‘PYTH. quin cum it dormitum, follem obstringit ob gulam / ANTHRAX Cur? PYTH. ne quid animae forte amittat dormiens. / ANTHR. Etiamne obturat inferiorem gutturem / ne quid animai forte amittat dormiens’ (PYTH. And he even ties a bag over his trap while he’s in bed. / ANTHR. Why? PYTH. So he won’t let any breath get out while he sleeps. / ANTHR. Yea, and sticks a cork in his downstairs windpipe / So he won’t let any of that breath get out while he sleeps).
175–6 cobwebs . . . fingers Cobwebs were customarily used to staunch the bleeding in small wounds. Cf. Aulularia, 87 and MND, 3.1. 160–1 (‘I shall desire more of your acquaintance, good Master Cobweb; if I cut my finger, I shall make bold with you.’).
176–8 spiders . . . monkeys Monkeys were occasionally kept as pets in Jonson’s day (cf. 4.4.162.). That spiders were a favourite food for monkeys was well known: thus, in Middleton’s A Game at Chess, pickled spiders are mentioned as the fare properly offered at ‘a monkey’s ordinary’ (or tavern; ed. Howard-Hill, 3.3.26–7). But spiders were also thought of as medicinal for monkeys: Jonson’s protégé, Richard Brome, refers to spiders as ‘restorative’ to monkeys in Act 5 of The City Wit and in Cartwright’s The Siege, the widow Euthalpe, now a waiting-maid, is charged to ‘feel the monkey’s pulse, / and cater spiders for the queasy creature’ (in Plays and Poems, ed. Evans, 545–6). Of course, in Jonson’s day, the line between nutrition and medication was drawn less firmly than it is now.
178–80 He . . . withal Aulularia, 308–13.
178 fat fatten.
180 hair Frequently used as stuffing for balls, cushions, and saddles.
180 withal] F3; with all F2
184 worship honour, esteem.
185 give security deposit money or property in earnest of fulfilment of an obligation or payment of a debt.
186 This can time Time can accomplish this.
190 both the changes i.e. the change in my own fortunes for the better and the change in your fortunes for the worse.
190 SD.2] G, subst; not in F2
195 top . . . house Cf. 2.5.30.
195 top] Wh; ’top F2
196 flaunting] G; flanting F2
201 old Harry A nickname for the devil.
202 wary Rhymes with ‘Harry’ (201).
204 faulted A common euphemism for ‘shat’.
206 slice sprig, cutting. Pennyboy Sr’s sparing use of juniper, customarily burned for its aromatic smoke, may be contrasted with Deliro’s lavishness in EMO (Characters, 40–1).
208 the Prodigal The capitalization of the folio text captures how Pennyboy Sr associates the young Pennyboy with his biblical type.
208 SD Exit Broker.] G; not in F2
209 clapper dudgeon beggar. ‘Dudgeon’ is the wood from which knife handles were made; because it was customary for a beggar to secure attention by striking his or her begging bowl with a knife, the knife handle comes to stand, by metonymy, for the beggar. Like much of the argot associated with the underclass, this expression seems to have been somewhat esoteric.
2.5 ] F2 (Act. II. Scene. V. )
0 SD.1–4] F2 (Peny-boy.Iv. Peni-boy. Sen. Piclock. / Canter.) Broker. Pecvnia. Statvte. / Band. Wax. Mortgage. hid in the study.)
2.5 2 Ophir See 1.6.43n.
3 if even if.
4 daughter o’the sun See 4.4.11, and also 4.2.93, 95 (and cf. Volp., 1.1.10–11, where gold is described as the ‘son of Sol’).
7 Domine Master.
9 compounds resolves.
16–17 maunds . . . pad begs on the highway. Pennyboy Canter has slipped into canting.
20 cogging jack cheating rascal (as at 2.4.41).
20 uses lends out usuriously. The laboured play on words enables Jonson to denigrate Pennyboy Sr for insisting that the usurious use of money is comparable to less miserly uses of wealth (cf. Volp., 1.1.62).
21 Lets Loans.
21 more i’the hundred See 2.1.4–5 and note.
26 SD] placement, F3; Young / Peny-boy / is angyry./ as marginal note F2
26 SH] F3 (P. jun.); P. Se. F2
26 John servant (to Pennyboy Jr). With a play on jack/John.
27 The gist of this is, ‘and, if you go to that [i.e. what’s more], as good a man as you are’. By a small linguistic trick, the coordinating ‘And’ warrants the ellipsis of that ‘and’ or ‘an’ which often introduces a protasis in early modern English.
27 And,] F2; An’ 1716
37–8 happiness . . . Worship An appositive construction: the Canter alleges that his happiness consists in attending on Pennyboy Jr.
43 SD The . . . opened This important spectacular moment presumably entailed the parting of curtains probably draping the central entrance in the Blackfriars stage façade; Jonson was plainly seeking an effect comparable to that of the opening of Volp. (and cf. Cat., 1.1.15 SD).
43 SD] placement, F3, following 44; The study is / open’d where / she sit in / state. / as marginal note F2
44–5 and . . . prow Recalls the stunning description, in Ant. (2.2.201–7), of Cleopatra’s barge.
45 Gilt] F2 (Guilt)
46 toward (1) promising; (2) avid.
47 lips This is startlingly forward. The gesture recalls Doll’s offer of her lips to Sir Epicure Mammon at Alch., 4.1.35. Parr (ed. Staple) may be correct that the line sustains the play’s coy invitation (for which, see 2.Int.18–26 and 21–2n.) to associate Pecunia with the Spanish Infanta, famous for her Habsburg lips; if so, we are invited to observe a contrast between Pecunia’s boldness and the reserve with which the Spanish Infanta received Prince Charles.
50–7 Gifford observes a debt here to the account of Medea’s enamourment in the Argonautica of Apollonius Rhodius (3.286–90), a powerful rendering of desire as inflammation, though perhaps not an object of Jonson’s direct imitation. More pertinent, surely, is Jonson’s self-imitation, since the moment strongly recalls Cynthia: ‘There Cupid strikes Money in love with the Prodigal’ (Q, Praeludium, 59).
58 loves . . . nature prefers greater aloofness than natural appetite will permit.
61 SD] in right margin in F2
62 I like him I think his prospects good.
63–6 A loose imitation of Virgil’s rendering of Aeneas’s mental turbulence as he anticipates the attempt to conquer Latium: animum nunc huc celerem nunc diuidit illuc / in partisque rapit uarias perque omnia versat, / sicut aquae tremulum labris ubi lumen aenis / sole repercussum aut radiantis imagine lunae /omnia peruolitat late loca, iamque sub auras / erigitur summique ferit laquearia tecti, ‘His racing mind is split, turning now here, now there, rushing every which way, turning to everything; as when the sun’s trembling light, reflected from the water in bronze basins, or the radiant image of the moon skitters everywhere, and now surges toward the heavens and strikes the panelled roof’; Aeneid, 8.20–5).
63 contrary mixed, internally vexed.
71 SD] this edn; not in F2; Kisses them. G
73 close intimately.
76 younger.] F3; yonger, F2
76 SD the compliment i.e. of kissing.
76 SD.2] in right margin in F2
80 observe (1) attend on; (2) obey.
80 And] Aand F2
83–4 Broker . . . knave Alluding to the proverb, ‘a crafty knave needs no broker’ (Dent, K122∗); cf. 2H6, 1.2.100, and EMI (Q), 3.2.24–5.
86 sweeping (1) majestic; (2) characterized by a sweeping gesture, like that of a broom (see next line).
87 Thy . . . broom Cf. Tub, 2.2.24, ‘Master Broom-beard’.
88 The line suggests that gentlemen-ushers, who waited on ladies, were thought to be effeminate. Cf. Boyet in LLL.
92 SD] placement, F3, following 93; as marginal note F2
94 tuft chief. The OED cites this as a nonce usage.
98 By Under the supervision of.
100 lightly often. For another observation on the frequent identity of bawds and usurers, see Epigr. 57.
101 Are you advised? i.e. ‘You think so?’ Gifford takes this as an admiring remark, but the remainder of Picklock’s speech suggests, instead, that these words should be uttered with considerable irony.
102 burgess . . . barn ‘Burgess’ means magistrate; in effect, the phrase means something like ‘king of the beggars’.
103 SH pennyboy sr] G (P. sen.); P. Ca. F2
114 SD] placement, F3, following 115; as marginal note F2
115–18 cook’s shop . . . princess Meals were available at cooks’ shops both to eat on the premises or to take away. These were not very refined establishments, but were regarded, rather, as roughly on the level of alehouses. Taverns were more respectable; many would have kitchens of their own, but at some it was possible to have a meal brought in, as the Canter here proposes. Ordinaries, which always had kitchens, were even more elevated, and Picklock may have had such a venue in mind for the fashionable party he anticipates.
120 Come . . . in Picklock takes ‘come forth’ to mean ‘be born in’. Canter corrects him in line 121, but recalls the misunderstanding in his odd phrase ‘in womb of’ (124), which, given the context, can only mean ‘in residence in’.
122 Pocahontas ‘That blessed Pocahontas, the great king’s daughter of Virginia, oft saved my life’, John Smith, The General History of Virginia (1624), (1v). Pocahontas was known to have attended Vision, Jonson’s masque of 1616, shortly after her arrival in England.
123 The plural, ‘daughters’, in F2 probably betrays the influence of Jeremiah, 41.10 at some stage of transmission.
123 daughter] F3 (Daughter); daughters F2
124 in womb of a tavern See 120n. above. The line alludes to Pocahontas’s long sojourn at the Bell Savage Inn at Ludgate Hill; the name of the inn predates her stay but may have contributed to the nickname she bore during her time in London, La Belle Sauvage.
127–30 Apollo . . . king The Jeerers will repair to The Devil in Fleet Street, one of Jonson’s own favourite haunts: Jonson may well have given the name Apollo to his favourite room at the Devil and we may imagine that he means to compare the Jeerers’ debased conviviality to the higher (Apollonian) form that Jonson and his friends enjoyed there, the principles of which Jonson formulated in his Leges Convivales. Simon Wadloe, tavern-keeper of The Devil, was celebrated in a handful of popular drinking songs, one tune of which endured under the name ‘Simon the King’. Cf. ‘Apollo’, 8 and n. (5.422).
135 have . . . there. Many aristocrats made it a custom while travelling to set up displays of their arms wherever they lodged, a practice to which Jonson alludes in passing in Discoveries, 142–6.
SECOND INTERMEAN 2 on us of us.
2 witch Here, ‘prophetess’.
2 forespeak prophesy. Censure is recalling the discussion at 1 Int. 23ff. in which the gossips had worried that there might be neither devil nor fool in the play they have come to see.
4–17 The chic subtlety of modern vice, the difficulty of discerning the true moral nature of persons (and of modern theatrical characters) is the central theme of The Devil Is an Ass, the concerns of which are reprised here. These lines recall, particularly, Devil, 1.1.40–3, 78–85, 115–30 and, more generally, the mid-Tudor morality plays on which Devil reflects.
4–5 but . . . witch our combined ages don’t equal that of a proper witch.
9 to carry him away See 1 Int. 54–5 and note above.
10 wooden dagger Traditional token of the Vice-figure in a morality play. Cf. Devil, 1.1.85.
10 rush rushes, i.e. reeds, were used as floor-coverings; hence something of very little value.
12 Hocus-Pocus Having made the phrase part of his mystical patter, an eminent carnival conjurer (or ‘juggler’) in Jonson’s day styled himself ‘The Kings Majesties most excellent Hocus Pocus, and so was he called, because that at the playing of every Trick, he used to say’ – in faux-Latin – Hocus pocus, tontus talontus, vade celeritur jubeo’ (Thomas Ady, A Candle in the Dark, 1655, E3). Hocus-Pocus is discussed in Bawcutt (1996a, 2000) and Butterworth (2005). Cf. Augurs, 221.
Second Intermean 13 skirts] this edn; skirts. F2
13 Knave of Clubs The four knaves (from the pack of cards) ‘come skipping in’ (231) for the anti-masque dances of Fort. Isles. Playing cards often figure in early modern satire, by virtue of their association with frivolous recreation and gambling. The knave was especially singled out; see, for example, Samuel Rowlands, The Knave of Clubs (1609), where the knave ushers a series of satiric portraits of London ‘madmen, knaves, and fools’ (A3v). The surviving contemporary images of the knave of clubs show him in stiff and jaunty skirt, with no trunk-hose.
14 o’the time of our own time.
16 Infanta The capitalization here follows F2, setting up the topical application which Mirth resists.
21–2 Aurelia . . . person Mirth thus (ineffectually) invites us to resist seeking an allusion in Pecunia’s name, presumably to the daughter of Philip II of Spain, the Infanta Isabella Clara Eugenia, governess of the Spanish Netherlands, but the allusion-to-be-resisted probably also takes in Isabella’s niece, the Infanta Maria Anna. Efforts to secure a match between Charles I and Maria Anna, long a matter of Jacobean foreign policy, had finally collapsed in 1623. See Introduction to Neptune, which describes Prince Charles’s sensational visit to Madrid.
24 subject to exception open to criticism.
25 ‘Infanta o’the Gypsies’ Cf. Fletcher, Love’s Pilgrimage, 1.1.44.
27 an . . . I if no one were to know about it but myself.
29 stick the ass’s ears attach the ass’s ears (as was done to Midas, in mockery).
30 dressing coiffure.
39 spread reveal, identify – but with an obvious pun.
40 butter-box Slang for ‘Dutchman’: deriving apparently from the custom of Dutch travellers of carrying boxes of butter with which to enhance the dishes provided by local victuallers. (On the Dutch taste for butter, cf. EMI (F), 3.4.30–2.) Of course, Mirth’s reference also sustains the unremitting allusions to the news publisher, Nathaniel Butter.
41 dished dished up.
43 pot-butter salted butter packed in pots for long storage.
48 seasonable savoury.
49 almond butter A paste of ground almonds and other ingredients, including, sometimes, wine, sugar, or rosewater, used during Lent as a substitute for dairy butter.
52 so provided that.
53 July and December Mirth alludes to the proverb ‘Butter is mad twice a year’ (Tilley, B772), in July, when it is too soft, and in December, when it is too hard.
53 Dixi ‘I have spoken’. The formulation used at the conclusion of an advocate’s presentation, equivalent to the modern ‘I rest my case’.
TO THE READERS 1 opened (1) disclosed; (2) discovered, perhaps by revealing a special setting on the stage. Parr (ed. Staple) supposes that the furniture pertinent to the Office of the Staple may have been contained within an onstage booth and revealed by the drawing of curtains at the conclusion of the second intermean.
3–5 as . . . acts A particularly emphatic way of suggesting that the spectators’ capacity for judgement had been taken over by the thoughtless whimsy of the Gossips of the intermeans.
7–12 and . . . times The accusation that the early news publishers were satisfying the appetite for news with falsified reports apparently had some currency. H&S quote the disclaimer addressed to the ‘Gentle Reader’ of News from Europe of 19 March 1624: ‘Custom is so predominant in every thing, that both the reader and the printer of these pamphlets, agree in their expectation of weekly news, so that if the printer have not wherewithal to afford satisfaction, yet will the reader come and ask every day for new news; not out of curiosity or wantonness, but pretending a necessity, either to please themselves, or satisfy their customers. Therefore is the printer, both with charge and painstaking, very careful to have his friends abroad supply his wants at home with pertinent letters, and acquaint him with the printed copies beyond the seas . . . Which seeing it is for your sake . . . be so far generous to acknowledge this his kindness, and doe not dishearten him in his endeavours . . . by making any doubt of the truth of his intelligence. For to use a little protestation, I can assure you, there is not a line printed or proposed to your view, but carries the credit of other originals, and justifies itself from honest and understanding authority: so that if they should fail there in true and exact discoveries, be not yet you too malignant against the printer here, that is so far from any invention of his own, that when he meets with improbability or absurdity, he leaves it quite out rather than he will startle your patience, or draw you into suspicion of the verity of the whole’ (H&S, 10.274).
15 Ficta . . . veris From Horace’s Art of Poetry (338); in Jonson’s rendering, ‘Let what thou feign’st for pleasure’s sake be near the truth’ (507–8), that is, fiction should be like truth, if it is to please. Jonson also translated Horace’s line for the second Prologue to Epicene and used it, in the original Latin, as an epigraph to Devil.
3.1 The first three scenes of Act 3 take place in the Office of the Staple.
3.1 ] F2 (Act. III. Scene. I.)
0 SD] Kifer; Fitton. Cymbal, to them Picklocke. / Register. Clerke. Tho: Barber. F2
2 air i.e. superficial aspect or, even, reputation, though Fitton’s diction is influenced by the olfactory metaphor of the ‘wrong scent’ (1). Moreover, because ‘air’ can also mean tune, Fitton’s choice leads him to oppose ‘fine sounds’ to ‘reason and proportion’ (3).
4 cousin partner.
5 pettifogger A lawyer especially given to shady dealings.
6 trust the (considerable) responsibility.
7 And he can be expected to take Pennyboy Jr’s side in our dispute.
10 trap-door complex trick. This figurative usage predates the first recorded in the OED, from 1648, but this use of a trapdoor to figure all manner of deceitful traps is not uncommon: good examples relevant to law and government may be found in Book V, the Legend of Justice, in Spenser’s Faerie Queene (5.2.12 and 5.6.27).
11 SD.1] this edn; Enter Picklock G
12 For Ambler and Buzz, see 1.2.68–70 and n.
14 all in pomp in full regalia of the office.
14 SD The entrance of the staff of the Office, which F2 indicates as part of the entry stage direction at the beginning of the scene, may take place at any moment between lines 14 and 39.
17–18 has . . . guardian has secured permission from Pennyboy Sr for Pecunia and her attendants to indulge themselves.
27 cry . . . credit advertise the authority.
31 migniardise coy elegance.
31 quaint ingenious.
34 Vertumnus The Roman god of seasonal change, Vertumnus had the power of shape-shifting and is here invoked as a kind of patron of adaptability.
36 colour feign, deceive.
37 turnpike turnstile.
39 Straight Immediately.
42 abroad out of the office.
43 without outside.
44 Let us alone Leave matters to us.
45 SD] in left margin in F2
46 keep your state preserve your dignity.
47 have a flight at A phrase from falconry meaning ‘pursue (as quarry)’.
48 hard but An abbreviated form of the expression, ‘it shall go hard but’, meaning ‘unless there are insurmountable obstacles’.
48 unto the retrieve From falconry, with two possible meanings: either ‘back to the lure (and hence to the control of the falconer)’ or ‘to a second flight’ (and hence into exposure to a second assault from the falconer’s bird).
49 SD The note, printed in the margins of F2, indicates the conclusion of the main dramatic movement of the scene, the conversion of Fitton from suspecting Picklock to trusting him.
50 engine stratagem.
50 Cuz Cousin, i.e. partner, as at 4 above.
51 my error i.e. my suspicion of Picklock; for which see 5–8 above.
3.2 ] F2 (Act. III. Scene II. )
0 SD.1–3] F2 (Peni-boy. Iv. P. Canter. Pecvnia. Sta-/tvte. Band. Mortgage. Wax./Broker. Cvstomers.)
3.2 5 My creature The object of my patronage, my client.
6 SD He . . . Tom.] in left margin in F2
7 writes Clericus signs documents ‘Clericus’ (i.e. styles himself a clerk).
9 It is best to let your beneficiary speak of your generosity, rather than boasting of it yourself.
10 Two . . . well Two people – in this case, Tom and Pennyboy Jr – do not perform a single task – in this case the task of publicizing Pennyboy Jr’s largesse – well.
