BEN: IONSON,
HIS
CASE IS ALTERD.
As it hath beene sundry times Acted by the
Children of the Blacke-friers.
AT LONDON
Printed for Bartholomew Sutton, dwelling in Paules
Church-yard neere the great north doore of S.
Paules Church. 1609.

A pleasant Comedy called, the
Case is Alterd.

Actus primi, Scæna prima.

Sound? after a flourish: Iuniper a Cobler is discouered, sitting
at worke in his shoppe and singing.

Iuniper, Onion, Antony Baladino.

YOV wofull wights giue eare a while,

And marke the tenor of my stile,

Enter Onion
in hast.

Which shall such trembling hearts vnfold

As seldome hath to fore bene told.

Such chances rare and dolefull newes

Oni.

fellow Iuniper

Peace a Gods name.

As may attempt your wits to muse.

Oni.

Gods so, heere man.

A pox a God on you.

Oni.

And cause such trickling teares to passe,

Except your hearts be flint or brasse:

Oni.

Iuniper, Iuniper.

To heare the newes which I shall tell,

That inCastellaonce befell.

Oni.

Sbloud, where didst thou learne to corrupt a man in the midst

of a verse, ha?

Onion.

Gods lid man, seruice is ready to go vp man, you

must slip on your coate and come in, we lacke waiters pitty-

fully.

Iunip.

A pittifull hearing, for now must I of a merry Cobler

become mourning creature.

Exit Onion.

Onion.

Well youle come.

Iunip. Presto.

Go to, a word to the wise, away, flie? vanish:

Lye there the weedes that I disdaine to weare.

Anto.

God saue you Maister Iuniper.

Iuni.

What Signior Antonio Balladino, welcome sweet Ingle.

Anto.

And how do you sir?

Iuni.

Faith you see, put to my shifts here as poore retainers

be oftentimes, sirrah Antony ther's one of my fellowes mighte-

ly enamored of thee, and I faith you slaue, now your come I'le

bring you together, i'ts Peter Onion, the groome of the hal, do

you know him.

Anto.

No not yet, I assure you.

Iuni.

O he is one as right of thy humour as may be, a plaine

simple Rascal, a true dunce, marry he hath bene a notable vilaine

in his time: he is in loue, firrah, with a wench, & I haue preferd

thee to him, thou shalt make him some prety Paradox or some

Aligory, how does my coate fit? well.

Anto.

I very well.

Enter Onion.

Oni.

Na Gods so, fellow Iuniper, come away.

Iun.

Art thou there mad slaue, I come with a powder?

Sirrah fellow Onion. I must haue you peruse this Gentleman

well, and doe him good offices of respect and kindnesse, as in-

stance shall be giuen.

Anto.

Nay good maister Onion what do you meane, I pray

you sir you are to respectue in good faith.

Onion.

I would not you should thinke so sir, for though I

haue no learning, yet I honour a scholer in any ground of the

earth sir,

Shall I request your name sir?

Anto.

My name is Antonio Balladino.

Oni.

Balladino? you are not Pageant Poet to the City of Mil-

laine sir, are you.

Anto.

I supply the place sir: when aworse cannot be had sir.

Oni.

I crie you mercy sir, I loue you the better for that sir, by

Iesu you must pardon me, I knew you not, but Il'd pray to be

better acquainted with you sir, I haue seene of your works.

Anto.

I am at your seruice good Maister Onion, but concer-

ning this maiden that you loue sir? what is she,

Onion.

O did my fellow Iuniper tell you? marry sir, she is

as one may say, but a poore mans child indeede, and for mine

owne part I am no Gentleman borne I must confesse, but my

mind to me a kingdome is truly.

Anto.

Truly a very good saying.

Onion.

T'is somewhat stale, but that's no matter.

Anto.

O t'is the better, such things euer are like bread, which

the staler it is, the more holesome.

Onion.

This is but a hungry comparison in my iudgement.

Anto.

Why, I'le tell you, M. Onion, I do vse as much stale

stuffe, though I say it my selfe, as any man does in that kind I

am sure. Did you see the last Pageant, I set forth?

Onion.

No faith sir, but there goes a huge report on't.

Anto.

Why, you shal be one of my Mæcen-asses, I'le giue you

one of the bookes, O you'le like it admirably.

Oni.

Nay that's certaine, I'le get my fellow Iuniper to read it.

Anto.

Reade it sir, I'le reade it to you.

Onion.

Tut then I shall not chuse but like it.

Anto.

Why looke you sir, I write so plaine, and keepe that

old Decorum, that you must of necessitie like it; mary you shall

haue some now (as for example, in plaies) that will haue eue-

ry day new trickes, and write you nothing but humours: in-

deede this pleases the Gentlemen: but the common fort they

care not for't, they know not what to make on't, they looke

for good matter, they, and are not edified with such toyes.

Onion.

You are in the right, I'le not giue a halfepeny to see

a thousand on'hem. I was at one the last Tearme, but & euer

I see a more roguish thing, I am a peece of cheese, & no onion,

nothing but kings & princes in it, the foole came not out a iot.

Anto.

True sir, they would haue me make such plaies, but as

I tell hem, and they'le giue me twenty pound a play, I'le not

raise my vaine.

Onion.

No, it were a vaine thing, and you should sir.

Anto.

Tut giue me the penny, giue me the peny, I care not

for the Gentlemen I, let me haue a good ground, no matter for

the pen, the plot shall carry it.

Onion.

Indeed that's right, you are in print already for the

best plotter.

Anto.

I

I, I might as well ha bene put in for a dumb shew too.

Oni.

I marry sir, I marle you were not, stand aside sir a while:

Enter an armd Sewer: some halfe dozen in mourning coates follow-
ing and passe by with seruice
.

Enter Valentine.

Onion

How now friend, what are you there? be vncouered,

Would you speake with any man here?

Valen.

I, or else I must ha' returnd you no answer.

Oni.

Friend, you are somewhat to peremptory, let's craue

your absence: nay neuer scorne it, I am a little your better in

this place.

Valen.

I do acknowledge it.

Onion.

Do you acknowledge it? nay then you shall go

forth, Ile teach you how shall acknowledge it another time;

go to, void, I must haue the hall purg'd, no setting vp of a

rest here, packe, begone.

Valen.

I pray you sir is not your name Onion?

Oni.

Your friend as you may vse him, and M. Onion, say on.

Valen.

M. Onion with a murraine, come come put off this

Lyons hide, your eares haue discouered you, why Peter! do

not I know you Peter?

Onion.

Gods so, Valentine!

Valen.

O can you take knowledge of me now sir?

Oni.

Good Lord, sirra, how thou art altred with thy trauell?

Valen.

Nothing so much as thou art with thine office, but

sirra, Onion is the Count Ferneze at home?

Exit Anthony.

Oni.

I Bully, he is aboue; and the Lord Paulo Ferneze, his

son, and Maddam Aurelia, & maddam Phænixella, his daugh-

ters, But O Valentine?

Valen.

How now man, how dost thou?

Oni.

Faith sad, heauy, as a man of my coate ought to be.

Valen.

Why man, thou wert merry inough euen now.

Oni.

True, but thou knowest

All creatures here soiorning, vpon this wretched earth,

Sometimes haue a fit of mourning, as well as a fit of mirth.

O Valentine, mine old Lady is dead, man.

Valen.

Dead!

Oni.

I faith.

Valen.

When dyed she?

Onion.

Mary, to morrow shall be three months, she was

seene going to heauen they say, about some fiue weekes agone!

how now? trickling teares, ha?

Valen.

Faith thou hast made me weepe with this newes.

Onion.

Why I haue done but the parte of an Onion,

you must pardon me.

Scæne. 2.

Enter the sewer, passe by with seruice againe, the seruing-
men take knowledge of
Valentine as they goe.
Iuniper salutes him.

Iuni.

What Valentiue? fellow Onion, take my dish I prithee

you rogue sirrah, tell me, how thou dost, sweet Ingle.

Valen.

Faith, Iuniper, the better to see thee thus frolicke.

Iuni.

Nay, slid I am no changling, I am Iuniper still.

Exit Oni.

I keepe the pristmate ha, you mad Hierogliphick. when shal we

swaagger.

Valen.

Hierogliphick, what meanest thou by that.

Iuni.

Meane? Gods so, ist not a good word man? what?

stand vpon meaning with your freinds. Puh, Absconde.

Valen.

Why, but stay, stay, how long has this sprightly

humor haunted thee?

Iuni.

Foe humour, a foolish naturall gift we haue in the Æ-

quinoctiall.

Valen.

Naturall, slid it may be supernaturall, this?

Iuni.

Valentine, I prithee ruminate thy selfe welcome. What

fortuna de la Guerra.

Valen.

O how pittifully are these words forc't.

As though they were pumpt out on's belly.

Iuni.

Sirrah Ingle, I thinke thou hast seene all the strange

countries in Christendome since thou wentst?

Valen.

I haue seene some Iuniper.

Iuni.

You haue seene Constantinople?

Valen.

I, that I haue.

Iuni.

And Ierusalem, and the Indies, and Goodwine sands, and

the tower of Babylon, and Venice and all.

Valen.

I all; no marle and he haue a nimble tong, if he prac-

tise to vault thus from one side of the world to another.

Iuni.

O it's a most heauenly thing to trauel, & see countries,

especially at sea, and a man had a pattent not to be sicke.

Valen.

O sea sicke I est, and full of the scuruie.

Scæne 3.

Enter Iuniper, Antonio, Sebastian, Martino, Vincentio,
Balthasar and Christophero.

Seba.

Valentine? welcome I faith how dost sirra?

Mart.

How do you good Valentine

.

Vincen.

Troth, Valentine, I am glad to see you.

Balth.

Welcome sweet rogue.

Sebast.

Before God he neuer lookt better in his life.

Balth.

And how ist man? what, Alla Coragio.

Valen.

Neuer better gentlemen I faith.

Iuni.

S'will here comes the steward.

Christ.

Why how now fellowes all here? and nobody to

waight aboue now they are ready to rise? looke vp one or two

Signior Francesco Colomia's man how doo's your good maister.

Exeunt Iuniper, Martino, Vincentio.

Valen.

In health sir he will be here anon.

Christo.

Is he come home, then?

Valen.

I sir he is not past sixe miles hence, he sent me before

to learne if Count Ferneze were here and returne him word.

Christo.

Yes, my Lord is here; and you may tel your maister

he shal come very happily to take his leaue of Lord PauloFer-

neze:who is now instantly to depart with other noble gentle-

men, vpon speciall seruice.

Valen.

I will tell him sir.

Christo.

I pray you doe, fellowes make him drinke.

Valen.

Sirs, what seruice ist they are imployed in?

Sebast.

Why against the French they meane to haue a fling

at Millaine againe they say.

Valen.

Who leades our forces, can you tell?

Sebast.

Marry that do's Signior Maximilian? he is aboue, now.

Valen.

Who, Maximilian of Vicenza?

Balt.

I he? do you know him?

Valen.

Know him? O yes he's an excellent braue soldier.

Balt.

I so they say, but one of the most vaine glorious men

in Europe.

Valen.

He is indeed, marry exceeding valient.

Sebast.

And that is rare.

Balt.

What.

Sebast.

Why to see a vaineglorious man valient.

Valen.

Well he is so I assure you.

Enter Iuniper.

Iuni.

What no further yet, come on you precious rascall,

sir Valentine, Ile giue you a health I faith; for the heauens you

mad Capriceio, hold hooke and line.

Scæne 4.

Enter Lord Paulo Ferneze, his boy following him.

Pau.

Boy.

Boy.

My Lord.

Pau.

Sirrah go vp to Signior Angelio,

And pray him (if he can) deuise some meanes,

To leaue my father, and come speake with me.

Boy

I will my Lord.

Pau.

Well heauen, be auspicious in the euent;

For I do this against my Genius,

And yet my thoughts cannot propose a reason.

Why I should feare, or faint thus in my hopes,

Of one so much endeered to my loue.

Some sparke it is, kindled within the soule:

Whose light yet breaks not to the outward sence,

That propagates this tymerous suspect;

His actions neuer carried any face

Of change, or weaknes. then I iniury him?

In being thus cold conceited of his faith,

O here he comes.

Enter Angelo.

Ang.

How now sweet Lord, whats the matter?

Pau.

Good faith his presence makes me halfe ashamd.

Of my straid thoughts.

Boy.

Bestow your selfe.

Exit Boy.

Where is my father, Signior Angelio.

Ang.

Marry in the galery, where your Lordship left him.

Pau.

Thats well. Then Angelio I will be briefe.

Since time forbids the vse of circumstance,

How well you are receiued in my affection,

Let it appeare by this one instance, onely

That now I will deliuer to your trust,

The deerest secrets, treasurd in my bosome,

Deare Angelio. You are not euery man,

But one, whome my election hath design'd,

As the true proper obiect of my soule:

I vrge not this t'insinuate my desert,

Or supple your tri'd temper, with soft phrases;

True frendship lothes such oyly complement:

But from th'aboundance of that loue, that flowes

Through all my spirits, is my speech enforc'd.

Ang.

Before your Lordship do proceed too far,

Let me be bould to intimate thus much;

That what so ere your wisedome hath t'expose,

Be it the waightiest and most rich affaire,

That euer was included in your breast,

My faith shall poise it, if not——

Pau.

O no more,

Those words haue rapt me with their sweet effects,

So freely breath'd, and so responsible,

To that which I endeuoured to extract,

Arguing a happy mixture of our soules.

Ange.

Why were there no such sympathy sweete Lord?

Yet the impressure of those ample fauours,

I haue deriu'd from your vnmatched spirit,

Would bind my faith to all obseruances.

Pau.

How! fauours Angello, ô speake not of them,

They are meere paintings, and import no merit,

Lookes my loue well? thereon my hopes are plac't:

Faith, that is bought with fauours, cannot last.

Enters Boy.

Boy.

My Lord.

Pau.

How now?

Boy.

You are sought for all about the house, within,

The Count your father cals for you.

Pau.

God, what crosse euents do meet my purposes?

Now will he violently fret and grieue

That I am absent. Boy, say I come presently:

Exit Boy.

Sweet Angello, I cannot now insist

Vpon particulars, I must serue the time

The maine of all this is, I am in loue.

Ange.

Why starts your Lordship?

Pau.

I thought I heard my father comming hitherward, list,

ha?

Ange.

I heare not any thing, it was but your imagination

sure.

