To this rare place where Wit is taught,
The Major now had Collin brought;
The House was Peopled with all sorts,
The Cities product and the Courts,
An Ancient Comick Piece they knew,
Intitled the Fair of Bartholomew,
Collin first thought as he came in,
It had a Conventicle bin,
And that mistaking of the day,
The Major brought him there to pray;
He saw each Box with Beauty crown'd,
And Pictures deck the Structure round;
Ben, Shakespear, and the learned Rout,
With Noses some, and some without.
Loud Musick sounding through his Ears,
That were more sanctified than theirs,
Made him a great while doubting stand,
Till seeing Brother Zeal o'th Land,
Give to his Canting Sister Greeting,
Confirm'd him this must be a Meeting;
With Eyes turn'd up and shake of Head,
He now repeated all was said;
Admir'd the Habit of the Prig,
And wink'd at stealing of the Pig,
As wisely knowing all those Slips,
Natural to their Apocalips;
And that the Brethren may Steal,
As well as lie, to shew their Zeal;
He had not long been in this Rapture,
Which pleas'd him more than any Chapter;
But by the Nature of the Play,
His Mood was turn'd another way;
For finding that a little after,
Meerly to urge the Peoples Laughter,
Rabbi with loud Shouts and Mocks,
Was for Slight reason set ith' Stocks;
In Breast a suddain Anger glow'd,
And instantly revenge he vow'd,
As thinking this a base affront,
To the whole Tribe of those that Cant,
This Maggot working in his Pate,
He starts from off the Bench he sate;
And getting near half choak'd with Rage,
Thus spoke to those upon the Stage.

What Carnal Motion of the Beast?
What Dæamon Sirs has you possessest?
Or what curst Law is there that Grants,
This Licence to affront the Saints,
That labour in their strict Vocation,
And sweat to teach Regeneration?
is now th'eleventh Tryal come,
In Persecution taught at Rome;
That thus you dare disturb their Zeals,
And tye unerring Truth by th'Heels?
If so, we have no more to do,
Both He and I will suffer too;
If not, it never shall be said,
An Elder to the Stocks was led,
For all the Rabble to deride,
Whilst I wear Bilboe by my side.

The Actors when he first begun,
By th' Noyse were stopt from going on;
Nor was the Audience less amaz'd,
Who all on Collins out-side gaz'd;
Who now possess't with zealous Rage,
Was getting up upon the Stage,
With Sword in Hand resolv'd on War,
With those who stock'd the Presbiter,
For sake of Brotherhood to ease him,
And from his Wooden Shame release him;
When Blew Coat Bully that stood by,
And heard his Chattering Lunacy,
Wondring to see a Country Lout,
In Cassock Vile to make that Rout,
His Noddle reaching with Battoon,
Gave him a thump that brought him down:
And now the Hubbub was so great,
That each one rose from off his Seat;
All Laughing at his Garb and Look,
Whom now they for a Madman took;
Till Collin who resolv'd to show,
He was a Wiser Man then so;
Nor Begger as they might suppose,
By the Humility of 's Clothes;
Oth' suddain stopping the Discourse,
Out of his Pocket pull'd his Purse,
With tuenty pieces in't of Gold,
His proper Right to have and hold;
Yet this ceas'd not the loud uproar,
But rather made the Laughter more;
And tho the Major fretting try'd,
To take him off to tother side;
And to inform him did his best,
That what he saw, was but a Jest
Yet he with late ill usage treated,
Would forward, and had bin worse treated,
Had not a Female Wastcoateer,
Came up, and whispering in his Ear,
The ill match'd Combatant drawn off,
Leaving the Crowd to shout and laugh.