11 to . . . courtesies not to get the credit due me.
13 Canter casts this in the form of a paradoxical proverb (though it seems to be his own invention); Pennyboy Jr responds to the form in the next line.
13 yourselves] F3 (your selves); you selues F2
14 sentences sayings.
20 SD.2] in right margin in F2
21–2 Jonson thus captures the tenor of much Protestant news-writing, with its deep fear of united, international Catholic power. In the ensuing lines that unity crumbles, to the fascination and (apparent) satisfaction of the consumers of news.
23 the emperor i.e. the previous emperor. Ferdinand II, the Holy Roman Emperor, had not abdicated, and would not die until 1637.
23 SD] placement, F3, following ‘resign’d,’; as marginal note F2
24 trails a pike serves as a foot soldier. The phrase refers to the normal carriage of the pike during a march, the pike held just above the balance point, with its butt end ‘trailing’ a few inches above the ground.
24 Tilly Count of Tilly, Johann Tzerclas, the celebrated and much-feared commander of the forces of the Catholic League since 1618.
25 SD] placement, F3, following 26 ‘Jesuits.’; as marginal note F2
26 Spinola Marquis of Ambrosio, leader of the Spanish army in the Netherlands; cf. 1.4.6. The satire here is intricate, if not downright fussy, for the news here sows confusion by confounding General Spinola with Father Spinola, a Jesuit martyred in Nagasaki in 1622. Jesuits were the objects of considerable suspicion in Stuart England, where they were held to be spies and ideologues of resistance and sedition. To condense the two Spinolas is to construct an extravagant bogeyman, concentrating the threats to Protestant England of Catholic and Spanish power.
27 SD] placement, F3, following 28 ‘Monarchy’; as marginal note F2
28 pretence to prospects for establishing.
28–32 Fifth . . . Austria The Fifth Monarchy refers to the thousand-year sacred kingdom, successor to the heathen kingdoms of Assyria, Persia, Greece, and Rome, prophesied in Daniel, 7–8; cf. Alch., 4.5.26. Many Protestants expected its inception shortly; many Catholics alleged that Daniel’s prophecy had looked forward to the Holy Roman Empire itself, yet abiding tensions between emperors and popes worked consistently to undermine their allegations. The news of a Spanish king who had been made both pope and emperor, if true, would seem to offer a triumphant Catholic fulfilment to Daniel’s prophecy. Fitton muses on Austrian ambitions to establish a Catholic Fifth Monarchy. In effect, the Staple is selling the happy vision of a Catholic Europe in which millennial and imperial ambitions are thwarted by huge rivalries and intrigue.
31 SD] placement, F3, following 32 ‘Maximilian’; as marginal note F2
32 Maximilian Duke of Bavaria, founder of the Catholic League, and champion of Ferdinand II. Maximilian had driven the Protestant Elector-Palatine, Frederick V, from the throne of Bohemia and from his heriditary territories in 1620. Frederick was the son-in-law of James I, and his ouster was not only the chief stimulant to English interest in continental news, but was also a focus of late Jacobean foreign policy: the latter months of James’s reign were devoted to developing alliances that might enable Frederick to recover his throne.
33–4 Bouttersheim . . . Scheiterhuyssen Jonson first coined these names for Epigr. 107.25–6. Bouttersheim sustains the play’s relentless running joke associating news and butter (and also gesturing to the Dutch as the butter-people). Scheiterhuyssen is a broader gesture of anti-Catholic xenophobia: it Dutchifies the English term ‘shit-house’.
34 Liechtenstein H&S take this rather unspecific reference to Lichtenstein as evoking a kind of inconsequential provinciality; more plausibly, Parr (ed. Staple) takes this as a specific reference to Karl von Liechtenstein, whom Ferdinand II installed on the throne of Bohemia after the expulsion of Frederick V. If so, Fitton’s identification of ‘the Baron . . . of Liechtenstein’ as Lord Paul (35) is to be understood as yet another instance of the addled misinformation that circulates under the influence of the Staple.
36 SD] in right margin in F2
37 A priest! See line 26n. above.
37–8 dispensed . . . Society released from his priestly vows, as are all the members of the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits).
39 engineers The primary modern sense, ‘devisers of mechanical contrivances’, was, in Jonson’s day, still secondary to the sense, ‘devisers of malicious stratagems’; Jonson here exploits the ambiguity of the term.
41–2 Jonson responded to the notoriety of Spinola’s war-machinery as early as Volp., 2.1.51. The device imagined here adds a fourth to the three means of travel to the moon enumerated in News NW, 148–55.
44 Vitellesco Muzio Vitelleschi, Superior General of the Jesuits since 1615, probably held his place in the consciousness of Jonson and his contemporaries as the rector of the English College in Rome during the late 1590s. The College was the headquarters of displaced English Catholicism, at once a hospice for exiled English priests and an academy at which priests were trained for the English mission.
46 SD] in right margin in F2
47 powdered spiced or salted, but with a double entendre that implies an association with gunpowder; see 49n. below.
47 wildfire highly flammable compounds, difficult to extinguish, formulated for military use.
49 egg The OED records no instances of the slang use of ‘egg’ for grenade or bomb prior to the twentieth century.
49 clear utterly.
52 SD] placement, F3, following 53 Study,’; as marginal note F2
54 burning glass Although this is his only direct reference to Galileo, Jonson was well aware of the contemporary ferment in optics, witness his lampoon of the optical experiments of the Dutch engineer Cornelis Drebbel (Augurs, 75n., 193n., and 59n. below). Drebbel, who specialized in the manufacture of lenses, had schemes for concentrating solar rays in order to provide energy (Harris, 1961, 189–91); Jonson’s friend William Drummond received a patent in 1626 for a device to set fire to distant objects. The inspiration for none of these proposals can be traced directly to Galileo.
55 fire set fire to.
55 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Water.’; as marginal note F2
56 moonshine . . . water ‘Moonshine in the water’ was proverbial (Dent, M1128∗) for something insubstantial and unworthy of serious consideration.
59 SH nathaniel] G; Cla. F2
59 sir] F3 (Sir); Sit F2
59 Corneliuson Jonson’s naval inventor recalls Cornelis Drebbel (see 54n. above), who constructed and sailed a semi-submarine, a ship that could travel with only its pilot’s head above the water’s surface, from Westminster to Greenwich in 1621. Drebbel and others devoted considerable ingenuity to constructing explosive devices that might be used to sink ships.
59 Corneliuson] F2 (Cornelius-Son)
59 SD] in left margin in F2
61 Dunkirk Dunkirk was an infamous haven for pirates, who periodically disrupted shipping in the Channel.
63 SD, 72 SD ]in margin in F2
63–5 side . . . ourselves Whereas Cymbal uses side to indicate Tom’s ‘beat’, Pennyboy Jr construes the term as denoting Catholic partisanship. The byplay gently mocks Pennyboy Jr’s assumption that all news is and should be partisan, and the mockery implies that Jonson expects general acceptance of the principle that the reporting of news should be dispassionate. But Pennyboy Jr’s assumptions were shared even within the culture of news production, hence the address ‘to the indifferent Reader’ of the newsbook for 29 March 1625: ‘whereas we have hitherto printed (for the most part) the occurrences which have come to our hands, from the Protestants’ side, which some have excepted against: wherefore to give them content, we purpose to publish (as they come now to our hands) such relations as are printed at Antwerp, Utopia, or other such like places’ (C1v).
63 SD The sentence begun in this SD is completed at 72 SD. The printed marginalia in the folio provide a summary tally of the preposterous news items proffered by the Staple.
65 Come down Come down from your elevated seat.
68 keep . . . side circulate news concerning Protestant affairs or deriving from Protestant sources; see 63–5n. above and 69n. below.
69 The line suggests that the Staple fabricates news and does not simply circulate it; thus, switching sides seems to oblige Tom to rewrite news he has already written, transforming ‘pontificial’ news into ‘his own’, i.e. Protestant, news.
71 stick be stubborn.
78 sir] F2 (sit)
79 automa It is unclear whether this truncated form of automaton should be taken as an error on Cymbal’s part or as an acceptable form.
80 snug The standard meaning, ‘trim’, may be what’s intended here, though H&S may be correct in suggesting a connection to the noun, snug, meaning ‘a rugged projection’. The noun may be being used adjectivally.
82 coasts From Latin costae, ‘ribs’.
83 right hand reliable source; cf. Mag. Lady, 4.6.19.
84–5 eel boats . . . Holland Complaints about the prominence of the Dutch in the English fisheries and their contempt for English import quotas were not uncommon. The Dutch were notorious for fish trading at Queenhithe during Lent (Johansson, 53–4).
84 Queenhithe The ancient dock lying on the north side of the Thames, just south of the Guildhall and St Paul’s.
85 brave excellent.
86 bottoms boats.
87 SD] in left margin in F2
87 SD in cork shoes ‘Cork’ suggests not only a floating army, but one that could move with silent stealth; cf. Lear, 4.5.176–7, ‘It were a delicate stratagem, to shoe / A troop of horse with felt.’ Note that the news sought from abroad and diffused by the Staple has come to focus on intrusion and invasion: armies and (mis)information trace similar itineraries. For more on cork shoes, see Devil, 3.4.13n. and 4.4.69n.
89 Harwich In fact, ten thousand troops were garrisoned at Harwich (on the northeast coast of Essex) in the latter months of 1625 in expectation of an invasion by Spinola, whose fleet had just routed Dutch and English forces at Dunkirk.
90 ordnance] F2 (ordinance)
93 spring tide (When the tides would be especially high.)
94 engines mechanical devices or contrivances.
95 curious abstruse, or pertaining to the occult.
96 SD] placement, F3, following 98 ‘Bodies,’; as marginal note F2
97 SH nathaniel] G; Cla. F2
97 reverence . . . ears begging your pardon for my introducing an indelicate subject.
98 drawing . . . bodies The Clerk takes this preposterous project seriously, but extracting farts from the dead was also a proverbial formulation of an impossible undertaking (Dent, F63).
99 Brotherhood . . . Cross Rumours concerning this fabled secret society, the Rosicrucians, began to circulate in the late sixteenth century; the society was said to have been founded in the fifteenth century. It is fitting that Nathaniel should have news of the Rosicrucians, who were associated with a variety of occult practices and lore, and especially with Protestant apocalyptic thought, for Nathaniel sits opposite to ‘the pontificial side’ (63) of the Staple office.
99 Rosy Cross] F2 (Rosie Crosse)
104 resents Parr (ed. Staple) notes the pun from ‘re-scents’.
105 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Motion,’; as marginal note F2
105 SD perpetual motion Many early modern inventors occupied themselves with the construction of such devices. The same Cornelis Drebbel who devised a vessel to travel almost entirely underwater in 1621 (see 59n. above) was credited with having succeeded in constructing a clock wound by a perpetual motion machine and in 1598 was awarded a patent for the device in his native Holland. He presented the device to James I in 1604. See Epicene, 5.3.47–8 and n., Epigr. 97.2.
106 alewife . . . Katherine’s See Augurs, 87, for more on this innkeeper (and her bears, who are brought in to dance). Many breweries were concentrated in the precinct of Saint Katherine’s and it was a locale especially associated with hard drinking – hence Pennyboy’s quip at line 107 that the flow of ale at The Dancing Bears is a perpetual motion – as well as with the Dutch residents who crowded its taverns (see Devil, 1.1.61–2).
109 discovery investigation.
110 SD] placement, F3, following 112 ‘Room’; as marginal note F2
110 made up prepared.
114 stand it remain.
115 SD] placement, F3, following 114, ‘Office; as marginal note F2
115 SD House of Fame A reference to Chaucer’s conception, in the poem of the same name, of an edifice to which all communication, be it false or true, routes itself, in which all important deeds are commemorated. (For Jonson’s earlier reimagining of the House of Fame, see Queens.) Chaucer also imagined a nearby house of twigs from which all rumour emanates. In his conception of news, Jonson, like Chaucer, is recalling the classical idea, often personified (most famously in Virgil’s Aeneid, 4.173–88), of fama, a word that links together all forms of notoriety, from celebrated eminence to the deepest ill repute, and all forms of publicity, from formal rhetorical praise to gossip.
116 curious (1) inquisitive; (2) careful. In Time Vind., the Curious, devotees of Fame, are brought in as antimasquers, wasters of Time, who presides over the main masque.
117 staid grave.
120 she i.e. Fame.
120 sport irresponsible play.
122 SD] I. Cust./ A she Ana-/baptist. / as marginal note F2 (state2); I. Cust./ A she An-/baptist. / as marginal note F2 (state 1); I. Cust./ A she/ baptist. / as marginal note F2 (state 3); F3 subst., following 123, ‘News.’
122 SD dopper The stage direction here expands the speech heading in F2 at 123, ‘DOP’; in News NW, on which Jonson draws heavily in Staple, ‘a world of Doppers’ is discovered in the moon (see News NW, 166). Although the Doppers of News NW confer with the lunar Pythagoreans, they are constrained only to hum and dare not prophesy as they would on earth; the news that Thomas will offer Dopper at 125ff. below is pitched to satisfy her interest in prophecy. ‘Dopper’ is a slang term from Dutch for ‘dipper’, ‘one who uses immersion in baptism’ (OED, Dipper n.2). The various early modern Protestant sects grouped together as Anabaptists were all thus particularly identified as advocates of adult, or believer’s, baptism and further characterized as puritanically censorious and committed to strict behavioural codes. (The usage here and in News NW are the first recorded by OED.) Line 148 below suggests that Dopper is Dutch.
125 SD Prophet Baal Perhaps a reminiscence of the proto-Anabaptist John Ball, the Essex minister who had been instrumental in fomenting the Wat Tyler rebellion, but the SD more likely refers to that same false prophet, ‘Ball’, to whom Fletcher alludes in The Fair Maid of the Inn (5.2.79; and see also the ‘astrological tailor’ of Middleton’s Anything for a Quiet Life, 5.1, and Pan’s Ann., 99–100). The designation ‘Prophet’ evokes the millenarian atmosphere that flourished among many early modern religious radicals (it may also refer to the public theological disputations or ‘prophesyings’ that had commenced in the 1570s), just as the term, ‘saints’ (126) – used to name themselves by whole congregations for whom strictness and fervour were essential to their spiritual identity, and employed with usually casual derision by those outside their spiritual circle – reminds us of the quickened religious energies that animated much early modern political thought and, hence, much early modern news.
125 SD] placement, F3, following 126, ‘shortly,’; as marginal note F2
125 SD Holland Holland, and Amsterdam in particular, had a reputation as a haven for radical Protestant groups fleeing persecution, real or notional.
128 a time See Revelation, 12.14, where the phrase ‘a time . . . and half a time’ is used ominously to indicate an unspecified fixed duration that must pass before a crucial next event in the unfolding of the apocalypse can take place. The term, having entered the vocabulary of contemporary millenarianism, becomes, for Jonson, a leading instance of pseudo-sacred cant; cf. the Prophet mentioned in Pan’s Ann. who has divined that ‘we must conquer in such a time and such a half time, [and] therefore bids us go cross-legged’ (102–3).
129 Naometry The esoteric numerological system which the late sixteenth-century south German scholar Simon Studion elaborated from the biblical texts describing the dimensions of Solomon’s Temple.
130 cabal body of esoteric lore.
131 Archy Archibald Armstrong, fool in the courts of both James and Charles, of whose satiric attacks Buckingham and Laud were the frequent butts. ‘Archy’ was newsworthy for having been a member of Charles’s entourage during the prince’s voyage to Madrid. His long coat seems to have been an important prop; when the council finally acted on Laud’s complaints in 1637, Armstrong was discharged, banished from court, and sentenced to have his coat ‘pulled over his head’. Cf. Neptune, 121 and n.
132 head person. The choice of this term gives ironic emphasis to Archy’s intellect.
133 black Given the puritan preference for black and modest clothing, it is not surprising that these ‘saints’ should desire Archy’s long coat.
133 SD] in right margin in F2
133 SD Like several of the marginal glosses in F2, the note here is no doubt meant to summarize the news being proffered, but the sense of the note is obscure. Though H&S cite it, the episode recorded in The Scots Scouts (1642), in which Archy reports having been stripped of his signature coat for having spoken against the bishops and being obliged to wear a black coat instead can hardly shed light on the passage, since it concerns Archy’s black coat. If Archy’s customary coat were brightly coloured or motley, he would have been obliged to replace it with a black coat in the months prior to the staging of Staple (in mourning for James); this unwonted and startling propriety might have provoked Jonson’s gloss.
134 So . . . need For which there is need; i.e. they would benefit from the peace that Dopper has just wished might be theirs.
134 by the ears at odds.
138 ninepence Dopper seeks a discount of 25 per cent on the twelve-penny shilling that is the Staple’s standard price.
140 That man Dopper seems to indicate a particular person on stage, probably Tom, whose reliability as a source or conduit of news she may suspect.
141 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Signior’; as marginal note F2
141 SD Great Turk The Sultan of Turkey, probably Murad IV, the mad sultan Mustafa I having been deposed in 1623. Murad IV never converted to Christianity.
143–4 The controversy . . . Antichrist The controversy between the pope and the sultan over which of the two is truly the Antichrist.
146 quit . . . Beast divest himself of the signs of damnation. The phrasing suggests that these marks are damnable practices or ceremonial trappings and not simply the outward indications of damnation; the ambiguity over whether religious ceremony is a cause of damnation or merely the abominable sign of damnation is characteristic of Protestant anti-Catholic polemic (here extended to the Moslem sultan). For the ‘marks of the Beast’, see Revelation, 16.2.
147–8 Buzz . . . countryman See 1.2.70–1.
149 family, nation Both terms were used by the members of the various puritan sects to indicate the members of a sect or congregation. Though the Register seems to have remarked on the shared political and regional identity of Buzz and Dopper, Dopper insists, rather, on a shared religious affiliation, perhaps implying that this is the only communal identity that carries significant weight for her.
150 Amboyna An island in the Moluccas, a Dutch territory since 1605. The 1620s saw a series of skirmishes between the British and Dutch for control of this island, raids and conspiracies that reverberated in English international consciousness and that were an abiding element in the atmosphere of English news-hunger. In 1623, the Dutch tortured and massacred the residents of an English trading post in Amboyna, ten merchants and their staff; the Register’s remark on ‘the justice there’ presumably refers to the plague that descended on Amboyna shortly after the massacre.
151 Dopper] F2 (Doper)
152 SD] placement, F3 (2 Cust.), following ‘Miracle’ (see next note); as marginal note F2
153–4 Any . . . China? Fabulous accounts of missionary activity in the far east were an important feature in English travel writing and news. Jonson here fuels his satire of the appetite for news by drawing on the suspicious derision with which the Jesuits were treated in English popular discourse.
153 miracles] F2 (states 1 and 2); mirac l F2 (state 3); miracle F3
154 SD] placement, F3, following 155 ‘Cooks’; as marginal note F2 (A Coloney / oe Cookes / sent ouer to / convert the / Canniballs.)
154 SD, 157 cannibals The term does not necessarily mean ‘those who eat human flesh’ though that sense does seem to be entailed here; prior to the date of Staple, the term can be used to refer simply to Caribs, noted more frequently for their fierceness in battle than for anthropophagy.
155, 163 SH nathaniel] G; Cla. F2
158 good-eating properly dieted. I have emended the folio pointing (taking some warrant from the reading in F3, which also changes the F2 pointing), though a strained argument might be made for preserving it: the colony of cooks might be imagined as themselves serving as meals for the cannibals, who, having eaten the good colonists, assimilate their values by mere digestion.