Pau.

No?

Ange.

No, I assure your Lordship.

Pau.

I would worke safely.

Ange.

Why, has he no knowledge of it then?

Pau.

O no, no creature yet pertakes it but your selfe

In a third person, and beleeue me friend,

The world containes not now another spirit,

To whom I would reueile it. Harke, harke,

Seruants. Signior Paulo. Lord Ferneze within.

Ange.

A pox vpon those brazen throated slaues,

What are they mad, trow?

Pau.

Alas, blame not them,

Their seruices are (clock-like) to be set,

Backward and forward, at their Lords command,

You know my father's wayward, and his humour

Must not receiue a check, for then all obiects,

Feede both his griefe and his impatience,

And those affections in him, are like powder,

Apt to enflame with euery little sparke,

And blow vp reason, therefore Angelo, peace.

within.

Count.

Why this is rare, is he not in the garden?

Crist.

I know not my Lord.

Count.

See, call him?

Pau.

He is comming this way, let's withdraw a little.

Exeunt.

within.

Seruants.

Signior Paulo, Lord Ferneze, Lord Paulo.

Scæne 5.

EnterCount Ferneze, Maximilian, Aurelia,Phoe-
nixella, Sebast. Balthasar.

Count.

VVHere should he be, trow? did you looke in the

armory?

Sebast.

No my Lord.

Count.

No, why there? ô who would keepe such drones?

Exeunt Sebast. and Baltha.

How now, ha ye found him?

Enter Martino.

Mart.

No my Lord.

Count.

No my Lord, I shall haue shortly all my family

Speake nought, but no my Lord, where is Christophero,

Enter Chrristophero.

Looke how he stands, you sleepy knaue,

Exit Martino.

What is he not in the Garden?

Christo.

No my good Lord.

Count.

Your good Lord, ô how this smels of fennell.

Enter Sebast Baltha.

You haue bene in the garden it appeares, well, well.

Balth.

We eannot find him my Lord.

Sebast.

He is not in the armory.

Count.

He is not, he is no where, is he?

Maxi.

Count Ferneze.

Count.

Signior.

Maxi.

Preserue your patience honorable Count.

Count.

Patience? a Saint would loose his patience to be crost,

As I am with a sort of motly braines,

See see, how like a nest of Rookes they stand,

Enter Onion.

Gaping on one another! now Diligence, what news bring you?

Oni.

Ant please your honour.

Count.

Tut, tut, leaue pleasing of my honour Diligence, you

double with we, come.

Oni.

How: does he find fault with Please his Honour.

S'wounds it has begun a seruingmans speech, euer since I be-

longd to the blew order: I know not how it may shew, now I

am in blacke, but—

Count.

Whats that, you mutter sir? will you proceed?

Oni.

Ant like your good Lordship.

Count.

Yet more, Gods precious.

Oni.

What, do not this like him neither?

Count.

What say you sir knaue?

Oni.

Mary I say your Lordship were best to set me to

schoole againe, to learne how to deliuer a message.

Count.

What do you take exceptions at me then.

Oni.

Exception? I take no exceptions, but by Gods so your

humours——

Count.

Go to you are a Raskall, hold your tongue.

Oni.

Your Lordships poore seruant, I.

Count.

Tempt not my patience.

Oni.

Why I hope I am no spirit, am I?

Maxi.

My Lord, command your Steward to correct the

slaue.

Oni.

Correct him, S'bloud come you and correct him and

you haue a minde to it, correct him, that's a good iest I faith,

the Steward and you both, come and correct him.

Count.

Nay see; away with him, pull his cloth ouer his eares,

Oni.

Cloth? tell me of your cloth, here's your cloth, nay

and I mourne a minute longer, I am the rottenest Onion that e-

uer spake with a tongue.

They thrust him out.

Maxi.

What call your hind's count Ferneze?

Count.

His name is Onion Signior,

Maxi.

I thought him some such sawcy companion.

Count.

Signior Maximillian.

Maxi.

Sweet Lord.

Count.

Let me intreat you, you would not regard

Any contempt flowing from such a spirit,

So rude, so barbarous.

Maxi.

Most noble Count vnder your fauour—

Coun.

Why Ile tell you Signior,

Heele bandy with me word for word, nay more,

Put me to silence, strike me perfect dumb;

And so amaze me, that oftentimes I know not,

Whether to check or cherish his presumption:

Therefore good Signior.

Maxi.

Sweet Lord satisfie your selfe, I am not now to learn

how to manage my affections, I haue obseru'd, and know

the difference betweene a base wretch and a true man, I can

distinguish them, the property of the wretch is, he would hurt

and cannot, of the man, he can hurt, and will not.

Coun.

Go to, my merry daughter, ô these lookes,

Agree well with your habit, do they not?
Enter Iuniper.

Iunip.

Tut, let me alone. By your fauour, this is the Gen-

tleman I thinke, Sir you appeare to be an honorable Gentle-

man, I vnderstand, and could wish (for mine owne part) that

things were conden't otherwise then they are: but (the world

knowes) a foolish fellow, somewhat procliue, and hasty, he

did it in a preiudicate humour; mary now vpon better com-

putation, he wanes; he melts; his poore eyes are in a cold

sweat. Right noble Signior, you can haue but compunction, I

loue the man, tender your compassion.

Maxi.

Doth any man here vnderstand this fellow?

Iunip.

O God sir, I may say frustra to the comprehension

of your intellection.

Maxi.

Before the Lord, he speakes all riddle, I thinke.

I must haue a comment ere I can conceiue him.

Count.

Why he sues to haue his fellow Onion pardon'd,

And you must grant it Signior.

Maxi.

O with all my soule my Lord, is that his motion?

Iunip.

I sir, and we shall retort these kinde fauours with all

allacrity of spirit, we can sir, as may be most expedient, as

well for the quality as the cause, till when in spight of this

complement: I rest a poore Cobler, seruant to my honorable

Lord here, your friend and Iuniper.

Exit.

Maxi.

How Iuniper?

Count.

I Signior.

Maxi.

He is a sweete youth, his tongue has a happy turne

when he sleepes.

Enter Paulo Ferneze, Francisco, Colom[unclear]a,
Angelo, Valentine.

Count.

I for then it rests, O Sir your welcome,

Why God be thanked you are found at last:

Signior Coloma truly you are welcome,

I am glad to see you sir so well returned.

Fran.

I gladly thanke your honour, yet indeed

I am sory for such cause of heauinesse,

As hath possest your Lordship in my absence.

Count.

O Francisco' you knew her what she was!

Fran.

She was a wise and honorable Lady.

Count.

I was she not! well weepe not she is gone,

Passons duld eye can make two grieues of one,

Whom death marke out, vertue, nor bluod can saue,

Princes, as beggers, all must feed the graue.

Max.

Are your horse ready Lord Paulo,

Pau.

I signior the stay for vs at the gate.

Max.

Well tis good. Ladies I will take my leaue of you,

Be your fortunes as your selues? faire. Come let vs to horse,

Count Ferneze I beare a spirit full of thanks for all your hono-

rable courtesies.

Count.

Sir I could wish the number and value of them more

in respect of your deseruings. But Signior Maximillian.

I pay you a word in priuate.

Aur.

I Faith brother you are fitted for a generall yonder,

Beshrow my heart (If I had Fortnnatus hat here) and I would

not wish my selfe a man and go with you, only t'enioy his pre-

sence.

Pau.

Why do you loue him so well sister.

Aur.

No by my troth, but I haue such an odde prety appre-

hension of his humour me thinks: that I am eene tickled with

the conceite of it.

O he is a fine man.

Ang

And me thinks another may be as fine as he.

Aur.

O Angelio, do you thinke I do vrge any comparison a-

gainst you? no, I am not so ill bred, as to be a deprauer of your

worthines: beleeue me, if I had not some hope of your abiding

with vs, I should neuer desire to go out of black whilst I liued:

but learne to speake i'the nose, and turne puritan presently.

Ang.

I thanke you Lady: I know you can flout.

Aur.

Come doe you take it so? I faith you wrong me.

Fran.

I, but Maddame,

Thus to disclaime in all the effects of pleasure,

May make your sadnesse seeme to much affected,

And then the proper grace of it is lost.

Phœnix

Indeed sir, if I did put on this sadnesse

Onely abroad, and in Society,

And were in priuate merry; and quick humor'd;

Then might it seeme affected and abhord:

But as my lookes appeare, such is my spirit,

Drown'd vp with confluence of griefe, and melancholy,

That like to riuers run through all my vaines,

Quenching the pride and feruour of my bloud.

Max.

My honorable Lord? no more:

There is the honour of my bloud ingag'd,

For your sonnes safety.

Count.

Signior, blame me not,

For tending his security so much,

He is mine onely sonne, and that word onely,

Hath with his strong, and reprecussiue sound,

Stroke my heart cold, and giuen it a deepe wound.

Max.

Why but stay, I beseech you, had your Lordship euer

any more sonnes then this.

Count.

Why haue not you knowen it Maximilian?

Max.

Let my Sword faile me then.

Count.

I had one other yonger borne then this,

By twise so many howers as would fill

The circle of a yeare, his name Camillo,

Whome in that blacke, and fearfull night I lost,

(Tis now a nineteene yeares agone at least,

And yet the memory of it sits as fresh

Within my braine as twere but yesterday)

It was that night where in the great Chamont,

The generall for France surprised Vicenza,

Me thinks the horrour of that clamorous shout

His souldiers gaue when they attaind the wall,

Yet tingles in mine eare, me thinkes I see

With what amazed lookes, distracted thoughts,

And minds confus'd, we, that were citizens,

Confronted one another: euery street

Was fild with bitter selfe tormenting cries,

And happy was that foote, that first could presse,

The flowry champaigne, bordering on Verona.

Heere I (imploy'd about my deare wiues safety)

Whose soule is now in peace) lost my Camillo.

Who sure was murdered by the barbarous Souldiers,

Or else I should haue heard——my heart is great.

Sorrow is faint? and passion makes me sweat.

Max

Grieue not sweet Count: comfort your spirts, you

haue a sonne a noble gentleman, he stands in the face of ho-

nour: For his safety let that be no question. I am maister of my

fortune, and he shall share with me. Farewell my honorable

Lord. Ladies once more adiew, for your selfe maddam you are

a most rare creature, I tell you so, be not proud of it, I loue you:

come Lord Paulo to horse.

Pau.

Adiew good Signior Francesco: farewell sister.

Sound a tucket, and as they passe euery one seue-
rally depart, Maximilian, Paulo
Ferne-
ze and Angelo remaine

Ang.

How shall we rid him hence.

Pau.

Why well inough? sweet Signior Maximilian,

I haue some small occasion to stay:

If it may please you but take horse afore

Ile ouer take you, ere your troopes be rang'd.

Max.

Your motion hath tast wel: Lord Ferneze I go.

Exit Max.

Pau.

Now if my loue faire Rachel, were so happy,

But to looke forth. See fortune doth me grace.

Enter Rachel.

Before I can demaund? how now loue.

Where is your father?

Rach.

Gone abroad my Lord:

Pau:

Thats well.

Rach.

I but I feare heele presently returne,

Are you now going my most honored Lord?

Pau.

I my sweet Rachel.

Ang.

Before God, she is a sweet wench.

Pau.

Rachel I hope I shall not need to vrge,

The sacred purity of our effects,

As if it hung in triall or suspence:

Since in our hearts, and by our mutuall vowes,

It is confirmd and seald in sight of heauen,

Nay doe not weepe, why starte you? feare not, Loue.

Your father cannot be return'd so soone,

I prithee doe not looke so heauily,

Thou shalt want nothing.

Rach.

No is your presence nothing?

I shall want that, and wanting that, want all:

For that is all to me.

Pau.

Content thee sweet,

I haue Made choise here of a constant friend

This gentleman? one, whose zealous loue

I doe repose more, then on all the world,

Thy beauteous selfe excepted: and to him,

Haue I committed my deere care of thee,

As to my genius, or my other soule,

Receiue him gentle loue, and what deffects

My absence proues, his presence shall supply.

The time is enuious of our longer stay.

Farewell deere Rachel.

Rach:

Most deere Lord, adew,

Heauen and honour crowne your deeds, and you.

Exit Rachel.

Pau.

Faith tell me Angelio how dost thou like her?

Ang.

Troth well my Lord; but shall I speake my mind.

Pau.

I prithee doe.

Ang.

She is deriud too meanely to be wife

To such a noble person, in my iudgement.

Pau.

Nay then thy iudgement is to meene, I se[unclear]

Didst thou neare read in difference of good,

Tis more to shine in vertue then in bloud.

Enter Iaques.

Ang.

Come you are so sententious my Lord.

Pau.

Here comes her father. How dost thou good Iaques?

Ang.

God saue thee Iaques.

Iaq.

What should this meane? Rachel open the dore.

Exit Iaques.

Ang.

Sbloud how the poore slaue lookes, as though

He had bene hauuted by the spirit Lar,

Or seene the ghost of some great Satrapas[unclear].

In an vnsauory sheet.

Pau.

I muse he spake not, belike he was amazd

Comming so suddenly and vnprepard? Well lets go.
Exeunt.

Actus secundi Scæna prima.

Enter Iaques solus.

SO now inough my heart, beat now no more;

At least for this afright, what a could sweat

Flow'd on my browes, and ouer all my bosome!

Had I not reason? to behold my dore

Beset with vnthrifts, and my selfe abroad?

Why Iaques? was their nothing in the house

Worth a continuall eye, a vigelent thought,

Whose head should neuer nod, nor eyes once wincke?

Looke on my coate, my thoughts; worne quite thred bare,

That time could neuer couer with a nappe,

And by it learne, neuer with nappes of sleepe,

To smother your conceipts of that you keepe.

But yet, I maruell, why these gallant youths

Spoke me so faire, and I esteemd a beggar?

The end of flattery, is gaine, or lechery:

If they seeke gaine of me, they thinke me rich,

But that they do not: for their other obiect:

T'is in my handsome daughter, if it be.

And by your leaue, her handsomnesse may tell them

My beggery counterfeits, and, that her neatnesse,

Flowes from some store of wealth, that breakes my coffers,

With this same engine, loue to mine owne breed.

But this is answered: Beggers will keepe fine,

Their daughters, being faire, though themselues pine.

Well then, it is for her, I, t'is sure for her,

And I make her so briske for some of them,

That I might liue alone once with my gold.

