Excerpts from Epicœne, or the Silent Woman

List documents mentioning Excerpts from Epicœne, or the Silent Woman

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PROLOGVE.

[…] The Poet prayes you then, with better thought

To sit; and, when his cares are all in brought,

Though there be none far fet, there will deare-bought

Be fit for ladies: some for lords, knights, squires,

Some for your waiting wench, and citie-wires,

Some for your men, and daughters of White-Friars.

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TRV. […] you see guilders will not worke, but inclos’d. They must not discouer, how little serues, with the helpe of art, to adorne a great deale. How long did the canuas hang afore

Ald-gate? were the people suffer’d to see the cities Loue, and Charitie, while they were rude stone, before they were painted, and burnish’d? No. No more should seruants approch their mistresses, but when they are compleat, and finish’d.

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TRV. S’lid, I would be the author of more, to vexe him, that purpose, deserues it: it giues thee law of plaguing him. I’ll tell thee what I would doe. I would make a false almanack; get it printed: and then ha’ him drawne out on a coronation day to the tower-wharfe, and kill him with the noise of the ordinance. Dis-inherit thee! hee cannot, man. Art not thou next of bloud, and his sisters sonne?

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CLE. I, and he will know you too, if ere he saw you but once, though you should meet him at church in the midst of praiers. Hee is one of the Braueries, though he be none o’ the Wits. He will salute a Iudge vpon the bench, and a Bishop in the pulpit, a Lawyer when hee is pleading at the barre, and a Lady when shee is dauncing in a masque, and put her out. He do’s giue playes, and suppers, and inuites his guests to ’hem, aloud, out of his windore, as they ride by in coaches. He has a lodging in the Strand for the purpose. Or to watch when ladies are gone to the China houses, or the Exchange, that hee may meet ’hem by chance, and giue ’hem presents, some two or three hundred pounds-worth of toyes, to be laught at. He is neuer without a spare banquet, or sweet-meats in his chamber, for their women to alight at, and come vp to, for a bait.

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CLE. Sir AMOROVS! you haue very much honested my lodging, with your presence.

LA-F. Good faith, it is a fine lodging! almost, as delicate a lodging, as mine.

CLE. Not so, sir.

LA-F. Excuse me, sir, if it were i’ the Strand, I assure you. I am come, master CLERIMONT, to entreat you wait vpon two or three ladies, to dinner, to day.

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TRV. Mary, your friends doe wonder, sir, the Thames being so neere, wherein you may drowne so handsomely; or London-bridge, at a low fall, with a fine leape, to hurry you downe the streame; or, such a delicate steeple, i’the towne, as Bow, to vault from; or, a brauer height, as Pauls, or, if you affected to doe it neerer home, and a shorter way, an excellent garret windore, into the street; or, a beame, in the said garret, with this halter; which they haue sent, and desire, that you would sooner commit your graue head to this knot, then to the wed-lock nooze; or, take a little sublimate, and goe out of the world, like a rat; or a flie (as one said) with a straw i’ your arse: any way, rather, then to follow this goblin matrimony. […]

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MOR. […] Your knighthood it selfe shall come on it’s knees, and it shall be reiected; it shall bee sued for it’s fees to execution, and not bee redeem’d; it shall cheat at the tweluepeny ordinary, it knighthood, for it’s diet all the terme time, and tell tales for it in the vacation, to the hostesse: or it knighthood shall doe worse; take sanctuary in Coleharbor, and fast. It shall fright all it friends, with borrowing letters; and when one of the foure-score hath brought it knighthood ten shillings, it knighthood shall go to the Cranes, or the Beare at the Bridge-foot, and be drunk in feare: it shal not haue money to discharge one tauerne reckoning, to inuite the old creditors, to forbeare it knighthood; or the new, that should be, to trust it knighthood. […]

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TRV. Why sir? hee has beene a great man at the beare-garden in his time: and from that subtle sport, has tane the witty denomination of his chiefe carousing cups. One he calls his bull, another his beare, another his horse. And then hee has his lesser glasses, that hee calls his deere, and his ape; and seuerall degrees of ’hem too: and neuer is well, nor thinkes any intertainement perfect, till these be brought out, and set o’the cupbord.

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OTT. Not so, Princesse, neither, but vnder correction, sweete Princesse, gi’me leaue—these things I am knowne to the courtiers by. It is reported to them for my humor, and they receiue it so, and doe expect it. TOM OTTERS bull, beare, and horse is knowne all ouer England, in rerum natura.

Mrs. OT. Fore me, I wil na-ture ’hem ouer to Paris-garden, and na-ture you thether too, if you pronounce ’hem againe. Is a beare a fit beast, or a bull, to mixe in society with great ladies? thinke i’ your discretion, in any good politie.

OTT. The horse then, good Princesse.

Mrs OT. Well, I am contented for the horse: they loue to bee well hors’d, I know. I loue it my selfe.

OTT. And it is a delicate fine horse this. Poetarum Pegasus. Vnder correction, Princesse, IVPITER did turne himselfe into a—Taurus, or Bull, vnder correction, good Princesse.

Mrs. OT. By my integritie, I’ll send you ouer to the banke-side, I’ll commit you to the Master of the garden, if I heare but a syllable more. […]

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CLE. I, shee must heare argument. Did not PASIPHAE, who was a queene, loue a bull? and was not CALISTO, the mother of ARCAS, turn’d into a beare, and made a starre, mistris VRSVLA,1 i’ the heauens?

OTT. O God! that I could ha’ said as much! I will haue these stories painted i’ the beare-garden, ex Ouidij metamorphosi.