158 good-eating] this edn; good, eating F2; good eating F3
158 Christians] F3 (Christians); Cbristians F2
159 colonel Lickfinger’s odd title may refer at once to his undertakings as a colonist (see the preceding line) and to his fantasy of cooking as a military art at 4.2.21–9. ‘Colonel’ is probably trisyllabic.
159 SD The text here is in a confusing state. The marginal note in F2 reads ‘3. Cust. / By Colonel / Lickfinger’ and ‘By’ is plainly an error. In the dialogue that immediately ensues, no character specifically designated as the third customer speaks and instead Lickfinger functions as a customer, even though he is also an employee of the Staple. It is therefore tempting to emend the note, perhaps to ‘Colonel Lickfinger [as Third] Customer’. Yet at 313, F2 specifically assigns a speech to ‘3’, who is there quite distinct from the ‘Lic.’ who speaks at 312. (It may be worth noting that F3 asserts that distinction earlier by reassigning the speech at 160, ‘Who? Captain Lickfinger?’ from ‘C. 2’ to ‘C. 3’ If F3 is correct, then the third customer would have to have entered with the preceding two customers.) On balance, then, we can suppose a third customer, distinct from Lickfinger, either to have entered alongside Lickfinger or to have stepped forward as he enters: one can imagine some comic business – unscripted, admittedly – in which this third tries to make his or her purchase, but is ignored as Lickfinger eagerly urges his own interest.
159 SD] placement, F3, following 160 ‘Lickfinger?’; as marginal note F2
163 venting uttering, publishing; also, selling.
165–80 Jonson draws on Deipnosophistae, 14.660f–661a, where Athenaeus reports a dialogue from Athenion’s lost Samothracians in which a poet, boasting to a philosopher, tells the story of how an eminent ancient cook effected the conversion of primitive men from anthropophagy.
166 spit . . . divinity the secrets of cooking.
168 the true cause i.e. of spiritual reformation and awakening; cf. the similar usage of ‘the cause’ by Ananias and Tribulation in Alch., 3.1.43.
169 to assistant to.
170 broach spit.
172 Japhet’s physic The reference to Japhet’s medicine (‘physic’) primarily indicates the fire that Prometheus, son of the Titan Japetus, stole from heaven for the benefit of mankind, but Lickfinger’s phrasing also recalls Japheth, one of the three sons of Noah, from whom the European peoples were thought to have descended. The dual reference identifies the secrets of cookery with the primitivist Hebraism characteristic of puritan culture; cf. 3.3.16–17.
175 cook The emendation has been traditional since 1716; F3 preserves the folio reading ‘cookes’. The original reading records an arguably acceptable idiom – i.e. ‘to cook us their meats’ – in which the dative, ‘us’, serves as a kind of mild intensifier.
175 cook] 1716; cookes F2
176 our cannibal-Christians i.e. our predatory fellow Christians in Europe. New World cannibals were reported to eat only enemies. A propos of European ‘cannibalism’, Parr, ed. Staple, Robert Daborn’s A Christian Turned Turk, in which a Turk declines conversion to Christianity because of the uncharity of Christians: ‘They will devour one another as pikes do gudgeons.’
179 Anthropophagi H&S plausibly suggest that Jonson would expect this, the Greek word for cannibal, to have its primary accent on the fourth syllable.
183 strew out supplement, decorate.
188 SD] placement, F3, following 188 ‘Hair,’; as marginal note F2
189–90 Jonson proffered the same fantasy to William Drummond; see Informations, 383–5.
192 mystery trade, industry; in this case, barbering.
193–6 bald . . . reverently A diffuse and mild prurience hovers over these lines. Since one of the well-known effects of venereal disease was to make the infected person’s hair fall out, remarkable baldness was often taken as a sign of committed licentiousness.
197 Like lapwings The precocious departure of the newborn lapwing from its nest was proverbial, and the image of the newly hatched lapwing with a shell still on its head, conventional (Dent, L68 and L69). But the point here is not that the coachman wears a hat, like the lapwing’s shell, but that his bald, uncovered head is as smooth as the shell on the lapwing’s head: coachmen of the elite rode with heads uncovered, for which see Devil, 2.3.36–7 and The New Inn, 4.1.17.
197 upon] G; vpo’ F2
199 about] F3; abou F2
200 as dumb . . . fish Proverbial (Dent, F300), appearing also in Poet., 4.3.114ff., King’s Ent., 258–9, and Epicene, 2.2.2.
200 SD Spalato’s In 1616, Marcantonio de Dominis, the then Archbishop of Spalato – notorious as ‘Spalato’ in England – took refuge in England after a dispute with Pope Paul V. Partly because of his advocacy of a unified church in which papal authority would have no place, he came under the protection of James I and was preferred to the deanship of Windsor, but in 1622 he left England for Brussels, then returned to Rome and recanted before Gregory XV. (On the role of the Marquis de Gondomar in Spalato’s return to Rome, see 207n. below.) After Gregory’s death in 1623, Spalato was jailed by the Inquisition; he and his books were posthumously burnt in 1624. Thomas Middleton depicted Spalato in the fickle Fat Bishop in his play, A Game at Chess (1624); his posthumous fate was recounted in a Butter newsbook of 1625. Jonson associates Spalato’s geographical wanderings with contemporary playwrights’ disrespect for the unities of place (202) and his protean spiritual career with the professional inauthenticities of actors (203–4). We might reflect that Jonson’s own life, both as an actor and as a double convert, is also subtly entailed in these lines.
200 SD] placement, F3, following 200 ‘Players,’; as marginal note F2
201 King’s Players A Game at Chess was performed by the King’s Men, though the production was shut down after only nine performances.
205–6 He . . . him! William Rowley had the role of the Fat Bishop in A Game at Chess. Rowley died early in 1626.
207 SD Gondomar’s . . . Chess The Marquis de Gondomar, Spanish ambassador to England (1613–18 and 1620–2), was widely suspected by English puritans of scheming for the restoration of Catholicism in England. His influence with James I certainly worked to moderate hostilities with Spain and, indeed, he was an important sponsor of the eventually aborted Spanish match between the future Charles I and the Spanish Infanta. Spalato had insulted Gondomar late in the latter’s second stint in England, and Gondomar had contributed to Spalato’s downfall by persuading his relative, Pope Gregory XV, to lure Spalato back to Rome. Gondomar was frequently mentioned in the newsbooks and was the object of much satire; see, especially, Thomas Scott’s fabricated news accounts of Gondomar’s machinations, Vox Populi (1620) and The Second Part of Vox Populi (1624). He figures as the Black Knight in ‘the poor English play’ (209), A Game at Chess. His affliction with fistula (ulcer) was widely known; in Middleton’s play (which draws heavily on Scott’s Vox Populi), the Fat Bishop refers to the Black Knight as ‘the fistula of Europe’ (2.2.46).
207 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Fistula,’; as marginal note F2
207–11 A second . . . posteriors Jokes about the abuse of particular books by using their pages to wipe the disapproving reader’s buttocks are common. Jonson probably took the idea for such ‘criticism’ from Rabelais (Pantagruel, Book IV, ch. 52), but there are many analogues, including classical ones.
208 excoriation sore.
212 his . . . Brussels Gondomar was in Brussels on a diplomatic mission to the Infanta Isabella in 1625–6. He no doubt travelled with the special chair and the special litter that he used to relieve the discomfort of his fistula; such a chair is brought on stage in A Game at Chess.
212 chair] conj. Winter; share F2
213 politic crafty.
214 states Arguably a specific reference to the States General, i.e. the Protestant Netherlands.
214 he’s] this edn; h’has F2
214 hooks i.e. the hook-shaped supporting components of a door hinge.
215 What . . . have What price are you asking?
216 SD] in right margin in F2
218 that In a nice touch, Pennyboy Jr suggests that Pecunia’s enthusiasm for the Staple, the irrationally quickened economics of information, is itself news.
219 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Princess!’; as marginal note F2
220 princess] F3 (Princess); Prinecesse F2
221 SD.1–2] in right margin in F2
223 covert haven.
224 rites ceremonies, displays. Cymbal’s courtship offers an archaic conception of the proper use or destiny of wealth, one sharply opposed to the conception embodied in the way Pennyboy Sr treats Pecunia, though not inconsistent with it. Cymbal counters Pennyboy Sr’s miserliness with a vision of luxurious expenditure, aristocratic in its association with ‘blood and birth’. Pennyboy Canter dissociates himself from both his brother’s economy of mere retention and from Cymbal’s economy of mere display by turning Cymbal’s ‘sordid’ back against him at 243.
230 meat food.
230 curious elaborate.
234 his its. The odd suggestion that the water used to temper wine is somehow proper to that wine, ‘his’ water, makes a small contribution to Cymbal’s evocation of extravagant luxury. He promises to infuse music into even the most mechanical aspects of dining: serving, clearing away dishes, and even the mixing of wine with water. To say that the water already belongs to the wine, is ‘his’, is to suggest how unremarkable is the activity of mixing – yet, however unremarkable, even that will be accompanied with harmony.
235 I.e. you are as persuasive as – and therefore as bad as – a courtier, or worse. Pecunia’s use of ‘courtier’ recalls Doll’s when she dismisses Mammon’s blandishments: ‘Oh, you play the courtier’ (Alch., 4.1.66).
237 Excellent] F3; Exellent F2
238 state Several meanings of the term are pertinent here: pomp, high standing, person of high standing (OED, 17 and 18, 16, and 24 respectively).
239–48 Dazzle . . . any Although Jonson seems to imply that the moral lapse described here was a specifically early modern problem, these lines derive from three epistles by Seneca, probably by way of the prose renderings of these same source texts to be found in Discoveries, 980–5 and 1030–3 – for this seems to be an instance of the practice, to which Jonson adverts in Informations, 293, of producing a text in prose prior to versifying it. The Senecan sources are: At excaecant populum et in se convertunt opes, si numerati multum ex aliqua domo effertur (‘Yet wealth strikes the people blind and wins them over, when some huge heap is turned out from within the [rich man’s] house’, Epistles, 119.11); Ab hac divina contemplatione abductum animum in sordida et humilia pertraximus, ut avaritiae serviret (‘Our souls, withdrawn from divine contemplation, we have dragged to sordid and degraded things, that they might serve avarice’, 110.9); and Nec tantum parietibus aut lacunaribus ornamentum tenue praetenditur: omnium istorum, quos incedere altos vides, bratteata felicitas est. Inspice, et scies, sub ista tenui membrana dignitatis quantum mali iaceat. Haec ipsa res . . . pecunia, ex quo in honore esse coepit, verus rerum honor cecidit, ‘Nor is such a thin veneer stretched across walls and ceilings: all of those exalted men whom you see prancing about have only a gilded happiness. Look within and you’ll know how much that is vile lies beneath that thin membrane of dignity. Ever since that very thing . . . money, began to be honored, those things in which true honor inheres lost credit’ (115.9–10).
239 vulgar (1) belonging to commoners; (2) tasteless.
241 end Deftly ambiguous: Pennyboy Canter thus suggests ironically that the dazzling displays that Cymbal says are the proper function, the destiny or ‘end’ of wealth are, in fact, the surest means to exhaust or ‘end’ wealth.
242 contemplate (1) aspire to; (2) consider.
245 membranes thin sheets or layers (OED, 3, citing this as the earliest instance).
248 ’gan . . . any began to have any reputation, began to be in any way commendable.
248 SD.1–2] in left margin in F2
249 Band’s mockery suggests the extravagance of the praise which Fitton has lavished on the Staple in his attempt to enlist them in persuading their mistress to take up residence there. Band says, in effect, that it’s a pity that he doesn’t have the godlike power to transform the Staple by fiat, making it as splendid as he has said it is. See 256n. below.
252–3 Wax tells Fitton that he is unwise to lavish his attentions on her, that it is more important that her mistress view the Staple than that she herself do so.
256 I thank you Picklock seems to be ignoring the renewal of Fitton’s persuasive efforts and responding with pleasure to Wax’s confirmation, offered at 253, of Pecunia’s freedom to view the Staple. Note that in the long run Broker and the ladies-in-waiting find Picklock more persuasive than Fitton, the lawyer’s approach more attractive than the courtier’s.
257–62 If . . . please Mortgage and Statute imply that they would have the best chance of winning Pecunia’s favor to the Staple were it an alienable property, one that could be wrested away from Cymbal (‘him’, 259) or his heirs. A chattel (257), for example, is a moveable property, and much more easy to transfer than real estate. Pecunia’s ladies know that their mistress’s interest in Cymbal and the Staple is merely acquisitive.
258 term of life Although Picklock assures Mortgage that the Staple is alienable, that it is Cymbal’s to give or deed away, Picklock also implicitly concedes that Cymbal has tenure of the property only for the duration of his life. Any transfer of such property would be impermanent. At 266–7, Band suggests that Pecunia might be interested if someone could insure Cymbal’s life (and hence his tenure) for at least seven years.
260 state of years Like a proprietary interest for ‘term of life’, a ‘state of years’ is a term-limited property, in this case simply a fixed number of years, but the difference between the two is very important to Statute. She is (heartlessly) aware that a property held for term of life will revert to its original owner (or to the owner’s heirs) once the tenant dies; property held for term of years, on the other hand, would not revert upon death of the tenant. Statute knows that her mistress will prefer a property held for a long fixed term to a property held for term of life, since life can be short.
261 Statute-Staple, Statute-Merchant These are both old forms for securing a debt, by means of an oath sworn before the mayor of a staple market, authenticated by the seal of the staple. They thus served as devices for streamlining commercial transactions. The remedy for default was similarly streamlined: the creditor was entitled to simple seizure of the debtor’s lands and goods, and the debtor could be summarily imprisoned: because of the peremptory character of the remedy, statute merchant came to be known as ‘pocket judgement’. Statute’s glee here has more than a tincture of rapaciousness.
263, 264 His, he Referring to Fitton.
265 brooch . . . gem Apparently formulaic: see Poet., 1.2.131 and Ham., 4.7.92–3.
266–70 He . . . thus Let Alderman Security and his deputy merely insure Cymbal’s life for a single seven-year period and, as soon as he bestirs himself (‘upon his scarlet motion’) and old Chain, the deputy, begins silently to twirl his chain, you shall see what we will do on Cymbal’s behalf. Band and Statute imply that only on such a condition would they, or could they, interest Pecunia in the Staple.
268 scarlet Referring to the colour of aldermanic robes.
269 draws (1) attracts; (2) compels.
270 twirls it thus i.e. twirls the chain (from which Chain takes his name) thus. Wax apparently mimics Chain’s self-important gesture here.
270 moving referring both to the twirling chain and the persuasive force of oratory (in which case, ‘oratory’ refers to the symbolic display of aldermanic authority).
272 fine poet Samuel Daniel. In his ‘Complaint of Rosamund’ (1592), Daniel speaks of the silent eloquence of amorous eyes (lines 121–2). Jonson had already reproduced Daniel’s phrasing in EMO, 3.1.89–90, to less markedly satiric purpose.
273 family of scorn A play on the Family of Love, the name by which a secretive group of Protestants, followers of the teachings of Hendrik Niclaes, were known. ‘Familism’ originated in Holland in the 1540s, and its influence was felt in England within a decade. Committed to communal ownership of property and antinomian in tendency, the Familists were widely suspected of practising adultery.
278 Yes, if Note that the force of this is concessive; i.e. as if Picklock were saying, ‘Yes but if, etc.’.
278 much advance offer considerable advantage.
281–2 Though Broker claims to understand (‘apprehend’) Picklock’s intentions, his comment is ambiguous: it is unclear whether Broker understands that he is to help Picklock secure Pecunia as Cymbal’s bride or as a whore to be pimped out from the Staple.
283 change exchange. The line initiates a final discussion of strategy that Picklock and Broker will now carry on unheard as they step aside.
284 meat food.
285 Bethlem Gabor The flamboyant general Gabriel Bethlen – in Hungarian, Bethlén Gábor – ascended to the throne of Transylvania in 1613. In 1619, he led a famous anti-Habsburg revolt in Hungary, an insurrection that continued until 1626. Mercurial in his political and religious allegiances, Gabor was an especially attractive subject for sensationalist news.
286 SD] placement, F3, following 286 ‘sound:’; as marginal note F2
287–8 Cf. Und. 15.1–3.
291 in the air The apocalyptic cast of this report is, in fact, quite in keeping with the tenor of the more extravagant newsbooks of the day. Parr (ed. Staple) adduces a report in The Continuation of the Weekly News, 5 October 1624, of ‘two fearful and terrible armies in the sky . . . ordered in battle ’rray’.
292 married Gabor married Catharina von Hohenzollern, sister of the Elector of Brandenburg, on 2 March 1626.
294 Bavier Bavaria. See 32n. above.
294 SD.2] in right margin in F2
295 SH nathaniel] G; Cla. F2
295 grey habit The garb of the Franciscan friars.
297 Tilly See 24n., Tilley.
298–301 Ha’ . . . coronation It was customary for the London guilds to mount elaborate pageants to celebrate royal coronations, though in fact the coronation of Charles, on 2 February 1626, was remarkably lacking in such shows. The coronation had been postponed because of plague, and the intended public shows were aborted; in Britain’s Remembrancer (1628), George Wither refers to the ‘half-built pageants’ and the ‘direful shows’ (K2v) that befit them. Jonson devised some of these shows, built but not performed; see Royal Entry (1625) in vol. 5.
301 SD] placement, F3 (4. Cust. The Pageants.), following 297 ‘down’; as marginal note F2
301–2 It . . . understood i.e. the expectation was misguided, ill-informed. (‘It’ refers to ‘the country’.) Lickfinger’s observation sustains the play’s steady criticism of prejudice and overheated interpretive practices.
303 but wood One of the recurrent themes of Jonson’s quarrel with Inigo Jones was the vacuity of shows lacking words, and the intellectual primacy of words in any truly estimable form of theatrical entertainment.
305 May Day In England a day of secular festivity.
306 Memnon’s statue The statue at Karnak of Amenhotep III (who was popularly known as ‘Memnon’) had been famous since the first century BC for the sounds it made when struck by the sun’s rays. The colossus apparently acquired its ‘voice’ as a result of damage from an earthquake in 27 BC; presumably, the expansion of broken rocks on the side warmed by the sun produced a noisy friction. Attempts to repair the statue in the third century apparently silenced it. Jonson mentions this statue in Burse (199ff.), where the statue of Apollo sings.
307 SD] placement, F3 (5. Cust. The new Park in the Forrest of Fools.); as marginal note F2
308 fame rumour.
308–9 Forest . . . park Properly speaking, a forest is a wild or semi-wild area in the property of the crown. A park may be either wild or a more domesticated landscape, but is distinguished by being enclosed. The idea of a ‘forest of fools’ seems to have been inspired by the tradition of imagining assemblies of the foolish, the leading instance of which is described in Barclay’s Ship of Fools (1509).
310 Cuckolds of antler Cuckolds, husbands of unfaithful wives, were comically imagined to grow horns.
310 rascals immature or inferior male deer. The new park is thus designed to segregate those deer/men with impressive antlers – as if cuckold’s horns were somehow a sign of virility – from those of less robust constitution and appearance.
311 heads antlers.
312 cuckolds-pollard A pollard is a naturally horned animal that has cast – that is, shed – its horns.
313 SD] in margin in F2
319 ordered the rolls set the manuscript rolls of news in order, after the busy consultation provoked by the inquiries of the morning’s customers.