O t'is a sweet companion! kind and true,

A man may trust it when his father cheats him;

Brother, or friend, or wife, ô wondrous pelfe,

That which makes all men false, is true it selfe.

But now this maid, is but suppos'd my daughter:

For I being Steward to a Lord of France,

Of great estate, and wealth, called Lord Chammount,

He gone into the warres, I stole his treasure;

(But heare not, any thing) I stole his treasure,

And this his daughter, being but two yeares old,

Because it lou'd me so, that it would leaue

The nurse her selfe, to come into mine armes,

And had I left it, it would sure haue dyed.

Now herein I was kinde, and had a conscience;

And since her Lady mother that did dye

In child-bed of her, loued me passing well,

It may be nature fashiond this affection,

Both in the child and her: but hees ill bred,

That ransackes tombes, and doth deface the dead.

I'le therefore say no more: suppose the rest,

Here haue I chang'd my forme, my name and hers.

And liue obsurely, to enioy more safe

Enter Rachel.

My deerest treasure. But I must abroad, Rachel.

Rach.

VVhat is your pleasure sir?

Iaq.

Rachel I must abroad.

Lock thy selfe in, but yet take out the key,

That whosoeuer peepes in at the key-hole,

May yet imagine there is none at home.

Rach.

I will sir.

Iaq.

But harke thee Rachel: say a theefe should come,

And misse the key, he would resoule indeede

None were at home, and so breake in the rather:

Ope the doore Rachel, set it open daughter;

But sit in it thy selfe: and talke alowd,

As if there were some more in house with thee:

Put out the fire, kill the chimnies hart,

That it may breath no more then a dead man,

The more we spare my child, the more we gaine.

Exeunt.

Scæne 2.

Enter Christophero, Iuniper and Onion.

CHrist.

What sayes my fellow Onion? come on.

Oni.

All of a house sir, but no fellowes, you are my Lords

Steward, but I pray you what, thinke you of loue, sir?

Christ.

Of loue Onion? Why it's a very honourable humor.

Oni.

Nay if it be but worshipfull I care not.

Iunip.

Go to, it's honorable, checke not at the conceit of the

Gentleman.

Oni.

But in truth sir, you shall do well to think well of loue:

For it thinkes well of you, in me, I assure you.

Chris.

Gramercy fellow Onion: I do thinke well, thou are

in loue, art thou?

Oni.

Partly sir, but I am asham'd to say wholy.

Chris.

Well, I will further it in thee to any honest woman,

or maiden, the best I can.

Iunip.

Why now you come neere him sir, he doth vaile,

He doth remunerate, he doth chaw the cud in the kindnesse

Of an honest imperfection to your worship.

Chris

But who is it thou louest fellow Onion?

Oni.

Mary a poore mans daughter, but none of the honest-

est, I hope.[unclear]

Chris.

Why, wouldst thou not haue her honest?

Oni.

O no, for then I am sure she would not haue me.

Tis Rachel de Prie.

Chris.

Why, she hath the name of a very vertuous mayden.

Iunip.

So shee is sir, but the fellow talkes in quiddits, he.

Chris.

What wouldst thou haue me do in the matter?

Oni.

Do nothing sir, I pray you, but speake for me.

Chris.

In what maner?

Oni.

My fellow Iuniper can tell you sir.

Iunip.

Why as thus sir. Your worship may commend him

for a fellow fit for consanguinity, and that he shaketh with

desire of procreation, or so.

Chris.

That were not so good, me thinkes.

Iunip.

No sir, why so sir? what if you should say to her,

correborate thy selfe sweete soule, let me distinguish thy

pappes with my fingers, diuine Mumps, prety Pastorella?

lookest thou so sweet and bounteous? comfort my friend

here.

Chris.

Well I perceiue you wish, I should say something

may do him grace, and further his desires, and that be sure

I will.

Oni.

I thanke you sir, God saue your life, I pray God

sir.

Iunip.

Your worship is too good to liue long: youle con-

taminate me no seruice.

Chris.

Command thou wouldest say, no good Iuniper.

Iunip.

Health and wealth sir.

Exeunt Onion and Iuniper.

Chris.

This wench will solicite for my selfe,

Making my Lord and maister priuy to it;

And if he second me with his consent,

I will proceede, as hauing long ere this,

Thought her a worthy choyce to make my wife.

Exit.

Scæne 3.

Enter Aurelia, Phœnixella.

AVre.

Roome for a case of matrons coloured blacke,

How motherly my mothers death hath made vs?

I would I had some girles now to bring vp;

O I could make a wench so vertuous,

She should say grace to euery bit of meate,

And gape no wider then a wafers thicknesse:

And she should make French cursies, so most low,

That euery touch should turne her ouer backward.

Phœni.

Sister, these words become not your attire,

Nor your estate: our vertuous mothers death

Should print more deepe effects of sorrow in vs,

Then may be worne out in so little time.

Aure.

Sister, faith you take too much Tobacco,

It makes you blacke within, as y'are without.

What true-stich sister? both your sides alike?

Be of a sleighter worke: for of my word,

You shall be sold as deere or rather deerer?

Will you be bound to customes and to rites?

Shed profitable teares, weepe for aduantage;

Or else, do all things, as you are enclynd.

Hate when your stomacke serues (faith the Physitian)

Not at eleuen and sixe. So if your humour

Be now affected with this heauinesse.

Giue me the reines and spare not, as I do,

In this my pleasurable appetite,

It is Præcisianisme to alter that

With austere iudgement, that is giuen by nature.

I wept you saw too, when my mother dyed:

For then I found it easier to do so,

And fitter with my moode, then not to weepe.

But now tis otherwise, another time

Perhaps I shall haue such deepe thoughts of her,

That I shall weepe a fresh, some tweluemonth hence,

And I will weepe, if I be so dispos'd,

And put on blacke, as grimly then, as now;

Let the minde go still with the bodies stature,

Iudgement is fit for Iudges, giue me nature.

Scæne. 4.

Enter Aurelia, Phænixella, Francisco, Angelo.

FRan.

See Signior Angelo here are the Ladies,

Go you and comfort one, Ile to the other.

Ange.

Therefore I come sir, I'le to the eldest.

God saue you Ladies, these sad moodes of yours,

That make you choose these solitary walkes,

Are hurtfull for your beauties.

Aure.

If we had them.

Ange.

Come, that condition might be for your hearts,

When you protest faith, since we cannot see them.

But this same heart of beauty, your sweet face

Is in mine eye still.

Aure.

O you cut my heart

with your sharpe eye.

Ange.

Nay Lady thats not so, your heart's to hard.

Aure.

My beauties hart?

Ange.

O no.

I meane that regent of affection, Maddam,

That tramples on al loue with such contempt

in this faire breast.

Aur.

No more, your drift is sauour'd,

I had rather seeme hard hearted

Ang.

Then hard fauour 'd,

Is that your meaning, Lady?

Aur.

Go too sir.

Your wits are fresh I know, they need no spur.

Ang.

And therefore you wil ride them.

Aur.

Say I doe.

They will not tire I hope?

Ang.

No not with you, hark you sweet Lady.

Fran.

Tis much pitty Maddam.

You should haue any reason to retaine

This signe of griefe, much lesse the thing disignde.

Phœ.

Griefes are more fit for Ladies then their pleasures.

Fran.

That is for such as follow nought but pleasures.

But you that temper them so wel with vertues,

Vsing your griefes so it would prooue them pleasures.

And you would seeme in cause of griefes & pleasures equally

pleasant.

P

Sir so I do now.

It is the excesse of either that I striue

So much to shun in all my proou'd endeauours,

Although perhaps vnto a generall eye,

I may appeare most wedded to my griefes,

Yet doth my mind forsake no tast of pleasure,

I meane that happy pleasure of the soule,

Deuine and sacred contemplation

Of that eternall, and most glorious blisse.

Proposed as the crowne vnto our soules.

Fran.

I will be silent, yet that I may serue

But as a Decade in the art of memory

To put you stil in mind of your owne vertues

When your too serious thoughts make you too sad)

Accept me for your seruant honored Lady.

Phœn.

Those cerimonies are too comon signior Francis,

For your vncommon grauitie, and iudgement.

And fits them onely, that are nought but cerimony.

Ang.

Come, I will not sue, stally to be your seruant,

But a new tearme, will you be my refuge?

Aur.

Your refuge, why sir.

Ange.

That I might fly to you, when all else faile me.

Aur.

And you be good at flying, be my Plouer.

Ang.

Nay take away the P.

Aur.

Tut, then you cannot fly:

Ang.

Ile warrant you. Ile borrow Cupids wings.

Aur.

Masse then I feare me youle do strange things:

I pray you blame me not, if I suspect you,

Your owne confession simply doth detect you,

Nay and you be so great in Cupids bookes,

T'will make me Iealous. you can with your lookes

(I warrant you) enflame a womans heart,

And at your pleasure take loues golden dart,

And wound the brest of any vertous maide.

Would I were hence: good Faith I am affraid,

You can constraine one ere they be aware,

To run mad for your loue?

Ang.

O this is rate.

Scæne 6.

Aurelio, Phœnixella, Francisco, Angelo, Count.

COunt.

Close with my daughters gentlemen? wel done,

Tis like your selues: nay lusty Angelo,

Let not my presence make you bauke your sport,

I will not breake a minute of discourse

Twixt you and one of your faire Mistresses.

Ang.

One of my mistresses? why thinks your Lordship

I haue so many

Count.

Many? no Angelo.

I do not thinke th'ast many, some fourteene

I here thou hast, euen of our worthiest dames,

Of any note, in Millaine:

Ang.

Nay good my Lord fourteene: it is not so.

Count.

By'th the Masse that ist, here are their names to shew

Fourteene, or fifteene t'one. Good Angelo.

You need not be ashamd of any of them,

They are gallants all.

Ang.

Sbloud you are such a Lord.

Count.

Nay stay sweet Angelo, I am disposed

Exit Ang:

A little to be pleasant past my coustome,

He's gone? he's gone, I haue disgrast him shrewdly,

Daughters take heede of him, he's a wild youth,

Looke what he sayes to you beleeue him not,

He will sweare loue to euery one he sees.

Francisco, giue them councell, good Francisco,

I dare trust thee with both, but him with neither.

Fran.

Your Lordship yet may trust both them with him.

Exunt.

Scæne 7.

Count. Christopher,

Count.

Well goe your waies away, how now Christopher,

What newes with you?

Christ.

I haue an humble suit to your good Lordship.

Count.

A suit Christopher? what suit I prithee?

Christ.

I would craue pardon at your Lordships hands,

If it seeme vaine or simple in your sight.

Count.

Ile pardon all simplicity, Christopher,

What is thy suit?

Christ.

Perhaps being now so old a batcheler,

shall seeme halfe vnwise, to bend my selfe

In strict affection to a poore yong maide.

Count.

What? is it touching loue Christopher?

Art thou dispost to marry, why tis well.

Christo.

I, but your Lordship may imagine now

That I being steward of your honours house.

If I be maried once, will more regard

The maintenance of my wife and of my charge,

Then the due discharge of my place and office:

Count.

No, no, Christopher, I know thee honest.

Christo.

Good faith my Lord, your honour may suspect it--

but——

Count.

Then I should wrong thee, thou hast euer been

Honest and true, and will be still I knowe.

Chris.

I but this marriage alters many men:

And you may feare, it will do me my Lord,

But ere it do so? I will vndergoe

Ten thousand seuerall deaths.

Count.

I know it man.

Who wouldst thou haue I prithee?

Chris.

Rachel de prie,

If your good Lordship, graunt me your consent.

Count.

Rachel de prie? what the poore beggers daughter?

Shees a right handsome maide, how poore soeuer,

And thou hast my consent, with all my hart.

Chris.

I humbly thanke your honour. Ile now aske her

father.

Exit.

Count.

Do so Christofero thou shalt do well.

Tis strange (she being so poore) he should affect her,

But this is more strange that my selfe should loue her.

I spide her, lately, at her fathers doore,

And if I did not see in her sweet face

Gentry and noblenesse, nere trust me more:

But this perswasion, fancie wrought in me,

That fancie being created with her lookes,

For where loue is he thinke his basest obiect

Gentle and noble: I am farre in loue,

And shall be forc'd to wrong my honest steward,

For I must sue, and seeke her for my selfe;

How much my duetie to my late dead wife,

And my owne deere renowne so ere it swaies,

Ile to her father straight. Loue hates delays.

Exit.

Scæne 8.

Enter Onion, Iuniper, Valentine, Sebastian,
Balthasar, Martino
.

Onion.

Come on Ifaith, lets to some exercise or other my

hearts:

Fetch the hilts fellow Iuniper, wilt thou play:

Exit Martino.

Iun.

I cannot resolue you? tis as I am fitted with the ingen-

uity, quantity, or quality of the cudgell.

Valen.

How dost thou bastinado the poore cudgell with

tearmes?

Iuni.

O Ingle, I haue the phrases man, and the Anagrams and

the Epitaphs, fitting the mistery of the noble science.

Oni.

Ile be hangd & he were not misbegotten of some fen-

cer.

Sebast.

Sirrah Valentine, you can resolue me now, haue they

their maisters of defence in other countries as we haue here in

Italy?

Valen.

O Lord, I, especially they in Vtopia, there they per-

forme their prizes and chalenges, with as great cerimony as the

Italian or any nation else.

Balt

Indeed? how is the manner of it (for gods loue) good

Valeniine?

Iuni.

Ingle? I prithee make recourse vnto vs, wee are thy

friends and familiars: sweet Ingle.

Valen.

Why thus sir.

Oni.

God a mercy good Valentine, nay go on.

Iuni.

Silentium bonus socius Onionus, good fellow Onion be

not so ingenious, and turbulent: so sir? and how? how sweete

Ingle?

Valen.

Marry, first they are brought to the publicke Theater:

Iuni.

What? ha? they Theater there

Valen.

Theaters? I and plaies to: both tragidy and comedy

& set foorth with as much state as can be imagined?

Iuni.

By Gods so; a man is nobody, till he has trauelled.

Sebast.

And how are their plaies? as ours are? extemporall?

Valen.

O no? all premeditated things, and some of them ve-

ry good I faith, my maister vsed to visite them often when he

was there.

Balth.

Why how are they in a place where any man may see

them?

Valen.