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MOR. You can speake then!

EPI. Yes, sir.

MOR. Speake out I meane.

EPI. I sir. Why, did you thinke you had married a statue? or a motion, onely? one of the French puppets, with the eyes turn’d with a wire? or some innocent out of the hospitall,2 that would stand with her hands thus, and a playse mouth, and looke vpon you.

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DAV. O, hold me vp a little, I shall goe away i’ the iest else. Hee has got on his whole nest of night-caps, and lock’d himselfe vp, i’ the top o’ the house, as high, as euer he can climbe from the noise. I peep’d in at a crany, and saw him fitting ouer a crosse-beame o’ the roofe, like him o’ the sadlers horse in Fleetstreet, vp-right: and he will sleepe there.

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TRV. […]

[…] Then if shee be couetous and crauing, doe you promise any thing, and performe sparingly: so shall you keepe her in appetite still. Seeme as you would giue, but be like a barren field that yeelds little, or vnlucky dice, to foolish, and hoping gamesters. Let your gifts be slight, and daintie, rather then pretious. Let cunning be aboue cost. Giue cherries at time of yeere, or apricots; and say they were sent you out o’ the countrey, though you bought ’hem in Cheap-side. […]

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OTT. Agreed. Now you shall ha’ the beare, cousin, and sir IOHN DAW the horse, and I’ll ha’ the bull still. Sound Tritons o’ the Thames. Nunc est bibendum, nunc pede libero—

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OTT. A most vile face! and yet shee spends me fortie pound a yeere in mercury, and hogs-bones. All her teeth were made i’ the Blacke-Friers: both her eye-browes i’ the Strand, and her haire in Siluer-street. Euery part o’ the towne ownes a peece of her.

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MOR. Mrs. MARY AMBREE, your examples are dangerous. Rogues, Hell-hounds, Stentors, out of my dores, you sonnes of noise and tumult, begot on an ill May-day, or when the Gally-foist is a-floate to Westminster! A trumpetter could not be conceiu’d, but then!

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CEN. Let him allow you your coach, and foure horses, your woman, your chamber-maid, your page, your gentleman-vsher, your french cooke, and foure groomes.

HAV. And goe with vs, to Bed’lem, to the China houses, and to the Exchange.

CEN. It will open the gate to your fame.

HAV. Here’s CENTAVRE has immortaliz’d her selfe, with taming of her wilde male.

MAV. I, shee has done the miracle of the kingdome.

EPI. But ladies, doe you count it lawfull to haue such pluralitie of seruants, and doe ’hem all graces?

HAV. Why not? why should women denie their fauours to men? Are they the poorer, or the worse?

DAW. Is the Thames the lesse for the dyers water, mistris?

LA-F. Or a torch, for lighting many torches?

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DAV. Mary, god forbid, sir, that you should geld your selfe, to anger your wife.

MOR. So it would rid me of her! and, that I did supererogatorie penance, in a bellfry, at Westminster-hall, i’ the cock-pit, at the fall of a stagge; the tower-wharfe (what place is there else?) London-bridge, Paris-garden, Belins-gate, when the noises are at their height and lowdest. Nay, I would sit out a play, that were nothing but fights at sea, drum, trumpet, and target!

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Notes

Personification of the constellation Ursa Major, the Great Bear. (KL)↑
I.e., Bethlehem Hospital. (KL)↑

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MLA citation

Jonson, Ben. Excerpts from Epicœne, or the Silent Woman. The Map of Early Modern London, Edition 7.0, edited by Janelle Jenstad, U of Victoria, 05 May 2022, mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/7.0/EPIC1.htm.

Chicago citation

Jonson, Ben. Excerpts from Epicœne, or the Silent Woman. The Map of Early Modern London, Edition 7.0. Ed. Janelle Jenstad. Victoria: University of Victoria. Accessed May 05, 2022. mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/7.0/EPIC1.htm.

APA citation

Jonson, B. 2022. Excerpts from Epicœne, or the Silent Woman. In J. Jenstad (Ed), The Map of Early Modern London (Edition 7.0). Victoria: University of Victoria. Retrieved from https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/editions/7.0/EPIC1.htm.

RIS file (for RefMan, RefWorks, EndNote etc.)

Provider: University of Victoria
Database: The Map of Early Modern London
Content: text/plain; charset="utf-8"

TY  - ELEC
A1  - Jonson, Ben
ED  - Jenstad, Janelle
T1  - Excerpts from Epicœne, or the Silent Woman
T2  - The Map of Early Modern London
ET  - 7.0
PY  - 2022
DA  - 2022/05/05
CY  - Victoria
PB  - University of Victoria
LA  - English
UR  - https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/7.0/EPIC1.htm
UR  - https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/7.0/xml/standalone/EPIC1.xml
ER  -

TEI citation

<bibl type="mla"><author><name ref="#JONS1"><surname>Jonson</surname>, <forename>Ben</forename></name></author>. <title level="a">Excerpts from <title level="m">Epicœne, or the Silent Woman</title></title>. <title level="m">The Map of Early Modern London</title>, Edition <edition>7.0</edition>, edited by <editor><name ref="#JENS1"><forename>Janelle</forename> <surname>Jenstad</surname></name></editor>, <publisher>U of Victoria</publisher>, <date when="2022-05-05">05 May 2022</date>, <ref target="https://mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/7.0/EPIC1.htm">mapoflondon.uvic.ca/edition/7.0/EPIC1.htm</ref>.</bibl>

Excerpts from Epicœne, or the Silent Woman

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Pasiphaë Queen of Crete

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Arcas King of Arcadia

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Jupiter Jove

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