3.3 ] F2 (Act. III. Scene. III. )
0 SD.1–2] G; Shvnfield. Almanack. Madri- / gal. Clerkes. f2
0.2 SD] this edn.; see commentary.
3.3.0 SD.1-2 The Jeerers . . . forth The folio reading is slightly confused here. Unusually, but not uncharacteristically, Jonson seems to have assigned a metatheatrical title, ‘The Jeerers’, to the scene, perhaps as a marginal gloss, but this feature seems to have confused the compositor, who appended the words to the end of line 2. Gifford attempts to resolve the resultant confusion by assigning the words, as a kind of expostulation, to Nathaniel; he also entertains the possibility that they should be assigned to Tom, a suggestion that H&S and others adopt. The reading adopted here, with its relineation of the folio reading for the opening of the scene, eliminates the abnormal brevity of the first line as originally printed.
1–2 ] relineated this edn; By . . . Clerkes, / Where . . . know? The Ieerers. / Alm. Where’s . . . forth. F2
6 Apollo See 2.5.127–30n.
7–8 Muses . . . Graces The distinction seems to be between the nine Muses as austere divine patronesses of the (difficult) arts and the three Graces as pleasant patronesses of (easy) beauty and pleasure. In the verses that Jonson composed for inscription over the door to the Apollo room at The Devil, he observes, ‘He the half of life abuses / That sits watering with the muses. / Those dull girls no good can mean us; / Wine it is the milk of Venus’ (‘Verses over the Door . . . into the Apollo’, lines 9–12, 5.422). In the present context, of course, we are invited to imagine the ‘two gentlewomen called the Graces’ as women of dubious propriety.
13 Dutch The Dutch were stereotyped as hard drinkers.
16–17 that . . . Adam For Lickfinger’s belief in the antiquity of the cook’s trade, see his reference to ‘old Japhet’s physic’ (3.2.172 and n.).
17 quotes . . . salads i.e. Lickfinger refers to Adam’s having made broths and salads. Genesis (1.30, 2.16–17, 3.18) suggests that Adam was a vegetarian, and that meat-eating began with Noah and his sons after the flood (Gen. 9.3).
18 he’s i.e. Adam is.
18–19 translated . . . almonds The boast imputed to Lickfinger is ambiguous. A general term of praise, immortal also suggests that Adam has somehow been immortalized in Lickfinger’s creations. Translated in leaves the means to immortality uncertain: Adam’s soul having transmigrated into the piecrust (for this sense of translated, see the fantasia on metempsychosis at Volp., 1.2.29), his body having been transmuted into pastry, or the body having been encased in the crust (for which, see the use of coffin to mean ‘crust’ at 2.3.74). Jonson thus lends a necromantic (and slightly macabre) cast to Lickfinger’s sense of professional self-importance. This also sets up Lickfinger’s comparison of cook and poet: if Lickfinger’s cuisine is a kind of embalming, then a cook may be said to confer immortality – a power commonly claimed by classical and early modern poets.
20–4 He . . . cookery These serio-comic lines rehearse themes from the encounter between the Cook and the Poet at the opening of Neptune, 38–44. In Neptune, the boastful Cook claims that cookery is superior to poetry (despite their equal antiquity), whereas Lickfinger insists on their equivalence and ultimate identity. On the relation of cookery and poetry, see also the first prologue of Epicene; Cynthia (Q), Praeludium, 143–50; ‘Ode (‘Come, leave’)’, 21–30 (6.310); Martial, 9.81, etc. and, crucially here, Athenaeus, Deipnosophistae, 1.7f, 7.290b–293e, and passim.
22 draws derives.
26 the magisterium the philosopher’s stone. As a comparable instance in which the analogy is drawn between alchemical and culinary practices, Parr, ed. Staple, cites Overbury’s Characters (1615), in which the French Cook’s master is said to refer to the cook as ‘his Alchemist that can extract gold out of herbs, roots, mushrooms or any thing’ (M3v).
27 juleps medicated drinks, sweet drinks into which medicines are mixed.
28–33 I was . . . dinner Cf. Athenaeus, Deipnosophistae, 290c.
28 olla podrida A highly spiced stew of mixed meats and vegetables (Span.); the term was coming to be used metaphorically to denote any sort of miscellany. In Neptune, the Cook speaks of the antimasque that he has devised as ‘an Olla Podrida, / But I have persons, to present the meats’ (168–9). The fantastic disorder that Jonson builds into many of his antimasques is linked, in Neptune, not only with the exotic jumble of the olla podrida, but with the miscellaneous and irresponsible character of newsbooks, for among those whom the Cook has enlisted to impersonate his meats are several members and enthusiasts of the burgeoning news trade: ‘Grave Master Ambler, news-master of Paul’s, / Supplies your capon, and grown Captain Buz, / His emissary, underwrites for Turkey’ both tumble forth from the stewpot, along with a ‘frisking husband / That reads’ his wife ‘the corantos every week’ (198–201).
34–5 Siren . . . Arion Cf. Neptune, 118–37. These allusions – to the sirens whose song lured sailors to their deaths and to Arion whose song charms the dolphins, who save him after he has been cast overboard by larcenous sailors – maintain the link between the persuasive power of poetic song and that which has been attributed to Lickfinger’s cuisine, both here and at 3.2.133–80.
38 conger A type of eel.
40 rare excellent, nonpareil.
41 paradoxes unorthodox beliefs.
41 pseudodoxes false beliefs.
46 o’this some of this.
46 store supply.
50, 53, 56 SH nathaniel] G; Cla. F2
50 Duke Humphrey’s The proverb ‘to dine with Duke Humphrey’ (Dent, D637∗) meant to go hungry. According to Stow (Survey, 1.335), poor but fashionable young men with no place to dine habitually loitered in Duke Humphrey’s Walk, in the middle aisle of the nave of the old St Paul’s, where stood a monument mistakenly thought to be the tomb of Duke Humphrey (though actually the tomb of Sir John Beuchamo), apparently in hopes of securing a last-minute dinner invitation.
52 obsonare famem ambulando provoke an appetite by walking; Cicero, Tusculan Disputations, 5.97. Tom seems to misconstrue the passage, apparently understanding it to mean slake an appetite by walking.
54 I . . . you Reported by Gifford to be proverbial, although editors differ on its meaning. In A Notable Discovery of Cosenage (1592), Robert Greene’s guide to Elizabethan confidence tricks, a ‘setter’ who has acquired personal information concerning a new arrival in London greets the newcomer as he would an old friend: ‘What Goodman Barton, how fare all our friends about you? You are well met; I have the wine for you; you are welcome to town’ (A4v). The passage suggests that Parr (ed. Staple) is correct in surmising that this is a standard idiom meaning ‘Let me buy you a drink’.
3.4 Location: The house of Pennyboy Sr.
3.4 ] F2 (Act. III. Scene. IV.)
0 SD] G; Peni-boy. Se. Broker. Cymbal. F2
1 SD] in right margin in F2
1 SD started startled.
1 Hercules’ star In Ptolemy’s Tetrabiblos, 1.9, the star of Hercules, which is found in the head of the constellation Gemini, is said to share the astrological qualities of the planet Mars, which effects disharmony and destruction; see J. Parr (1945b), 117.
3 charge i.e. Pecunia.
5 Pennyboy Sr’s motive seems not like that of Morose in Epicene, who hates the noise of other people speaking; rather, his miserliness seems to be so great that he has a horror of expending even words.
8 talk . . . year i.e. the Staple is rumoured to be capable of producing a profit of £6,000 a year. The rumour is itself important to Jonson’s conception: once again, the business of news, its capacity to stimulate curiosity, is shown to be an object of curiosity.
10 SD] G (Exit Broker, and returns with Cymbal.)
14 pain, pain Misers were traditionally supposed to be afflicted by gout; see C. T. Wright (1934), 176–97, and cf. Epigr. 31.
14 SD] in right margin in F2
15 be Argus-eyed be as vigilant as Argus. Hera, suspecting that her husband Zeus had had a dalliance with Io, changed Io into a heifer; Hera chose the herdsmand Argus to guard Io, because Argus had eyes all over his body.
17 Bacchus The god of wine, his name used here metonymically for intoxication itself. The paired opposition of Apollo, as patron of the rational arts, and Bacchus, as the god of wild and festive indulgence, is solidly in place as early as Aeschylus’s Eumenides (458 BC) and is surely of even greater antiquity.
21 SD] placement, F3, following ‘short’; as marginal note F2
22 sense i.e. sense of hearing.
22 SD] Parr, subst.; not in F2
25 quicker i.e. more loudly. Pennyboy is opposing quick speech and his own dead or deteriorating hearing.
27 moiety] F2 (moyetie state 2.; moyetie / state 1)
30 certain . . . casual Jonson could expect that the elder Pennyboy’s preference for certain profits would have provoked slightly disapproving responses from his audience, since it comes near to falling under the strictures on usury, which traditional Christianity stigmatized for unnaturally guaranteeing profits. A variety of business practices had been developed for getting around the prohibition on usury, but the disapproval of its fundamental structure persisted. Certainly Pennyboy’s insistence that his preference for guaranteed profit is ‘straight . . . just, and upright’ (32–3) signals the perversity of principles.
32 paths.] F2 (paths, / state 2.; paths / state 1.)
34 two i’the hundred See 2.1.4–5n. above.
36 husbands caretakers.
36 stocks supplies of goods.
38 scatters away wastes (resources).
40 haunches i.e. breeches or tight-fitting skirts; the figure seems to be Jonson’s invention (cf. Bart. Fair, 4.5.56).
40 with a pox The phrase is poised between being an emphatic expletive (of the order of ‘damn it!’) and being simply descriptive of velvet-covered haunches infected with venereal disease.
41 taken up borrowed (on credit), but with an under meaning of ‘infected’.
41 use interest.
41 SD] placement, F3, following 42 ‘manners.’; as marginal note F2
42 Bate of Reduce or forgive.
45–68 Who . . . lives Pennyboy’s indictment of the times derives from Seneca’s Epistles, 110 and 119, on which Jonson had already drawn for 3.2.239–48. He had already rendered his Senecan sources in prose in Discoveries, 950–1007.
47 kitchens] F3 (Kitchens); kitckins F2
47 SD] in left margin in F2
48 stews holding-ponds or tanks for fish soon to be cooked.
48 magazines storehouses.
49 tissues sumptuous fabrics, sometimes with gold or silver threads woven in.
49 tissues] F2, state 2; tyssues F2, state 1
50 things] F2 (things –)
52 want necessary be in need of necessary (things).
53 gold chamberpots Jonson probably takes his inspiration here from both Martial, 1.37 and More, Utopia, ed. Surtz and Hexter, 4.152.
54 napkins handkerchiefs.
54 family i.e. of retainers, presumably. In the parallel passages in Jonson’s source, Seneca speaks of matched cohorts of beautiful servingmen.
55 see her watch her (i.e. Nature).
55 Poor and wise, she] Wh, subst.; Poore, and wise she, F2
60 Laid . . . show On display (for selection). The suggestion is that the pomp of all European courts are gathered together as a kind of shop for the exclusive patronage of ‘the emperor of pleasures’.
62 this Ambiguously referring both to the emperor’s self-display and to the admiration it elicits, and thus preparing for the proportionate expression in 66, ‘as little yours as the spectators’’.
63 bravery grand appearance, fine accoutrements.
65 healthful healthy.
68 entertains (1) occupies, amuses; (2) entangles, distracts (OED, IV.9). Cf. Blackness, 262–4, where the ‘entertainment’ of the daughters of Niger by their dancing partners must be understood as an entanglement, given that their partners are described as ‘Sirens of the land’ (255).
69 monopoly Jonson often imagines central thematic encounters as a competition for exclusive control of discourse, of representation. Here Cymbal, the vulgarizing purveyor of information tempered to the taste of the moment, squares off against a furiously moralizing social satirist – a frenzied version of Jonson himself – and accuses him of making debate impossible by monopolizing communication itself.
70 SD] placement, F3, following ‘all.’; as marginal note F2
72 here] F3; hete F2
72 an if.
74, 81, 84 SD] in margin in F2
77 civility code of behaviour. The term is used ironically here, since its more common meaning – a generally accepted code of behaviour – is so obviously inapplicable.
79 venture highly speculative investment.
80 bark sea-going vessel with sails. The idiom ‘bark of six’ (or ‘bark of sixteen’) is not common, though it may refer to tonnage or to the number of guns with which it was furnished.
80 if even if.
83 overflow] F2 (ouerflow –)
84 SD] placement, F3, following 83 ‘overflow –’; as marginal note F2
84 Caterpillar, moth Both terms used commonly figuratively to describe a socially destructive or parasitic person. Cf. Epigr. 15.
87 dryfat A large vessel for storing dry goods. Jonson’s phrase suggests a barrel that was once watertight, but now, its staves having dried out and shrunk, useful only for dry storage.
87 SD] G; not in F2
THIRD INTERMEAN 2 Silver Street In Cheapside. So named for the silversmiths resident there, according to Stow.
2 seat headquarters.
4 receipt formula. The term can also mean ‘recipe’, as ‘ingredients’ might imply, but receipt is primarily used to denote the formula for medicines and other compounds devised to produce specific, salutary results. That said, the Gossips will recur to a culinary vocabulary at 11, after the alchemical idiom of 3–10.
6 in chimia subjected to alchemical analysis or decomposition; cf. Alch., 2.3.99 and East. Ho!, 4.1.176.
7 aldermanity Cf. Und. 44.46 and Mag. Lady, 5.7.82. Probably Jonson’s invention, in comic imitation of human, humanity.
10 distilled reduced to his essence. Mirth sustains the string of chemical metaphors.
10 are . . . that have neglected that topic.
11 exotic Parr (ed. Staple) observes that Jonson is quite possibly the first to use the word in English (in EMO, 4.3.24) and that he may well have first run across it in Rabelais, Pantagruel, 4.2.
14 come o’ make any approach to.
Third intermean 15 in my] F3 (in my); my in F2
15–22 bake-house . . . Fields Tattle’s proffered sources of news are all situated in and around Westminster, with the exception of the geographically unparticularized bake-house. An element of locally articulated cultural competition operates here, with Tattle opposing the court-centred milieu of Westminster to the less exalted commercial atmosphere of St Paul’s and the City.
16 conduits fountains, natural gathering places and, thus, sources of gossip.
17 Alm’ries Both the Great and Little Almonries lie to the west of Westminster Abbey.
17 the two Sanctuaries The two precincts that lay to the north and west of Westminster Abbey afforded substantial protections for those accused of felonies and treasons, making these areas especially attractive places of criminal refuge – and therefore, especially productive engines of news. In 1623, James undertook to curtail the protections of sanctuary, not only in Westminster, but in the other sanctuaries across the kingdom.
18 King Street The main thoroughfare between Whitehall and Westminster.
18 King Street] F2 (Kings-street)
18 Cannon Row] Kifer; Chanon-row F2
19 slips Not only youngsters and cuttings, but also mistakes and counterfeits and, thence, bastards.
19 Gardiner’s Lane Running between King and Delahay Streets, Gardiner’s Lane lay quite close to Jonson’s own residence in Westminster.
21 Bowling Alley There was almost certainly a bowling alley in what became Bowling Street in Westminster. Bowling was a common pastime for citizens and gentlemen.
22–3 how . . . there Here Mirth cheerfully suggests that Tattle could tell you how many spirits were conjured in Tuttle Fields, even though no spirits were ever conjured there. Mirth is running away with herself in cheerful confusion: in the next lines she will speak of Dr Lamb (for whom, see 1 Int., 38n.) being ridden in lion’s form by the same boy whom he carries in his teeth.
26 limb imp; an abbreviated form of the idiom ‘limb of Satan’.
27 the school Lamb supported himself as an educator early in his career, though there is no corroborating record of his having been employed at the eminent Westminster School as this passage implies.
33 An If. The phrase means, roughly, ‘If it were left to me to decide’. A characteristic idiom for Censure: cf. 2 Int. 27.
34 cunning man one possessed of esoteric wisdom, a conjurer. Because exorcisms and other negotiations with spirits were customarily conducted in Latin, schoolmasters were often enlisted for the purpose.
36 playboys Censure alludes both to the annual performance of Latin plays at Westminster School and to the recruitment of schoolboys and apprentices to the children’s theatrical companies. Censure seems to share the puritan suspicion that children were tainted, if not debauched, by their involvement in the theatre.
38 Terence The comedies of Publius Terentius Afer, a Roman playwright of the second century BC, were among the core texts of the early modern grammar school curriculum, and students often had their first experiences as amateur actors in termly performances of comedies by Plautus, Seneca, and Terence.
39 no more parliaments Charles I first dissolved Parliament in the summer of 1625, having been denied subsidies for war with Spain.
40 Zeal-of-the-land Busy Censure’s champion in this campaign for educational reform is the meddlesome puritan of Bart. Fair. This nicely concludes this explosion of censoriousness: as Censure fears, the dramatic poet’s fictions confuse and deceive the injudicious, imposing themselves as truth. Jonson has already lampooned a less reactionary form of this ‘supervexated’ credulousness in his treatment of the Staple’s eager customers.
40 gossip familiar acquaintance.
41 painful painstaking, though the primary sense of the term has secondary relevance here.
43 with a wanion A formulaic imprecation, meaning, roughly, ‘with a plague on it’.
4.1 Act 4 takes place in the Devil Tavern.
4.1 ] F2 (Act. IIII. Scene. I.)
1 The Jeerers enter having repaired from dinner in another room.
1 breathe . . . awhile cease temporarily – ‘take a breather’ – from pledging healths.
2 dinner A midday meal.
4 water urinate. The coarseness suggests that Pennyboy Jr is slightly drunk.
5 jeer Although jeering has been instanced since early in the play, Pennyboy Jr’s request for a clarifying definition effectively invites the audience to a special moment of reflection on the practice. Gifford proposed that Jonson was staging a game newly in vogue, whereas Parr (ed. Staple) conjectures that Jonson is inventing a game that gives formal articulation to tendencies he saw manifest, informally if insistently, in contemporary social behaviour. Jeering turns out to be a systematic degradation of satire (and a sharp inspection of some satirists’ motives): deplorably unconstructive, jeering replaces the satirist’s fearlessness with a weak indiscrimination, self-criticism with self-betrayal, and purpose with pastime.
5 Expect i.e. You’ll see.
7 use customarily play.
8 withal with.
10 grateful] F3; gratefnll F2
11 Have at you A phrase of warning, announcing an immediate assault.
12 coat type. This use of the term derives from the prevalence of liveries, uniforms designed to indicate either professional or religious association or service in a particular household.
12 Bedlam A hospital for the insane in Bishopsgate, established in 1547, when Henry VIII turned over the dissolved priory of Saint Mary of Bethlehem to the City of London.
18 of shifting from being.
19–20 law . . . law The lady’s authority, based on her natural desirability, exceeds the lawyer’s, based on his professional standing as expert in the English common law. The terms ‘law of nature’ and ‘common law’ are used casually here as bits of jurisprudential jargon, though they were linked as having foundational status within different legal traditions, ‘law of nature’ designating a set of natural or naturally reasonable legal principles on which a legal system might rest, and ‘common law’ serving, in a tradition most firmly identified with the great early seventeenth-century legal authority Sir Edward Coke, as a set of legal traditions whose foundational authority derived from their immemorial antiquity.
20 Quit Equalled, touché.
27 coat-card A playing card distinguished by a figure wearing a coat; in this instance, referring to the jack or knave; cf. 2.3.53.
28 last lowest.
29 readings versions of a phrase as it appears in different manuscripts.