I, in the common Theaters, I tell you. But the sport

is at a new play to obserue the sway and variety of oppinion

that passeth it. A man shall haue such a confus'd mixture of

iudgement, powr'd out in the throng there, as ridiculous, as

laughter it selfe: one saies he likes not the writing, another

likes not the plot, another not the playing. And sometimes a

fellow that comes not there past once in fiue yeare at a Parli-

ament time or so, will be as deepe myr'd in censuring as the

best, and sweare by Gods foote he would neuer stirre his foote

to see a hundred such as that is.

Oni.

I must trauell to see these things, I shall nere think well

of my selfe else.

Iunip.

Fellow Onion, Ile beare thy charges and thou wilt

but pilgrimize it along with me, to the land of Vtopia.

Sebast.

Why but me thinkes such rookes as these should be

asham'd to iudge.

Valen.

Not a whit? the rankest stinkard of them all, will take

vpon him as peremptory, as if he had writ himselfe in artibus

magister.

Sebast.

And do they stand to a popular censure for any thing

they present.

Valen.

I euer, euer, and the people generally are very ac-

ceptiue and apt to applaud any meritable worke, but there are

two sorts of persons that most commonly are infectious to a

whole auditory.

Balth.

What be they?

Iunip.

I come lets know them.

Oni.

It were good they were noted.

Valen.

Marry? one is the rude barbarous crue, a people that

haue no braines, and yet grounded iudgements, these will hisse

any thing that mounts aboue their grounded capacities. But

the other are worth the obseruation, I faith.

Omnes.

What be they? what be they?

Valen.

Faith a few Caprichious gallants.

Iunip.

Caprichious? stay, that word's for me.

Valen.

And they haue taken such a habit of dislike in all

things, that they will approue nothing, be it neuer so concei-

ted or elaborate, but sit disperst, making faces, and spitting,

wagging their vpright eares and cry filthy, filthy. Simply vtte-

ring their owne condition, and vsing their wryed countenan-

ces in stead of a vice, to turne the good aspects of all that shall

sit neere them, from what they behold.

Enter Martino with cudgels.

Oni.

O that's well sayd, lay them downe, come sirs.

Who plaies, fellow Iuniper, Sebastian, Balthasar:

Some body take them vp, come.

Iunip.

Ingle Valentine?

Valen.

Not I sir, I professe it not.

Iunip.

Sebastian.

Sebast.

Balthasar.

Balth.

Who? I?

Oni.

Come, but one bout, Ile giue hem thee, I faith.

Balth.

Why, heres Martino.

Oni.

Foe he, alas he cannot play a whit, man.

Iunip.

That's all one: no more could you in stata quo prius,

Martino, play with him, euery man has his beginning and

conduction.

Mart.

Will you not hurt me fellow Onion?

Oni.

Hurt thee, no? and I do, put me among pot-hearbs,

And chop me to peeces, come on?

Iunip.

By your fauor sweet bullies giue them roome, back, so,

Martino, do not looke so thin vpon the matter.

Oni.

Ha, well plaid, fall ouer to my legge now? so, to your

guard againe, excellent, to my head now, make home your

blow: spare not me, make it home, good, good a gaine.

Sebast.

Why how now Peter?

Valen.

Gods so, Onion has caught a bruise.

Iunip.

Couragio? be not caprichious? what?

Oni.

Caprichious? not I, I scorn to be caprichious for a scrach,

Martino must haue another bout, come.

Val.Seb.Balth.

No, no, play no more, play no more.

Oni.

Foe, tis nothing, a philip, a deuise, fellow Iuniperpri-

thee get me a Plantan, I had rather play with one that had skil

by halfe.

Mart.

By my troth, fellow Onion, twas against my will.

Oni.

Nay that's not so, twas against my head,

But come, weele ha one bout more.

Iunip.

Not a bout, not a stroke.

Omnes.

No more, no more.

Iunip.

Why Ile giue you demonstration, how it came,

Thou openest the dagger to falsifie ouer with the back sword

frick, and he interrupted, before he could fall to the close.

Oni.

No, no, I know best how it was better thẽ any man here,

I felt his play presently: for looke you, I gathered vpon him

thus, thus do you see? for the double locke, and tooke it single

on the head.

Valen.

He sayes very true, he tooke it single on the head.

Sebast.

Come lets go.

Enter Martino with a cob-web.

Mar.

Here fellow Onion, heres a cob-web.

Oni.

How? a cob-web Martino, I will haue another bout

with you? S'wounds do you first breake my head, and then

giue me a plaister in scorne? come to it, I will haue a bout.

Mart.

God's my witnesse.

Oni.

Tut! your witnesse cannot serue.

Iunip.

S'bloud? why what, thou art not lunatike, art thou?

and thou bee'st auoide Mephostophiles. Say the signe shoud be

in Aries now: as it may be for all vs, where were your life?An-

swere me that?

Sebast.

Hee sayes well, Onion.

Valen.

I indeed doo's he.

Iunip.

Come, come, you are a foolish Naturalist, go, get a

white a of an egge, and a little flax, and close the breach of the

head, it is the most conducible thing that can be. Martino, do

not insinuate vpon your good fortune, but play an honest part

and beare away the bucklers.

Exeunt.

Act. 3. Scæne 1.

Enter Angelo solus.

ANge.

My yong and simple friend, Paulo Ferneze,

Bound me with mighty solemne coniurations,

To be true to him, in his loue, to Rachel,

And to solicite his remembrance still,

In his enforced absence, much, I faith.

True to my friend in cases of affection?

In womens cases? what a iest it is?

How silly he is, that imagines it!

He is an asse that will keepe promise stricktly

In any thing that checkes his priuate pleasure;

Chiefly in loue. S'bloud am not I a man?

Haue I not eyes that are as free to looke?

And bloud to be enflam'd as well as his?

And when it is so, shall I not pursue

Mine owne loues longings, but preferre my friends?

I tis a good foole, do so, hang me then,

Because I swore, alas, who doo's not know,

That louers periuries are ridiculous?

Haue at thee Rachel: Ile go court her sure:

For now I know her father is abroad.

Enter Iaques.

S'bloud see, he is here, ô what damn'd lucke is this?

This labour's lost, I must by no meanes see him.

tau, dery, dery, Exit.

Scæne 2.

Iaques, Christophero.

IAq.

Mischiefe and hell, what is this man a spirit,

Haunts he my houses ghost? still at my doore?

He has beene at my doore, he has beene in,

In my deere doore: pray God my gold be safe.

Enter Christophero.

Gods pitty, heres another. Rachel, ho Rachel.

Chris.

God saue you honest father.

Iaq.

Rachel, Gods light, come to me, Rachel, Rachel!

Exit.

Chris.

Now in Gods name what ayles he? this is strange!

He loues his daughter so, Ile lay my life,

That hee's afraid, hauing beene now abroad,

I come to seeke her loue vnlawfully.

Enter Iaques.

Iaq.

Tis safe, tis safe, they haue not rob'd my treasure.

Chris.

Let it not seeme offensiue to you sir.

Iaq.

Sir, Gods my life, sir, sir, call me sir.

Chris.

Good father here me.

Iaq.

You are most welcome sir,

I meant almost; and would your worship speake?

Would you abase your selfe to speake to me?

Chris.

Tis no abasing father: my intent

Is to do further honour to you sir

Then onely speake: which is to be your sonne.

Iaq.

My gold is in his nostrels, he has smelt it,

Breake breast, breake heart, fall on the earth my entrailes,

With this same bursting admiration!

He knowes my gold, he knowes of all my treasure,

How do you know sir? whereby do you guesse?

Chris.

At what sir? what ist you meane?

Iaq.

I aske, an't please your Gentle worship, how you

know?

I meane, how I should make your worship know

That I haue nothing——

To giue with my poore daughter? I haue nothing:

The very aire, bounteous to euery man,

Is scant to me, sir.

Chris.

I do thinke good father, you are but poore,

Iaq.

He thinkes so, harke, but thinke so:

He thinkes not so, he knowes of all my treasure.

Exit.

Chris.

Poore man he is so ouerioyed to heare

His daughter may be past his hopes bestowed,

That betwixt feare and hope (if I meane simply)

He is thus passionate.

Enter Iaques.

Iaq.

Yet all is safe within, is none without?

No body breake my walles?

Chris.

What say you father, shall I haue your daughter?

Iaq.

I haue no dowry to bestow vpon her.

Chris.

I do expect none, father.

Iaq.

That is well.

Then I beseech your worship make no question

Of that you wish, tis too much fauour to me.

Chris.

Ile leaue him now to giue his passions breath,

Which being setled, I will fetch his daughter:

I shall but moue too much, to speake now to him.

Exit Christophero.

Iaq.

So, hee's gone, would all were dead and gone,

That I might liue with my deere gold alone.

Scæne 3.

Iaques, Count.

COunt.

Here is the poore old man.

Iaq.

Out of my soule another, comes he hither?

Count.

Be not dismaid old man, I come to cheere you.

Iaq.

To me by heauen,

Turne ribs to brasse, turne voice into a trumpet,

To rattle out the battels of my thoughts,

One comes to hold me talke, while th'other robbes me.

Exit.

Count.

He has forgot me sure: what should this meane?

He feares authority, and my want of wife

Will take his daughter from him to defame her:

He that hath naught on earth but one poore daughter,

May take this extasie of care to keepe her.

Enter Iaques.

Iaq.

And yet tis safe: they meane not to vse force,

But fawning comming. I shall easly know

By his next question, if he thinke me rich,

Whom see I? my good Lord?

Count.

Stand vp good father, I call thee not father for thy

age,

But that I gladly wish to be thy sonne,

In honoured marriage with thy beauteous daughter.

Iaq.

O, so, so, so, so, so, this is for gold,

Now it is sure, this is my daughters neatnesse,

Makes them beleeue me rich. No, my good Lord,

Ile tell you all; how my poore haplesse daughter

Got that attire she weares from top to toe.

Count.

Why father, this is nothing.

Iaq.

O yes, good my Lord.

Count.

Indeed it is not.

Iaq.

Nay sweet Lord pardon me? do not dissemble,

Heare your poore beads-man speake; tis requisite

That I (so huge a beggar) make account

Of things that passe my calling: she was borne

T' enioy nothing vnderneath the sonne:

But that, if she had more then other beggars

She should be enuied: I will tell you then

How she had all she weares, her warme shooes (God wot)

A kind maide gaue her, seeing her go barefoot

In a cold frosty morning; God requite her;

Her homely stockings

Count.

Father, Ile heare no more, thou mou'st too much

With thy too curious answere for thy daughter,

That doth deserue a thousand times as much,

Ile be thy Sonne in law, and she shall weare

Th'attire of Countesses.

Iaq.

O good my Lord,

Mock not the poore, remembers not your Lordship,

That pouerty is the precious gift of God.

As well as riches, tread vpon me, rather

Then mocke my poorenes.

Count.

Rise I say:

When I mocke poorenes, then heauens make me poore.

Enter Nuntius.

Scæne 7.

Nuncio, Count.

NVn.

See heres the Count Ferneze, I will tell him

The haplesse accident of his braue sonne,

That hee may seeke the sooner to redeeme him,

Exit Iaques.

God saue your Lordship.

Count.

You are right welcome sir.

Nun.

I would I brought such newes as might deserue it.

Count.

What, bring you me ill newes?

Nun.

Tis ill my Lord,

Yet such as vsuall chance of warre affoords,

And for which all men are prepar'd that vse it,

And those that vse it not, but in their friends,

Or in their children.

Count.

Ill newes of my sonne?

My deere and onely sonne, Ile lay my soule,

Ay me accurs'd, thought of his death doth wound me,

And the report of it will kill me quite.

Nun.

Tis not so ill my Lord.

Count.

How then?

Nun.

Hee's taken prisoner, and that's all.

Count.

That's enough, enough,

I set my thoughts on loue, on seruile loue,

Forget my vertuous wife, feele not the dangers,

The bands and wounds of mine owne flesh and bloud,

And therein am a mad man: therein plagu'd,

With the most just affliction vnder heauen.

Is Maximilian taken prisoner to?

Nun.

My good my Lord, he is return'd with prisoners.

Count.

Ist possible, can Maximilian?

Returne, and view my face without my sonne,

For whom he swore such care as for himselfe?

Nun.

My Lord no care can change the euents of war.

Count.

O! in what tempests do my fortunes saile,

Still wrackt with winds more foule and contrary,

Then any northen guest, or Southerne flawe?

That euer yet inforc't the sea to gape,

And swallow the poore Marchants traffique vp?

First in Vieenza, lost I my first sonne;

Next here in Millaine my most deere lou'd Lady:

And now my Paulo, prisoner to the French,

Which last being printed with my other griefes,

Doth make so huge a volume, that my brest

Cannot containe them. But this is my loue:

I must make loue to Rachel, heauen hath throwne,

This vengeance on me most deseruedly:

Were it for nought but wronging of my steward.

Nun.

My Lord since onely mony may redresse

The worst of this misfortune, be not griued,

Prepare his ransome and your noble sonne

Shall greete your cheered eyes, with the more honour.

Count.

I will prepare his ransome: gratious heauen

Grant his imprisonment may be his worst,

Honored and souldier-like imprisonment,

And that he be not manacled and made

A drudge to his proude foe. And here I vow,

Neuer to dreame of seeme-les amorous toyes,

Nor aime at other ioy on earth,

But the fruition of my onely sonne.

Exunt

Scæne 5.

Enter Iaques with his gold and a scuttle full
of horse-dung
.

Iaq,

He's gone: I knew it; this is our hot louer,

I will beleeue them! I! they may come in

Like simple woers, and be arrant theeues,

And I not know them! tis not to be told,

What seruile villanies, men will do for gold,

O it began to haue a huge strong smell,

Which lying so long together in a place;

Ile giue it vent, it shall ha shift inough,

And if the diuell, that enuies all goodnesse,

Haue told them of my gold, and where I kept it,

Ile set his burning nose once more a worke,

To smell where I remou'd it, here it is:

Ile hide and couer it with this horse-dung:

Who will suppose that such a precious nest[unclear]

Is crownd with such a dunghill excrement?

In my deere life, sleepe sweetly my deere child.

”Scarce lawfully begotten, but yet gotten,

”And thats enough. Rot all hands that come neere thee

Except mine owne. Burne out all eyes that see thee,

Except mine owne. All thoughts of thee be poyson

To their enamor'd harts, except mine owne,

Ile take no leaue, sweet Prince great Emperour,

But see thee euery minute, King of Kings,

Ile not be rude to thee, and turne my backe,

In going from thee, but go backward out:

With my face toward thee, with humble curtesies,

None is within. None ouerlookes my wall.