30 varlet Technically, a knight’s attendant, and therefore synonymous with the very technical sense of ‘knave’, but this precise meaning of both terms was slightly archaic; the more colloquial meaning of both varlet and knave was ‘rogue’.
31 shall who shall. Canter is saying that if Pennyboy Sr is a knave, then the fool Madrigal is the knave’s pre-eminent subordinate – in effect, ‘the biggest fool’.
32 the right-hand file that line (or ‘file’) of battle which takes precedence. In Cor. the phrase is used to designate the patricians (2.1.20).
39 ’gainst supper in preparation for supper (but not now).
40 bale bundle; the word is sometimes used to denote a bundle of a particular size (OED, 2).
43 scurvy contemptible.
45 patrico Underworld cant for the priest or patriarch of beggars. The Patrico is one of the characters in Gypsies.
45 archpriest This title was used for the senior cleric of the Catholic clergy in England; these lines insinuate an analogy between the two underground organizations of the Catholic clergy and the beggars.
46 primate metropolitan Technically, a metropolitan presides over an ecclesiastical province, while a primate is either a metropolitan or one who presides over other metropolitans. In effect, Shunfield develops Madrigal witticism by describing Canter as a very, very superior rascal, a kind of Archbishop of Canterbury.
47 shot-clog Referring to Pennyboy Jr. The compound combines a word for the tally and a word for a block impediment: a shot-clog is the lumpish member of a group who gets stuck paying the bill. Cf. EMO, 5.5.37, Poet., 1.2.13, and East. Ho!, 1.1.109.
50–1 so . . . rogue so much in your good graces, but why is this rogue in comparably high esteem?
51 good words. i.e. speak gently.
52 jingling In Gypsies (Burley, 420–22, Windsor, 478–80), Jonson alludes to the jingle of gypsies, perhaps because of a gypsy custom of sewing small bells to their garments.
53 But . . . in Save for the cant of peddlers and gypsies.
54 SD] in right margin in F2
58 Provide the while In the meantime, get ready. Pennyboy Jr is asking the Canter to prepare to make that proof promised in 56–7, that all professions depend on cant.
4.2 ] F2 (Act. IIII. Scene. II.)
2 SD] placement, F3; as marginal note F2 (Lickfinger is challeng’d by Madrigal / of au argument.)
4.2 2 SD of to.
4 gentlewomen] G; Gentlemen F2
4 gentlewomen Gifford’s emendation of the folio’s reading, ‘gentlemen’, is justified both on metrical grounds and by the formality of Lickfinger’s challenge, which seems to be warranted by the unusual presence of these ladies rather than by the customary community of these men.
5–40 The debate recycles, sometimes verbatim, a central passage from the encounter between the Cook and the Poet at Neptune, 38–77, itself much indebted to Jonson’s readings in Athenaeus’s Deipnosophistae. Jonson had already drawn on Neptune for Lickfinger’s encomium on cookery at 3.3.20–39.
5–7 The perfect . . . kitchen Madrigal’s affirmation concerns both the historical origins of poetry and its continued sustenance; he derives poetry from the lively (‘quick’) inspiration of drink rather than from the heavy nourishment of food. Cf. Neptune, 38–45.
8 Oracle of the Bottle The goal of Panurge and Pantagruel’s pilgrimage in Books 4 and 5 of Pantagruel; in answer to Panurge’s earnest request for sacred counsel, the oracle utters the single exhortation, ‘Trinch’.
9 Trismegistus ‘Thrice-greatest’. The term is the standard epithet for the mythical Egyptian magus Hermes Trismegistus, held by many early modern intellectuals to be the source of a primal body of esoteric knowledge, variously vulgarized by the likes of Plato and Ptolemy. In Pantagruel, 5.45, the mystified Panurge refers to the oracle as the ‘Bouteille trimegiste’, thrice-greatest Bottle.
9 Pegasus The winged horse the blow of whose hoof unleashed the fountain of Hippocrene as he sprang to heaven from the mountain of Helicon. Pegasus often figures as a symbol of poetic inspiration.
12 dresser kitchen table or sideboard.
19 man o’ men In the background of this overblown praise of cookery is the residue of Jonson’s quarrel with Inigo Jones, the brilliant designer for many of the most impressive entertainments at the Jacobean court. Jones, as architect, claimed the prestige for which Vitruvius had argued, that architecture was the pre-eminent human art, and that the architect, whose practice obliged him to have mastered almost the entire range of human theoretical and practical learning (see below, 35–7), was, in effect, ‘the man o’ men / For a professor’ (19–20).
20 professor professional man, specialist (OED, 5); cf. Volp., Epistle, 8–9, on the ‘professors’ of poetry.
21 builds . . . fortifies Such culinary constructions, known as ‘subtilties’, were not unusual, though they were customarily reserved for special occasions.
22 curious exotic.
23 dry-ditches] H&S; dry-dishes F2
23 dry-ditches Following the comparable passage in Neptune (60), Gifford emends F2 ‘dry-dishes’ to this, the standard term of military engineering for a dry moat. The folio reading might have merit as Lickfinger’s strained culinary play on this military term.
24 Mounts marrowbones To represent cannons on edible battlefields. Cf. Cartwright’s The Ordinary, in which Slicer describes just such a military ‘subtilty’ (2.1.586–8).
24 fifty-angled The great concern of early modern military architects was the structure of the enceinte or surface of any fortification, which was usually distributed into a complex but regular array of angled walls designed both to minimize the damage effected by an enemy’s projectiles and to enable the defenders to fire against enemies attempting to breach the enceinte as well as those in the foreground of a fortification.
25 bulwark Rampart, defensive wall or earthwork.
25 outerworks The outer walls of a fortified structure or the embankments surrounding the structure.
26 ramparts . . . crust H&S adduce Massinger, A New Way to Pay Old Debts, 1.2.25–6, in which the cook, Furnace, protests the insufficient appreciation of his efforts, as when he extends himself to ‘raise fortifications in the pastry, / Such as might serve for models in the Low Countries’.
30 influence . . . stars Although this might appear simply to be a parody of the astrological considerations in medical practice, this is a theme taken up by Athenaeus in the Deipnosophistae (9.337f–378d), bolstered by a long quotation from The Liar, by the minor Greek dramatist Sosipater; see Neptune, 48–77 and n.
31 their . . . qualities The referent of ‘their’ is ambiguous, bridging both ‘stars’ and ‘meats’. The ‘seasons’ of stars are the periods of stellar influence (or of the lack thereof), though, of course, the term blurs towards the culinary. ‘Tempers’ refers to those distinctive mixtures of components that determine the character of an object, and, specifically, they are the form of an object’s susceptibility to stellar influence, but it can also be used to designate the various ways in which the influences of different stars combine to affect an object. ‘Qualities’, although a general term perfectly applicable to culinary ingredients, also has a specific meaning in astrology, referring to very particular planetary associations of individual stars.
32 so to fit This operates with double grammar: (1) knows so well how to fit; and (2) therefore knows how to fit.
33 chemists i.e. alchemists.
34 Rosy Cross] F2 (Rosie-crosse)
34 Rosy Cross See 3.2.99 and n.
39 fury Referring to the furor poeticus, the inspired madness of poets, one of the four divine madnesses distinguished by Plato in the Phaedrus (265b).
41 SD] in right margin in F2
44 Charybdis The whirlpool paired with the monster Scylla as the twin hazards that threatened mariners – of whom the most eminent were Jason and the Argonauts and Odysseus and his crew. The description of Charybdis in the Odyssey (12.101–7) is especially vivid.
45 shelves reefs.
49–56 Pecunia . . . nectar One of the oddest effects in the play quietly insinuates itself here in Pennyboy Jr’s praise of Pecunia. However commonplace the praise, it begins with fluency and grace and, most remarkably, it seems to reflect on Pecunia’s allegorical function, as embodied wealth, hardly at all. Perhaps this outpouring suggests the complete loss of the capacity for analysis that is the frequent sign of Jonson’s obsessives, but the peculiar innocence of Pennyboy’s enthusiasm somewhat insulates him from satiric inspection. The effect is momentary, beginning to dissipate at 54 and arrested at 57, when Pennyboy asks for help.
50 he i.e. the sun.
52 wrists] F3 (Wrists); wrests F2
54 strawberries] F3 (Strawberries); Stawberries F2
58 SD] placement, F3, following ‘nurse.’; as marginal note F2
59 Graces See above, 3.3.7–8n. We may suppose that the Graces are invoked here because they are the chief attendants of Venus. Fitton’s praise is especially attuned to his own ‘professional’ concerns, not only because of the courtier’s special interest in the graceful art of pleasing, but because the Graces often serve, particularly, as emblems of gratuity, of the sort of non-compulsory reciprocal obligations that bind a court society together. For the iconography of the Graces and their association with social mutalities, see Seneca, De Beneficiis, 1.3–4.
59 Hours In the Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite, the Hours, or Horai (Gk.), are said to have been the first to receive Aphrodite (Venus) as she rose new-born from the sea-foam. Daughters of Zeus and Themis, they preside over the seasons and their procession.
62 as if . . . spake Pythagoras describes the astronomical harmony or music of the spheres as inaudible on earth; later, Christian interpreters explain the inaudibility as a product of the Fall.
62 if that if.
64 Hebe’s The daughter of Zeus and Hera, Hebe was charged with pouring out immortalizing nectar for the gods. She is especially associated with youth and its beauties.
64 Juno’s arms The whiteness of Juno’s arms was proverbial as early as Homer. Parr (ed. Staple) notes the special association of Juno with money, deriving from the fact that during the Roman empire, the mint was housed in the temple of Juno Moneta.
64–5 A hair . . . Morning’s Almanac’s first words are often emended to ‘An air’, though the emendation seems unwarranted. While the use of ‘hair’ to mean coiffure may be unusual, this use of ‘large’ is not: in Jonson’s King’s Ent., the goddess of Peace, Irene, appears ‘placed aloft . . ., her attire white, semined with stars, her hair loose and large’ (362–3), while in the description of Plenty in his Magnificent Entertainment for the same occasion (the pageants for the coronation of James I), Thomas Dekker describes her hair as ‘large and loosely spreading over her shoulders’ (ed. Bowers, 1075–6). Ancient poets often describe the rays of the sun as Apollo’s hair, and the streaming of morning light is also occasionally rendered thus: Homer twice evokes Eos, the goddess of the morning (Aurora in Latin), by referring to her shining ringlets; Ovid, for his part, frequently refers to Aurora’s hair, dewy (Met., 5.440), unbound (Met., 13.584), and saffron-coloured (Amores, 2.4.43).
67 Leda Impregnated by Zeus while he was in the guise of a swan, Leda became the mother of Helen of Troy.
68 Hermione Daughter of Helen of Troy and Menelaus, but despite the beauty that she may be supposed to have inherited from her mother, Hermione is an odd choice here, since in both Euripides and Ovid she is mentioned primarily as a figure of immature beauty.
68 Flora Roman goddess of fertility and of flowers.
70 SD] in right margin in F2
72 resolves dissolves.
73 A front too slippery A brow (or face) too shiny (or smooth). Jonson here adapts Horace, Odes, 1.19.8; ‘slippery’ renders Horace’s lubricus, which (like ‘slippery’) carries connotations of danger and even deceitfulness. For Jonson’s other adaptations of Horace’s line cf. Gypsies (Burley), 366 and Sad Shep., 2.1.26.
75 SD] placement, F3, following ‘o’War?; as marginal note F2
75 SD again] F3 subst.; Agaiue F2
77 The idea is that the actuality of Pecunia is too much for mere verbal rendering. Winter makes the nice suggestion that ‘theme’ – from Greek thema, the topic of a declamation; the folio reading is ‘Theame’ – is here personified and described as speaker tongue-tied by the immensity of the rhetorical task before her.
81 slug sluggard. H&S suggest that Pennyboy is adverting to the cowardice implied by Shunfield’s name, though surely the primary sense here is simply a reflection on Shunfield’s belated – although, finally, ‘well pumped’, impressive – participation in the work of praising Pecunia.
81 SD] placement, F3, following 80 too,; as marginal note F2
81 poet-sucker novice poet (and see below, 4.4.54). The word is formed on the analogy with ‘rabbit-sucker’, meaning an unweaned rabbit.
88 affect (1) like; (2) practice.
90 his rose Jonson was fond of the story of the painter who could paint nothing but a rose; he told Drummond the story (Informations, 386–8) and alludes to it in the prologue to Sad Shep. (62).
93 sun . . . metals An alchemical truism; see Volp., 1.1.10–11. Winter cites Edward Kelly, an alchemist, visionary, and associate of John Dee, who writes that gold is begotten of the sun (Kelly, 1970, 77), and that all inferior metals are potentially gold, but subsist in varying degrees of ‘immaturity’ (13–14).
96 mother Cf. 2 Int.23 above.
99 ] F2, set off with curly brackets against 98 and 100
101 lines dynasties and, referring to the image of rulers on coins, lineaments. The quiet ambiguity of the line implies that coinage both sustains and is sustained by the ruler.
104 ] F2, set off with curly brackets against 102–3
104 Fitton’s interjection is placed marginally in F2 opposite 102 and 103. Its placement is ambiguous: it could equally well be inserted between 102 and 103 as an interruption to the second stanza of Madrigal’s song, or, as here, between the second and third stanzas.
105–10 The difficulty of these lines resolves itself only with the final line, when we recognize the idiom ‘X takes place of [i.e. surpasses, takes precedence over] Y’; thus Pecunia takes precedence over all others, as a torch surpasses a taper, a beacon surpasses a torch, and moonlight surpasses a beacon. If Pennyboy Jr is not artist enough to sustain the metrical regularity of Madrigal’s lines, he is shrewd enough to discern their syntax.
107 F2, set off with curly brackets against 106
111 F2, set off with curly brackets against 110
112 I have] H&S (I haue); I ‘haue F2
112 saraband A slow Moorish dance form in triple time, thought to be somewhat lascivious (see Canter’s censure at 137 below). But Jonson contrives that Madrigal’s saraband is less bawdy than bathetic, its praises of Pecunia’s generosity gaping to betray the venal culture of which she is the proper patron, a culture in which titles are for sale, and in which wealth secures reputations for beauty or virtue.
113 boards dining tables furnished with food.
121 SH pennyboy jr] 1716, subst.; Pic F2
121–6 pennyboy jr . . . canter The folio speech headings for 121 and 127 – to Picklock and Pennyboy Jr respectively – are plainly incorrect. I have followed the edition of 1716, where these assignments are corrected by a simple swap. Gifford supposes a more complicated error: he feels that the assignment of 126 to Canter is also incorrect. He surmises that the headings for 121, 126, and 127 have been scrambled and so assigns 121 to Pennyboy Jr, 126 to Picklock, and 127 to Canter.
121 SD] placement, F3, following 123, ‘Cousins.’; as marginal note F2
126 SH] F2; Pick. G
126 Al-manach Canter seems to be calling for an etymologizing pronunciation that highlights the Moorish lineage of early modern astronomy, but the dramatic force of this pedantry is slightly obscure. (That almanac derives from an Arabic word turns out to be uncertain, however, and Jonson himself may have thought that the word derived from the Latin manacus, meaning ‘dial’.) The uncertainty is compounded by textual difficulties in adjacent lines, for which see the previous note. Many editors follow Gifford in reassigning the line to Picklock (and line 127 to Pennyboy Canter) and so, implicitly, accepting this as an exercise in pedantic, lawyerly etymologizing, though there is very little to motivate this dramatically: Picklock has not spoken for 170 lines and it makes little sense for him to break silence thus. Winter, on the other hand, assigns the speech to Pennyboy Jr, a far more plausible reassignment.
127 SH picklock] 1716, subst.; P.Iv. F2; P. Can. G
127 prostitutes his mistress See Lucian, Timon, 16.
129 win acquire.
130 Nothing As printed in F2, this seems to be ironic self-deprecation, but ‘Nothing’ may also be an aside at the end of 129, interjected as the true conclusion to Pennyboy’s first clause – ‘teach us how to win nothing’. (Such casual typographic handling of speech sequence is observable at 4.4.88.)
132 want lack.
133 by my consent as far as I’m concerned.
134 SD] placement, F3; as marginal note F2
135 scattered dissipated.
137 saraband See above, 112n. In Devil (4.4.164), dancing the saraband is included in a list of fashionable improprieties.
138–41 dancing . . . monsters Canter’s disapproval is complex, for he sees the dancers as both mechanical (‘engines’) and bestial (‘monsters’), as hyper-flexible of gesture and feeling and blockish of mind. If we invert the censured qualities, we may infer a human ideal that is characteristically Jonsonian: intellectually agile, physically and emotionally poised, and, unlike the machine or the monster, deeply intentional in all gestures and behaviour. Yet Canter is not simply the author’s mouthpiece here. His vehemence may be characteristically Jonsonian, yet it is also characteristic of the obsessive moralists whom Jonson’s plays often mock. And Canter’s ironic scorn for the dancer’s ‘subtle feet’ may be contrasted with the unstinted praise of court dancing in Pleasure Rec., where the audience is encouraged to ‘admire the wisdom of’ the dancer’s ‘feet’ (225).
140 without them] F3; withou them F2; without ’hem H&S
143 make their legs bow or, more generally, present themselves.
143 passing as they pass through.
145–6 cry . . . down promote and denigrate.
148 solicitously attentively, painstakingly.
149 mystery secret doctrine or ritual.
149 SD] placement, F3, following 151, ‘Scholar!’; as marginal note F2
150 dainty fine, delicate.
152 writes like a gentleman Almanac implies both that Madrigal writes without pedantry and that his amatory verse has the special force – the authenticity or the polish, or perhaps both – one would expect of a gentleman’s discourse. According to Canter (155), the Jeerers’ belief that gentlemanly discourse is superior to scholarly entails a veneration of gallant ignorance. For a similar satire on ‘gentlemanly’ versifying, see Fort. Is., 179–83.
157 gentlemen] F3 (Gentlemen); Centlemen F2
162 brave splendid.
162 gentleman] F3 (Gentleman); Centleman F2
164 take up i.e. take up residence.
169 dose] F3; doze F2
169 sack See above, Ind., 58n.
170 distance of hum ‘Hum’ is a cant term – it is introduced as such in the great beggars’ meeting in Beaumont and Fletcher’s Beggar’s Bush (gen. ed. Bowers, 2.1.18) – referring to strong ale or some other alcoholic drink, often used as a medicinal cordial. That sack and hum were used as medicines, and were carefully meted out, apparently provoked some mirth, as is suggested in Shirley’s The Wedding: ‘They say that Canary sack must dance / Again to the Apothecaries, and be sold for / Physick, in hum-glasses, and thimbles’ (1629, D4v). This use of ‘distance’ to mean ‘measure’ is unusual.
170 SD] placement, F3, following 173, ‘it.’; as marginal note F2
174 close-stool A chamberpot built into a stool or enclosed in a box.
174 garlic Often distributed through the various rooms of a lodging to ward off plague.
179 Scatter yourself The phrase, meaning ‘circulate socially’, reminds us that Pecunia represents, among other things, distributable material wealth. The verb resonates with its earlier use by Canter at 135.
179 Parnassus Mountain near Delphi especially associated with the worship of Apollo and of the Muses. Because of those associations, ‘Parnassus’ is sometimes used metonymically to mean ‘literary culture’ or ‘the community of writers’.
180 ivy . . . bays The bay laurel is sacred to Apollo; it was therefore customary to crown poets with laurel wreaths. The ivy is sacred to Dionysus; Thalia, the muse of comedy, is usually crowned with an ivy wreath, and Melpomene, muse of tragedy, is often similarly crowned. Because both ivy and laurel are evergreen, they were strongly linked, and ivy wreaths eventually came to be thought of, like those of laurel, as the proper reward of poetic excellence.