To haue gold, and to haue it safe, is all.

Exit.

Actus 3. Scæne 1.

Enter Maximilian, with souldiers Chamount,
Camilla, Ferncze, Pacue.

Max.

Lord Chamount and your valient friend there, I can-

not say welcome to Millaine: your thoughts and that word are

not musicall, but I can say you are come to Millaine:

Pac.

Mort diew.

Cha.

Gar soone.

Max.

Gentlemen (I would cal an Emperour so) you are now

my prisoners, I am sorry, marry this, spit in the face of your

fortunes, for your vsage shall be honorable.

Cam.

Wee know it signior Maximilian,

The fame of al your actions sounds nought else,

But perfect honour from her swelling cheeks.

Max.

It shall do so still I assure you, and I will giue you rea-

son, there is in this last action (you know)a noble gentleman of

our party, & a right valient; semblably prisoner to your gene-

ral, as your honor'd selfe's to me, for whose safety, this tongue

hath giuen warrant to his honorable father, the Count Ferneze.

You conceiue me.

Cam.

I signior.

Max.

Well? then I must tell you your ransomes be to re-

deeme him, what thinke you? your answer.

Cam.

Marry with my Lords leaue here I say signior,

This free & ample offer you haue made,

Agrees well with your honour, but not ours:

For I thinke not but Chamount is as well borne

As is Ferneze, then if I mistake not,

He scornes to haue his worth so vnderprised,

That it should neede an adiunct, in exchange,

Of any equall fortune. Noble Signior?

I am a souldier, and I loue Chamount,

Ere I would bruse his estimation,

With the least ruine of mine owne respect,

In this vild kind, these legs should rot with irons,

This body pine in prison, till the flesh

Dropt from my bones in flakes, like withered leaues,

In heart of Autumne, from a stubborne Oke.

Maxi.

Mounsieur Gasper (I take it so is your name) mis-

prise me not, I wil trample on the hart, on the soule of him that

shall say, I will wrong you: what I purpose, you cannot now

know; but you shall know, and doubt not to your content-

ment. Lord Chamount, I will leaue you, whilest I go in and

present my selfe to the honorable Count, till my regression so

please you, your noble feete may measure this priuate, plea-

sant and most princely walke, Souldiers regard them and re-

spect them.

Pac.

O Ver bon: excellenta gull, he tak'a my Lord Chamount

for Mounsieur Gaspra, & Mounsieur Gaspra for my Lord Cha-

mont, ô dis be braue for make a me laugh'a, ha,ha,ha, ô my

heart tickla.

Cam.

I but your Lordship knowes not what hard fate

Might haue pursued vs, therefore howsoere

The changing of our names was necessary

And we must now be carefull to maintaine

This error strongly, which our owne deuise,

Hath thrust into their ignorant conceits,

For should we (on the taste of this good fortune)

Appeare our selues, t'would both create in them

A kinde of iealousie, and perchaunce inuert

Those honourable courses they intend.

Cha.

True my deere Gasper: but this hang by here,

Will (at one time or other) on my soule

Discouer vs: A secret in his mouth

Is like a wild bird put into a cage,

Whose doore no sooner opens, but tis out.

But sirra, if I may but know

Thou vtterst it

Pac.

Vtteria? vat Mounsieur?

Cha.

That he is Gasper, and I true Chamount.

Pac.

O pardone moy, fore my tongue shall put out de secreta,

Shall breede de cankra in my mouth.

Count.

Speake not so loud Pacue.

Pac.

Foe, you shall not heare foole, for all your long eare,

Reguard Mounsieur: you be de Chamont, Chamont be Gas-

pra .

Enter Count Ferneze, Maximilian, Francesco, Au-
relia
, Phœnixella, Finio.

Cha.

Peace, here comes Maximilian.

Cam.

O belike that's the Count Ferneze, that old man.

Cha.

Are those his daughters, trow?

Cam.

I sure, I thinke they are.

Cha.

Fore God the taller is a gallant Lady.

Cam.

So are they both beleeue me.

Max.

True my honorable Lord, that Chamont was the fa-

ther of this man.

Count.

O that may be, for when I lost my sonne,

This was but yong it seemes.

Fran.

Faith had Camillo liued,

He had beene much about his yeares, my Lord.

Count.

He had indeed, well, speake no more of him.

Max.

Signior perceiue you the errour? twas no good of-

fice in vs to stretch the remembrance of so deere a losse. Count

Ferneze, let sommer sit in your eye, looke cheerefully sweete

Count, will you do me the honour to confine this noble spi-

rit within the circle of your armes?

Count.

Honor'd Chamont reach me your valiant hand,

I could haue wisht some happier accident

Had made the way vnto this mutuall knowledge,

Which either of vs now must take of other,

But sure it is the pleasure of our fates,

That we should thus be wrack't on Fortunes wheele,

Let vs prepare with steeled patience

To tread on torment, and with mindes confirm'd

Welcome the worst of enuy.

Max.

Noble Lord, tis thus. I haue here (in mine honour)

set this gentleman free, without ransome, he is now himselfe,

his valour hath deseru'd it, in the eye of my judgement. Moun-

sieur Gasper you are deere to me: fortuna non mutuat genus.

But to the maine, if it may square with your Lordships li-

king, and his loue, I could desire that he were now instant-

ly imployed to your noble Generall in the exchange of Fer-

neze for your selfe, it is the businesse that requires the tender

hand of a friend.

Count.

I, and it would be with more speed effected,

If he would vndertake it.

Max.

True my Lord. Mounsieur Gasper, how stand you

affected to this motion?

Cha.

My duty must attend his Lordships will.

Max.

What sayes the Lord Chamont?

Cam.

My will doth then apprroue what these haue vrg'd.

Max.

Why there is good harmony, good musicke in this:

Mounsieur Gasper, you shall protract no time, onely I will

giue you a bowle of rich wine to the health of your Generall,

another to the successe of your iourney, and a third to the

loue of my sword. Passe.

Exeunt all but Aurelia and Phœnixella.

Aure.

Why how now sister in a motley muse?

Go to, thers somewhat in the wind, I see.

Faith this browne study suites not with your blacke,

Your habit and your thoughts are of two colours.

Phœn.

Good faith me thinkes that this young Lord Cha-

mont fauours my mother, sister, does he not?

Aure.

A mothelry conceite, ô blind excuse,

Blinder then loue himselfe. Well sister, well.

Cupid hath tane his stand in both your eyes, The case is al-

terd.

Phœn.

And what of that?

Aure.

Nay nothing but a Saint.

Another Bridget, one that for a face

Would put downe Vesta, in whose lookes doth swim,

The very sweetest creame of modesty.

You to turne tippet? fie, fie, will you giue

A packing penny to Virginity.

I thought youl'd dwell so long in Cypres Ile,

You'd worship Maddam Venus at the length;

But come, the strongest fall, and why not you?

Nay, do not frowne.

Phœn.

Go. go, you foole. Adiew.

Exit.

Aure.

Well I may iest, or so: but Cupid knowes

My taking is as bad, or worse then hers.

O Mounsieur Gasper? if thou bee'st a man,

Be not affraid to court me, do but speake,

Challenge thy right and weare it: for I sweare

Till thou arriud'st, nere came affection here.

Exit.

Enter Pacue, Finio.

Fin.

Come on my sweet finicall Pacue, the very prime

Of Pages, heres an excellent place for vs to practise in,

No body sees vs here, come lets to it.

Enter Onion.

Pac.

Contenta: Reguarde, vou le Preimer.

Oni.

Sirra Finio?

Pac.

Mort deiu le pesant.

Oni.

Didst thou see Valentine?

Finio.

Valentine? no.

Oni.

No?

Fini.

No. Sirrah Onion, whither goest?

Oni.

O I am vext, he that would trust any of these lying

trauellers.

Finio.

I prithee stay good Onion.

Pac.

Mounsieur Onion, vene ca, come hidera, Ie vou prey.

By gar me ha see two, tree, foure hundra towsand of your

Cousan hang. Lend me your hand, shall prey for know you

bettra.

Oni.

I thanke you good signior Parla vou? O that I were in an other world,

in the Ingies, or some where, that I might haue

roome to laugh.

Pac.

A we fort boon: stand? you be deere now, me come,

Boon iour Mounsieur.

Vnder the arme.

Fin.

God morrow good signior.

Pac

By gar, be mush glad for see you.

Fin

I returne you most kind thanks sir.

Oni.

How? how? Sbloud this is rare?

Pac.

Nay, shall make you say rare by and by, Reguard

Mounsieur Finio,

The shoulder

Fin.

Signior Pache.

Pac.

Dieu vou gard Mounsieur:

Fin.

God saue you sweet signior.

Pac.

Mounsieur Onion? is not fort boon.

Oni.

Beane? quoth he, would I were in debt of a pottle of

beanes I could do as much.

Fin.

Welcome signior, whats next?

Pac.

O here, Void de grand admiration, as should meet per-

chance Mounsieur Finio.

Fin.

Mounsieur Pacue

Pac.

Iesu? by Gar who thinke wee shall meete here?

Fin.

By this hand I am not a little proud of it, sir

Oni:

This trick is onely for the the chamber, it cannot be

cleanly done abroad.

Pac.

Well what say you for dis den? Mounsieur.

Fin.

Nay pray, sir.

Pac.

Par ma foy vou bein encounters?

Fin

What doe you meane sir, let your gloue alone.

Pac.

Comen, se porte la sante.

Fin.

Faith exceeding well sir.

Pac,

Trot, be mush ioy for heire.

Fin:

And how ist with you sweet signior Pache.

Pac.

Fat comme vou voyer.

Oni.

Yong gentlemen? spirits of bloud, if euer youle tast

of a sweet peece of mutton, do Onion a good turne now.

Pac.

Que que, parla Mounseir, what ist.

Oni.

Faith teach me one of these tricks.

Pac.

O me shall doe presently, stand you deere, you signi-

or deere, my selfe is here: so fort bein, now I parle to Moun-

seir Onion, Onion pratla to you, you speaka to me, so, and as you

parle chang the bonet, Mounseir Onion.

Oni.

Mounseiur Finio.

Fin.

Mounseur Pacue.

Pac.

Pray be couera.

Oni.

Nay I beseech you sir.

Fin.

What do you meane.

Pac.

Pardon moy, shall be so,

Oni

O God sir.

Fin.

Not I in good faith sir.

Pac.

By gar you must.

Oni:

It shall be yours.

Fin.

Nay then you wrong me,

Oni.

Well and euer I come to be great:

Pac.

You be big enough for de Onion already,

Oni.

I meane a great man.

Fin.

Then thou'dst be a monster.

Oni.

Well God knowes not what fortune may doe, com-

maund me, vse me from the soule to the crowne, and the

crowne to the soule: meaning not onely from the crowne of

the head, and the sole of the foot, but also the foote of the mind

and the crownes of the purse, I cannot stay now yong gentle-

men but —— time was, time is, and time shall be.

Exeunt.

Enter Chamount, Camillo.

Cha.

Sweet Iasper I am sorry we must part,

But strong necessity enforceth it.

Let not the time seeme long vnto my friend,

Till my returne for by our loue I sweare

(The sacred spheare wherein our soules are knit)

I will endeauour to effect this busines

With all industrious care and happy speed.

Cam.

My Lord these circumstances would come well,

To one lesse capable of your desert

Then I: in whom your mirrit is confirmed

With such authenticall and grounded proues.

Cha.

Well I will vse no more. Gasper adiew.

Cam.

Farewell my honored Lord.

Cha.

Commend me to the Lady, my good Gasper.

Cam.

I had remembred that had not you vrgd it.

Cha.

Once more adiew sweet Gasper.

Cam.

My good Lord.

Exit Camillo.

Cha.

Thy vertues are more precious then thy name,

Kind gentleman I would not sell thy loue,

For all the earthly obiects that mine eyes,

Haue euer tasted, sure thou art nobly borne,

How euer fortune hath obscurd thy birth:

For natiue honour sparkles in thine eyes,

How may I blesse the time where in Chamont

My honored father did surprise vicenza,

Where this my friend (knowen by no name) was found,

Being then a child and scarce of power to speake,

To whom my father gaue this name of Gasper,

And as his owne respected him to death,

Since when wee two haue shard our mutuall fortunes,

With equall spirits, and but deathes rude hand,

No violence shall dissolue this sacred band.

Exit.

Enter Iuniper in his shop singing: to him Onion.

Oni.

Fellow Iuniper, no more of thy songs and sonets, sweet

Iuniper, no more of thy hymnes and madrigals, thou sing'st, but

I sigh.

Iuni

Whats the matter Peter ha? what in an Academy still,

still in sable, and costly black array? ha?

Oni.

Prithee rise mount, mount sweet Iuniper, for I goe

downe the wind, and yet I puffe: for I am vext.

Iuni.

Ha Bully? vext? what intoxicate? is thy braine in a

quintescence? an Idea? a metamorphosis? an Apology? ha

rogue? come this loue feeds vpon thee, I see by thy cheekes,

and drinkes healthes of vermilion, teares I see by thine eyes.

Oni.

I confesse Cupids carouse, he plaies super negulum

with my liquor of life

Iuni.

Tut, thou art a goose to be Cupids gull, go to, no more

of this contemplations, & calculations, mourne not. for Rachels

thine owne

Oni.

For that let the higher powers worke: but sweet Iuni-

per , I am not sad for her, and yet for her in a second person, or

if not so, yet in a third.

Iuni.

How second person? away, away, in the crotchets al-

ready Longitude and Latitude? what second? what person?

ha?

Oni.

Iuniper, Ile bewray my selfe before thee, for thy com-

pany is sweet vnto me, but I must entreat thy helping hand in

the case.

Iuni.

Tut? no more of this surquedry; I am thine owne? ad

vngem vpsie freeze: pell mell, come, what case? what case?

Oni.

For the case it may be any mans case, as well as mine,

Rachel I meane, but Ile medle with her anon, in the meane time,

Valentine is the man hath wrongd me.

Iuni.

How? my Ingle wrong thee, ist possible?

Oni.

Your Ingle, hang him infidell, well and if I be not re-

uengd one him let Peter Onion (by the infernall Gods) be tur-

ned to a leeke or a scalion, I spake to him for a ditty for this

handkerchier.

Iuni.

Why, has he not done it?

Oni.

Done it, not a verse by this hand.

Iuni.

O in diebus illis, O preposterous, wel come be blith, the

best inditer of thē al is somtimes dul, fellow Onion, pardon mine

Ingle: he is a man, has impefections and declinations, as other

men haue, his masse somtimes cannot caruet nor prognisticat

and come of, as it should, no matter, Ile hammer our a para-

phrase for thee my selfe.

Oni.

No sweet Iuniper, no danger doth breed delay, loue

makes me chollericke, I can beare no longer.

Iuni.

Not beare? what my mad Meridian slaue? not beare?

what?

Oni.

Cupids burden: tis to heauy, to tollerable, and as for

the handkerchire and the posie: I will not trouble thee: but

if thou wilt goe with me into her fathers backside, old Iaques

backside, and speake for me to Rachel, I wil not be ingratitude,

the old man is abroad and all.

Iuni.

Art thou sure on't.

Oni.

As sure as an obligation.

Iuni.

Lets away then, come we spend time in a vaine cir-

cumference, trade I cashire thee til to morrow, fellow Onion

for thy sake I fini[unclear] this workiday.

Oni.

God a mercy. and for thy sake Ile at any time make a

holiday.

Exunt.

Enter Angelio, Rachel.

Ang.

Nay I prithee Rachel, I come to comfort thee,

Be not so sad.

Rach.

O signior Angelo,

No comfort but his presence can remoue,

This sadnesse from my heart.

Ang.

Nay then y'are fond,

And want that strength of iudgement and election,

That should be attendent on your yeares and forme,

Will you, because your Lord is taken prisoner,

Blubber and weepe and keepe a peeuish stirre,

As though you would turne turtle with the newes,

Come, come, be wise. Sblood say your Lord should die:

And you goe marre your face as you begin,

What would you doe trow? who would care for you;

But this it is, when nature will bestow

Her gifts on such as know not how to vse them,

You shall haue some that had they but one quarter

Of your faire beauty? they would make it shew

A little otherwise then you do this,

Or they would see the painter twice an hower,

And I commend them I, that can vse art,

With such iudiciall practise.

Rach.

You talke iedly,

If this be your best comfort keepe it still,

My sences cannot feede on such sower cates.

Ang.

And why sweet heart.

Rach.

Nay leaue good signior.

Ang.

Come I haue sweeter vyands yet in store.

Enter Onion and Iuniper.

Iuni.

I in any case mistres Rachel.

Ang.

Rachel?

Rach.

Gods pitty signior Angelo, I here my father, away

for Gods sake.

Ang:

S'bloud, I am betwixt, I thinke, this is twice now, I

haue been serued thus.

Exit

Rach.

Pray God he meet him not.

Exit Rechel.

Oni.

O braue? she's yonder, O terrible shee's gone.

Iuni.

Yea? so nimble in your Dilemma's, and your Hiperbole's

Hay my loue? O my loue, at the first sight: By the masse.

Oni.

O how she skudded, O sweet scud, how she tripped, O

delicate trip and goe.

Iuni.

Come thou art enamored with the influence of her

profundity, but sirrah harke a little.

Oni.

O rare, what? what? passing Ifaith, what ist? what ist?

Iuni.

What wilt thou say now, if Rachel stand now, and play

hity tity through the key hole, to behold the equipage of thy

person:

Oni.

O sweet equipage, try good Iuniper, tickle her, talke,

talke, O? rare

Iuni.

Mistris Rachel (watch then if her father come)

Rachel? Madona? Rachel? No.

Oni.

Say I am here, Onion or Peter or so.

Iuni.

No, Ile knock, weele not stand vpon Horizons, and

tricks, but fall roundly to the matter.

Oni.

Well said sweet Iuniper: Horizons? hang hem? knock, knock.

Rach.

Whose there? father.

Iuni.

Father no? and yet a father, if you please to be a mo-

ther.

Oni.

Well said Iuniper, to her againe, a smack or two more of

the mother

Iuni.

Do you here? sweet soule, sweet radamant? sweet ma-

thauell one word Melpomine? are you at leasure.

Rach.

At leasure? what to doe?

Iuni.

To doe what, to doe nothing, but to be liable to the

extasie of true loues exigent, or so, you smell my meaning.

Oni.

Smell, filthy, fellow Iuniper filthy? smell? O most odi-

ous.

Iuni.

How filthy.

Oni.

Filthy, by this finger? smell? smell a rat, smel a pudding,

away these tricks are for truls, a plaine wench loues plaine

dealing, ile vpon my selfe, smel to march paine wench.

Iuni.

With all my heart, Ile be legitimate and silent as an ap-

ple-squire, Ile see nothing, and say nothing.

Oni.

Sweet hart, sweet hart?

Iuni.

And bag pudding, ha, ha, ha?

Within

Iaq.

What Rachel my girle what Rachel;

Oni.

Gods lid?

Iaq.

What Rachel,

Within

Rach.

Here I am

Oni

What rakehell cals Rachel: O treason to my loue.

Iuni.

Its her father on my life, how shall wee entrench and

edifie our selues from him?

Oni.

O conni-catching Cupid.

Enter Iaques.

Iaq.

How in my back side? where? what come they for?

Onion gets vp into a tree.

Where are they? Rachel? theeues, theeues?

Stay villaine slaue: Rachel? vntye my dog.

Nay theife thou canst not scape.

Inni.

I pray you sir.

Oni

A pitifull Onion, that thou hadst a rope.

Iaq.

Why Rachel: when I say: let loose my dog?

garlique my mastiue, let him loose I say.

Iuni

For Gods sake here me speake, keepe vp your cur.

Oni.

I feare not garlique, heele not bite Onion his kins-

man pray God he come out, and then theile not smell me.

Iaq.

Well then deliuer, come deliuer slaue?

Iuni,

What should I deliuer?

Iaq.

O thou wouldst haue me tell thee? wouldst thou shew

me thy hands, what hast thou in thy hands?

Iuni.

Here be my hands.

Iaq.

Stay are not thy fingers ends begrimd with durt, no

thou hast wipt them.

Iuni.

Wipt them?

Iaq.

I thou villaine? thou art a subtile knaue, put off thy

shewes, come I will see them, giue me a knife here Rachel, Ile

rip the soles.

Oni.

No matter he's a cobler, he can mend them.

Iuni.

What are you mad? are you detestable, would you

make an Anatomy of me, thinke you I am not true Ortogra-

phie?

Iaq.

Ortographie, Anatomy?

Iuni.

For Gods sake be not so inuiolable. I am no ambusca-

do, what predicament call you this, why do you intimate so

much.

Iaq.

I can feele nothing.

Oni.

Bir Lady but Onion feeles something.

Iaq.

Soft sir, you are not yet gon, shake your legs, come,

and your armes, be briefe, stay let me see these drums, these kil-

derkins, these bombard slops, what is it crams hem so.

Iuni.

Nothing but haire.

Iaq.

Thats true, I had almost forgot this rug, this hedghogs

nest, this haymowe, this beares skin, this heath, this firsbush.

Iuni.

O let me goe, you teare my haire, you reluolue my

braines and vnderstanding.

Iaq.

Heart, thou art some what eas'd? halfe of my feare

Hath tane his leaue of my, the other halfe

Still keepes possession in dispight of hope,

Vntill these amorous eyes, court my faire gold:

Deare I come to thee: friend, why art not gone?

Auoid my soules vexation, Sathan hence?

Why doest thou stare on me, why doest thou stay?

Why por'st thou on the ground with theeuish eyes?

What see'st thou there, thou curre? what gap'st thou at?

Hence from my house, Rachel, send garlick forth.

Iunip.

I am gone sir, I am gone, for Gods sake stay.

Exit Iuniper.

Iaq.

Pack, and thanke God thou scap'st so well away.

Oni.

If I scape this tree, destinies, I defie you.

Iaq.

I cannot see by any Characters

Writ on this earth, that any fellon foote

Hath tane acquaintance of this hallowed ground.

None sees me: knees do homage to your Lord.

Tis safe, tis safe, it lyes and sleepes so soundly,

Twould do one good to looke on't. If this blisse

Be giuen to any man that hath much gold,

Iustly to say tis safe, I say tis safe.

O what a heauenly round these two words dance

Within me and without me: First I thinke hem,

And then I speake hem, then I watch their sound,

And drinke it greedily with both mine eares,

Then thinke, then speake, then drinke their sound againe,

And racket round about this bodies court.

These two sweet words: tis safe: stay I will feed

My other sences, ô how sweet it smels.

Oni.

I mar'le he smels not Onion, being so neere it.

Iaq.

Downe to thy graue againe, thou beauteous Ghost,

Angels men say, are spirits: Spirits be

Inuisible, bright angels are you so?

Be you inuisible to euery eye.

Saue onely these: Sleepe, Ile not breake your rest,

Though you breake mine: Deare Saints adiew, adiew:

My feete part from you, but my soule dwels with you.

Exit.

Oni.

Is he gone? ô Fortune my friend, & not fortune my foe,

I come downe to embrace thee, and kisse thy great toe.

Enter Iuniper.

Iunip.

Fellow Onion? Peter.

Oni.

Fellow Iuniper.

What's the old panurgo gone? departed, cosmografied, ha?

Oni.

O I, and harke Sirrah. Shall I tell him? no.

Iunip.

Nay, be briefe and declare, stand not vpon cono-

drums now, thou knowest what contagious speeches I haue

sufferd for thy sake and he should come againe and inuent me

here.

Oni.

He saies true, it was for my sake, I will tell him.

Sirra Iuniper? and yet I will not.

Iunip.

What sayest thou sweete Onion?

Oni.

And thou hadst smelt the sent of me when I was in the

tree, thou wouldest not haue said so: but Sirra, The case is al-

terd with me, my heart has giuen loue a box of the eare, made

him kicke vp the heeles I faith.

Iunip.

Sayest thou me so, mad Greeke? how haps it? how

chances it.

Oni.

I cannot hold it, Iuniper, haue an eye, looke, haue an

eye to the doore, the old prouerb's true, I see: gold is but

mucke. Nay Gods so Iuniper to the doore, an eye to the maine

chance, here you slaue, haue an eye.

Iunip.

O inexorable! ô infallible! ô infricate deuine, and

superficiall fortune.

Oni.

Nay, it will be sufficient anon, here. looke heere.

Iunip.

O insolent good lucke! How didst thou produce

th'intelligence of the gold' mynerals.

Oni.

Ile tell you that anon, heere, make shift, conuey,

cramme.

Ile teach you how you shall call for garlike againe I faith.

Iunip.

S'bloud what shall we do with all this? we shall nere

bring it to a consumption.

Oni.

Consumption? why weele bee most sumptuously at-tir'd, man.

Iunip.

By this gold, I will haue three or foure most stigma-

ticall suites presently.

Oni.

Ile go in my foot-cloth, Ile turne Gentleman.

Iunip.

So will I.

Oni.

But what badge shall we giue, what cullison?

Iunip.

As for that lets vse the infidelity and commiseration

of some harrot of armes, he shall giue vs a gudgeon.

Oni.

A gudgeon? a scutheon thou wouldst say, man.

Iunip.

A scutcheon or a gudgeon, all is one.

Oni.

Well, our armes be good inough, lets looke to our

legges.

Iunip.

Content, weele be iogging.

Oni.

Rachel? we retire: garlike God boy ye.

Iunip.

Farewell sweete Iaques.

Oni.

Farewell sweete Rachel, sweet dogge adiew.

Exeunt.

Fnter Maximilian, Count Ferneze, Aurelia, Phœ-
nixella, Pache.

Max.

Nay but sweet Count.

Count.

Away, Ile heare no more,

Neuer was man so palpably abusd,

My sonne so basely marted; and my selfe

Am made the subiect of your mirth and scorne.

Max.

Count Ferneze you tread to hard vpon my patience,

Do not persist I aduise your Lordship.

Count.

I will persist, and vnto thee I speake.

Thou Maximilian thou hast iniur'd me.

Max.

Before the Lord:

Aur.

Sweet signior.

Phœ

O my father.

Max.

Lady let your father thank your beauty.

Pac.

By gar me shall be hang for tella dis same,

Me tella madamoyselle, she tell her fadera.

Count.

The true Chamount set free, and one left here

Of no descent, clad barely in his name.

Sirrah boy come hither, and be sure, you speake the simple

truth:

Pac.

O pardone moy mounsieur,

Count

Come leaue your pardons, and directly say.

What villaine is the same that hath vsurpt,

The honor'd name and person of Chamount:

Pac

O Mounsieur, no point villaine, braue Cheualier,

Mounsieur Gasper.

Count.

Monusieur Gasper, on what occasion did they change

their names, what was their policy, or their pretext.

Pac.

Me canno tell, par ma foy Mounsieur.

Max.

My honorable Lord.

Count.

Tut tut, be silent.

Max.

Silent? Count Ferneze, I tell thee if Amurath the great

Turke were here I would speake, and he should here me.

Count.

So will not I.

Max.

By my fathers hand, but thou shalt Count, I say till

this instant, I was neuer toucht in my reputation: here me you

shall knowe that you haue wrongd me, and I wil make you ac-

knowledge it, if I cannot my sword shall.

Count.

By heauen I will not, I will stop mine eares,

My sences loath the Sauiour of thy breath.

Tis poyson to me, I say I will not heare.

What shall I know, tis you haue iniurd me,

What will you make? make me acknowledge it.

Fetch forth that Gasper, that lewd counterfeit.

Enter seruing with Camillo.

Ile make him to your face approue your wrongs.

Come on false substance, shadow to Chamont:

Had you none else to worke vpon but me,

Was I your fittest proiect? well confesse,

What you intended by this secret plot.

And by whose policy it was contriu'd,

Speake truth, and be intreated courteously,

But double with me, and resolue to proue

The extremest rigor that I can inflict.

Cam.

My honor'd Lord, heare me with patience,

Nor hope of fauour, not the feare of torment,

Shall sway my tongue, from vttring of a truth.

Count.

Tis well, proceed then.

Cam.

The morne before this battell did begin.

Wherein my Lord Chamount and I were tane,

We vow'd one mutuall fortune, good or bad,

That day should be imbraced of vs both,

And vrging that might worst succeede our vow,

We there concluded to exchange our names.

Count.

Then Maximilian tooke you for Chamount.

Cam.

True noble Lord.