182 all December The Christmas season is the customary occasion for the most lavish shows of generosity to clients.
183 vein (1) style, artistic manner. The use of ‘rich’ here also recalls another meaning of vein, namely, (2) lode or a seam of ore in a mine, a meaning suggestive of how Pecunia and her train esteem artistic activity.
189 The poet must have wine Cf. Und. 57.24–5 and 68.12.
4.3 ] F2 (Act. IIII. Scene.IIJ.)
0 SD] Kifer; Peni-boy. Se. Peny-boy. Iv. / Lickfinger. &c. F2
4.3 5 almost this hour almost this entire hour.
8 cogging jack cheating rascal (as at 2.4.41).
9 SD] placement, F3; as marginal note F2
14, 16, 19 SD] placement, F3 (He would have Pecunia home, but she/ refuseth, and her Train.) as single SD following 17, you.; as marginal note F2
16 lewd ill-mannered.
17 I . . . well Parr (ed. Staple) compares this with the moment in The Contention between Liberality and Prodigality (2.4) at which Money, having been entrusted to Prodigality by Fortune, announces, ‘I am, where I like.’
20 SH statute] F3 (Stat.); Sta. F2
23 money Though not capitalized in the folio, ‘money’ is here plainly poised between personification, as another of Pecunia’s names, and mere impersonal noun. This is the boldest allusion in the play to the so-called ‘inflation of honours’ under James I, the unprecedented proliferation of titles as the king rewarded those who had served or paid him well.
26–7 Echoed in ‘Expostulation’ (6.375–80), lines 103–4.
30–46 Never . . . six-months Gifford alleges a borrowing from lines 234–5 of Aristophanes’s last play, the Plutus, though Winter’s suggestion (ed. Staple) of a deeper debt to Zeus’s piteous address to Plutus in Lucian’s Timon (13, and see also 15) is persuasive.
39 not . . . power Pecunia here claims for herself the inviolable chastity of the romance heroine.
40 your] H&S (conj. Coleridge); our F2
49 form Cf. MND, 1.1.49–50, where Theseus describes the daughter’s proper subservience to her father by a similar metaphor – ‘you are but as a form in wax / By him imprinted’: in both cases, form suggests an authenticating image, that which alone gives the wax (and that which it might seal) its true value.
53 disguised intoxicated (slang).
55–6 our legs . . . about Although Band’s name primarily refers to a legal bond or security, it also refers to the sort of woven band or strip by means of which (along with cords or parchment tags) seals might be affixed to legal documents. Documents with pendant seals were usually stored with their seals and bands or tags folded inside the packet – and when such were eventually unfolded and displayed the bands or tags often retained their awkward creases.
62 Apollo . . . room This reference to the Apollo Room at The Devil and St Dunstan’s tavern (for which, see Prologue for the stage, 16n, Dunston) carries other meanings. Besides the insinuation that scholarship, poetry, and the other arts – all of which are under the patronage of Apollo, the sun-god – are each somehow subservient to the power of Money, the line reminds us of the close alchemical connection between gold and the sun.
65 lares The lares familiares were divine patrons of a given household or family, but Jonson may be inviting us to recall the canine association of a different set of deities, the lares praestites or guardians of the state. In the Roman temple to these lares, the figure of a dog stood between the images of these guardians (because dogs are loyal guardians), and the images themselves were sometimes dressed in the skins of dogs.
67 SD] placement, F3, following 70, Pump; as marginal note F2
70 sink cesspool.
71 jordan chamber-pot.
73 SD] placement, F3 (and spurn him.), following ‘kick’d’; marginal note F2
74 kindly i.e. as is appropriate to your kind.
75 SD] placement, F3 (Kicks him out.); Kicke him,/ out. / as marginal note F2
77 SD] placement, F3, following ‘remember,; as marginal note F2
78 cozened . . . cousin The play on words is proverbial; see Dent, C739∗ and C739.11.
80 SD] in left margin in F2
80 SD One . . . dogs Throughout the text of this play, marginal notes include both what we would recognize as stage directions and what seem to be summaries of the topics under discussion, but this marginal note fits into neither category. The note could be a residue of an early stage of composition, Jonson’s note to himself concerning what to call one of the dogs when he gets around to drafting 5.4; it could, on the other hand, be a note by the bookholder or some other playhouse functionary, explaining the selection, otherwise obscure, of this particular name; or it could be offered as an aid to the reader. The latter is perhaps the most likely, given the many other instances in the text of notes designed to orient a reader.
82 Pecunia . . . whore! Cf. Devil, 2.1.1–3, where money is described as ‘a whore, a bawd, a drudge, / Fit to run out on errands’ and where the flight of money is described as ‘Via pecunia’.
4.4 ] F2 (Act.IIIJ. Scene.IV.)
0 SD.2] F3; as marginal note F2
4.4 2 heraldet See Persons of the Play, 10n.
3 prove] F3; sproue F2
7 Can (Who) knows.
8–9 blood . . . veins Metaphorical, but not utterly so: it was both a scientific and popular belief that the earth was a living organism, and that the resemblance of veins of metal in the earth to those in human and animal bodies was more than a mere matter of appearance.
9 limb Referring both to her own body and to the branches, or limbs, of her family tree.
11 Sol See 4.2.93n.
12 Or The heraldic term for the colour gold, derived from the French, like most heraldic terms for colours. (In French, or is the word for both the colour and the mineral.) But the choice here also takes in ‘ore’, a Germanic derivation: Jonson’s ‘Duke of Or’ thus descends from both French and German families, both rich.
13 royal Lightly punning, since a royal was a gold coin worth about 12s in Jonson’s day. When it was first minted, in the reign of Edward IV, its value was set at 10s, an equation preserved in Falstaff’s challenge to Prince Hal, relevant here: ‘thou camest not of the blood royal, if thou darest not stand for ten shillings’ (IH4, 1.2.114–15).
13 Ophir See 1.6.43.
14 blazon The formalized description of a coat of arms; not surprisingly, many aspects of the blazon that Piedmantle offers are unconventional.
15–16 field . . . second The blue background surface, or field, of the coat of arms is blue; figured against the field is a sun in its proper colour, gold, presumably with twelve alternating wavy and straight rays (though beamy is an idiosyncratic term) in the second colour designated (which, in this case, is gold, indicated second, after azure). Avoiding repetition – hence the use of second in lieu of naming Or – is one of the conventions (which Canter calls the ‘cant’) of the heraldic blazon.
17 it] F3; ti F2
18 Besants These gold circles represent the ancient coinage of Byzantium: they were usually included in coats of arms to indicate that the bearer had participated in a crusade; in the case of Pecunia they merely indicate her association with coins.
20–1 Potosi . . . Indies The silver mines of Potosi in Bolivia (not the West Indies) were the most productive in the world at this time.
22 Hungary . . . Barbary Though the silver mines of Hungary were the most important in Europe, the Barbary Coast of North Africa was not known for silver production, though it was one of the chief conduits of sub-Saharan gold to European markets.
23 Welsh mine The mines of Wales mainly produced copper, lead, and zinc. Small amounts of silver were sometimes found along with lead deposits, but the old Roman gold mine at Dolaucothi had been abandoned. Although James had supported a venture to mine precious metals in Wales in 1624, nothing came of the undertaking.
23 SH] 1716 (PYE.); PEC. F2
25–6 argent . . . first That is, the arms of the Welsh mine is silver (argent), and bears three green (vert) leeks – as leeks are the Welsh national emblem – in a small gold (or) square, or canton, itself adorned with silver tassels, silver being the first colour named. It is a rather fussy satiric touch to raise the question of how silver tassels are to stand out against a silver field: the image thus evoked – however ‘rarely painted’ (29) – is proscribed in the rules of heraldry, though it imputes to Pecunia a tasteless and irregular fondness for heaps of precious metals.
33 SD] placement, F3, following 32,Cousin.; as marginal note F2
38–9 dissection . . . anatomy Dissections were still relatively rare in England, so instruction in human anatomy was still largely a verbal activity, though sometimes supplemented with pictorial information.
40 vena . . . porta The vena porta is the vein that delivers blood from the stomach, spleen, and intestine to the liver. In Galenic medicine, however, the vena porta was understood to supply not blood but chyle, a milky fluid, from the stomach and intestines to the liver, where it was converted to blood and then diffused to the rest of the body via the vena cava, which divided into two branches. The superior vena cava supplies the right auricle of the heart.
41 meseraics . . . mesenterium Two names for the peritoneal membrane that supports the small intestine.
43 judicial astrology Distinguished from natural astrology, the calculation of times, tides, eclipses, seasons, and so forth, judicial astrology is concerned with the influence of stars on individual and collective human affairs.
44 troll speak nimbly of.
44 trine . . . sextile These are measures of apparent planetary distance or aspect: planets in trine aspect are separated by an angular distance of 120 degrees; those in quartile are separated by 90 degrees; sextile, by 60.
45 Platic . . . partile Judicial astrology allows for what might be called approximate influence of celestial bodies on terrestrial creatures, but astrologers were careful to mete out the range of influences. Thus a heavenly body that was thought to have a particular influence if it were in a particular position might exert a milder version of the same influence when it was slightly out of that position. Celestial bodies within a degree of a given position were said to have partile aspect; those much farther out of a given position, but still exerting the influence associated with that position, were said to be in orb, and to exhibit platic aspect.
45 hyleg The ruling planet at the moment of a person’s nativity.
46 alchochoden The planet in a natal chart that determines life expectancy.
46 cusps The cusp is the strongest point in any astrological house, usually located at the entrance to that house.
48 muster-master See 2.3.82n.
50 bringers-up i.e. those who bring up the rear.
51 Faces . . . hand To turn clockwise until facing the opposite direction.
52 as you were A military order instructing troops to stand easy.
52 redoubts Small fortifications, sometimes isolated and sometimes added on to larger, more permanent ones.
53 cats Elevated fortifications. Sometimes the term designates fortifications erected above larger fortresses; sometimes it denotes a moveable elevated penthouse used to enable a safe approach to a fortress under siege.
53 cortines Flat walls connecting the towers or bastions of a fortress.
54 egg-chinned beardless; i.e. with skin as smooth as the shell of an egg.
56–7 catalectics . . . brachy-catalectics Technical terms for metrical variations at the ends of a line of verse: in catalectics the final foot of the line is missing a syllable; in hypercatalectics, the final foot is missing two syllables; in brachycatalectics, the line has one or two extra syllables following the final foot.
58 Pyrrhics . . . choriambics The pyrrhic foot, comprising two short syllables, is relatively familiar, whereas the epitrite, a four-syllable foot consisting of three long and one short syllable, variously disposed, and the choriambic, also a four-syllable foot, in which two long syllables always frame two short syllables, are fairly recondite.
60 scholar Shunfield finds Canter scholarlike, not only for his learned familiarity with erudite jargon but also for his lack of gainful employment.
63 fly-blown tainted. (Meat in which flies have deposited their eggs is ‘fly-blown’.)
63 projects Courtiers were especially associated with the promotion of a variety of new economic schemes, sometimes involving implementation of improbable new technologies.
64 looks . . . Politics The folio reading, ‘lookes-out of the politicks’, may be correct, though the term, ‘look-out’ or emissary, is not to be found elsewhere before the end of the century, and its plural is usually ‘look-outs’. Dropping the hyphen and understanding ‘politicks’ as a title – probably a reference to Aristotle’s treatise or, possibly, to Guicciardini’s Discorsi Politici – resolves the difficulty of the line.
65 ff. Strongly reminiscent of Epigr. 92, ‘The New Cry’.
65 Although the ‘questions’ that Pennyboy Canter offers by way of example in line 66 are ones that Fitton and his ilk would take seriously, he here satirically casts these questions as instances of the courtly pastime of refined and playful debate, often on conventional topics.
67 dash fail. The word was commonly use to describe the rejection of bills in Parliament (OED 6).
68 give off leave off, let it alone.
72 tide float, carry (OED, v.2 1b).
73 freight . . . passage Both words can mean ‘payment for transport’; passage can also mean ‘the property of currency, acceptability’.
74 mint-phrase freshly coined formulations.
74–5 worst . . . not Alleging that Fitton’s is the worst of all canting, Canter here offers a formula for determining how much worse it is than others’: it is to be measured as the amount by which its pretension to meaning exceeds its emptiness thereof.
80 SD] placement, F3, following 82, well? F3; as marginal note F2
82 Canters’ College D. F. McKenzie (1973), 120–1 suggests that this ‘whimsy’ satirizes the reckless innovations of such new educational institutions as Gresham College, with its practico-scientific orientation, but the suggestion is not entirely persuasive. Although Jonson was usually highly sceptical of such modern institutions – hence the relentless brilliance of the satire of the Staple of News and of the Ladies’ Collegiate in Epicene – he had been a resident at Gresham College and was an admirer of Francis Bacon, whose principles had powerfully shaped the new college. Very little beyond novelty and some version of practicality links Gresham’s to the Canters’ College.
88 CANTER Canter is responding to Pennyboy Jr’s proposal in 87 concerning Lickfinger’s responsibility by extending it. The layout in F2 suggests that Canter speaks at the same time as Pennyboy Jr registers Lickfinger’s departure.
89 read lecture on.
89 Apicius’ . . . culinaria This third- or fourth-century collection of recipes was attributed to an otherwise unidentified ‘Caelius Apicius’, perhaps to associate it with Marcus (or Quintus) Gavius Apicius, the celebrated gourmand of the age of Tiberius. See Alch., 2.2.77 and n.
90 doxy Beggars’ slang for slut.
91 Politics Probably Aristotle’s treatise in this case (cf. 64 above).
94 As Such as.
95 SD] in left margin in F2
98 against in anticipation of.
98 soused] F3 (sous’d); sowc’t F2
103 Westminster Hall The great hall of Westminster Palace, housing the Courts of Common Law and Chancery.
104 Pleas, Bench The two common law courts housed at Westminster: the Court of Common Pleas handled all cases in which the crown had no interest; the Court of King’s Bench was originally a criminal court, but by Jonson’s day was also handling civil actions.
104 Chancery The Court of Chancery grew out of the administrative work associated with the royal office of the Chancellor and was originally distinguished by vernacular pleading and procedure by bill (a procedure taken up in King’s Bench during the sixteenth century); it was, above all, a court of equity, as opposed to a court of common law.
104 Fee-farm Land held in perpetuity and subject only to a fixed rent.
104 fee-tail Land granted to a particular person and entailed to (i.e. heritable by) a specified class of his or her heirs.
105 Tenant in dower A widow with a life interest in some portion of her dead husband’s estate.
105 at will A holding terminable at the owner’s pleasure.
106 court roll The official manorial record of tenants and the details of their tenure.
106 knight’s service Land tenure conditional on military service.
106–7 homage, Fealty ‘Homage’ is the formal acknowledgement of feudal ‘fealty’, the obligation of tenant or vassal to his lord.
107 escuage A common form of knight’s service, forty days of military service – or a payment specifically in lieu of such service – as a condition of land tenure.
107 soccage Specifically differentiated from knight’s service, soccage is a feudal tenure conditional upon agricultural service.
107 frank almoin (Fr. ‘free alms’.) Technically, a tenure bestowed on God; effectively, land tenure conferred as alms.
108 Grand sergeanty Tenure conditional upon personal service to the crown.
108 burgage A specifically urban tenure conditional on payment of an annual rent.
109 Κατ᾽ έξοχὴν (kat exochēn) par excellence, above all else.
110 Littleton’s Tenures The authoritative work on English property law.
110–11 indeed . . . conveyances Since ‘conveyances’ are formal transfers of property, usually by deed, it may be that ‘indeed’ is not used here in its common adverbial sense, but rather as a verb, a bit of cant newly minted by Pennyboy to mean ‘prepare the deeds for’.
111 make strike the bargains for.
112 Keep . . . courts Preside over all your (manorial) courts.
114–15 procure . . . licence Property held in mortmain was in the control of a corporation and could only be conveyed with royal permission or licence: Picklock insists that he must help Pennyboy get more control over his affairs (with the ominous insinuation that this will work to Picklock’s own advantage).
116 SD] in left margin in F2
118 painful painstaking.
118 officer servant (cf. 1.6.20).
123 To . . . Bush Though the phrase functions figuratively to evoke all imprudent courses of action (‘going to the dogs’), there was indeed a particular tree called ‘Beggar’s Bush’, a rendezvous for vagrants on the east side of the old London Road between Caxton and Huntingdon.
136 I’d] F2 (I’had); I had F3
138 colour of advantage grounds for the allegation. (This usage of ‘colour’ strongly implies that the grounds would be specious.)
139 but rather I hate.
142 court-rat Jonson regarded this as an English rendering of a Roman idiom; see his note on ‘palace-rats’ in the marginalia to Sejanus (1.427).
143 broking base-dealing, grasping. The adjective is often applied to usurers or pimps.
145 country’s strength Compare the opening of Epigr. 108, ‘To True Soldiers’.
146 his i.e. his sovereign’s.
147 subject The word has many relevant meanings here: one under the dominion of a monarch; that upon which some other agent acts (and, in such phrases as ‘subject to the whip’, that upon which some injury or punishment is inflicted); a topic or theme.
148 runs . . . hazards runs those heroic risks.
149 You are pleasant The idiom expresses mild indignation; here it means, in effect, ‘You mock me’.
155 learnèd herald Satire here seems braced by a tender reflection on Jonson’s old schoolmaster, William Camden, Clarenceux King of Arms in the College of Heralds for twenty years. Camden had died in 1623.
156 arms and marks coats of arms and tokens of distinction.
157–8 Jonson again casts aspersions on the sale of honours under James. See above, 4.3.25.
161 a scheme a natal horoscope.
163 glister enema.
163 berayed fouled.
163 ephemerides See 2.4.74 and note above. Tables indicating the positions of celestial bodies during a specified period; this may also refer to a book in which such tables are compiled. Canter describes the monkey as having sprayed excrement across the heavens.
165 quack-salver The modern ‘quack’ is an abbreviation of this term; their meanings are identical.
165 blast wither.
166 ever-living garland See 4.2.180.
168 Like most of his contemporary poets, Jonson was deeply committed to imitative writing, to a poetry infused with the concerns of earlier poets, with their idioms and their rhythms. At the same time Jonson could be more than usually dismissive of the sort of tasteless or insufficiently responsive imitations and borrowings of which Madrigal is accused.
170 (That . . . worse) i.e. I use the term ‘ulcers’ to keep myself from calling you by a worse name.
170–1 There . . . times The allegation is given special force by the fact of a particularly virulent outbreak of plague in 1625.
173 to your according to your.
176 SD] placement, F3, following 177,Robe,’; as marginal note F2
179 SD] G; not in F2
Fourth Intermean 4 akin . . . poet Winter (ed. Staple) comments that ‘Mirth is right’, though it might be more judicious to observe that, having staged the scourging of cant and prodigality, Jonson here invites us to consider, by means of the promptings of Mirth, that the satirist always runs the risk of being a killjoy. Referring to this moment as a catastrophe or conclusion, Tattle has already cued our reflection on the difference between this Fourth Act unmasking and the proper, but still unknown conclusion to come. (In his note to ‘catastrophe’ (1), Parr (ed. Staple) points out that this is the catastasis and not the catastrophe, as Tattle claims.) Jonson has thus taken pains to solicit our resistance to the idea that satiric unmasking is conclusion enough: satire must make its peace with forces affiliated with Mirth.
7 him . . . him i.e. Pennyboy Jr’s father, who has been disguised heretofore as the ‘beggarly’ Canter.