Count.

Tis false, ignoble wretch,

Twas but a complot to betray my sonne.

Max.

Count, thou lyest in thy bosome, Count[unclear]

Count:

Lye?

Cam.

Nay I beseech you honor'd gentlemen,

Let not the vntimely ruine of your loue,

Follow these sleight occurents; be assured

Chamounts returne will heale these wounds againe,

And breake the points of your too piercing thoughts.

Count.

Returne? I when? when will Chamount returne?

Heele come to fetch you, will he? I tis like,

Youl'd haue me thinke so, that's your policy.

No, no, yong gallant, your deuice is stale,

You cannot feed me with so vaine a hope.

Cam.

My Lord, I feede you not with a vaine hope,

I know assuredly he will returne,

And bring your noble sonne along with him.

Max.

I, I dare pawne my soule he will returne.

Count.

O impudent dirision? open scorne?

Intollerable wrong? is't not inough?

That you haue plaid vpon me all this while;

But still to mocke me, still to iest at me?

Fellowes, away with him, thou ill-bred slaue,

That sets no difference twixt a noble spirit,

And thy owne slauish humour, do not thinke

But ile take worthy vengeance on thee, wretch?

Cam.

Alas, these threats are idle, like the wind,

And breed no terror in a guiltlesse mind.

Count.

Nay, thou shalt want no torture, so resolue, bring

him away.

Cam.

Welcome the worst, I suffer for a friend,

Your tortures will, my loue shall neuer end.

Exeunt.

Manent Maximillian, Aurelia, Phœnixella, Pacue.

Phœn.

Alas poore gentleman, my fathers rage

Is too extreame, too sterne and violent[unclear]

O that I knew with all my strongest powers,

How to remoue it from thy patient breast,

But that I cannot, yet my willing heart,

Shall minister in spight of tyranny

To thy misfortune, something there is in him,

That doth enforce this strange affection,

With more then common rapture in my breast:

For being but Gasper, he is still as deare

To me, as when he did Chamount appeare.

Exit Phœnixella.

Aure.

But in good sadnesse Signior, do you thinke Cha-

mount will returne?

Max.

Do I see your face, Lady?

Aure.

I sure, if loue haue not blinded you.

Max.

That is a question, but I will assure you no, I can

see, and yet loue is in mine eye: well, the Count your father

simply hath dishonor'd me: and this steele shall engraue it on

his burgonet.

Aure.

Nay, sweet Signior.

Max.

Lady, I do preferre my reputation to my life,

But you shall rule me, come lets march.
Exit Maximillian.

Aure.

Ile follow Signior, ô sweet Queene of loue!

Soueraigne of all my thoughts, and thou faire fortune,

Who (more to honour my affections)

Hast thus translated Gasper to Chamount.

Let both your flames now burne in one bright speare;

And giue true light to my aspiring hopes,

Hasten Chamounts returne, let him affect me,

Though father, friends, and all the world reiect me.

Exit.

Enter Angelo, Christopher.

Ange.

Sigh for a woman, would I fould mine armes,

Raue in my sleepe, talke idly being awake,

Pine and looke pale, make loue-walkes in the night,

To steale cold comfort from a day-starres eyes.

Kit, thou art a foole, wilt thou be wise? then lad

Renounce this boy-gods nice idolatry,

Stand not on complement, and wooing trickes,

Thou louest old Iaques daughter, doest thou?

Chris.

Loue her?

Ange.

Come, come, I know't, be rul'd and shees thine owne,

Thou't say her father Iaques, the old begger,

Hath pawnd his word to thee, that none but thou,

Shalt be his sonne in law.

Chris.

He has.

Ange.

He has? wilt thou beleeue him, and be made a kooke,

To waite on such an antique wethercocke;

Why he is more inconstant then the sea,

His thoughts, Cameleon-like, change euery minute:

No Kit, worke soundly, steale the wench away,

Wed her, and bed her, and when that is done,

Then say to Iaques,shall I be your sonne?

But come to our deuise, where is this gold?

Chris.

Heere Signior Angelo.

Ange.

Bestow it, bid thy hands shed golden drops,

Let these bald french crownes be vncouered,

In open sight, to do obeysance

To Iaques staring eyes when he steps forth,

The needy beggar will be glad of gold.

So, now keepe thou aloofe, and as he treades

This guilded path, stretch out his ambling hopes,

With scattring more & more, & as thou go'st, cry Iaques, Iaques

Chris.

Tush, let me alone.

Ang.

First ile play the ghost, Ile cal him out, Kit keep aloofe.

Chris.

But Signior Angelo. Where wil your selfe and Rachel

stay for me, after the iest is ended?

Ange.

Masse, that's true, at the old Priory behinde S. Foyes.

Chris.

Agreed, no better place, ile meete you there.

Ange.

Do good foole, do, but ile not meet you there.

Now to this geere, Iaques, Iaques, what Iaques?

within

Ange. Iaques.

within

Iaq.

Who cals? whose there?

Iaq.

Who cals?

Ange.

Steward, he comes, he comes Iaques.

Enter Iaques.

Iaq.

What voice is this? no body here, was I not cald? I was.

And one cride Iaques with a hollow voyce,

I was deceiu'd, no I was not deceiu'd,

See see, it was an Angell cald me forth,

Gold, gold, man, making gold, another starre,

Drop they from heauen, no, no, my house I hope

Is haunted with a Fairy. My deere Lar,

My houshold God, My Fairy on my knees.

Christ.

Iaques.

Exit Christophero.

Iaq.

My Lar doth call me, ô sweet voyce.

Musicall as the spheares, see, see, more gold.

Enter Rachel.

within

Chris.

Iaques.

Iaq.

What Rachel, Rachel, lock my doore, looke to my house.

within

Chris.

Iaques.

Iaq.

Shut fast my doore, a golden crowne, Iaques shall be a

king.

Exit.

Ange.

To a fooles paradice that path will bring

Thee and thy houshold Lar.

Rach.

What means my father, I wonder what strange humor.

Ange.

Come sweete soule, leaue wondring, start not, twas I laid this plot to get thy father forth.

Rach.

O Angelo.

Ange.

O me no oo's, but heare, my Lord your loue,

Paulo Ferneze is returnd from warre,

Lingers at Pont Valeria, and from thence

By post at midnight last, I was coniur'd

To man you thither, stand not on replies,

A horse is sadled for you, will you go,

And I am for you, if you will stay, why so.

Rach.

O Angelo, each minute is a day till my Ferneze come,

come weele away sir.

Ange.

Sweet soule I guesse thy meaning by thy lookes,

At pont Valerio thou thy loue shalt see,

But not Ferneze, Steward fare you well.

You wait for Rachel to, when can you tell?
Exeunt,
Enter Iaq.

Iaq.

O in what golden circle haue I dan'st?

Millaine these od'rous and enfloured fields

Are none of thine, no heres Elizium,

Heere blessed ghosts do walke, this is the Court

And glorious palace where the God of gold

Shines like the sonne, of sparkling maiesty;

O faire fethered, my red-brested birds,

Come flye with me, ile bring you to a quier,

Whose consort being sweetned with your sound:

The musique will be fuller, and each hower

Enter Christ.

These eares shall banquet with your harmony ô, ô, ô,

Chris.

At the old priorie, behind Saint Foyes,

That was the place of our appointment sure:

I hope he will not make me loose my gold,

And mock me to, perhaps they are within: Ile knock.

Iaq.

O God, the case is alterd.

Christ.

Rachel?Angelo? Signior Angelo?

Iaq.

Angels? I where? mine Angels? wher's my gold?

Why Rachel? O thou theeuish Canibal,

Thou eatest my flesh in stealing of my gold.

Chris.

What gold?

Iaq.

What gold? Rachel call help, come forth,

Ile rip thine entrailes, but ile haue my gold:

Rachel why comes thou not? I am vndone,

Ay me she speakes not, thou hast slaine my child.

Exit

Chris.

What is the man possest trow? this is strange,

Rachel I see is gone with Angelo:

Well ile once againe vnto the priory,

And see if I can meete them.

Enter Iaques.[unclear]
Enter Iaques.[unclear]

Iaq.

Tis too true,

Th'ast made away my child, how hast my gold:

O what Hienna cald me out of dores,

The theife is gone: my gold's gone, Rachels gone,

Al's gone? saue I that spend my cries in vaine,

But ile hence too, and die or end this paine.

Exit.

Enter Iuniper, Onion, Finio, Valentine.

Iuni.

Swonds, let me goe, hay catso, catch him aliue,

I call, I call, boy. I come, I come sweet heart:

Oni.

Page hold my rapier, while I hold my freind here.

Valen.

O heer's a sweet metamorphosis, a cupple of buz-

zards turn'd to a paire of peacocks.

Iuni.

Signior Onion, lend me thy boy to vnhang my rapier.

On.

Signior Iuniper for once or so, but troth is, you must inuei-

gle, as I haue done, my Lords page here a poor folower of mine.

Iuni.

Hei ho, your page then sha'not be super intendent

vpon me? he shall not be addicted? he shall not be incident?

he shall not be incident? he shall not be incident, shall he?

Fin.

O sweet signior Iuniper.

He foynes

Iuni.

Sbloud stand away princocks? do not aggrauate my ioy.

Valen.

Nay good Maister. Onion.

Oni.

Nay and he haue the heart to draw my bloud, let

him come.

Iuni.

Ile slice you Onion, Ile slice you?

Oni.

Ile cleaue you Iuniper.

Valen.

Why hold, hold, hough? what do you meane?

Iuni.

Let him come Ingle, stand by boy, his allebaster blad

cannot feare me.

Fin.

Why heare you sweet signior, let not there be any

contẽtion, betweene my Maister & you, about me, if you want

a page sir, I can helpe you to a proper stripling.

Iuni.

Canst thou? what parentage? what ancestry? what ge-

nealogy is he?

Fin.

A french boy sir.

Iuni.

Has he his French linguist? has he?

Fin.

I, sir.

Iuni.

Then transport him: her's a crusado for thee.

Oni.

You will not, imbecell my seruant with your bene-

uolence will you, hold boy their's a portmantu for thee.

Fin.

Lord sir.

On.

Do take it boy, its three pounds ten shill. a portmantu.

Fin.

I thanke your Lordship.

Exit Finio.

Iuni.

Sirrah Ningle: thou art a traueller, and I honour thee.

I prithee discourse? cherish thy muse? discourse?

Valen.

Of what sir?

Iuni.

Of what thou wilt. Sbloud? hang sorrow?

Oni.

Prithy Valentine assoile me one thing.

Valen.

Tis pitty to soile you sir, your new apparell.

On.

Masse thou saist true, aparel makes a man forget himself.

Iun.

Begin, find your tongue Ningle.

Val.

Now will gull these ganders rarely:

Gentlemen hauing in my peregrinatiõ through Mesopotamia.

Iun.

Speake legibly, this gam's gone, without the great

mercy of God,

Heres a fine tragedy indeed. Thers a Keisars royall.

By Gods lid, nor King nor Keisar shall?

Enter Finio, Pacue, Balt. Martino.

Balt.

Where? where? Finio, where be they.

Iun.

Go to, ile be with you anon.

Oni.

O her's the page signior Iuniper:

Iun.

What sayth monsier Onion, boy.

Fin.

What say you sir.

Iuni.

Tread out boy.

Fin.

Take vp, you meane sir.

Iun.

Tread out I say, so, I thanke you, is this the boy.

Pac.

Aue mounsieur.

Iuni.

Who gaue you that name.

Pac.

Giue me de name, vat name:

Oni.

He thought your name had been, we yong gentle-

men, you must do more then his legges can do for him, beare

with him sir.

Iuni.

Sirrah giue me instance of your carriage? youle serue

my turne, will you?

Pac.

What? turne vpon the toe.

Fin.

O signior no.

Iuni.

Page will you follow me, ile giue you good exhibition.

Pac.

By gar, shal not alone follow you, but shal leade you to.

Oni.

Plaguie boy, he sooths his humour? these french vil-

laines ha pockie wits.

Iuni.

Here? disarme me? take my semitary.

Valen.

O rare, this would be a rare man, and he had a little

trauell, Balthasar, Martino, put off your shooes, and bid him

coble them.

Iuni.

Freinds, friends, but pardon me for fellows, no more

in occupation, no more in corporation, tis so pardon me, the

case is alterd, this is law, but ile stand to nothing.

Pac.

Fat so me tinke.

Iuni.

Well then God saue the dukes Maiesty, is this any

harme now? speake, is this any harme now.

Oni.

No nor good neither, Sbloud?

Iuni.

Do you laugh at me? do you laugh at me? do you

laugh at me?

Valen.

I sir, we do.

Iunip.

You do indeed?

Valen.

I indeed sir.

Iuni.

Tis sufficient, Page carry my purse, dog me?

Exit.

Oni.

Gentlemen leaue him not, you see in what case he is,

he is not in aduersity, his purse is full of money, leaue him not?

Exeunt
Enter Angelo with Rachel.

Ang.

Nay gentle Rachel?

Rach.

Away? forbeare? vngentle Angelo,

Touch not my body, with those impious hands,

That like hot Irons seare my trembling heart,

And make it hisse, at your disloyalty.

Enter Chamount Paulo Ferneze

Was this your drift? to vse Fernezes name?

Was he your fittest stale, ô wild dishonor!

Pau.

Stay noble sir?

Ange.

Sbloud how like a pupper do you talke now?

Dishonor? what dishonor? come, come, foole,

Nay then I see y'are peeuish, S'heart dishonor?

To haue you a to priest and marry you,

And put you in an honorable state.

Rach.

To marry me? ô heauen, can it be?

That men should liue with such vnfeeling soules,

Without or touch or conscience of religion,

Or that their warping appetites should spoile

Those honor'd formes, that the true seale of friend ship

Had set vpon their faces.

Ange.

Do you heare? what needs all this? say, will you haue

me, or no?

Rach.

Il'e haue you gone, and leaue me, if you would.

Ange.

Leaue you? I was accurst to bring you hither,

And make so faire an offer to a foole.

A pox vpon you, why should you be coy,

What good thing haue you in you to be proud of?

Are y'any other then a beggars daughter?

Because you haue beauty, O Gods light a blast.

Pau.

I Angelo.

Ange.

You scornefull baggage, I lou'd thee not so much,

but now I hate thee.

Rach.

Vpon my knees, you heauenly powers, I thanke you,

That thus haue tam'd his wild affections.

Ange.

This will not do, I must to her againe,

Rachel, ô that thou sawst my heart, or didst behold,

The place from whence that scalding sigh euented.

Rachel, by Iesu I loue thee as my soule, Rachel, sweet Rachel.

Rach.

What againe returnd vnto this violent passion.

Ange.

Do but heare me! by heauen I loue you Rachel.

Rach.

Pray forbeare, ô that my Lord Ferneze were but here.

Ange.

Sbloud and he were, what would he do.

Pau.

This would he do base villaine.

Rach.

My deere Lord,

Pau.

Thou monster, euen the soule of trechery!

O what dishonord title of reproch,

May my tongue spit in thy deserued face?

Me thinkes my very presence should inuert,

The steeled organs of those traytrous eyes,

To take into thy heart, and pierce it through:

Turn'st thou them on the ground? wretch, dig a graue,

With their sharp points, to hide th'abhorred head;

Sweet loue, thy wrongs haue beene too violent

Since my departure from thee, I perceiue:

But now true comfort shall againe appeare,

And like an armed angell guard thee safe

From all th'assaults of couered villany.

Come Mounsieur, let's go, & leaue this wretch to his despaire.

Ange.

My noble Ferneze.

Pau.

What canst thou speake to me, and not thy tongue,

Forc't with the torment of thy guilty soule

Breake that infected circle of thy mouth,

Like the rude clapper of a crazed bell.

I, that in thy bosome lodg'd my soule,

With all her traine of secrets, thinking them

To be as safe, and richly entertained,

As in a Princes court, or tower of strength,

And thou to proue a traitor to my trust,

And basely to expose it, ô this world!

Ange.

My honorable Lord.

Pau.

The very owle, whō other birds do stare & wonder at,

Shall hoot at thee, and snakes in euery bush

Shall deafe thine eares with their—

Cha.

Nay good my Lord, giue end vnto your passions.

Ange.

You shall see, I will redeeme your lost opinion.

Rach.

My Lord beleeue him.

Cha.

Come, be sarisfied, sweet Lord you know our haste,

Let vs to horse, the time for my engaged returne is past;

Be friends againe, take him along with you.

Pau.

Come signior Angelo, hereafter proue more true.

Exeunt.

Enter Count Ferneze, Maximillian, Francesco.

Count.

Tut Maximillian, for your honor'd selfe,

I am perswaded, but no words shall turne

The edge of purposd vengeance on that wretch,

Come, bring him forth to execution.

Enter Camillo bound, with seruants

Ile hang him for my sonne, he shall not scape,

Had he an hundred liues: Tell me vile slaue,

Thinkest thou I loue my sonne? is he my flesh?

Is he my bloud, my life? and shall all these be torturd for thy

sake, and not reueng'd? trusse vp the villaine.

Max.

My Lord, there is no law to confirme this action.

Tis dishonorable.

Count.

Dishonorable? Maximillian?

It is dishonorable in Chamount, the day of his prefixt returne

is past, and he shall pay fort.

Cam.

My Lord, my Lord,

Vse your extreamest vengeance, ile be glad

To suffer ten times more, for such a friend.

Count.

O resolute and peremptory wretch!

Fran.

My honored Lord, let vs intreat a word.

Count.

Ile heare no more, I say he shall not liue,

My selfe will do it. Stay, what forme is this

Stands betwixt him and me, and holds my hand.

What miracle is this? tis my owne fancy,

Carues this impression in me, my soft nature,

That euer hath retaind such foolish pitty,

Of the most abiect creatures misery,

That it abhorres it, what a child am I

To haue a child? Ay me, my son, my son.

EnterChristophero.

Chris.

O my deere loue, what is become of thee?

What vniust absence layest thou on my brest,

Like waights of lead, when swords are at my backe,

That run me through with thy vnkind flight,

My gentle disposition waxeth wild,

I shall run frantike, ô my loue, my loue.

Enter Iaques.

Iaq.

My gold, my gold, my life, my soule, my heauen,

What is become of thee? see, ile impart

My miserable losse to my good Lord,

Let me haue search my Lord, my gold is gone.

Count.

My sonne, Christophero, thinkst it possible,

I euer shall behold his face againe.

Chris.

O father wher's my loue, were you so carelesse

To let an vnthrift steale away your child.

Iaq.

I know your Lordship may find out my gold,

For Gods sake pitty me, iustice, sweet Lord.

Count

Now they haue yong Chamount? Christophero?

Surely they neuer will restore my sonne.

Chris.

Who would haue thought you could haue beene so

carelesse to loose your onely daughter.

Iaq.

Who would thinke,

That looking to my gold with such hares eyes,

That euer open, I euen when thy sleepe,

I thus should loose my gold, my noble Lord, what saies your

Lordship?

Count.

O my sonne, my sonne.

Chris.

My deerest Rachel?

Iaq.

My most hony gold.

Count.

Heare me Christophero.

Chris.

Nay heare me Iaques.

Iaq.

Heare me most honor'd Lord.

Max.

What rule is here?

Count.

O God that we should let Chamount escape.

Enter Aurelia, Phœnixella.

Chris.

I and that Rachel, such a vertuous mayd, should be

thus stolne away.

Iaq.

And that my gold, being so hid in earth, should bee

found out.

Max.

O confusion of languages, & yet no tower of Babel!

Fran.

Ladies, beshrew me, if you come not fit to make a ian-

gling consort, will you laugh to see three constant passions.

Max.

Stand by, I will vrge them, sweet Count, will you be

comforted.

Count.

It cannot be but he is handled the most cruelly,

That euer any noble prisoner was.

Max.

Steward, go cheere my Lord:

Chris.

Well, if Rachel tooke her flight willingly?

Max.

Sirrah, speake you touching your daughters flight?

Iaq.

O that I could so soone forget to know the thiefe a-

gaine, that had my gold, my gold.

Max.

Is not this pure:

Count.

O thou base wretch, ile drag thee through the streets.

Enter Balthasar, and whispers with him.

And as a monster, make thee wondred at, how now.

Phœn.

Sweet Gentleman? how too vnworthily

Art thou thus tortured, braue Maximillian,

Pitty the poore youth and appease my father,

Count.

How, my sonne returnd? O Maximillian,

Francisco, daughters? bid him enter here.

Enter Chamount, Ferneze, Rachel, Angelo.

Dost thou not mocke me? O my deere Paulo welcome.

Max.

My Lord Chamount?

Cha.

My Gasper.

Chris.

Rachel.

Iaq.

My gold Rachel? my gold?

Count.

Some body bid the begger cease his noise.

Chris.

O signior Angelo, would you deceiue

Your honest friend, that simply trusted you?

Well Rachel: I am glad tho'art here againe.

Ang.

I faith she is not for you steward.

Iaq.

I beseech you maddam vrge your father.

Phœ.

I will anon? good Iaques be content.

Aur.

Now God a mercy fortune, and sweet Venus,

Let Cupid do his part, and all is well.

Phœ.

Me thinks my heart's in heauen with this comfort.

Cha.

Is this the true Italian courtesie.

Ferneze were you torturd thus in France? by my soules safety.

Count:

My most noble Lord? I do beseech your Lordship.

Cha.

Honored Count, wrong not your age with flexure of a knee,

I do impute it to those cares and griefes,

That did torment you in your absent sonne.

Count

O worthy gentlemen, I am ashamd

That my extreame affection to my sonne,

Should giue my honour so vncur'd a maine,

But my first sonne, being in Vicenza lost.

Cha.

How in Vicenza? lost you a sonne there?

About what time my Lord?

Count.

O the same night, wherein your noble father tooke

the towne.

Cha.

How long's that since my Lord? can you remember.

Count.

Tis now well nie vpon the twentith yeare.

Cha.

And how old was he then?

Count.

I cannot tel, betweene the yeares of three and foure,

I take it.

Cha.

Had he no speciall note in his attire,

Or otherwise, that you can call to mind.

Count

I cannot well remember his attire,

But I haue often heard his mother say:

He had about his necke a tablet,

Giuen to him by the Emperour Sigismund.

His Godfather, with this inscription,

Vnder the figure of a siluer Globe: En minimo, mundus.

Cha.

How did you call your sonne my Lord?

Count

Camillo Lord Chamount.

Cha.

Then no more my Gasper? but Camillo,

Take notice of your father, gentlemen:

Stand not amazd? here is a tablet,

With that inscription? found about his necke

That night, and in Vicenza by my father,

(Who being ignorant, what name he had)

Christned him Gasper, nor did I reueale,

This secret till this hower to any man.

Count.

O happy reuelation? ô blest hower? ô my Camillo.

Phœ.

O strange my brother.

Fran.

Maximilion? behold how the aboundance of his ioy

Drownds him in teares of gladnesse.

Count.

O my boy? forgiue thy fathers late austerity:

Max.

My Lord? I deliuered as much before, but your ho-

nour would not be perswaded, I will hereafter giue more ob-

seruance to my visions? I drempt of this.

Iaq.

I can be still no longer, my good Lord,

Do a poore man some grace mongst all your ioyes.

Count.

Why whats the matter Iaques.

Iaq.

I am robd, I am vndone my Lord, robd and vndone:

A heape of thirty thousand golden crownes,

Stolne from me in one minnte, and I feare:

By her confedracy, that cals me father,

But she's none of mine, therefore sweet Lord:

Let her be tortured to confesse the truth.

Max.

More wonders yet.

Count.

How Iaques is not Rachel then thy daughter.

No, I disclaime in her, I spit at her,

She is a harlot, and her customers,

Your sonne this gallant, and your steward here,

Haue all been partners with her in my spoile? no lesse then

thiry thousand.

Count.

Iaques, Iaques, this is impossiole, how shouldst thou

come? to the possession of so huge a heape:

Being alwaies a knowen begger.

Iaq.

Out alas, I haue betraid my selfe with my owne tongue,

The case is alterd.

Count.

One stay him there.

Max.

What meanes he to depart, Count Ferneze, vpon my

soule this begger, this begger is a counterfait: vrge him? didst

thou loose gold?

Iaq.

O no I lost no gold.

Max.

Said I not true.

Count.

How'didst thou first loose thirty thousand crowns,

And now no gold? was Rachel first thy child:

And is shee now no daughter, sirra Iaques,

You know how farre onr Millaine lawes extend, for punish-

ment of liars,

Iaq.

I my Lord? what shall I doe? I haue no starting hols?

Mounsieur Chamount stand you my honored Lord.

Cha.

For what old man?

Iaq.

Ill gotten goods neuer thriue,

I plaid the thiefe, and now am robd my selfe:

I am not as I seeme, Iaques de prie,

Nor was I borne a begger as I am:

But sometime steward to you noble father.

Cha.

What Melun that robd my fathers treasure, stole my

sister?

Iaq.

I, I, that treasure is lost, but Isabell your beautious sister

here seruiues in Rachel: and therefore on my knes?

Max

Stay Iaques stay? the case still alters?

Count.

Faire Rachel sister to the Lord Chamount.

Ang.

Steward you cake is dow, as well as mine.

Pau.

I see that honours flames cannot be hid,

No more than lightening in the blackest cloud.

Max.

Then sirra tis true? you haue lost this gold,

Iaq.

I worthy signior, thirty thousand crownes.

Count.

Masse who was it told me, that a couple of my

men, were become gallants of late.

Fran.

Marry twas I my Lord? my man told me?

Enter Onion and Iuniper

Max.

How now what pagent is this,

Iuni.

Come signior Onion, lets not be ashamd to appeare,

Keepe state? looke not ambiguous now?

Oni.

Not I while I am in this sute.

Iuni.

Lordings, equiualence to you all.

Oni

We though good, to be so good, as see you gentlemen

Max

What? mounsieur Onion?

Oni.

How dost thou good captaine.

Count.

What are my hinds turnd gentlemen.

Oni

Hinds sir? Sbloud and that word will beare action, it

shall cost vs a thousand pound a peece, but weele be reuenged.

Iuni.

Whilt thou sell thy Lordship Count?

Count.

What? peasants purchase Lordships?

Iuni.

Is that any Nouels sir.

Max.

O transmutation of elements, it is certified you had

pages.

Iuni.

I sir, but it is knowen they proued ridiculus, they did

pilfer, they did purloine, they did procrastinate our purses, for

the which wasting of our stocke, we haue put thẽ to the stocks

Count.

And thither shall you two presently,

These be the villaines, that stole Iaques gold,

Away with them, and set them with their men.

Max.

Onion you will now bee peeld.

Fran:

The case is alterd now

Oni.

Good my Lord, good my Lord:

Iuni.

Away scoundrell? dost thous feare a little elocution?

Shall we be confiscate now? shal we droope now?

Shall we now be in helogabolus:

Oni.

Peace, peace, leaue thy gabling?

Count.

Away, away with them; whats this they prate,

Exeunt with Iuniper and Onion

Keepe the knaues sure, strickt inquisition

Shall prsently be make for Iaques gold,

To be disposd at pleasure of Chamouut.

Cha.

She is your owne Lord Paulo, if your father

Giue his consent.

Aug.

How now Christofero? The case is alterd.

Chris.

With you, as well as me, I am content sir.

Count.

With all my heart? and in exchange of her,

(If with your faire acceptance it my stand)

I tender my Aurelia to your loue.

Cha.

I take her from your Lordship, with all thanks,

And blesse the hower wherein I was made prisoner:

For the fruition of this present fortune,

So full of happy and vnlookt for ioyes.

Melun, I pardon thee, and for the treasure,

Recouer it, and hold it as thine owne:

It is enough for me to see my sister:

Liue in the circle of Fernezes armes,

My friend, the sonne of such a noble father,

And my vnworthy selfe rapt aboued all,

By being the Lord to so diuine a dame.

Max.

Well, I will now sweare that case is alterd. Lady fare

you well, I will subdue my affections, Maddam (as for you)

you are a profest virgin, and I will be silent, my honorable

Lord Ferneze, it shall become you at this time not be frugall,

but bounteous, and open handed, your fortune hath been so

to you Lord Chamount.

You are now no stranger, you must be welcome, you haue a

faire amiable and splendius Lady : but signior Paulo, signior

Camillo, I know you valiant? be louing: Lady I must be better

knowne to you, signiors for you, I passe you not: though I let

you passe; for in truth I passe not of you, louers to your nupti-

als, Lordings to your dances, March faire al, for a faire March,

is worth a kings ransome. ——
Exeunt
The end.