9 lin leave off. The line is proverbial (see Dent, B238∗).
14 communicative generous, sociable.
16 chuff churl; also, miser. In EMO, the killjoy, Sordido, is described as a ‘chuff’ (Characters, 52).
16 take him off undercut Pennyboy Jr (though the usage is uncommon).
20 Plant . . . water Parr (ed. Staple) adduces almost the same phrasing in Bacon’s The Advancement of Learning: ‘founders of colleges do plant and founders of lectures do water’ (ed. M. Kiernan, 58). Jonson admired Bacon; whether his satire on Pennyboy Jr’s scheme redounds to the discredit of Bacon’s many educational projects is a complicated problem.
22 towardly promising.
24–6 I protest . . . leer That the sceptical Censure is so taken with Fitton, so susceptible to the superficial charms of such courtiership, is Jonson’s pointed reflection on the shallowness of contemporary censoriousness.
25 politically The word can mean ‘artfully’, though its connotations in this sense lean towards social and political craftiness and not stylistic elegance.
26 leer gaze ingratiatingly.
29 mere glister sheer glitter; but ‘glister’ can mean either ‘glitter’ or ‘enema’, and the latter meaning hilariously undercuts the rest of the line, suggesting that his manner can not only secure the efficacy (‘make . . . work’) of a medicine (‘physic’), but would make any medicine churn (another meaning of ‘work’).
34 flyen flown. ‘To fly in the face of someone’ is to oppose that person.
34 gypsy’s rogue’s.
35 political incest A complicated formulation, built on a distant analogy to the crime, in canon law, of ‘spiritual incest’ (OED, Incest, 1b). Spiritual incest may denote marriage or sexual relations between those connected by a spiritual association or with someone under a vow of chastity; the substitution of ‘political’ for ‘spiritual’ seems mainly to insist on the secular character of Canter’s offence. Of course, there is no sexual impropriety in his seizure of Pecunia and her train, although ‘incest’ casts a darker shadow on the father’s intrusion on the son’s attachment. But another sense of ‘spiritual incest’ is relevant here, the simultaneous holding of two benefices, the authority to confer one of which is a right proper to the other benefice. This sort of (usually economically) self-serving behaviour was one of the most offensive of spiritual crimes, and Mirth suggests that there is some such unsettlingly improper greed in the way the father asserts control of Pecunia, even as the son is about to possess her.
36 high . . . wit Like the ecclesiastical Court of High Commission, which would naturally have jurisdiction in matters of spiritual incest (see preceding note) and which encroached on the jurisdiction of the secular courts, the Gossips may be thought of as arrogating to themselves a moral and aesthetic authority to which they perhaps have no claim. (They have already asserted a similar claim at Induction, 21–2.) Jonson speaks of the audience elsewhere as a court of High Commission (Bart. Fair, Ind. 75); in the Ode (‘Come, leave’), 6.310, lines 1–8, he speaks of the audience as a usurpatious court.
38 cony-catcher con-artist. (A ‘cony’ is a rabbit.) Tattle wants to see the trickster tricked.
40 The precise sense of the line has been disputed. Winter supposes the line to refer to the practice of courtiers begging the crown for properties that should have become its property after the dissolution of the monasteries, but were being variously retained and concealed by private persons or churches. Parr (ed. Staple) supposes the phrase to refer more generally to courtiers’ begging a reward for informing on others. Just as likely, Censure may be invoking the legal idiom, to beg a person, meaning to petition the Court of Wards for custody of a minor, an heiress, or an idiot – this last most pertinent here as a hilarious disparagement of Pennyboy Jr; such petitions were often unscrupulously undertaken as a way of expropriating an estate (and cf. 50–1 below).
43–4 rhyme . . . rat It was commonly believed that the Irish exterminated rats by means of rhymed incantations; see Poet., Apol. Dial., 150–1. Jonson may have learned the northern slang term for doggerel, ‘rat-rime’, during his journey to Scotland in 1618.
46 hatchments escutcheons, shields bearing a coat of arms.
46 reverse invert. Inverting a coat of arms was a formal sign of disgrace.
46 no gentleman In Jonson’s day, the possession of a coat of arms was one of the perquisites and distinguishing marks of gentility; the inversion of arms thus functions as a formal nullification of gentility.
48 probation dish A ‘masterpiece’, designed to prove full competence in a craft – in this case, in cookery.
50 flat disinherited utterly deprived of his estate.
56 stand i.e. in a pillory.
63 In the three-handed game of gleek, a mournival is a hand containing four jacks, queens, kings, or aces; a gleek is a hand containing three of these cards. A gleek is also a taunt, a harsh jest.
65 For As.
0 SD.2] in right margin in F2
5.1 The first three scenes of Act 5 take place in an unspecified location.
5.1 ] F2 (Act. V. Scene. I. )
0 SD.1] Kifer, subst.; Peny-boy.Iv. {to him Tho. Barber. / {after, Picklocke. F2
1, 20 as as if.
2 a thing . . . at Said with sad irony. The play here makes its closest approach to the traditional methods of the Prodigal Son plays, popular in England and on the continent for nearly a century. These moral dramas on the theme of the parable in the gospel of Luke (15.11–32) frequently stage the repentant self-assessment of the prodigal at the nadir of his humiliation.
4 comitia The term for the assembly in Rome charged with the election of magistrates. The idea of such an assembly of the beggars sustains the motif of institutionalization broached with the Staple of News and continued with the College of Canters. That such institutions existed among the underclass was not regarded entirely as a fantasy, and when Pennyboy refers at line 7 to ‘those societies’ he participates in a diffuse popular discourse concerning informal guilds of beggars, highwaymen, cony-catchers, and cutpurses.
8 gratulate welcome.
10 Dauphin Prince.
12 the fable . . . time the leading cautionary tale of the moment.
13 Matter Subject matter.
13 mark object.
15 foil thin, shiny metal backing that provides the reflective surface of a glass mirror. Pennyboy Jr may be referring to the metaphorical looking-glass of his situation or to an actual mirror that he holds in his hand, which he might have consulted as he uttered the first lines of the scene, in which he reflects on the fit of his clothes. The passage also alludes to the definition of comedy itself (which Donatus attributes to Cicero and which Cordatus quotes in EMO, 3.1.414–17) as a speculum consuetudinis, imago veritatis: the idea of comedy as a mirror.
21 epidemical disease plague. See note to 4.4.170–1.
22 SD] not in F2, but see massed entry at collation 5.1.0 above
25 still always.
26 The . . . one-and-twenty the next twenty-one years.
27 razed scraped.
27 razed] F3 (raz’d); rac’d F2
28 In From.
28 ephemerides See notes to 2.4.74 and 4.4.163.
29–30 Or . . . decreed Or if, because of the decrees of Time and Nature, the day may not be expunged from the calendar.
31 i.e. of tricking prodigal young men out of their money, as if catching a fish by tickling its gills.
32 loosing setting loose, and with a play on ‘losing’.
40–52 Cf. Face’s description of the catastrophic explosion of the alchemical laboratory at the denouement of Alch., 4.5.57–62.
47 is returned has reverted to being.
51 hum (of rumour).
53 SD] in right margin in F2
53 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Lethargy.’; as marginal note F2
54 like likely.
55–8 The legal plot here can be difficult to construe. With Picklock’s assistance, Pennyboy Canter has signed a document conferring his assets on Picklock: he regards the document as a trust, with his riotous son as its intended beneficiary. Moreover, he holds this trust to be conditional, the transfer to be contingent on his death, and as revocable, an expedient means of providing for his son should he die during the period of his imposture as Pennyboy Canter. As Tom reports, ‘Picklock denies the feoffment and the trust’ (55); that is, Picklock will argue that the document Pennyboy Canter has signed is ‘an absolute deed’ (109), an unconditional outright grant, and one that encumbers Picklock with no fiduciary responsibilities to Pennyboy Jr whatsoever – though at 110 below he acknowledges his understanding that Pennyboy Canter intended the assets to be used for the benefit of his son.
57 as . . . mortality in the event of his death.
58 device contrivance, trick.
60 SD.2 Pennyboy . . . arras] G, subst.; not in F2
60 SD.3 picklock enters] in right margin in F2
60 velvet i.e. given to sartorial extravagance.
61 case The primary sense of the term is, of course, circumstance, but the word can also denote not only a legal suit (which would hint towards Picklock’s machinations), but also a suit of clothes – in this case, the patched cloak that indicates Pennyboy Jr’s fallen circumstances.
69 fall’n out quarrelled.
69 yours your follower.
70 trait’rous] this edn; Traytors F2; Traytor F3
71 thrown . . . bar disbarred.
72–3 Oh, good . . . of it Picklock here lays claim to a complex and nearly incoherent array of innocences: he insists on how scrupulous he has been (‘heaven knows my conscience’) and how blameless (‘silly’) have been his departures from strict scruple (‘the latitude of it’). He clarifies his position at 76–8, where he claims to be cleaving to the principles that originally motivated Pennyboy Canter’s provisions for his son, principles that Canter has since forsaken.
73 silly innocent, naïve.
74 narrow-minded intellectually narrow, unimaginative; not devious. (OED cites this and Discoveries, 181 as the first instances of ‘narrow-minded’ in its modern sense of ‘illiberal’, but in both cases, that construction seems inappropriate; OED cites no other instances before the second half of the eighteenth century, at which point the modern sense of the compound is plainly primary.)
74–5 dwell . . . lane Cf. Und. 78.12.
76 scarce obliquity unusual (moral) sophistication.
76 still continually.
79–80 somewhat . . . estate The obliquity of the response should be noted: Picklock does not specify on what Pennyboy Jr’s – or his own – standing rests.
85 civil slaughter Winter (ed. Staple) observes that Jonson is drawing on the legal opposition between ‘natural’ and ‘civil,’ used to distinguish, for example, actual death and death ‘before the law’ – as when a person enters a monastery and becomes virtually dead. In effect, Picklock is saying that denying Pennyboy Jr his inheritance is a virtual murder, with the law serving as a kind of weapon.
89 Verlof The Dutch word for ‘furlough’, leave of absence, from which the English term derives. English furlough was not yet common, so the F2 reading, ‘vorloffe’, probably reflects Jonson’s attempt to transliterate a Dutch military term current during his service as a soldier in the Low Countries.
89 Verlof] this edn; vorloffe F2
89 brief A legal writ; the term is derived from Latin breve. Winter surmises that a ‘Welsh brief’ may be a begging petition, but can adduce no other instances of the phrase; H&S suggest that ‘Welsh’ is brought in here because Welshmen had a reputation for litigiousness; cf. the Welsh lawyer in Wales.
92 he brings?] F3; brings? F2
96 austere sour, bitter, grim, harsh.
97 verjuice The juice of unripe grapes.
98 SD] in left margin in F2
98 SD as if As Gifford pointed out, Pennyboy Jr only pretends to fetch the letter; instead he dispatches a porter to get the deed of trust from Lickfinger (5.3.2–4).
98 defiance challenge.
99 commit i.e. to match in a contest, embroil in hostilities.
101 state estate.
103 piece masterpiece.
104 nightcap Jonson uses the colloquial term for the lawyer’s white cap, or coif.
105 A . . . name And worthy of the name of Picklock.
109 absolute deed See 55–8n. above.
112 gratitude gratuity, in this case a euphemism for ‘fee’.
115 our] F2; your Wh
115 our Whalley’s emendation to ‘your’ is plausible, since the substitution of ‘our’ for ‘your’ is a common printer’s error, but the attempted ingratiation of the folio reading is worth preserving.
117 wage law The phrase may take some colour from the technical device of ‘wager of law’, whereby the defendant in an action of debt takes an oath denying the existence of the imputed debt, but its primary force is by means of analogy with the idiom ‘to wage war’.
5.2 ] F2 (Act. V. Scene. II. )
0 SD] G; Peny-boy. Can. Peny-boy. Iv. /Picklock. Tho.Barbar. F2
3 SH] 1716, subst.; P. Se. F2
5.2 6 What trust? See note to 5.1.55–8 above.
8 perfect completed.
10 emergent unspecified. Picklock hereby insists that the transfer was not pegged to some specified occasion – as, for example, the future date of his death. (As Tom had already reported, ‘Picklock denies the feoffment . . . as respecting his [i.e. Pennyboy Canter’s] mortality’ [5.1.55–7].) The phrasing here complements the force of ‘perfect’ (8), consolidating Picklock’s assertion that the transfer of assets must be taken as unconditional.
12–29 As I . . . preferred Aspects of this reminiscence are unusually grim, at least by Jonsonian standards. The insinuation that the harshness of Pennyboy Canter’s financial dealings may have driven his victims to their graves appreciably unsettles the moral simplicity of the plot. But Picklock may not be recalling Pennyboy’s reflections faithfully; certainly Canter responds with astonishment.
14 griping grasping.
15 it i.e. the ‘grown estate’ or wealth.
18 they’d] F2 (they’had); they had F3
23 You’d] F2 (You’old); You’ld F3
26 What Whatever name.
27 with with the eventual return of.
33 not in no way.
34 Forehead of steel Comparable to ‘heart of stone’, the phrase also emphasizes the blatancy of this relentlessness, as if it were ‘written on’ Picklock’s ‘forehead’.
34 mouth of brass Implying a ‘brazen’ or ‘trumpeted’ impudence. The phrase finds its origins in the description of ‘brazen-voiced Stentor’, whom Hera impersonates at 5.786 in Homer’s Iliad.
36 Engine . . . metals! ‘Engine’, which reinflects the imagery of line 34, at once casts Picklock as inhuman, complex, and, like a piece of military hardware, destructive. ‘Mixed’ suggests not only mechanical complication but also impurity.
37 change exchange.
37 syllab’ syllable. ‘Syllabe’ is Jonson’s usual spelling of this word, as in Grammar, and Und. 29.10.
39 SD Parr, subst.; not in F2
39 SD At some point Pennyboy Jr must receive the deed of trust from the Porter, though F2 gives no indication of when. Parr proposes this as the ideal moment for the delivery of the deed: ‘his challenge to Picklock is dramatically stronger if the audience suspects that he has not one but two cards up his sleeve (the hidden Tom and the deed)’. The transfer of the deed at this moment, Parr (ed. Staple) continues, would put ‘the lawyer’s next confident assertion in an ironic light’.
39 Thither i.e. to a law-court.
40 it i.e. Pennyboy Canter’s property.
41 SD] placement, F3, following ‘tho.’; as marginal note F2
41 SD him i.e. Pennyboy Canter.
42 Not that Not simply because.
43 my parts my shares in the estate.
43 part depends] this edn; parts depend F2
53 frontless carriage shameless conduct. In Latin, the word for forehead, frons, is also used to denote the capacity for shame.
54 An egg . . . nest Proverbial (Tilley, E81).
55 blood family, race.
56 witness testimony.
60 Scattergood Though this is not unusual as a surname, it was also traditionally used as an allegorical name for a prodigal. There is a character by this name in John Cooke’s Greene’s Tu Quoque (1611).
61 I . . . law Ambiguous: (1) ‘I live according to the law’; (2) ‘I use the law to make my living’.
61–2 conscience . . . witnesses Proverbial (Dent, C601∗), though the proverb simply translates the Latin adage quoted by Quintilian (Orator’s Education, 5.11.41), Conscientia mille testis.
62 thousand] F3; thoussnd
63 subpoena] F3, subst.; Sub-pæna F2
64 attachment (1) arrest; (2) warrant for arrest.
67 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Thom.’; as marginal note F2
70 A rat . . . hangings Although the use of the curtains of rear-stage for such concealments and such revelations was a theatrical convention, Picklock’s exclamation entails an unmistakably specific recollection of Ham., 3.4.24. In the Induction to Bart. Fair (6–7), the Stage-keeper is wary lest the author be lurking behind the arras.
71–6 Although the news staple has evaporated, Tom keeps the spirit of reportage alive – even though the accuracy and slight tediousness of reiteration in this speech and the next distinguish his report from Staple news.
83 ears A variety of crimes were punishable by the cropping of ears; the proverbial phrase ‘to shake one’s ears’ (Dent, E16) has a slightly indeterminate force, meaning roughly ‘to respond to stimuli as an animal would’, although the implied response can be quite various, ranging from waking up to turning away to self-indulgent indifference.
85 purse-net A net in the shape of a draw-string purse, used to catch rabbits; ‘to catch a knave in a purse-net’ was proverbial (Tilley, K138).
86 worming moving tortuously. The noun worm is used to designate parasites and larvae conspicuous for feeding on foodstuffs or flesh, and the term was often used metaphorically, as it is in John Taylor’s reference to ‘law-worms’, corrupt lawyers like Picklock, ‘who make the common harm their private good’ (Works, 1630, Bbb1).
87 engine-head (1) mechanical trap or, perhaps, (2) ingenious brain, which would be an idiosyncratic sense, developed from the early modern sense of ‘engineer’ (for which, see 3.2.39 and n.)
87 maintenance wrongful abetting of litigation. Because the crime of maintenance usually involves support for a suit by parties with no proper legal interest in it, it was an especially lawyerly crime.
88 hole i.e. hole up. Jonson is drawing on the verb to hole, meaning to send to prison or to pillory; he uses the word in Bart. Fair (4.6.37–8), as here, to describe the head moving into position in a pillory. The context here also evokes the image of the worm moving through the earth. And see note to 5.2.90 below.
90 trundle roll. The image suggests one more association of ‘hole’ (88): ‘hole’ (OED, 10) was a game that involved rolling balls through small arches, rather like the holes in a pillory.
92 yours i.e. your suit against me.
92 combination conspiracy.
93–5 Do . . . billets Picklock’s threat would seem to have been effectively neutralized, but this speech brings to conclusion only a first phase of the struggle with him: though he exults in the confounding of the lawyer’s plot, the elder Pennyboy has not yet fully taken in the fact that this victory is the result of Pennyboy Jr’s improvisatory skill. That realization will issue from the scene that follows, in which Pennyboy Jr will be seen to have engineered the recovery of the deed itself.
93–4 Do . . . reversion ‘Reversion’ is a legal term for an estate that reverts (or has reverted) to the grantor or his heirs, and this legal sense slightly colours the basic sense of Canter’s challenge, which is, roughly, ‘Go ahead and try to reciprocate! Crop our ears!’
93 gownèd vulture Cf. the advocate, Voltore, in Volpone. In his edition of Volpone, Parker notes that legacy-hunters were often called vultures (Parker, 86, n.3).
94 quoited tossed like a quoit; cf. ‘thrown over the bar’, apparently used to suggest violent disbarment at 5.1.71. Pennyboy Canter here anticipates Picklock’s disbarring, and with an image that again evokes the smooth roundness of a head whose ears have been cropped.
94 quoited] G; coyted F2
95 as . . . billets The comparison is obscure. The common meanings of ‘billet’ are a short piece of metal (like an ingot) or wood, or a thick stick used as a weapon, but Parr (ed. Staple) quotes a line from Beaumont and Fletcher’s The Captain – ‘Fighting at single billet with a Barge-man’ (1647, Gg3) – that suggests that ‘billet’ may also have denoted a barge-pole. It is equally possible that a billet is a short piece of wood attached to a line and tossed to shore as a bargeman docks, for ‘billet-head’ is an old ship-building term for simple carved work at the prow of a ship and, specifically, for that portion of the prow of a whale-boat through which a harpoon-line travels.
96–8 This . . . intervalla At the beginning of this second phase of his defeat, Picklock seems to be retreating into a posture of indulgent piety; he also seems to be formulating a new line of attack in which he will accuse both father and son of insanity. Line 98 seems to mean ‘I can forgive their current ravings in deference to their lucida intervalla, the madman’s temporary interval of sanity.’ (Parr, ed. Staple, suggests that Picklock is thinking specifically of the moment at which he and Pennyboy Canter made their original pact as Canter’s moment of lucidity.)
98 SD, 99 SD ] as marginal note in F2, reading ‘Pick-lock / spies Lick- / finger, and askes / him a-/side for the / writing.’
5.3 ] F2 (Act. V. Scene.III. / lickfinger. (to them.
2 you –] this edn; you, F2
3 token you had giv’n me, the keys –] this edn; token, you had giu’n me the keyes, F2
5.3 3 And by i.e. ‘And by warrant of’. The construction of the line is not parallel to that of the preceding line: in lines 2 and 4 Lickfinger answers Picklock’s question concerning how the writ was transmitted – ‘By the porter that [i.e. who] came for it, from you . . . And [who] bade me bring it’ — but in line 3, Lickfinger interrupts this answer in order to explain why he entrusted the document to the porter. This explanatory interruption plainly responds to Picklock’s shocked, if silent, facial reaction to Lickfinger’s reference to an unknown porter.
6–15 You . . . among you The repetitions in these lines do more than emphasize the ways in which Picklock’s stratagem, of engineering Pennyboy Canter’s self-betrayal by means of a written document placed in another’s care, has redounded upon him. The theme of language (and, especially, of writing) as an extension of the self – often as a dangerously misappropriable extension of the self – recurs in many of Jonson’s works.
9 SD The stage direction, relocated here from its original position in F2 as a marginal note at line 16, might conceivably be relocated to the very last line of the preceding scene. Parr (ed. Staple) imagines Pennyboy Jr’s silent display of two props, the deed and the keys, which display, if timed to correspond to lines 5.2.99 and 5.3.1, would make for a broad, but handsome comic effect.
9 SD] placement, F3, following 17, ‘Lickfinger?’; as marginal note opposite 16–24 F2
11 a sealed porter a certified porter, his reliability warranted by the badge he wears indicating his membership in the porters’ guild.
12 scent] F3; sent F2
16 SD] placement, F3, following 14, ‘Noose.’; as marginal note F2 after 14
20 carriage comportment, but with a pun (since carriage derives from the verb to carry). Winter observes that the same pun may be found at 5.1.10 of The London Prodigal, one of Jonson’s sources.
23–4 The elder Pennyboy’s hedged forgiveness of his son is nicely linked to the ambivalence that hovers over his reference to the younger Pennyboy’s cunning defence of his father’s property (and his own inheritance) as an ‘act of piety and good affection’.
25–6 Too . . . persuade Proverbial. (Tilley, P614).
28 SD] placement, F3, following 30, forbid.; as marginal note, opposite 27–29 F2
32 bed-staves Probably the sturdy slats of wood used to support a mattress, with spares used to beat the bedding up into a condition of plumpness (but OED gives no certain definition). Their usefulness as an improvised weapon, ready-to-hand, led to the proverb ‘in the twinkling of a bed-staff’ (see the discussion by various anonymous contributors in N&Q (1858), 347, 436, and 487 and N&Q (1862), 18 and 359). And see EMI (F), 1.5.202–3.
34 his justice Parr (ed. Staple) observes that the same conflation of judge and usurer may be found at 4.5.155 in Lear, where Lear speaks in his madness of the usurer as hanging the cozener, and where the furred gown traditionally associated with the usurer is linked to the judge’s robes, as here.
37–8 old worm . . . screwing ‘Screwing’ means ‘interrogating’. ‘Worm’ serves here as more than a term of general disparagement; the term also denotes the thread of a screw: Jonson thus links the systematically applied pressures associated with both a judge’s inquisitorial activities and a usurer’s economic ones.
40 cases of close-stools containers for chamber-pots.
41 Lollard’s tower The name of the tower at the southern corner of the west end of old St Paul’s in London, long used by the Bishop of London as a prison for heretics.
42 Block-house A slang term for a prison.
43 Lollard Not a common name for a dog. ‘Lollard’ can denote a religious radical (specifically, a follower of John Wyclif), but it can also name a ‘lazy-bones’, one who lolls.
43 brave fine.
44 if so if.
47 still always.
49 simples take medicines work. A simple is a medicine of single ingredient.
5.4 The remaining scenes of Act 5 take place in a room in Pennyboy Sr’s house.
Gifford remarks on Jonson’s debt here to the scene in Aristophanes’ Wasps (891–1008) in which Philoclean brings his dog to trial for theft of a cheese. Coleridge rather elaborately insisted ‘I dare not, will not, think that honest Ben had Lear in mind in this mock mad scene’ (marginalia to Whalley’s edition, Collected Works, gen. ed. Coburn, 12.3.192), yet the evidence of 5.3.34 seems to argue, against Coleridge’s fastidiousness, that Jonson writes here under the influence of both Shakespeare and Aristophanes.
5.4 ] F2 (Act. V. Scene. IIIJ.)
0 SD.1–3] placement, F3; as marginal note F2 (He is seene / sitting at his / Table with / papers be- / fore him.) and as entry direction (Peni.boy. Sen. Porter.)
4 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Wine!’; as marginal note F2
5 o’my worship on my honour.
5 canary sack A moderately sweet white wine from the Canary Islands, a drink considered slightly more refined than ale or beer – but only slightly more refined.
6 your badge The disparaging formulation reduces the porter to his badge of office. See the note to 5.3.11.
11 frock A loose outer garment characteristically worn by labourers and peasants; hence, by the same sort of disparaging synecdoche as at line 6, a labourer or peasant.
13 state estate.
14 lusty healthy.
17 How . . . seventy? The question would not seem so mysterious to most of those with commercial experience: at a 10 per cent annual rate of compounding, the maximum allowable prior to 1624 (for which, see note to 2.1.4–5), interest would equal principal in 7.2725 years – so that ‘principal doubles in seven years’ could stand as a serviceable rule of thumb.
20 use upon use i.e. at compound interest.
32 keeper jailer.
34 tokens small coins, valued, in this case, at a farthing (i.e. a quarter of a penny). Tokens were issued locally, often by taverns, in denominations ranging from a farthing up to a penny; some tokens were of virtually no intrinsic value, used simply for computation of bills.
37 cross-interr’gatory cross-examination.
38 SD] placement, F3, following ‘Peace:’; as marginal note F2
38 SD Animal acts seem to have been a staple of entr’acte entertainment in this period, and trained dogs had been integrated into the action proper of many plays prior to Staple: among them Peele’s Old Wives Tale, Shakespeare’s TGV and MND, Marston’s (?) Histriomastix, Middleton and Rowley’s The Roaring Girl, the anonymous Merry Devil of Edmonton, and, of course, Jonson’s own EMO.
41 SD] Parr, subst.; not in F2
46 SD] in right margin in F2
47 SD] placement, F3, following 48, ‘me,’; as marginal note F2
51 will know will concede knowing.
57 tyke mutt.
58 SD] placement, F3, following ‘arise,’; as marginal note F2
60 dummerer The cant term for a beggar who counterfeits dumbness, though it is tempting to suppose this a compositorial misreading of ‘dumber’, wittier and metrically more regular.
61 kirtle gown, skirt, or outer petticoat.
62 Who? Did Block] Wh, subst; who did? Blocke F2
62 bescumber befoul with faeces. The term is used in Poet., 5.3.260, where it is presented as an example of particularly eccentric (and distinctively Marstonian) diction.
63 parchment lace Textile historians give different meanings of the term, which has been applied to a variety of decorative trims. It may refer to a very fine lace or decorative cord, made with gold, silver, or silken thread, wound (or buttonhole-stitched) around a core of fine strips of parchment or to needlepoint worked upon a parchment pattern.
64 doublet A close-fitting man’s garment.
65 quit satisfy. The more common senses of ‘quit’ are ‘requite’, ‘acquit’, or ‘make restitution’: quitting usually restores a proper balance between the offended and the offender, or debtor and lender. The present usage is unusual in that it involves satisfying someone in the position of judge.
65 SD] placement, F3, following 66, ‘it,’; as marginal note F2
66, 67, 68, 70 it i.e. his guilt.
69 convinced convicted.
71–2 SD] in left margin in F2
73 quirk notion.
5.5 ] 1716; F2 (Act. V. Scene. II. )
0 SD.1] Enter the Jeerers] in left margin in F2
5.5 The jeerers may have entered some lines earlier and so have witnessed the trial of Pennyboy Sr’s dogs.
3 force seize.
5 mainprise The legal device by which an individual stands surety for the release of a prisoner. The phrase ‘without bail or mainprise’ is a legal formula.
8 baited tormented (as in bull- or bear-baiting, a pastime by which the animal is chained loosely to a stake and dogs set upon it). Since baiting was thought to render bulls’ flesh more tasty and nutritious, the sale of flesh from unbaited bulls was subject to penalty in some locations. Since usurers were commonly described as preying on those to whom they lent, Cymbal’s phrase entails an idea of retributive justice. Cymbal is also punning on the homophone ‘bated’, meaning ‘diminished’ or ‘inhibited’.
11 fain gladly.
13–14 jawbone . . . Assinigo ‘Assinigo’ derives from the Spanish asnico, little ass; Cymbal is alluding to Samson’s slaughter of the Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. Cf. ‘Expostulation’ (6.375–80), line 20, and Tro., 2.1.39.
15 ’washing swashing, forcefully slashing.
18 blushet See 2.4.119 and n.
20 Pox . . . jests This ironic remark was proverbial (cf. Tilley, J43 and 44).
28 But . . . Capitol Alluding (somewhat feebly) to the story recorded in Livy (History of Rome, 5.47) that the cackling of geese sacred to Juno alerted Romans guarding the Capitoline hill to an attack by the Gauls in 390 BC.
31 pike Pike were known for an appetite so greedy that they often consumed their young.
33–4 poor . . . john Immature pike were called jacks (see previous note); ‘poor john’ and ‘poor jack’ are names for dried hake.
35 Jack-a-Lent The name both for a stuffed figure publicly stoned and burned during Lent (a custom to which Jonson refers in Tub, 4.2.49–50) and for a Lenten dish.
36 grasshopper . . . dew Both Virgil (Ecologues, 5. 77) and Pliny (Natural History, 11.32.94) refer to the grasshopper’s diet of dew; see also News NW, 163–4.
37 bear . . . claws According to Pliny (Natural History, 8.54), hibernating bears sustain themselves by sucking their own fore-paws.
40 Here’s . . . beyond There will be nothing left here.
42 Dust . . . fleas Fleas were thought to be spontaneously generated out of dust; cf. Pliny, Natural History, 11.39.115.
43 to rear ’em with which to nourish them.
44 thin . . . lantern The plates through which light passed in early lanterns were sometimes made of very thin slices of horn or talc.
44 through] F2 (thorow)
45 gut colon belly.
45 tell count, but also, possibly, tell his fortune by examining his intestines, a reference to hieroscopy, the occult art of divination by inspection of entrails, an art arguably complementary to Almanac’s astrology.
45 intestina intestines (Lat.).
46 Rascals!] Kifer; Rascalls (*baw waw) F2
46 SD] Kifer; as marginal note F2 (*His dogges / barke.)
49 se defendendo in self-defence.
56 SD] placement, F3; as marginal note F2
57 ’Ware . . . the hawk! A proverbial slogan (Dent, H227) warning petty criminals to beware of an officer of the law.
57 hawk] Wh; Hawkes F2; Hawks F3
57 him Emending to ‘hem’ (i.e. them), ‘em’, or ‘them’ (as in Gifford’s edition) is plausible, but the F2 reading, expressing enthusiasm for the assault of the vengeful Canter-raptor, is unexceptionable.
5.6 ] F2 (Act. V. Scene. VI.)
5.6 3 stand stand up to.
6 panic frenzied. The word was still new to English at this time and preserved its association with the particular frenzies induced by the god Pan.
7–8 sounding . . . Cymbal Cf. 1 Corinthians, 13.1.
9 visor mask.
10 buffon licence the freedom granted to buffoons or jesters.
10 buffon] F2 (buffon); Buffoon F3
11 SD] placement, F3, following 12, ‘Life!’; as marginal note F2
14 short . . . anger Jonson is here working with Horace’s definition of anger as a short madness (Epistles, 1.2.62).
19–23 Nay . . . idol At the same time that all debts and other economic imbalances are eliminated, Jonson emphasizes the moral and psychological importance of an appropriate affective relation to wealth (cf. 56–7 below) – and it may be worth noting that Jonson does not propose anything like the moral imperative of eliminating an affective relation to wealth.
26–7 The use . . . famine Both of these sentiments had proverbial forms; for the former, see Dent, U23, and for the latter, Tilley, F441.
29 pens feathers.
30 grown overgrown.
36 From . . . come i.e. from the underworld. Misers and usurers were traditionally thought to be assigned special punishments in hell.
38 mulcts penalties.
40 taken improperly appropriated. Canter’s warning is uncanny, since it anticipates a punishment for misappropriated property, forfeiture of that property, that can have no meaning in the afterlife, save to someone so sunk in avarice that his greed survives death.
44 praemunire Technically, the offence of undertaking litigation in a foreign court or of alleging the jurisdiction of foreign authorities in England. The term is given an extended meaning here, as Canter concedes his own improper arrogation of judicial authority.
46 my cook Elaborating observations first made by Cunningham (Gifford [1875], 2.460), Kifer argues that Jonson here goes out of his way to establish a link between Lickfinger and the great legal theorist Edward Coke – mainly in order to forestall suggestions that Coke is being satirised in the depiction of Pennyboy Sr (Kifer, 1974, 268 and 271). In 1628, after the performance of the play, but before its print publication, Coke strongly urged parliamentary resistance to new devices by which the Crown sought to raise revenues, opposing them as a violation of the liberty of the subject guaranteed by Magna Carta, a set of concerns to which these lines at least casually allude.
48 trench infringe upon.
49 guest lodger.
49 stentor The noun is derived from the name of the loud-voiced herald of Iliad, 5.786–7. Cf. Picklock’s ‘mouth of brass’ (5.2.34).
53 jubilee. The Levitical year of jubilee, celebrated every fifty years, was an occasion of rest, emancipation, and restitution. It was customary in early modern England to designate each quarter-century as a jubilee, a tradition to which Jonson affiliates this play, first performed in February 1626 (still 1625 according to ‘old-style’ dating in which the new year is reckoned to begin on March 25).
53 SD] placement, F3, following 54, ‘Sir.’; as marginal note F2
54 SH pecunia's train] this edn; Tra. F2
56–7 kissing . . . hands The play concludes with gestures designed to reaffirm the principle articulated at lines 19–23 above, that wealth should be the object of appropriate affection.
58 join theirs applaud.
61 uses The general meaning, ‘undertakings’, predominates, but other possible meanings of the word inform the line as well. The meaning ‘habits or customs’ also applies. At law, a use refers to the working of a property contingently held: legal use emphasizes the idea that the value of a property is not intrinsic, but depends on how it is managed or worked. Even more pertinent is a meaning from homiletics: the uses constitute that portion of a sermon in which the preacher proposes practical applications of principles derived from a scriptural passage – and Pecunia might be said to enable men and women to act practically on their principles. On the other hand, the meanings associated with usury – itself one of the meanings of use (which could also mean ‘the employment of borrowed moneys’ or ‘interest’) – would seem to have been effectively banned from application here, given the importance of Pennyboy Sr’s reform in this scene.
66 That . . . this Since ‘that’ refers to ‘The sordid and the covetous’ (65) and ‘this’ to ‘the prodigal’ (64), Pecunia presumably gestures first to Pennyboy Sr and then to Pennyboy Jr.
Epilogue 1 maker’s poet’s. This was one of Jonson’s favourite terms for his vocation: it recalls the etymology of poet, which derives from the Greek term for a creator, or maker. See Discoveries, 1665, 1711, 1771.
1 scope aim, intention.
2 profit and delight As in the Prologue to Volpone (8), Jonson recalls the Horatian dictum that the best poetry ought to both delight and instruct (delectando pariterque monendo, Ars Poetica, 344).
3 clout From French clou, this is the white pin at the centre of the archer’s target, by which the target is attached to the butt.
5 tree piece of wood; in this case, a bow.
5 start shoot an arrow.
6 crack a string break or snap a (bow-)string. Since string is often used for ‘sinew’, a sense of personal physiological failure is also carried beneath the metaphor from archery.
8 weather disposition.
9 misconceit misapprehension.
12 tackle equipment; the word can also have the specialized meaning ‘arrows’.
Epilogue 12 he’s] F3; he’is F2
We yet adventure here to tell you none, See more
Look your news be new and fresh, Master Prologue, and untainted; I See more
more, nor See more
and make more of it in the reporting? See more
I’ll do’t See more
In vulgar estimation, yet am I See more
To bend, and these my agèd knees to buckle See more
A sordid rascal, See more
As I do walk the streets, whisper and point: See more
Had their minds bounded. Now the public riot See more
Be reason and proportion, not fine sounds, See more
Ay, therein they abuse an honourable princess, it is thought. See more
Plain in the styling her ‘Infanta’ and giving her three names. See more
Clara, Pecunia to do with any person? Do they any more but express the See more
The golden mean: the prodigal, how to live, See more
Nor shall the See more
Their tinkling captain, Cymbal, and the rest See more
She’ll come to visit it, as See more
She’ll come to visit it, as See more
Some news of state, for a princess. See more
A noble whimsy’s come into my brain: See more
Your Worship’s barber is See more
Well chanted, See more
The trade of money is fall’n, See more
Good meal in his sleep, but sells the See more
Light on Her Grace as she’s taking the air. See more
That you might ha’ ’em – See more
Thou cur! See more
For my great madam’s monkey when’t has ta’en See more
He’ll draw See more
Not ‘Richard’, but See more
You are all See more
You hunt upon a wrong scent still, and think See more
Be reason and proportion, not fine sounds, See more
I will tell you, sir, See more
Surfeit and fullness have killed more than famine. See more
Appear and let us muster See more
[To Register, etc.] See more
You have entertained a See more
Lord Paul, I think. See more
At the sign o’the Dancing Bears – See more
Lay your money down. See more
Your countryman. See more
Which he was to maintain in his own name, See more
[Reading] See more
And I. See more
And I. See more
Who? Captain Lickfinger? See more
Both for their various shifting of their scene See more
And dext’rous change o’their persons to all shapes See more
My name is Broker. I am secretary See more
But the vile sordid things of time, place, money, See more
My lady may see all. See more
She means inheritance to him and his heirs, See more
No magic to’t, but old See more
Run any hazardous See more
Of these our times. See more
Appeared as little yours as the spectators’. See more
He has rich ingredients in him, I warrant you, if they were extracted; a See more
This and much more for Your good Grace’s sake. See more
All the whole world are canters. I will prove it See more
The same. See more
He is an architect, an engineer, See more
For what? See more
Her breasts, his apples! Her teats, See more
[To the others] See more
Whate’er it cost me. See more
‘Is’t a clear business? Will it manage well? See more
And Lickfinger shall be my master cook. See more
And treated kindly, would have made you noble See more
With wine, gossips, as he meant to do; and then to defraud his purposes! See more
’Tis that that shall secure you, an See more
Which I shall see you See more
But I forgive their See more
And bade me bring it. See more
Oh, Lickfinger! Come hither. See more
I sent it you, together with your keys. See more
For all the passers-by to see See more
Could not See more
Away the lady. See more
The sordid and the covetous, how to die – See more
The golden mean: the prodigal, how to live, See more